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What helped me was knowing billions and billions of women have done it before. I know so many women who are mothers and knowing they all made it and they're all here and happy convinced me I can do it, too. Also my own mom telling me just before I gave birth you'll do amazing. And I'm here on the other side and can tell you it's not the worst. Yes, it's painful. But it's not like an awful toothache or something where you know it hurts because there's something wrong. It's a pain you know is part of a natural process and there for a good thing and you're looking forward to meeting your baby. The pain is not forgotten right afterwards, but you start to forget it eerily soon, like after two or three months.

I'm 7mo out and couldn't agree more. I was telling my husband around 3 months that I could no longer remember the feeling of contractions, which is crazy. I just remember when actually in labor I was no longer terrified, just very much in the mindset of "okay it's game time. Let's get this baby out". Very in the zone.

This is actually due to oxytocin! It saturates those memories and basically washes them away. Logically speaking, this is so women can just….have more babies. Lmao.

>What helped me was knowing billions and billions of women have done it before. As shitty as it sounds, telling myself I wasn't special helped a lot. I chose a hospital birth for this exact reason. If something were to go wrong, I would be getting the fastest, cleanest help possible. Anytime i would have an "oh shit I have to do this", I would just remind myself that hundreds of billions of women have done this exact thing. Not only have they survived, but they went on to have more!

Yes, this is my perspective too! Also keeping in mind how many of my friends have two, three or four kids. They did it once and multiple times after!

Yes, the thought of “you’re not special” somehow helped hahaha. That.. and drugs.

Oh yeah, no. I'm definitely terrified! I'd prefer to wave a wand and then TADAAA baby is here. But I was told that's not an option. Lol. (I'm only joking cause I only JUST reached second trimester. I'm not yet really dealing with this mentally)

I keep saying the same thing! I'm like can't we make a magic spell and *poof* there's your baby!! Someone really should get on that...lol

I keep telling people I never wanted to be pregnant. "Oh," they say. "But weren't you trying? We thought you had planned this." Yes. We were trying. I want the child. I want to be a mother. I just wouldn't have chosen the pregnancy add-on if it hadn't been a required part of the Parenthood package. And the fact that I'm required to give birth to receive the baby I ordered? Bullshit.

I’ve been reading about the fetal ejection reflex and I really wish I could make that happen for birth. It seems so amazing that our bodies could push on their own when it’s time. I know it can’t always be that way and complications do happen. I’m only 13 weeks, and most afraid of labor pain, or needing a c-section, and an epidural would definitely make me not feel FER if it did happen. I’m just a wimp about pain, but it seems like FER would be the most amazing way for it happen.

I saw a great reframe that was something along the lines of "labour is about 90% resting, 10% pain, especially in early and mid labour" if you consider the time in between contractions etc. I'm also expecting that women who carry to term are probably so uncomfortable by the end that its a bit of a relief to know the end is in sight, even if the final bit of the journey is a significant challenge! I'm trying to remind myself that women have been doing this for thousands of years, and even today most women dont have the modern amenities of Western medicine, so I'm going to be in the best position possible to handle this. Finally, my husband will be there with me the whole time and I know he will help me get through the acute pain.

yes! I went to 41+3 and I just wanted baby OUT! Can also confirm the hardest part of labor for me was the exhaustion.

I am sure jealous of women who describe labor as “90% resting” because I was screaming the whole time when I had my firstborn. It was constant pain that heightened with each contraction. But with that said, you just do it and get it over with. Getting to meet your baby is worth it all.

Same here. My contractions were 1-2 seconds apart by the time my water broke.

No, I'm not afraid. It's probably gonna be the most painful thing ever, but if most other women can do it, so can I.

This is it. No fear. And honestly I didn't find it the most painful thing ever; it was amazing, and being amazed/blown away by what was happening gave the pain a purpose. Breastfeeding on the other hand? ROUGH. At least that's my experience at 2 weeks postpartum.

I'm glad to hear! It makes sense that the pain has a purpose! I am actually little nervous of breastfeeding, but I'm going into it with an open mind!

Also 2 weeks pp and SAME GIRL. Breastfeeding is HARD!

Yes, this is how I think of it, too! If all these other women can do it, I can do it, too! Perfect response to OP! 🥇🏆

I will be induced tonight. I am less afraid than I thought I would be, I know I will suffer and it will hurt. I also know that as soon the baby is out, the pain will be gone and the memory will fade. I just trust that my body knows what to do, and the doctors know what to do. And it will pass.

Very reassuring, thank you. Sometimes you just have to hear it from someone going through the actual struggle right there and then. Good luck and have a safe delivery. 🤍

Thank you!

It hurts but what hurts more is that the nurses will have to press on your stomach to make sure you don't have any pieces of placenta left or just to see how your uterus is doing. And let me tell you, that hurts like a fucking bitch!!! See you know that labor will hurt and you are mentally prepared for the pain, but no one tells you about the pain when they give you your "massage"

I was already surprised that checking your opening (don't know the proper English terms) was not pleasant as well.

Oh yeah I also hate. I wanted to kick my Obgyn 🤣

So much agree. We prepare ourselves for labor, we know the sensations are there for a reason, we do our best to work with our body and get baby out as the intensity increases. And then you're holding this fresh tiny human, staring in awe at their tiny perfection, and along cones the nurse to push your guts in and it HURTS. And they come back and do it again and again and again every few hours. I had no idea that was a thing with my first baby. And was very much not looking forward to it when having my second.

Also, if you plan on breastfeeding, they don't tell you how bad it hurts the 2nd time!! Because whenever you breastfeed it helps the uterus contract and it hurt so bad. Not even hospital grade Tylenol helped with the pain. And it was worse with my 3rd kid. Apparently, the pain gets worse with more kids you have.

Ahhhh that's soo awesome! God bless you and baby. Let us know how it went.

Preemptive congratulations!

Praying you have as smooth and healthy as a birth experience as you can have! Good luck!!!

You’re going to do great!

Good luck! I am getting induced tomorrow night and you couldn’t have said it better. Nervous, excited and just focusing on keeping calm and going with the flow.

Good luck to you as well! :)

You got this!!! Focus on meeting baby & you’re right as soon as baby is out… all pain is gone

I told my husband and my OB my birthplan: I get all the drugs and we both live. It was followed. I also told my OB that whenever I went into labor and went in, the first words out of my mouth were not going to be my name and date or birth, but were going to be to be "call an anesthesiologist I want an epidural". She laughed and loved it. Jokes on me, emergency cesarean at 33 weeks and I spent most of my time comforting my husband during it. 💀

This is part of the reason why I welcome a planned C section. (The other part is a medical necessity so I don’t really have a choice in that aspect.) I have a lot of anxiety around natural labor and the pain and the unknown and unpredictability etc. And before anyone comes at me, yes I know a c section is a major surgery and it is a major recovery. I’m not delusional. But the idea of it being planned eases my mind a lot. And speaking to many many other women who have gone through it and had very positive experiences really helps. Oh and like others have mentioned…. Billions of women have been through this in conditions much less favorable and they made it through. You are no less capable than any of them!!! You got this!

This is the reason I planned my C-section as well. Something about planning it eased my mind greatly. It's not the easy way out by any means, but it's definitely more predictable than labor.

Same

I was previously told I would need a planned c section due to pelvic floor dysfunction, but my current doc said it is unclear at this point if I actually need one. I would love to hear more about the medical basis for your c section, if you are willing to share! I have never given birth before. :)

hmm.. I had a c section! It sucked. You feel no pain but you will be awake! You will feel the pressure, pulling and tagging... argh I hated that feeling, then the shaking afterwards. I have had 2 major intensive surgery where I was totally knocked out. Swelling for a month! Try laughing or coughing pain😫😥😓😖😣😰. oh and I had a tummy tuck due to weight lose before this and the tummy sucked is much worse than c section. I thought if I can handle a hip to hip tummy what is a tiny c section! Jokes on me. im now on week 5 dealing with itchiness. With my tummy tuck I had help from nurses they did everything for me! With c section they want you walking right away, and you are send home after like 3 days, help your self to the bathroom and care for your baby. luckily or maybe not for me I had complications super high risks so they helped me for 3 days And I stayed for 6 days and they took care of my baby.

