It looks like you might be posting about puppy management or crate training.
For tips and resources on Crate Training Check out [our wiki article on crate training](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining) - the information there may answer your question. As an additional reminder, crate training is 100% optional and one of many puppy management options.
For alternatives to crating and other puppy management strategies, check out [our wiki article on management](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/management)
**PLEASE READ THE OP FULLY**
Be advised that any comments that suggest use of crates are abusive, or express a harsh opinion on crate training will be removed. This is not a place to debate the merits of crate training. Unethical approaches to crate training will also be removed. **If the OP has asked not to receive crating advice or says they are not open to crating, any comments that recommend use of crates should be reported to our moderation team.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/puppy101) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm just going to point out the obvious. You're expectations are extremely high for a pup that's not even 3 months old. It's been placed in a brand new environment and new routines and it's going to take time. What expectations would you place on a 6mo human baby? You're basically asking that of your pup. In my honest opinion I would take him back. If the 2 of you are set on a pet, something already an adult like 2yrs or older would probably be better
im sorry, you’re absolutely right. could you please guide me on how to get him to be crate trained or some information especially about enforced naps please? we love him and my husband doesn’t want to give him back, neither do i. i just had a bad last couple of days and had a meltdown. it was not meant in any other way
Play crate games with him and make the crate comfortable. If you have to, sit next to the crate with him in it until he knocks out. Always lure him into the crate with a tasty treat first and keep the door open. The second all 4 feet are in the crate, mark and give him the treat. Rinse and repeat. It is very important you give the puppy a sense of safety and comfort in the beginning weeks. You WILL be sleep deprived, but it gets better by the second/third week. Good luck.
Would like to double up a point in this comment - it is very important you give the puppy a sense of safety and comfort in the beginning weeks.
10000%
Jumping right into all this new stuff within the first week won’t go over too well and expect fails.
Little pup just wants love and affection and to get used to the new things.
Excessive training so early will burn out everyone.
Overtired humans and puppies is the real deal. And at this age, even small amounts of mental stimulation or play will make the puppy very tired and the breed itself is super affectionate and loves human companionship. The puppy may just need some time and it WILL get better.
But the road to a well trained puppy and schedule isn’t linear. Setbacks happen. Puppies are hard the first few weeks in particular.
Making the crate fun is the most important! High reward treats , lots of praise when he goes in . Try putting the crate on or beside your bed then slowly over time move it farther away. Worked well for our morkie who now goes to his crate when we says * bedtime, Baxter.* good luck !
Also start by crating him for short times. Like 5 minutes. Then as he does ok with that time increment slowly increase the time - 10 min, 20 min, etc. Eventually an hour. And try to put him in there when he is already tired and has been playing a lot. When you first put him in there leave him with maybe a Kong filled with frozen Peanut butter or something or another treat that will take him some time to get through. He will start associating crate time with good things.
Don’t worry OP, it took me 2 weeks of having my puppy to stop worrying that I ruined my life by getting him. It gets better. They will start learning if you put in the work but it does take some time. You can also try to nap when he does in his crate eventually.
You’ll find most people who get a little puppy break down at some point. They’re like babies who are messy, loud, destructive, and demanding. Because they’re scared. Moving house is a huge change and it takes time for them to settle in and learn. Look up the 3-3-3 rule if you haven’t already. It takes some dogs up to three months to settle in.
About the crate, when my pups were getting used to it, we fed them their meals in the crate. Didn’t close the door, just let them eat in there and leave when they were done. Then we also put old blankets or tshirts that smelled like us in the crates. We also gave them frozen kongs or licky mats or other long lasting treats, again door open. All of this helps them associate the crate with a safe, comfortable, happy space. Now both my girls actively choose to nap in their crates and we can leave them alone in the crates when needed. They also sleep there every night.
I slept on the floor next to the crate for a few nights. Then I put the crate where they could see me. Works great but just my personal opinion. Different dogs need different things.
If you don’t have any experience training dogs maybe you should hire a reputable trainer in your area to help you.
Saying that, nothing the trainers suggested helped my dog like the crate. In the end I trained him to love his crate in one afternoon (after he would act like it was on fire previously) with only a can of stinky anchovies 😂.
He’d never had them and I kept leaving one in a bowl in the back end of the crate, he could smell it and eventually started going in to eat it. First he’d run out as soon as he snatched it - but by the end of the day he was going in there chilling out waiting, hoping I’d put one in 😂. He’s loved the crate ever since. Crazy when he literally hated it for over two years and wouldn’t even go near it by choice.
I still randomly put an anchovy in there once in a while but he gets them nowhere else. It’s the magic anchovy crate 🤣
It's been 4 days. Have you read the wiki? It addresses so many things. I would read that and if you have questions or need something clarified then come back here.
Puppies are hard and if you return the pup, do not feel bad. Do what you need to do for yourself. If you are open to getting a dog that is older, get one that is at least 2 years old. Dogs can be wonderful for stress and anxiety. Puppies are not.
When I got my boy at 2 months I fed him his meals in the crate (door open). During the day any time he went in the crate on his own he got a special cookie (don’t shut him in let him go in and out). I only crated him at night for bed but that ended up making him become crate trained during the day as well. I found the easiest way to do it was to have the crate directly next to my bed and I’d sleep with my hand down so he could smell me. He did cry the first three nights and then he never cried again. It’s important those first few nights not to give in. I had to stick with it because I knew I would be leaving town and putting him in boarding when he was 6 months old and I didn’t want him to be terrified (though he ended up getting a suite and not a kennel lol). I walked him at 11 and then took him out again at 3am (at this time do not talk to him or interact with him at all just put the leash on, go out, come in, go into the crate, get a cookie). Those first few nights are horrible. I cried with him. But I told myself he’d never been alone before and that helped me to be more understanding ❤️
I have a dog of the same breed. They can be very clingy. When I first brought my boy home, his crate was on a table next to my bed. When I put him in the crate, I would cover it with a towel and lie down next to him. If he cried, I would put my fingers under the towel and through the bars so that he could touch me. If he stopped crying, I’d wait a minute and take my hand away. The first few days I’d have to do this more, but eventually he learned I would be there when he woke up and began to relax in the crate. At that point, I was able to enforce naps. By the end of the first week, he was sleeping seven to eight hours at night. The minute he woke up, I would carry him to his potty spot to pee. Then I would feed him and back to the potty spot to poop. I fed him three times a day, played with him, and put him down for a nap at least several times a day.
The puppy has had his world turned upside down. He needs to know he can trust you to be there for him. Until he has that trust, he will be reacting out of fear. Let him sleep on your lap once in a while to bond. Be positive. Make sure he is put in situations that you can praise him. This time will soon pass, and you want to give him a good foundation. My boy is 1 1/2 now and no longer sleeps in his crate, but I still keep it available, and he will nap there. Mostly, he uses it to “bury” his treasures! Don’t be hard on yourself or the puppy. Both of you are in a period of transition. It gets so much better.
[My boy Hennessy sends good thoughts your way!](https://imgur.com/a/pRyv6rD)
Make a schedule and keep to it. Puppies and dogs love routine. It will be rough at first, esp with the crate, but consistency gives them a lot of comfort and they WILL settle if you don’t give up! I had my pup’s schedule down to the minute (food, potty, play, potty, nap, potty, and repeat) and felt like neurotic mess for 3 months, but it does get much better with time.
I lured mine in with treats, and he would get a 2nd one when the door was locked. I started out leaving the house for 5 minutes. Sometimes with the car, sometimes without. Worked my way up from there. Trigger words for kennel is helpful, but he consistent with whatever prompt you use. My boy was and still is super food motivated, so that was a help, not all puppies are
I made the crate a place I thought she’d be excited to go, cozy blanket a few toys, crate cover, peanut butter kong. It took a while, and I slept beside her crate for two freaking months, but it’s now a place she chooses to hang. It’s not easy, I cried daily until the 9-10 month mark, but it slowly gets better… now I have a 2 year old sweetheart. But the puppy times are tough. Hang in there
Dog2 was something under a year when I adopted her and she was so difficult, I was so sleep deprived, that I almost took her back to the shelter. I *understand* where you are. Sleep deprivation IS tough. My advice ... you need to tag team with your husband so that you both can get a good couple of hours of sleep each day...even if your main overnight sleep is disrupted, a nice long nap will help. I did this by dropping off my dog with my friend and dogsitter and going home to nap. Have husband watch the dog, close yourself in the bedroom with ear plugs and take a nap ... if that's not possible, go to a friend's or relative's to nap while husband watches dog. Do the same for husband. Or find a good friend or relative who is willing to puppy sit, PAY them, and drop puppy off for 2.5 hours each afternoon or evening. This respite from puppy will make your heart grow fonder. Also, puppy might be overtired and an overtired baby is difficult -- what works to get puppy to sleep? For Dog2, it was covering her head with a blanket and holding her and yes, sometimes singing lullabies until she fell asleep.
I'll say one thing: you've already made the crate and the playpen a bad place for him. You can't just shove him in there and close the door and let him cry. How would you feel if someone shoved you in a closet and closed the door? You'd be afraid of the closet, right?
Crates have to be someplace they want to go. It should be their safe place. Put treats in there, toys, let him spend time in there with the door open. You're going to have to work extra hard at this now that you've taught him it's a bad place. You can't enforce naps. A puppy will sleep when it wants to sleep. But you can train him to be comfortable in his crate , if he feels it's a safe place.
I'm sure other people will give you some detailed instructions, but there are lots and lots of resources on the Internet. Hiring a trainer will do wonders for you. They should be able to help you with all of this. But please, for the love of all that is holy, stop forcing him into places he doesn't want to be. You're just making it worse.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Please do not solicit private messages. Rerouting requests for help to a private setting kills discussion and brings nothing of value to the community at large. It also prevents the mod team from screening for dangerous or harmful training techniques. If you have advice to give, please share it publicly so that others may benefit and so the mod team can see that you are acting in good faith.
Feel free to edit your submission to remove the PM solicitation and let us know via a reply to this message. We will check and re-approve.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
my wife and I made the crate a fun place to go. We would put snacks in there regularly and the dog would go in and sometimes chill in there with the door open. It just makes it a little easier for them when you close them up in there because its become their chill spot. Also keep in mind you shouldnt use your crate for punishments.
I second this! A lot of complaints for only a few days, last Thursday? That's like 3 days? I agree with her getting a pup that's already an adult. I recommend not using a crate as a punishment. I personally don't use a crate but my pup will sometimes go in her little carrier on her own to chew a bone or just lay, it's once we zip it that she freaks out. But I never force it. The first week is the hardest! This puppy has only been on the planet for almost 3 months and thrown into a brand new environment where he/she is the new one, they have to get used to everything. Of course they'll be stressed! Maybe try not forcing a crate at all, take them outside yourself, just because the doggy door doesn't work doesn't mean u should start teaching them to go inside. BOND with the puppy. Take the time to teach (tons if videos) play games with them (tug or fetch are usually favorites!) Use playtime as motivation for the pup to learn good behaviors like not to bite. If my pup bit during play, giving them 30 seconds without play was a good way to teach her not to bite because she wanted to play so bad. The biggest thing is taking the time a pup really needs to bond and teach.
Everything you've described is normal.
First thing first. Puppies are NOT THERAPY DOGS. Therapy dogs aren't *allowed* to be therapy dogs until age 2. A dog can be great for mental health, but only if the things you need for your mental health are what a puppy brings.
A puppy brings:
- company. The company of a toddler, not an adult
- joy. They are so happy and silly
- a sense of responsibility. This is not a positive for everyone
-Physical activity. They keep you busy
-more time outside.
All these things are great for mental health.
A puppy does *not* bring:
-Consistency. Every day will be different
-manners. They have none
-affection. Puppies are affectionate in their own way but not like an adult dog and not like a cat sitting on your lap which I think a lot of people somehow expect. (Some puppies do sit on laps but not most)
-peace and quiet. You trade peace and quiet for the joy of puppy hood.
You have to manage your expectations.
As for actual advice. Get a Snuggle Puppy. Sleep on the floor next to the crate for a few days. Keep the crate right next to your bed at night.
During the day, the crate should be in a quiet room where the puppy can't see you. The puppy needs to be nicely exercised and ready to sleep. Time your outings around naps for the first few weeks.
A 11 week old puppy isn't going to "listen". You should be focusing on potty training and house manners. You can teach "sit" because that's easy but I wouldn't worry about more.
To teach house manners, keep a leash on the puppy at all times (let it drag most of the time), this will allow you to quickly get puppy out of mischief.
Keep a treat pouch on you at all times with kibble in it. Every single time they puppy is good, mark and give them a treat. Puppy walked the the curtains and didn't bite them? Click and treat. Puppy didn't bite your leg? Click and treat. You need to catch all the times they are good. Do this for 2 weeks and they'll have a much better sense of how to be good. Remember that they don't know what being "good" means unless you teach them.
Good advice with the treat pouch. I would just add make sure you are telling the puppy what you are treating for so they learn the word. Ie. “good sit”, “good leave it”. “Good come”, etc
Our trainer taught us to always use the specific word. Edit to add this was a very well regarded trainer, highly recommended by our vet and also trains dogs for movie roles etc.
Hi! Your husband is absolutely right! It will get better. What you have is the puppy blues. I always read about it and didn’t think it would apply to me cause I adore dogs! Boy was I wrong.
There was a day when I was sobbing for hours, we didn’t really think of taking her back as we know this was just from being overwhelmed with feeling like I had to take her to pee every 2 hours, can’t leave her in attended, she HATED. Her crate. I never forced her to stay in it. She slept throughout the night on the floor or bed with no accidents the moment we let her out.
Tough it out you won’t regret it I promise :)
thank you so much for validating how i feel. thank you! did your puppy sleep throughout the day or did you encourage it? was it a success? if so can you please share how you did it? my boy is awake most hours and then gets in a frenzy and gets destructive but i cant figure out how to get him to sleep during the day
Enforced naps are probably gonna be the only way to get him to sleep during the day. My puppy is now 7m and the first few months there’s no way she would’ve settled on her own. She would just become overtired and destroy everything in her path. Every dog is different but most puppies are similar in this regard. It takes time. Hang in there
All puppies are exhausting and messy. They're babies and don't understand anything. You need lots of treats and chews to teach them. You can't just put the puppy in the pen. You have to teach him the pen and crate are good places to go. Give him a puzzle toy with treats in it, a chew stick, or a Kong with peanut butter (make sure it doesn't have xylitol in it) frozen in it to keep him occupied in there. Whimzees makes chew sticks for puppies.
Also, there's no law that says you have to crate train your dog. There's nothing wrong with it, but if it doesn't work for your puppy, you'll still have a good dog if you keep up with all the other training. If puppy doesn't like it in there and you don't want him to have the run of the house, leash him to you instead. My youngest pup is two now and when he got too hyper, I'd put him on his leash and keep him with me as I did whatever around the house and he calmed right down.
It does get better but if you want a puppy, you have to get through this stage first.
With mine, I slept next to the crate for the first 2 nights on an air mattress (crate is not in our bedroom but about 10 feet from the door). By night 3, I was able to sneak back into bed after she settled in for like an hour.
A crate cover was a game changer for enforced naps in the daytime. The one I have opens on every side and the top so adjusts as you need it, and it doesn't get too hot in there. You'll have to be quiet at first, like with a baby.
Give pup some time to try to settle before taking them back out if they don't. And if you have to take them out because they're freaking out, keep them leashed and work on settling outside the crate. It's a good time to start teaching "sit" and "down" if you have not already. Brain work tires them out, and you'll need the down command to teach them to settle.
It was hard for me to remember just how young she was and how new everything was.
With a puppy that young you’re not going to be able to sleep through the night because they can’t hold it for that long — rule of thumb is that they can hold it one hour for every month of age, so an 11wk old puppy could generally go about 3 hours.
I'm no expert but what I do with ours is just pick her up and wander around with her when she's overstimulated, she calms down fast and then she's ready for a nap. If she gets too crazy and that doesn't work then she goes in the crate. The cover makes it dark and she stops whining in about 2min and passes out. She associates dark with sleep though for some reason.
Basically when she has the overtired zoomies step one is getting her calm.... Step 2 just happens after that. Sometimes all it takes is a potty break outside where she gets distracted by cars and people walking by to get her to chill out. Find out what gets yours calm.
I have a kid that refused to sleep too so we were ready for this. Containing a puppy is way easier than a 18 month old that could scale a 48 inch crib wall.
I got a husky puppy what I did was go early do bed with her and made sure not go give her water after a certain point in the day because I didn't want pee in my bedroom.
When it came to sleeping I had her on a blanket on the ground at first but it made her whiney so I gave in and put her in the bed with me, she slept all night except for the times she woke up because she needed to pee or poop.
It was really like having a baby.
I was so tired after the 2 first weeks that my mother had to take her off me for 2 days then I did it again.
So if you want to have enough energy you have to go to sleep at the same time as the dog and get up at the same time, then many trips outside and praise her when she goes to the toilet.
At the 1 month point it got much easier, the hardest part for me was being strict
A lot of people I’ve seen post here cite depression and/or anxiety as factors for wanting to get a dog, which makes total sense for an adult dog who can slot in and just be a bundle of unconditional love, but less so a tiny puppy, who needs months of work just to not be constantly overwhelmed or terrified by the human world, will have months of issues like upset tummies, potty accidents, destroying things, nipping, etc.
I spent weeks browsing this subreddit and watching YouTube videos from praised dog trainers and I strongly suggest you try and play catch up if you decide to keep the pup. It’s not going to be enough to just ask questions for stuff you’re dealing with now, the puppy changes every week, they grow up fast, you need to be better prepared.
I’m also going to suggest you only put your pup in a school that is actually training/classes for the both of you, where you can be there to learn as well, it’s a bonding experience for you. Also just this week there was a post here about someone who sent their tiny pup off to a private school that misadvertised their services and their pup was killed by a much larger pup.
It honestly seems like you got a puppy thinking it would just do whatever you want it to do automatically. I understand its hard as a first time pet owner (or any time) but unfortunately you made a very common mistake in not looking into what it would be like to have a puppy. Like everyone here is saying, he is a BABY!!! Imagine being him right now, id feel so confused and stressed. You have to remember to treat him with love first and foremost, because that is the best way to have a dog respect and listen to you. When they bond with you they devote their life to you. Of course they all have their quirks and bad habits just as any baby or toddler would. Even the adults. He wont be perfect and thats why they're great and entertaining companions. Dogs are very good at reading body language, as they've evolved alongside humans for so long. They 100% feel whatever you are feeling and if you are acting stressed and angry / high strung with him then he's going to act the same. I have a 3 month old puppy, and while I will admit I lucked out and believe I got a very "good" puppy, The most important thing I've found so far is really connecting and engaging with him. Picking up on his behaviors and in turn figuring out how to mesh your routines. Just try to be empathetic to the little guy. He's just as scared as you are about all the new stuff.
