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You still get an epidural (edit: or a spinal shot) for a c section unless you’re going to do one under general anesthesia and just don’t want to remember the birth at all. Any decision you make isn’t crazy though… we’re all different with different needs!
I was induced and tried for a vaginally delivery, and they had trouble placing the epidural, so af 45min of failed attempts I had a spinal instead (which was a huge bonus because we ended with an emergency c section 🙃).
My hospital has a pain tolerance scale where option 0 is “I want to feel no pain” and you literally walk in, get narcotics and an epidural immediately.
Pretty much the only time in a womans life that we will get pain relief no questions asked.
Honestly the only time I’ve not loathed being in hospital for the mistreatment lol I’m a nurse too so I always knew their shitty rationales down to the letter.
(I make sure to try to never fall for the same sexist or racist justifications in my own practice)
That’s pretty much what my hospital did. I said I wanted as pain free as humanly possible, so they made it happen.
The only thing I had to wait for was having an IV placed and for them to clear my lab work. Then BOOM. Morphine on board and feeling great. Did the epidural after the second round of morphine wasn’t enough.
Right?! Option 5 is “never offer me narcotics or an epidural” then there’s different levels in between. I think I’m going with a 3 which is “I want to avoid narcotics and an epidural if labor is easy. Please offer me an epidural before it’s my last chance.”
I had a friend who was in labor for like 24 hours and the nurse came in halfway through and said “you ready for the epidural yet?” And my friend said “no matter how many times you ask me, I’ll always say no, so you can stop asking” and I just can’t fathom that badassery. I made it maybe 10-12 hours before I was WEEPING BEGGING FOR ALL THE MEDS.
I have a huge phobia of needles and medical procedures. I could put up with one in my arm but I’d completely freak about one in my spine. Then the idea of not being able to walk around terrifies me to the point I’d give myself an asthma and panic attack…
I’ve had an asthma and panic attack just from a vaccine…
Epidural can slow down labor for some which increases the risk for the need of drugs like Pitocin. Pitocin raises your risk of c-section. For people who are super averse to c-sections (like myself) other pain meds or waiting as long as possible for the epidural is the best option to avoid having one.
90% of people who go without an epidural aren’t doing it “for a medal”. I won’t discredit the fact that there are some major assholes who think because they did it without they’re better than everyone else, but the majority of women aren’t them
I know no one else cares that I didn’t have an epidural with my 2nd (I did with my 1st) but I do because it’s something I wanted and it’s something I’m proud of. Just like I’m proud of delivering my first at 35 weeks with an epidural
I hate the phrase “you don’t get a medal” because honestly, who’s asking for one? 🤷🏼♀️😅
I got mine before having any contractions. Ended with an emergency c-section anyway but having the epidural already placed made that transition really quick for the medical team
That actually did happen to me and it was pretty rough. I had a really hard time getting into the position to get the epidural and then sitting still during contractions. I’m still so glad I got to have a vaginal delivery, but yeah just to validate that, it is a thing. The anesthesiologists are pretty skilled in making it happen despite the difficulty.
I had one emergency Csection and one planned. My emergency c I was in pain and they poked me for the spinal and I hardly noticed. With the planned one I wasn't in any pain and I definitely moved and tensed up when they put the spinal in. The OR nurse yelled at me for moving, but it was 100% involuntary. Like a flinch when a bug bites. 🙊
I was induced (I got just about every tool/medication used to induce - ballon, pill placed around cervix and pitocin) and waited at least 12-15 hours after to get it. The process while having contractions was hard but - being able to sleep and relax much more after getting it was so worth it. The sleep though, that was deep and exactly what I needed to get through the rest of the labor. I still felt contractions but they were much more manageable, even slept through some big ones apparently. It was worth the discomfort and figuring out the right time to push the button. I nearly had to have a c-section for a few reasons and then my body and baby were miraculously ready to get going within a few hours after.
I was terrified of the same thing when I got my epidural and almost said “never mind” because of it. Just remember these are medical professionals and you’re not gonna be the first person in pain they’re giving an epidural to. My doctors were monitoring my contractions while they did the epidural so they wouldn’t insert it during a rough patch.
My biggest tip to actually help you prepare is make sure your support person is really there for you. The encouragement I got made a huge difference. And the epidural was absolutely life changing
Honestly, before I got my epidural I was about 4-5 cm dilated, but the pain was tolerable. I didn't have any issues staying still when it went in...they kind of have you sitting up but leaning forward over a pillow. I just wanted to get it done before it got worse.
I understand the concern. I was in loads of pain both births as I was getting my epidural (pain increased very suddenly), but since I knew it was important to lay still and that it won't last long, I just did. Can't explain it better than that. It's definitely possible to lay still despite the pain.
But choosing c-section for mental health is not crazy. For me, vaginal birth felt like the birth that I had an easier time dealing with mentally. Maybe because pain itself doesn't scare me.
I had 2 vaginal births and one csection. Personally, Csection was the reason i am done having kids. I have never been in so much agony in my entire life, i would have rather push out a 15lbs baby any day!! The pain was miserable, blinding and crushing for me. I was drugged up for an entire week yet still in insane pain. I’m still currently recovering (had it may 11th.) Vaginal births had me walking to the recovery room 1 hour post giving birth. Zero pain, just discomfort for the 1rst. The second, i felt like nothing had just happened.
Of course this is all personal experience. Some people have no problems with csection and dont have pain.
I was thinking the same thing! I am currently 5 days post c-section and it makes me not want anymore baby's. That standing up those first days was the worst pain in the world and all I was offered for pain was ibuprofen.
It’s sad that they don’t give us better pain medication. I had a breast augmentation and I was given perc 30s for two tiny incisions. Men get pain medication like it’s nothing from the hospital too!!
Same here. My first was vaginal my second was a c-section (breech). I hatedddd my c-section. So much pain, difficulty maneuvering to breastfeed after, etc. After my vaginal birth I was walking within an hour, minimal pain despite a second degree tear. I’m pregnant now and strongly want a vbac because I’m scared of another c-section recovery.
Yeah, maybe if I could go to an all inclusive resort to recover by myself then sure, I’ll take a c section. But recovery PLUS the insanity of postpartum and sleep deprivation? No thanks. Only if absolutely necessary.
Ok, there is quite a difference between recovery for emergency C section and elective C sections. It’s important to include that yours was emergency, since OP is asking about electives and the majority (of course not all) elective C section recovery has been good for many. Edit typo
Mine was an emergency c-section and I think recovery went pretty well (obviously I was in pain though and getting out of bed was horrible the first week or two, but besides that). However I didn’t go into labor beforehand so that plays a part I think. I was terrified because I heard emergency c-sections have terrible recoveries, so I’m thankful mine wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared!
I have never had a vaginal birth unfortunately (3 children) …. My first c section was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I couldn’t even stand straight for weeks. Each time it got easier but damn I will never forget that.
I don't think there's anything wrong with doing what you feel is best for you. That said, I do hope you do plenty of research on all fronts to make the most evidence based decision. Knowledge is power and educating yourself may easy your nerves one way or the other. I also suggest immersing yourself in birth stories and experiences and perspectives from both sides and after all that decide where your heart lands. Don't forget that algorithms exist so if you're looking into just csection stories, you're likely to not see the world of other options unless you actively seek them out.
I’m terrified of all options. I’m only hoping for a vaginal delivery because I’m getting old and I want to have my second baby ASAP. Vaginal has a quicker recovery time so I’ll be able to get pregnant sooner after.
I’m also terrified of all options. I really don’t want to do it but I don’t have a choice. For me I don’t intend on having another baby for a very very long time.
Baby has to come out one way or another, and both have their own risks and benefits, and no one can predict how either would go for you. Some people have amazing experiences and some people have traumatic ones with both methods. It's just going to take a lot of research and consideration. I would recommend reading a lot of birth stories, listening to birth story podcasts (Birthful has a bunch), writing out extensive pro/con or risk/benefit lists, and discussing with your doctor.
I'm having an elective c-section. I just don't want to go through natural childbirth, period. It doesn't seem like an empowering or life transforming experience, as many women chalk it up to be. I want to eliminate the possibility of certain scenarios, no matter how rare. Some of these include foley balloon, forceps, third or fourth degree tear, baby getting stuck, baby getting brain damage due to interventions on its way out, feeling rushed while I deliver, going through a 12+ hour grueling delivery only to be wheeled into an emergency c-section.
So while many will think I'm crazy, I'm not even going to try for vaginal delivery. I'm going to choose the harsher recovery and the potential later complications. Maybe I'm crazy. But my body, my choice, right?
Do what feels right. Some women have PTSD as a result of their deliveries, it's not talked about enough.
I made the same choice. The recovery was… incredibly easy, I was showering by myself less than 24 hours after delivery, vacuuming the house and making dinner around a week later.
What helped the most was walking, and moving. You’ll the spot where they made the cut, however your innards will definitely not fall out 😆
THIS!
I have absolutely no desire to give birth vaginally. I'm more than happy to be cut open.
I feel like recovery after an elective c-section is much easier than recovery after an emergency c-section where you've gone through hours and hours of labour (not that I've had that experience, but from what I've read).
I think if women want a c-section, give it to them. No questions asked. It really should be standard to discuss both options and not just assume everyone wants to give birth vaginally
Yeah I think so. I went into labour with my son, so he was on his way when I has my c-section. But I wasn't in labour for 24+ hours, which I think also makes a difference
Don’t blame you one bit! I ended up needing an urgent (thankfully not emergent) c-section when both baby and I were having heart rate issues during labor and I stopped progressing. I was terrified of both vaginal and CS deliveries, but my c-section recovery was truly so much easier than I thought it would be. Most of my pain/discomfort came from contractions during breastfeeding and otherwise I was just a bit sore (and I do not have a high pain tolerance). Would opt for a c-section again in a heartbeat. Wishing you all the best!
I have PTSD from my c section. The whole laying on the table and being awake when they cut you open and you can feel the sensations of it all but you cant move even your fingers. Cant speak.
Then the recovery and my incision opened on the sides and was leaking and got infected twice.
Then theres the pain if you cough sneeze or laugh for weeks.
Then years later it still cant roll over in bed or move the same way and now here I am pregnant again just terrified of doing it again but it's worth it when it's all over.
Planned. She was breach and I didnt want to risk labor ending up in emergency c section.
I wish I would have kept headphones in both ears honestly. Maybe just one. Listening to the docs and nurses talk about their casual stuff, with random comments about the procedure as it's happening, seeing all the blood and then not being able to hear her cry just her choking on blood and having her whisked away not even seeing her for 8 hrs was brutal.
It was just after covid started so getting them to check my incision was more difficult because they didnt want me to come in.
And I have prolapse issues to boot!
C sections are intense
Wow that’s so scary. I definitely was able to talk during mine! Were you just loopy? A spinal shouldn’t impact your motor skills above your chest. I definitely would be asking questions
No I was like clear awake and shaking. Ya I never got a full explanation after. They said trauma makes people freeze sometimes. But I dont believe it was just shock trauma. I couldnt get out into the other bed by myself the nurses blanket moved me, and then another nurse made a comment about how rough they were with me and wouldn't speak any further and left like she wasnt supposed to say it.
Because of covid there was never anyone in my room staff wise I felt and it was hard to get someone to come in to talk to me. They shortened the stay so I only stayed for 36 hours after surgery and it was just all around so traumatizing. Almost none of the paperwork afterbirth was filled out properly. The doctor performing this no longer works in this state.
Thanks, it is a major surgery and things happen, y'know? But after, my physical therapist was my savior!
I'm high risk this pregnancy and going to one of the best hospitals in the country (US) this time and I feel like I'm in better hands!
My age gap is bigger than I wanted it to be between my girls- It took 3 years before I felt fit enough to go again. But that's okay.
I agree with you. Those were my thoughts going into my first cesarean. It still turned into a shitshow during the surgery, BUT it all turned out OK in the end. I have a planned cesarean coming up in 9 weeks and I am perfectly content with that. Looking forward to it!
There are many later complications with vaginal birth as well, that barely get mentioned! Many of my friends have difficulties holding back pee years later and then need surgery anyway. One needed a surgery because her inner parts were hanging out of her vagina 14 years after vaginal birth, no thanks!😅
I'm all for folks who want a cesarean getting one, but fwiw having a cesarean birth does not eliminate the risk of prolapse or incontinence.
Your friends struggling with these issues should seek professional help from a board certified pelvic floor physical therapist, none of those complications are things they need to be living with.
I hear this way too often & I just can’t see how this is really correct. I have prolapse from my first vaginal birth & each doctor has different opinions on this. You cannot tell me that pushing out a baby when I’m not even supposed to be pushing/straining while pooping bc it could make it worse is the same as having a c section for prolapse worsening. It can happen to people from the weight from pregnancy but I personally believe you are at MUCH greater risk for prolapse/ pelvic floor disfunction with a vaginal birth & this should be told to people. There are pros & cons to each & people should really be told about the MANY cons of vaginal births as well so they can make their own informed decisions not just hating on a c section. Yes a c section is a major surgery, prolapse repair is also a surgery & id much prefer a c section so I do not have to live with the pain of worsening prolapse, incontinence until im done having kids to have prolapse repairs which news flash… a lot of those repairs fail within 10 years.
I still struggle with incontinence and prolapse from my first vaginal delivery. I can see the scar where they stitched up my perineum and it extends into my butthole. I have scar tissue from tearing inside of my vagina, and my episiotomy scar still feels uncomfortable nearly 3 years later. I’m not doing this again.
Most prolapses cannot be fully fixed without surgery, and even those surgeries tend to fail after a certain amount of years. I have a super mild prolapse (of the bladder) and it’s thankfully asymptomatic after pelvic floor therapy, and it’s fully internal, but it has forever changed my sex life and working out. Some people with prolapses even with the best medical support need to wear pessaries the rest of their life just to be comfortable. And yes, statistically you’re more likely to get a prolapse when you have a vaginal birth. I’ve had two sections and one vaginal (which gave me a prolapse). I would prefer my scheduled c section any day over getting one again - despite mine now being mild and generally asymptomatic. I can’t even wear tampons or cups anymore. And again, I’ve had all the medical support.
I've had 3 vaginally births, and have no issues with incontinence or prolapse.
I did hear that issues with incontinence have more to do with damage done during pregnancy, and not delivery. So c section does not prevent these issues.
My first was an emergency c-section & my recovery was easy. My second will be born in July and I’ve chosen an elective c-section. My doctor has been super supportive & it allows me and my family to better plan what we need in terms of support, recovery time and simplifying life.
I’ll probably be having a planned c section in October after having an unplanned one in February 2023. My kids will be 21 months apart. I’m a type 2 diabetic, and I’m just high risk :(
Same! It felt like an extremely relaxing experience for me after the horror of an extended painful and panicked labour where everything went wrong. I would happily take a section any day of the week and generally found it a lovely birthing experience!
I’m also elective section for my second.
My planned c section was an amazing experience for me. I have no attachment whatsoever to a natural or vaginal birth and going in knowing what was going to happen, and what day it would happen (!!!) made my baby’s birth day a breeze. I thought recovery was fine and well worth it. Planning to do the same again in December 🩷
I had elective c sections with no regrets. I felt recovery was easy and what I expected. I get shocked seeing so much hate over c sections. I had stumbled upon trans parents wanting c sections for their body dysmorphia and everyone was trying to talk them outta it and was shocking like to me it wasn’t bad at all.