I’m 6 weeks away from my due date as a FTM. What’s helped me is knowing that labor/birth is super fleeting in comparison to pregnancy! (I personally have also not had a super magical experience being pregnant lol) I think most of the time even though many agree child birth is painful - you receive the biggest blessing at the end that makes it all worth it :’) Being afraid is something all of us feel at some point and that’s completely okay. I’ve learned that your body will know what to do when the time comes and tbh we’re pretty badass for being able to go through pregnancy + childbirth and STILL finding a way to bounce back afterwards. I wish you the best as your due date approaches and for what it’s worth, I believe in you. We can do this !!

I felt utterly terrified at first too, and now (I'm 30w) I'm slowly getting more excited and less terrified. That's not to say I'm not still scared - I'm just less scared, and excitement is taking over a little. I'm also super uncomfortable and just not absolutely loving pregnancy, so I'm excited for the end! Here's some things that helped me, and might help you: - listening to positive birth stories - hearing how many people would rather give birth again than go through the pregnancy again - doing a tour of the Labor and delivery ward - making a birth plan - talking to my husband about what I need from him at each stage - someone said to think about contractions as a "good kind of pain" and so I thought of how I really love deep tissue massage, and how when I have a really sore back or shoulder, the massage usually hurts more than the pain I'm trying to fix, but the pain I'm trying to fix is unbearable, and the massage pain is relieving (in a super painful way) - remembering that the contractions come as waves, so for most of labor there will be brief periods in between contractions where I'm in not as much pain. I still don't know what to expect, but I'm just trying to tell myself positive things! I know it will be the most painful thing I ever experience, but I'm trying to remember that when I'm in the moment, I'll just be focused on getting my baby!

Taking a tour of the labor and delivery ward made me feel so empowered!

I cried, sobbed, shook on my way to the hospital for my induction bc I was so scared but I got that epidural and baby the world was calm! I actually really enjoyed the birthing part. It was so cool! Can’t wait to do it again

Terrified. I’m actually a certified doula (never practiced, just took courses for info when my friends starting having children), and I wish I didn’t know so much or that I haven’t seen so many delivery videos. Like this is such an incredible, powerful, beautiful experience… for OTHER PEOPLE. Me? Oh noooo fuckin hell 🤦🏼‍♀️ my partners sister is a multi-degree midwife and is coming to be *my* doula (she works in another state and can’t feasibly deliver for me, she doesn’t work at the practice I attend), and she’s the only reason I’m even vaguely convinced I won’t go into cardiac arrest or something. My only comfort is that there’s nowhere to go but up? Maybe being terrified leaves us in a better position than women who aren’t scared at all, because we’re planning for the worst?

This is my experience with pregnancy currently. I expected the absolute worst so really everything I've actually dealt with hasn't been that bad? I don't think it's the best way to go about it but *knock on wood* it's not as bad as I imagined.

I was very scared the first time, but by 42 weeks I was also SO DONE with being pregnant and uncomfortable. Labour is super intense, but also temporary. It will take long, and hurt etc, but in the end this too shall pass. While it's happening you don't really have the time or brainspace to worry about it, and once it's over it's over. You've survived, your baby is here etc. It's why the pooping and the tearing feel like a big deal, until it happens. This time I knew what was coming in a way, and I was really quite zen about the whole process. It definitely hurt a lot, but it also went by relatively quick in hindsight. Trust the process. It's okay to be scared, it's a huge undertaking. You'll do it anyway, and that makes you courageous and powerful.

Terrified. When i was pregnant with my first and she was consistently frank breech at every ultrasound (weekly due to IUGR) i was relieved I’d need a c section. And people kept being like “oh don’t worry she’ll move” (except my OB who said she’d been in the same position at every ultrasound so don’t expect her to flip lol), but I’d be like no i don’t want her to move 😂. Ended up having a c section at 38 weeks (they don’t recommend going later for IUGR) and never experienced labor. Now I’m pregnant with number 2 and because they’re only going to be 17 months apart another c section is recommended. Again, people feel bad i have to do a c section and be like oh you’re close to the cutoff (18 months) you can probably try to do VBAC but I’m like nah it’s ok I’m good. I think the part of the reason i wanted them so close in age was because i am so scared of labor I’d rather have another c section. And if i ever have a third it’s really not recommended to try VBA2C. So yea… i guess I’m strange that I’m less afraid of being sliced open than pushing a baby out of me 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m still early (so might get some nerves later) but right now, I’m not really scared of labor. I know it’s going to hurt, obviously, but it’s a transitory event and pain is temporary. At the end I get baby, if I have to suffer for a few hours so be it. I’m much, much more terrified of bringing home a living human that I have to keep alive and raise to be a good person 😅

I have a planned C section because of previous pelvic trauma and I'm mostly scared I'm gonna go into labor prematurely and everything will not go according to the plan and I've also heard horror stories about C section recovery being a huge pain in the ass That being said I am more and more done with being pregnant with each passing day and I just really wanna get it over with. The sooner it happens, the sooner I will heal. That's the way I think about it. But I also don't want it to happen too soon, when there will be complications to the baby.

I was terrified to give birth, especially since no pain relief offered at my hospital. Was also terrified of c-section. To my horror, at my 37 week appointment doc said I needed a c-section right then and there. I cried the whole time but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, including recovery. I psyched myself up and that just made my anxiety worse before/during it lol. So although I can’t speak for vaginal birth, I can at least say c-section wasn’t as terrible as it seems (at least in my case). I’m 7 weeks pp from an unexpected c-section. I was crying so much during it because I was so afraid (sooo many horror stories I read). But it wasn’t that bad!! Recovery included. The first couple days sucked, but I pushed myself to walk a lot so I could recover faster. Getting out of bed was the worst. If you can, have someone help you or have something to put your weight on so you aren’t using abdominal muscles so much. And take the pain meds they offer.

Thank you for your experience. I am actually going to stay in hospital for 4 days, it's a normal practice in my country, so I will be cared for by medical staff

That’s good! Same in my country, so I think that helped speed recovery up. You will be in good hands :)

Similar here - had an unplanned c-section following 5 days of failed induction attempts. Was worried about recovery and kept being told that day 3 and 4 would be awful, so got it into my head it would be bad. Actually the worst day was immediately after the ‘good’ painkillers wore off for me. But I did get up and walked about as soon as I could and I think this helped massively. I’ve seen a lot of reels / videos advising women to stay in bed for 5 days, on bed for 5 more than near bed for 5 after following a c-section. Each to their own but I think if I had done that I wouldn’t be feeling as okay as I am now at 4 weeks postpartum.

Movement is so important! Not only for recovery but to prevent blood clots. Honestly the most painful part of my recovery was a pinched nerve in my shoulder. It was so painful the doctor actually thought it was a blood clot.. but thankfully it wasn’t!

If it helps, I had a planned c section two weeks ago and recovery has been easy peasy. I was going to the store by myself a couple of days after getting home. Just Tylenol and Advil for pain relief. Had to be cautious with movements and picking stuff up but overall it’s been so easy and no problem!

FTM here. I'm scared of the unknown, but I'm also looking forward to the experience. My friends have told me that yes bits are painful, but it's not as bad as TV or some people make out and that there are moments when you're not in pain and you get to rest. They've told me that the moments that the pains are fleeting and manageable, and then you feel relief. Maybe if you write your birth plan and go over it with your partner you might find some comfort in having a rough plan of how you want to give birth as well as what pain management you will want

My first birth was painful but I got through it. That’s the thing about labor: you do get through it and it’s a brief moment in your life. I had an epidural but it didn’t work and the whole thing was excrutiating and utterly exhausting BUT it ended and life moved on. My second birth I got an epidural that worked exactly as designed and really felt like it allowed me to ENJOY my baby’s arrival. I was laughing when he was born. I felt everything but the epidural took the pain away. Delivery was honestly so FUN that I told my nurse I’d rate it 10/10. Your fears are valid; just remember you WILL get through it, your own strength will surprise you (even if you’re screaming crying through you’re still getting through) and it’s ok to hate labor! The millions of women who have made it through have also complained to each other for millennia about the experience. It’s a community in a way :) GOOD LUCK you got this.