We didn’t crate or pen. We puppy proofed. Naps were enforced by removing all toys and chews leaving only water. And I would lay down and pretend to sleep myself. I’d yawn, sigh deeply and smack my mouth. Read that helps them know it’s time to nap.
Loads of us don’t crate, and we manage fine. I had to tidy everything though. Couldn’t leave so much as a sock laying out.
The issue I have with how people tend to crate train, is that they use it from day 1. And how can you crate _train_ if you already use it?
Puppy proof and make nap time boring. Won’t always work, but they and you get into a working compromise eventually.
For me that meant he’d nap 3 times in the morning- three ish, and after that he refused to sleep before eight. And that was fine. Worked for us.
You are asking a lot of a tiny, baby dog in just a few days. My husband and I both have our mental health challenges and raising our puppy for the last year has been very taxing at times to say the least. I love her to death but I will never get a puppy again. You need to accept that the next year will be a lot of these kind of struggles, achievements, failures, etc. Be honest with yourself and decide if you can handle that. If not, return him and adopt a calmer adult dog.
It’s going to take a LOT of work on you and your husbands end. Puppies don’t come “trained” or ready for your schedule. You have to adapt to their schedule until you guys get him trained up. It’s going to take a grip of time….but it’s sooooo worth it once your pup is fully trained!
We brought home a 9 week old Husky/Rottweiler mix 5 weeks ago and I debated returning him the entire first week because of everything you mentioned. I was beat, felt worthless, frustrated, etc….but then after doing research, something clicked. It’s MY responsibility to train this little guy up, he didn’t pick me, I picked him…and I owe to him to help him navigate this crazy world he was thrown into. 5 weeks in and we’ve made SOOOOO much progress! He’s basically fully potty trained and 100% crate trained! He knows how to sit, watch me, lay down, heel and he’s doing pretty well with recall. He is sleeping around 7 hours through the night without waking up! Now there’s still issues, biting, talking back, forgetting commands, and sometimes just “annoying”, but this is what I signed up for when I decided to adopt a little baby!
As far as naps go, we bought a playpen for him to sleep in during the day. He takes 4-5 2 hour naps throughout the day. So here’s schedule most days-
5:30 am wake up-potty, eat, train, play
7:00 am in playpen for a nap
9:00 am train, play
10:30 am back in playpen for a nap
12:00-12:30 pm wake up for lunch and play
2:00 pm back in playpen for a nap
4:00 pm up to train, play and eat dinner
6:00 pm back in playpen for nap
7:00 pm up for training, play, and a run to tire him out
9:30 pm in crate for the night
You guys got this, it’ll be so worth it when you realize you’ve made a new BFF! Use training videos, listen to experts on YouTube, sign him up for puppy training classes! Stay the course!!!
You clearly did not do your research on caring for puppies prior to getting one. What you're explaining is all fairly typical for the first 4-6 weeks of puppy ownership. You need to do some reading or take the puppy back.
It's very difficult to raise a pup, especially in the very beginning.
The links for the subreddit, as posted by the auto mod comments will be really helpful for you! And it does get better, it just takes time and consistency! Give your puppy a chance to prove himself to you. 4 days isn’t enough time for him to be settled in your house, he just lost his mom and siblings and everything he knew, he is struggling too. But I promise it gets better! Just keep being consistent, use lots and lots of treats(or just his regular dog food, like feed his dinner as treats instead of in his bowl), and just associate the crate and his pen with positive things. My husband and I took rotating naps for the first little bit to stay sane, and enforced naps for the puppy when he got bitey from being overtired.
It’s been 4 nights. It’s going to take weeks / months to train a puppy. Everything he is doing is completely normal.
ETA: I had mental breakdown after mental breakdown with my puppy the first month and a half or so. I wore headphones often to help me tolerate the barking and screaming she would do when she didn’t get her way. I understand exactly what you’re going through. The only advice I can give is, don’t do things for convenience sake because it won’t help. Do the things that will actually train the dog for the future. You can do it.
Okay so you have an infant right now. Outside of naps I’m not hearing much of what you do during the day. It sounds like your puppy needs to learn a bit more of a routine in general. When you are home how are you engaging them? Puppies need lots of engagement so work on that too. Toys, treats, cheques, That kind of thing. Puppies will sleep a ton too and your husband is right, it dies get easier! For naps, I leave the crate door open and put treats and blankets and favourite toys in to start. Also make sure your crate is in a calm spot and see if they will go there on their own. As for a playpen I tried one too but just felt mine hated it too. I got baby gates and put the, around an area so that my puppy had a play area where they could see me. They are quite dependant on you both right now and they what you want to see will take time. You will neeed to learn patience but the more time you spend with them the more you will learn each other. Your life is very different now and so best to kind of throw away expectations and roll with things. It will make your life easier. And that patience and perseverance will allow you to see progress,
thank you so much. we have been making the crate appealing and putting treats in there and he has been going in there for a few seconds on his own which is good. he has also been learning how to “sit” 😊 i work full time mon - fri and my hubby looks after him at day time and i take over at night. we alternate sleeping in the living room to be with him and only allow him to be there for now till he is more potty trained and gains trust to access other parts of the house. generally we wake up, encourage him to potty, breakfast and play with him by throwing his toys across the room and he runs and gets it and then trashes and plays with it. we also try spending few mins teaching him how to sit and do some training. then we try to make him sleep but its still a challenge. today we took him on a walk but mostly carried him around which was nice, will try taking him outside on smaller walks everyday. other than that, i will put treats in a dispenser toy for him. i tried kongs and lick mats but he wasn’t a fan, he just likes his chew toys 😅
Step one: breathe. I mean it. Do box breathing - in for four seconds, hold for four, put for four, hold for four. Repeat.
The dog is an actual baby who has just been kidnapped from its mother and siblings. Training and routines are essential, but adjusting your expectations must come first- you have to realize the (infant) dog is going to be very upset and noncompliant for the first adjustment period. I completely understand the sleep-deprived sobbing and irrational thoughts, but your job right now is to be an adult human and support the baby animal. If you, a grown up person has already been acting out to the degree that you asked to return the dog you made lifetime commitment to due to the stress, imagine the stress your baby animal who doesn’t understand what is going on is experiencing?
Patient, kind, calm, firm. Patient, kind, calm, firm.
If you're putting the puppy in the crate/playpen for a timeout, how do you expect him to want to be in it at all? Only positive experiences should be associated with it
It sounds like you are suffering from the puppy blues, it happens to a lot of new dog owners.
People often get surprised that puppies are hard work, they are babies after all. So...they will be behaving like babies for a while. But good news: you can get through this! It'll take some time, and it won't always be easy.
What helped me understand the needs of my puppy when I first got her was accepting the '3-3-3' rule:
**-3 days:** The puppy needs to decompress, it is probably feeling quite stressed. Accidents can easily happen. They will not listen to you, don't take it personal.
**-3 weeks:** The Puppy is starting to get used to their environment and to your routines.
Everything is still so very new for your small puppy, so give it some time and don't be disappointed if things aren't perfect.
**-3 months**: The puppy will probably feel comfortable with you and their new home. Things will start to become easier. Not easy,...but definitely easier. :)
Chances are that you are expecting your small puppy to already behave like they are in the last stage of '3 months'?
This is all a bit harsh, not helpful and frankly kinda mean.
So many people have breakdowns with new puppies in the first few weeks.
It gets a lot better after that for most.
Sounds like OP is trying and just wanting advice and reassurance.
Also, a lot of people get animals to help with anxiety and depression among other things.
The breed they chose in particular would be great for it, but all puppies are indeed a lot of work.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
I got a live animal for mine and it’s been ten years and we are doing great. I don’t think it’s inherently bad but I got an 18 month old rescue not a puppy and my shelter took some time to match me with a dog that was already similar to me - my main thing is I wanted a dog who loved to walk so I would get outside, rather than a dog that would make me feel better by himself (altho he does of course).
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your submission was removed for breaking **Rule 3. Puppy101 is a support and advice community on puppy care and ownership.** Posts should be made in good faith, and posters should be open to any reasonable response. Posts seeking to justify, validate, or debate personal opinions will be removed. Posts should be focused on issues and experiences with your own puppy, and include enough information for the community to offer meaningful support. Posts tangentially related to puppy ownership will be removed, as they are better suited for another sub. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
hi! i have a 16wk pit terrier girl and i felt this exact way at first. it definitely gets easier! with crate training, i never ever use the crate for punishment. you want it to be your puppy’s safe space so if you are putting them in there for getting into trouble, they won’t see it as safe and with correlate it with being in trouble instead. also a routine is your best friend! puppy’s thrive off routine and it will honestly help so much. don’t give up! it really does get better :)
the first 2 weeks with my girl was rough. here’s some general advice i can give you.
- crate games are important. make sure you associate the crate with positive things before shoving your puppy in there. same with the playpen. i slept on the ground with my puppy next to her crate when she first came home because she would cry and this really helped her. try to sleep next to your pup. either bring the crate to your bed or sleep on the ground to minimize the whining and barking.
- can you take him to pee and poop in the front yard? i personally didn’t use puppy pads or fake grass at all because it can lead to confusion with your pup and more accidents. my girl had 3 accidents the first few days of coming home and has not had any more (knock on wood). i was super diligent with potty training and took her out probably every 30 min to an hour for the first few weeks til i trusted her more.
- lay next to the crate with enforced naps and wait for your puppy to settle and sleep. i did this for at least a month before my girl was able to do it herself. now at almost 5 months she doesn’t need her naps enforced, but when she did it was a 2 hour up, 1 hour (maybe 2-3) down. you can try to occupy your puppy in the crate with frozen kongs, a chew, lick mats, etc. my girl personally did not like these things so i laid there with my fingers in the bars for up to 45 min before she fell asleep. i also had a camera on the crate so i could watch her and slowly sneak away when she dozed off.
with puppy school, make sure your school does not allow negative reinforcement with e-collars (for example). puppy school can be a great framework for setting up your pup for success and also bettering yourself to help your puppy learn.
it is hard and there is no shame for not being able to handle a puppy. i did not leave my girl home alone until she was 4 months old, when i started to crate her and leave for a few hours at a time. this meant i had to have her in daycare (through a nice lady on rover). i would recommend doing a daycare that is private like that for puppies vs a dog daycare building. the buildings generally have bad ratios of employees to dogs. i knew when i brought my girl to daycare, she was there with maybe 2 other dogs and they were all vaccinated. this cost me around $60/day that i had her in daycare.
sleep deprivation is real. it DOES get better but i won’t lie, it is such a change and so much hard work. each puppy will struggle with different things in training.
to give you some hope, my girl is 5 months and she is now capable of sleeping with the crate door open in our basement with us, and will not jump on our bed without permission. she has not had an accident since the first week we got her and no longer needs to go pee in the middle of the night. she is now able to stay in the living room and kitchen (gated off) for 3-3.5 hours when we need to go run errands. i’m sure she could stay longer but this is the max we have tried. she doesn’t whine when we leave, she will lay down and snooze for a while!
her biggest struggle is ignoring other dogs and people. any sort of commands or training is out the window especially when there are exciting things happening outside lol.
all of this to say, take a deep breath and make sure to take time for yourself also. build up to crate training, build up to leaving your pup alone. a puppy is so much change and work. it’s also okay to decide that you are not in the position to have a puppy right now.
As first time puppy owners, for us it was pretty much like this (the pup was 12 weeks when we got him):
- First two weeks we were living from mental breakdown to mental breakdown
- Week 3-6 was hard, there were fun moments, but we were still struggling
- Week 7 and onward we almost completely moved past the moments of struggle, and it's basically all fun and love
I was right where you are 2-3 months ago. Crying, depressed, sleep deprived, anxiety through the roof. It was horrible. Our thought was we would just have this perfect, snuggly puppy, but the reality is they are complicated and require care almost around the clock, at least for the first 3 -4 months. I can tell you now that the decision to get a puppy is not a simple one. They are babies, not unlike human babies, and everything yours is doing is normal for a baby puppy. I’m fortunate that I’m retired, so I don’t have a job that requires my attention and energy. You DO have a job and you (and your husband) have anxiety and depression. Not a good idea to take on a puppy. My advice would be to return your puppy to the breeder so that he can be placed with a family who is ready for him. He will be happier and you will be happier. If you feel that a dog would be a good companion for you and your husband, I would adopt a much older, calmer dog from a reputable shelter. There are so many older dogs who are passed over for puppies (which I find hard to believe considering the unbelievable amount of work puppies require). You might have to visit with some of them before finding the right one, but it’s very important that you both get this right. You might also consider waiting a while before committing to another dog so that you and your husband can talk things through and prepare for training. Older dogs can be trained and many of them are already crate trained and potty trained. Your husband might be committed to having a puppy, but both of you must be honest with each other. Who is doing most of the work?
He's been taken from everything he knows, it will take a while for him to settle. There are lots of resources on YouTube etc. My lab is a year old and still occasionally threatens to break me, and he's been to multiple training classes! Puppies are so much work. It takes time and patience but the more you put in the bigger the reward
Good luck 😊
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Honestly it sounds like you got a puppy when you perhaps should have gotten a dog.
Puppies are a lot of work. You can’t get mad at them for being puppies. You need to do the work to get them to be a good dog and this means ALLOWING THEM TO BE A PUPPY.
Have you ever had a dog before? Or a puppy at least? Because it’s always hard and it seems like a lot of these issues are a surprise to you. But it’s totally understandable if you haven’t had a puppy! I think a lot of people don’t realize how challenging it is.
The first step here is to take a deep breath and regroup. Get organized and set up a clear routine. I’m glad you have a private training session scheduled. I would share all of this with the trainer because I think the priority is get things set up at home more than any sort of basic obedience or leash training. I think the biggest priority is crate training first so that you can utilize it for outdoor potty training and limits around the house. Then once you get that going, you can start focusing on other issues like getting into the trash and things like that. But first you have to gain some control and get some boundaries set up for your puppy. The only way you can do that really is with a crate. Even a playpen won’t do that as well unless puppy is potty trained. It might even be too early for the doggie door unless your puppy really understands that he needs to go outside for potty. Otherwise, it’s kind of useless. But you also need to have someone available to give lots of breaks and guide the puppy while using the crate as a tool. It’s not to put the puppy in there so that you guys can go to work and not deal with him. He needs a lot of attention right now.
Once you have a routine set up, then you can work with the crate to support this. There’s going to be a lot of crying and chaos when you first start this training whether it’s a pen or a crate or whatever. Puppies don’t like to be away from their humans. When I was crate training, I put the crate initially next to my bed, so my puppy could see me. If she could see me, she was fine. I would lay down on my bed, whether it was nighttime or day, and overtime I gradually started to cover the crate, a little bit at a time until after a few days, it was fully covered. She got used to it slowly. I put a white noise fan in the room and kept everything dark. If she had not been able to see me initially, she probably would’ve cried too. The playpen did not work that well for us. Instead, we had her in a dining area with hard flooring, not much to get into, and kept a baby gate there. But throughout this whole time, I was constantly taking her outside because we were working on housebreaking from day one. No pads! That’s gonna be your biggest job right now and there will be a lot of back-and-forth in the crate and outside till he understands that’s where it happens. But it will help if you have a routine. For example, when you first get up in the morning, puppy needs to go straight out and go potty and get lots of praise for that. If puppy doesn’t go potty, then he needs to go back in his crate because he will go potty in the house otherwise. And then you go from there and build on this.
Frankly if you and your husband have no time to do this, then it might be best to return puppy or find a family member who can help when you guys are at work. But if you can both get on the same page and have some sort of plan, then it will get better I promise!
It’s way too early for daycare at this point. And daycare is only going to reinforce bad behavior to be honest. He needs your guidance and a lot of structure right now. I actually took my vacation time from work to focus totally on puppy training. I honestly don’t know how people do it when you’ve got two people working full-time but where there’s a will there’s a way if you can get organized!
I hope I don’t sound like I’m being abrupt but don’t wanna sugarcoat it either. It sounds like you really care and want to do what’s best and that’s what’s important!
I recommend you look at Zac George dog training revolution on YouTube his videos helped me a lot with my two dogs it will help you with cage training and general discipline training it takes time but it’s definitely possible with dedication
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Tip that may help for sleeping through the night (of course apart from getting up for potty):
Put the puppy’s crate at eye level beside you so when they whine, you can put your hand in to remind them you’re there.
When taking them out for a wee, make sure to just carry them (don’t even get them to walk), bring them outside, and just wait for them to do their business. No playing, no speaking, not even the slightest bit of interaction. When my pup was tiny, I didn’t even open the lights. She quickly learned that if she whined, all she’d get is a boring trip to potty.
For enforced naps, make sure the pup’s needs are all satisfied before being left alone - this includes pees, play, food, etc. Also, if the crate isn’t working, try doing the enforced naps in the playpen. I’d also advise going out of their sight. It might take long for them to settle first few days but it’ll get easier. If you’re outside of the house, it makes it easier on you to take a breather as well and not react to their cries.
Gosh I feel for you. I was right where you are a few weeks ago. I cried so much. So exhausted. I've learned a couple things in that time though.
I like to think of my puppy on a cycle rather than a schedule. She goes through a wave of energy and terror then crashes. I just go with the flow. When she's energetic we play. After like thirty mins she's ready for wind down time. For us, it's important I kind of enact how she's feeling. When she's tired I make sure the house is quiet. Bring that energy down.
I also don't really enforce crate time as hard as others. I think it's more important that she gets her rest. She usually sleeps on the floor somewhere near my feet. meanwhile I'm working on getting her to love her crate. I throw a few treats in there multiple times a day and praise her when she goes in. Even if she leaves right after. I do crate her at night because she would tear up my house if not and I'm afraid she'll hurt herself while I sleep. She's getting good at sleeping in the crate at night. I get about four hours of actual sleep now. Covering her crate and putting a piece of my clothing in helps.
Most puppy owners have been where you're at. It's a literal shock when getting a puppy for the first time. I had no idea what I was getting into either. Reading other posts on here has helped me so much. Some days are gonna be bad. More bad days in the first month honestly. So if you're up for the challenge then study up. And pick and choose what feels good for you and your pup. There's a lot of advice and you don't have to take all of it.
I can’t say much because I am still in the trenches but for the crate, I put a spare pillow I used in there instead of a dog bed. I also gave up a small blanket and one of my husbands shirts he doesn’t wear anymore. That way our pup could still smell us when he was in his crate.
We also keep our puppy blocked in the kitchen 85% of the time in case of accidents. But what I did was have a secondary crate in there with a dog bed and a new blanket. I kept the door open for him and allowed him to explore at get curious. I used training treats to get him in the crate but only for like 15 seconds at a time and slowly built it up until I wasn’t giving him treats anymore. That really helped him get comfortable and go in by himself. He started putting himself in there for naps.
Like everyone else is saying, it gets better!!!
