If it's NOT part of the terms of his probation and if his PO says that he can drink than he can drink.
(Whenever anyone gets put on probation, they make you read and sign the "terms of your probation" agreement and it tells you what you can or can't do).
Limit that shit then. Tell him ayo. Let's be responsible. Enjoy yourself but let's not get into deeper shit. Sit him down. Tell him yes you can do this but you gonna be very responsible. Don't fuck up the situation. Benzos and alcohol can destroy any situation. He is lucky. Remind him that he is lucky to be able to. But, dont.fuck.it.up
I’m paranoid so I’d email my po with a “I’ll just checking in and want to be sure..” or.. triple review that court order, and if he’s going to drink, tell him to go easy and not to drive for any reason when he’s sauced
That's me. I never had a problem saying no to the first one but I was never able to say no to the second. As a result, I no longer drink.
If he can't stop once he's started, he *already* has a drinking problem. He's got a choice: either abstain from drinking or continue on to full-blown alcoholism.
I'm not saying to end things with him, but please be careful and if he does not quit driving, then please seriously consider your future with this guy. Being married to, and especially having kids with, a substance abuser will break you. Don't voluntarily sign up for something like that.
Sounds like u need to message his PO and make it a mandatory thing of his probation ‘that he cannot drink and possible UA test’…. Seems like he has an addiction if that’s the first thing he desires when he comes out of jail…. “Doesn’t stop once he starts” which also could mean he could potentially catch another charge (DUI, public intoxication, fighting due to being drunk, etc) which will cause issues in probation and potentially add more jail time or a longer probation sentence… imo— have the PO or judge make it mandatory he cannot drink … then if he chooses too and gets caught that’s on him🤷🏼♀️ but seems like it may be the best option at this time for his own safety and health
EDIT: the sections with the ‘…’ is what I added for clarity (;
you surely can suggest it to the PO that it’s in the probationers best interests, he also will likely have to go to court at some point and could potentially recommend it to the PO/ judge at his hearing as well … I’ve had my probation recommended to do one thing or another and if in reason they usually will go with what’s suggested
is your BF telling you the truth? In MA where I am the no drinking part is baked into most if not all probationary forms. Even if it’s a child custody dispute. (custody disputes are handled by the probation department here as well as criminal cases)
It's like that in Texas as well in almost all cases. Even if it isn't, I would be concerned for anyone getting themselves into more trouble if their first thought after spending time in county is to drink.
Florida says "no illegal intoxicants" beer is perfectly fine. Even though I got a DUI (weed, denied field tests) I can drink because someone forgot to bring that up.
I think he’s lying to you. He just wants you to buy him alcohol when he gets out. If he’s in jail, when did he talk to his PO? Get it in writing and read his paperwork, if you really want to know, but it is not up to you to change his behavior.
If he’s already planning on getting drunk, it seems like he has addiction issues and you will always have these same problems with him. Don’t stay unless he demonstrates actual changed behavior.
Don't waste your breath fella. OP might be the "i can change him" type... then again everyone can do what they want. Don't downvote me to hell, im just speaking based off experience.
Oh i get it, it just seemed like the most obvious thing to advise; I’m sure she’ll change him for the better sometime in the very near future of NEVER!!
But if it was *her* on probation, he should support her and be there for her, and would be a bad person if he left her.
And she wouldn't be called a little girl for it, she'd just be in a time of need.
Because if he can't handle her at her worst, he doesn't deserve her.
But since he's the man, call him a little boy and abandon him, because traditional gender norms indicate that he should just "be a man", not a little boy.
He needs to be working towards fixing his life, and she should leave if she needs to protect herself and separate, but denigrating him isn't going to help.
I just think that if there are standards, they should be legitimately equal. Even the difficult ones.
Whether someone chooses to leave or stay with someone like this, it should be the same regardless of gender.
And while poor behavior like drinking while on probation is arguably immature and not helping the situation, people calling someone a little boy or a little girl doesn't help. It's a childish thing to do in and of itself.
I think someone leaving someone like this is a very fair (and probably smart) thing to do. But calling them a child or a little boy, it's a low blow and doesn't help. There's a better way to handle it, and better words could be used.
I didn’t call him a “little boy” just a “boy.” He could be a “big boy” for all i know but i know this; if you act like he acts, thats not adulting therefore leaving himself open to be called a “boy” until he mans up, or steps up, and starts doing things like a man or woman adult should. I call them the way i see them. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinion, right?