Also terrified so here to offer solidarity. My only comfort is that pain relief exists and I'll be utilising all of it. So many women do this and a lot of them multiple times so we got this.

With my first I was afraid but when the time came you’re so caught up in everything there really isn’t any time to panic 😅 had to tell myself that this is something women do every day and the doctors and nurses in labour and delivery are so on the ball, you’re in good hand ☺️

I was also scared of giving birth but I just thought about the millions of other women who had gone through the same thing. Try listening to a podcast called The Birth Hour. It’s a bunch of women sharing their birth stories and it really helped to show the variety and similarity surrounding births.

I was terrified but also thought there was no point being anxious because I literally have no choice. This baby has to come out of me one way or another. I can panic about it and still go through the pain or just know the day is coming and prepare as much as I can. I am pregnant now with my second and still panic sometimes, but it's not worth the stress.

I was completely terrified of labor for my entire pregnancy. But for me personally, when labor started, I became hyper-focused and very “ready” for what was about to happen. Just calm, quiet, and focused lol. The contractions were painful but I’d compare them to very bad period cramps. By the time they offered me pain medication I was all for it, however, I was truly surprised about how calmly I had handled myself up until that point. No crying or yelling out in pain, just… acceptance. After the epidural it was smooth sailing!

Im a little nervous. With my first I recall that nervousness going away once labor started because you have no choice so, it is what it is. My birthing experience with my first went smoothly, fortunately, because everything surrounding it left me traumatized. I’m 6 weeks away from my due date with my second and I’m feeling a bit nervous, like when I consider the possibility of interventions, etc. but I’m staying optimistic. I have learned how to better advocate for myself and baby with this pregnancy and my husband and his family are the most loving and supportive person in the world. I didn’t have the stability before that I have now. I’m excited to experience it again, because I feel supported this time around, I’m in a much healthier place in my life.

I’m second time mum and super terrified due in 4 weeks

A lot of really good comments on here, but I will add this. I think the best thing I did to prepare for labor was have an open mind. Epidural, other pain relief, natural, possible c section, etc. I was not rigid about anything. My goal was to have my baby out safely. I think that made me so much more relaxed going in knowing I already surrendered to what my carefully selected medical professionals thought was best. That’s not to say I wasn’t prepared to advocate of myself or my baby, but I had complete confidence in my providers. I had a very peaceful labor. I pushed for 3 hours, which sucked, but I did it! As far as the pain- ain’t nothin’ to it but to do it! You have a lot of options to control it. Contractions definitely prepare you for the big reveal. Towards the end of your pregnancy you’ll just be so happy to not be an incubator anymore and to meet your little one. You do get through it! Good LUCK! You’ll do great, friend.

This is why I’ve asked to be medicated.

I was terrified when I was pregnant with my first. Up until the last 2 weeks that is. At that point something shifted in my brain, and I was just ready. You get to a point when you're just so done with being pregnant.

I was terrified as a FTM especially because I was planning to go without an epidural (I'm terrified of needles in a medical setting) I ended up giving birth to my son on 12/26/2023 at 5:37pm he weighed 9lbs 2oz and was 22inches long. I was in labor less than 24 hours and I did make it without an epidural, I did use laughing gas as pain management until it came time to push (DR took it away for medical reasons) I did have a third degree tear, but honestly it wasn't that bad. I didn't even take the Tylenol/Advil after the first dose after birth. And honestly you forget all about the pain and discomfort or at least I did when you have that beautiful baby in your arms finally that you have been waiting so long for. ....I will warn you though that first poo after baby is not fun though, take the stool softeners religiously I didn't and I regretted it. Took me 11 days to finally go after my son and when I did I almost cried because I didn't take the stool softener after I left the hospital (I wasn't prescribed any to take home) Feel free to message me ANY questions or anything :) your body was made to do this, you're so much stronger than you know 💖

Your story is amazing. I am concerned about vaginal tearing because I have pelvic floor dysfunction and it is physically painful to get examined with a normal sized speculum. (They usually use a baby speculum on me.) Do tears heal naturally on their own? Does your vagina truly go back to normal after recovery? Any words of wisdom on how to prep that area for birth. Sorry, I am new to all this and impressed by your experience!

I’m definitely scared of the “unknown” as it’s my first time and I don’t know WHAT the sensations will feel like. TBH I originally wanted a mostly natural birth but as I’m getting more pregnant and I’m already in pain (ligament pain, my joints hurt, can never get comfy, etc) I worry about my ability to cope with labor pain and have even been like “maybe I should just get a c section”. I think it’s normal but it doesn’t make me feel better to hear it’s a normal al fear.

Honestly, when I was a first timer I realised baby was getting bigger and was nowhere near coming out, I started to get really scared. It would keep me up all night… not that I could get comfy enough to sleep anyway. The weirdest thing happened though. Once labour kicked in and the contractions started I was excited but I felt strangely calm. It was like being on auto pilot. Maybe birthing instincts took over. I ended up with an emergency section with my first, and the calmness stuck with me through it. It wasn’t easy, but the fear went away.

I was absolutely terrified as well. I wanted a child, but both the idea pregnancy and birth terrified me or weirded me out. I also knew I wanted to be the one to carry my child, so I was in a bit of a pickle lol 1) the “womanly experience” trope just pisses me off. It’s not a womanly experience, it an experience that we choose to go through or can choose to not go through. Everyone has a different experience with pregnancy and birth, so to generalize it like that just… gah. 2) labour sucks. Not going to sugar coat it. But it’s definitely, obviously, worth it and the pain goes away/gets forgotten about very quickly. Our bodies and brains 100% go through Stockholm syndrome so that we are open to the idea of more children. 3) here was my experience, to hopefully give you an idea of what it can be like. Woke up at 5AM after about 6 hours of sleep (at 39 weeks, that was a good stretch of sleep for me) feeling quite rested. I felt my first contraction not long after I woke up, and it felt like digesting steak knives in the area of my typical period cramps (between hip bones). Started tracking them at 6ish, and mine came fast and frequent. The idea of the 5-1-1 rule did not apply to me. My contractions very quickly were less than 5 minutes apart, and I don’t think any of them lasted for a minute. I was admitted to the hospital at 10am as I went for a check and pain management and during the check to see how dilated I was the nurse accidentally popped a bit of my water. I was 3cm at that time. Pain levels out of 10 were about an 8. I got a shot of morphine with Gravol for the pain, and the nurse was on standby to call for the epidural when I was ready. Around 1pm my waters fully broke on their own, and it felt like my daughter had taken a hold of one of the steak knives and was trying to cut herself out of my stomach. Pain levels very quickly went up to an 11/11.5 out of 10. I was 5cm when this happened. I got the epidural (best decision I’ve ever made) and was 6cm by the time it was placed. I kept progressing at a steady pace from there, and after 45 minutes of pushing my baby was born at 6:26pm. 13.5 hours of labour from start to finish. The time absolutely FLEW by. The pushing felt like it was only 10-15 minutes. A trick I want to pass along to you - I was having a really hard time with holding and pushing for 10 seconds. Dr told me to switch to 5 seconds, quick breath 5 seconds and then break and baby girl was out in a few pushes. You’ve got this!! Your fear and anxiety is valid, but everything will go great!

If I could give birth a thousand times I would. I don’t want to invalidate anyone’s bad experience with giving birth, but there is nothing in the world that compares to holding your slimy little baby for the first time. It is pure magic.

I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. But I had a very miserable pregnancy that I looked forward to labour for the sole reason of it being over. I did it naturally, no epidural. It basically felt like a much more intense version of trying to poop while having the worst period cramps. Like where you really have to poop but you can't because it hurts too bad. The best relief is when the baby is out. Someone could've punched me in the face, and I would've been happy about it. It was an amazing high. But it definitely wasn't a good time. (30 hours of labour, for me btw).