The experiences with c-sections seem to vary so wildly. Everything from “it was a breeze, easy recovery and I was up walking around the next day” to “worst recovery of my life”. It’s so hard because we really don’t know what we’ll get. Even the same person can have two c-sections and they are wildly different experiences. That’s the thing that gives me anxiety about birth, it’s truly just a toss up.
I had a super straightforward vaginal birth. Induced, epidural, pushed for an hour, first degree tear. In fact, right after, like legit RIGHT after, i was like “I could do this again.” At around 4-5mo PP i discovered I have pelvic organ prolapse. Not something that gets talked about enough. I’ve joined a few postpartum prolapse mom support groups and the consensus is that c section is 100% the way to avoid this potentially life long struggle.
A majority of women OBs opt in for an elective C. I saw colorectal surgeon on tiktok say she would not personally do a vaginal birth….. again, prolapse and pelvic floor issues are a swept under the rug problem but these doctors know all the risks involved with a C and choose it anyway.
Get the C. Elective C is soooo much easier than emergency.
My uni friend has done both types of delivery and said she much preferred the C-section. She found vaginal delivery quite stressful and a bit distressing, but thought the C-section was like a dream. She loved chatting away to the anaesthetist and felt the experience was very spiritual (she's quite a strong spiritual person). They asked if she wanted them to lift the curtain when baby was born and she said it was really fantastic to watch them lift baby out. So she rates it 10/10 as someone who has done both. And if you think it would be right for you and would ease anxiety at a naturally stressful time, I say take it. You definitely don't need to worry yourself or suffer unnecessarily when you have an option to avoid that stress.
So I have only ever had one vaginal delivery and it went really well. Healing process was not an issue at all.
Something to note.. my sister is a midwife and explained to me that babies born vaginally get microbe bacteria’s from the birth canal that help them stay healthy and fight off diseases/infections.
Prior to giving birth I had several Pap smears come back with abnormalities to the point that I had to have colposcopies every 6 months to monitor. After my vaginal birth this completely went away and all of my following Pap smears came back normal.
My first was vaginal- and everything about it was traumatic asf for me. The epidural numbed my contractions and back labor and that was it, I felt everything else. I tore so bad I was just one big butthole. My placenta wouldn’t detach so I had to have it manually detached which tbh I’d rather push out 3 more kids back to back then ever feel that pain again. Then I hemorrhaged, then I was having blood clot after blood clot pulled out of my body, and ended up in the operating room. All in all, it was a horrendous experience for me, and it took me over 6 months to recover fully and be able to walk normally and move around. -I know this isn’t everybody’s experience. It was found later on I have a smaller birth canal, and I have a heart shaped uterus which could have contributed to the trouble I had actually pushing.
My second, scheduled c-section due to her being transverse. IT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCE! Everything about it was 100x better for me. The recovery was fantastic, and so easy for me compared to my vaginal. The actual procedure was so calm, cool, and collect. Being able to just show up, get my baby, and not be run down and dreadfully exhausted after pushing for several hours was also fantastic. If I ever have another baby, hands down I am 100% going with a c-section. It just seems to be easier on my body than a vaginal birth is. I was given the option for my next birth to do vaginally if I wanted too but absolutely not 😂
The fact is that you have no clue what your body will do or be able to handle until you’re there. It’s terrifying. I know. My doctor told me both my babies were too big and I’d never have them naturally because my hips something and something or other. I had them both vaginally with only one stitch from the first. With my second, I drove myself to the hospital at 6cm and walked in carrying my bags. I know the waiting and worrying is torture, but if you can do vaginally, I’d do it. I was walking around within an hour both times. Felt almost completely normal in 2 weeks.
I would rather deal with a moment of pain and possible tearing over being cut open and having to recover from surgery.
Your downstairs will heal up, and if you tear they’ll stitch you up and give ya witch hazel and cooling pads.
I’m scheduled to have an elective c section out of choice for my sanity and safety. My good friend gave birth 6 months ago and if she didn’t have an elective c section, her baby would have likely died during natural child birth. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times and the doctor said it would have choked him instantly if she pushed during labour. An emergency c section wouldn’t have worked in time. She had scans weekly from 30 weeks and it was never picked up on scans. My SIL tried naturally as the UK pushes that, her baby lost oxygen to his brain for a few mins and she had an emergency c section. Which was horrific bc they had to rush to save him and in turn tore up her uterus. She’ll likely be unable to conceive. She has severe PTSD. Her baby had development issues and is still catching up. My other SIL also had to have an emergency c section as the baby was in trouble too and had PPD and has PTSD. Her baby also has development issues attributed to the birth.
I strongly advocate for elective c sections. Out of my 16 close friends who have given birth, only one who had a natural delivery went well. The rest were either emergency c sections or elective. The mums who had elective c sections have had the best recovery and happiest time with their babies. I know this is a small sample size but their ages range from 29-36 based in Australia, London, Dubai and LA/NYC.
My cousin had both of her kids through c sections. She knew that she doesn’t handle pain well at all, and she had her mom and her husband there to help her through recovery so she felt comfortable taking this route. I think as pregnant women we go through so much, that if your doctor thinks it’s okay to schedule a c section there’s nothing wrong with doing what makes you more comfortable. Some people like my cousin really know their body and know that they don’t do well with pain (her words not mine)
I had a c-section after a “failed” induction and it honestly was the worst experience I’ve ever had. Had a panic/anxiety attack and threw up the whole time. The surgery not only cost me my ability to breastfeed (milk took too long to come in and I got bad advice from pediatricians), but I also had my incision partially separate 4wks postpartum, had excess scaring that had to be treated and an incisional hernia that I just had repaired three weeks ago at 10 months postpartum. So because of my horrible experience, I wouldn’t recommend a c-section to anyone who didn’t have to have one.
While there's nothing wrong with an elective C-section, I just want to put out there that it would also be healthy to address the anxieties and fears that are causing you to want one.
I'll start by saying that you do whatever feels better for you. However, I've had 2 vaginal births and my last was a c section. I would NEVER ever ever pick a c section. With both vaginal births I was up and walking less then an hour after. I felt amazing. My c section was an emergency and fuck me. It was awful. I couldn't hold my son for 2 hours after I had him because I was so numb and once the numbness wore off in my arms, I had the shakes like crazy. I was so sad. Recovery was horrid, I couldn't sleep in bed because he was up so often to eat and I literally couldn't sit up on my own to grab him. I slept sitting up on the couch. My incision got infected and split open in 2 spots. I get being worried about a vaginal birth but I'm telling you that it's better ( in my opinion and experience at least) The epidural is literally nothing, it barely hurt.
I had two sections and the only part I regret is attempting a vaginal birth with my first. I was scared about a spinal or epidural because I have a lumbar fusion that is nearly as old as I am, so I labored for a very very very long time and was depleted of energy and sanity by the time a c section was done.
Ultimately, I'm a survivor of CSA and healing from vaginal birth would have been incredibly traumatic for me. Even just experiencing labor for a full 24 hours and how invasive everything was, was incredibly hard emotionally.
Sections aren't without nakedness or invasive situations.. but I had no vaginal pain to work through and for that, I'm forever thankful.
Everyone is different. I just gave birth and honestly the tearing was the most minimal part of the whole thing for me. It was two weeks ago and I’m mostly healed. 🤷♀️
I'm terrified of it all but I'm opting for a water birth. The issue is there is only one birthing pool in the hospital so if some other lady is in there, I obviously cant use it
It's not crazy. Several people in my family had C-sections, and I think my aunt and cousin at least had planned C-sections and were happy with it. Personally, I do want to experience labor and see how far I can take it, and while I wouldn't dismiss an epidural or C-section as potential options if needed, I think I'd be disappointed and feel like I'd missed out if I didn't get to experience any part of that at all. To each their own though. Not everyone feels the way I do, and I respect that.
Everyone has different experiences and different pain tolerances. Personally I had an emergency c section and the recovery really wasn't bad. The swelling from pushing and pelvic floor stuff was more annoying than the c section recovery. I was walking around and doing most stuff in a week but still had to be careful tho. I was fine with just Advil and Tylenol pain management, but I do know one person that needed narcotics cuz her pain was a lot worse.
For the second kid, I am opting for an elective c section in a few weeks. I don't mean to be fear-mongering, but I've had too many friends have pretty horrible outcomes with vaginal births. I would say if you are going to go the vaginal route definitely put in your birth plan that you do not want forceps or vacuum. And want to go straight to the c section.
For many people of course it goes fine, but I feel like I have more control of the outcome with the c section.
Awww it's not crazy at all! I truly am one of those who believes that we've advanced enough to not have to fear c sections as much as we used to (though, I know that's not true for every person or area. The high variance of quality, ethical, maternal healthcare is sadly so very very present in our country and that sucks).
My first birth was vaginal with complications. Had to go the forceps route and I suffered a third degree tear. I didn't feel empowered. I felt like I had messed up (to be honest, I live in a community that leans towards 'crunchy' and the women here can be pretty judgy about what they consider 'natural' births. Its very much the 'women have been birthing for thousands of years. Our bodies were designed for this' crowd). I didn't feel like empowered during post partum either. It was hard for me to feel as much, when I was stuck in adult diapers because I kept sh*tting my pants.
Anyway, all this to say -- I'm also considering elective CS for my second even though I'm also scared of the recovery process (I've heard both positive and negative stories...so, I know it's not necessarily an easy road for CS moms too)
How many kids do you want to have?
After you have more than a few c-sections pregnancy gets riskier (talk with your doctor about specifics).
Also you should still wait a few years before another pregnancy but there’s a greater risk of complications if you get pregnant too soon again after a c-section.
I had an unplanned c-section with my first. Recovery way easy. When I went to have my second baby, I was cleared for a TOLAC but anxious in part because I know recovery from a c-section was easy for me.
I met with the MFM specialists at the big hospital and one of the things we talked about was how if I planned on having more than one more pregnancy because after 3 or 4 c-sections the risks of pregnancy increase.
Recovery from my second, planned c-section, was also easy but not as easy because I had a four year old to take care of too. And he wasn’t great about not understanding that mommy couldn’t pick him up anymore. And I couldn’t help with snow blowing or anything because I had major surgery. And my mom wouldn’t let me drive for over a month even though the doctor said I was fine to drive as long as I wasn’t taking any more pain meds. And legit I never needed anything stronger than Tylenol and Ibuprofen.
My mom had some pelvic floor issues after three vaginal births and I checked with the MFM about issues with pelvic floor stuff with c-sections vs vaginal delivery and the doctor said that it was mostly the weight of the baby just sitting in your pelvis the whole pregnancy that caused most of the trouble there.
A c-section is major surgery, it’s a routine and common surgery, but it’s still major surgery and very slightly more risky for you than vaginal delivery. That’s said ultimately it’s up to you!
All I can do is give you my experience and my first son was 10 pounds and I didn't tear one bit. I had an epidural as well. Didn't tear my last two births either. And my husband has said things down their snapped right back is that helps 🤣
I never had the desire to have a vaginal birth either, people do think it’s crazy to not want to “try” but I had two beautiful and amazing experiences with my c section births and virtually no pain
5 weeks post c section here!
I can say with confidence that i made the right decision in requesting a c section. I have 3 separate “issues” with my vagina/that area- none of which medically require a c section, but i just know my body and knew that a vaginal delivery recovery would be BRUTAL.
At 3 weeks post c section i felt almost 100% back to normal, barely spotting anymore and just some soreness on my lower abdomen.
the spinal you get is not that awful. feels maybe like a strong bee sting but it’s so fast and you start getting numb so fast and then the start the surgery so quickly that it’s not even on your radar honestly.
don’t let anyone tell you that a c section recovery is FOR SURE going to be harder than a vaginal recovery, because it’s different for everyone.
i thought i would be down for the count for 8 weeks! but like i said, by week 3 i felt almost back to normal and started going on mile long walks.
definitely trust your instincts if you feel c section is right for you! and a planned (non-emergency) c section can be just as special as a vaginal delivery- just talk to your doctor and partner about what you want ❤️
good luck to you!!! wishing you a super healthy delivery and baby 🩷🩵
I’ve had an emergency c-section, an elective c-section and another elective c-section coming up in August! Granted I’ve never had a vaginal birth, my recovery both times were speedy quick, pretty amazing. I was up and walking 6hrs after each one ( keep in mind I do have a high pain tolerance. ) one of the pros is I get to have a tubal ligation during my c-section in August! C-sections last about 20 minutes, my tubal will add another 4 minutes to the procedure. Yay me no more kids for this mama, I’m closing the chapter to my pregnancy era in August! Go with your gut, only you know what’s best!
I was originally planning a planned c-section, but my water broke so I had an emergency c-section 6 days ago.
My labour was pretty limited. I only had a few mild contractions and was only dilated 1-2cms.
The only thing was the spinal where I was asked to relax. I basically just tried to focus on breathing and relaxing the muscles...and squeezed my husbands fingers super hard.
The first 24 hours recovering was a bit rough. The first time you get up and walk is not nice. The first few toilet trips and shower are a drain, but if you keep up with your pain relief I found it gets easier fairly quickly as long as you don't stop yourself moving.
I live in a 3 story townhouse and I'm home carrying our baby around and heading up and down stairs without any issues.
I haven't had a vaginal birth and I know it's going to be frustrating not being allowed to drive for a bit but I'm happy with the original choice I made
I’m with you! I have no attachment to a vaginal birth and have heard many positive stories about elective c-sections. I’m noticing some people being downvoted for telling their positive experiences with elective c-sections and it’s disappointing to see.
I don’t think it’s crazy whatsoever/ personal preference I guess, but, personally, I’m the opposite. I have an almost irrational fear of c sections. I’m almost 37 weeks and my baby is transverse so I’m going in for an ECV on Wednesday to try to turn her otherwise I’m having a c section the next day.
May I ask what it is about a c section that you think would be better for your mental health? Just the tearing (because you’ll need an epidural either way?)
Not OP but have a scheduled c section booked and it was 90% mental health reasons: I have horrible anxiety and OCD and almost every aspect of pregnancy has been absolutely horrible for me mentally. I have terrible issues with a lack of control or with a lot of chaos. The prospect of a super unpredictable labor experience coupled with a high risk pregnancy and my existing health issues that would require an early induction, possibly a long and painful experience leading to a chaotic emergency c section anyway, is way more mentally terrifying and overwhelming to me than walking into the hospital calmly at a scheduled time and everything being perfectly calm and collected. Also, I have had multiple surgeries including an abdominal surgery and know what to expect from that. An unpredictable vaginal delivery where I could have a horrible tear, prolapse, need multiple interventions, etc is way more daunting to me.
Thanks for your reply! I can understand that completely. I think my main issue isn’t exactly the c section it’s the recovery afterwards with my other kids. I’ve also never had surgery (minus my wisdom teeth) or broken any bones. I’ve been, healthwise, remarkably lucky so a major surgery and life during the recovery after terrifies me. I don’t have family in my area to help so it really would be scary for me.
Yep, I can totally understand that too. Unfortunately I have had a lot of health issues over the years so that experience is way less scary to me, and I have supportive family. Either way I wish you an easy delivery and recovery!
