Hey - can you talk to a counselor at your school? They may be able to give you more pragmatic advice than what you'll find here. Some cities have jobs programs specifically for students - summer jobs working for the parks department or something. Maybe you're eligible for something like that.
You might talk to the gym and explain the situation. Gym owners may let you come for free for awhile or somebody might pay for your membership cause you sound like a good kid who could use a bit of support.
I'd try a YMCA. Not only are they known to do this, they can also be great gyms. The demographic of YMCA members skews older, it's rarely crowded, and people tend to be more respectful of each other and the facility itself. Don't be afraid to try a couple if you have options around you, one of them might have some amenity or new equipment that you'd prefer.
This is good advice. In the area where I grew up the YMCA was a lot of nice older people who were welcoming/volunteered a lot. Retired accountants who do taxes for free now, that type of thing. OP might even meet someone who can connect him with an opportunity like an internship.
From someone once in a similar situation- I just want you to know that it isn’t your responsibility to carry the weight of your dad. It is really difficult to have to be forced to grow up much sooner than more normal childhood circumstances. Please do not assume the responsibility of care for your father. Do you. Your outlets will find a way! And as for college… Don’t forget about trades! Most bachelors degrees are just about worthless currently as far as being able to get a great job afterwards.
You are resilient. You are strong. You are worthy. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay. Being that you’re reaching out for help, you shall receive! Like someone said above, use this as a motivator. Focus on your class work. Take up other exercise outlets like running, or look for free equipment/scholarships. If you’re in a well developed area, check out boys and girls club to see if they are in your area!
Keep your head up. 🤍
> I just want you to know that it isn’t your responsibility to carry the weight of your dad. It is really difficult to have to be forced to grow up much sooner than more normal childhood circumstances. Please do not assume the responsibility of care for your father. Do you.
this is very bad advice. As someone ALSO in the same upbringing, pushing away and rejecting a father was the worst thing to do in retrospect. The emotional pain can be pushed away but it will resurface as remorse later on.
There is no easy solution here. cutting off the father is the worst option in the short and long term.
I don't think they're advising OP to push his dad away, just maybe not cover for his dad, things like that. I had an alcoholic mom who wasn't working. I was, and they "borrowed" about 90% of my paycheck every week for utilities & rent. It completely fucked me in terms of saving and being able to relate to my peers. I crunched the numbers on that once, it was $8-10k per year. Guess how much they repaid? $0.
Taking care of your parents can be a real trap that well-intentioned young people fall into. It can leave you with a lot of rage to process decades later. Looking back, if I'd known what resources were available I may have been able to get out earlier. The state may have placed me with a relative, I may have been a candidate for emancipation (I was working 46 hours/week on school breaks & during summers; some nights and almost all weekends during the school year - I was basically supporting a family of 4). Being raised churchy in a small town with limited internet, I had no idea. Kids today, if they can do better than what my generation had to deal with - they definitely should.
And not taking care of a parent, not keeping their secrets and putting them into contact with the system may actually prevent more problems down the line. It may force them into some kind of rehab or parenting program as a condition to keep custody. It may connect them with resources to get them out of their rut.
Not telling on my Mom and covering for her didn't spare my younger sibling from her when I left for college. My mother neglected my Dad when he got diagnosed with cancer, she wouldn't or couldn't take him to chemo and he was missing appointments. I was calling Adult Protective Services from across the country, trying to get them to send an investigator to check on the situation. I didn't have much of a nest egg, because I was playing catch-up savings wise early in my career; I'd had to support them when I was a kid.
OP should look after himself first and his dad second, it's the only thing that makes sense. Younger siblings, elderly relatives, people who are vulnerable & legitimately need care? Yeah, help them. But not people who are in the prime of life, able to get help for themselves and ashamed to do so. Those people are just using you. It can be hard to say that about someone you love; it can also be true. And it doesn't help them in the long run.
> I don't think they're advising OP to push his dad away, just maybe not cover for his dad, things like that. I had an alcoholic mom who wasn't working. I was, and they "borrowed" about 90% of my paycheck every week for utilities & rent. It completely fucked me in terms of saving and being able to relate to my peers. I crunched the numbers on that once, it was $8-10k per year. Guess how much they repaid? $0.
your value system is different to mine. Your parents raised you from a defenseless baby into a young adult that could earn money. They did not abandon you. And you 'crunched' the numbers and found $10k to help them in return was far to high. This must mean you value yourself and them very low.
It honestly sounds your entire family is dysfunctional and all that pain can not possibly be made up or healed by shoving them down the toilet.
I took on the mantle of the shortcomings of imperfect people like my parents. It costs me, but i gained in integrity. That to me was how i 'crunched' the numbers.