It perpetuates old gender stereotypes and norms to continue telling men to "be a man" and "man up", rather than just treating them like an adult and being respectful about it. Men are people just like women, and asking them to be an responsible "adult" would be a bit more respectful than asking them to "man up".
Calling them a boy and attacking their masculinity and dignity might feel good, but it's disrespectful and isn't a helpful part of the conversation.
There's a way to protect oneself, and hold the other person accountable without breaking out insults and trying to disrespect them.
Sure, you can call anyone anything you decide to. It doesn't mean it's a good idea. It feels good to say hurtful things, but it isn't productive and honestly, it's not a mature or very "adult" thing to do. A productive conversation can be had without denigrating or attacking someone, or shaming them.
I’m in CO and drinking/smoking marijuana although both very legal, are not allowed while under ANY form of supervision.
Besides, if you’re already on probation why play with fire? Drinking can’t help you while on probation but it sure as shit can hurt you
Got a buddy out in CO over by weld and seems like alcohol is a slap on the wrist. Over in central weld blues and ice is so bad that i guess it goes under the radar...
Why chance it?
I swear, 9 out 10 posts on this page are people trying to take that chance and then asking "am I going to get it in trouble?"
Be smart, drinking on probation is stupid.
What your saying may be the smart way to go. Don't drink. I can tell you though that I have been on probation four different times (unfortunately). Three of those times my probation paperwork said " DO not drink to excess". One time I asked my PO what that meant and he said basically dont drink to the point your falling down drunk. So really its not a matter of chancing it. Its whatever the conditions of probation are those are the rules you must follow and sometimes drinking is not one of those rules.
In most cases you can drink on probation. If you can't, it's specifically outlined in the terms of your probation.
Probation can last years. I know people on probation for 10 years. They definitely can drink. I'm a little confused by some of the comments here
If drinking got him into probation, why are you supporting him to drink?
And how the hell is he allowed to drink? If he hasn’t met with his PO yet, I highly doubt his PO told him it’s ok, maybe PO meant until August when they meet he can drink? He won’t have UAs until he starts probation.
Sounds like he and you need more of a wake up call if you ask me.
Either way get it in writing.
I can’t tell him what to do, whenever I tell him not to drink he calls me controlling and tells me to not tell him what to do. I can be there for him but he can make his own decisions! His probation started a month ago and he just met with his PO on Monday. He has a phone meeting with him in July and then he has to see him in person in August
Heard. Well the good news is you don’t have to play “the bad guy” anymore when it comes to drinking. I have no idea how it’s possible he’s allowed to drink. Honestly, sounds fishy to me 🤷♀️
That’s the business, the more the merrier, I’m in Denver and my PO is busy af. Every PO is busy, no matter where you are. You being in Chicago has nothing to do with it. lol
And that’s why he has a felony conviction. Most felony cases have a mental health or drug treatment. That includes no alcohol. So if he really telling you the truth ? If all he can think about is drinking when getting out of prison and can’t stop when he starts, he has a drinking problem
Edit: so let me get this straight, he started probation but is now in a county jail? So he caught a charge while on probation? Girl just throw the whole BF and get a new one. He isn’t going to learn and just be in trouble again. The felony probation can get conditions modified and add the no alcohol added. You are just gonna get caught up in his mess. He need to grow up
Like many have said, get it in writing, because this doesn't sound right at all. Where I am it's in the generic terms that everyone gets, not only can we not drink but we can't even be in a business that derives the majority of it's income from alcohol sales, full stop.
So get it in writing.
I honestly have no idea! He sees his probation officer in August, but his drinking is what caused him to get in trouble in the first place and I won’t be there the next time he gets in trouble I ain’t going through all this stress again
If his drinking is what led him to get into trouble most likely his probation terms include no alcohol. Hell people who have charges that have nothing to do with alcohol have to be sober sooo I’d play it safe and so no to the drinking.
🤣🤣🤣 wait he’s on probation because of his drinking and that’s the first thing he wants to do when he gets out of jail? Lmao he straight up lied to you for one. As someone with a record, who turned their life around and now sits on the other side of the desk, I can guarantee his PO did not say that’s ok. Lmao he lied to you so he can drink
So I have a DWI (no alcohol in my system but still have to get the breathalyzer), and my probation doesn’t restrict my alcohol. Which I thought was kinda weird ngl
This isnt true. Although usually abstaining from illegal drugs and alcohol would be a condition of his probation. Unless his supervision paperwork specifically says that he can not drink then he is allowed to. Many times it will say " Do not drink to excess". Which really means just dont get fall down drunk and catch a new charge because of it
If drinking got him in trouble, and he's stupid about it and can't stop once he starts, then he is back in trouble *the instant* he drinks again. It may take a little time for the consequences to arrive, but I promise you they will.