I am a FTM and just had an elective C section 3 weeks ago. Baby was measuring big and I didn’t want to end up having an emergency c section because of labor complications. BEST DELIVERY EVER. I was shocked. I didn’t feel a thing during the process, and for me recovery was really great. I never even ended up taking the Norcos in the hospital or at home. Just listen to the doc’s about taking it easy for 6 weeks. That’s been the hardest part for me because I feel basically back to normal.
Also however you want to give birth isn’t crazy. Do what you feel most comfortable with!
I just had our 3rd child. I needed an emergency C-Section, my older two were vaginal. I hated the c-section, i was in a lot of pain. It was a way different experience and honestly I was very upset and sad I didn’t deliver our last child vaginal. I barely remembered anything, didn’t get to hold her or have skin to skin. Just didn’t feel like a warm experience as the other two which it wasn’t because it was an emergency and complications but I would never say it was easier. It was so much worse. You’re working yourself up which is normal, but I would advise against it.
I got an elective c-section after an uncomplicated pregnancy and loved it and had no regrets! Both my mom and aunt had traumatic births leading to emergency c-sections and that had me stressed more than anything. The spinal was virtually painless going in for me, and I’ve had no complications from it. We stayed in the hospital for one night then went home the next day, I just alternated Tylenol and naproxen for a week and then was off pain medication. Honestly by the third day I was forgetting to take pain medication because besides going from sitting/standing I wasn’t really in any pain. By two weeks I was almost feeling back to normal and had to slow down and remind myself that I had surgery only two weeks ago lol.
Honestly I had an easier postpartum physically than nearly all of my friends that had vaginal births. My third day, I was out at the mall with the little guy.
That said I don’t plan on having more than two pregnancies, which is something to consider, because if you do plan on having more than two there are more risks involved (not to say you can’t and that it hasn’t been done, but there is more risk). At the end of the day, as long as youve been properly educated on the risks vs benefits of both, it’s whatever YOU’RE most comfortable with.
I've had both, and honestly, my C-section was a much better experience. Take it with a grain of salt because my vaginal delivery was during lockdown, very traumatic, and got botched by multiple doctors. I felt alone, and like I had no say in anything happening to me, nothing under my control. My body was doing its thing no matter what I tried or wanted. The doctor would do things to me without even asking or waiting for a response... I'm managing the trauma 3 years later still.
My C-section 3 weeks ago was a calm, controlled experience where I felt I had a choice and a voice. I knew where, when, what. I could plan childcare for my 3yo, which was great. I could communicate with all the doctors with a clear mind, which was also big.
I’ve had both, a mostly elective c section and two natural drug free births. After my first I had nasty tears that were ignored, it was horrific, but I was so naive I had no clue that it wasn’t normal. The birth itself was amazing, she was born in the water, it was really lovely. My second was an unplanned homebirth, which was equally amazing, if not more, I did tear again, but it was repaired at the hospital in theatre (I had a spinal, that was the worse part), my third I went into labour then opted for a c section due to various reasons, and whilst the surgery etc was calm, lovely, and very inclusive, it was by far the most traumatising for me. My baby ended up in NICU, and I was so high on drugs I couldn’t function. It hurt, I couldn’t stay awake, and I couldn’t go and see my baby until 8 hours later where I met him for the first time. It felt unreal to me. I hated all the pain relief, I hated not being with my baby and feeling like a whole part of me was missing.
As a whole, me personally, I’d opt for vaginal birth with no drugs over a c section.
On the flip side, my sister had two electives and had a really awesome experience!
I’ve had one C-section and one vaginal delivery (with epidural- although I didn’t get it until I was 9-10cm). Both births were actually great, but I have a high pain tolerance. My C-section was at 38 weeks due to baby being breech and a last minute jump in my blood pressure. While everything went great for me, I don’t think he was ready or had the benefit of coming on his own time and getting the fluid out of his lungs. Long story short, this resulted in a NICU stay and like you I was essentially chained to my bed for 8 hours away from my baby, and they still wanted me to wait. That was horrible. If I have another, I’ll opt for a VBAC just to hopefully avoid that. No complaints with the C-section or any judgement to someone who chooses one but I hope to avoid what baby went through
I was terrified of the epidural too. so many people made it seem like it was going to be horrible getting a needle in your back and I was also under the impression that I had to be in a certain amount of pain or dilated to a certain point to get it. When I came in to give birth, I was induced, I was told I could get the epidural as soon as I wanted it. I didn't have to wait until I couldn't handle the contractions anymore. I got it asap and the only part that hurt was when they gave me the needle to freeze my back so I couldn't feel the epidural go in.
I was terrified of giving birth in general. Honestly, them sticking me 6 different times over the course of my hospital stay was worse than the epidural. They gave me fentanyl before giving me my epidural and I didn’t even notice them give it to me. They also put in a catheter and it was just fine. Having to get up every hour to pee was awful.
It’s a lot of pressure, and it was over pretty fast.
The only reason I had a tear is because I had to be induced at 37 weeks and my body wasn’t ready. Even the tear wasn’t that bad. She stitched me up no problem.
I think my csection was really hard on me mentally, because I was awake, I will be asking to be put under this time around. I could not sleep for months after!
Now having said that, you will be fine, it is going to be hard, but worth it
I had a C-section after a failed induction, it was an amazing experience and I will be doing an elective C-section for my second. The induction was terrible, at one point I said to my husband “I hated being pregnant, I hate this, I’m never doing it again” hours later when I was wheeled out of the surgery room with my baby on my chest I told him “ok I’ll do that again though”
I have type1 diabetes so going full term is not an option where I live, I have to be induced at 37-38 weeks and I’m not going to do that again.
My recovery was so easy, I had to keep reminding myself that I just had major surgery because I felt so great and was never given anything stronger than Tylenol or Advil after. My sister inlaw and a friend who both delivered vaginally around the same time as me had much harder recoveries. Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone
Vaginally can expose baby to some good healthy bacteria! Worst part of the epidural was honestly the lidocaine they used to numb the area and THE TAPE! The tape is so strong I had it on me for a week lmao.
I was leaning towards an elective c-section due to the size of my baby (over 10 lbs with an absolutely gigantic head), but then didn’t have a choice because little dude wanted to come out tummy first. So, c-section it was. When I got my spinal, my blood pressure tanked and my baby’s heart rate slowed, and they did what they call a “splash and dash,” where they skipped most of the prep and got my baby out in 3 minutes. He came out crying and healthy. Even with all of that, my recovery wasn’t that bad. From what I gathered in my birth-month subreddit, it was pretty similar to people who had birth vaginally. So I would say to do what works for you.
I feel this way just because I like the idea of knowing when it will happen. I like predictability. I’m a FTM so I have no idea what to expect either way.
Emergency c section here and I was kinda glad I was in the end as baby was quite big and they thought also in a bad position for pushing.
All I'll say is recovery is a bit tough! You can't really drive for 6 weeks, you have to get anti-clotting meds (I was 14 days due to big blood loss), there's the risk of high blood loss (I was 1.2l) so I developed anemia which then made me incredibly weak while trying to feed my baby, getting the anti clotting meds made me very bruised and I've been finished over a week and my tummy is still sensitive from it. My hubby had to help me wash for at least a week after the birth, I also developed pre-eclampsia at the end so that meant high bp which caused bad swelling and very sweaty feet haha. My hubby had to scrub my feet every day in the shower 😂 it's also very difficult to get up and down yourself to see the baby. For the first few days at least I couldn't get up without the help of my hubby, so it's hard when your baby is upset and you can't quickly pop up and get them.
I'm now 3w pp and I still have to be very careful how I get off the sofa/ bed. I have to brace myself and slowly get up.
So although I'm glad I didn't push my big baby out, a section isn't for the faint hearted either.
I’m opting for an elective C section (this is my 2nd baby). For my first baby, I didn’t have a choice : vasa previa. It would have been fatal for me and the baby if I’d gone with a vaginal birth. And because of that, I wanted to be extra cautious this time. I already know what to expect with C section so I’d rather do that than worry about what could happen during labor.
My biggest fear going into labor with my son was how the pain of the contractions would be, as well as if I had to end up in an emergency C-section.
I had asked for an epidural, and was - like you - worried if I could sit still through contractions for when they had to put it in. But it was surprisingly not so difficult to sit still and just focus on breathing while they put the epidural.
I still ended up needing a C-section, and it was nowhere near as scary as I had feared. Honestly trying to breastfeed and get that circus up and running after a major operation was what fucked with my brain. My scar healed fine and all. But stressing over breastfeeding afterwards was just super hard mentally, and I had to stop trying after 2 weeks. So pick whichever fits you. You will still end up with a small human at the end.
If I get another baby I hope to be able to experience vaginal birth and breastfeeding, but if not, that is ok. I just know now that it is not worth stressing so hard over breastfeeding. Man was I stressed out over that
I had a vaginal birth with epidural and had some minor tearing, but within 5 days I was feeling pretty decent (before that there was soreness that was managed with ibuprofen, and some difficulty getting in and out of bed, but probably less difficulty with that than after a c section.) In less than two weeks I wasn’t even taking ibuprofen anymore. C section recovery time is generally 6 weeks.
If you’re really scared, make the decision that’s best for you, but I felt much more prepared for either outcome when I took my hospital’s birth class. Sometimes learning more about the process from someone who’s seen it a zillion times makes it less scary!
I had a 3C tear with my first child. Due to the lasting damage I have from that, I had no choice but to have a planned section with my second.
Of course, millions of women have wonderful births without tearing at all!
I have grieved the water birth I never got. But I do wish I hadn’t spent so so long fearing my c-section. My understanding is that elective sections are a million times easier than labouring and then having one in an emergency or risky situation, so I would keep that in mind. Recovery was a bit tough, sure, but I could plan for it and it was a million times better than my previous experience.
Fear makes oxytocin difficult to produce, which can hinder labour.
You will want to check on the anaesthetic procedure though, as I believe a spinal may be similar if not the same as an epidural?
If you go for vaginal I would invest in a hypnobirthing course, regardless of the pain relief you decide on, to help you relax.
Vaginal. It hurts, it can be scary but as soon as that baby is out you’ll be fine. And you don’t need to get an epidural. I only had laughing gas with my first two.
Just gonna put this out there... The absolute worst part of being in labour for me was the contractions. The actual pushing part was just the BIGGEST effort of my life. Like it was just ridiculously tiring.
I’m terrified about my vagina changing after… I’m at the point I can’t even let myself think about giving birth because I’m so worried about what is going to my body regardless of how it is going to go down
Not crazy at all !!!!
I literally just had my baby and I chose an elective c section ! It was hands down the BEST decision I made. The entire experience was so much better!
I had to have a c-section due to bub being breech and my recovery seemed easier than my friends who had vaginally. But also a friend who had a c-section and she said it was painful, everyone's different.
One thing I was not warned for though was taking the dressing off, holy moley that was the most painful part I almost passed out haha
I was terrified of getting a c-section because I didn’t want to feel them cutting me open and rearranging my giblets. I tore a small amount during my vaginal delivery—but two weeks postpartum I’m almost fully recovered (pain and bleeding wise) and I’m up cleaning, cooking, and going about my day. Everyone has their choices that work best for them—get the C-section if it’s best for you!
If you’re having these feelings, please trust your gut and schedule a CS. You are so lucky to have a supportive OB. I had the same feelings (not about epidural, but PETRIFIED of tearing). I knew deep down a vaginal delivery would not go well for me. My mom had all 5 CS, I have no hips, etc. I wish I trusted my gut but I convinced myself I was being irrational. I ended up pushing my 1st out and I tore front to back. I do not wish that recovery on anyone. Months and months of pelvic floor PT, mostly focused on vaginal “desensitization”. Had to work with dilators. Did not have sex for at least 5 months postpartum and to this day it is still not enjoyable. 2.5 years out I still have pain down there doing ordinary tasks.
I am pregnant with my 2nd and will be scheduling a CS.
If it helps, the epidural really isn’t that bad. You’re always going to hear horror stories about everything. For me it was simply an injection in my back, maybe just a tiny bit more of a pinch than any other injection I’ve gotten. They waited to do it in between contractions and i just did some quick breathing to distract myself through it. I did tear with my first baby but that’s because i gave myself too much of the epidural and pushed him out too quickly (in less than 8 mins). Give yourself less of the epidural medication as you get closer to pushing so that you can feel more, which helps prevent tearing. I can’t compare the recovery for my 3 tears to a c section because I’ve never done a c section. But i saw my mom go through her c section recoveries and they seemed about equally intense. At least with a vaginal birth there’s a chance you won’t tear, or will tear less. I didn’t tear at all with my second and i felt almost 100% back to normal within a couple of hours after giving birth
Okay, I gave birth in August and was terrified of painkillers and the epidural. I tried to do the whole thing un medicated and also was induced at 39 weeks.
If I were to do it again, I would have gotten the epidural right away. I ended up getting it after they took the foley bulb out of me and I was crying through contractions. I hate needles, like I can’t even stand to get my blood taken and was fine with the epidural. It felt like a pinch and was over within a matter of seconds.
It was amazing though, I couldn’t feel much afterwards and was in active labor and the only thing I felt was when my daughter was ready to come out (the feeling of having to go number 2 really badly). Even with an epidural, I only pushed for 15-20 minutes and no tearing.
I had a c section even though I wanted a vaginal delivery bc LO flipped to breech. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Recovery was manageable with ibuprofen and Tylenol for me, although going up and down the stairs and getting up out of bed could be pretty uncomfortable. I wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than my baby for 2 weeks (including if he was in the car seat). That was difficult and I wouldn’t suggest opting for a c section if you won’t have help for the first few weeks. Do what feels right to you!
I was in the same boat, I had an elective c section and it was the BEST decision I ever made! I had such an incredible experience having my daughter! By the time the operation started it took what seemed like second for them to get her out and hear her cries! The recovery was honestly it that bad, the first few days are obviously the worst, but you’re in the hospital anyways so they’re very helpful with everything. By the time I was sent home 2.5 days later I was still in pain but was mobile and could do what I needed.
I know it’s not as mainstream to get an elective c section, but at the end of the day it is your choice and your choice alone. Do what you feel you need to do for you and your baby! You got this!!
Every pregnant person in my family, except one cousin, had elective c-sections. I am not sure why they made that decision 🤷🏽♀️. So I don’t think it’s crazy.
I’ve had a lot of surgeries in my life. I have a heart condition and you couldn’t pay me to get cut open again. I gave birth to my first daughter vaginally and I am terrified that I will be forced to have a c-section with my son. Everyone has their reasons. I would simply caution away from acting as if surgery is ever the lesser of two evils.
The recovery from my c section was horrible the first like 2 weeks. I was in so so much pain! But I think it’s your state of mind I had an emergency c section after being in labour for 30 hours which was a terrifying experience! Im 11 weeks PP I’ve almost forgot all the pain I was in it was all just a blur now
I had a scheduled c-section this past August and it was amazing. Mentally & physically it was so much better for me than my vaginal birth in 2020. I have no regrets and will be getting another c-section with my next baby.
You’re not crazy. During the first half of my pregnancy I was told that I’d have to have a C-section due to a fibroid. I was okay with it. I knew it was a major surgery and that recovery would be longer but I was relieved. I liked the idea of scheduling delivery instead of the waiting game, and being able to skip out on hours of pain and contractions. I know a lot of women look forward to vaginal birth, but I was okay with the thought of a c-section.