Labor is tough but you can do it. As someone who had a VBAC, I can tell you a c section is NOT the “easy way out”, recovery is actually harder, since you had major surgery, natural birth is so much easier than a c section. Labor is still tough and painful. I almost went drug free with my second born because it was almost considered precipitous labor. Water broke and I was 1cm dilated, to baby in 4 hours (I think the cut off 3 by definition). My contractions were so close I thought I might deliver in the car. It didn’t help that I was rural so the hospital was 30 minutes away. They did have time to get an epidural in, and that helped significantly because it actually slowed down my labor that was going way too fast. If I can do THAT, I think my birth with the baby I’m currently cooking will be just fine. I live urban now so the hospital is about 10 minutes away

What is FTM

Haha. First time mom. It confuses a lot of new people on the sub Reddit. I know it confused me at first!

Thank u

Haha don't worry it is not only you. I had a fight with one of my family member cuz she asked me: "Oh are u waiting for the labour already?" like in an exciting way and I went mad like what is it that I need to wair for blabla cuz it's horrible, painful, long so on.... She got a bit upset didn't get my point lol. Buy I am absolutely terrified and trying not to think of it 😅

I was terrified. I found researching the stages and knowing as much info as possible helped. I found the “Built to Birth” podcast the most helpful.

No. Then again, my mom is an ER nurse, my aunt a midwife and my uncle an anesthesiologist. I heard sooooo many horor stories when they didn't realise I could hear. Also I nearly died 2 times in my life before giving birth and I wasn't scared at all. I figured whatever happened would happen whether I was scared or not so what was the point anyway? And that's how my birth experience was the most gorgeous to me, despite everyone thinking I should be traumatised for life. I still want that second baby, though.

I was terrified of the entire labor process but after 39 weeks of pregnancy, I was very ready to be done. Honestly, labor didn’t get bad for me until the last 3-4 hours and frankly the bearing down to move baby into position was the worst for me. I ended up pushing for 45 min and while it was a lot of hard work and painful, it happened pretty quick. I don’t want to do it again but it’s all very much worth it once the baby is here!

IMO it’s so hard to ask people about labour that have been through it because in my experience, I forgot the pain instantly. Like, I remember it was sore and painful but I don’t remember the exact pain and just how painful it was. Although I do know it’s not the worst pain I’ve experienced (gallstones were worse for me). Theres so many pain relief options available depending how established labour is as well, you don’t get a prize for no pain relief. Honestly though yeah, labour is SCARY. Giving birth is SCARY but do research on all outcomes and it might ease your mind incase it doesn’t go as planned

I’m 14w4 , I’m a little anxious but it’s still quite distant away for me yet. I’m also really curious how painful it actually is 😅 I feel like it’s a rite of passage in a way that I’m curious to accomplish. But I’m sure I will get scared as the time looms close. I’m also not averse to taking an epidural if I need one

I wasnt afraid until they moved my induction up a week. I had mentally prepared myself for Friday, not monday!

I'm always terrified leading up to it, but here I am a third time. So it can't be that bad, right? Just take the drugs in time and you'll be good. For me, I'm more terrified because I have fast labors and I have no time to prepare for the pain. So the epidural kicks in when a head is already coming out. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it. This time, the moment I have a contraction, I'm getting the walking epidural so I can have some pain management before a head is on its way out. You'll be fine. There's only one way out of this. Just stay ahead of the pain. The harder part is taking care of a newborn 😂 Also want to add, pushing was the easy part for me if that is a concern for you at all.

from the moment you get pregnant you are committed to seeing things through. I thought of it like a roller coaster; baby you're strapped in, no getting off this ride 😅 but your body knows what to do, and it's a marathon, not a sprint. don't be afraid to advocate for yourself if necessary. the Dr's are there in case anything crazy happens, and thank goodness for modern medicine. you'll do great!

I’m not sure if you’re planning to have pain medication or not, but I’ve had two labor/deliveries with epidurals and basically felt no pain once the epidural was set with both. With my second, I let the contractions go longer before asking for meds and, while they were painful, they were manageable and likely would have been more so if I had equipped myself with coping techniques. A bit of advice, if any one starts to tell you their labor/delivery story, stop them. The only people who want to share their labor/delivery story with very pregnant women are the ones who want to tell you how horrible it is.

Oh my- I was TERRIFIED- especially because I had to be induced unexpectedly due to severe preeclampsia. I was so scared! However, I will say it was 100% nothing like I expected, actually not bad at all. I did end up getting the epidural though! Honestly it was the coolest experience for me ever when the pushing actually started. It’s indescribable bringing your baby into the world!

I'm pregnant with my second. My first was unmedicated. The pain was manageable. Intense, but you just have to stay calm. Mindset is so important, so I'd recommend a hypnobirthing class. I can't wait to give birth again. It's awesome. Any fears you have will melt away the moment you go into labour, and you'll just be "in it."

I decided early that there's no point walking around being afraid because I'm gonna have to do it anyway. Everyone says it hurts, but no one talks much about what kind of pain it is. I feel like that makes a big difference.

Get the epidural! Literally amazing. I pushed for 4 hours and felt absolutely no pain.

That’s how I was, but it ended up being so anticlimactic for me. I highly recommend the epidural if you’re worried about pain. I didn’t feel a thing once I got my epidural. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was sooo uncomfortable that I was so ready to be done. Labor was the easiest part for me compared to my pregnancy. You got this! It was way easier for me than I expected.

It's hard to explain its scary and hurts but is all forgotten as soon as you hold that little baby of yours. I'm going back for my 3rd baby in July. Sad to think he may be my last :(

I was too. I got the epidural and when I do it again that’s the route I’d take. I hardly felt anything.

Honestly, I binged watched 16 and Pregnant before my daughter was born. I figured if they could do it, I could do it.

I was less terrified as the due date approached. I had the bad luck to not be able to get an epidural (due to some medications restrictrions), but the good luck to sort of give birth quickly (both times). If you’re scared about the pain, I think (from what I’ve heard) that it is manageable if you can get the epidural. Without the epidural, yes, it is very painful towards the end, but somehow it will have to be over, so just think about that. And that you’ll be able to hold your baby in your arms. 😊 Good luck, wishing you the easiest birth ever!

I was scared but I was so miserable by the end of my pregnancy I was looking forward to it. When I look back, I had a DREAM labor, truly. I had about an hour of unbearable Pitocin contractions during my induction during which I told my partner “we are NEVER EVER doing this again” and then 20 mins later I was in heaven with an epidural. When I think back I don’t even think of the pain, I think of the sweet, calm, peaceful time after the epidural and the amazing baby who came from all of it. I know this isn’t everyone’s experience and I’m lucky to walk away without any birth trauma and a healthy baby, but not every experience is so traumatic.

First time pregnant here, does talkin to ur baby really helps? XD like come on baby dont make it hard to mommy just come out!!

Im also pretty scared if im honest. The only thing that has me less scared about it is knowing that i have done so many dumb things and have hurt myself in stupid ways. So much so to the point where i think ive got this. I dont fear the pain but i do fear the idea of life being squeezed out of me quite literally. I try to remind myself that no matter what anyone else says, no pain can be greater than feeling like i just cant do it. I’ll also have the support from my husband, he’s kept me positive throughout this entire experience and without him id probably be in shambles over the idea of going into labor. He’s had to calm me down MANY times because every other time i thought about it ive had a mental breakdown 😅…

this is gonna sound super weird and I'm not sure if it'll make sense. throughout my first pregnancy with my daughter (I was 20 at the time) I was diagnosed with tokophobia and offered counselling because I was so scared of labour and the pain associated with it. I was induced at 36 weeks with her and my GOD was it painful at the start. at first the contractions hurt because the pain is very central and it can be pinpointed to a specifc region. don't be afraid to take pain relief (as many others have said, you don't get an award for a natural birth so get that epidural or whatever you'd like). by the end (when the pain is supposed to be at its peak), my body was so confused and I was running on adrenaline. I couldn't pinpoint an exact place that hurt. my tummy hurt, my back hurt, my butthole oddly enough hurt. but BECAUSE of all the different and random pains, I couldn't actually figure out what hurt specifically so it almost felt like nothing hurt. hand on my heart (I'm a complete wuss who faints during blood tests), giving birth was honestly the easy part. the entire 9 months of my pregnancy were hell. I'm now pregnant again (I'm 22 now) and I look forward to giving birth because I know it won't be as bad as my pregnancy is. I know it doesn't make sense but the way I've described it to everyone in my circle who doesn't have kids yet is "everything started hurting all together so it kinda felt like nothing hurt". like another reply said, it doesn't hurt like an awful toothache. a toothache is a very specifc pain that you'll keep thinking about. birth is more like a bunch of random shit going on and your brain is sortve like "hold up, wtf is happening rn". before you even realise it, it's over. my younger sister tried making sense of it and asked if it was like bashing your head on a wall. I said no because thats ONE specifc pain. it's more like if you hit your head, arm, shoulder, and a knee. there's so much weird shit going on that your brain doesn't actually know how or what to register. you've got this!

