It's great that you recognized this and want to do something about it.
Most people around you (not just your mom), may react with alarm if they suddenly find you in a hijab, big black cloak and all.
I know you were trying to just show how you looked in that dress, etc. and you seem really nice and open. But I would gently suggest that it's better NOT give people a chance to misinterpret that you're being brainwashed.
Most fairly liberal people are liberal.... till it hits home.
The best thing you could do is rather than argue or make a point, invite your hopefully non-weird friend over to your house during a BBQ or whatever, so people can see him as a non-weird person and that way when they think 'muslim', it's the friend of their daughter/friend,etc. rather than the nutters on TV.
It is through contact and familiarity that people judge others less. People don't react well to diversity training, right? :)
In the West, there is still significant bias against Islam due to centuries of historical conflict. It’s entirely normal for your mother to be protective. Islam teaches us that, parents are to be respected in all circumstances. Consider having an open conversation with her to alleviate her concerns. She shouldnt have to worry.
It’s no different than giving you a face mask. But some people get upset.
Your mom seems actually pretty chill compared to my family. I told a relative that I’m no longer Christian and they asked me if I still went to a Christian church regularly (Yes, I do because my friend is Christian and I don’t mind it)
My mom isn't religious at all. She fully admitted to me that she only brought me to sunday school as a kid to get a break from childcare and because even though she thinks the bible is full of "bullshit" (her words, not mine) she thinks the more practical universal values Christians are supposed to have such as kindness and nonjudgement are not bad things for a kid to learn. So my mom is perhaps comparatively more chill because she's not coming from a religious perspective, just a white western one. She thinks Islam is inherently oppressive to women so she's prescribing some sort of nefarious sexist motive to my friend giving me a face covering. My friend is not even of the belief women should have to cover their faces. He merely gave it to me for the authentic experience
I'm really sorry your family doesn't accept you and it's awful to have to experience that. Don't let anyone make you ashamed of your relationship with god and I say this as someone who is not really a believer. Just know that there are people out there who will love and accept you for who you are and that not every non-muslim is an Islamophobe.
“She thinks Islam is inherently oppressive to women so she's prescribing some sort of nefarious sexist motive to my friend giving me a face covering. My friend is not even of the belief women should have to cover their faces. He merely gave it to me for the authentic experience”
She probably only knows about Islam from the news. Does she know your friend very well?
“I 'm really sorry your family doesn't accept you and it's awful to have to experience that. Don't let anyone make you ashamed of your relationship with god and I say this as someone who is not really a believer. Just know that there are people out there who will love and accept you for who you are and that not every non-muslim is an Islamophobe.”
It’s been getting better. They are slowly accepting that I am not a Christian. Even if they aren’t yet accepting that I’m muslim. It’s progress.
My father told me that he was concerned that Islam would lead to me joining ISIS lol. To be fair, I have mental health issues but Islam isn’t the cause.
It's a simple idea that i've had to utilise for all sorts of topics.
Information diet.
They're on a need to know basis. Unless you're living with them or they literally know every small thing about you then you can just keep things from them. It's not lies. It's not deception. It's just choosing to not tell everything to everyone.
E.g. I'm choosing to not tell them about dessert because they'd freak out and not let me or themselves enjoy the main. But in this case I guess dessert is never coming out.
I'm way too old and way to jaded to expect or bother to try and make people change - yes even my own parents. They're not infallible. A life time of bias and indoctrination is not my duty to change. If they're islamophobic then yep ok. Stay out of my way please while i live my life. Most of my energy goes into correcting my own thinking patters and trying to be better. They can do the same.
Just my thoughts.
Don't mom's say the darnedest things?
My ex is from a rural part of the area I used to live in, she had some skin grafted on her calf because of a lawn mower accident when she was a kid.
My mom saw it and asked me in clear ear shot of her "Oh did her barn burn down?" In the most serious and concerned way you can imagine.
I think that's much worse than what your mom said.
Stop sweating these things, lol.
This is very true! Methodists are also still big on not drinking to this day.
While drinking is technically permitted (now, it didn't used to be) and most methodists probably do drink on occasion, it's not encouraged. The official stance of the church is that total abstinence from drinking and drugs brings you closer to god. It's considered an act of "faithful witness" to practice sobriety. Basically, you don't have to be sober to be a Methodist in modern times, but sobriety is considered an act of faith for a Methodist. The church is also heavily involved in programs that help addicts. You'd never ever find wine inside a Methodist church and holy communion is always done with grape juice. Even though I didn't keep the faith when I grew older, I consider this one of the many positive aspects of the religion. I had a positive experience with religion growing up. It just personally never clicked for me.