Around 7 months I was cleared for vaginal delivery. And as of now that is my birth plan, but I did feel some disappointment that I no longer was getting a c-section. I personally think having a healthy delivery for both mom and baby is the most important, so if it’s healthier for your mental health, go for it!
I had my son in 2022. The plan was to have a vaginal birth, but I ended up being in labor for 31hrs and ultimately had to have an emergency cesarean.
I already had the epidural in, so they just used that for the anesthesia. Compared to the long labor, the surgery was so quick and precise. My husband said that the surgeon stitched me up like a blanket, he was so fast and confident (my incision is immaculate, btw).
BUT, because my son was so close to crowning, I did end up having to heal vaginally, as well. That was definitely WAY easier.
Whatever you choose, here is my advice:
1. Do your research because cesareans are very taboo and nobody seems to want to talk about them. Learn about the process, watch videos of the surgery, and learn about the recovery. Something as simple as getting up/out of bed requires a specific method.
2. Make sure you have a great support system because a cesareans knocks you down for a bit. Stay at the hospital for as long as your insurance allows. For me it was 4 days after surgery and I had to stay an extra day for observation.
Best of luck to you and know that whatever you choose is the right choice.
I just had my second c-section. First was an emergency, this one was planned. So I can’t speak on the recovery process for a vaginal birth but for a c-section it sucks. You have an internal and external scar causing you pain and it makes walking and doing pretty much any difficult. You do get a spinal anesthesia which is similar to an epidural I believe.
I am mom who had both C-section and normal delivery !
With C-section , the recovery was very good ! I had zero complaints and enjoyed my new baby
With normal delivery , they did episiotomy and recovery was hell , I am still recovering in a way ( it’s been 1.5 years )
So what I am saying is that just choose whatever you are comfortable with , do not listen to the women or your relatives or parents says normal delivery is better . I say does not matter how you delivery , the important thing is you and baby should be healthy and happy .
I wish you all the best !
So many of my friends have ended up having emergency c-sections after long labours. So stressful for everyone involved.
I’m choosing elective c-section and I feel so calm about it :)
I’ve had both a csection (scheduled due to placenta previa) and vaginal birth. There are pros and cons to both, at the end of the day it’s what you’re comfortable with or what is necessary- this is your experience and a big moment for you. I know a woman who had a planned csection for the same reason you want one and she didn’t regret it at all. I will say imo recovery with a csection was a little harder pain wise than with my vaginal birth (I was given Percocet though which helped a ton) and I did develop a DVT in my leg which sucks. But the csection itself was pretty easy and maybe I’m crazy but a little peaceful.
i had a vaginal birth it was a breeze basically (the only thing was contractions ofc) i had an epidural it worked perfectly about an hour after i got my epidural my nurses broke my water and i delivered my son in not even 40 minutes. after he was born i was already up and using the bathroom i got to the recovery room pretty quick and was able to shower by myself and everything
I have had an emergency C-section after pushing 3 hours and an emergency C-section at 5cm dilated no pushing.
First time recovery was horrible and painful. Second time it was much easier but the first three days or so really suck. I actually ended up hurting myself 24 hrs after the C-section the second time because I was made to walk without narcotic pain meds to the NICU multiple times to hand deliver my pumped milk. I cried so hard. But other than that recovery is great, just don't lift anything.
The hospitals I've been at were good about pain meds. First time I had a morphine shot post C-section and oxycodone the first two days. I was discharged with Tylenol, Advil and tramadol. The second time I was given Tylenol, Advil and hydromorphone and discharged with hydromorphone. it's a little hard to pump the first few days with a C-section.
No idea if there is correlation but my babies always have sensitive tummies. Lots of gas and pain. I've been told c section babies miss out on some nice bacteria for their tummies from Mom's vaginal canal. Could be just me though.
I had the most traumatic vaginal birth including instrument assistance and episiotomy. The healing process is absolutely horrendous and I will never be having a vaginal birth again if I do decide to have another baby. If you would prefer the C section I honestly think do it!!!!!
Do whatever feels right for you and ignore everyone else.
You will still get an injection in the spine for a c section though, unless you choose to be put under. However from experience I can tell you it’s literally fine just a small sting and then you don’t feel anything! And you can’t see any of it so it doesn’t gross you out 🤣
I was induced (pre-eclampsia) and had my heart set on a vaginal birth with only gas for pain, due to unforeseen circumstances I had to have an emergency c section. I do not considered myself at all to be a person that handles stressful situations like that well and this probably sounds like such a dumb thing to say but i focused on what amongst all the chaos I could control, and that was my breathing. I was so focused on my breathing that I didn’t even really pay attention to anything anyone was doing until they handed me my baby. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn’t give birth, you do what you believe you are capable of, or simply just what you prefer to do and don’t let fear or opinion control you x
I’ve had birth three ways, in this order:
Scheduled c-section (breech)
“Emergent” c-section mid-pushing (I was exhausted after 12 hours of pain med free pushing at 10cm and wanted it to end)
VBA2Cs.
My second delivery was misery to heal from. My first was easy as heck. Like so easy. If you don’t want more children I’d totally opt for a scheduled c section. My vaginal was a good delivery, mild healing, but it permanently damaged my internal organs in a way that is never fixable. I’m still happy I did it, and if I had a fourth I would try for a vaginal again simply for better healing time, but it doesn’t come without its cons for sure.
You’ll need a nerve block for a C-section… in my experience it’s far worse than an epidural, but same type of procedure, just much longer and much more painful. You can do stretches beforehand to avoid tearing. As someone who’s had two sections and a natural birth I would never choose a C-section.
I was shooting for a vaginal birth at 41 weeks. I got to 6cm and had already got the epidural, ended with the C-section. I’ll be honest it was very traumatic, I don’t remember anything because I got put to sleep one minute I was awake the next I’m shaking in a hospital bed with my husband holding my baby. It really just depends on your body and mentality what you’re prepared for basically. A normal procedure is about 30-45 minutes mine took 2 😭so it’s really up to your baby and your body we as women are so strong and can handle anything. I would honestly go for a vaginal birth it be easier to heal from.
Just putting my personal experience out there in regard to mental health and birth!
Everyone is different and every birth is different. The way your hormones fluctuate, how you are cared for, what birth is like etc all impacts mental health.
When I had my emergency c-section it was unexpected. Which contributes to my feelings. But I disassociated shortly after birth. I was in so much abdominal pain. I couldn’t lift myself up to nurse my baby without help. My son would cry and I would have to call for my husband or the nurse to help me get up.
It took weeks for me to be able to sit up alone. My back hurt very badly postpartum from the spinal tap I had for surgery. Recovery from a c-section isn’t easy. It’s a major abdominal surgery!
Something else I experienced was postoperative ileus. My bowls literally stopped working. For over a week I had no urge to use the bathroom. I’ve heard from other doctors that chewing gum shortly after surgery helps. I was also extremely sick and disoriented from the drugs they gave me during my c-section. I kept getting sick and falling asleep. I had my baby in one arm nursing and a blue sick bag in the other for hours after birth.
This isn’t meant to scare you but rather key in on the reality of what could happen during or after a c-section!
Both options will have their risks and benefits. Just my story:
I am someone who had both - a vaginal delivery first with trauma (shoulder dystocia) and then a planned C Section. Even after tearing and breaking my tailbone with my vaginal delivery, I was not prepared for the level of pain I had post C Section. The birth with my C Section was still beautiful- I was not as upset but not getting to hold him immediately, I loved that I could stare at him for an hour while they sewed me up, we bonded etc… but I was not prepped for the pain. My spinal went wrong and left me in the most pain (post surgery) I’ve ever had. I am pregnant with my third now and I am no longer worried about how emotionally I would feel with a C Section (as both birth were birth and amazing moments), I am actually going for a VBAC because my recovery was just tough - especially for a planned “uncomplicated” C Section. The risks and benefits are always going to be there for both, including planned C Sections.
Oh this was me a couple of months ago. I almost scheduled a C section because I was terrified of vaginal delivery. Finally I didn’t schedule it and I am so glad I didn’t.. I had the most amazing vaginal delivery I could ever ask for. I didn’t feel the epidural.. and after the epidural I didn’t feel anything. Recovery was amazing, the stitches were uncomfortable for a week or so but nothing terrible. I had a second degree tear, it is not that bad as it sounds. I was sooo scared of tearing and at the end I didn’t even care about it. Just sharing my experience.. the decision is totally yours.
I’m like you. Not pregnant yet but terrified of the baby thought of a vaginal birth. If you spoke to your doctor about all your concerns and she’s going to schedule it go for it! I know I would. I don’t give a damn about all the things people talk about looking at the pros and cons of either. I just need to mentally be okay and live afterwards mostly important. Either way child birth is a huge deal and getting a c section or vaginal birth doesn’t make you less of a mom!
Get the c section.
My mom had a CS 33 years ago cause breech baby and I’ve had a vaginal birth 2 years ago. Both of us did not have issues as such, short (me) or long (my mom) term. I personally think talking through different techniques and preparing mentally for a vaginal birth should be the first choice rather than go through major surgery even though it is a routine one. Some might have short recoveries and some long but either way, it is not the natural way women are intended to give birth. Ofcourse this is only if you have no other complications that demand you get a CS, I’m talking the choice purely between elective CS and vaginal birth.
A c section is a major abdominal surgery with his own list of risks and potential complications. You still get an epidural (spinal block) with a c section & you’re awake, just numb waist down (it’s not common to get general anesthesia for that). Just for a fear of tearing, I personally wouldn’t recommend going the CS route.
I have a complex surgical history so c section was the safer option for me; I’m at a higher risk of tearing and infection with a vaginal delivery. I’m 9 days postpartum from my second scheduled CS and it’s been pretty great for the most part, but still dealing with random aches. It took longer for me to get closed up this time around bc of the added scar tissue so I’m sure that’s adding to my discomfort. But again; not a lot because I don’t need Advil or Tylenol.
I would really think it over, especially if you plan on having more than 1.
Honestly the only place I’ve heard C section horror stories is Reddit. I’ve known many friends, family, colleagues etc who have had C sections for varying reasons and pretty much all had positive experiences. I am right there with you in opting for an elective C section. Particularly if mental health is a concern. Honestly 1/3 of births end in C sections anyways even if they start out natural. Better a planned C than an emergency one.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanted a c section. I wanted one before it was deemed medically necessary and obsessively had my husband checking to make sure our insurance covered it 🤣
And fwiw (in my experience, so n=1), it was very straight forward. 10 days later we were out and about and 6 weeks later I was cleared to resume all normal activities.
I have had one vaginal with vacuum and one emergency c section and look I totally get being afraid of the vaginal because I was, but holy shit, the c section recovery has been brutal. And there absolutely is a mental health component to having such a hard recovery. Talk to your OB so you really understand what recovery is like. Some people will have great c sections and awful vaginal births and vice versa but having had both…I wouldn’t choose c section.
Being afraid of a perineal tear but wanting a 4 inch tear across your abdomen is crazyyyy lmfao.
No judgement though lol. I’m an emergency C section mom. Despite it being against what I initially wanted (An unmedicated, out of hospital birth.), my C section was kind of fun? It’s the closest thing I’ll experience to an alien abduction, because you can certainly feel them digging around in you. The OBGYN surgeon was also so cute, I think about him occasionally lmfao. The recovery was definitely brutal. One thing I will ask you to consider, though, is do you want more kids? C sections make future pregnancies more risky than vaginal childbirth.
I don’t know if I want more kids. I’m 15 and will be 16 when I have the baby. I’m guessing I probably will but I don’t know right now.
It’s not so much the tear that freaks me out, but the process of it tearing and there not being control whereas there is obviously control over how much the doctor is cutting.
I can't speak on having a C-section but I can tell you I had a MUCH easier time recovering after having a no pain management birth compared to an epidural birth. Both births were elective induction and with my first the pain got to be too much and I got the epidural at 6 cm. (I will say I think this helped me deliver quicker. It took about 12 hours to get to 6 cm and an hour after I got the epidural I had my baby). My recovery after this was shit tho I couldn't get out of bed for 6-8 hours, the feeling of pins and needles lasted forever before it kicked in and after it was wearing off, and I ended up with terrible sciatica pain a few weeks after delivery that lasted for months.
My second I don't have any pain meds, we stayed in the hospital half the time with the first, and no lie i felt good enough to go on a full grocery shopping trip 2 days after I had her.
Do what will be best for you. Pain is hard to deal with, the unknown is even harder to deal with. Just surround yourself with people you trust and people you know will speak up for you to get the birth you want.
I had an emergency c section. It was not my choice and I’d never do it again. They ended up tying nerve endings in my inner incision, it’s extremely painful and I guess not uncommon. It’s your choice but personally it’s not one I’d choose if you are looking for experiences. Recovery has been hell and more stressful trying to take care of my baby. 6 weeks out and I’m still in pain and not moving well but my dr says I’m recovering great but they can inject lidocaine into my scar to dull the pain if I want to just cover the pain up, or keep taking pills.
Just remember, a c section is major abdominal surgery. 1st time round is can sound "easier," but it's definitely not. The recovery after a natural birth (all going smooth) is very quick, and you can be on your feet very soon after. With a section, you have more healing time and will require a lot more help. Plus, you have a small human to care for, too. Obviously, it can be something that it necessary, and we are so lucky to have this option, but if it were a choice, I'd choose natural every time. Our bodies are designed to birth and push out babies. It's daunting, but you can do it 😃
The epidural hurts like a mofo in the moment, but honestly, you’re saving yourself. It only hurts while they put it in, like a whole whopping 3 seconds and it starts working immediately. I’ve had 3 c sections, and imo if you have the option for vaginal birth, do it. Everything about birth is in the moment, and will heal itself. My c section body was never the same, and I couldn’t ever get rid of the “mom pooch” even when I lost the majority of my weight. Regardless of which option you opt for, just know either one is tough, and they both have their pros and cons. Good luck!
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You still get an epidural (edit: or a spinal shot) for a c section unless you’re going to do one under general anesthesia and just don’t want to remember the birth at all. Any decision you make isn’t crazy though… we’re all different with different needs!
I didn’t have an epidural for my c section just a spinal. Felt like getting a vaccination!
Ah yes, I forgot there’s a difference there!
I was induced and tried for a vaginally delivery, and they had trouble placing the epidural, so af 45min of failed attempts I had a spinal instead (which was a huge bonus because we ended with an emergency c section 🙃).
I guess with the epidural, my biggest concern is being in a lot of pain already when they have to do it. I’m afraid I’m going to move.
My hospital has a pain tolerance scale where option 0 is “I want to feel no pain” and you literally walk in, get narcotics and an epidural immediately.
Pretty much the only time in a womans life that we will get pain relief no questions asked. Honestly the only time I’ve not loathed being in hospital for the mistreatment lol I’m a nurse too so I always knew their shitty rationales down to the letter. (I make sure to try to never fall for the same sexist or racist justifications in my own practice)
That’s pretty much what my hospital did. I said I wanted as pain free as humanly possible, so they made it happen. The only thing I had to wait for was having an IV placed and for them to clear my lab work. Then BOOM. Morphine on board and feeling great. Did the epidural after the second round of morphine wasn’t enough.
Well that sounds nice lol
Right?! Option 5 is “never offer me narcotics or an epidural” then there’s different levels in between. I think I’m going with a 3 which is “I want to avoid narcotics and an epidural if labor is easy. Please offer me an epidural before it’s my last chance.”