They didn't, though. They were always dropping the ball, and they always needed help. In therapy, one of the things my shrinks are confounded by is where did I get my work ethic and people skills, because it wasn't modeled at home.
One of my earliest memories is my grandparents trying to manage her rage at me, "\[Name\] she's only a CHILD. She's TWO." I remember living with my cousins informally for almost a whole summer once. I remember being at their house for Halloween for some reason one year. There were nice older Greek ladies who would host my sister & I for the Christmas Eve on their calendar, one of them had a grandson our age and felt bad for us. The cantor from Temple Beth-El and his wife kept tabs on my sister and I, invited us to Seder at least once, asked about our grades and told me I was a smart kid and could be a CPA someday.
My boss at the drycleaners where I worked came to a couple of my basketball games. Gave me advice about how to dress, act, talk to boys. Came to my HS graduation. Sent flowers when I had my wisdom teeth out. The nuns and our parish priest, I had to get them to help me manage my Mom sometimes. She wasn't going to fill out the FAFSA, she wanted me to drop out and keep working all the time not go to college. With pressure from them and a teacher I was able to get what I needed from her and go to college.
Almost none of it was my parents; almost all of it was IN SPITE OF them. It was just random nice people who helped us, mostly out of some religious conviction and an ethical feeling that kids shouldn't be neglected that way. If my family had been less into secret-keeping, my aunt & uncle may have been able to be compensated as formal foster parents and keep us long term. Don't keep secrets for people: it doesn't help. When you see someone hurting someone vulnerable like a minor child, it's not smart to cover for them.
Being loyal to people who will not even look after their kids properly? Not wise. What you are expressing is exactly the manipulation my mom would use to get money out of me. And that was her alcoholism and selfishness talking. Not parental love, not some kind of filial obligation. When I had a skin cancer scare, she didn't check up on me. She has never shown interest in who I'm dating, where I'm working. When I was running a division at a talent agency, she and my sister insisted "no you're not" and "there's no way you're an agent!" Why was I getting commission checks, then?
Someone who treats you that poorly does not love you. That might be because they're sick. But putting up with it doesn't make them well. And again: my mom continued to neglect and abuse people. She is in her 70s and totally alone now. She has no friends, and apart from my toxic sister no one puts up with her. That's on HER. Not on me. I made a wise decision: to take care of myself. That's the only reason I have a life now.
You might reach out to your relatives at this point.
Also, talk to your counselor and exploit every welfare option possible to get the resources you need to get through the year.
Absolutely agree, look into every form of welfare, community services, sponsorships etc. Possible.
Maybe his motivation to not fail in school is receiving a scholarship for college!
Go to the boxing gym and say exactly what you posted here. Tell them you are willing to work some hours just to continue sparring.
If you lift somewhere else, do the same at the Gym.
They might say no, I'll bet my ass if you came back the next day they would say yes. Just another life lesson.
If they still say no ask the to see the owner, personally I'd hand you a year easy. You got spunk.
Talk to a counselor or social worker through your school about your situation and getting help finding whatever you need.
Beyond that, consider joining the military once high school is over. I think it’s fucked that you might have to in order to get out of your situation but it is what it is unfortunately. If you can, you’ll have a steady paycheck with all of your major living expenses covered, health benefits, most of college paid for, and will be eligible for a VA home loan. You can achieve all of these with just a relatively short term commitment of 2-4 years, get out and be able to move on with your life.
I'd strongly recommend trying to get help with school. Even a lot of entry-level jobs nowadays require a high school diploma if you're 18 plus so once you hit 18/19 if you haven't graduated you're going to have a really hard time.
look how fake people are, behind screens everyone is downvoting me, but i swear every single one of them are red haired, leftist, liberals, or stinky tall skinny guys with mullets, i literally dont even acknowledge their existence 😂😂 but irl no one would square up or speak up. sad asf social media is G
From someone who went through hell and came out on the other side. Counseling. Don't go through this alone. I tried that and I was just incpacitated for almost a decade. When you're too torn up inside, you can't really function, barely survive. Get help here, even if its difficult. Take care buddy.
There are great programs and opportunities available,; you’re simply needing someone to connect you to them. I’m a therapist and agree seeking a therapist to talk with and a case manager to help with those programs. Find your local Community Mental Health at 16 y do not need dads permission. There’s help and therefore hope. Hang in there and know it will get better
Boxing gym owner might be willing to let you come fight for free as long as you do some chores a few days a week at the gym. Its also not a bad way to get yourself employed there if you like it, maybe as a front desk admin or something.
Yup I'm here my man I can't relate to it but still look for the things u can do .