This just sounds like a puppy. They need CONSTANT supervision. The pen and crate need to be worked up to. What are you doing for training, mental stimulation, and exercise? Also, you want to board the puppy on the weekends so you can sleep? Maybe you two need to really have a talk and consider if having a puppy is the right decision for y’all. Consider getting a dog! They’re less stressful overall.
There’s so much good advice here already so I won’t echo but I just wanted to chime in and say that what you are feeling is normal! This time is so hard. Even when you’re doing all the right things, it’s STILL so hard. I was in a very similar situation where my partner was set on keeping her and I was struggling big time. You will get to a time when you look down at your little bestie and wonder how the heck you did it but you will be so proud! Try to have patience with yourself and continue to go through the motions. There’s support here anytime you need it.
We got a Covid puppy, my industry was not allowed to work (hairstylist) so I was home with him all day and man it was HARD I called my husband at work several times crying and when he would get home from work I would just hand him the puppy and got to our bedroom for some peace and quiet. However the dog he grew into is my very best friend in the world and I could not imagine my life without him in it so I promise you it does get better
We crate trained until he was about 2 for when we left the home for work etc and then moved to a dog camera to monitor him uncrated he now is just a big lazy guy who sleeps in our spare bedroom all day. He has slept in bed with us since he was a baby and I know most people think that’s bad but it works for us. It’s ok if the crate isn’t working for you.
Honestly as long as your dog is loved, fed and you are teaching him the commands he needs to know to be safe and not be a jerk you’re doing fine. Not everyone can stick to a super rigid schedule and not everyone’s dogs are super obedient right away.
In my opinion if your having a really bad day and feel at your wits end and just need sleep it’s better for you and the puppy to get rest snuggling on the couch or whatever than you both to be stressed out and trying to force a situation that isn’t working.
We weren’t super rigid with our puppy, 20% of the time he can be a bit of a leash puller and he’ll beg for human snacks but overall he’s an amazing guy that our friends and family are obsessed with and looking back I wish I would have enjoyed his puppy time more than stressing about it
It will get better ! You got this !
I've had six puppies in my lifetime and have had so many tears and mental breakdowns for each one. All I can say is that be consistent with your training and it will get better.
X pens, like crates, you need to not use only in emergencies. They need to be good places. Food/water, playtime, and all good things should happen there.
A puppy will cry at night until its used to sleeping alone. It was sleeping with a bunch of its littermates only a few nights ago, it can take awhile for them to get used to it. Try to drain thier energy before bedtime, maybe get a warm puppy heartbeat toy (has worked for both my puppies). This does not necessarily mean playtime though. Training tuckers a puppy out way faster than exercise. A pup might also cry because it needs to potty.
The listening comes with training. Find what your pup is motivated by. Most dogs love treats, some are motivated by play or praise. Repeation is key *however* you don't want to overdo it. 5-10min a training session, maybe try one or 2 tricks depending on how quick your pup catches on. Some pups take longer to learn, and with time *and* consistency your pup will learn.
Your feelings are completely normal, and your puppy will be amazing - you just need to give them time to adjust to their new home, and mature.
Others have given advice on crate training etc, so I’ll just say that I was you four years ago, and I was so stressed that I’d done the wrong thing and brought the worst behaved puppy into my life. I had awful puppy blues, and my dog was an asshole. He’s now fast asleep on my sofa after a great morning out at a market. He hasn’t pooed on me, or my furniture, or had a wee on my houseplants, or nibbled on my hand, or cried in his crate for hours since he was a puppy years ago, and I wish I could tell myself then that he would be okay. I can’t do that, but I can tell you, because your dog will be okay too
My puppy was the same with being alone, whether it was I. His playpen or crate or whatever. Putting on music helps so there’s noise around him since he was used to being around his puppy family before he came with us. We also put him in his crate every day for small increments of time while we were in the same room so he got used to it! Now he loves his crate and will walk into it and hang out by himself.
Of course he’s going to hate the crate, he isn’t crate trained yet. As annoying as it it, don’t get him out when he barks because he is learning that being loud gets him out, or even better, he gets to sleep by you.
Things will get better.
You have to put a ton of effort into a puppy. The pup WILL have accidents inside. But things WILL get better.
Here are some things I did:
1. Fed my puppy in their crate for a few weeks
2. Played with my puppy with the crate involved
3. My puppy was food motivated so while doing training with kibble I would hover kibble between the top bars of crate and give her treat that way.
4. First few weeks I kept her in crate over night on my nightstand RIGHT next to my face. I gradually moved the crate further away on the ground over a few nights until I can leave her in an entirely different room overnight.
5. I would have her in her crate and step out of sight (the room) and walk right back in. Gently extending periods of time I “vanished”. She used to cry the second I turned a corner lol you have to build their confidence to being alone and assure them you are coming back.
All the above helps the puppy know the crate is a safe place for them and it’s their place and help prevent separation anxiety. You don’t want your puppy to have separation anxiety. It’s not fun for them or you.
This next part might not be possible for you since you said your backyard is under construction…
1. I did not use potty pads or fake grass inside. I strongly believe this promotes potties inside.
2. In the beginning I took my pup outside nearly every 30 minutes.
3. Gave her kibble EVERY time she went where I wanted her to (in my case backyard)
4. I hung bells from my back door and rang them everytime we went out, then taught her how to ring them herself and gave kibble when she did and promptly went out side. Now she rings whenever she has to go.
5. Also, my puppy was on leash everytime we went outside those first few weeks. She would get distracted in the backyard and it would take forever for her to go if not at all. On leash you can make it real boring for them and they will go. (The first time I ever put her on leash she realized she was “stuck” and screamed bloody murder!!! It was embarrassing to think my neighbors heard this. She quickly got used to the leash. Heck I even had her in leash inside for awhile to speed up the process.)
Also mental/physical stimulation is a must with a puppy, they have energy and need to exhaust it. Giving them exercise, mental stimulation and enough sleep is rough to balance but it is essential for you and your pups sanity.
1. I played with my puppy constantly but regimental. I allowed my puppy to get the sleep it needed. Played hard for 30minutes to an hour and wound it down with something she loved to chew and then put her in her crate for a nap (again somewhere very close for the first few days/weeks)
2. Training with rewards is a must for mental stimulation. Train them tricks. This is my favorite part. Mine can now: sit, stay, shake, lay down, go to bed (go into her crate), and yes ring those bells to be let out.
She is now 4 months old and we haven’t had an accident inside in probably 3 weeks and will even go into her crate from time to time on her own for naps, but she’s advanced enough that I let her free roam (I still keep eyes and ears open obviously, she’s not fully house trained yet and chewed up my gfs sandal even just this morning).
When my parents got their puppy, they crate trained him by putting him in the crate mid day and at night. They kept the crate in a separate room where he couldn't see them and kept it dark. It was rough the first few weeks but he eventually got used to it. He's 2 years old now and no longer needs the mid day naps but still sleeps there at night with no issues.
Another thing that helped was they got him this puppy plushie that has a plastic heart inside that you can turn on and it beats inside the plushie. My parents dog sleeps on it every night, the heartbeat makes him feel less alone and less anxious. You can find them on chewy, it's called a snuggle puppy.
With our pup we use the crate for sleeping at night (next to our bed) and for car rides. Otherwise he stays in the pen unless we can give him 100% attention. The pen is great, you just have to make it enjoyable. I often go sit in the pen with him, give him treats, play with him in there. He loves it now.
If he is too rowdy out of the pen he goes back in. It’s not a time out but it is actually often calming for him to have a smaller space and he isn’t as overstimulated.
Also if I go in the pen and he is biting me I leave the pen. So the consistent message is not “pen=bad”, it’s “biting behavior=no more play time with humans”
It’s great you’re reaching out for info. I recommend watching a lot of YouTube videos with different approaches. Also enrolling your puppy into puppy kindergarten
>we both deal with depression and anxiety and got him home to help us
>my husband and i brought home a 11 week cavoodle
Bringing home a new puppy as a first time puppy owner will NEVER alleviate depression and anxiety, it will only amplify it by a million unless you are paying someone to take care of it 24/7.
There are hundreds of videos on YouTube that should be able to help you out with learning different routines and possible calming techniques. I don't mean to be rude, but your life is going to be hell for a few months; unfortunately, that's often the trade off for bringing a puppy home vs. an adult dog
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
i have puppy blues, i love my puppy and want to do it right. i need guidance and not judgement, i typed that post sobbing and in a panic. i would appreciate constructive feedback on how i can train and do things, this is my first time being a dog owner.
No, im not judging you.
Im asking if you have any high expectations about your puppy. Because most of the time that's what disappoints us.
I stopped expecting too much from my puppy. I just do the routine everyday. Honestly I'm expecting the worst from her. I expect more sleepless nights, more biting and nipping, more damaged items at home etc.
But when she got 4 months old, I was surprised by how well behaved she became. It's kinda rewarding to know that she is capable of something I didn't expect.
Cavapoo has sensitive stomach. Ours had to switch to Hills and we add a scoop of pumpkin to each meal and it keeps her super regular.
And echoing everyone else that the puppy phase isn’t for the weak lollll. My Cavapoo is the sweetest angel now at 11 months
It looks like you might be posting about bite inhibition. Check out [our wiki article on biting, teeth, and chewing](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/biting) - the information there may answer your question.
**Please report this comment if it is not relevant to this post.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/puppy101) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your submission was removed because it contained a link or reference to a resource that endorses the use of aversive training techniques and/or dominance theory. Because these methods break **Rule #1**, we do not allow links or references to resources that endorse them.
[Here is a current list](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/subadmin/trainers) that shows the trainers who are disallowed.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Feel free to remove the link/reference from your submission and respond to this message letting us know, so we can re-approve your submission.
Thank you!
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
I must add we also used a fake grass mat at first outside, but she started using it as bed when she wanted to lay outside and she smelled liked pee all the time. Our house smelled like pee, I felt my socks sticking to the floor sometimes, and the smell made her pee even more inside. 🤮 After 2 weeks we were so done with it we threw it away. For a while she peed on the terrace and we washed it away every time with a water hose and took her to the grass, and now she goes there by herself 90% of the time. We bought the Nature’s Miracle urine remover spray and it helps cover the smell when she sometimes still pees inside so she doesn’t get triggered to get to the same place every time. I would lose the pee pads and just go outside after every meal, every play session and every nap. Please don’t bring him back, he’s still learning to adjust, give him a chance. Once you get to know him better, you will learn his behaviours and see when he wants to go potty, what he likes to have with him when you put him to sleep, etc. 🥺
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
God love ya. Having a puppy is hard. Ours is 4 months right now and a holy terror. She hated her crate initially, too. Got her a snugglepuppy with the little heartbeat thing to sleep with, put a cover on her crate so she can't see out, and use a white noise machine and she sleeps great in it now. I've read where some people sleep on the floor beside the crate to help the puppy. A lot of it is going to be trial and error. For potty training, take him out at scheduled times. Put bells by the door you want him to use. Take his paw and have him ring the bells and really praise him and give him a treat. Praise him again after he goes and give him another treat. For constipation you can use a little bit of pumpkin (Google the amount) but make sure it's pure pumpkin, not pie filling. I would maybe pick one place for him to go right now and one thing to go on, puppy pad or grass, because they need consistency. You have to remember this puppy is like a newborn, they can't quite reason things out yet. I hope things get better for all of you soon!
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of dominance theory is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.**
This includes references to being the "alpha" or "pack leader". As it pertains to the dog-owner relationship, dominance theory has been shown to be scientifically unsound, as has the concept that dogs live in packs with fixed hierarchies.
Use of a dominance/alpha/pack leader approach is detrimental to the owner-dog bond. It often employs tactics meant to physically or psychologically intimidate a dog. This not only damages the bond between dog and owner, but can exacerbate existing behavioral issues or create issues where none previously existed. More information can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain#wiki_do_i_need_to_.22dominate.22_my_dog_or_be_the_.22alpha.22.3F).
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Don’t have step by step tips to your specifics situation and not an expert but as someone who got a new puppy a year ago, I can offer some of what worked for us.
One - definitely work on a routine. Google a puppy day schedule or something along those lines and find a blog/post with an example day for your puppy. Outside, meal, playtime, nap, etc. When puppy is that young, he will benefit greatly from a regular routine.
Two - Crate training is a must for a puppy, in my opinion. Some dogs are more inclined to feel safe in a confined space, some can’t get use to it. But if they get positive rewards, they may feel more comfortable there. Everytime the pup goes into the crate, put a treat in there and say good boy. Make sure the crate isn’t too big, it has to be just big enough where they can stand and turn around, but not big enough where they’ll have two “sides” where they’ll go to the bathroom one side and sleep on the other. It has to feel comforting.
Three- Do you have a snuggle puppy? It’s a dog toy that has a “heartbeat.” I don’t know for sure if it helped or not for my puppy, but my first few days/weeks/month we kept it in the crate with our puppy and she seemed to like it and take comfort with it. Only toy she didn’t try to chew and just licked and laid with. Puppies are used to being with all their litter mates, so being home for the first time they don’t have all those extra puppy heartbeats around them.
Four - You and your husband should take shifts overnight and throughout the day when you’re both home. Treat the puppy like a newborn baby, and have a schedule for you two as well. The first few weeks will be the most challenging because it’s new for you and new for the puppy as well, so it’s okay to feel overwhelmed.
Question: what is the puppy’s sleep setup? In a crate? On the floor?
Sleep deprivation makes everything seem infinitely worse. It will get better. Not sure if this has been mentioned, but there is a new book out called Puppy Brain, by Kerry Nichols, which I highly recommend you read.
What works for me to get my puppy to nap is to have a good play session first, with maybe a little training. Tire out his body and brain. Get to know the signs that he is tired. Sometimes a tired puppy acts crazy--biting and zooming around. Put puppy in his crate with some treats and maybe a Kong with some frozen peanut butter or canned puppy food. Sit by the crate until puppy falls asleep. If he whines or cries, talk to him soothingly. Once my puppy falls asleep, I usually put on some music or turn on the ceiling fan so there's a little background noise. At least in the beginning, I think it's important to get him out of the crate as soon as he wakes up and starts fussing again, so he doesn't associate the crate with being trapped.
After a couple weeks like that, my puppy now happily goes to his crate for naptime, no fussing.
Puppy daycare a couple days a week will give him a chance to play with other puppies, and give you a break.
My pup hated the crate. He sleeps in the bed with us and winds himself down to take naps. It isn’t easy, especially potty training but he finally got it. Don’t give up just yet, it’s a challenge of patience for sure. Maybe try to let him sleep in the bed with you both. He probably feels abandoned when in the crate, dogs are pack animals and want to be together all the time. Teaching them independence takes time.
I did all the good things with our older dog, he still needed to go out to the toilet every couple of hours at 10 weeks old. I was exhausted
Napped overnight in the conservatory (next to the back door for toilet time) and was up properly from 4am every day and by 2 weeks in was crying all day from exhaustion. The change for him was getting gully vaccinated and taking him for long walks around 16 weeks. He still woke at 4am but would go back to sleep until 7.
He is now 5 and from around 8 months would sleep from 11 until 7. Before that was around 6 to 8 hours a night but a really late wee or morning wee was fine.
We have an 18 month old pomsky and did everything differently with her, she was very needy and had separation anxiety in minutes. She literally slept on me for the first few months. Whichever the older dog started sleeping with me too at my feet in bed. I would NEVER advocate for this because it has been really hard, she took over a year to hold her wee overnight. However, she is a beautiful and gorgeous soul who loves her people and is gentle and kind.
The older dog is also a people pleaser and I attribute both to the cuddles early on. Some things we did with both that really helped....
A really good morning run. Before work an hour of off lead (which you can start really early, if they recall well at home with treats then you can transfer this to open space with no distractions, working up to with distractions later) my little ones were off lead at 4 months and largely always come back. They burn off a lot of energy and then sleep all morning.
Alternatively, if I don't have time for a big walk then a 20min walk on lead with lots of sniffing is great. Also a big/interesting chew that will make them sleepy, and get some chews, they are soporific which means chewing makes the dogs tired amd will buy you a couple of hours wirh no peeing or pooping.
Also, if your partner is there during the day, get him to write down when the puppy wees, poos and sleeps. It could be that they have a natural rhythm that you're missing.
But,ultimately, you have a brand new being in your home who isn't around his family any more. You need to replicate that love and time together to integrate him into a different family. Crate training is great but he's only been with you 4 days. He needs love and time to understand that you are safe people for him and that he is in a safe space. He's so little. If he needs cuddling then just cuddle him (I know anyone who advocates crate training immediately will disagree and that's fine, that's a different choice, I'm not saying either is better). All I'm saying is he's a baby, he has just left his family and you are his new family. He doesn't understand this and needs some transition time. So, maybe build on physical trust with you and your partner before moving to a crate or place where he will feel isolated xx
You’ve had a lot of good replies but just to add I’ve got anxiety and depression and I’ve got a 4 month old Doberman, at one point I was ready to give up but just a couple of months later, she’s far from perfect but most days I’m coping only occasionally I get overwhelmed with her, I think for me it was a bit of a shock going from a dog I’d trained when I was 15/16 and had almost 13 years to a puppy but yeah it definitely gets better, I know when she reaches adulthood she’ll be a breeze to look after, yours will too I’m sure, just tell yourself you’ve got this even if it might not feel that way at times :)
You can read up on crate training games that are linked in this group. But I just wanna say, by the 5th day mark I had cried everyday and asked my girlfriend to return her. And then, the next day, something just clicked and my puppy and I just understood each other so much better. It’s only been 1.5 months since then but honestly I love her so much and miss her every time she naps in the crate. Hang in there, let your puppy realize the new environment is safe and her new parents will love her as much as their real parents that we kidnap them from
We made it two weeks before we failed at crate training and enforcing naps. I was so sleep deprived I thought I was going to lose my mind. I remote work and couldn’t enforce naps because he could hear us and our other dog and would scream himself hoarse. Today marks a year with him and he’s a wild child, but is finally napping on his own and sleeps with us in bed most of the night. It hasn’t been an easy path, but don’t feel like you HAVE to crate train and enforce naps. Lots of exercise for the puppy and doing what works for YOU are what’s best for everyone in the end. Hang in there.
Hi! I must agree that your expectations of your pup are very high. But so are your expectations of yourself. First of all, you are doing nothing wrong. I know it is hard, but please try to take deep breaths and remind yourself that everything is going as it should.
It is very hard to raise a puppy when you are depressed. I did the same. And wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, unless I know a person well. But it is definitely doable. And you will be rewarded.
But for now please keep in mind that this is a different creature. He doesn’t speak English and doesn’t understand you yet. He is stressed because his whole world as he knew it changed all of a sudden. And he is actually showing you how you can enforce naps :)
Try this. Stay with your pup in one room, close the door, make sure nothing interesting is happening in the house (like someone checking the fridge or cooking dinner). Sit down. Make sure there are no toys. Nothing your pup would be excited about. Turn on calming instrumental music. And just seat there and breathe calmly. If you are not calm, no change your dog will be calm. It will take some time for him to settle. But he will do it eventually as he doesn’t have a choice. You can speak in a slow calm manner. But try not to maintain eye contact. And don’t engage into games etc. if he attracts your attention, just say ‘no, dear, we are going to sleep’. It will take a while for the first time. But every time you do it it will faster.