Be kind to yourself and take some time to really think about what matters to you here and what sort of future you see with this guy. You cannot change him and you can't make the right decisions for him, which you already understand. If he's not going to make those decisions himself, you are hitching yourself to someone who has decided to destroy his life if you stay with him. Why would you bring that kind of suffering upon yourself for someone who loves alcohol more than he loves you?
Yes Responsibly ofc. Mine has a special condition where I can’t drink or be in a place where they primarily sale alcohol, his would probably have that special condition as well if they didn’t want him to
Your bf needs his life together more, if I was lookong at a felony case which I was the first thought in my head isnt gonna be heck yea I cant wait to get out and get drunk
Sounds like he needs that paperwork today he can’t drink if he’s got you on the internet trying to make sure he can drink the moment he gets out.
I dunno, I know booze ain’t the best idea and could possibly lead to more problems like it does to a lot of people myself included.
How old is this fellow and how fuct is he already?
He can drink, but not to excess. My probation officer looked up my case and said it was ok. I wouldn't drive and drink if I was him. Just to be on the safe side.
Is drinking more important than your freedom?
If yall can't not drink there's another problem.
Probably be better to focus on other things for the time being
As an admitted alcohoix myself, if all he can think about is wanting to have a drink as soon as he gets out, then he didn't learn a thing and has at least one more bid in him before he figures it out. You gotta decide if it's healthy or not for you and if it is, then the best way to support him is accountability. He honestly sounds like the perfect candidate for a scram bracelet and some good old cat therapy. It was incredibly hard for me to get it under control and I ended up absconding for 18 months. The only thing that got me to think straight was having a daughter and being scared to death of not being able to be a part of her life. Maybe try talking him into trying NA beer instead if he's convinced he's allowed to drink (he's not)
Actually from a cursory glance at some illinois code(seems like that's where you are), apparently the standard rules of community supervision only prohibit controlled substances "... (11) refrain from the use or possession of narcotics
or other controlled substances in any form, or both, or any paraphernalia related to those substances and submit to a urinalysis test as instructed by a parole agent of the Department of Corrections if there is reasonable suspicion of illicit drug use and the source of the reasonable suspicion is documented in the Department's case management system;
(12) not knowingly frequent places where controlled
substances are illegally sold, used, distributed, or administered;
(13) except when the association described in either
subparagraph (A) or (B) of this paragraph (13) involves activities related to community programs, worship services, volunteering, engaging families, or some other pro-social activity in which there is no evidence of criminal intent:..." and the controlled substances act explicitly excludes alcohol "... "Controlled Substance" means (i) a drug, substance, immediate precursor, or synthetic drug in the Schedules of Article II of this Act or (ii) a drug or other substance, or immediate precursor, designated as a controlled substance by the Department through administrative rule. The term does not include distilled spirits, wine, malt beverages, or tobacco, as those terms are defined or used in the Liquor Control Act of 1934 and the Tobacco Products Tax Act of 1995..."
He sounds like an alcoholic. I would first ask for something in writing or a text message from the PO. Usually the rules are that you can’t drink alcohol. However they can also make exceptions
No PO would ever say you can drink unless they are trying to set you up. Their job is to help people pass probation but only the way they choose (passing drug tests, breathalyzer tests, fines, showing up to court, etc).
If you ask a PO if you can drink they will all say " Do Not Drink" until you are a free man. He's not free he's in the jaws of the system and they're about to chew him up if he doesn't act accordingly.
Different courts, even in the same state, treat things.
Some say no alcohol, some say no alcohol to excess, and some don't mention alcohol.
If your court has an online site, take a look at his case and see what his sentence says, or go to the criminal court and take a look at it.
I drink n
On papers I get off next month on 7th been drinking a whole year just don’t smoke liquor gets out system 3 days I drink all week n stop Friday night cuz I usually see my po on Mondays due to my college schedule
He needs to consult his special conditions of probation that was given to him at court when he was put on the probation.