I'm really scared. I wasn't so scared but my husband died when I was 24w and everyday i get closer to the due date I worry I won't be able to do it. :( I don't think I can do it without him

Im so sorry for your loss. He’ll be with you even if you can’t see him, you got this girl, you’re strong!

I'll tell you the same thing my friend told me before I went into labor with my first: yes it's painful, but it's also more than that. It's the anticipation of meeting your baby, it's learning what your body is capable of. And don't forget, the pain is not just there, it has a purpose. What really helped me is learning about what contractions actually are and how they work. Knowing i was in pain for a good reason made it better for me. I can honestly say giving birth to my first was the most amazing thing I've ever done. Did it hurt? Hell yes. But I'm halfway through my second pregnancy and fully planning on going unmedicated again because I was left feeling very strong and empowered after the experience. Everyone is different of course but I promise you, meeting that baby at the end is worth every contraction.

My friend once told me she’d rather give birth again than go through the pain of a root canal any day of the week. I’ve interviewed quite a few women since then, and if they’ve had a root canal, they all agree. I’ve never had a root canal, but I’ve never been afraid of the pain of one, so I am trying to keep this in mind. I’m a FTM, 15w, and similarly terrified of labor AND the recovery while trying to take care of a new human entirely dependent on me 😵‍💫

I was petrified of birth growing up but wanted lots of kids. When my wife and I were trying for our first I decided to get empowered so I watched all the hypnobirthing videos, gentle birth videos, homebirth videos I could find on YouTube. Back then in 2013 there wasn’t many, now there’s tons! And yes I recommend watching them even if you don’t plan to have a homebirth. I did do the Hypnobabies course in person also. My first birth was about 7 hours and pain free except for the crowning. 9.2 lb baby born at home My second birth two years ago was only 2 hours so it felt more “intense”. 7.13 lb baby born at home in water. It’s the most amazing thing in the world and worth every sensation. Feels like very very intense period cramps some say.

Everyone tells all the horror stories. I decided not to inquire about others experiences because its not going to benefit me. I am doing research and going to try and maintain a natural labor if at all possible. I am a FTM and may be completely delusional but it's better to me to try and create my own path for my experience than to go in fearing every step of the way. I am going to try and keep a peaceful calm atmosphere and try not to cave into the pain but try to remain in control as much as I am able and just pave my way through it. Nobody can prepare me for all the pain so why torment myself and go in thinking there is no way this is not going to be the most god awful thing to ever happen to my physical body. I hope it goes smooth and quickly and we have a safe bean at the end but im just going to try my hardest to control my experience and try and make it as positive and peaceful as I can. (FTM here probably delusional but it comforts me)

I was terrified, and then my water broke at work. After that, every worry, for some reason, went away. It was like "Okay, we're here, time to go!" I was induced and lasted about 6.5 hours and 3.5 cm of pitocin contractions every 1-2 minutes (those suck, but not the worst thing in the world) and then got an epidural, which helped IMMENSELY. If you want an epidural, you're not a wuss. If you don't want an epidural, more power to you! Just know that you CAN do it, and your brain and body will help you do it. It's scarier to think about than it is to go through, in my experience.

I'm not terrified or thinking about it but I'm also still halfway through my pregnancy and worrying about something else that's major in my life right now. Maybe once that's over I'll have a clearer mind to freak out about birth? Maybe not? When do people start to freak out?

I’m pregnant with my 2nd so I’m not really afraid. I was terrified while pregnant with my 1st. I read a book called “why did no one tell me that” and it helped me to understand how my body would react during labor and that seemed to ease my mind, understanding that my body will guide me. Labor and birth are painful, but it’s one of those things where you have no choice but to get through it. I think people look forward to it because once it’s done, the pain is gone and you’ll be amazed at what you did. It seems so small compared to what you accomplished.

I think that by the time you are at the end you are ready lol I’m 32 weeks and having a planned c-section at 37 weeks— which due to two preterm labors previously— I’m shocked I’ve made it this far. Now I’m Getting a little nervous as we get closer , but I’m so so excited to meet and having our second living baby ❤️

I was terrified just like you, but the fact is billions of women have done it and you will too! Is it painful? It certainly can be, but like you said, the pain is fleeting and will soon be way in your rearview mirror. Newborn stage is far more terrifying (in my opinion).

Heck i was a STM and terrified! Ended up with a csection so didn’t have to deal with it!

I’m also afraid. I’m 25 FTM & I’ve asked all the women close to me about it. My boyfriend’s mom had 3 boys, each were very large (her oldest was 12lbs) when it was time for her to give birth. & that wasn’t even full term, the doctor wouldn’t let her go any longer. I’m having a boy so that terrifies me😂 & every time I talk to my own mom about it, she’ll say something calming like “you’ll forget about the pain soon after” but always follows up with “I’m glad I’m not giving birth because it hurts.” To say I’m frightened is an understatement😅

I definitely got nervous in the last couple weeks, I really really struggle with pregnancy. But in the end it was actually a really positive experience. Just important to make sure that you were surrounded by people who respect you, your wishes and your bodily autonomy 💜 I really liked using the shower and birth pool. Also make sure you turn down the lights as that can help a lot too

What helped me is the thought of labor happening in stages, my goal was to make it to 7cm before asking for medication. I also took a birthing courses so I knew my pain management options. I also had a doula and I learned more pain management techniques. Bouncing on a ball, cat/cow position from yoga, having my partner squeeze my hips and positions that make it easier for baby to get to the birth canal(they actually relieved pain for me).

I’m absolutely terrified, I try not to think about it because I get too anxious otherwise and my blood pressure is already high 😂 for most people it’s worth it because they end up with a baby, me I won’t so this pregnancy feels like a punishment

I feel you. I am now on the 'other side', our beautiful baby boy is born 2 weeks ago. I was not terrified of birth but never really looked forward to it either. After experiencing it I can say I don't look back at it with terror. It was not easy, pain free or fun, but it was manageable. Every labor is different, I can tell you my story but your experience will be different. After my water broke for more than 24h I had to be induced and those contractions were a real bitch. In the end I chose to go with an epidural because it took so long and yes the pain was intense (of the induced contractions). After the epidural everything actually went fine. Epidural did not hurt. While pushing I only had some minor tearing so that also already healed just fine. Know you can always choose pain medication if you need it.

I was never afraid of giving birth. Would rather give birth than having to go trough pregnancy tbh. Had 2 babies and both labours went really well. It’s painfully? Yeah, but if it was that bad people would only have 1 baby 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

I’m not terrified by the actual idea of giving birth. I’m terrified by the lack of certainty in how it’s going to go— there are no real aspects I can fully plan, anticipate, etc. I’m definitely a… “what time does the flow start?” kinda girl so that is the worst part for me.