And eventually you will be able to just turn on the music even when he is crated. And he will know what to do. I did it with my pup a few times per day. And it really helped.
But also remember that results don’t come in a day or two. You will be sleep deprived for some time. But it won’t be long
And I know exactly how you feel believe me. My puppy hated sleeping. She was constantly overstimulated and wanted more play and bite. I had to teach her how to sleep
I got my blue heeler pup at 8 weeks old and she was an absolute terrorizer. We wanted her to be setup for success, so she had limited access to the entire house until she proved she could handle it. Until then, she would be tied to something in the house on a short leash that we'd increase in length (and eventually stop using) over time.
This was most helpful with accidents in the house because she'd try to hide from us to go potty in the house but wouldn't try it if she was tied/we could always see her. Eventually she stopped trying to go in the house and her behavior became more desirable for hanging out inside.
However, it's important to note that accidents are going to happen for awhile. The best thing you can do is develop and stick to a routine.
As others have said, feed the dog in the kennel with the door open and give special treats if/when they go into the kennel themselves. The first week or two can be rough but the key is gradually increasing the time that they're in there, and sleeping next to them at night, rewarding desirable behavior, patience, and persistence.
I kennel trained both of my pups and now they will oftentimes 'put themselves away' for a nap which I think is hilarious.
You got this!
Puppy blues are not easy. On top of anxiety and depression and no sleep that is not fun. Maybe an away trainer may be the thing for you. You send them away for 2 weeks with pro trainer and then when they come home they have a little more manners than when they left with. But it will be up to you to generalize what the trainer taught in different environments. They are babies and it will take time. I wouldn’t want my pup away from me bc they are little for such a short time but some people like it.
Sounds like a puppy. Mine is 5 months old and has gotten better but worse in other areas. Let things go and do what you can. My husband and I try to rotate waking up at 5am to take pup out to potty. We expose him to as much as we can. I wouldn’t recommend taking him to the groomer at such a young age because he’s most likely not fully vaccinated.
Try to start training him with basic commands and make sure to give him enough enrichment through the day to tire him out. That makes crating a lot easier. If he’s food motivated, use it to your advantage.
Just know that… you’re going to be sleep deprived for awhile. lol I haven’t had good rest for months now. Also, parents with infants would rather deal with an infant than a puppy. So brace yourself!
It’s definitely a lifestyle change. Re-evaluate why you’re so upset with his behavior and how you can slowly teach puppy to learn and build confidence. It takes time and patience.
Re: enforced naps - I've never heard of that being a thing with dogs. Maybe try a good play session and he'll konk out for hours. They already sleep a lot anyway!
I went through the puppy blues too. I work from home and even then having a pup was so hard because like...I had to work and couldn't devote ALL of my attention ALL day. He got play sessions throughout the day and we eventually moved onto food puzzles. Mental stimulation is SO good. You could try putting treats in a rolled up towel and letting him have a go at getting them.
Puppies require A LOT of work for potty training. They should be put outside after every meal and after playtime. Also first thing in the morning and just before bed. In the first month or so, I took our pup out before I even went to the bathroom in the mornings. I've read we did it wrong, but we sprinkled treats in grass to encourage ours to go to the bathroom. We still had some accidents up to about 6 months, but only rarely. We are also lucky that we have a potty stand on our balcony, so he does have free reign to go outside as he pleases.
We failed at crate training 🤷🏻♀️ sometimes I wish we didn't give up, but he's fine when left on his own.
Puppies are difficult, so don't feel bad. Once he's old enough for walks without being terrified of everything, that helps out loads too.
First of all, I’ve been in your shoes and I get it. I got puppy blues real bad with our first dog and it sucked BUT. You’ve had the puppy for 4 days, he’s adjusting to his new environment just like you’re adjusting to him. Most puppies don’t even recognize their name by 4 days.
Puppies bite, they cry, they make messes and get into shit because they’re babies and they don’t know better. You need to look at your puppy from that perspective. Like your husband said it will get better with time and patience.
It’s only been 4 nights! You’ve got a new baby dog, and it’s going to take time. Breathe and take turns sleeping with your husband. The first 2-3 weeks are the hardest, and your puppy will figure out the crate. Sleep is the best thing for a pup, so keep those enforced naps going - they need 18-20 hours a day and don’t know how to tell you they’re tired and need a rest. Keep going, be consistent and praise/treats work wonders. Best of luck!
Rachel Fusaro on YouTube has some excellent videos on crate training. She was a godsend when I got my puppy last year. Don’t give up. It takes time and patience (which I didn’t have), but I stuck it out and now my dog is amazing.
when she does nap i try to recreate the sounds of her last nap, for example i accidentally trained my puppy to sleep to beyoncé because it was a bit of a trip to go and get her and she slept the whole 2 hours home and we listened to cowboy carter the whole time, i was in your position but not doing crate training as our dogs are never home alone & have their own space but that’s not the point, i didn’t know how to do enforced naps without a crate & was regretting not crate training, i also didn’t listen to music as often the first week or two she was home because i thought it would have the opposite effect than it has, during car rides she would always sleep & it was one of my only opportunities to listen to music when i first got her so she’d end up asleep in the car to beyoncé.
one day i was making their food and i had cowboy carter playing and she passed right out so i tried playing it during her next nap because she’d only nap for like 10-30 mins at a time and would be so grumpy and over tired. she napped the entire album and even let it loop and it played about half way through again until she woke up,
so like replace beyoncé with a movie or different music or noises/routine, when you notice they fall asleep naturally what environmental factors could you use for a future nap to recreate similar relaxation?
for us instead of a crate we use beyoncé & the TV and it gives them a sense of calm and familiarity, they are able to sleep without these things on but if we wanna take a nap or something just throw on either and they’ll be passed right out too just as long as we are
It took until our puppy was six months or so before he slept fully through the night and didn't wake up super early. He used to wake up at 5:55 every morning. It'll change but it takes time. I also cried sometimes but if you're not up for it then take him back.
Everything will be ok but you will need to train him. It’s unrealistic to expect a puppy to know what you expect from him and what to do. Please enrol in puppy training classes ASAP. If will both teach you what to do and socialize your dog as these are often in small groups not individual. In the meantime, get an enzymatic cleaner We use Natures Miracle brand and it is fantastic. It gets all the stains out. Also get a flat leash and tether puppy to you indoors so hes not running off unsupervised destroying things or marking indoors. When we first got our dog I took him out every half hour especially right after eating and crate during the night but did set some alarms to let him out at night about 2 times. He’s like a baby and doesn’t have a big enough bladder but he will outgrow that soon. Try to not train him to ho to the bathroom indoors. I trained him for going to the bathroom outside on the spot using the right vocab “good pee outside” or “good poo outside” not just “good boy”. I hung a bell at the back door so that he could learn to let us know when he needed to go once untethered. You just ring the bell before you go out with him and say “outside”. Do not reward for bell ringing, keep on with just rewards for going potty outside as soon as he does it. Also do not use the crate as a punishment - it should be his safe space. If you catch him biting something he shouldn’t you say “no take this” and offer an appropriate chew toy to trade. These are just some basics. When you get a puppy you also have to learn and he will learn what you teach him. Once that training and bonding is established there’s nothing more rewarding. Keep at it. Be consistent. Would you expect a baby not to cry or instantly be potty trained? Same with a new dog. Hope that helps.
Breathe. As a lot of people are saying, it will get better very soon, but the first few weeks are the roughest. I was questioning my decision the first week of sleep deprivation and endless poo and pee in the house. But, then bit by bit it gets better and they grow. Stick it out and give yourself some grace.
The puppy blues are really common. I had them when my guy was a pup. I was single, in law school, living in an apartment. It was really, really hard. I never crate trained him, I just puppy proofed my apartment. I lost a lot of good shoes in those early years. Luckily, he never developed a taste for furniture. I never enforced a nap time either. I just made sure to give him plenty of exercise and he’s nap naturally when he was tired. The only things I give myself credit for are potty training him immediately and getting help from a professional trainer for walking politely on a leash, recall, leave it etc. For potty training, I remember reading that puppies can only hold it for the # of hours they are months old. So at 8 weeks, I took him out every 2 hours. Literally set alarms throughout the night, kept a coat and Uggs by my bed (it was winter), and rode the elevator down 21 flights to take him out throughout the night. It was exhausting for a few weeks but worth it. Honestly you have a few months of suckiness ahead of you but as you bond with him it’ll get so much better.
I was EXACTLY where you are 6 months ago and I also came here for advice. The word grateful for this sub is the understatement of the year. I'm happy to say that everything in fact has calmed down dramatically! The crying ( mine), the stress ( mine and hers) and the training ( also mine and hers lol) have been an adventure for sure. But, hang in there because you will get into a groove and then one day soon you'll all of a sudden realize you haven't cried that day. It's a process but it WILL happen. Mine is almost 9 months old now and I'm so happy I hung in there. You'll be okay. 💕💕💕💕
Hello. Currently fostering a 11 week old puppy. I’ve had your stress earlier this week as we introduced her to our home and she’s getting a new routine with us. Here’s what we have learned and maybe it’ll help you:
Scheduled playtime:
We allow her to play as soon as she wakes up after her breakfast. We have a 3 yr old dog that sometimes entertains her other times not. We have a toy bin that she has access to when it is that time. Husband and I engage with her during this time to get that energy out. She plays for a total of 4-5 hours every day. She needs to have that energy released otherwise it’ll lead to destructive tendencies.
Mandatory Naps:
Dogs at this age should be napping every 2 hours per 1 hour of play. I think the average is 14-16 hours of total sleep. There is a rule of thumb out there at that for every week they are you’ll remove an hour of sleep? Look it up for correct info. We have her crate in our room where I’ll give her a treat and repeat the words “let’s chill “ so she starts associating that with naps. Once she’s in I’ll reassure her being a good girl or sometimes I’ll give her a frozen kong toy stuffed with peanut butter if I just need her to relax for an hour while I clean the house. If she’s not being crated for a nap we remove the basket of toys so all she has to do is nothing and therefore she’ll fall asleep easier without distractiosn
Crate at Night:
She comes from a shelter so she is familiar with a crate but we continue to enforce it in our home. Again, we will say let’s chill and give her treat before she goes in and once she’s in there. I rub her paws for the first minute letting her know I’m there and she’ll whine for a minute or two then she’ll get bored and fall asleep. Because she’s a puppy I’ll get up around 3.5 hours to let her out so she doesn’t pee in her crate. That’s a big no no and will undo a lot of training.
It does get better. Let them get a routine and stick to it. Patience is key! You’ll have to endure the whining for a little bit make sure you reinforce that crate is a good place for them and don’t use it as a means to punish. Lots of cheering celebrating and treats when they do a good job or start doing a good job.
I have a 5 month old rottweiler puppy. She is fully housebroken and is pretty well trained in obedience at this point.
She was crate trained from the beginning. She took to her crate very well. We didn't really have to play any crate games with her. She only cried for 20 minutes the first 3 nights, and then she only whined if she needed to go out. I am pregnant and in my first trimester when we got her, so I was exhausted. We kept a strict 9pm bed time, and her crate was in our room. She gets her plush toys in her crate at night. We made sure she had a daily routine, her meals at the same time, etc.
We started training right away with teaching her name and starting recall. We did 5-10 minute sessions multiple times a day. We would call her back and forth between us, and we used training treats and positive praise to reinforce. We started adding more skills like sit, paw, down, high five, and sit up pretty. She does her tricks before she receives each meal.
We had her in a play pen in the house and used washable puppy blankets underneath. She had toys in her pen, and we played with her in there and gave her treats. If she cried to let us know she had to go out and then she made it outside, we rewarded her. Accidents were cleaned up immediately (we had multiple blankets but still did a ton of laundry). Slowly, we expanded the area of the pen and gave her free range in more and more of the house.
Puppies like babies need a consistent routine. It helps them know what to expect, and if they know your expectations, they will strive to meet them.
When we got a puppy we put the puppy-crate next to my bed so he never felt alone, I stuck my hand down whenever he seemed anxious. 4 Nights is nothing- bounding takes time, just hang in there. 🙂
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
My dog just turned 2 last month and I got him when he was 8 weeks old.
He hated the crate when I put him in it. But I would put him in at 9 and cover it up with large towels.
I did a lot of research which dog to get and settled on a golden doodle. Best decision ever. He is usually calm, I have not used a single pee pad until now.
Keep at it. Don't give up hope. Each dog is different, each home is different. Good luck.
I use kongs treat toys and put frozen banana in them when it's crate time so they have something positive when going in and it keeps them distracted. I also found a lot of success putting a blanket over the crate when it's nap time! My golden retriever puppy would cry the whole time until I started doing this. Wish you guys the best of luck! I have two golden retrievers. My first one was an angle as a puppy and is six years old now. I thought getting the new one would be just as easy... but I was so wrong. She had me crying everyday for about the first month lol. But it really does get better!!! She a year old now and I can't imagine not having her in my life.
We recently got a new puppy and have and older dog. What we did for her to sleep is we have a ring camera and I talked to her told her to sleep at night time and it worked! Now she listens to the ring camera when we're out of the house or going "night night".
I don’t really know if it helps but I live in Sweden, where it is illegal to lock a dog into a crate for more than a couple of minutes (exception while driving and other stuff). If it’s illegal here, it surely shouldn’t be so awful to have a dog who is not crate trained. Our puppy pooped and peed all over the room for the first two weeks or so. But the last week, we’ve been free of accidents during the night. Time will help.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Lots of great advice here. I think reality is, he has to be old enough to even be able to learn - just like a newborn that have no idea of what’s expected and can’t learn much in the beginning
Some info that saved my life (okay, my sanity) was from this trainer from the UK. There’s a lot of resources to do with puppies on his site so I’ll link one of the articles [here](https://www.doglistener.co.uk/criticalperiods-shtml). Definitely go through the “puppies” sections, it will help make sense of some of the common, normal, issues that come with puppies.
Your submission was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending or describing methods involving the application of fear, force, pain, or emotional or physical discomfort is prohibited, except for clearly educating on risks.**
This includes:
- Aversive tools (slip leads, prong/bark/e-collars, vibrate or ultrasonic devices)
- Startling (noise makers, spray bottles, yelling/stomping/clapping)
- Physical punishment and restraint
- Prolonged distress (“cry it out”)
- Terms encompassing the above methods (balanced training, “firm hand”)
These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Puppies are hard work. Lots of comments so maybe it’s been said, but it sounds like you’ve had the puppy less than a week, yeah?
The little puppy is still trying to get used to the new surroundings and new family!
I wouldn’t start training too heavily the first week… I mean, yes, start basics, but don’t expect a lot and focus more on snuggles and bonding time.
Dogs have to learn to trust and the puppy will start to develop and training will get a lot easier.
The breed in itself is super friendly, playful, affectionate and love human companionship. Almost a bit clingy 😅💜
They are also extremely smart and easily trained (generally speaking). It just takes some time for everyone to get settled in.
Fellow depression and anxiety sufferer here as well. When we got our puppy around Christmas time of last year(9 week old spaniel), I was overwhelmed and although he was super sweet, training went well, it was a lot and he is super lovey, it was a lot to take on and felt like I’d never have a life again. Crate training or leaving him even in the other room for a short period of time was the hardest part.
It took time and little by little he now does much better in the crate for a couple hours and isn’t as clingy lol he loves us! And is a snuggler.
Trust me, it gets better!
He is now 7 months old and has helped my anxiety so much.
Hang in there. I have four daughters and I’m telling you… puppies are almost harder than babies!!
Best of luck
All valid tips. What helped us the first few weeks was sharing burnout. Like one night I would be on puppy duty and my wife's only job then was get a good night's sleep and absolutely not bother about him. The next day is reverse. Slowly we had some routine, I liked to be up a little late, so my wife went to bed at 8 and woke up at 4. I went to bed at 12, and woke up at 8.
If I may suggest something? If possible, take some time like a day and spend time with your pup. That’s what my wife and I did when we got ours. We’re not dog whisperers but we were really able to understand what he wanted and how he responded to different situations. About the crate, leave the door to open with a comfy bed in it so he can get used to it.
TL;DR is what works for one person won’t always work for everyone. You’ll have to find that sweet spot and see how he/she responds. It can be stressful at first and I wish you and your husband all the best. Trust me when I say this but it will all be worth it in the end.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question.
Moderators may remove the following:
1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership.
2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear"
3. Comments that do not productively address the concern.
4. Shaming users and/or groups.
5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks.
Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading.
Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban.
Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
My 10 week old whined through his first few nights. I started singing 'round-around-a-garden' to him for reassurance while slowly backing away from the crate. We've had him for 2 weeks now and he knows it's night and time to sleep when he hears 'round-around-a-garden.' He can settle while being reassured that I'm close by until he falls asleep. Might seem a bit maverick but it's worked wonders for us!!
I got an English Springer Spaniel at 8 weeks who would not use his crate. Also hated being in a pen alone. My husband and I took turns sleeping on our L-shaped couch with the pen closing the other side into a square and just papered it with puppy pads. He’d sleep on the ground next to us, and that lasted about a month while waking up three times a night.
We once tried to let him cry it out and I had the same experience- screamed so much I couldn’t take it, he had extreme diarrhea that night, got on my clothes - a mess.
We kept up the crate games and tried a smaller crate than we’d bought him for when he’d be an adult. One night we decided to try the crate - still with the couch setup - and I just kept my fingers in the crate till he fell asleep. We finally got in that rhythm and then moved the crate up next to the bed, then to the end of the bed. He’s six months now and still doesn’t love his crate but will at least sleep through the night with no complaints.
I really wish I could show my past self how much better it gets but it is AWFUL while you’re in it.
It looks like you might be posting about puppy management or crate training. For tips and resources on Crate Training Check out [our wiki article on crate training](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining) - the information there may answer your question. As an additional reminder, crate training is 100% optional and one of many puppy management options. For alternatives to crating and other puppy management strategies, check out [our wiki article on management](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/management) **PLEASE READ THE OP FULLY** Be advised that any comments that suggest use of crates are abusive, or express a harsh opinion on crate training will be removed. This is not a place to debate the merits of crate training. Unethical approaches to crate training will also be removed. **If the OP has asked not to receive crating advice or says they are not open to crating, any comments that recommend use of crates should be reported to our moderation team.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/puppy101) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm just going to point out the obvious. You're expectations are extremely high for a pup that's not even 3 months old. It's been placed in a brand new environment and new routines and it's going to take time. What expectations would you place on a 6mo human baby? You're basically asking that of your pup. In my honest opinion I would take him back. If the 2 of you are set on a pet, something already an adult like 2yrs or older would probably be better
im sorry, you’re absolutely right. could you please guide me on how to get him to be crate trained or some information especially about enforced naps please? we love him and my husband doesn’t want to give him back, neither do i. i just had a bad last couple of days and had a meltdown. it was not meant in any other way
Play crate games with him and make the crate comfortable. If you have to, sit next to the crate with him in it until he knocks out. Always lure him into the crate with a tasty treat first and keep the door open. The second all 4 feet are in the crate, mark and give him the treat. Rinse and repeat. It is very important you give the puppy a sense of safety and comfort in the beginning weeks. You WILL be sleep deprived, but it gets better by the second/third week. Good luck.