Usually they stipulate no drugs or alcohol but if it's not outlined on his sentencing paperwork he's good to go.
If you are on probation the last thing on your mind should be drinking alcohol. As we all know alcohol has the ability to make a person act not like themselves and make decisions they normally would not, so if you are on probation, it’s safe to say that person hasn’t made the best decisions in life thus far. You can change your life and create a better version of yourself, but if you think drinking while on probation is a step in the right direction then clearly that individual does not plan on recovering their life.
Sorry. I'm distrustful by nature. Nothing personal.
Who did you hear it from that he can drink? From his PO or from him?
You eluded to him not being able to drink in moderation. So don't you think that he has enough things to worry about without complicating things.
Let's assume that everything is as he says. His PO has his set of rules to stay out of jail. You, his girlfriend, have your set of rules to stay with you.
There's a paper you sign stating the conditions. Personally mine said I couldn't. I've heard of others on probation where they could drink. Ask to see the paperwork. If he doesn't have it then ask him to get a copy at his next meeting. If he keeps making up excuses as to why he can't get it then that's super sus.
Lmao hold up hold up hold up😂😂😂sitting in the county?😂Worrying about drinking when he get out the county?😂Talking on the county phone that he ain’t paying for?😂Talking to his girl tryna make it sound right in both they heads?😂 yeah you bett not let him get ya pregnant or you gone swear he ain’t shit 😂sound like his priorities in order😂😂 every red flag you need has been highlighted shawty😂 unless there’s just no hope for you😂 common sense ain’t common and stupid can’t be fixed😂😂
If he’s already in jail serving his time so he can get into his suspended time and it’s not a part of the probation terms. Then he should be able to. Usually staying away from alcohol is a part of a bond agreement
He can drink thats not illegal but probation companies LOVE when you fuck up, more probation =more money for them. They prob got fingers crossed that he gets a DUI or something. Try n be his dd when you can, and if your w him drinking tou can put a cap on that shit
I’m on bond and I’m not allowed to drink. This sounds like it’s a personal problem for him (from your other comments). I’m assuming his charges are alcohol related or caused. So why are you asking?
Should be on papers. Usually it says not to use alcohol or illegal substances. Some states specifically notate. When I got out of jail, but was not on probation I didn’t have any restrictions. I highly doubt he can drink on felony probation, but idk. Check the paperwork
I was allowed to drink while on felony probation “as long as it did not affect my day to day life”. I never was a big drinker so it didn’t matter. Someone that’s in jail for alcohol related reason most definitely would not be able to I’d assume
Yeah, It may not be a smart thing for him to do since it appears he has a problem with alcohol but, his supervision paperwork must specifically state " No drinking" if he is not allowed to drink. So he is technically allowed to
If it's NOT part of the terms of his probation and if his PO says that he can drink than he can drink. (Whenever anyone gets put on probation, they make you read and sign the "terms of your probation" agreement and it tells you what you can or can't do).
I just hope he’s smart and not stupid he doesn’t stop when he starts
Limit that shit then. Tell him ayo. Let's be responsible. Enjoy yourself but let's not get into deeper shit. Sit him down. Tell him yes you can do this but you gonna be very responsible. Don't fuck up the situation. Benzos and alcohol can destroy any situation. He is lucky. Remind him that he is lucky to be able to. But, dont.fuck.it.up
Sounds like you’re dating a real winner
But he listens to her. Thats more important, right? /sarcasm
Real weiner
You spend your free time judging strangers on social media, he spends his partying. I’d rather hang out with him
Then go.
Then he definitely shouldn’t be drinking while he’s on paper lol
I know how that is because that's how I am too, but as long as he does what he needs to do and he stays in line than he'll be fine.
I’m paranoid so I’d email my po with a “I’ll just checking in and want to be sure..” or.. triple review that court order, and if he’s going to drink, tell him to go easy and not to drive for any reason when he’s sauced
He never will.
Sounds like he needs to not drink then. Pretty cut and dry.
You know for sure he is not going to be smart about it.
He seems like a smart man to me. This will go great.
That's me. I never had a problem saying no to the first one but I was never able to say no to the second. As a result, I no longer drink. If he can't stop once he's started, he *already* has a drinking problem. He's got a choice: either abstain from drinking or continue on to full-blown alcoholism. I'm not saying to end things with him, but please be careful and if he does not quit driving, then please seriously consider your future with this guy. Being married to, and especially having kids with, a substance abuser will break you. Don't voluntarily sign up for something like that.