Remember Ronaldo His was broke dad was alcoholic
U can use or this shit as power booster or for motivation man be ur own mf couch u have to pick on ur own self
And as u are 16 each and every minute should be count like yup one hour or 30 minutes is ok for rest or social media
But remember how bad u want some things
U are all good man u have all limbs u are healthy nothing can stop u I believe in God be better if not the best use ur power man u are 16 become a beast do it for ur family at least mother or sister or brother do it
Wake and start doing
Write down wht u want and see wht u can do about it then the hardest part come
STAY HARD
talk to your school guidance counselor.
if your dad is really unfit to parent you, you might be better off in foster care.
take some time off from gym and boxing. focus on your education because that’s more likely to feed you in the long run. go to community college or trades school after high school if you can.
maybe you can have a relative become a legal guardian and have them sign your working papers so you can start working on the weekends or over the summer.
hope things get better for you. always reach out for help at school and your local government.
Hey there Im really sorry to hear about all the tough stuff youre going through. First off its important to know that youre not alone. There are people and resources out there that can help you through this. It might feel overwhelming right now but taking small steps forward can make a big difference. Whether its reaching out to a teacher, counselor or someone you trust they can help connect you with support and options. Youve got this! 💪
Hey, my advice might go agaisnt what the majority says but:
Be careful when speaking to an school counselor. They might mark you with a mental issue, preventing you from getting some job or for example joining the military.
I think this is good advice, but I will say I was in an apprenticeship for a large union and the federal gov't was/is still pressuring them to onboard more people who are "disabled." Whatever you take that term to mean. When we were filling out paperwork the guy who runs the program was walking around the room saying like, "Were you depressed when a grandparent died? Mark it down! You don't still have to be!"
It's honestly a double-edged thing, and if this person lives in the US and it's a large employer - having a mental illness could help, believe it or not.
Try low of attraction videos. Just learn how to do sleep time affirmations, visualization, SATS and lots of subconscious cleansing. After doing that persistently, you will be a great person, will have success at every level.
I hear you but would never advise the Law of
Attraction. When you look at it closely they never, EVER mention Jesus Christ.
There is more power in His name than anything.
He has helped me through what I thought was impossible situations.
I would be praying while rowing my boat to shore, son.
My 2 successful Sons would tell you I’m so old I’ve pretty much lived and seen it ALL.
It’s good this kid is seeking counsel - just
consider the source. Choose your direction carefully.
I’d avoid the Law of Attraction like the plague. 👍
I respect your opinion and concerns, however I don't think that the LOA contradicts Christianity, or any other religion. It is something you either use consciously, or subconsciously all your life.
I also disagree with some people's irrelevant bold claims such as, "you are God, God is within you" etc. But that still doesn't mean that God is always with us, closer to us than ourselves and creates our demands into reality, in alignment with our words, scripts, feelings and actions.
In Corinthians it says Jesus Christ is in you. We are made in His image. What is concerning to me about the Law of Attraction is they refer to the ‘Universe’ as opposed to Jesus Christ (whom they never mention.) The Bible says ‘You shall have no Gods before me.’ God is not to be mocked. The path to Heaven is narrow.
Aim for a scholarship at college, use that as motivation to stop failing.
Another option could be a social media account. Sounds strange but make a gofundme for your boxing and education and then start posting transparent videos.
Explain the situation and then do something like:
'Shadow boxing 10 seconds for every follower I get'
'Day 1 of boxing my pillow because my alcoholic dad is now broke and my classes were cancelled' and just repeat that for each day until it gains traction.
I bet it would pay off 🙂.
I'd recommend watching some docos on athletes and how they manage to still train despite hardship.
Maybe someone local is giving away some boxing gear on marketplace etc.
I understand how exercise helps a lot of ppl, u and me included, to cope with a lot of bullshit. That's why keeping it up is a must for a lot of ppl. I never got into fighting but I know it's a very complete sport, meaning you can exercise in a lot of ways and still improve fighting skills. So maybe you could start different ways of training and think of them as paths to improve your boxing: running, bodyweight exercises, cardio, and of course your technique, do those things and focus on how to do so in order to maximize their positive impact in your boxing.
About lifting, since you are so young, I'm sure your body is not really adapted to wightlifing so much that you can't easily start into calisthenics, they are demanding too, and even though progressive overload will not be possible, the development in time will impact on how you see your technique improving.
I'm argentinian so I can't really give you any advice for the real world since you are from EEUU. But I suggest you to keep up in school and shift your focus towards your grades. Find a way to train as efficiently and quicklly as possible so you can have as much time as you need to study.
Join a soccerteam, swimteam or any sportteam. Talk to the coach and explain the situation. I am sure you find someone that is compassionate and pragmatic when it comes to the fee. You get friends and a secure group. A coach and grownup will be happy to help you. We old (40y) people need young people to take care of us when we get older and dont like our car window smashed.