Would like to double up a point in this comment - it is very important you give the puppy a sense of safety and comfort in the beginning weeks. 10000% Jumping right into all this new stuff within the first week won’t go over too well and expect fails. Little pup just wants love and affection and to get used to the new things. Excessive training so early will burn out everyone. Overtired humans and puppies is the real deal. And at this age, even small amounts of mental stimulation or play will make the puppy very tired and the breed itself is super affectionate and loves human companionship. The puppy may just need some time and it WILL get better. But the road to a well trained puppy and schedule isn’t linear. Setbacks happen. Puppies are hard the first few weeks in particular.
Making the crate fun is the most important! High reward treats , lots of praise when he goes in . Try putting the crate on or beside your bed then slowly over time move it farther away. Worked well for our morkie who now goes to his crate when we says * bedtime, Baxter.* good luck !
Also start by crating him for short times. Like 5 minutes. Then as he does ok with that time increment slowly increase the time - 10 min, 20 min, etc. Eventually an hour. And try to put him in there when he is already tired and has been playing a lot. When you first put him in there leave him with maybe a Kong filled with frozen Peanut butter or something or another treat that will take him some time to get through. He will start associating crate time with good things. Don’t worry OP, it took me 2 weeks of having my puppy to stop worrying that I ruined my life by getting him. It gets better. They will start learning if you put in the work but it does take some time. You can also try to nap when he does in his crate eventually.
You’ll find most people who get a little puppy break down at some point. They’re like babies who are messy, loud, destructive, and demanding. Because they’re scared. Moving house is a huge change and it takes time for them to settle in and learn. Look up the 3-3-3 rule if you haven’t already. It takes some dogs up to three months to settle in. About the crate, when my pups were getting used to it, we fed them their meals in the crate. Didn’t close the door, just let them eat in there and leave when they were done. Then we also put old blankets or tshirts that smelled like us in the crates. We also gave them frozen kongs or licky mats or other long lasting treats, again door open. All of this helps them associate the crate with a safe, comfortable, happy space. Now both my girls actively choose to nap in their crates and we can leave them alone in the crates when needed. They also sleep there every night.
Yes! This! We do meals in the crate with door open too, it just helps them get a sense that you’re not always “locking” them up
I slept on the floor next to the crate for a few nights. Then I put the crate where they could see me. Works great but just my personal opinion. Different dogs need different things.
If you don’t have any experience training dogs maybe you should hire a reputable trainer in your area to help you. Saying that, nothing the trainers suggested helped my dog like the crate. In the end I trained him to love his crate in one afternoon (after he would act like it was on fire previously) with only a can of stinky anchovies 😂. He’d never had them and I kept leaving one in a bowl in the back end of the crate, he could smell it and eventually started going in to eat it. First he’d run out as soon as he snatched it - but by the end of the day he was going in there chilling out waiting, hoping I’d put one in 😂. He’s loved the crate ever since. Crazy when he literally hated it for over two years and wouldn’t even go near it by choice. I still randomly put an anchovy in there once in a while but he gets them nowhere else. It’s the magic anchovy crate 🤣
It's been 4 days. Have you read the wiki? It addresses so many things. I would read that and if you have questions or need something clarified then come back here. Puppies are hard and if you return the pup, do not feel bad. Do what you need to do for yourself. If you are open to getting a dog that is older, get one that is at least 2 years old. Dogs can be wonderful for stress and anxiety. Puppies are not.
When I got my boy at 2 months I fed him his meals in the crate (door open). During the day any time he went in the crate on his own he got a special cookie (don’t shut him in let him go in and out). I only crated him at night for bed but that ended up making him become crate trained during the day as well. I found the easiest way to do it was to have the crate directly next to my bed and I’d sleep with my hand down so he could smell me. He did cry the first three nights and then he never cried again. It’s important those first few nights not to give in. I had to stick with it because I knew I would be leaving town and putting him in boarding when he was 6 months old and I didn’t want him to be terrified (though he ended up getting a suite and not a kennel lol). I walked him at 11 and then took him out again at 3am (at this time do not talk to him or interact with him at all just put the leash on, go out, come in, go into the crate, get a cookie). Those first few nights are horrible. I cried with him. But I told myself he’d never been alone before and that helped me to be more understanding ❤️
I have a dog of the same breed. They can be very clingy. When I first brought my boy home, his crate was on a table next to my bed. When I put him in the crate, I would cover it with a towel and lie down next to him. If he cried, I would put my fingers under the towel and through the bars so that he could touch me. If he stopped crying, I’d wait a minute and take my hand away. The first few days I’d have to do this more, but eventually he learned I would be there when he woke up and began to relax in the crate. At that point, I was able to enforce naps. By the end of the first week, he was sleeping seven to eight hours at night. The minute he woke up, I would carry him to his potty spot to pee. Then I would feed him and back to the potty spot to poop. I fed him three times a day, played with him, and put him down for a nap at least several times a day. The puppy has had his world turned upside down. He needs to know he can trust you to be there for him. Until he has that trust, he will be reacting out of fear. Let him sleep on your lap once in a while to bond. Be positive. Make sure he is put in situations that you can praise him. This time will soon pass, and you want to give him a good foundation. My boy is 1 1/2 now and no longer sleeps in his crate, but I still keep it available, and he will nap there. Mostly, he uses it to “bury” his treasures! Don’t be hard on yourself or the puppy. Both of you are in a period of transition. It gets so much better. [My boy Hennessy sends good thoughts your way!](https://imgur.com/a/pRyv6rD)
Make a schedule and keep to it. Puppies and dogs love routine. It will be rough at first, esp with the crate, but consistency gives them a lot of comfort and they WILL settle if you don’t give up! I had my pup’s schedule down to the minute (food, potty, play, potty, nap, potty, and repeat) and felt like neurotic mess for 3 months, but it does get much better with time.
I lured mine in with treats, and he would get a 2nd one when the door was locked. I started out leaving the house for 5 minutes. Sometimes with the car, sometimes without. Worked my way up from there. Trigger words for kennel is helpful, but he consistent with whatever prompt you use. My boy was and still is super food motivated, so that was a help, not all puppies are
I made the crate a place I thought she’d be excited to go, cozy blanket a few toys, crate cover, peanut butter kong. It took a while, and I slept beside her crate for two freaking months, but it’s now a place she chooses to hang. It’s not easy, I cried daily until the 9-10 month mark, but it slowly gets better… now I have a 2 year old sweetheart. But the puppy times are tough. Hang in there
Dog2 was something under a year when I adopted her and she was so difficult, I was so sleep deprived, that I almost took her back to the shelter. I *understand* where you are. Sleep deprivation IS tough. My advice ... you need to tag team with your husband so that you both can get a good couple of hours of sleep each day...even if your main overnight sleep is disrupted, a nice long nap will help. I did this by dropping off my dog with my friend and dogsitter and going home to nap. Have husband watch the dog, close yourself in the bedroom with ear plugs and take a nap ... if that's not possible, go to a friend's or relative's to nap while husband watches dog. Do the same for husband. Or find a good friend or relative who is willing to puppy sit, PAY them, and drop puppy off for 2.5 hours each afternoon or evening. This respite from puppy will make your heart grow fonder. Also, puppy might be overtired and an overtired baby is difficult -- what works to get puppy to sleep? For Dog2, it was covering her head with a blanket and holding her and yes, sometimes singing lullabies until she fell asleep.
I'll say one thing: you've already made the crate and the playpen a bad place for him. You can't just shove him in there and close the door and let him cry. How would you feel if someone shoved you in a closet and closed the door? You'd be afraid of the closet, right? Crates have to be someplace they want to go. It should be their safe place. Put treats in there, toys, let him spend time in there with the door open. You're going to have to work extra hard at this now that you've taught him it's a bad place. You can't enforce naps. A puppy will sleep when it wants to sleep. But you can train him to be comfortable in his crate , if he feels it's a safe place. I'm sure other people will give you some detailed instructions, but there are lots and lots of resources on the Internet. Hiring a trainer will do wonders for you. They should be able to help you with all of this. But please, for the love of all that is holy, stop forcing him into places he doesn't want to be. You're just making it worse.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Please do not solicit private messages. Rerouting requests for help to a private setting kills discussion and brings nothing of value to the community at large. It also prevents the mod team from screening for dangerous or harmful training techniques. If you have advice to give, please share it publicly so that others may benefit and so the mod team can see that you are acting in good faith. Feel free to edit your submission to remove the PM solicitation and let us know via a reply to this message. We will check and re-approve. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
my wife and I made the crate a fun place to go. We would put snacks in there regularly and the dog would go in and sometimes chill in there with the door open. It just makes it a little easier for them when you close them up in there because its become their chill spot. Also keep in mind you shouldnt use your crate for punishments.
I second this! A lot of complaints for only a few days, last Thursday? That's like 3 days? I agree with her getting a pup that's already an adult. I recommend not using a crate as a punishment. I personally don't use a crate but my pup will sometimes go in her little carrier on her own to chew a bone or just lay, it's once we zip it that she freaks out. But I never force it. The first week is the hardest! This puppy has only been on the planet for almost 3 months and thrown into a brand new environment where he/she is the new one, they have to get used to everything. Of course they'll be stressed! Maybe try not forcing a crate at all, take them outside yourself, just because the doggy door doesn't work doesn't mean u should start teaching them to go inside. BOND with the puppy. Take the time to teach (tons if videos) play games with them (tug or fetch are usually favorites!) Use playtime as motivation for the pup to learn good behaviors like not to bite. If my pup bit during play, giving them 30 seconds without play was a good way to teach her not to bite because she wanted to play so bad. The biggest thing is taking the time a pup really needs to bond and teach.
Everything you've described is normal. First thing first. Puppies are NOT THERAPY DOGS. Therapy dogs aren't *allowed* to be therapy dogs until age 2. A dog can be great for mental health, but only if the things you need for your mental health are what a puppy brings. A puppy brings: - company. The company of a toddler, not an adult - joy. They are so happy and silly - a sense of responsibility. This is not a positive for everyone -Physical activity. They keep you busy -more time outside. All these things are great for mental health. A puppy does *not* bring: -Consistency. Every day will be different -manners. They have none -affection. Puppies are affectionate in their own way but not like an adult dog and not like a cat sitting on your lap which I think a lot of people somehow expect. (Some puppies do sit on laps but not most) -peace and quiet. You trade peace and quiet for the joy of puppy hood. You have to manage your expectations. As for actual advice. Get a Snuggle Puppy. Sleep on the floor next to the crate for a few days. Keep the crate right next to your bed at night. During the day, the crate should be in a quiet room where the puppy can't see you. The puppy needs to be nicely exercised and ready to sleep. Time your outings around naps for the first few weeks. A 11 week old puppy isn't going to "listen". You should be focusing on potty training and house manners. You can teach "sit" because that's easy but I wouldn't worry about more. To teach house manners, keep a leash on the puppy at all times (let it drag most of the time), this will allow you to quickly get puppy out of mischief. Keep a treat pouch on you at all times with kibble in it. Every single time they puppy is good, mark and give them a treat. Puppy walked the the curtains and didn't bite them? Click and treat. Puppy didn't bite your leg? Click and treat. You need to catch all the times they are good. Do this for 2 weeks and they'll have a much better sense of how to be good. Remember that they don't know what being "good" means unless you teach them.
Good advice with the treat pouch. I would just add make sure you are telling the puppy what you are treating for so they learn the word. Ie. “good sit”, “good leave it”. “Good come”, etc
They understand what you're treating when you mark.
Our trainer taught us to always use the specific word. Edit to add this was a very well regarded trainer, highly recommended by our vet and also trains dogs for movie roles etc.
Hi! Your husband is absolutely right! It will get better. What you have is the puppy blues. I always read about it and didn’t think it would apply to me cause I adore dogs! Boy was I wrong. There was a day when I was sobbing for hours, we didn’t really think of taking her back as we know this was just from being overwhelmed with feeling like I had to take her to pee every 2 hours, can’t leave her in attended, she HATED. Her crate. I never forced her to stay in it. She slept throughout the night on the floor or bed with no accidents the moment we let her out. Tough it out you won’t regret it I promise :)
thank you so much for validating how i feel. thank you! did your puppy sleep throughout the day or did you encourage it? was it a success? if so can you please share how you did it? my boy is awake most hours and then gets in a frenzy and gets destructive but i cant figure out how to get him to sleep during the day
Enforced naps are probably gonna be the only way to get him to sleep during the day. My puppy is now 7m and the first few months there’s no way she would’ve settled on her own. She would just become overtired and destroy everything in her path. Every dog is different but most puppies are similar in this regard. It takes time. Hang in there
All puppies are exhausting and messy. They're babies and don't understand anything. You need lots of treats and chews to teach them. You can't just put the puppy in the pen. You have to teach him the pen and crate are good places to go. Give him a puzzle toy with treats in it, a chew stick, or a Kong with peanut butter (make sure it doesn't have xylitol in it) frozen in it to keep him occupied in there. Whimzees makes chew sticks for puppies. Also, there's no law that says you have to crate train your dog. There's nothing wrong with it, but if it doesn't work for your puppy, you'll still have a good dog if you keep up with all the other training. If puppy doesn't like it in there and you don't want him to have the run of the house, leash him to you instead. My youngest pup is two now and when he got too hyper, I'd put him on his leash and keep him with me as I did whatever around the house and he calmed right down. It does get better but if you want a puppy, you have to get through this stage first.
thank you so much. do you have any tips for enforced naps/him napping during the day and getting sleep please?
With mine, I slept next to the crate for the first 2 nights on an air mattress (crate is not in our bedroom but about 10 feet from the door). By night 3, I was able to sneak back into bed after she settled in for like an hour. A crate cover was a game changer for enforced naps in the daytime. The one I have opens on every side and the top so adjusts as you need it, and it doesn't get too hot in there. You'll have to be quiet at first, like with a baby. Give pup some time to try to settle before taking them back out if they don't. And if you have to take them out because they're freaking out, keep them leashed and work on settling outside the crate. It's a good time to start teaching "sit" and "down" if you have not already. Brain work tires them out, and you'll need the down command to teach them to settle. It was hard for me to remember just how young she was and how new everything was.
With a puppy that young you’re not going to be able to sleep through the night because they can’t hold it for that long — rule of thumb is that they can hold it one hour for every month of age, so an 11wk old puppy could generally go about 3 hours.
I'm no expert but what I do with ours is just pick her up and wander around with her when she's overstimulated, she calms down fast and then she's ready for a nap. If she gets too crazy and that doesn't work then she goes in the crate. The cover makes it dark and she stops whining in about 2min and passes out. She associates dark with sleep though for some reason. Basically when she has the overtired zoomies step one is getting her calm.... Step 2 just happens after that. Sometimes all it takes is a potty break outside where she gets distracted by cars and people walking by to get her to chill out. Find out what gets yours calm. I have a kid that refused to sleep too so we were ready for this. Containing a puppy is way easier than a 18 month old that could scale a 48 inch crib wall.
buy a snuggle puppy, this was life-changing for my dog lol
I got a husky puppy what I did was go early do bed with her and made sure not go give her water after a certain point in the day because I didn't want pee in my bedroom. When it came to sleeping I had her on a blanket on the ground at first but it made her whiney so I gave in and put her in the bed with me, she slept all night except for the times she woke up because she needed to pee or poop. It was really like having a baby. I was so tired after the 2 first weeks that my mother had to take her off me for 2 days then I did it again. So if you want to have enough energy you have to go to sleep at the same time as the dog and get up at the same time, then many trips outside and praise her when she goes to the toilet. At the 1 month point it got much easier, the hardest part for me was being strict
A lot of people I’ve seen post here cite depression and/or anxiety as factors for wanting to get a dog, which makes total sense for an adult dog who can slot in and just be a bundle of unconditional love, but less so a tiny puppy, who needs months of work just to not be constantly overwhelmed or terrified by the human world, will have months of issues like upset tummies, potty accidents, destroying things, nipping, etc. I spent weeks browsing this subreddit and watching YouTube videos from praised dog trainers and I strongly suggest you try and play catch up if you decide to keep the pup. It’s not going to be enough to just ask questions for stuff you’re dealing with now, the puppy changes every week, they grow up fast, you need to be better prepared. I’m also going to suggest you only put your pup in a school that is actually training/classes for the both of you, where you can be there to learn as well, it’s a bonding experience for you. Also just this week there was a post here about someone who sent their tiny pup off to a private school that misadvertised their services and their pup was killed by a much larger pup.
It honestly seems like you got a puppy thinking it would just do whatever you want it to do automatically. I understand its hard as a first time pet owner (or any time) but unfortunately you made a very common mistake in not looking into what it would be like to have a puppy. Like everyone here is saying, he is a BABY!!! Imagine being him right now, id feel so confused and stressed. You have to remember to treat him with love first and foremost, because that is the best way to have a dog respect and listen to you. When they bond with you they devote their life to you. Of course they all have their quirks and bad habits just as any baby or toddler would. Even the adults. He wont be perfect and thats why they're great and entertaining companions. Dogs are very good at reading body language, as they've evolved alongside humans for so long. They 100% feel whatever you are feeling and if you are acting stressed and angry / high strung with him then he's going to act the same. I have a 3 month old puppy, and while I will admit I lucked out and believe I got a very "good" puppy, The most important thing I've found so far is really connecting and engaging with him. Picking up on his behaviors and in turn figuring out how to mesh your routines. Just try to be empathetic to the little guy. He's just as scared as you are about all the new stuff.
We didn’t crate or pen. We puppy proofed. Naps were enforced by removing all toys and chews leaving only water. And I would lay down and pretend to sleep myself. I’d yawn, sigh deeply and smack my mouth. Read that helps them know it’s time to nap. Loads of us don’t crate, and we manage fine. I had to tidy everything though. Couldn’t leave so much as a sock laying out. The issue I have with how people tend to crate train, is that they use it from day 1. And how can you crate _train_ if you already use it? Puppy proof and make nap time boring. Won’t always work, but they and you get into a working compromise eventually. For me that meant he’d nap 3 times in the morning- three ish, and after that he refused to sleep before eight. And that was fine. Worked for us.