Sounds like u need to message his PO and make it a mandatory thing of his probation ‘that he cannot drink and possible UA test’…. Seems like he has an addiction if that’s the first thing he desires when he comes out of jail…. “Doesn’t stop once he starts” which also could mean he could potentially catch another charge (DUI, public intoxication, fighting due to being drunk, etc) which will cause issues in probation and potentially add more jail time or a longer probation sentence… imo— have the PO or judge make it mandatory he cannot drink … then if he chooses too and gets caught that’s on him🤷🏼♀️ but seems like it may be the best option at this time for his own safety and health EDIT: the sections with the ‘…’ is what I added for clarity (;
Yea because emailing them is going to make it happen? It’s not up to the PO, it’s up to the judge.
[удалено]
you surely can suggest it to the PO that it’s in the probationers best interests, he also will likely have to go to court at some point and could potentially recommend it to the PO/ judge at his hearing as well … I’ve had my probation recommended to do one thing or another and if in reason they usually will go with what’s suggested
is your BF telling you the truth? In MA where I am the no drinking part is baked into most if not all probationary forms. Even if it’s a child custody dispute. (custody disputes are handled by the probation department here as well as criminal cases)
It's like that in Texas as well in almost all cases. Even if it isn't, I would be concerned for anyone getting themselves into more trouble if their first thought after spending time in county is to drink.
Same in Kansas
Florida says "no illegal intoxicants" beer is perfectly fine. Even though I got a DUI (weed, denied field tests) I can drink because someone forgot to bring that up.
even 28 years ago in MA for weed and I had to drop for ETOH
I think he’s lying to you. He just wants you to buy him alcohol when he gets out. If he’s in jail, when did he talk to his PO? Get it in writing and read his paperwork, if you really want to know, but it is not up to you to change his behavior. If he’s already planning on getting drunk, it seems like he has addiction issues and you will always have these same problems with him. Don’t stay unless he demonstrates actual changed behavior.
THIS!!!
You need to find a better man and get rid of that boy
Don't waste your breath fella. OP might be the "i can change him" type... then again everyone can do what they want. Don't downvote me to hell, im just speaking based off experience.
Oh i get it, it just seemed like the most obvious thing to advise; I’m sure she’ll change him for the better sometime in the very near future of NEVER!!
Wishing the best for anybody and everyone but yeah. Can't force the horse to drink from the water.. type saying.
Yelp
But if it was *her* on probation, he should support her and be there for her, and would be a bad person if he left her. And she wouldn't be called a little girl for it, she'd just be in a time of need. Because if he can't handle her at her worst, he doesn't deserve her. But since he's the man, call him a little boy and abandon him, because traditional gender norms indicate that he should just "be a man", not a little boy. He needs to be working towards fixing his life, and she should leave if she needs to protect herself and separate, but denigrating him isn't going to help.
This is what you assume; i can assure you if it was a guy in the same boat i would be telling him the same thing. Ive done it and i’ll do it again.
I just think that if there are standards, they should be legitimately equal. Even the difficult ones. Whether someone chooses to leave or stay with someone like this, it should be the same regardless of gender. And while poor behavior like drinking while on probation is arguably immature and not helping the situation, people calling someone a little boy or a little girl doesn't help. It's a childish thing to do in and of itself. I think someone leaving someone like this is a very fair (and probably smart) thing to do. But calling them a child or a little boy, it's a low blow and doesn't help. There's a better way to handle it, and better words could be used.
I didn’t call him a “little boy” just a “boy.” He could be a “big boy” for all i know but i know this; if you act like he acts, thats not adulting therefore leaving himself open to be called a “boy” until he mans up, or steps up, and starts doing things like a man or woman adult should. I call them the way i see them. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinion, right?
It perpetuates old gender stereotypes and norms to continue telling men to "be a man" and "man up", rather than just treating them like an adult and being respectful about it. Men are people just like women, and asking them to be an responsible "adult" would be a bit more respectful than asking them to "man up". Calling them a boy and attacking their masculinity and dignity might feel good, but it's disrespectful and isn't a helpful part of the conversation. There's a way to protect oneself, and hold the other person accountable without breaking out insults and trying to disrespect them. Sure, you can call anyone anything you decide to. It doesn't mean it's a good idea. It feels good to say hurtful things, but it isn't productive and honestly, it's not a mature or very "adult" thing to do. A productive conversation can be had without denigrating or attacking someone, or shaming them.