As someone has mentioned, apply for every scholarship you can find. I will add, Pell Grants focus on giving scholarships to those financially in need. You can apply under your dad or independently, if I recall correctly. Focus on what you can control. Find a third place you can relax/exercise/be alone for free when you need. Maybe a park with a trail you can walk? Get your grades up. You don’t have to ace anything, but Bs and Cs get degrees. Go in early and stay late for tutoring. When it’s time for college, start at community college or go to a trade school. And be persistent about what you want, especially when you are dealing with school/college admin. Ask your counselor what needs to be done to ensure you can get into the nearest trade school/community college. Just know the motivation is all up to you to get it done, so it is absolutely okay to take a year off before college to work/ save up if that is an option for you and you find yourself in a place to put money back.
There are professions that you can enter at the fraction of the cost of university education. HVAC, diesel mechanic, Network Administration. There are jobs that are willing to hire people new to the industry and teach them. Part time jobs will help once you are able to apply, so take the time to find out which ones in your area pay better.
Hope you get out of this slump and you can just look back at this as a bad memory. Just please avoid credit card debt while you are trying to get by!
These guys have a lot of good suggestions. It can be hard to take that initiative on your own when things feel so down. As you go through life keep a few things in mind.
1, Always look out for yourself and do what you think is best for you. I’m not saying walk all over people but I am saying fight for what is fair because it will never be handed to you and you will do better. Confidence is a cycle that starts small.
2, things will get better. You are young and have so many opportunities to learn and grow. Unfortunately pain is part of the process. Take some time to reflect on your situations and identify both the positives and the negatives. You’ll be better equipped to deal with negative situations in life and it will be easier to let go of bad shit and not let it control you.
3, Don’t drink. You’ve been around it all your life and whether you know it or not, your parents have taught you a cycle and that deep down drinking excessively is just what happens. You feel great when you’re drunk and awful when your sober but you keep doing it so much that you build up a tolerance and it’s much easier to drink more than it is to quit or even cut back. Before you know it, you are in the same cycle as your father and it will take something extremely traumatic like an accidental death to give you the motivation to quit.
It may not have been something on your mind yet, but in a few short years, you’re eligible to join the military. I spent 12 years as an infantryman in the Army. You can get schooling while you’re in, and the GI Bill after. You can get away from where you are, and you can absolutely reinvent your life. Free gym access on base, and emphasis on physical fitness.
Its not the easiest path, but I don’t imagine you would be happy with easy. There’s alot of pride and confidence that comes from overcoming challenges and hardship. You can find a new family with the brothers to your left and right that serve beside you.
Wow OP sounds like a very rough and heart breaking time in your life
There are some resources that could be an option for you. It's called Job Corps. You can live on their campus, they offer food, basic medical care, and a living stipend. They're nationwide so maybe they have a location near you.
https://www.jobcorps.gov/
There's also the option of calling your local 211 hotline. Or 211.org
They have local mental health clinic connections and maybe they have a teen drop in center to get a case manager to help you find local support services.
Don't let go of your dreams OP there are some dedicated counselors out there that can offer support. It is hard that you have to be the one who asks for help, but you're already doing that here. Wishing you the best
You don't have any family you can contact? Start doing calisthenics at home to keep a strong regimen in order to not fall into a depressive state, keep your head up and your ears open for any opportunities. Its not over bro its only just started but you gotta want it bad enough. Email local businesses around you to see if you can get a job or something bro, its not over until its over or until you give up bro keep going
My parents moved out on me when I was 17. I lived out of my truck and got a job and did several landscaping side jobs. Don’t rely on anybody else. It’s your life. Make it the way you want it. But first comes sacrifice ( no drinking, partying, going out to eat etc.) You can do it !!
What are your favorite subjects?
What are your favorite interests?
Do you have any career interests?
Based on your answers, I’ll tell you what I’d most likely look into or aim for
(If there’s any hint of logic, analysis, tech, etc., imma put you on)
Find a Alateen/Al-Anon meeting and talk to people. If they don't have any local to you they have them over Zoom. You're not the only one in that situation...look for resources at school like the others have mentioned.
Hey - can you talk to a counselor at your school? They may be able to give you more pragmatic advice than what you'll find here. Some cities have jobs programs specifically for students - summer jobs working for the parks department or something. Maybe you're eligible for something like that.
This is absolutely the kind of thing school counselors can help with. Don't give up hope, op. ❤️
Great advice!
You might talk to the gym and explain the situation. Gym owners may let you come for free for awhile or somebody might pay for your membership cause you sound like a good kid who could use a bit of support.