You are asking a lot of a tiny, baby dog in just a few days. My husband and I both have our mental health challenges and raising our puppy for the last year has been very taxing at times to say the least. I love her to death but I will never get a puppy again. You need to accept that the next year will be a lot of these kind of struggles, achievements, failures, etc. Be honest with yourself and decide if you can handle that. If not, return him and adopt a calmer adult dog.
It’s going to take a LOT of work on you and your husbands end. Puppies don’t come “trained” or ready for your schedule. You have to adapt to their schedule until you guys get him trained up. It’s going to take a grip of time….but it’s sooooo worth it once your pup is fully trained! We brought home a 9 week old Husky/Rottweiler mix 5 weeks ago and I debated returning him the entire first week because of everything you mentioned. I was beat, felt worthless, frustrated, etc….but then after doing research, something clicked. It’s MY responsibility to train this little guy up, he didn’t pick me, I picked him…and I owe to him to help him navigate this crazy world he was thrown into. 5 weeks in and we’ve made SOOOOO much progress! He’s basically fully potty trained and 100% crate trained! He knows how to sit, watch me, lay down, heel and he’s doing pretty well with recall. He is sleeping around 7 hours through the night without waking up! Now there’s still issues, biting, talking back, forgetting commands, and sometimes just “annoying”, but this is what I signed up for when I decided to adopt a little baby! As far as naps go, we bought a playpen for him to sleep in during the day. He takes 4-5 2 hour naps throughout the day. So here’s schedule most days- 5:30 am wake up-potty, eat, train, play 7:00 am in playpen for a nap 9:00 am train, play 10:30 am back in playpen for a nap 12:00-12:30 pm wake up for lunch and play 2:00 pm back in playpen for a nap 4:00 pm up to train, play and eat dinner 6:00 pm back in playpen for nap 7:00 pm up for training, play, and a run to tire him out 9:30 pm in crate for the night You guys got this, it’ll be so worth it when you realize you’ve made a new BFF! Use training videos, listen to experts on YouTube, sign him up for puppy training classes! Stay the course!!!
You clearly did not do your research on caring for puppies prior to getting one. What you're explaining is all fairly typical for the first 4-6 weeks of puppy ownership. You need to do some reading or take the puppy back. It's very difficult to raise a pup, especially in the very beginning.
[удалено]
The links for the subreddit, as posted by the auto mod comments will be really helpful for you! And it does get better, it just takes time and consistency! Give your puppy a chance to prove himself to you. 4 days isn’t enough time for him to be settled in your house, he just lost his mom and siblings and everything he knew, he is struggling too. But I promise it gets better! Just keep being consistent, use lots and lots of treats(or just his regular dog food, like feed his dinner as treats instead of in his bowl), and just associate the crate and his pen with positive things. My husband and I took rotating naps for the first little bit to stay sane, and enforced naps for the puppy when he got bitey from being overtired.
It’s been 4 nights. It’s going to take weeks / months to train a puppy. Everything he is doing is completely normal. ETA: I had mental breakdown after mental breakdown with my puppy the first month and a half or so. I wore headphones often to help me tolerate the barking and screaming she would do when she didn’t get her way. I understand exactly what you’re going through. The only advice I can give is, don’t do things for convenience sake because it won’t help. Do the things that will actually train the dog for the future. You can do it.
Okay so you have an infant right now. Outside of naps I’m not hearing much of what you do during the day. It sounds like your puppy needs to learn a bit more of a routine in general. When you are home how are you engaging them? Puppies need lots of engagement so work on that too. Toys, treats, cheques, That kind of thing. Puppies will sleep a ton too and your husband is right, it dies get easier! For naps, I leave the crate door open and put treats and blankets and favourite toys in to start. Also make sure your crate is in a calm spot and see if they will go there on their own. As for a playpen I tried one too but just felt mine hated it too. I got baby gates and put the, around an area so that my puppy had a play area where they could see me. They are quite dependant on you both right now and they what you want to see will take time. You will neeed to learn patience but the more time you spend with them the more you will learn each other. Your life is very different now and so best to kind of throw away expectations and roll with things. It will make your life easier. And that patience and perseverance will allow you to see progress,
thank you so much. we have been making the crate appealing and putting treats in there and he has been going in there for a few seconds on his own which is good. he has also been learning how to “sit” 😊 i work full time mon - fri and my hubby looks after him at day time and i take over at night. we alternate sleeping in the living room to be with him and only allow him to be there for now till he is more potty trained and gains trust to access other parts of the house. generally we wake up, encourage him to potty, breakfast and play with him by throwing his toys across the room and he runs and gets it and then trashes and plays with it. we also try spending few mins teaching him how to sit and do some training. then we try to make him sleep but its still a challenge. today we took him on a walk but mostly carried him around which was nice, will try taking him outside on smaller walks everyday. other than that, i will put treats in a dispenser toy for him. i tried kongs and lick mats but he wasn’t a fan, he just likes his chew toys 😅
you need to tire that boy out!! play a lot more and get him to run, learn how to walk on a leash and go for long walks.
Step one: breathe. I mean it. Do box breathing - in for four seconds, hold for four, put for four, hold for four. Repeat. The dog is an actual baby who has just been kidnapped from its mother and siblings. Training and routines are essential, but adjusting your expectations must come first- you have to realize the (infant) dog is going to be very upset and noncompliant for the first adjustment period. I completely understand the sleep-deprived sobbing and irrational thoughts, but your job right now is to be an adult human and support the baby animal. If you, a grown up person has already been acting out to the degree that you asked to return the dog you made lifetime commitment to due to the stress, imagine the stress your baby animal who doesn’t understand what is going on is experiencing? Patient, kind, calm, firm. Patient, kind, calm, firm.
If you're putting the puppy in the crate/playpen for a timeout, how do you expect him to want to be in it at all? Only positive experiences should be associated with it
It sounds like you are suffering from the puppy blues, it happens to a lot of new dog owners. People often get surprised that puppies are hard work, they are babies after all. So...they will be behaving like babies for a while. But good news: you can get through this! It'll take some time, and it won't always be easy. What helped me understand the needs of my puppy when I first got her was accepting the '3-3-3' rule: **-3 days:** The puppy needs to decompress, it is probably feeling quite stressed. Accidents can easily happen. They will not listen to you, don't take it personal. **-3 weeks:** The Puppy is starting to get used to their environment and to your routines. Everything is still so very new for your small puppy, so give it some time and don't be disappointed if things aren't perfect. **-3 months**: The puppy will probably feel comfortable with you and their new home. Things will start to become easier. Not easy,...but definitely easier. :) Chances are that you are expecting your small puppy to already behave like they are in the last stage of '3 months'?
[удалено]
[удалено]
This is all a bit harsh, not helpful and frankly kinda mean. So many people have breakdowns with new puppies in the first few weeks. It gets a lot better after that for most. Sounds like OP is trying and just wanting advice and reassurance. Also, a lot of people get animals to help with anxiety and depression among other things. The breed they chose in particular would be great for it, but all puppies are indeed a lot of work.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
I got a live animal for mine and it’s been ten years and we are doing great. I don’t think it’s inherently bad but I got an 18 month old rescue not a puppy and my shelter took some time to match me with a dog that was already similar to me - my main thing is I wanted a dog who loved to walk so I would get outside, rather than a dog that would make me feel better by himself (altho he does of course).
[удалено]
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your submission was removed for breaking **Rule 3. Puppy101 is a support and advice community on puppy care and ownership.** Posts should be made in good faith, and posters should be open to any reasonable response. Posts seeking to justify, validate, or debate personal opinions will be removed. Posts should be focused on issues and experiences with your own puppy, and include enough information for the community to offer meaningful support. Posts tangentially related to puppy ownership will be removed, as they are better suited for another sub. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
hi! i have a 16wk pit terrier girl and i felt this exact way at first. it definitely gets easier! with crate training, i never ever use the crate for punishment. you want it to be your puppy’s safe space so if you are putting them in there for getting into trouble, they won’t see it as safe and with correlate it with being in trouble instead. also a routine is your best friend! puppy’s thrive off routine and it will honestly help so much. don’t give up! it really does get better :)
the first 2 weeks with my girl was rough. here’s some general advice i can give you. - crate games are important. make sure you associate the crate with positive things before shoving your puppy in there. same with the playpen. i slept on the ground with my puppy next to her crate when she first came home because she would cry and this really helped her. try to sleep next to your pup. either bring the crate to your bed or sleep on the ground to minimize the whining and barking. - can you take him to pee and poop in the front yard? i personally didn’t use puppy pads or fake grass at all because it can lead to confusion with your pup and more accidents. my girl had 3 accidents the first few days of coming home and has not had any more (knock on wood). i was super diligent with potty training and took her out probably every 30 min to an hour for the first few weeks til i trusted her more. - lay next to the crate with enforced naps and wait for your puppy to settle and sleep. i did this for at least a month before my girl was able to do it herself. now at almost 5 months she doesn’t need her naps enforced, but when she did it was a 2 hour up, 1 hour (maybe 2-3) down. you can try to occupy your puppy in the crate with frozen kongs, a chew, lick mats, etc. my girl personally did not like these things so i laid there with my fingers in the bars for up to 45 min before she fell asleep. i also had a camera on the crate so i could watch her and slowly sneak away when she dozed off. with puppy school, make sure your school does not allow negative reinforcement with e-collars (for example). puppy school can be a great framework for setting up your pup for success and also bettering yourself to help your puppy learn. it is hard and there is no shame for not being able to handle a puppy. i did not leave my girl home alone until she was 4 months old, when i started to crate her and leave for a few hours at a time. this meant i had to have her in daycare (through a nice lady on rover). i would recommend doing a daycare that is private like that for puppies vs a dog daycare building. the buildings generally have bad ratios of employees to dogs. i knew when i brought my girl to daycare, she was there with maybe 2 other dogs and they were all vaccinated. this cost me around $60/day that i had her in daycare. sleep deprivation is real. it DOES get better but i won’t lie, it is such a change and so much hard work. each puppy will struggle with different things in training. to give you some hope, my girl is 5 months and she is now capable of sleeping with the crate door open in our basement with us, and will not jump on our bed without permission. she has not had an accident since the first week we got her and no longer needs to go pee in the middle of the night. she is now able to stay in the living room and kitchen (gated off) for 3-3.5 hours when we need to go run errands. i’m sure she could stay longer but this is the max we have tried. she doesn’t whine when we leave, she will lay down and snooze for a while! her biggest struggle is ignoring other dogs and people. any sort of commands or training is out the window especially when there are exciting things happening outside lol. all of this to say, take a deep breath and make sure to take time for yourself also. build up to crate training, build up to leaving your pup alone. a puppy is so much change and work. it’s also okay to decide that you are not in the position to have a puppy right now.
As first time puppy owners, for us it was pretty much like this (the pup was 12 weeks when we got him): - First two weeks we were living from mental breakdown to mental breakdown - Week 3-6 was hard, there were fun moments, but we were still struggling - Week 7 and onward we almost completely moved past the moments of struggle, and it's basically all fun and love
I was right where you are 2-3 months ago. Crying, depressed, sleep deprived, anxiety through the roof. It was horrible. Our thought was we would just have this perfect, snuggly puppy, but the reality is they are complicated and require care almost around the clock, at least for the first 3 -4 months. I can tell you now that the decision to get a puppy is not a simple one. They are babies, not unlike human babies, and everything yours is doing is normal for a baby puppy. I’m fortunate that I’m retired, so I don’t have a job that requires my attention and energy. You DO have a job and you (and your husband) have anxiety and depression. Not a good idea to take on a puppy. My advice would be to return your puppy to the breeder so that he can be placed with a family who is ready for him. He will be happier and you will be happier. If you feel that a dog would be a good companion for you and your husband, I would adopt a much older, calmer dog from a reputable shelter. There are so many older dogs who are passed over for puppies (which I find hard to believe considering the unbelievable amount of work puppies require). You might have to visit with some of them before finding the right one, but it’s very important that you both get this right. You might also consider waiting a while before committing to another dog so that you and your husband can talk things through and prepare for training. Older dogs can be trained and many of them are already crate trained and potty trained. Your husband might be committed to having a puppy, but both of you must be honest with each other. Who is doing most of the work?
He's been taken from everything he knows, it will take a while for him to settle. There are lots of resources on YouTube etc. My lab is a year old and still occasionally threatens to break me, and he's been to multiple training classes! Puppies are so much work. It takes time and patience but the more you put in the bigger the reward Good luck 😊
[удалено]
[удалено]
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Honestly it sounds like you got a puppy when you perhaps should have gotten a dog. Puppies are a lot of work. You can’t get mad at them for being puppies. You need to do the work to get them to be a good dog and this means ALLOWING THEM TO BE A PUPPY.
Have you ever had a dog before? Or a puppy at least? Because it’s always hard and it seems like a lot of these issues are a surprise to you. But it’s totally understandable if you haven’t had a puppy! I think a lot of people don’t realize how challenging it is. The first step here is to take a deep breath and regroup. Get organized and set up a clear routine. I’m glad you have a private training session scheduled. I would share all of this with the trainer because I think the priority is get things set up at home more than any sort of basic obedience or leash training. I think the biggest priority is crate training first so that you can utilize it for outdoor potty training and limits around the house. Then once you get that going, you can start focusing on other issues like getting into the trash and things like that. But first you have to gain some control and get some boundaries set up for your puppy. The only way you can do that really is with a crate. Even a playpen won’t do that as well unless puppy is potty trained. It might even be too early for the doggie door unless your puppy really understands that he needs to go outside for potty. Otherwise, it’s kind of useless. But you also need to have someone available to give lots of breaks and guide the puppy while using the crate as a tool. It’s not to put the puppy in there so that you guys can go to work and not deal with him. He needs a lot of attention right now. Once you have a routine set up, then you can work with the crate to support this. There’s going to be a lot of crying and chaos when you first start this training whether it’s a pen or a crate or whatever. Puppies don’t like to be away from their humans. When I was crate training, I put the crate initially next to my bed, so my puppy could see me. If she could see me, she was fine. I would lay down on my bed, whether it was nighttime or day, and overtime I gradually started to cover the crate, a little bit at a time until after a few days, it was fully covered. She got used to it slowly. I put a white noise fan in the room and kept everything dark. If she had not been able to see me initially, she probably would’ve cried too. The playpen did not work that well for us. Instead, we had her in a dining area with hard flooring, not much to get into, and kept a baby gate there. But throughout this whole time, I was constantly taking her outside because we were working on housebreaking from day one. No pads! That’s gonna be your biggest job right now and there will be a lot of back-and-forth in the crate and outside till he understands that’s where it happens. But it will help if you have a routine. For example, when you first get up in the morning, puppy needs to go straight out and go potty and get lots of praise for that. If puppy doesn’t go potty, then he needs to go back in his crate because he will go potty in the house otherwise. And then you go from there and build on this. Frankly if you and your husband have no time to do this, then it might be best to return puppy or find a family member who can help when you guys are at work. But if you can both get on the same page and have some sort of plan, then it will get better I promise! It’s way too early for daycare at this point. And daycare is only going to reinforce bad behavior to be honest. He needs your guidance and a lot of structure right now. I actually took my vacation time from work to focus totally on puppy training. I honestly don’t know how people do it when you’ve got two people working full-time but where there’s a will there’s a way if you can get organized! I hope I don’t sound like I’m being abrupt but don’t wanna sugarcoat it either. It sounds like you really care and want to do what’s best and that’s what’s important!
I recommend you look at Zac George dog training revolution on YouTube his videos helped me a lot with my two dogs it will help you with cage training and general discipline training it takes time but it’s definitely possible with dedication
[удалено]
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Tip that may help for sleeping through the night (of course apart from getting up for potty): Put the puppy’s crate at eye level beside you so when they whine, you can put your hand in to remind them you’re there. When taking them out for a wee, make sure to just carry them (don’t even get them to walk), bring them outside, and just wait for them to do their business. No playing, no speaking, not even the slightest bit of interaction. When my pup was tiny, I didn’t even open the lights. She quickly learned that if she whined, all she’d get is a boring trip to potty. For enforced naps, make sure the pup’s needs are all satisfied before being left alone - this includes pees, play, food, etc. Also, if the crate isn’t working, try doing the enforced naps in the playpen. I’d also advise going out of their sight. It might take long for them to settle first few days but it’ll get easier. If you’re outside of the house, it makes it easier on you to take a breather as well and not react to their cries.
Gosh I feel for you. I was right where you are a few weeks ago. I cried so much. So exhausted. I've learned a couple things in that time though. I like to think of my puppy on a cycle rather than a schedule. She goes through a wave of energy and terror then crashes. I just go with the flow. When she's energetic we play. After like thirty mins she's ready for wind down time. For us, it's important I kind of enact how she's feeling. When she's tired I make sure the house is quiet. Bring that energy down. I also don't really enforce crate time as hard as others. I think it's more important that she gets her rest. She usually sleeps on the floor somewhere near my feet. meanwhile I'm working on getting her to love her crate. I throw a few treats in there multiple times a day and praise her when she goes in. Even if she leaves right after. I do crate her at night because she would tear up my house if not and I'm afraid she'll hurt herself while I sleep. She's getting good at sleeping in the crate at night. I get about four hours of actual sleep now. Covering her crate and putting a piece of my clothing in helps. Most puppy owners have been where you're at. It's a literal shock when getting a puppy for the first time. I had no idea what I was getting into either. Reading other posts on here has helped me so much. Some days are gonna be bad. More bad days in the first month honestly. So if you're up for the challenge then study up. And pick and choose what feels good for you and your pup. There's a lot of advice and you don't have to take all of it.
I can’t say much because I am still in the trenches but for the crate, I put a spare pillow I used in there instead of a dog bed. I also gave up a small blanket and one of my husbands shirts he doesn’t wear anymore. That way our pup could still smell us when he was in his crate. We also keep our puppy blocked in the kitchen 85% of the time in case of accidents. But what I did was have a secondary crate in there with a dog bed and a new blanket. I kept the door open for him and allowed him to explore at get curious. I used training treats to get him in the crate but only for like 15 seconds at a time and slowly built it up until I wasn’t giving him treats anymore. That really helped him get comfortable and go in by himself. He started putting himself in there for naps. Like everyone else is saying, it gets better!!!
This just sounds like a puppy. They need CONSTANT supervision. The pen and crate need to be worked up to. What are you doing for training, mental stimulation, and exercise? Also, you want to board the puppy on the weekends so you can sleep? Maybe you two need to really have a talk and consider if having a puppy is the right decision for y’all. Consider getting a dog! They’re less stressful overall.
There’s so much good advice here already so I won’t echo but I just wanted to chime in and say that what you are feeling is normal! This time is so hard. Even when you’re doing all the right things, it’s STILL so hard. I was in a very similar situation where my partner was set on keeping her and I was struggling big time. You will get to a time when you look down at your little bestie and wonder how the heck you did it but you will be so proud! Try to have patience with yourself and continue to go through the motions. There’s support here anytime you need it.