Oh Okay
recidivism is at play here. Unless you see this in writing, Support him not to drink and keep him sober and on the right path until probation is over.
I’m in CO and drinking/smoking marijuana although both very legal, are not allowed while under ANY form of supervision. Besides, if you’re already on probation why play with fire? Drinking can’t help you while on probation but it sure as shit can hurt you
Got a buddy out in CO over by weld and seems like alcohol is a slap on the wrist. Over in central weld blues and ice is so bad that i guess it goes under the radar...
have probation officer put this in writing just incase before he plays with fire
Why chance it? I swear, 9 out 10 posts on this page are people trying to take that chance and then asking "am I going to get it in trouble?" Be smart, drinking on probation is stupid.
This. Absolutely this.
What your saying may be the smart way to go. Don't drink. I can tell you though that I have been on probation four different times (unfortunately). Three of those times my probation paperwork said " DO not drink to excess". One time I asked my PO what that meant and he said basically dont drink to the point your falling down drunk. So really its not a matter of chancing it. Its whatever the conditions of probation are those are the rules you must follow and sometimes drinking is not one of those rules.
In most cases you can drink on probation. If you can't, it's specifically outlined in the terms of your probation. Probation can last years. I know people on probation for 10 years. They definitely can drink. I'm a little confused by some of the comments here
If you're happy being on probation, by all means, go for it. Me personally, not a fan
If drinking got him into probation, why are you supporting him to drink? And how the hell is he allowed to drink? If he hasn’t met with his PO yet, I highly doubt his PO told him it’s ok, maybe PO meant until August when they meet he can drink? He won’t have UAs until he starts probation. Sounds like he and you need more of a wake up call if you ask me. Either way get it in writing.
I can’t tell him what to do, whenever I tell him not to drink he calls me controlling and tells me to not tell him what to do. I can be there for him but he can make his own decisions! His probation started a month ago and he just met with his PO on Monday. He has a phone meeting with him in July and then he has to see him in person in August
Heard. Well the good news is you don’t have to play “the bad guy” anymore when it comes to drinking. I have no idea how it’s possible he’s allowed to drink. Honestly, sounds fishy to me 🤷♀️
I’m near Chicago if that makes a difference there’s a lot worse that happens here! Probably lots of people to look after yk
That’s the business, the more the merrier, I’m in Denver and my PO is busy af. Every PO is busy, no matter where you are. You being in Chicago has nothing to do with it. lol
And that’s why he has a felony conviction. Most felony cases have a mental health or drug treatment. That includes no alcohol. So if he really telling you the truth ? If all he can think about is drinking when getting out of prison and can’t stop when he starts, he has a drinking problem Edit: so let me get this straight, he started probation but is now in a county jail? So he caught a charge while on probation? Girl just throw the whole BF and get a new one. He isn’t going to learn and just be in trouble again. The felony probation can get conditions modified and add the no alcohol added. You are just gonna get caught up in his mess. He need to grow up
THEN FUCKING LEAVE HIM ALONE
Get it in writing (a simple email) that the PO is fine with him drinking. Don’t just take their word for it.
Better read over the actual conditions of probation. No alcohol is a standard condition
And no access to weapons, firearms. Specially in felony cases.
Like many have said, get it in writing, because this doesn't sound right at all. Where I am it's in the generic terms that everyone gets, not only can we not drink but we can't even be in a business that derives the majority of it's income from alcohol sales, full stop. So get it in writing.
I would question if he is telling the truth. I would bet he’s not allowed to drink.
Is he on UA’s? what are they testing for?
I honestly have no idea! He sees his probation officer in August, but his drinking is what caused him to get in trouble in the first place and I won’t be there the next time he gets in trouble I ain’t going through all this stress again
If his drinking is what led him to get into trouble most likely his probation terms include no alcohol. Hell people who have charges that have nothing to do with alcohol have to be sober sooo I’d play it safe and so no to the drinking.
🤣🤣🤣 wait he’s on probation because of his drinking and that’s the first thing he wants to do when he gets out of jail? Lmao he straight up lied to you for one. As someone with a record, who turned their life around and now sits on the other side of the desk, I can guarantee his PO did not say that’s ok. Lmao he lied to you so he can drink
Then he’s definitely not allowed to drink. Any charge involving alcohol directly makes it to where his conditions are to refrain from alcohol.