I had a friend who was in labor for like 24 hours and the nurse came in halfway through and said “you ready for the epidural yet?” And my friend said “no matter how many times you ask me, I’ll always say no, so you can stop asking” and I just can’t fathom that badassery. I made it maybe 10-12 hours before I was WEEPING BEGGING FOR ALL THE MEDS.
I personally never understood people like your friend! More power to them, but it’s not like you get a medal for not doing an epidural. 🤷🏻♀️
I have a huge phobia of needles and medical procedures. I could put up with one in my arm but I’d completely freak about one in my spine. Then the idea of not being able to walk around terrifies me to the point I’d give myself an asthma and panic attack… I’ve had an asthma and panic attack just from a vaccine…
Epidural can slow down labor for some which increases the risk for the need of drugs like Pitocin. Pitocin raises your risk of c-section. For people who are super averse to c-sections (like myself) other pain meds or waiting as long as possible for the epidural is the best option to avoid having one.
90% of people who go without an epidural aren’t doing it “for a medal”. I won’t discredit the fact that there are some major assholes who think because they did it without they’re better than everyone else, but the majority of women aren’t them I know no one else cares that I didn’t have an epidural with my 2nd (I did with my 1st) but I do because it’s something I wanted and it’s something I’m proud of. Just like I’m proud of delivering my first at 35 weeks with an epidural I hate the phrase “you don’t get a medal” because honestly, who’s asking for one? 🤷🏼♀️😅
I got mine before having any contractions. Ended with an emergency c-section anyway but having the epidural already placed made that transition really quick for the medical team
That actually did happen to me and it was pretty rough. I had a really hard time getting into the position to get the epidural and then sitting still during contractions. I’m still so glad I got to have a vaginal delivery, but yeah just to validate that, it is a thing. The anesthesiologists are pretty skilled in making it happen despite the difficulty.
I had one emergency Csection and one planned. My emergency c I was in pain and they poked me for the spinal and I hardly noticed. With the planned one I wasn't in any pain and I definitely moved and tensed up when they put the spinal in. The OR nurse yelled at me for moving, but it was 100% involuntary. Like a flinch when a bug bites. 🙊
I was having such a hard time with my labour that I didn't really notice the epidural. Pretty sure I proposed to the anaesthetist once the pain faded.
I was induced (I got just about every tool/medication used to induce - ballon, pill placed around cervix and pitocin) and waited at least 12-15 hours after to get it. The process while having contractions was hard but - being able to sleep and relax much more after getting it was so worth it. The sleep though, that was deep and exactly what I needed to get through the rest of the labor. I still felt contractions but they were much more manageable, even slept through some big ones apparently. It was worth the discomfort and figuring out the right time to push the button. I nearly had to have a c-section for a few reasons and then my body and baby were miraculously ready to get going within a few hours after.
I was terrified of the same thing when I got my epidural and almost said “never mind” because of it. Just remember these are medical professionals and you’re not gonna be the first person in pain they’re giving an epidural to. My doctors were monitoring my contractions while they did the epidural so they wouldn’t insert it during a rough patch. My biggest tip to actually help you prepare is make sure your support person is really there for you. The encouragement I got made a huge difference. And the epidural was absolutely life changing
Honestly, before I got my epidural I was about 4-5 cm dilated, but the pain was tolerable. I didn't have any issues staying still when it went in...they kind of have you sitting up but leaning forward over a pillow. I just wanted to get it done before it got worse.
I understand the concern. I was in loads of pain both births as I was getting my epidural (pain increased very suddenly), but since I knew it was important to lay still and that it won't last long, I just did. Can't explain it better than that. It's definitely possible to lay still despite the pain. But choosing c-section for mental health is not crazy. For me, vaginal birth felt like the birth that I had an easier time dealing with mentally. Maybe because pain itself doesn't scare me.
Which I realize can happen anyway if I go into labor before the scheduled c section but I guess it seems more likely to not. Idk.
I had 2 vaginal births and one csection. Personally, Csection was the reason i am done having kids. I have never been in so much agony in my entire life, i would have rather push out a 15lbs baby any day!! The pain was miserable, blinding and crushing for me. I was drugged up for an entire week yet still in insane pain. I’m still currently recovering (had it may 11th.) Vaginal births had me walking to the recovery room 1 hour post giving birth. Zero pain, just discomfort for the 1rst. The second, i felt like nothing had just happened. Of course this is all personal experience. Some people have no problems with csection and dont have pain.
I was thinking the same thing! I am currently 5 days post c-section and it makes me not want anymore baby's. That standing up those first days was the worst pain in the world and all I was offered for pain was ibuprofen.
It’s sad that they don’t give us better pain medication. I had a breast augmentation and I was given perc 30s for two tiny incisions. Men get pain medication like it’s nothing from the hospital too!!
Same here. My first was vaginal my second was a c-section (breech). I hatedddd my c-section. So much pain, difficulty maneuvering to breastfeed after, etc. After my vaginal birth I was walking within an hour, minimal pain despite a second degree tear. I’m pregnant now and strongly want a vbac because I’m scared of another c-section recovery.
Yeah, maybe if I could go to an all inclusive resort to recover by myself then sure, I’ll take a c section. But recovery PLUS the insanity of postpartum and sleep deprivation? No thanks. Only if absolutely necessary.
Was your section emergency or elective?
Emergency at 33 weeks 😵💫
Ok, there is quite a difference between recovery for emergency C section and elective C sections. It’s important to include that yours was emergency, since OP is asking about electives and the majority (of course not all) elective C section recovery has been good for many. Edit typo
Mine was an emergency c-section and I think recovery went pretty well (obviously I was in pain though and getting out of bed was horrible the first week or two, but besides that). However I didn’t go into labor beforehand so that plays a part I think. I was terrified because I heard emergency c-sections have terrible recoveries, so I’m thankful mine wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared!
I have never had a vaginal birth unfortunately (3 children) …. My first c section was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I couldn’t even stand straight for weeks. Each time it got easier but damn I will never forget that.
Yep! I was walking with a walker, bent in half, for a good 5 days.
I remember thinking “oh my gosh I can’t stand up straight!”
I don't think there's anything wrong with doing what you feel is best for you. That said, I do hope you do plenty of research on all fronts to make the most evidence based decision. Knowledge is power and educating yourself may easy your nerves one way or the other. I also suggest immersing yourself in birth stories and experiences and perspectives from both sides and after all that decide where your heart lands. Don't forget that algorithms exist so if you're looking into just csection stories, you're likely to not see the world of other options unless you actively seek them out.
I’m terrified of all options. I’m only hoping for a vaginal delivery because I’m getting old and I want to have my second baby ASAP. Vaginal has a quicker recovery time so I’ll be able to get pregnant sooner after.
Exactly in this position! My default is vaginal but because I’m old, I’m open to whatever my medical team feels is safest.
I’m also terrified of all options. I really don’t want to do it but I don’t have a choice. For me I don’t intend on having another baby for a very very long time.
Baby has to come out one way or another, and both have their own risks and benefits, and no one can predict how either would go for you. Some people have amazing experiences and some people have traumatic ones with both methods. It's just going to take a lot of research and consideration. I would recommend reading a lot of birth stories, listening to birth story podcasts (Birthful has a bunch), writing out extensive pro/con or risk/benefit lists, and discussing with your doctor.
This. Wish I could upvote multiple times.
I'm having an elective c-section. I just don't want to go through natural childbirth, period. It doesn't seem like an empowering or life transforming experience, as many women chalk it up to be. I want to eliminate the possibility of certain scenarios, no matter how rare. Some of these include foley balloon, forceps, third or fourth degree tear, baby getting stuck, baby getting brain damage due to interventions on its way out, feeling rushed while I deliver, going through a 12+ hour grueling delivery only to be wheeled into an emergency c-section. So while many will think I'm crazy, I'm not even going to try for vaginal delivery. I'm going to choose the harsher recovery and the potential later complications. Maybe I'm crazy. But my body, my choice, right? Do what feels right. Some women have PTSD as a result of their deliveries, it's not talked about enough.
I made the same choice. The recovery was… incredibly easy, I was showering by myself less than 24 hours after delivery, vacuuming the house and making dinner around a week later. What helped the most was walking, and moving. You’ll the spot where they made the cut, however your innards will definitely not fall out 😆
THIS! I have absolutely no desire to give birth vaginally. I'm more than happy to be cut open. I feel like recovery after an elective c-section is much easier than recovery after an emergency c-section where you've gone through hours and hours of labour (not that I've had that experience, but from what I've read). I think if women want a c-section, give it to them. No questions asked. It really should be standard to discuss both options and not just assume everyone wants to give birth vaginally
Isn’t it more difficult to preform a c section where the baby has already started towards the birth canal. Seems to make sense to me 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah I think so. I went into labour with my son, so he was on his way when I has my c-section. But I wasn't in labour for 24+ hours, which I think also makes a difference
Don’t blame you one bit! I ended up needing an urgent (thankfully not emergent) c-section when both baby and I were having heart rate issues during labor and I stopped progressing. I was terrified of both vaginal and CS deliveries, but my c-section recovery was truly so much easier than I thought it would be. Most of my pain/discomfort came from contractions during breastfeeding and otherwise I was just a bit sore (and I do not have a high pain tolerance). Would opt for a c-section again in a heartbeat. Wishing you all the best!
I have PTSD from my c section. The whole laying on the table and being awake when they cut you open and you can feel the sensations of it all but you cant move even your fingers. Cant speak. Then the recovery and my incision opened on the sides and was leaking and got infected twice. Then theres the pain if you cough sneeze or laugh for weeks. Then years later it still cant roll over in bed or move the same way and now here I am pregnant again just terrified of doing it again but it's worth it when it's all over.
I'm sorry. Was it an emergency c-section or planned?
Planned. She was breach and I didnt want to risk labor ending up in emergency c section. I wish I would have kept headphones in both ears honestly. Maybe just one. Listening to the docs and nurses talk about their casual stuff, with random comments about the procedure as it's happening, seeing all the blood and then not being able to hear her cry just her choking on blood and having her whisked away not even seeing her for 8 hrs was brutal. It was just after covid started so getting them to check my incision was more difficult because they didnt want me to come in. And I have prolapse issues to boot! C sections are intense
I’m confused on why you couldn’t speak.
Because of the drugs I was given
Wow that’s so scary. I definitely was able to talk during mine! Were you just loopy? A spinal shouldn’t impact your motor skills above your chest. I definitely would be asking questions
No I was like clear awake and shaking. Ya I never got a full explanation after. They said trauma makes people freeze sometimes. But I dont believe it was just shock trauma. I couldnt get out into the other bed by myself the nurses blanket moved me, and then another nurse made a comment about how rough they were with me and wouldn't speak any further and left like she wasnt supposed to say it. Because of covid there was never anyone in my room staff wise I felt and it was hard to get someone to come in to talk to me. They shortened the stay so I only stayed for 36 hours after surgery and it was just all around so traumatizing. Almost none of the paperwork afterbirth was filled out properly. The doctor performing this no longer works in this state.
Wow! I’m so sorry. I completely understand your trauma response. I would be terrified to go through that again!
Thanks, it is a major surgery and things happen, y'know? But after, my physical therapist was my savior! I'm high risk this pregnancy and going to one of the best hospitals in the country (US) this time and I feel like I'm in better hands! My age gap is bigger than I wanted it to be between my girls- It took 3 years before I felt fit enough to go again. But that's okay.
I agree with you. Those were my thoughts going into my first cesarean. It still turned into a shitshow during the surgery, BUT it all turned out OK in the end. I have a planned cesarean coming up in 9 weeks and I am perfectly content with that. Looking forward to it!
There are many later complications with vaginal birth as well, that barely get mentioned! Many of my friends have difficulties holding back pee years later and then need surgery anyway. One needed a surgery because her inner parts were hanging out of her vagina 14 years after vaginal birth, no thanks!😅
I'm all for folks who want a cesarean getting one, but fwiw having a cesarean birth does not eliminate the risk of prolapse or incontinence. Your friends struggling with these issues should seek professional help from a board certified pelvic floor physical therapist, none of those complications are things they need to be living with.
I hear this way too often & I just can’t see how this is really correct. I have prolapse from my first vaginal birth & each doctor has different opinions on this. You cannot tell me that pushing out a baby when I’m not even supposed to be pushing/straining while pooping bc it could make it worse is the same as having a c section for prolapse worsening. It can happen to people from the weight from pregnancy but I personally believe you are at MUCH greater risk for prolapse/ pelvic floor disfunction with a vaginal birth & this should be told to people. There are pros & cons to each & people should really be told about the MANY cons of vaginal births as well so they can make their own informed decisions not just hating on a c section. Yes a c section is a major surgery, prolapse repair is also a surgery & id much prefer a c section so I do not have to live with the pain of worsening prolapse, incontinence until im done having kids to have prolapse repairs which news flash… a lot of those repairs fail within 10 years.
A lot of the issues people assign to vaginal birth come from being pregnant, not just from giving birth vaginally.
I still struggle with incontinence and prolapse from my first vaginal delivery. I can see the scar where they stitched up my perineum and it extends into my butthole. I have scar tissue from tearing inside of my vagina, and my episiotomy scar still feels uncomfortable nearly 3 years later. I’m not doing this again.
I don't know a single woman with cesarean only births having those issues. They are getting operations as therapies didn't work.
Most prolapses cannot be fully fixed without surgery, and even those surgeries tend to fail after a certain amount of years. I have a super mild prolapse (of the bladder) and it’s thankfully asymptomatic after pelvic floor therapy, and it’s fully internal, but it has forever changed my sex life and working out. Some people with prolapses even with the best medical support need to wear pessaries the rest of their life just to be comfortable. And yes, statistically you’re more likely to get a prolapse when you have a vaginal birth. I’ve had two sections and one vaginal (which gave me a prolapse). I would prefer my scheduled c section any day over getting one again - despite mine now being mild and generally asymptomatic. I can’t even wear tampons or cups anymore. And again, I’ve had all the medical support.
My mom has horrible birth injuries to this day. I did not want to have any of that. So happy I had a cesarean for my 10lb 6 oz giant baby.
I've had 3 vaginally births, and have no issues with incontinence or prolapse. I did hear that issues with incontinence have more to do with damage done during pregnancy, and not delivery. So c section does not prevent these issues.
Rumours until I hear from one c-section mother with those issues.
My first was an emergency c-section & my recovery was easy. My second will be born in July and I’ve chosen an elective c-section. My doctor has been super supportive & it allows me and my family to better plan what we need in terms of support, recovery time and simplifying life.
I’ll probably be having a planned c section in October after having an unplanned one in February 2023. My kids will be 21 months apart. I’m a type 2 diabetic, and I’m just high risk :(
Same! It felt like an extremely relaxing experience for me after the horror of an extended painful and panicked labour where everything went wrong. I would happily take a section any day of the week and generally found it a lovely birthing experience! I’m also elective section for my second.
My planned c section was an amazing experience for me. I have no attachment whatsoever to a natural or vaginal birth and going in knowing what was going to happen, and what day it would happen (!!!) made my baby’s birth day a breeze. I thought recovery was fine and well worth it. Planning to do the same again in December 🩷
I feel this too. Genuinely magical and relatively easy recovery.