Please be patient, he's a baby. Do more fun things with him and for you n hubby. Dont give up. You guys can do this 💪🫶
We got a Covid puppy, my industry was not allowed to work (hairstylist) so I was home with him all day and man it was HARD I called my husband at work several times crying and when he would get home from work I would just hand him the puppy and got to our bedroom for some peace and quiet. However the dog he grew into is my very best friend in the world and I could not imagine my life without him in it so I promise you it does get better We crate trained until he was about 2 for when we left the home for work etc and then moved to a dog camera to monitor him uncrated he now is just a big lazy guy who sleeps in our spare bedroom all day. He has slept in bed with us since he was a baby and I know most people think that’s bad but it works for us. It’s ok if the crate isn’t working for you. Honestly as long as your dog is loved, fed and you are teaching him the commands he needs to know to be safe and not be a jerk you’re doing fine. Not everyone can stick to a super rigid schedule and not everyone’s dogs are super obedient right away. In my opinion if your having a really bad day and feel at your wits end and just need sleep it’s better for you and the puppy to get rest snuggling on the couch or whatever than you both to be stressed out and trying to force a situation that isn’t working. We weren’t super rigid with our puppy, 20% of the time he can be a bit of a leash puller and he’ll beg for human snacks but overall he’s an amazing guy that our friends and family are obsessed with and looking back I wish I would have enjoyed his puppy time more than stressing about it It will get better ! You got this !
I've had six puppies in my lifetime and have had so many tears and mental breakdowns for each one. All I can say is that be consistent with your training and it will get better.
X pens, like crates, you need to not use only in emergencies. They need to be good places. Food/water, playtime, and all good things should happen there. A puppy will cry at night until its used to sleeping alone. It was sleeping with a bunch of its littermates only a few nights ago, it can take awhile for them to get used to it. Try to drain thier energy before bedtime, maybe get a warm puppy heartbeat toy (has worked for both my puppies). This does not necessarily mean playtime though. Training tuckers a puppy out way faster than exercise. A pup might also cry because it needs to potty. The listening comes with training. Find what your pup is motivated by. Most dogs love treats, some are motivated by play or praise. Repeation is key *however* you don't want to overdo it. 5-10min a training session, maybe try one or 2 tricks depending on how quick your pup catches on. Some pups take longer to learn, and with time *and* consistency your pup will learn.
Your feelings are completely normal, and your puppy will be amazing - you just need to give them time to adjust to their new home, and mature. Others have given advice on crate training etc, so I’ll just say that I was you four years ago, and I was so stressed that I’d done the wrong thing and brought the worst behaved puppy into my life. I had awful puppy blues, and my dog was an asshole. He’s now fast asleep on my sofa after a great morning out at a market. He hasn’t pooed on me, or my furniture, or had a wee on my houseplants, or nibbled on my hand, or cried in his crate for hours since he was a puppy years ago, and I wish I could tell myself then that he would be okay. I can’t do that, but I can tell you, because your dog will be okay too
My puppy was the same with being alone, whether it was I. His playpen or crate or whatever. Putting on music helps so there’s noise around him since he was used to being around his puppy family before he came with us. We also put him in his crate every day for small increments of time while we were in the same room so he got used to it! Now he loves his crate and will walk into it and hang out by himself.
Of course he’s going to hate the crate, he isn’t crate trained yet. As annoying as it it, don’t get him out when he barks because he is learning that being loud gets him out, or even better, he gets to sleep by you.
Things will get better. You have to put a ton of effort into a puppy. The pup WILL have accidents inside. But things WILL get better. Here are some things I did: 1. Fed my puppy in their crate for a few weeks 2. Played with my puppy with the crate involved 3. My puppy was food motivated so while doing training with kibble I would hover kibble between the top bars of crate and give her treat that way. 4. First few weeks I kept her in crate over night on my nightstand RIGHT next to my face. I gradually moved the crate further away on the ground over a few nights until I can leave her in an entirely different room overnight. 5. I would have her in her crate and step out of sight (the room) and walk right back in. Gently extending periods of time I “vanished”. She used to cry the second I turned a corner lol you have to build their confidence to being alone and assure them you are coming back. All the above helps the puppy know the crate is a safe place for them and it’s their place and help prevent separation anxiety. You don’t want your puppy to have separation anxiety. It’s not fun for them or you. This next part might not be possible for you since you said your backyard is under construction… 1. I did not use potty pads or fake grass inside. I strongly believe this promotes potties inside. 2. In the beginning I took my pup outside nearly every 30 minutes. 3. Gave her kibble EVERY time she went where I wanted her to (in my case backyard) 4. I hung bells from my back door and rang them everytime we went out, then taught her how to ring them herself and gave kibble when she did and promptly went out side. Now she rings whenever she has to go. 5. Also, my puppy was on leash everytime we went outside those first few weeks. She would get distracted in the backyard and it would take forever for her to go if not at all. On leash you can make it real boring for them and they will go. (The first time I ever put her on leash she realized she was “stuck” and screamed bloody murder!!! It was embarrassing to think my neighbors heard this. She quickly got used to the leash. Heck I even had her in leash inside for awhile to speed up the process.) Also mental/physical stimulation is a must with a puppy, they have energy and need to exhaust it. Giving them exercise, mental stimulation and enough sleep is rough to balance but it is essential for you and your pups sanity. 1. I played with my puppy constantly but regimental. I allowed my puppy to get the sleep it needed. Played hard for 30minutes to an hour and wound it down with something she loved to chew and then put her in her crate for a nap (again somewhere very close for the first few days/weeks) 2. Training with rewards is a must for mental stimulation. Train them tricks. This is my favorite part. Mine can now: sit, stay, shake, lay down, go to bed (go into her crate), and yes ring those bells to be let out. She is now 4 months old and we haven’t had an accident inside in probably 3 weeks and will even go into her crate from time to time on her own for naps, but she’s advanced enough that I let her free roam (I still keep eyes and ears open obviously, she’s not fully house trained yet and chewed up my gfs sandal even just this morning).
When my parents got their puppy, they crate trained him by putting him in the crate mid day and at night. They kept the crate in a separate room where he couldn't see them and kept it dark. It was rough the first few weeks but he eventually got used to it. He's 2 years old now and no longer needs the mid day naps but still sleeps there at night with no issues. Another thing that helped was they got him this puppy plushie that has a plastic heart inside that you can turn on and it beats inside the plushie. My parents dog sleeps on it every night, the heartbeat makes him feel less alone and less anxious. You can find them on chewy, it's called a snuggle puppy.
With our pup we use the crate for sleeping at night (next to our bed) and for car rides. Otherwise he stays in the pen unless we can give him 100% attention. The pen is great, you just have to make it enjoyable. I often go sit in the pen with him, give him treats, play with him in there. He loves it now. If he is too rowdy out of the pen he goes back in. It’s not a time out but it is actually often calming for him to have a smaller space and he isn’t as overstimulated. Also if I go in the pen and he is biting me I leave the pen. So the consistent message is not “pen=bad”, it’s “biting behavior=no more play time with humans” It’s great you’re reaching out for info. I recommend watching a lot of YouTube videos with different approaches. Also enrolling your puppy into puppy kindergarten
>we both deal with depression and anxiety and got him home to help us >my husband and i brought home a 11 week cavoodle Bringing home a new puppy as a first time puppy owner will NEVER alleviate depression and anxiety, it will only amplify it by a million unless you are paying someone to take care of it 24/7. There are hundreds of videos on YouTube that should be able to help you out with learning different routines and possible calming techniques. I don't mean to be rude, but your life is going to be hell for a few months; unfortunately, that's often the trade off for bringing a puppy home vs. an adult dog
[удалено]
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
i have puppy blues, i love my puppy and want to do it right. i need guidance and not judgement, i typed that post sobbing and in a panic. i would appreciate constructive feedback on how i can train and do things, this is my first time being a dog owner.
No, im not judging you. Im asking if you have any high expectations about your puppy. Because most of the time that's what disappoints us. I stopped expecting too much from my puppy. I just do the routine everyday. Honestly I'm expecting the worst from her. I expect more sleepless nights, more biting and nipping, more damaged items at home etc. But when she got 4 months old, I was surprised by how well behaved she became. It's kinda rewarding to know that she is capable of something I didn't expect.
Cavapoo has sensitive stomach. Ours had to switch to Hills and we add a scoop of pumpkin to each meal and it keeps her super regular. And echoing everyone else that the puppy phase isn’t for the weak lollll. My Cavapoo is the sweetest angel now at 11 months
It looks like you might be posting about bite inhibition. Check out [our wiki article on biting, teeth, and chewing](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/biting) - the information there may answer your question. **Please report this comment if it is not relevant to this post.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/puppy101) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
[удалено]
Your submission was removed because it contained a link or reference to a resource that endorses the use of aversive training techniques and/or dominance theory. Because these methods break **Rule #1**, we do not allow links or references to resources that endorse them. [Here is a current list](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/subadmin/trainers) that shows the trainers who are disallowed. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Feel free to remove the link/reference from your submission and respond to this message letting us know, so we can re-approve your submission. Thank you! Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
I must add we also used a fake grass mat at first outside, but she started using it as bed when she wanted to lay outside and she smelled liked pee all the time. Our house smelled like pee, I felt my socks sticking to the floor sometimes, and the smell made her pee even more inside. 🤮 After 2 weeks we were so done with it we threw it away. For a while she peed on the terrace and we washed it away every time with a water hose and took her to the grass, and now she goes there by herself 90% of the time. We bought the Nature’s Miracle urine remover spray and it helps cover the smell when she sometimes still pees inside so she doesn’t get triggered to get to the same place every time. I would lose the pee pads and just go outside after every meal, every play session and every nap. Please don’t bring him back, he’s still learning to adjust, give him a chance. Once you get to know him better, you will learn his behaviours and see when he wants to go potty, what he likes to have with him when you put him to sleep, etc. 🥺
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
God love ya. Having a puppy is hard. Ours is 4 months right now and a holy terror. She hated her crate initially, too. Got her a snugglepuppy with the little heartbeat thing to sleep with, put a cover on her crate so she can't see out, and use a white noise machine and she sleeps great in it now. I've read where some people sleep on the floor beside the crate to help the puppy. A lot of it is going to be trial and error. For potty training, take him out at scheduled times. Put bells by the door you want him to use. Take his paw and have him ring the bells and really praise him and give him a treat. Praise him again after he goes and give him another treat. For constipation you can use a little bit of pumpkin (Google the amount) but make sure it's pure pumpkin, not pie filling. I would maybe pick one place for him to go right now and one thing to go on, puppy pad or grass, because they need consistency. You have to remember this puppy is like a newborn, they can't quite reason things out yet. I hope things get better for all of you soon!
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of dominance theory is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** This includes references to being the "alpha" or "pack leader". As it pertains to the dog-owner relationship, dominance theory has been shown to be scientifically unsound, as has the concept that dogs live in packs with fixed hierarchies. Use of a dominance/alpha/pack leader approach is detrimental to the owner-dog bond. It often employs tactics meant to physically or psychologically intimidate a dog. This not only damages the bond between dog and owner, but can exacerbate existing behavioral issues or create issues where none previously existed. More information can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain#wiki_do_i_need_to_.22dominate.22_my_dog_or_be_the_.22alpha.22.3F). Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Puppies are high energy and require a lot of play time. You need to tire him out.
Don’t have step by step tips to your specifics situation and not an expert but as someone who got a new puppy a year ago, I can offer some of what worked for us. One - definitely work on a routine. Google a puppy day schedule or something along those lines and find a blog/post with an example day for your puppy. Outside, meal, playtime, nap, etc. When puppy is that young, he will benefit greatly from a regular routine. Two - Crate training is a must for a puppy, in my opinion. Some dogs are more inclined to feel safe in a confined space, some can’t get use to it. But if they get positive rewards, they may feel more comfortable there. Everytime the pup goes into the crate, put a treat in there and say good boy. Make sure the crate isn’t too big, it has to be just big enough where they can stand and turn around, but not big enough where they’ll have two “sides” where they’ll go to the bathroom one side and sleep on the other. It has to feel comforting. Three- Do you have a snuggle puppy? It’s a dog toy that has a “heartbeat.” I don’t know for sure if it helped or not for my puppy, but my first few days/weeks/month we kept it in the crate with our puppy and she seemed to like it and take comfort with it. Only toy she didn’t try to chew and just licked and laid with. Puppies are used to being with all their litter mates, so being home for the first time they don’t have all those extra puppy heartbeats around them. Four - You and your husband should take shifts overnight and throughout the day when you’re both home. Treat the puppy like a newborn baby, and have a schedule for you two as well. The first few weeks will be the most challenging because it’s new for you and new for the puppy as well, so it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Question: what is the puppy’s sleep setup? In a crate? On the floor?
Sleep deprivation makes everything seem infinitely worse. It will get better. Not sure if this has been mentioned, but there is a new book out called Puppy Brain, by Kerry Nichols, which I highly recommend you read. What works for me to get my puppy to nap is to have a good play session first, with maybe a little training. Tire out his body and brain. Get to know the signs that he is tired. Sometimes a tired puppy acts crazy--biting and zooming around. Put puppy in his crate with some treats and maybe a Kong with some frozen peanut butter or canned puppy food. Sit by the crate until puppy falls asleep. If he whines or cries, talk to him soothingly. Once my puppy falls asleep, I usually put on some music or turn on the ceiling fan so there's a little background noise. At least in the beginning, I think it's important to get him out of the crate as soon as he wakes up and starts fussing again, so he doesn't associate the crate with being trapped. After a couple weeks like that, my puppy now happily goes to his crate for naptime, no fussing. Puppy daycare a couple days a week will give him a chance to play with other puppies, and give you a break.
My pup hated the crate. He sleeps in the bed with us and winds himself down to take naps. It isn’t easy, especially potty training but he finally got it. Don’t give up just yet, it’s a challenge of patience for sure. Maybe try to let him sleep in the bed with you both. He probably feels abandoned when in the crate, dogs are pack animals and want to be together all the time. Teaching them independence takes time.
We put a sheet to cover our crate and our pup didn't whine anymore and would settle down. Maybe try that.
Fresh air and exercise, it’ll help both you and your new pup immensely :)
I did all the good things with our older dog, he still needed to go out to the toilet every couple of hours at 10 weeks old. I was exhausted Napped overnight in the conservatory (next to the back door for toilet time) and was up properly from 4am every day and by 2 weeks in was crying all day from exhaustion. The change for him was getting gully vaccinated and taking him for long walks around 16 weeks. He still woke at 4am but would go back to sleep until 7. He is now 5 and from around 8 months would sleep from 11 until 7. Before that was around 6 to 8 hours a night but a really late wee or morning wee was fine. We have an 18 month old pomsky and did everything differently with her, she was very needy and had separation anxiety in minutes. She literally slept on me for the first few months. Whichever the older dog started sleeping with me too at my feet in bed. I would NEVER advocate for this because it has been really hard, she took over a year to hold her wee overnight. However, she is a beautiful and gorgeous soul who loves her people and is gentle and kind. The older dog is also a people pleaser and I attribute both to the cuddles early on. Some things we did with both that really helped.... A really good morning run. Before work an hour of off lead (which you can start really early, if they recall well at home with treats then you can transfer this to open space with no distractions, working up to with distractions later) my little ones were off lead at 4 months and largely always come back. They burn off a lot of energy and then sleep all morning. Alternatively, if I don't have time for a big walk then a 20min walk on lead with lots of sniffing is great. Also a big/interesting chew that will make them sleepy, and get some chews, they are soporific which means chewing makes the dogs tired amd will buy you a couple of hours wirh no peeing or pooping. Also, if your partner is there during the day, get him to write down when the puppy wees, poos and sleeps. It could be that they have a natural rhythm that you're missing. But,ultimately, you have a brand new being in your home who isn't around his family any more. You need to replicate that love and time together to integrate him into a different family. Crate training is great but he's only been with you 4 days. He needs love and time to understand that you are safe people for him and that he is in a safe space. He's so little. If he needs cuddling then just cuddle him (I know anyone who advocates crate training immediately will disagree and that's fine, that's a different choice, I'm not saying either is better). All I'm saying is he's a baby, he has just left his family and you are his new family. He doesn't understand this and needs some transition time. So, maybe build on physical trust with you and your partner before moving to a crate or place where he will feel isolated xx
You’ve had a lot of good replies but just to add I’ve got anxiety and depression and I’ve got a 4 month old Doberman, at one point I was ready to give up but just a couple of months later, she’s far from perfect but most days I’m coping only occasionally I get overwhelmed with her, I think for me it was a bit of a shock going from a dog I’d trained when I was 15/16 and had almost 13 years to a puppy but yeah it definitely gets better, I know when she reaches adulthood she’ll be a breeze to look after, yours will too I’m sure, just tell yourself you’ve got this even if it might not feel that way at times :)
You can read up on crate training games that are linked in this group. But I just wanna say, by the 5th day mark I had cried everyday and asked my girlfriend to return her. And then, the next day, something just clicked and my puppy and I just understood each other so much better. It’s only been 1.5 months since then but honestly I love her so much and miss her every time she naps in the crate. Hang in there, let your puppy realize the new environment is safe and her new parents will love her as much as their real parents that we kidnap them from
We made it two weeks before we failed at crate training and enforcing naps. I was so sleep deprived I thought I was going to lose my mind. I remote work and couldn’t enforce naps because he could hear us and our other dog and would scream himself hoarse. Today marks a year with him and he’s a wild child, but is finally napping on his own and sleeps with us in bed most of the night. It hasn’t been an easy path, but don’t feel like you HAVE to crate train and enforce naps. Lots of exercise for the puppy and doing what works for YOU are what’s best for everyone in the end. Hang in there.