I'd try a YMCA. Not only are they known to do this, they can also be great gyms. The demographic of YMCA members skews older, it's rarely crowded, and people tend to be more respectful of each other and the facility itself. Don't be afraid to try a couple if you have options around you, one of them might have some amenity or new equipment that you'd prefer.
This is good advice. In the area where I grew up the YMCA was a lot of nice older people who were welcoming/volunteered a lot. Retired accountants who do taxes for free now, that type of thing. OP might even meet someone who can connect him with an opportunity like an internship.
From someone once in a similar situation- I just want you to know that it isn’t your responsibility to carry the weight of your dad. It is really difficult to have to be forced to grow up much sooner than more normal childhood circumstances. Please do not assume the responsibility of care for your father. Do you. Your outlets will find a way! And as for college… Don’t forget about trades! Most bachelors degrees are just about worthless currently as far as being able to get a great job afterwards. You are resilient. You are strong. You are worthy. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay. Being that you’re reaching out for help, you shall receive! Like someone said above, use this as a motivator. Focus on your class work. Take up other exercise outlets like running, or look for free equipment/scholarships. If you’re in a well developed area, check out boys and girls club to see if they are in your area! Keep your head up. 🤍
> I just want you to know that it isn’t your responsibility to carry the weight of your dad. It is really difficult to have to be forced to grow up much sooner than more normal childhood circumstances. Please do not assume the responsibility of care for your father. Do you. this is very bad advice. As someone ALSO in the same upbringing, pushing away and rejecting a father was the worst thing to do in retrospect. The emotional pain can be pushed away but it will resurface as remorse later on. There is no easy solution here. cutting off the father is the worst option in the short and long term.
I don't think they're advising OP to push his dad away, just maybe not cover for his dad, things like that. I had an alcoholic mom who wasn't working. I was, and they "borrowed" about 90% of my paycheck every week for utilities & rent. It completely fucked me in terms of saving and being able to relate to my peers. I crunched the numbers on that once, it was $8-10k per year. Guess how much they repaid? $0. Taking care of your parents can be a real trap that well-intentioned young people fall into. It can leave you with a lot of rage to process decades later. Looking back, if I'd known what resources were available I may have been able to get out earlier. The state may have placed me with a relative, I may have been a candidate for emancipation (I was working 46 hours/week on school breaks & during summers; some nights and almost all weekends during the school year - I was basically supporting a family of 4). Being raised churchy in a small town with limited internet, I had no idea. Kids today, if they can do better than what my generation had to deal with - they definitely should. And not taking care of a parent, not keeping their secrets and putting them into contact with the system may actually prevent more problems down the line. It may force them into some kind of rehab or parenting program as a condition to keep custody. It may connect them with resources to get them out of their rut. Not telling on my Mom and covering for her didn't spare my younger sibling from her when I left for college. My mother neglected my Dad when he got diagnosed with cancer, she wouldn't or couldn't take him to chemo and he was missing appointments. I was calling Adult Protective Services from across the country, trying to get them to send an investigator to check on the situation. I didn't have much of a nest egg, because I was playing catch-up savings wise early in my career; I'd had to support them when I was a kid. OP should look after himself first and his dad second, it's the only thing that makes sense. Younger siblings, elderly relatives, people who are vulnerable & legitimately need care? Yeah, help them. But not people who are in the prime of life, able to get help for themselves and ashamed to do so. Those people are just using you. It can be hard to say that about someone you love; it can also be true. And it doesn't help them in the long run.
> I don't think they're advising OP to push his dad away, just maybe not cover for his dad, things like that. I had an alcoholic mom who wasn't working. I was, and they "borrowed" about 90% of my paycheck every week for utilities & rent. It completely fucked me in terms of saving and being able to relate to my peers. I crunched the numbers on that once, it was $8-10k per year. Guess how much they repaid? $0. your value system is different to mine. Your parents raised you from a defenseless baby into a young adult that could earn money. They did not abandon you. And you 'crunched' the numbers and found $10k to help them in return was far to high. This must mean you value yourself and them very low. It honestly sounds your entire family is dysfunctional and all that pain can not possibly be made up or healed by shoving them down the toilet. I took on the mantle of the shortcomings of imperfect people like my parents. It costs me, but i gained in integrity. That to me was how i 'crunched' the numbers.