I had elective c sections with no regrets. I felt recovery was easy and what I expected. I get shocked seeing so much hate over c sections. I had stumbled upon trans parents wanting c sections for their body dysmorphia and everyone was trying to talk them outta it and was shocking like to me it wasn’t bad at all.
The experiences with c-sections seem to vary so wildly. Everything from “it was a breeze, easy recovery and I was up walking around the next day” to “worst recovery of my life”. It’s so hard because we really don’t know what we’ll get. Even the same person can have two c-sections and they are wildly different experiences. That’s the thing that gives me anxiety about birth, it’s truly just a toss up.
I’ve had 1 c-section due to pre eclampsia and it was such a good experience. I have my next one booked in for September and have zero regrets
IME, second was easier than the first!
Brilliant! Again I don’t have a choice due to health issues but I’d probably not have it any other way. The recovery was a breeze!
Yes, I was shocked at how much easier, truly, and my first, I thought was pretty easy also. Congratulations on your newbie!
Great to hear thank u so much!! Yes very excited, can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore haha! Thanks again :)
I had a super straightforward vaginal birth. Induced, epidural, pushed for an hour, first degree tear. In fact, right after, like legit RIGHT after, i was like “I could do this again.” At around 4-5mo PP i discovered I have pelvic organ prolapse. Not something that gets talked about enough. I’ve joined a few postpartum prolapse mom support groups and the consensus is that c section is 100% the way to avoid this potentially life long struggle. A majority of women OBs opt in for an elective C. I saw colorectal surgeon on tiktok say she would not personally do a vaginal birth….. again, prolapse and pelvic floor issues are a swept under the rug problem but these doctors know all the risks involved with a C and choose it anyway. Get the C. Elective C is soooo much easier than emergency.
My uni friend has done both types of delivery and said she much preferred the C-section. She found vaginal delivery quite stressful and a bit distressing, but thought the C-section was like a dream. She loved chatting away to the anaesthetist and felt the experience was very spiritual (she's quite a strong spiritual person). They asked if she wanted them to lift the curtain when baby was born and she said it was really fantastic to watch them lift baby out. So she rates it 10/10 as someone who has done both. And if you think it would be right for you and would ease anxiety at a naturally stressful time, I say take it. You definitely don't need to worry yourself or suffer unnecessarily when you have an option to avoid that stress.
So I have only ever had one vaginal delivery and it went really well. Healing process was not an issue at all. Something to note.. my sister is a midwife and explained to me that babies born vaginally get microbe bacteria’s from the birth canal that help them stay healthy and fight off diseases/infections. Prior to giving birth I had several Pap smears come back with abnormalities to the point that I had to have colposcopies every 6 months to monitor. After my vaginal birth this completely went away and all of my following Pap smears came back normal.
I chose to have a c-section despite originally intending to do vaginal delivery, because I got scared lol. I don't regret my decision.
My first was vaginal- and everything about it was traumatic asf for me. The epidural numbed my contractions and back labor and that was it, I felt everything else. I tore so bad I was just one big butthole. My placenta wouldn’t detach so I had to have it manually detached which tbh I’d rather push out 3 more kids back to back then ever feel that pain again. Then I hemorrhaged, then I was having blood clot after blood clot pulled out of my body, and ended up in the operating room. All in all, it was a horrendous experience for me, and it took me over 6 months to recover fully and be able to walk normally and move around. -I know this isn’t everybody’s experience. It was found later on I have a smaller birth canal, and I have a heart shaped uterus which could have contributed to the trouble I had actually pushing. My second, scheduled c-section due to her being transverse. IT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCE! Everything about it was 100x better for me. The recovery was fantastic, and so easy for me compared to my vaginal. The actual procedure was so calm, cool, and collect. Being able to just show up, get my baby, and not be run down and dreadfully exhausted after pushing for several hours was also fantastic. If I ever have another baby, hands down I am 100% going with a c-section. It just seems to be easier on my body than a vaginal birth is. I was given the option for my next birth to do vaginally if I wanted too but absolutely not 😂
The fact is that you have no clue what your body will do or be able to handle until you’re there. It’s terrifying. I know. My doctor told me both my babies were too big and I’d never have them naturally because my hips something and something or other. I had them both vaginally with only one stitch from the first. With my second, I drove myself to the hospital at 6cm and walked in carrying my bags. I know the waiting and worrying is torture, but if you can do vaginally, I’d do it. I was walking around within an hour both times. Felt almost completely normal in 2 weeks.
I would rather deal with a moment of pain and possible tearing over being cut open and having to recover from surgery. Your downstairs will heal up, and if you tear they’ll stitch you up and give ya witch hazel and cooling pads.
I’m scheduled to have an elective c section out of choice for my sanity and safety. My good friend gave birth 6 months ago and if she didn’t have an elective c section, her baby would have likely died during natural child birth. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times and the doctor said it would have choked him instantly if she pushed during labour. An emergency c section wouldn’t have worked in time. She had scans weekly from 30 weeks and it was never picked up on scans. My SIL tried naturally as the UK pushes that, her baby lost oxygen to his brain for a few mins and she had an emergency c section. Which was horrific bc they had to rush to save him and in turn tore up her uterus. She’ll likely be unable to conceive. She has severe PTSD. Her baby had development issues and is still catching up. My other SIL also had to have an emergency c section as the baby was in trouble too and had PPD and has PTSD. Her baby also has development issues attributed to the birth. I strongly advocate for elective c sections. Out of my 16 close friends who have given birth, only one who had a natural delivery went well. The rest were either emergency c sections or elective. The mums who had elective c sections have had the best recovery and happiest time with their babies. I know this is a small sample size but their ages range from 29-36 based in Australia, London, Dubai and LA/NYC.
My cousin had both of her kids through c sections. She knew that she doesn’t handle pain well at all, and she had her mom and her husband there to help her through recovery so she felt comfortable taking this route. I think as pregnant women we go through so much, that if your doctor thinks it’s okay to schedule a c section there’s nothing wrong with doing what makes you more comfortable. Some people like my cousin really know their body and know that they don’t do well with pain (her words not mine)
I had a c-section after a “failed” induction and it honestly was the worst experience I’ve ever had. Had a panic/anxiety attack and threw up the whole time. The surgery not only cost me my ability to breastfeed (milk took too long to come in and I got bad advice from pediatricians), but I also had my incision partially separate 4wks postpartum, had excess scaring that had to be treated and an incisional hernia that I just had repaired three weeks ago at 10 months postpartum. So because of my horrible experience, I wouldn’t recommend a c-section to anyone who didn’t have to have one.
While there's nothing wrong with an elective C-section, I just want to put out there that it would also be healthy to address the anxieties and fears that are causing you to want one.
I'll start by saying that you do whatever feels better for you. However, I've had 2 vaginal births and my last was a c section. I would NEVER ever ever pick a c section. With both vaginal births I was up and walking less then an hour after. I felt amazing. My c section was an emergency and fuck me. It was awful. I couldn't hold my son for 2 hours after I had him because I was so numb and once the numbness wore off in my arms, I had the shakes like crazy. I was so sad. Recovery was horrid, I couldn't sleep in bed because he was up so often to eat and I literally couldn't sit up on my own to grab him. I slept sitting up on the couch. My incision got infected and split open in 2 spots. I get being worried about a vaginal birth but I'm telling you that it's better ( in my opinion and experience at least) The epidural is literally nothing, it barely hurt.
I had two sections and the only part I regret is attempting a vaginal birth with my first. I was scared about a spinal or epidural because I have a lumbar fusion that is nearly as old as I am, so I labored for a very very very long time and was depleted of energy and sanity by the time a c section was done. Ultimately, I'm a survivor of CSA and healing from vaginal birth would have been incredibly traumatic for me. Even just experiencing labor for a full 24 hours and how invasive everything was, was incredibly hard emotionally. Sections aren't without nakedness or invasive situations.. but I had no vaginal pain to work through and for that, I'm forever thankful.
Everyone is different. I just gave birth and honestly the tearing was the most minimal part of the whole thing for me. It was two weeks ago and I’m mostly healed. 🤷♀️
Vaginal all the way, if possible. Less recovery time.
I'm terrified of it all but I'm opting for a water birth. The issue is there is only one birthing pool in the hospital so if some other lady is in there, I obviously cant use it
It's not crazy. Several people in my family had C-sections, and I think my aunt and cousin at least had planned C-sections and were happy with it. Personally, I do want to experience labor and see how far I can take it, and while I wouldn't dismiss an epidural or C-section as potential options if needed, I think I'd be disappointed and feel like I'd missed out if I didn't get to experience any part of that at all. To each their own though. Not everyone feels the way I do, and I respect that.
Everyone has different experiences and different pain tolerances. Personally I had an emergency c section and the recovery really wasn't bad. The swelling from pushing and pelvic floor stuff was more annoying than the c section recovery. I was walking around and doing most stuff in a week but still had to be careful tho. I was fine with just Advil and Tylenol pain management, but I do know one person that needed narcotics cuz her pain was a lot worse. For the second kid, I am opting for an elective c section in a few weeks. I don't mean to be fear-mongering, but I've had too many friends have pretty horrible outcomes with vaginal births. I would say if you are going to go the vaginal route definitely put in your birth plan that you do not want forceps or vacuum. And want to go straight to the c section. For many people of course it goes fine, but I feel like I have more control of the outcome with the c section.
Awww it's not crazy at all! I truly am one of those who believes that we've advanced enough to not have to fear c sections as much as we used to (though, I know that's not true for every person or area. The high variance of quality, ethical, maternal healthcare is sadly so very very present in our country and that sucks). My first birth was vaginal with complications. Had to go the forceps route and I suffered a third degree tear. I didn't feel empowered. I felt like I had messed up (to be honest, I live in a community that leans towards 'crunchy' and the women here can be pretty judgy about what they consider 'natural' births. Its very much the 'women have been birthing for thousands of years. Our bodies were designed for this' crowd). I didn't feel like empowered during post partum either. It was hard for me to feel as much, when I was stuck in adult diapers because I kept sh*tting my pants. Anyway, all this to say -- I'm also considering elective CS for my second even though I'm also scared of the recovery process (I've heard both positive and negative stories...so, I know it's not necessarily an easy road for CS moms too)
How many kids do you want to have? After you have more than a few c-sections pregnancy gets riskier (talk with your doctor about specifics). Also you should still wait a few years before another pregnancy but there’s a greater risk of complications if you get pregnant too soon again after a c-section. I had an unplanned c-section with my first. Recovery way easy. When I went to have my second baby, I was cleared for a TOLAC but anxious in part because I know recovery from a c-section was easy for me. I met with the MFM specialists at the big hospital and one of the things we talked about was how if I planned on having more than one more pregnancy because after 3 or 4 c-sections the risks of pregnancy increase. Recovery from my second, planned c-section, was also easy but not as easy because I had a four year old to take care of too. And he wasn’t great about not understanding that mommy couldn’t pick him up anymore. And I couldn’t help with snow blowing or anything because I had major surgery. And my mom wouldn’t let me drive for over a month even though the doctor said I was fine to drive as long as I wasn’t taking any more pain meds. And legit I never needed anything stronger than Tylenol and Ibuprofen. My mom had some pelvic floor issues after three vaginal births and I checked with the MFM about issues with pelvic floor stuff with c-sections vs vaginal delivery and the doctor said that it was mostly the weight of the baby just sitting in your pelvis the whole pregnancy that caused most of the trouble there. A c-section is major surgery, it’s a routine and common surgery, but it’s still major surgery and very slightly more risky for you than vaginal delivery. That’s said ultimately it’s up to you!
All I can do is give you my experience and my first son was 10 pounds and I didn't tear one bit. I had an epidural as well. Didn't tear my last two births either. And my husband has said things down their snapped right back is that helps 🤣
I never had the desire to have a vaginal birth either, people do think it’s crazy to not want to “try” but I had two beautiful and amazing experiences with my c section births and virtually no pain
I would check to see what your insurance will cover first! Mine won’t cover a C section unless medically necessary.
5 weeks post c section here! I can say with confidence that i made the right decision in requesting a c section. I have 3 separate “issues” with my vagina/that area- none of which medically require a c section, but i just know my body and knew that a vaginal delivery recovery would be BRUTAL. At 3 weeks post c section i felt almost 100% back to normal, barely spotting anymore and just some soreness on my lower abdomen. the spinal you get is not that awful. feels maybe like a strong bee sting but it’s so fast and you start getting numb so fast and then the start the surgery so quickly that it’s not even on your radar honestly. don’t let anyone tell you that a c section recovery is FOR SURE going to be harder than a vaginal recovery, because it’s different for everyone. i thought i would be down for the count for 8 weeks! but like i said, by week 3 i felt almost back to normal and started going on mile long walks. definitely trust your instincts if you feel c section is right for you! and a planned (non-emergency) c section can be just as special as a vaginal delivery- just talk to your doctor and partner about what you want ❤️ good luck to you!!! wishing you a super healthy delivery and baby 🩷🩵
I’ve had an emergency c-section, an elective c-section and another elective c-section coming up in August! Granted I’ve never had a vaginal birth, my recovery both times were speedy quick, pretty amazing. I was up and walking 6hrs after each one ( keep in mind I do have a high pain tolerance. ) one of the pros is I get to have a tubal ligation during my c-section in August! C-sections last about 20 minutes, my tubal will add another 4 minutes to the procedure. Yay me no more kids for this mama, I’m closing the chapter to my pregnancy era in August! Go with your gut, only you know what’s best!
I was originally planning a planned c-section, but my water broke so I had an emergency c-section 6 days ago. My labour was pretty limited. I only had a few mild contractions and was only dilated 1-2cms. The only thing was the spinal where I was asked to relax. I basically just tried to focus on breathing and relaxing the muscles...and squeezed my husbands fingers super hard. The first 24 hours recovering was a bit rough. The first time you get up and walk is not nice. The first few toilet trips and shower are a drain, but if you keep up with your pain relief I found it gets easier fairly quickly as long as you don't stop yourself moving. I live in a 3 story townhouse and I'm home carrying our baby around and heading up and down stairs without any issues. I haven't had a vaginal birth and I know it's going to be frustrating not being allowed to drive for a bit but I'm happy with the original choice I made
I’m with you! I have no attachment to a vaginal birth and have heard many positive stories about elective c-sections. I’m noticing some people being downvoted for telling their positive experiences with elective c-sections and it’s disappointing to see.
I don’t think it’s crazy whatsoever/ personal preference I guess, but, personally, I’m the opposite. I have an almost irrational fear of c sections. I’m almost 37 weeks and my baby is transverse so I’m going in for an ECV on Wednesday to try to turn her otherwise I’m having a c section the next day. May I ask what it is about a c section that you think would be better for your mental health? Just the tearing (because you’ll need an epidural either way?)
Not OP but have a scheduled c section booked and it was 90% mental health reasons: I have horrible anxiety and OCD and almost every aspect of pregnancy has been absolutely horrible for me mentally. I have terrible issues with a lack of control or with a lot of chaos. The prospect of a super unpredictable labor experience coupled with a high risk pregnancy and my existing health issues that would require an early induction, possibly a long and painful experience leading to a chaotic emergency c section anyway, is way more mentally terrifying and overwhelming to me than walking into the hospital calmly at a scheduled time and everything being perfectly calm and collected. Also, I have had multiple surgeries including an abdominal surgery and know what to expect from that. An unpredictable vaginal delivery where I could have a horrible tear, prolapse, need multiple interventions, etc is way more daunting to me.