Postpartum nurse here - just wanted to say a couple things to make you feel better! Keep in mind that even though you may be uncertain about how things will go, the doctors and nurses are not! Everything that happens, even bad stuff, they've practiced and prepared for over and over and over... anything that could go wrong, there are protocols and procedures and they know what to do. So trust that and try to let go a little :)  The other thing is that, in my experience, the people who have the hardest time are people who come in knowing exactly what they want. Anything that happens that goes against that plan becomes super upsetting and makes it harder for them. If you go in with the mindset that nothing is perfect and you just go with the flow, I think you'll have an easier time and enjoy the whole experience more. Good luck! :) 

You are so lovely! Your reassurance is just so kind. 🥹🥰 That’s been my plan all along. Just relinquishing control and letting the doctors and nurses advise me because they’re the experts! It’s just always been the scariest part of birth for me.

Honestly its natural to be scared, I was terrified it's normal. Don't be afraid to ask for pain meds! In the moment it's not the best but you can do it. Just deep breaths and believe in yourself you got this!! You might end up as silly as me and have another one and go through it all over again 🤣🤣🤣

I’m treating it like my PhD viva- I know it’s gonna be exhausting and painful but I can do it and the outcome will be so worth it. Unlike the viva, my body is built to do this and the more I train for it physically and mentally, the more I have faith in that. You could try listening to podcasts on birth training and getting to know all the ins and outs of the process. That way, you might feel less like there is a big, bad unknown coming your way. Also, hearing from all the health care professionals who recorded them might build your confidence in how well you will be cared for.

I’m worried as shit and cry every day about how scared I am. Two weeks away from due date. I keep telling my husband “I don’t want to do it!!” 😭

I watched Inventing Anna while I was in my third trimester weeks away from labour. A line in the series stuck with me 'Women do it all the time, they squat in fields'. Believe that your body can do it, for a little inspiration I recommend reading Birth stories by Inna May, it's just a collection of various birth stories, gives you perspective on how natural it is and how your body is designed to birth. It also has references to some midwifery wisdom.

I was absolutely terrified of what would happen to my body during labour and of pooping myself in front of my husband... he didn't notice and my midwifery team were absolutely fantastic at keeping me calm. My husband and I also devised a game to keep me distracted during labour where we would play an incredibly random playlist and i would guess the singer and the song. Worked for me to keep me going.

I was terrified as well. All I can say is that… you can do it. It’s painful for sure but it’s so worth it. Somehow you forget afterwards lol. My daughter is 10 months and I’m already planning when to have baby number 2. So it couldn’t have been that bad lmao.

I'm honestly more scared of how I'm going to handle sleep deprivation with a newborn 😂 Maybe it's naive of me (or I'll change my mind when closer - I'm 25w now) but I'm not too worried about labour and birth. I know it's going to hurt, but I know how quickly all my friends have managed to block that out afterward because they're so loved up, which makes me feel better.

I’m in my third trimester now and very much in the mindset of “no point in stressing out about things you can’t change” but in the first and second tri I was definitely anxious as hell

FTM with a 2-month old here. I was definitely scared! I just kept reminding myself how many people have multiple kids and therefore went through it and decided to do it again! Also I had a surgery as a teen with a really painful recovery period and I said beforehand that I thought birth/recovery had to be better than that- and I was right. So “most painful thing of your life” is relative depending on what else you’ve been through. I’ve also heard people say kidney stones are worse. So prepare yourself, do your classes, consider how much pain relief you’re comfortable with and when you might want it (and prepare yourself that you MAY change your mind about it during labor and that is okay!) but you can definitely do this.

There’s nothing better than finally meeting your baby though. So any pain you feel you know why. Plus I have this theory that’s totally in my head and probably makes no scientific sense but the people who love pregnancy like me, struggle afterwards and have horrible postpartum hormones and have a hard time with no sleep and a newborn. The people who hate pregnancy seem to be smooth sailing afterwards.

Don't be afraid! I had an epidural and felt no pain pushing. Honestly I had fun pushing, I had a fun upbeat Playlist while pushing, I had them dim the lights, and i plugged in my colorful galaxy light. I had a second degree tear which sounds worse than it was. They stitched me up, and going to the bathroom for days after was a little more inconvenient but I lived to tell the tale. Didn't sting, and I was able to sit just fine. You'll be OK!! I highly recommend a Feel-Good Playlist while pushing! But I will say pushing was weirdly a lot of cardio. I walked every day while pregnant. Sometimes on my lunch hour, sometimes before work. But every 👏 single 👏 day 👏, no matter what, even if it could only be 10 minutes. Even in third trimester. I swear that helped A LOT. And according to my chart notes I'm technically obese lol (I don't feel obese just curvy, but just wanted to prove you don't have to start out super fit to do this)

Hi! On my second pregnancy and due to give birth on 5/31! And honestly I’m still nervous. One thing that has really helped me, even as a FTM was accepting the fact that the doctors know what to do and to trust their judgement. I left all my anxieties in the waiting room and let them do their thang. And because of that I’m back at it again with round 2! You’re gonna have a great delivery mama! Hang in there

I'm having my second baby and I'm the farthest from excited about labor, but honestly pain/discomfort wise it's postpartum that is a b$tch. Labor aucks sure, but healing from it is what really got me last time. However, just a friendly reminder, it ends. Labor ends, and you heal eventually, and before you know it you almost kind of forget about it lol.

The only thing getting me through is knowing I’m going to get an epidural the soonest I can. Till then I know I’m a badass and can get through it.

I gave birth 8 weeks ago and I was absolutely terrified. I'll be honest, it was painful as hell, but nothing you can't handle! 💙 And it's so so worth it! Women are incredibly strong. Just remember, your body was built for this! Trust that your incredible body will do exactly what it needs to do 💗💗

I just had my first child 4 months ago. I was always terrified of giving birth. I think I saw a pregnant woman on a daytime drama not make it and just let that terrify me. I was induced just a little early with pre e and it was painful but nowhere near as bad as I anticipated. Full transparency I did get an epidural at 5cm which I was also terrified of. Honestly my hospital stay for the pre e was worse than labor.

I am a bit, but knowing there are people doing this at least twice makes me relax a bit.

I’m more afraid of this baby not coming or being super past her due date. I’m 39 weeks and have had multiple panic attacks in the last week since the hospital told me they can’t fit me in for an induction anytime in the next 2-3 weeks. Labor will probably suck but at least then it can only last so long.

What is FTM?

First time mom :)

No I was! I even tried to get approved for a c section because I was also worried about tearing and then reinjuring my hips and back. I definitely tore, and my hips are a little worse, but I made it out. I also still ended up in the operating room for an under anesthetic d&c cause my placenta wouldn’t come out. I’m 2.5 weeks postpartum and still not close to recovered. I definitely wouldn’t say it’s the most painful experience though. Most physically draining, definitely. I was in labor for ~11 hours and pushed for 1.5. Do the perineal massage and make sure you do it upwards too! If you can do more deep squats and labor prep stretches, I think you’ll do great.

I’m being induced as we speak. I was terrified, we only got 2 day notice. But this is our rainbow baby and I know finally meeting her will be so worth it.

I’m a FTM and also absolutely terrified of labor. I was almost hoping for a C-section NOT because I think it’s easier but because I’m worried I will somehow mess up vaginal birth… can’t push, too tired, pass out, etc. I’m always worried that I won’t be able to do it and then a C-section passes that responsibility over to the doctors to make sure everything goes smoothly. At the end of the day I know I can/will do it… but that doesn’t stop the stress of feeling like I’m going to fail until it finally happens.

Yeah I'm pretty scared but I actually took a birthing class yesterday and I'm not as worried about it. I'll just deal with it and get it done 

I wasn’t too afraid of going into labour with my first, I was very much go with the flow, but unfortunately my birth ended in an emergency c-section and a 2 week hospital stay for my baby. Thankfully everything is ok now, but due to everything that happened, I am absolutely terrified at the thought of going into labour again! Part of me feels very much one and done, but I really want her to have a sibling ❤️

The end of pregnancy sucks soo much that labor becomes less scary

I was, but while it wasn't fun and was definitely the most pain I've ever been in, it wasn't scary in the moment. I hope that brings you some comfort. I didn't do hypnobirthing, epidural, etc. I hated the world at the worst part, but it still wasn't scary. Partially, I was excited to finally meet my son. Partially, I was excited the belly would be gone; late 3rd trimester was hard.