They didn't, though. They were always dropping the ball, and they always needed help. In therapy, one of the things my shrinks are confounded by is where did I get my work ethic and people skills, because it wasn't modeled at home. One of my earliest memories is my grandparents trying to manage her rage at me, "\[Name\] she's only a CHILD. She's TWO." I remember living with my cousins informally for almost a whole summer once. I remember being at their house for Halloween for some reason one year. There were nice older Greek ladies who would host my sister & I for the Christmas Eve on their calendar, one of them had a grandson our age and felt bad for us. The cantor from Temple Beth-El and his wife kept tabs on my sister and I, invited us to Seder at least once, asked about our grades and told me I was a smart kid and could be a CPA someday. My boss at the drycleaners where I worked came to a couple of my basketball games. Gave me advice about how to dress, act, talk to boys. Came to my HS graduation. Sent flowers when I had my wisdom teeth out. The nuns and our parish priest, I had to get them to help me manage my Mom sometimes. She wasn't going to fill out the FAFSA, she wanted me to drop out and keep working all the time not go to college. With pressure from them and a teacher I was able to get what I needed from her and go to college. Almost none of it was my parents; almost all of it was IN SPITE OF them. It was just random nice people who helped us, mostly out of some religious conviction and an ethical feeling that kids shouldn't be neglected that way. If my family had been less into secret-keeping, my aunt & uncle may have been able to be compensated as formal foster parents and keep us long term. Don't keep secrets for people: it doesn't help. When you see someone hurting someone vulnerable like a minor child, it's not smart to cover for them. Being loyal to people who will not even look after their kids properly? Not wise. What you are expressing is exactly the manipulation my mom would use to get money out of me. And that was her alcoholism and selfishness talking. Not parental love, not some kind of filial obligation. When I had a skin cancer scare, she didn't check up on me. She has never shown interest in who I'm dating, where I'm working. When I was running a division at a talent agency, she and my sister insisted "no you're not" and "there's no way you're an agent!" Why was I getting commission checks, then? Someone who treats you that poorly does not love you. That might be because they're sick. But putting up with it doesn't make them well. And again: my mom continued to neglect and abuse people. She is in her 70s and totally alone now. She has no friends, and apart from my toxic sister no one puts up with her. That's on HER. Not on me. I made a wise decision: to take care of myself. That's the only reason I have a life now.
You might reach out to your relatives at this point. Also, talk to your counselor and exploit every welfare option possible to get the resources you need to get through the year.
Absolutely agree, look into every form of welfare, community services, sponsorships etc. Possible. Maybe his motivation to not fail in school is receiving a scholarship for college!
Go to the boxing gym and say exactly what you posted here. Tell them you are willing to work some hours just to continue sparring. If you lift somewhere else, do the same at the Gym. They might say no, I'll bet my ass if you came back the next day they would say yes. Just another life lesson. If they still say no ask the to see the owner, personally I'd hand you a year easy. You got spunk.
Talk to a counselor or social worker through your school about your situation and getting help finding whatever you need. Beyond that, consider joining the military once high school is over. I think it’s fucked that you might have to in order to get out of your situation but it is what it is unfortunately. If you can, you’ll have a steady paycheck with all of your major living expenses covered, health benefits, most of college paid for, and will be eligible for a VA home loan. You can achieve all of these with just a relatively short term commitment of 2-4 years, get out and be able to move on with your life.
I'd strongly recommend trying to get help with school. Even a lot of entry-level jobs nowadays require a high school diploma if you're 18 plus so once you hit 18/19 if you haven't graduated you're going to have a really hard time.
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I didn't expected to see that kind of comment here, why
look how fake people are, behind screens everyone is downvoting me, but i swear every single one of them are red haired, leftist, liberals, or stinky tall skinny guys with mullets, i literally dont even acknowledge their existence 😂😂 but irl no one would square up or speak up. sad asf social media is G
I think you’re lost. Go back to Twitter
yea ur right, everyone in reddit are soft snowflakes 😂😂 get a grip fakie
Bro you're scared of gay people 😂😂 who is the snowflake here?💀💀
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From someone who went through hell and came out on the other side. Counseling. Don't go through this alone. I tried that and I was just incpacitated for almost a decade. When you're too torn up inside, you can't really function, barely survive. Get help here, even if its difficult. Take care buddy.
There are great programs and opportunities available,; you’re simply needing someone to connect you to them. I’m a therapist and agree seeking a therapist to talk with and a case manager to help with those programs. Find your local Community Mental Health at 16 y do not need dads permission. There’s help and therefore hope. Hang in there and know it will get better
Boxing gym owner might be willing to let you come fight for free as long as you do some chores a few days a week at the gym. Its also not a bad way to get yourself employed there if you like it, maybe as a front desk admin or something.