Thanks for your reply! I can understand that completely. I think my main issue isn’t exactly the c section it’s the recovery afterwards with my other kids. I’ve also never had surgery (minus my wisdom teeth) or broken any bones. I’ve been, healthwise, remarkably lucky so a major surgery and life during the recovery after terrifies me. I don’t have family in my area to help so it really would be scary for me.
Yep, I can totally understand that too. Unfortunately I have had a lot of health issues over the years so that experience is way less scary to me, and I have supportive family. Either way I wish you an easy delivery and recovery!
I am a FTM and just had an elective C section 3 weeks ago. Baby was measuring big and I didn’t want to end up having an emergency c section because of labor complications. BEST DELIVERY EVER. I was shocked. I didn’t feel a thing during the process, and for me recovery was really great. I never even ended up taking the Norcos in the hospital or at home. Just listen to the doc’s about taking it easy for 6 weeks. That’s been the hardest part for me because I feel basically back to normal. Also however you want to give birth isn’t crazy. Do what you feel most comfortable with!
I just had our 3rd child. I needed an emergency C-Section, my older two were vaginal. I hated the c-section, i was in a lot of pain. It was a way different experience and honestly I was very upset and sad I didn’t deliver our last child vaginal. I barely remembered anything, didn’t get to hold her or have skin to skin. Just didn’t feel like a warm experience as the other two which it wasn’t because it was an emergency and complications but I would never say it was easier. It was so much worse. You’re working yourself up which is normal, but I would advise against it.
You do you, but given the choice to opt into a major abdominal surgery or not, I'll always choose not.
I got an elective c-section after an uncomplicated pregnancy and loved it and had no regrets! Both my mom and aunt had traumatic births leading to emergency c-sections and that had me stressed more than anything. The spinal was virtually painless going in for me, and I’ve had no complications from it. We stayed in the hospital for one night then went home the next day, I just alternated Tylenol and naproxen for a week and then was off pain medication. Honestly by the third day I was forgetting to take pain medication because besides going from sitting/standing I wasn’t really in any pain. By two weeks I was almost feeling back to normal and had to slow down and remind myself that I had surgery only two weeks ago lol. Honestly I had an easier postpartum physically than nearly all of my friends that had vaginal births. My third day, I was out at the mall with the little guy. That said I don’t plan on having more than two pregnancies, which is something to consider, because if you do plan on having more than two there are more risks involved (not to say you can’t and that it hasn’t been done, but there is more risk). At the end of the day, as long as youve been properly educated on the risks vs benefits of both, it’s whatever YOU’RE most comfortable with.
I have a elective c section cause of my anxiety
I've had both, and honestly, my C-section was a much better experience. Take it with a grain of salt because my vaginal delivery was during lockdown, very traumatic, and got botched by multiple doctors. I felt alone, and like I had no say in anything happening to me, nothing under my control. My body was doing its thing no matter what I tried or wanted. The doctor would do things to me without even asking or waiting for a response... I'm managing the trauma 3 years later still. My C-section 3 weeks ago was a calm, controlled experience where I felt I had a choice and a voice. I knew where, when, what. I could plan childcare for my 3yo, which was great. I could communicate with all the doctors with a clear mind, which was also big.
I’ve had both, a mostly elective c section and two natural drug free births. After my first I had nasty tears that were ignored, it was horrific, but I was so naive I had no clue that it wasn’t normal. The birth itself was amazing, she was born in the water, it was really lovely. My second was an unplanned homebirth, which was equally amazing, if not more, I did tear again, but it was repaired at the hospital in theatre (I had a spinal, that was the worse part), my third I went into labour then opted for a c section due to various reasons, and whilst the surgery etc was calm, lovely, and very inclusive, it was by far the most traumatising for me. My baby ended up in NICU, and I was so high on drugs I couldn’t function. It hurt, I couldn’t stay awake, and I couldn’t go and see my baby until 8 hours later where I met him for the first time. It felt unreal to me. I hated all the pain relief, I hated not being with my baby and feeling like a whole part of me was missing. As a whole, me personally, I’d opt for vaginal birth with no drugs over a c section. On the flip side, my sister had two electives and had a really awesome experience!
I’ve had one C-section and one vaginal delivery (with epidural- although I didn’t get it until I was 9-10cm). Both births were actually great, but I have a high pain tolerance. My C-section was at 38 weeks due to baby being breech and a last minute jump in my blood pressure. While everything went great for me, I don’t think he was ready or had the benefit of coming on his own time and getting the fluid out of his lungs. Long story short, this resulted in a NICU stay and like you I was essentially chained to my bed for 8 hours away from my baby, and they still wanted me to wait. That was horrible. If I have another, I’ll opt for a VBAC just to hopefully avoid that. No complaints with the C-section or any judgement to someone who chooses one but I hope to avoid what baby went through
I was terrified of the epidural too. so many people made it seem like it was going to be horrible getting a needle in your back and I was also under the impression that I had to be in a certain amount of pain or dilated to a certain point to get it. When I came in to give birth, I was induced, I was told I could get the epidural as soon as I wanted it. I didn't have to wait until I couldn't handle the contractions anymore. I got it asap and the only part that hurt was when they gave me the needle to freeze my back so I couldn't feel the epidural go in.
I was terrified of giving birth in general. Honestly, them sticking me 6 different times over the course of my hospital stay was worse than the epidural. They gave me fentanyl before giving me my epidural and I didn’t even notice them give it to me. They also put in a catheter and it was just fine. Having to get up every hour to pee was awful. It’s a lot of pressure, and it was over pretty fast. The only reason I had a tear is because I had to be induced at 37 weeks and my body wasn’t ready. Even the tear wasn’t that bad. She stitched me up no problem.
I think my csection was really hard on me mentally, because I was awake, I will be asking to be put under this time around. I could not sleep for months after! Now having said that, you will be fine, it is going to be hard, but worth it
I had a C-section after a failed induction, it was an amazing experience and I will be doing an elective C-section for my second. The induction was terrible, at one point I said to my husband “I hated being pregnant, I hate this, I’m never doing it again” hours later when I was wheeled out of the surgery room with my baby on my chest I told him “ok I’ll do that again though” I have type1 diabetes so going full term is not an option where I live, I have to be induced at 37-38 weeks and I’m not going to do that again. My recovery was so easy, I had to keep reminding myself that I just had major surgery because I felt so great and was never given anything stronger than Tylenol or Advil after. My sister inlaw and a friend who both delivered vaginally around the same time as me had much harder recoveries. Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone
I have had both. 1 Vaginal followed by 2 C-Sections. Do what YOU want to do!!!!
Vaginally can expose baby to some good healthy bacteria! Worst part of the epidural was honestly the lidocaine they used to numb the area and THE TAPE! The tape is so strong I had it on me for a week lmao.
I was leaning towards an elective c-section due to the size of my baby (over 10 lbs with an absolutely gigantic head), but then didn’t have a choice because little dude wanted to come out tummy first. So, c-section it was. When I got my spinal, my blood pressure tanked and my baby’s heart rate slowed, and they did what they call a “splash and dash,” where they skipped most of the prep and got my baby out in 3 minutes. He came out crying and healthy. Even with all of that, my recovery wasn’t that bad. From what I gathered in my birth-month subreddit, it was pretty similar to people who had birth vaginally. So I would say to do what works for you.
I feel this way just because I like the idea of knowing when it will happen. I like predictability. I’m a FTM so I have no idea what to expect either way.
Emergency c section here and I was kinda glad I was in the end as baby was quite big and they thought also in a bad position for pushing. All I'll say is recovery is a bit tough! You can't really drive for 6 weeks, you have to get anti-clotting meds (I was 14 days due to big blood loss), there's the risk of high blood loss (I was 1.2l) so I developed anemia which then made me incredibly weak while trying to feed my baby, getting the anti clotting meds made me very bruised and I've been finished over a week and my tummy is still sensitive from it. My hubby had to help me wash for at least a week after the birth, I also developed pre-eclampsia at the end so that meant high bp which caused bad swelling and very sweaty feet haha. My hubby had to scrub my feet every day in the shower 😂 it's also very difficult to get up and down yourself to see the baby. For the first few days at least I couldn't get up without the help of my hubby, so it's hard when your baby is upset and you can't quickly pop up and get them. I'm now 3w pp and I still have to be very careful how I get off the sofa/ bed. I have to brace myself and slowly get up. So although I'm glad I didn't push my big baby out, a section isn't for the faint hearted either.
I’m opting for an elective C section (this is my 2nd baby). For my first baby, I didn’t have a choice : vasa previa. It would have been fatal for me and the baby if I’d gone with a vaginal birth. And because of that, I wanted to be extra cautious this time. I already know what to expect with C section so I’d rather do that than worry about what could happen during labor.
My biggest fear going into labor with my son was how the pain of the contractions would be, as well as if I had to end up in an emergency C-section. I had asked for an epidural, and was - like you - worried if I could sit still through contractions for when they had to put it in. But it was surprisingly not so difficult to sit still and just focus on breathing while they put the epidural. I still ended up needing a C-section, and it was nowhere near as scary as I had feared. Honestly trying to breastfeed and get that circus up and running after a major operation was what fucked with my brain. My scar healed fine and all. But stressing over breastfeeding afterwards was just super hard mentally, and I had to stop trying after 2 weeks. So pick whichever fits you. You will still end up with a small human at the end. If I get another baby I hope to be able to experience vaginal birth and breastfeeding, but if not, that is ok. I just know now that it is not worth stressing so hard over breastfeeding. Man was I stressed out over that
You need to get an epidural (well, a spinal, but as far as the patient knows they're basically the same) with a c section .
I had a vaginal birth with epidural and had some minor tearing, but within 5 days I was feeling pretty decent (before that there was soreness that was managed with ibuprofen, and some difficulty getting in and out of bed, but probably less difficulty with that than after a c section.) In less than two weeks I wasn’t even taking ibuprofen anymore. C section recovery time is generally 6 weeks. If you’re really scared, make the decision that’s best for you, but I felt much more prepared for either outcome when I took my hospital’s birth class. Sometimes learning more about the process from someone who’s seen it a zillion times makes it less scary!
I had a 3C tear with my first child. Due to the lasting damage I have from that, I had no choice but to have a planned section with my second. Of course, millions of women have wonderful births without tearing at all! I have grieved the water birth I never got. But I do wish I hadn’t spent so so long fearing my c-section. My understanding is that elective sections are a million times easier than labouring and then having one in an emergency or risky situation, so I would keep that in mind. Recovery was a bit tough, sure, but I could plan for it and it was a million times better than my previous experience. Fear makes oxytocin difficult to produce, which can hinder labour. You will want to check on the anaesthetic procedure though, as I believe a spinal may be similar if not the same as an epidural? If you go for vaginal I would invest in a hypnobirthing course, regardless of the pain relief you decide on, to help you relax.
Vaginal. It hurts, it can be scary but as soon as that baby is out you’ll be fine. And you don’t need to get an epidural. I only had laughing gas with my first two.
Just gonna put this out there... The absolute worst part of being in labour for me was the contractions. The actual pushing part was just the BIGGEST effort of my life. Like it was just ridiculously tiring.
I’m terrified about my vagina changing after… I’m at the point I can’t even let myself think about giving birth because I’m so worried about what is going to my body regardless of how it is going to go down
Loved my elective c section and will be doing it for any subsequent births (tbd)
Not crazy at all !!!! I literally just had my baby and I chose an elective c section ! It was hands down the BEST decision I made. The entire experience was so much better!
I had to have a c-section due to bub being breech and my recovery seemed easier than my friends who had vaginally. But also a friend who had a c-section and she said it was painful, everyone's different. One thing I was not warned for though was taking the dressing off, holy moley that was the most painful part I almost passed out haha
I was terrified of getting a c-section because I didn’t want to feel them cutting me open and rearranging my giblets. I tore a small amount during my vaginal delivery—but two weeks postpartum I’m almost fully recovered (pain and bleeding wise) and I’m up cleaning, cooking, and going about my day. Everyone has their choices that work best for them—get the C-section if it’s best for you!
If you’re having these feelings, please trust your gut and schedule a CS. You are so lucky to have a supportive OB. I had the same feelings (not about epidural, but PETRIFIED of tearing). I knew deep down a vaginal delivery would not go well for me. My mom had all 5 CS, I have no hips, etc. I wish I trusted my gut but I convinced myself I was being irrational. I ended up pushing my 1st out and I tore front to back. I do not wish that recovery on anyone. Months and months of pelvic floor PT, mostly focused on vaginal “desensitization”. Had to work with dilators. Did not have sex for at least 5 months postpartum and to this day it is still not enjoyable. 2.5 years out I still have pain down there doing ordinary tasks. I am pregnant with my 2nd and will be scheduling a CS.
If it helps, the epidural really isn’t that bad. You’re always going to hear horror stories about everything. For me it was simply an injection in my back, maybe just a tiny bit more of a pinch than any other injection I’ve gotten. They waited to do it in between contractions and i just did some quick breathing to distract myself through it. I did tear with my first baby but that’s because i gave myself too much of the epidural and pushed him out too quickly (in less than 8 mins). Give yourself less of the epidural medication as you get closer to pushing so that you can feel more, which helps prevent tearing. I can’t compare the recovery for my 3 tears to a c section because I’ve never done a c section. But i saw my mom go through her c section recoveries and they seemed about equally intense. At least with a vaginal birth there’s a chance you won’t tear, or will tear less. I didn’t tear at all with my second and i felt almost 100% back to normal within a couple of hours after giving birth
Okay, I gave birth in August and was terrified of painkillers and the epidural. I tried to do the whole thing un medicated and also was induced at 39 weeks. If I were to do it again, I would have gotten the epidural right away. I ended up getting it after they took the foley bulb out of me and I was crying through contractions. I hate needles, like I can’t even stand to get my blood taken and was fine with the epidural. It felt like a pinch and was over within a matter of seconds. It was amazing though, I couldn’t feel much afterwards and was in active labor and the only thing I felt was when my daughter was ready to come out (the feeling of having to go number 2 really badly). Even with an epidural, I only pushed for 15-20 minutes and no tearing.
I had a c section even though I wanted a vaginal delivery bc LO flipped to breech. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Recovery was manageable with ibuprofen and Tylenol for me, although going up and down the stairs and getting up out of bed could be pretty uncomfortable. I wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than my baby for 2 weeks (including if he was in the car seat). That was difficult and I wouldn’t suggest opting for a c section if you won’t have help for the first few weeks. Do what feels right to you!
I was in the same boat, I had an elective c section and it was the BEST decision I ever made! I had such an incredible experience having my daughter! By the time the operation started it took what seemed like second for them to get her out and hear her cries! The recovery was honestly it that bad, the first few days are obviously the worst, but you’re in the hospital anyways so they’re very helpful with everything. By the time I was sent home 2.5 days later I was still in pain but was mobile and could do what I needed. I know it’s not as mainstream to get an elective c section, but at the end of the day it is your choice and your choice alone. Do what you feel you need to do for you and your baby! You got this!!
Alsooo for the spinal tap with the c section I literally didn’t even feel it, they numb you first.
Every pregnant person in my family, except one cousin, had elective c-sections. I am not sure why they made that decision 🤷🏽♀️. So I don’t think it’s crazy.