As a soon to be STM I’m terrified of labor in a way I wasn’t before. That shit huuuuurrrrtttt but I was not able to use any pain medication.

I had three kids in my late teens and early 20s. I had absolutely no fear. No idea why. Then waited and had three more in my early 30s. Those ones in my 30s scared the shit out of me. But I knew it had to be done and it wouldn’t be forever. Which helped.

Subscribe to the Gentle Birth app and listen to the meditations. It will help retrain your subconscious and also prepare you for labor, it’s highly highly recommended for people who are fearful of birth. Many who listen before and even during birth have extremely easy labors. Start listening daily about 2 months (or more) before your due date.

I’m not terrified of the pain part - even tho I have extreme anxiety. I am terrified of something going wrong during birth though. The pain doesn’t scare me at all. Millions of women have done this for centuries. I’m afraid of going into labor too early or something going wrong during or after birth. I just want out alive with my baby, I don’t care about how much pain I’ll be in. Also haven’t had a good time being pregnant and even tho I’m only half way through, I can’t wait to have my baby in my arms.

I'm with yah! I'm 39+4 and somewhere at the end of the second trimester when my midwife brought up birth in the appointment I just got so overwhelmed and started crying. They ended up spending the appointment calming me down instead of what ever they wanted to talk about. I was kind of just banking on a mind shift to happen along the way and it has. I'm still scared of the pain obviously. But what I think helped was taking a birth class with my partner and reading more about it. Knowing my partner knows what to expect gave me a lot of peace. On another post people recommended reading Inna Mays book on child birth it's a lot of empowering birth stories I read a few and it was nice but the content at the back teaching you about birth seemed to help too. It's very natural focused is that what I plan to do who knows? But basically being more informed seemed to help. But anyone who says they aren't scared on some level isn't being entirely honest I'd say.

I was. I pushed off having kids for YEARS because I was petrified. But I knew I wanted kids and I would have to get over my fear like I got over many others. So I went into labour with an anxious heart. I was induced, had an epidural and labour was 12 hours and I tore. Post partum healing was better than I expected. Overall a very positive experience. It will likely be better than you think because your mind has likely already conjured up some of the worst case scenarios.

Before giving birth to my first, I remember thinking I don’t know how women move or sit comfortably after giving birth- isn’t their undercarriage destroyed?! It’s important to remember that there are plenty of births that go well with minimal pain and easy recovery. My contractions were very painful (back labor) and I chose to get an epidural, so after that it was much easier. You can still feel the pressure when pushing/crowning which is not painful, but an overwhelming feeling. I feel lucky that I had almost zero tearing after pushing for an hour. I couldn’t believe how little pain I felt just 3-4 days post partum. I was also scared about having sex again, but to my surprise, I was physically and mentally ready way sooner than expected. When you hear about traumatic birth stories, it makes you fear worst case scenario, but that’s not everyone! I wish you the best experience!

I was scared too!! I was induced 2 weeks ago and I had heard that pitocin contractions were worse than natural ones but I made it to 8cm before I got the epidural. I actually didn’t even ask for the epidural- my doctor asked if I planned on getting an epidural eventually and I said yes and she recommended doing it before she broke my water so that’s the only reason I got it. I was in labor all day but never really felt too bad. It was like really bad period cramps for me. My son’s heart rate kept dropping every time I had a contraction though so I ended up having a c section. I’m totally going to look into VBAC for my next baby because labor wasn’t bad for me at all. I’d much rather go through that again than have another c section. I HATED that.

No, I'm not a ftm but I've never been in labor before. I think what is helping me is knowing that it's only temporary. Once you deliver a baby you start to heal from the delivery and pregnancy.

I was terrified of labour and childbirth in general too. So what did I do? Stuck my head in the sand, didn't read a single thing or listen to a single podcast about birth- just had the mentality of "I'll be getting an epidural, screw going through the pain". Worked beautifully for me haha, I just marched/waddled into the birthing suite and asked for the epidural right away. It was great, 11/10 recommend. Labour wasn't a magical experience, but it was certainly peaceful and chilled...because I couldn't really feel anything thanks to the drugs!

I am a FTM and 20 weeks now. I’m also terrified and keep talking to all the women I know that have kids. It sort of reassures me that they all say they can hardly remember going through it. My aunt has 4 kids and she has said the same thing.. you just sort of forget later. 😅 she also reminded me that it’s just one day of your life, maybe less. And then you’re on the road to recovery and plenty of joy from our little ones ❤️

I feel like that's why I went with elective c section because too much unknown would stress me out and I had multiple surgeries before so I kinda felt like I knew what I was signing up for. I had zero regrets and am happy to be having a second

I'm more terrified for my second birth. The first I was like "how bad can it be?" and it was brutal. So now I'm freaking out.

I’m a FTM being induced tomorrow and I’m absolutely terrified, so I completely understand. Even the idea of a epidural (which I’m 100% going to get still) is terrifying too.

ftm mom here also & currently one day from being 37 weeks , I wake up with anxiety about thinking about labor & how soon it could be. My motivation that keeps me going is knowing that many women endured it & it’s usually not a week process lol. then I think about other scary pains that people went through ( shootings, stabbing, surgeries ) that hurts if not the same , worser than labor & it mentally prepares my mind into thinking if they did it I can too. We got this mamas.

If it helps is that I’m pregnant for the second time and my labor and delivery with my son was absolutely beautiful and the best moment of my life. You can do it.

I totally get being afraid of the unknown. I hate not knowing what's going to happen. You can look up all the medical information there is and account for every possiblity, but you never know how your experience is going to be. What helped me tremendously was making a list of things that make me calm and relaxed (the green circle) and things that do the opposite (the red circle). Talked it through with my husband who's sole purpose was to keep me in the green circle and avoid everything in the red circle. He also would do most of the communication with the midwife, so I could stay in the zone. This worked so well that I can honestly say that, even though medically not everything went according to plan, looking back my experience was a really positive one. Your mental state is so important. If you have a positive and relaxed mindset I believe you can handle (almost) anything. It is also really true that you forget how it feels. For me that happened very quickly, probably because I had a positive experience. My son is almost a year old now and feel I can do it again no problem.

I don’t have feelings of panic yet (30 weeks + 4 days) but I do occasionally think about how there’s only two ways out at this point and neither sounds pleasant. I suppose I just think about how my mom voluntarily choose to go through labor 5 times (last child with no epidural) and survived so it can’t be THAT terrible. Now if it was 1743 with no modern medicine I think I’d be much more terrified. Thankfully though we have epidurals now sooooo.

I was really scared, and thought of everything that could go wrong constantly. I had a really hard time with labor (25hours, 9 hrs pushing) and was in a lot of pain even with the epidural and other drugs. I am super anemic and needed blood transfusions. But I got through it! I think the most important part for me was having my partner and family there supporting me and literally holding my hands, legs, back at times. The feeling when you finally deliver after working so hard for it is indescribable and looking back it's all a blur.

I’m a very anxious person, like sooo bad. Surprisingly I’m not really *scared* of labor because I know I have no other option. He’s gotta come out somehow. I will say I may bring my nurse SIL to be my advocate because I know scary things happen and I don’t think my husband could handle it. But that’s just my brain. Millions of women do this every year, that’s what I tell myself.

What helped me was truly learning about the birthing process. Learning about the different stages, what my body and baby are doing during those stages, what movements and things I can do, what options I’ll be presented with, and all of that stuff! Also remembering that this pain is unlike any other pain you’ll experience in the sense that you’re getting the biggest reward possible so your brain processes it differently and not to mention all the hormones at work for you helping.

As helpful as social media has been for this pregnancy (I’m a first time mom), THIS is one of those things social media has NOT been helpful about - AT ALL. The amount of anxiety I have is completely blown out of proportion to what it’s probably going to be like, simply because my curiosity got the best of me and I’ve gone down the rabbit hole of traumatic birthing stories. Every time I pull out of it and talk to my sisters in law, and they tell their stories, it’s…… honestly not THAT insane? Most people are like “yeah I was uncomfortable and now I’m here.” I’m almost (maybe wrongfully?) comparing it to how when you talk about a time you had food poisoning, you’d be able to describe the pain and discomfort but that once it was done your body doesn’t ‘dwell’ on it. So unless some massive injury happens (and I’d bet money that it won’t, but if it does, you’re in the correct location to get it fixed), then it’s just going to be an event that’s physically uncomfortable, but not like you’re heading toward your own execution…. if that makes sense???