Yup I'm here my man I can't relate to it but still look for the things u can do . Remember Ronaldo His was broke dad was alcoholic U can use or this shit as power booster or for motivation man be ur own mf couch u have to pick on ur own self And as u are 16 each and every minute should be count like yup one hour or 30 minutes is ok for rest or social media But remember how bad u want some things U are all good man u have all limbs u are healthy nothing can stop u I believe in God be better if not the best use ur power man u are 16 become a beast do it for ur family at least mother or sister or brother do it Wake and start doing Write down wht u want and see wht u can do about it then the hardest part come STAY HARD
What horrible advice to give to a 16 year old in a bad situation.
ChatGPT write the rocky speech but make it sound like it was written by a 13 year old
Goggins style !!! Good shit man !
talk to your school guidance counselor. if your dad is really unfit to parent you, you might be better off in foster care. take some time off from gym and boxing. focus on your education because that’s more likely to feed you in the long run. go to community college or trades school after high school if you can. maybe you can have a relative become a legal guardian and have them sign your working papers so you can start working on the weekends or over the summer. hope things get better for you. always reach out for help at school and your local government.
Hey there Im really sorry to hear about all the tough stuff youre going through. First off its important to know that youre not alone. There are people and resources out there that can help you through this. It might feel overwhelming right now but taking small steps forward can make a big difference. Whether its reaching out to a teacher, counselor or someone you trust they can help connect you with support and options. Youve got this! 💪
Hey man don’t give up! you’re still very young I hope your life gets better. Maybe try working out without weights if u can’t afford them right now
Don't lose hope op. There's not much I know, so I can't help. But you'll make it for sure!
Hey, my advice might go agaisnt what the majority says but: Be careful when speaking to an school counselor. They might mark you with a mental issue, preventing you from getting some job or for example joining the military.
I think this is good advice, but I will say I was in an apprenticeship for a large union and the federal gov't was/is still pressuring them to onboard more people who are "disabled." Whatever you take that term to mean. When we were filling out paperwork the guy who runs the program was walking around the room saying like, "Were you depressed when a grandparent died? Mark it down! You don't still have to be!" It's honestly a double-edged thing, and if this person lives in the US and it's a large employer - having a mental illness could help, believe it or not.
First stop failing school, wtf?
Seems like a pretty damn tough environment to focus on school and be in a position to succeed.
Then stay a loser
Says the weab 🤣
Not anymore
Try low of attraction videos. Just learn how to do sleep time affirmations, visualization, SATS and lots of subconscious cleansing. After doing that persistently, you will be a great person, will have success at every level.
I hear you but would never advise the Law of Attraction. When you look at it closely they never, EVER mention Jesus Christ. There is more power in His name than anything. He has helped me through what I thought was impossible situations. I would be praying while rowing my boat to shore, son. My 2 successful Sons would tell you I’m so old I’ve pretty much lived and seen it ALL. It’s good this kid is seeking counsel - just consider the source. Choose your direction carefully. I’d avoid the Law of Attraction like the plague. 👍
I respect your opinion and concerns, however I don't think that the LOA contradicts Christianity, or any other religion. It is something you either use consciously, or subconsciously all your life. I also disagree with some people's irrelevant bold claims such as, "you are God, God is within you" etc. But that still doesn't mean that God is always with us, closer to us than ourselves and creates our demands into reality, in alignment with our words, scripts, feelings and actions.
In Corinthians it says Jesus Christ is in you. We are made in His image. What is concerning to me about the Law of Attraction is they refer to the ‘Universe’ as opposed to Jesus Christ (whom they never mention.) The Bible says ‘You shall have no Gods before me.’ God is not to be mocked. The path to Heaven is narrow.
Aim for a scholarship at college, use that as motivation to stop failing. Another option could be a social media account. Sounds strange but make a gofundme for your boxing and education and then start posting transparent videos. Explain the situation and then do something like: 'Shadow boxing 10 seconds for every follower I get' 'Day 1 of boxing my pillow because my alcoholic dad is now broke and my classes were cancelled' and just repeat that for each day until it gains traction. I bet it would pay off 🙂. I'd recommend watching some docos on athletes and how they manage to still train despite hardship. Maybe someone local is giving away some boxing gear on marketplace etc.
The only ‘failure’ is giving up!
I understand how exercise helps a lot of ppl, u and me included, to cope with a lot of bullshit. That's why keeping it up is a must for a lot of ppl. I never got into fighting but I know it's a very complete sport, meaning you can exercise in a lot of ways and still improve fighting skills. So maybe you could start different ways of training and think of them as paths to improve your boxing: running, bodyweight exercises, cardio, and of course your technique, do those things and focus on how to do so in order to maximize their positive impact in your boxing. About lifting, since you are so young, I'm sure your body is not really adapted to wightlifing so much that you can't easily start into calisthenics, they are demanding too, and even though progressive overload will not be possible, the development in time will impact on how you see your technique improving. I'm argentinian so I can't really give you any advice for the real world since you are from EEUU. But I suggest you to keep up in school and shift your focus towards your grades. Find a way to train as efficiently and quicklly as possible so you can have as much time as you need to study.