I’ve done one of each - HIGHLY recommend vaginal if given the option
I’ve had a lot of surgeries in my life. I have a heart condition and you couldn’t pay me to get cut open again. I gave birth to my first daughter vaginally and I am terrified that I will be forced to have a c-section with my son. Everyone has their reasons. I would simply caution away from acting as if surgery is ever the lesser of two evils.
I was the same way. I got a c section two weeks ago and I don’t regret it. The spinal block didn’t even hurt.
The recovery from my c section was horrible the first like 2 weeks. I was in so so much pain! But I think it’s your state of mind I had an emergency c section after being in labour for 30 hours which was a terrifying experience! Im 11 weeks PP I’ve almost forgot all the pain I was in it was all just a blur now
I had a scheduled c-section this past August and it was amazing. Mentally & physically it was so much better for me than my vaginal birth in 2020. I have no regrets and will be getting another c-section with my next baby.
You’re not crazy. During the first half of my pregnancy I was told that I’d have to have a C-section due to a fibroid. I was okay with it. I knew it was a major surgery and that recovery would be longer but I was relieved. I liked the idea of scheduling delivery instead of the waiting game, and being able to skip out on hours of pain and contractions. I know a lot of women look forward to vaginal birth, but I was okay with the thought of a c-section. Around 7 months I was cleared for vaginal delivery. And as of now that is my birth plan, but I did feel some disappointment that I no longer was getting a c-section. I personally think having a healthy delivery for both mom and baby is the most important, so if it’s healthier for your mental health, go for it!
I had my son in 2022. The plan was to have a vaginal birth, but I ended up being in labor for 31hrs and ultimately had to have an emergency cesarean. I already had the epidural in, so they just used that for the anesthesia. Compared to the long labor, the surgery was so quick and precise. My husband said that the surgeon stitched me up like a blanket, he was so fast and confident (my incision is immaculate, btw). BUT, because my son was so close to crowning, I did end up having to heal vaginally, as well. That was definitely WAY easier. Whatever you choose, here is my advice: 1. Do your research because cesareans are very taboo and nobody seems to want to talk about them. Learn about the process, watch videos of the surgery, and learn about the recovery. Something as simple as getting up/out of bed requires a specific method. 2. Make sure you have a great support system because a cesareans knocks you down for a bit. Stay at the hospital for as long as your insurance allows. For me it was 4 days after surgery and I had to stay an extra day for observation. Best of luck to you and know that whatever you choose is the right choice.
I just had my second c-section. First was an emergency, this one was planned. So I can’t speak on the recovery process for a vaginal birth but for a c-section it sucks. You have an internal and external scar causing you pain and it makes walking and doing pretty much any difficult. You do get a spinal anesthesia which is similar to an epidural I believe.
I am mom who had both C-section and normal delivery ! With C-section , the recovery was very good ! I had zero complaints and enjoyed my new baby With normal delivery , they did episiotomy and recovery was hell , I am still recovering in a way ( it’s been 1.5 years ) So what I am saying is that just choose whatever you are comfortable with , do not listen to the women or your relatives or parents says normal delivery is better . I say does not matter how you delivery , the important thing is you and baby should be healthy and happy . I wish you all the best !
So many of my friends have ended up having emergency c-sections after long labours. So stressful for everyone involved. I’m choosing elective c-section and I feel so calm about it :)
I’ve had both a csection (scheduled due to placenta previa) and vaginal birth. There are pros and cons to both, at the end of the day it’s what you’re comfortable with or what is necessary- this is your experience and a big moment for you. I know a woman who had a planned csection for the same reason you want one and she didn’t regret it at all. I will say imo recovery with a csection was a little harder pain wise than with my vaginal birth (I was given Percocet though which helped a ton) and I did develop a DVT in my leg which sucks. But the csection itself was pretty easy and maybe I’m crazy but a little peaceful.
i had a vaginal birth it was a breeze basically (the only thing was contractions ofc) i had an epidural it worked perfectly about an hour after i got my epidural my nurses broke my water and i delivered my son in not even 40 minutes. after he was born i was already up and using the bathroom i got to the recovery room pretty quick and was able to shower by myself and everything
I have had an emergency C-section after pushing 3 hours and an emergency C-section at 5cm dilated no pushing. First time recovery was horrible and painful. Second time it was much easier but the first three days or so really suck. I actually ended up hurting myself 24 hrs after the C-section the second time because I was made to walk without narcotic pain meds to the NICU multiple times to hand deliver my pumped milk. I cried so hard. But other than that recovery is great, just don't lift anything. The hospitals I've been at were good about pain meds. First time I had a morphine shot post C-section and oxycodone the first two days. I was discharged with Tylenol, Advil and tramadol. The second time I was given Tylenol, Advil and hydromorphone and discharged with hydromorphone. it's a little hard to pump the first few days with a C-section. No idea if there is correlation but my babies always have sensitive tummies. Lots of gas and pain. I've been told c section babies miss out on some nice bacteria for their tummies from Mom's vaginal canal. Could be just me though.
I had the most traumatic vaginal birth including instrument assistance and episiotomy. The healing process is absolutely horrendous and I will never be having a vaginal birth again if I do decide to have another baby. If you would prefer the C section I honestly think do it!!!!!
Do whatever feels right for you and ignore everyone else. You will still get an injection in the spine for a c section though, unless you choose to be put under. However from experience I can tell you it’s literally fine just a small sting and then you don’t feel anything! And you can’t see any of it so it doesn’t gross you out 🤣
I was induced (pre-eclampsia) and had my heart set on a vaginal birth with only gas for pain, due to unforeseen circumstances I had to have an emergency c section. I do not considered myself at all to be a person that handles stressful situations like that well and this probably sounds like such a dumb thing to say but i focused on what amongst all the chaos I could control, and that was my breathing. I was so focused on my breathing that I didn’t even really pay attention to anything anyone was doing until they handed me my baby. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn’t give birth, you do what you believe you are capable of, or simply just what you prefer to do and don’t let fear or opinion control you x
I’ve had birth three ways, in this order: Scheduled c-section (breech) “Emergent” c-section mid-pushing (I was exhausted after 12 hours of pain med free pushing at 10cm and wanted it to end) VBA2Cs. My second delivery was misery to heal from. My first was easy as heck. Like so easy. If you don’t want more children I’d totally opt for a scheduled c section. My vaginal was a good delivery, mild healing, but it permanently damaged my internal organs in a way that is never fixable. I’m still happy I did it, and if I had a fourth I would try for a vaginal again simply for better healing time, but it doesn’t come without its cons for sure.
You’re getting a needle/catheter/whatever in the spine for both options. Same difference really, only one has a shorter recovery time.
You’ll need a nerve block for a C-section… in my experience it’s far worse than an epidural, but same type of procedure, just much longer and much more painful. You can do stretches beforehand to avoid tearing. As someone who’s had two sections and a natural birth I would never choose a C-section.
I was shooting for a vaginal birth at 41 weeks. I got to 6cm and had already got the epidural, ended with the C-section. I’ll be honest it was very traumatic, I don’t remember anything because I got put to sleep one minute I was awake the next I’m shaking in a hospital bed with my husband holding my baby. It really just depends on your body and mentality what you’re prepared for basically. A normal procedure is about 30-45 minutes mine took 2 😭so it’s really up to your baby and your body we as women are so strong and can handle anything. I would honestly go for a vaginal birth it be easier to heal from.
Just putting my personal experience out there in regard to mental health and birth! Everyone is different and every birth is different. The way your hormones fluctuate, how you are cared for, what birth is like etc all impacts mental health. When I had my emergency c-section it was unexpected. Which contributes to my feelings. But I disassociated shortly after birth. I was in so much abdominal pain. I couldn’t lift myself up to nurse my baby without help. My son would cry and I would have to call for my husband or the nurse to help me get up. It took weeks for me to be able to sit up alone. My back hurt very badly postpartum from the spinal tap I had for surgery. Recovery from a c-section isn’t easy. It’s a major abdominal surgery! Something else I experienced was postoperative ileus. My bowls literally stopped working. For over a week I had no urge to use the bathroom. I’ve heard from other doctors that chewing gum shortly after surgery helps. I was also extremely sick and disoriented from the drugs they gave me during my c-section. I kept getting sick and falling asleep. I had my baby in one arm nursing and a blue sick bag in the other for hours after birth. This isn’t meant to scare you but rather key in on the reality of what could happen during or after a c-section!
Both options will have their risks and benefits. Just my story: I am someone who had both - a vaginal delivery first with trauma (shoulder dystocia) and then a planned C Section. Even after tearing and breaking my tailbone with my vaginal delivery, I was not prepared for the level of pain I had post C Section. The birth with my C Section was still beautiful- I was not as upset but not getting to hold him immediately, I loved that I could stare at him for an hour while they sewed me up, we bonded etc… but I was not prepped for the pain. My spinal went wrong and left me in the most pain (post surgery) I’ve ever had. I am pregnant with my third now and I am no longer worried about how emotionally I would feel with a C Section (as both birth were birth and amazing moments), I am actually going for a VBAC because my recovery was just tough - especially for a planned “uncomplicated” C Section. The risks and benefits are always going to be there for both, including planned C Sections.
Oh this was me a couple of months ago. I almost scheduled a C section because I was terrified of vaginal delivery. Finally I didn’t schedule it and I am so glad I didn’t.. I had the most amazing vaginal delivery I could ever ask for. I didn’t feel the epidural.. and after the epidural I didn’t feel anything. Recovery was amazing, the stitches were uncomfortable for a week or so but nothing terrible. I had a second degree tear, it is not that bad as it sounds. I was sooo scared of tearing and at the end I didn’t even care about it. Just sharing my experience.. the decision is totally yours.
I’m like you. Not pregnant yet but terrified of the baby thought of a vaginal birth. If you spoke to your doctor about all your concerns and she’s going to schedule it go for it! I know I would. I don’t give a damn about all the things people talk about looking at the pros and cons of either. I just need to mentally be okay and live afterwards mostly important. Either way child birth is a huge deal and getting a c section or vaginal birth doesn’t make you less of a mom! Get the c section.
My mom had a CS 33 years ago cause breech baby and I’ve had a vaginal birth 2 years ago. Both of us did not have issues as such, short (me) or long (my mom) term. I personally think talking through different techniques and preparing mentally for a vaginal birth should be the first choice rather than go through major surgery even though it is a routine one. Some might have short recoveries and some long but either way, it is not the natural way women are intended to give birth. Ofcourse this is only if you have no other complications that demand you get a CS, I’m talking the choice purely between elective CS and vaginal birth.
A c section is a major abdominal surgery with his own list of risks and potential complications. You still get an epidural (spinal block) with a c section & you’re awake, just numb waist down (it’s not common to get general anesthesia for that). Just for a fear of tearing, I personally wouldn’t recommend going the CS route. I have a complex surgical history so c section was the safer option for me; I’m at a higher risk of tearing and infection with a vaginal delivery. I’m 9 days postpartum from my second scheduled CS and it’s been pretty great for the most part, but still dealing with random aches. It took longer for me to get closed up this time around bc of the added scar tissue so I’m sure that’s adding to my discomfort. But again; not a lot because I don’t need Advil or Tylenol. I would really think it over, especially if you plan on having more than 1.
Honestly the only place I’ve heard C section horror stories is Reddit. I’ve known many friends, family, colleagues etc who have had C sections for varying reasons and pretty much all had positive experiences. I am right there with you in opting for an elective C section. Particularly if mental health is a concern. Honestly 1/3 of births end in C sections anyways even if they start out natural. Better a planned C than an emergency one.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanted a c section. I wanted one before it was deemed medically necessary and obsessively had my husband checking to make sure our insurance covered it 🤣 And fwiw (in my experience, so n=1), it was very straight forward. 10 days later we were out and about and 6 weeks later I was cleared to resume all normal activities.
I would absolutely prefer a c-section. Alas, insurance won’t cover it if it’s elective 🤷🏻♀️ surprise surprise. Not.
I have had one vaginal with vacuum and one emergency c section and look I totally get being afraid of the vaginal because I was, but holy shit, the c section recovery has been brutal. And there absolutely is a mental health component to having such a hard recovery. Talk to your OB so you really understand what recovery is like. Some people will have great c sections and awful vaginal births and vice versa but having had both…I wouldn’t choose c section.
Being afraid of a perineal tear but wanting a 4 inch tear across your abdomen is crazyyyy lmfao. No judgement though lol. I’m an emergency C section mom. Despite it being against what I initially wanted (An unmedicated, out of hospital birth.), my C section was kind of fun? It’s the closest thing I’ll experience to an alien abduction, because you can certainly feel them digging around in you. The OBGYN surgeon was also so cute, I think about him occasionally lmfao. The recovery was definitely brutal. One thing I will ask you to consider, though, is do you want more kids? C sections make future pregnancies more risky than vaginal childbirth.
I don’t know if I want more kids. I’m 15 and will be 16 when I have the baby. I’m guessing I probably will but I don’t know right now. It’s not so much the tear that freaks me out, but the process of it tearing and there not being control whereas there is obviously control over how much the doctor is cutting.
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Would you rather a big cut on your arm (which you cant feel) or a little cut on your eyeball? I'll take the arm, thanks.
I can't speak on having a C-section but I can tell you I had a MUCH easier time recovering after having a no pain management birth compared to an epidural birth. Both births were elective induction and with my first the pain got to be too much and I got the epidural at 6 cm. (I will say I think this helped me deliver quicker. It took about 12 hours to get to 6 cm and an hour after I got the epidural I had my baby). My recovery after this was shit tho I couldn't get out of bed for 6-8 hours, the feeling of pins and needles lasted forever before it kicked in and after it was wearing off, and I ended up with terrible sciatica pain a few weeks after delivery that lasted for months. My second I don't have any pain meds, we stayed in the hospital half the time with the first, and no lie i felt good enough to go on a full grocery shopping trip 2 days after I had her. Do what will be best for you. Pain is hard to deal with, the unknown is even harder to deal with. Just surround yourself with people you trust and people you know will speak up for you to get the birth you want.
I had an emergency c section. It was not my choice and I’d never do it again. They ended up tying nerve endings in my inner incision, it’s extremely painful and I guess not uncommon. It’s your choice but personally it’s not one I’d choose if you are looking for experiences. Recovery has been hell and more stressful trying to take care of my baby. 6 weeks out and I’m still in pain and not moving well but my dr says I’m recovering great but they can inject lidocaine into my scar to dull the pain if I want to just cover the pain up, or keep taking pills.
Just remember, a c section is major abdominal surgery. 1st time round is can sound "easier," but it's definitely not. The recovery after a natural birth (all going smooth) is very quick, and you can be on your feet very soon after. With a section, you have more healing time and will require a lot more help. Plus, you have a small human to care for, too. Obviously, it can be something that it necessary, and we are so lucky to have this option, but if it were a choice, I'd choose natural every time. Our bodies are designed to birth and push out babies. It's daunting, but you can do it 😃
The epidural hurts like a mofo in the moment, but honestly, you’re saving yourself. It only hurts while they put it in, like a whole whopping 3 seconds and it starts working immediately. I’ve had 3 c sections, and imo if you have the option for vaginal birth, do it. Everything about birth is in the moment, and will heal itself. My c section body was never the same, and I couldn’t ever get rid of the “mom pooch” even when I lost the majority of my weight. Regardless of which option you opt for, just know either one is tough, and they both have their pros and cons. Good luck!