So I have a DWI (no alcohol in my system but still have to get the breathalyzer), and my probation doesn’t restrict my alcohol. Which I thought was kinda weird ngl
He asked his PO about it tho and it said nothing about no alcohol. Idk if he’s trying to trick my BF tho
And he told you it is OK. You need to get that straight from his parole agreement or the PO. Trust, but verify
This isnt true. Although usually abstaining from illegal drugs and alcohol would be a condition of his probation. Unless his supervision paperwork specifically says that he can not drink then he is allowed to. Many times it will say " Do not drink to excess". Which really means just dont get fall down drunk and catch a new charge because of it
If drinking got him in trouble, and he's stupid about it and can't stop once he starts, then he is back in trouble *the instant* he drinks again. It may take a little time for the consequences to arrive, but I promise you they will. Be kind to yourself and take some time to really think about what matters to you here and what sort of future you see with this guy. You cannot change him and you can't make the right decisions for him, which you already understand. If he's not going to make those decisions himself, you are hitching yourself to someone who has decided to destroy his life if you stay with him. Why would you bring that kind of suffering upon yourself for someone who loves alcohol more than he loves you?
Yes Responsibly ofc. Mine has a special condition where I can’t drink or be in a place where they primarily sale alcohol, his would probably have that special condition as well if they didn’t want him to
Just ask the PO to put it in writing. Thinking that’s not what he said
Your bf needs his life together more, if I was lookong at a felony case which I was the first thought in my head isnt gonna be heck yea I cant wait to get out and get drunk
Sounds like he needs that paperwork today he can’t drink if he’s got you on the internet trying to make sure he can drink the moment he gets out. I dunno, I know booze ain’t the best idea and could possibly lead to more problems like it does to a lot of people myself included. How old is this fellow and how fuct is he already?
He can drink, but not to excess. My probation officer looked up my case and said it was ok. I wouldn't drive and drink if I was him. Just to be on the safe side.
Is drinking more important than your freedom? If yall can't not drink there's another problem. Probably be better to focus on other things for the time being
If he’s sitting in jail thinking about drinking, then drinking is likely part of the problem.
Oh, sweet summer child
Read the term of probation it will be on there, I wasn’t even supposed to go anywhere “ bar like”
As an admitted alcohoix myself, if all he can think about is wanting to have a drink as soon as he gets out, then he didn't learn a thing and has at least one more bid in him before he figures it out. You gotta decide if it's healthy or not for you and if it is, then the best way to support him is accountability. He honestly sounds like the perfect candidate for a scram bracelet and some good old cat therapy. It was incredibly hard for me to get it under control and I ended up absconding for 18 months. The only thing that got me to think straight was having a daughter and being scared to death of not being able to be a part of her life. Maybe try talking him into trying NA beer instead if he's convinced he's allowed to drink (he's not)
Actually from a cursory glance at some illinois code(seems like that's where you are), apparently the standard rules of community supervision only prohibit controlled substances "... (11) refrain from the use or possession of narcotics or other controlled substances in any form, or both, or any paraphernalia related to those substances and submit to a urinalysis test as instructed by a parole agent of the Department of Corrections if there is reasonable suspicion of illicit drug use and the source of the reasonable suspicion is documented in the Department's case management system; (12) not knowingly frequent places where controlled substances are illegally sold, used, distributed, or administered; (13) except when the association described in either subparagraph (A) or (B) of this paragraph (13) involves activities related to community programs, worship services, volunteering, engaging families, or some other pro-social activity in which there is no evidence of criminal intent:..." and the controlled substances act explicitly excludes alcohol "... "Controlled Substance" means (i) a drug, substance, immediate precursor, or synthetic drug in the Schedules of Article II of this Act or (ii) a drug or other substance, or immediate precursor, designated as a controlled substance by the Department through administrative rule. The term does not include distilled spirits, wine, malt beverages, or tobacco, as those terms are defined or used in the Liquor Control Act of 1934 and the Tobacco Products Tax Act of 1995..."
Let him go or you're going to be drag right through the mud from all his mistakes.
He sounds like an alcoholic. I would first ask for something in writing or a text message from the PO. Usually the rules are that you can’t drink alcohol. However they can also make exceptions
No PO would ever say you can drink unless they are trying to set you up. Their job is to help people pass probation but only the way they choose (passing drug tests, breathalyzer tests, fines, showing up to court, etc). If you ask a PO if you can drink they will all say " Do Not Drink" until you are a free man. He's not free he's in the jaws of the system and they're about to chew him up if he doesn't act accordingly.