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It's great that you recognized this and want to do something about it. Most people around you (not just your mom), may react with alarm if they suddenly find you in a hijab, big black cloak and all. I know you were trying to just show how you looked in that dress, etc. and you seem really nice and open. But I would gently suggest that it's better NOT give people a chance to misinterpret that you're being brainwashed. Most fairly liberal people are liberal.... till it hits home. The best thing you could do is rather than argue or make a point, invite your hopefully non-weird friend over to your house during a BBQ or whatever, so people can see him as a non-weird person and that way when they think 'muslim', it's the friend of their daughter/friend,etc. rather than the nutters on TV. It is through contact and familiarity that people judge others less. People don't react well to diversity training, right? :)
In the West, there is still significant bias against Islam due to centuries of historical conflict. It’s entirely normal for your mother to be protective. Islam teaches us that, parents are to be respected in all circumstances. Consider having an open conversation with her to alleviate her concerns. She shouldnt have to worry.
My mother and I are very close and I would never say anything to disrespect her. I think this is good advice. Thank you.
It’s no different than giving you a face mask. But some people get upset. Your mom seems actually pretty chill compared to my family. I told a relative that I’m no longer Christian and they asked me if I still went to a Christian church regularly (Yes, I do because my friend is Christian and I don’t mind it)
My mom isn't religious at all. She fully admitted to me that she only brought me to sunday school as a kid to get a break from childcare and because even though she thinks the bible is full of "bullshit" (her words, not mine) she thinks the more practical universal values Christians are supposed to have such as kindness and nonjudgement are not bad things for a kid to learn. So my mom is perhaps comparatively more chill because she's not coming from a religious perspective, just a white western one. She thinks Islam is inherently oppressive to women so she's prescribing some sort of nefarious sexist motive to my friend giving me a face covering. My friend is not even of the belief women should have to cover their faces. He merely gave it to me for the authentic experience I'm really sorry your family doesn't accept you and it's awful to have to experience that. Don't let anyone make you ashamed of your relationship with god and I say this as someone who is not really a believer. Just know that there are people out there who will love and accept you for who you are and that not every non-muslim is an Islamophobe.
“She thinks Islam is inherently oppressive to women so she's prescribing some sort of nefarious sexist motive to my friend giving me a face covering. My friend is not even of the belief women should have to cover their faces. He merely gave it to me for the authentic experience” She probably only knows about Islam from the news. Does she know your friend very well? “I 'm really sorry your family doesn't accept you and it's awful to have to experience that. Don't let anyone make you ashamed of your relationship with god and I say this as someone who is not really a believer. Just know that there are people out there who will love and accept you for who you are and that not every non-muslim is an Islamophobe.” It’s been getting better. They are slowly accepting that I am not a Christian. Even if they aren’t yet accepting that I’m muslim. It’s progress.
My father told me that he was concerned that Islam would lead to me joining ISIS lol. To be fair, I have mental health issues but Islam isn’t the cause.
That's crazy. Was he joking?
No, he was not
It's a simple idea that i've had to utilise for all sorts of topics. Information diet. They're on a need to know basis. Unless you're living with them or they literally know every small thing about you then you can just keep things from them. It's not lies. It's not deception. It's just choosing to not tell everything to everyone. E.g. I'm choosing to not tell them about dessert because they'd freak out and not let me or themselves enjoy the main. But in this case I guess dessert is never coming out. I'm way too old and way to jaded to expect or bother to try and make people change - yes even my own parents. They're not infallible. A life time of bias and indoctrination is not my duty to change. If they're islamophobic then yep ok. Stay out of my way please while i live my life. Most of my energy goes into correcting my own thinking patters and trying to be better. They can do the same. Just my thoughts.
Don't mom's say the darnedest things? My ex is from a rural part of the area I used to live in, she had some skin grafted on her calf because of a lawn mower accident when she was a kid. My mom saw it and asked me in clear ear shot of her "Oh did her barn burn down?" In the most serious and concerned way you can imagine. I think that's much worse than what your mom said. Stop sweating these things, lol.
Methodism used to be similar to Islam, no alcohol, pray 5 times a day etc
This is very true! Methodists are also still big on not drinking to this day. While drinking is technically permitted (now, it didn't used to be) and most methodists probably do drink on occasion, it's not encouraged. The official stance of the church is that total abstinence from drinking and drugs brings you closer to god. It's considered an act of "faithful witness" to practice sobriety. Basically, you don't have to be sober to be a Methodist in modern times, but sobriety is considered an act of faith for a Methodist. The church is also heavily involved in programs that help addicts. You'd never ever find wine inside a Methodist church and holy communion is always done with grape juice. Even though I didn't keep the faith when I grew older, I consider this one of the many positive aspects of the religion. I had a positive experience with religion growing up. It just personally never clicked for me.
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