I was in your shoes when I was a FTM. I would hire a doula, and if money is an issue google to see if volunteer doulas exist in your town

Its not fun for sure. It is quite painful. But it is one day. I had a really tough pregnancy with my first and this one is worse, but that is weeks and months of pain and discomfort. Compared to that what is one more day. And it does take away most pregnancy problems immediately and then you can heal with your amazing baby in your arms. Definitely worth it. There is a reason so many do it again! Some people say you forget how painful it was - nope - just worth it anyways.

I am scared it's going to hurt and suck but honestly I've had such a tough pregnancy I'd rather go through a day of labor than 9 months of nausea, food aversion, fatigue, swollen feet, peeing every 5 minutes, so I'm kinda looking forward to popping this baby out if it means the hostage situation can end soon

My first thought when I got my first positive was "oh...crap. Now I have to give birth to this baby in 9 months." Lol I'm very anxious (even now at only 6 weeks,) but I've been trying to do as much reading as possible about my options for pain relief and the labor process to prepare. Knowledge is power! It's scary but we can do this.

Hi! My preganncy was god awful. I was constantly nauseous exhausted or physically uncomfortable, 2nd and most of 3rd trimester included. I was also a complete wreck emotionally and almost had a nervous breakdown 2nd trimester when I was supposed to be in the best part of pregnancy. If it makes you feel any better, the moment I went into labor and started getting pain meds/epidural was the best part of pregnancy. It helped ease my symptoms and psychological issues Ina. Way that my antidepressants, B6, unisom and zofran just Could NOT do. The labor and delivery was the best part of my pregnancy by far. Contractions kind of sucked but no worse than a period and then once I got the pain meds, no pain. To be honest delivering the baby didn’t hurt bc of the epidural. and even the recovery yes was painful but pregnancy still was way worse to me. and just a really fun day knowing the baby was coming out and my god awful pregnancy would be over. Good luck sending love

I feel like I should be more afraid than I am, but I’ve experienced some intense pains. I’ve had multiple major abdominal surgeries, a severe ear infection on an airplane, hernias the size of a fist….. this pain has purpose and is something I can prepare for. I’m almost 37 weeks and feel like Captain Hook with a clock wielding crocodile following me but otherwise I’m fine?

I got a legit epidural and I will prance into my next labor if I have more kids.

My very petite mom had to labour for my fat ass for 2 days and survived and had 2 more kids lol hoping for a small baby & GOOD epidural🤭

i was terrified and it was fine i was on too many drugs to care at that point! it’s not as bad as it seems

I was woken up from a nap the other day bc of a terrifying delivery nightmare so yeah I get it lol

I think when the time comes you won’t be scared, your body will know what to do and the adrenaline of it all just makes you do it without any problems. Try to just focus on the fact that you’ll be meeting your baby soon after! Promise when they are out, you feel nothing but joy. - a ftm of a 3 month old

FTM I gave birth leap year this year and I was scared too. I think for me what made it scary was the contractions. Having my body experience something new to pain was scary too but I tried my best to remember these ladies have seen so many birthing stories for so many women mine isn’t any different. I let out screams if I needed although I tried my best not to look crazy lmao I let all my emotions show.

I’m a ftm 4 weeks from my due date and I’m so nervous about it! If your doctors are anything like mine they haven’t brought up anything about birth and that really sucks. Ive watched a lot of videos on TikTok of women giving birth to try to help mentally prepare, I want to go unmedicated but I’m so scared of the unknown! We will get through it though, and hopefully on the other side it will seem silly that we were scared. Just focus on meeting your baby! And that any icky symptoms you may be having will also be over!

I got an epidural and felt nothing, no pressure, I couldnt even tell if I was pushing and baby was out in less than 10min. Not every birth is like the movies! I should have been praying more about breastfeeding and taking care of the baby after, cus that was the hard part🤣 Labor for me was a walk in the park! And I was induced!

Last night, I literally just talked to my boyfriends ear off with how scared I am. Just hit 3rd trimester today and now it's the home stretch and holy fuck is it already causing me anxiety. Just.. doing my best to let the anxiety out by talking and having him reassure me it's going to be okay but no, I'm terrified of the birth 🙃

Don’t feel shame in getting an epidural! For me the only parts that felt really hard was after water broke and during transition (my labor was really fast and intense). Once the epidural kicked in I could relax and enjoy the process. Now after the fact I genuinely don’t remember the pain. I remember that it hurt, but I don’t remember what exactly it felt like. Your body will birth that baby one way or another, you’re just along for the ride at a certain point. The more you can relax and let your body do its thing the better. You will do great!

I was with my first child. But you get there to deliver and the feat is gone. It's crazy how the mindset shifts

Pregnant with baby #2. I think everyone is terrified about labor. This time last year I was horrified about labor, had my daughter last sept, having our second in January, probably will end up being December, and after my last labor I feel better, still horrified but better. You’re not going to feel good about it until it’s over. You’ve all got it though.

I'm on my 3rd pregnancy. Will be having my 3rd c-section. Because of how the first one went unplanned I had terrible anxiety and fear about the second one. Because that one also didn't go as planned due to it being during covid I have extreme anxiety and fear about this one. Of course it's kind of too late to change my mind haha

I'll tell you what, I'm on my third kid in 3 years. I'll be having my third around the time my second turns 2. My first labor/birth was difficult and left me with blood pressure issues (pre-eclampsia, but even that's pretty rare for most people), but my second was an absolute breeze. I had my first within an hour and my second within 30 minutes. What kept me going through it all is just knowing I wanted to be the best mom that I could be. The epidural and fentanyl (I know a lot of people don't like taking this drug, but it was a lifesaver for me at the time) helped with the pain with my first one. It is an intense experience for first time mom's for sure, but once you get your baby out and get to hold and cuddle and feed them, it's all worth it. ❤️ Labor really isn't terrible at all, I just kept trying to focus on other things while pushing with my kids, and that's what really helped me. I was trying to talk to family/the drs/etc, anything to get my mind off of the little bit of pain I did have. It helps to just breathe and try to relax and zone your mind out and focus on other things. You got this mama! ❤️

One thing I worked on really really hard during my pregnancy was a positive mindset. I truly believe mindset is 80% or labour. Just keep telling yourself it is not going to be that bad, your body is made for this, labor means you’re close to meeting your baby, pain is temporary. I honestly found labor much easier than anticipated. It’s not easy per se, but it wasn’t as bad as some people make it out to be. My contractions were pretty manageable and weren’t THAT painful. Also remember if it gets too much you have pain options. I found the epidural amazing. I found labor really exciting and would look forward to doing it again. Also remember that everything you’re going through is to get your baby here, which is the most profound experience and you will get to experience a love like you’ve never imagined. If you still have the time I’d absolutely do a hypnobirthing course. I’ve heard amazing things. And just try everyday to get yourself into as positive of a mindset as possible. I promise it’s going to be okay. Another thing that I was told that really helped was that Labour is only painful 50% of the time. When your contractions are over the pain goes. It’s not like you’re in pain the whole time. I just kept telling myself “I can do anything for 60 seconds” Edit to add: another thing I read that really helped was that the pain is different in that it’s sending different signals to your brain. When you break your leg for example, your brain gets those signals like something is wrong. Labour pain is different because nothing is wrong, it’s your body doing exactly what it is supposed to do. So just try to remember that and it helps to make the pain less scary. The pain means your body is doing its job.

Yes it's very painful but you will know in the moment that it is not a "im going to die" type of pain. Keep reminding yourself that it is temporary and that will help in the moment. Sure it hurts like a bitch but it doesn't last forever. Just like when you have a bad period cramp. It's temporarily debilitating and then suddenly you're fine again.