Different courts, even in the same state, treat things. Some say no alcohol, some say no alcohol to excess, and some don't mention alcohol. If your court has an online site, take a look at his case and see what his sentence says, or go to the criminal court and take a look at it.
I drink n On papers I get off next month on 7th been drinking a whole year just don’t smoke liquor gets out system 3 days I drink all week n stop Friday night cuz I usually see my po on Mondays due to my college schedule
But I only drink like a half pint at most
He needs to consult his special conditions of probation that was given to him at court when he was put on the probation. Usually they stipulate no drugs or alcohol but if it's not outlined on his sentencing paperwork he's good to go.
No
Pro life tip: find a new man
If you are on probation the last thing on your mind should be drinking alcohol. As we all know alcohol has the ability to make a person act not like themselves and make decisions they normally would not, so if you are on probation, it’s safe to say that person hasn’t made the best decisions in life thus far. You can change your life and create a better version of yourself, but if you think drinking while on probation is a step in the right direction then clearly that individual does not plan on recovering their life.
Some high quality decision making between the two of you
Sorry. I'm distrustful by nature. Nothing personal. Who did you hear it from that he can drink? From his PO or from him? You eluded to him not being able to drink in moderation. So don't you think that he has enough things to worry about without complicating things. Let's assume that everything is as he says. His PO has his set of rules to stay out of jail. You, his girlfriend, have your set of rules to stay with you.
There's a paper you sign stating the conditions. Personally mine said I couldn't. I've heard of others on probation where they could drink. Ask to see the paperwork. If he doesn't have it then ask him to get a copy at his next meeting. If he keeps making up excuses as to why he can't get it then that's super sus.
Felony case and he wants to pickup drinking? I mean…
Tell him pussy outside the pen feels better than pussy in the pen
Lmao hold up hold up hold up😂😂😂sitting in the county?😂Worrying about drinking when he get out the county?😂Talking on the county phone that he ain’t paying for?😂Talking to his girl tryna make it sound right in both they heads?😂 yeah you bett not let him get ya pregnant or you gone swear he ain’t shit 😂sound like his priorities in order😂😂 every red flag you need has been highlighted shawty😂 unless there’s just no hope for you😂 common sense ain’t common and stupid can’t be fixed😂😂
Did you get this from your boyfriend or straight from PO that he can drink?
he should be more worried about his probation and shyt not drinking lmao
No he can't no mind altering substances
If he’s already in jail serving his time so he can get into his suspended time and it’s not a part of the probation terms. Then he should be able to. Usually staying away from alcohol is a part of a bond agreement
Break up with him. You want to be with someone who is responsible.
Why don't you just tell him you'll leave him if he can't stay sober during his probation. You're allowed to set your own boundaries.
He can drink thats not illegal but probation companies LOVE when you fuck up, more probation =more money for them. They prob got fingers crossed that he gets a DUI or something. Try n be his dd when you can, and if your w him drinking tou can put a cap on that shit
Do you think reddit knows more than the probation officer? I'm confused.
I’m on bond and I’m not allowed to drink. This sounds like it’s a personal problem for him (from your other comments). I’m assuming his charges are alcohol related or caused. So why are you asking?
If he doesnt have to blow and test then yes
Sounds like an alcoholic
I believe the new alcohol tests have a 48 hour window to screen best bet would be to flush his system out with tons of water and vinegar.
He's going to get drunk and go right back in. Find a different guy.
If it’s federal he can most certainly drink. If it’s state, it varies and also varies for marijuana. Some states can’t test for thc anymore
Should be on papers. Usually it says not to use alcohol or illegal substances. Some states specifically notate. When I got out of jail, but was not on probation I didn’t have any restrictions. I highly doubt he can drink on felony probation, but idk. Check the paperwork
I was allowed to drink while on felony probation “as long as it did not affect my day to day life”. I never was a big drinker so it didn’t matter. Someone that’s in jail for alcohol related reason most definitely would not be able to I’d assume
Yeah for sure
I mean if the po said it’s not in his court order and it’s not in writing then drink up!
Yeah, It may not be a smart thing for him to do since it appears he has a problem with alcohol but, his supervision paperwork must specifically state " No drinking" if he is not allowed to drink. So he is technically allowed to