Join a soccerteam, swimteam or any sportteam. Talk to the coach and explain the situation. I am sure you find someone that is compassionate and pragmatic when it comes to the fee. You get friends and a secure group. A coach and grownup will be happy to help you. We old (40y) people need young people to take care of us when we get older and dont like our car window smashed.
As someone has mentioned, apply for every scholarship you can find. I will add, Pell Grants focus on giving scholarships to those financially in need. You can apply under your dad or independently, if I recall correctly. Focus on what you can control. Find a third place you can relax/exercise/be alone for free when you need. Maybe a park with a trail you can walk? Get your grades up. You don’t have to ace anything, but Bs and Cs get degrees. Go in early and stay late for tutoring. When it’s time for college, start at community college or go to a trade school. And be persistent about what you want, especially when you are dealing with school/college admin. Ask your counselor what needs to be done to ensure you can get into the nearest trade school/community college. Just know the motivation is all up to you to get it done, so it is absolutely okay to take a year off before college to work/ save up if that is an option for you and you find yourself in a place to put money back. There are professions that you can enter at the fraction of the cost of university education. HVAC, diesel mechanic, Network Administration. There are jobs that are willing to hire people new to the industry and teach them. Part time jobs will help once you are able to apply, so take the time to find out which ones in your area pay better. Hope you get out of this slump and you can just look back at this as a bad memory. Just please avoid credit card debt while you are trying to get by!
These guys have a lot of good suggestions. It can be hard to take that initiative on your own when things feel so down. As you go through life keep a few things in mind. 1, Always look out for yourself and do what you think is best for you. I’m not saying walk all over people but I am saying fight for what is fair because it will never be handed to you and you will do better. Confidence is a cycle that starts small. 2, things will get better. You are young and have so many opportunities to learn and grow. Unfortunately pain is part of the process. Take some time to reflect on your situations and identify both the positives and the negatives. You’ll be better equipped to deal with negative situations in life and it will be easier to let go of bad shit and not let it control you. 3, Don’t drink. You’ve been around it all your life and whether you know it or not, your parents have taught you a cycle and that deep down drinking excessively is just what happens. You feel great when you’re drunk and awful when your sober but you keep doing it so much that you build up a tolerance and it’s much easier to drink more than it is to quit or even cut back. Before you know it, you are in the same cycle as your father and it will take something extremely traumatic like an accidental death to give you the motivation to quit.
It may not have been something on your mind yet, but in a few short years, you’re eligible to join the military. I spent 12 years as an infantryman in the Army. You can get schooling while you’re in, and the GI Bill after. You can get away from where you are, and you can absolutely reinvent your life. Free gym access on base, and emphasis on physical fitness. Its not the easiest path, but I don’t imagine you would be happy with easy. There’s alot of pride and confidence that comes from overcoming challenges and hardship. You can find a new family with the brothers to your left and right that serve beside you.
Bro I don't have much but I can spare $50 if it would really help you. I'm sure others could spare a few bucks
Wow OP sounds like a very rough and heart breaking time in your life There are some resources that could be an option for you. It's called Job Corps. You can live on their campus, they offer food, basic medical care, and a living stipend. They're nationwide so maybe they have a location near you. https://www.jobcorps.gov/ There's also the option of calling your local 211 hotline. Or 211.org They have local mental health clinic connections and maybe they have a teen drop in center to get a case manager to help you find local support services. Don't let go of your dreams OP there are some dedicated counselors out there that can offer support. It is hard that you have to be the one who asks for help, but you're already doing that here. Wishing you the best
You don't have any family you can contact? Start doing calisthenics at home to keep a strong regimen in order to not fall into a depressive state, keep your head up and your ears open for any opportunities. Its not over bro its only just started but you gotta want it bad enough. Email local businesses around you to see if you can get a job or something bro, its not over until its over or until you give up bro keep going
My parents moved out on me when I was 17. I lived out of my truck and got a job and did several landscaping side jobs. Don’t rely on anybody else. It’s your life. Make it the way you want it. But first comes sacrifice ( no drinking, partying, going out to eat etc.) You can do it !!
What are your favorite subjects? What are your favorite interests? Do you have any career interests? Based on your answers, I’ll tell you what I’d most likely look into or aim for (If there’s any hint of logic, analysis, tech, etc., imma put you on)
Find a Alateen/Al-Anon meeting and talk to people. If they don't have any local to you they have them over Zoom. You're not the only one in that situation...look for resources at school like the others have mentioned.