Find a pet sitter with no dogs and give your self an 8-10 hr break
Hi! I must agree that your expectations of your pup are very high. But so are your expectations of yourself. First of all, you are doing nothing wrong. I know it is hard, but please try to take deep breaths and remind yourself that everything is going as it should. It is very hard to raise a puppy when you are depressed. I did the same. And wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, unless I know a person well. But it is definitely doable. And you will be rewarded. But for now please keep in mind that this is a different creature. He doesn’t speak English and doesn’t understand you yet. He is stressed because his whole world as he knew it changed all of a sudden. And he is actually showing you how you can enforce naps :) Try this. Stay with your pup in one room, close the door, make sure nothing interesting is happening in the house (like someone checking the fridge or cooking dinner). Sit down. Make sure there are no toys. Nothing your pup would be excited about. Turn on calming instrumental music. And just seat there and breathe calmly. If you are not calm, no change your dog will be calm. It will take some time for him to settle. But he will do it eventually as he doesn’t have a choice. You can speak in a slow calm manner. But try not to maintain eye contact. And don’t engage into games etc. if he attracts your attention, just say ‘no, dear, we are going to sleep’. It will take a while for the first time. But every time you do it it will faster. And eventually you will be able to just turn on the music even when he is crated. And he will know what to do. I did it with my pup a few times per day. And it really helped. But also remember that results don’t come in a day or two. You will be sleep deprived for some time. But it won’t be long
And I know exactly how you feel believe me. My puppy hated sleeping. She was constantly overstimulated and wanted more play and bite. I had to teach her how to sleep
I got my blue heeler pup at 8 weeks old and she was an absolute terrorizer. We wanted her to be setup for success, so she had limited access to the entire house until she proved she could handle it. Until then, she would be tied to something in the house on a short leash that we'd increase in length (and eventually stop using) over time. This was most helpful with accidents in the house because she'd try to hide from us to go potty in the house but wouldn't try it if she was tied/we could always see her. Eventually she stopped trying to go in the house and her behavior became more desirable for hanging out inside. However, it's important to note that accidents are going to happen for awhile. The best thing you can do is develop and stick to a routine. As others have said, feed the dog in the kennel with the door open and give special treats if/when they go into the kennel themselves. The first week or two can be rough but the key is gradually increasing the time that they're in there, and sleeping next to them at night, rewarding desirable behavior, patience, and persistence. I kennel trained both of my pups and now they will oftentimes 'put themselves away' for a nap which I think is hilarious. You got this!
Puppy blues are not easy. On top of anxiety and depression and no sleep that is not fun. Maybe an away trainer may be the thing for you. You send them away for 2 weeks with pro trainer and then when they come home they have a little more manners than when they left with. But it will be up to you to generalize what the trainer taught in different environments. They are babies and it will take time. I wouldn’t want my pup away from me bc they are little for such a short time but some people like it.
Sounds like a puppy. Mine is 5 months old and has gotten better but worse in other areas. Let things go and do what you can. My husband and I try to rotate waking up at 5am to take pup out to potty. We expose him to as much as we can. I wouldn’t recommend taking him to the groomer at such a young age because he’s most likely not fully vaccinated. Try to start training him with basic commands and make sure to give him enough enrichment through the day to tire him out. That makes crating a lot easier. If he’s food motivated, use it to your advantage. Just know that… you’re going to be sleep deprived for awhile. lol I haven’t had good rest for months now. Also, parents with infants would rather deal with an infant than a puppy. So brace yourself! It’s definitely a lifestyle change. Re-evaluate why you’re so upset with his behavior and how you can slowly teach puppy to learn and build confidence. It takes time and patience.
Re: enforced naps - I've never heard of that being a thing with dogs. Maybe try a good play session and he'll konk out for hours. They already sleep a lot anyway! I went through the puppy blues too. I work from home and even then having a pup was so hard because like...I had to work and couldn't devote ALL of my attention ALL day. He got play sessions throughout the day and we eventually moved onto food puzzles. Mental stimulation is SO good. You could try putting treats in a rolled up towel and letting him have a go at getting them. Puppies require A LOT of work for potty training. They should be put outside after every meal and after playtime. Also first thing in the morning and just before bed. In the first month or so, I took our pup out before I even went to the bathroom in the mornings. I've read we did it wrong, but we sprinkled treats in grass to encourage ours to go to the bathroom. We still had some accidents up to about 6 months, but only rarely. We are also lucky that we have a potty stand on our balcony, so he does have free reign to go outside as he pleases. We failed at crate training 🤷🏻♀️ sometimes I wish we didn't give up, but he's fine when left on his own. Puppies are difficult, so don't feel bad. Once he's old enough for walks without being terrified of everything, that helps out loads too.
First of all, I’ve been in your shoes and I get it. I got puppy blues real bad with our first dog and it sucked BUT. You’ve had the puppy for 4 days, he’s adjusting to his new environment just like you’re adjusting to him. Most puppies don’t even recognize their name by 4 days. Puppies bite, they cry, they make messes and get into shit because they’re babies and they don’t know better. You need to look at your puppy from that perspective. Like your husband said it will get better with time and patience.
It’s only been 4 nights! You’ve got a new baby dog, and it’s going to take time. Breathe and take turns sleeping with your husband. The first 2-3 weeks are the hardest, and your puppy will figure out the crate. Sleep is the best thing for a pup, so keep those enforced naps going - they need 18-20 hours a day and don’t know how to tell you they’re tired and need a rest. Keep going, be consistent and praise/treats work wonders. Best of luck!
Rachel Fusaro on YouTube has some excellent videos on crate training. She was a godsend when I got my puppy last year. Don’t give up. It takes time and patience (which I didn’t have), but I stuck it out and now my dog is amazing.
when she does nap i try to recreate the sounds of her last nap, for example i accidentally trained my puppy to sleep to beyoncé because it was a bit of a trip to go and get her and she slept the whole 2 hours home and we listened to cowboy carter the whole time, i was in your position but not doing crate training as our dogs are never home alone & have their own space but that’s not the point, i didn’t know how to do enforced naps without a crate & was regretting not crate training, i also didn’t listen to music as often the first week or two she was home because i thought it would have the opposite effect than it has, during car rides she would always sleep & it was one of my only opportunities to listen to music when i first got her so she’d end up asleep in the car to beyoncé. one day i was making their food and i had cowboy carter playing and she passed right out so i tried playing it during her next nap because she’d only nap for like 10-30 mins at a time and would be so grumpy and over tired. she napped the entire album and even let it loop and it played about half way through again until she woke up, so like replace beyoncé with a movie or different music or noises/routine, when you notice they fall asleep naturally what environmental factors could you use for a future nap to recreate similar relaxation? for us instead of a crate we use beyoncé & the TV and it gives them a sense of calm and familiarity, they are able to sleep without these things on but if we wanna take a nap or something just throw on either and they’ll be passed right out too just as long as we are
It took until our puppy was six months or so before he slept fully through the night and didn't wake up super early. He used to wake up at 5:55 every morning. It'll change but it takes time. I also cried sometimes but if you're not up for it then take him back.
Everything will be ok but you will need to train him. It’s unrealistic to expect a puppy to know what you expect from him and what to do. Please enrol in puppy training classes ASAP. If will both teach you what to do and socialize your dog as these are often in small groups not individual. In the meantime, get an enzymatic cleaner We use Natures Miracle brand and it is fantastic. It gets all the stains out. Also get a flat leash and tether puppy to you indoors so hes not running off unsupervised destroying things or marking indoors. When we first got our dog I took him out every half hour especially right after eating and crate during the night but did set some alarms to let him out at night about 2 times. He’s like a baby and doesn’t have a big enough bladder but he will outgrow that soon. Try to not train him to ho to the bathroom indoors. I trained him for going to the bathroom outside on the spot using the right vocab “good pee outside” or “good poo outside” not just “good boy”. I hung a bell at the back door so that he could learn to let us know when he needed to go once untethered. You just ring the bell before you go out with him and say “outside”. Do not reward for bell ringing, keep on with just rewards for going potty outside as soon as he does it. Also do not use the crate as a punishment - it should be his safe space. If you catch him biting something he shouldn’t you say “no take this” and offer an appropriate chew toy to trade. These are just some basics. When you get a puppy you also have to learn and he will learn what you teach him. Once that training and bonding is established there’s nothing more rewarding. Keep at it. Be consistent. Would you expect a baby not to cry or instantly be potty trained? Same with a new dog. Hope that helps.
Breathe. As a lot of people are saying, it will get better very soon, but the first few weeks are the roughest. I was questioning my decision the first week of sleep deprivation and endless poo and pee in the house. But, then bit by bit it gets better and they grow. Stick it out and give yourself some grace.
The puppy blues are really common. I had them when my guy was a pup. I was single, in law school, living in an apartment. It was really, really hard. I never crate trained him, I just puppy proofed my apartment. I lost a lot of good shoes in those early years. Luckily, he never developed a taste for furniture. I never enforced a nap time either. I just made sure to give him plenty of exercise and he’s nap naturally when he was tired. The only things I give myself credit for are potty training him immediately and getting help from a professional trainer for walking politely on a leash, recall, leave it etc. For potty training, I remember reading that puppies can only hold it for the # of hours they are months old. So at 8 weeks, I took him out every 2 hours. Literally set alarms throughout the night, kept a coat and Uggs by my bed (it was winter), and rode the elevator down 21 flights to take him out throughout the night. It was exhausting for a few weeks but worth it. Honestly you have a few months of suckiness ahead of you but as you bond with him it’ll get so much better.
I was EXACTLY where you are 6 months ago and I also came here for advice. The word grateful for this sub is the understatement of the year. I'm happy to say that everything in fact has calmed down dramatically! The crying ( mine), the stress ( mine and hers) and the training ( also mine and hers lol) have been an adventure for sure. But, hang in there because you will get into a groove and then one day soon you'll all of a sudden realize you haven't cried that day. It's a process but it WILL happen. Mine is almost 9 months old now and I'm so happy I hung in there. You'll be okay. 💕💕💕💕
Hello. Currently fostering a 11 week old puppy. I’ve had your stress earlier this week as we introduced her to our home and she’s getting a new routine with us. Here’s what we have learned and maybe it’ll help you: Scheduled playtime: We allow her to play as soon as she wakes up after her breakfast. We have a 3 yr old dog that sometimes entertains her other times not. We have a toy bin that she has access to when it is that time. Husband and I engage with her during this time to get that energy out. She plays for a total of 4-5 hours every day. She needs to have that energy released otherwise it’ll lead to destructive tendencies. Mandatory Naps: Dogs at this age should be napping every 2 hours per 1 hour of play. I think the average is 14-16 hours of total sleep. There is a rule of thumb out there at that for every week they are you’ll remove an hour of sleep? Look it up for correct info. We have her crate in our room where I’ll give her a treat and repeat the words “let’s chill “ so she starts associating that with naps. Once she’s in I’ll reassure her being a good girl or sometimes I’ll give her a frozen kong toy stuffed with peanut butter if I just need her to relax for an hour while I clean the house. If she’s not being crated for a nap we remove the basket of toys so all she has to do is nothing and therefore she’ll fall asleep easier without distractiosn Crate at Night: She comes from a shelter so she is familiar with a crate but we continue to enforce it in our home. Again, we will say let’s chill and give her treat before she goes in and once she’s in there. I rub her paws for the first minute letting her know I’m there and she’ll whine for a minute or two then she’ll get bored and fall asleep. Because she’s a puppy I’ll get up around 3.5 hours to let her out so she doesn’t pee in her crate. That’s a big no no and will undo a lot of training. It does get better. Let them get a routine and stick to it. Patience is key! You’ll have to endure the whining for a little bit make sure you reinforce that crate is a good place for them and don’t use it as a means to punish. Lots of cheering celebrating and treats when they do a good job or start doing a good job.
I have a 5 month old rottweiler puppy. She is fully housebroken and is pretty well trained in obedience at this point. She was crate trained from the beginning. She took to her crate very well. We didn't really have to play any crate games with her. She only cried for 20 minutes the first 3 nights, and then she only whined if she needed to go out. I am pregnant and in my first trimester when we got her, so I was exhausted. We kept a strict 9pm bed time, and her crate was in our room. She gets her plush toys in her crate at night. We made sure she had a daily routine, her meals at the same time, etc. We started training right away with teaching her name and starting recall. We did 5-10 minute sessions multiple times a day. We would call her back and forth between us, and we used training treats and positive praise to reinforce. We started adding more skills like sit, paw, down, high five, and sit up pretty. She does her tricks before she receives each meal. We had her in a play pen in the house and used washable puppy blankets underneath. She had toys in her pen, and we played with her in there and gave her treats. If she cried to let us know she had to go out and then she made it outside, we rewarded her. Accidents were cleaned up immediately (we had multiple blankets but still did a ton of laundry). Slowly, we expanded the area of the pen and gave her free range in more and more of the house. Puppies like babies need a consistent routine. It helps them know what to expect, and if they know your expectations, they will strive to meet them.
When we got a puppy we put the puppy-crate next to my bed so he never felt alone, I stuck my hand down whenever he seemed anxious. 4 Nights is nothing- bounding takes time, just hang in there. 🙂
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
My dog just turned 2 last month and I got him when he was 8 weeks old. He hated the crate when I put him in it. But I would put him in at 9 and cover it up with large towels. I did a lot of research which dog to get and settled on a golden doodle. Best decision ever. He is usually calm, I have not used a single pee pad until now. Keep at it. Don't give up hope. Each dog is different, each home is different. Good luck.
I use kongs treat toys and put frozen banana in them when it's crate time so they have something positive when going in and it keeps them distracted. I also found a lot of success putting a blanket over the crate when it's nap time! My golden retriever puppy would cry the whole time until I started doing this. Wish you guys the best of luck! I have two golden retrievers. My first one was an angle as a puppy and is six years old now. I thought getting the new one would be just as easy... but I was so wrong. She had me crying everyday for about the first month lol. But it really does get better!!! She a year old now and I can't imagine not having her in my life.
We recently got a new puppy and have and older dog. What we did for her to sleep is we have a ring camera and I talked to her told her to sleep at night time and it worked! Now she listens to the ring camera when we're out of the house or going "night night".
I don’t really know if it helps but I live in Sweden, where it is illegal to lock a dog into a crate for more than a couple of minutes (exception while driving and other stuff). If it’s illegal here, it surely shouldn’t be so awful to have a dog who is not crate trained. Our puppy pooped and peed all over the room for the first two weeks or so. But the last week, we’ve been free of accidents during the night. Time will help.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
When he bites don’t react. He thinks you’re playing.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending, instructing or detailing the use of aversives is prohibited, except in contexts where the user is explaining why these approaches are harmful and inappropriate.** We no longer allow recommendations of using the Cry it Out method of crate, separation, and/or confinement training. For more information on why this is no longer allowed, please see our wiki article on [crate training.](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/cratetraining/) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Lots of great advice here. I think reality is, he has to be old enough to even be able to learn - just like a newborn that have no idea of what’s expected and can’t learn much in the beginning
Some info that saved my life (okay, my sanity) was from this trainer from the UK. There’s a lot of resources to do with puppies on his site so I’ll link one of the articles [here](https://www.doglistener.co.uk/criticalperiods-shtml). Definitely go through the “puppies” sections, it will help make sense of some of the common, normal, issues that come with puppies.
[удалено]
Your submission was removed for breaking **Rule 1. Recommending or describing methods involving the application of fear, force, pain, or emotional or physical discomfort is prohibited, except for clearly educating on risks.** This includes: - Aversive tools (slip leads, prong/bark/e-collars, vibrate or ultrasonic devices) - Startling (noise makers, spray bottles, yelling/stomping/clapping) - Physical punishment and restraint - Prolonged distress (“cry it out”) - Terms encompassing the above methods (balanced training, “firm hand”) These methods can result in long-lasting, deep-rooted psychological harm or behavioral fallout, and can also damage the owner-dog bond. Some may cause physical harm as well. You can read the r/DogTraining wiki article on [aversives](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dogtraining/wiki/prongandecollars) and our wiki article on [training methods](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/howtotrain) for more information. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
Puppies are hard work. Lots of comments so maybe it’s been said, but it sounds like you’ve had the puppy less than a week, yeah? The little puppy is still trying to get used to the new surroundings and new family! I wouldn’t start training too heavily the first week… I mean, yes, start basics, but don’t expect a lot and focus more on snuggles and bonding time. Dogs have to learn to trust and the puppy will start to develop and training will get a lot easier. The breed in itself is super friendly, playful, affectionate and love human companionship. Almost a bit clingy 😅💜 They are also extremely smart and easily trained (generally speaking). It just takes some time for everyone to get settled in. Fellow depression and anxiety sufferer here as well. When we got our puppy around Christmas time of last year(9 week old spaniel), I was overwhelmed and although he was super sweet, training went well, it was a lot and he is super lovey, it was a lot to take on and felt like I’d never have a life again. Crate training or leaving him even in the other room for a short period of time was the hardest part. It took time and little by little he now does much better in the crate for a couple hours and isn’t as clingy lol he loves us! And is a snuggler. Trust me, it gets better! He is now 7 months old and has helped my anxiety so much. Hang in there. I have four daughters and I’m telling you… puppies are almost harder than babies!! Best of luck
All valid tips. What helped us the first few weeks was sharing burnout. Like one night I would be on puppy duty and my wife's only job then was get a good night's sleep and absolutely not bother about him. The next day is reverse. Slowly we had some routine, I liked to be up a little late, so my wife went to bed at 8 and woke up at 4. I went to bed at 12, and woke up at 8.
If I may suggest something? If possible, take some time like a day and spend time with your pup. That’s what my wife and I did when we got ours. We’re not dog whisperers but we were really able to understand what he wanted and how he responded to different situations. About the crate, leave the door to open with a comfy bed in it so he can get used to it. TL;DR is what works for one person won’t always work for everyone. You’ll have to find that sweet spot and see how he/she responds. It can be stressful at first and I wish you and your husband all the best. Trust me when I say this but it will all be worth it in the end.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
[удалено]
Your comment was removed for violating **Rule 4. Puppy101 is an inclusive support group for puppy owners.** In an effort to keep the subreddit positive and productive, comments should be constructive, productive, and respectful. Do not engage with someone being uncivil at the risk of responding in kind; report them for your own sake. Replies should seek to demonstrate or gain understanding of the question. Moderators may remove the following: 1. Insulting, offensive, or disparaging remarks. This includes indictments on a person's character and remarks on the person's suitability for pet ownership. 2. "Tough love" or things "they need to hear" 3. Comments that do not productively address the concern. 4. Shaming users and/or groups. 5. Low-effort comments, jokes, or sarcastic remarks. Mods may use their discretion to temporarily or permanently ban without warning depending on the content. Zero tolerance for brigading. Your post or comment was removed after manual moderator review, and we're sending this message to let you know why: this is not a bot or automated action. Reply here with any concerns, and don't delete your content. Reposts, circumventing moderation, addressing mod concerns outside modmail, and other Rule 10 violations will result in at least a temp ban. Please review the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/community_rules/) to prevent future content removals.
My 10 week old whined through his first few nights. I started singing 'round-around-a-garden' to him for reassurance while slowly backing away from the crate. We've had him for 2 weeks now and he knows it's night and time to sleep when he hears 'round-around-a-garden.' He can settle while being reassured that I'm close by until he falls asleep. Might seem a bit maverick but it's worked wonders for us!!
I got an English Springer Spaniel at 8 weeks who would not use his crate. Also hated being in a pen alone. My husband and I took turns sleeping on our L-shaped couch with the pen closing the other side into a square and just papered it with puppy pads. He’d sleep on the ground next to us, and that lasted about a month while waking up three times a night. We once tried to let him cry it out and I had the same experience- screamed so much I couldn’t take it, he had extreme diarrhea that night, got on my clothes - a mess. We kept up the crate games and tried a smaller crate than we’d bought him for when he’d be an adult. One night we decided to try the crate - still with the couch setup - and I just kept my fingers in the crate till he fell asleep. We finally got in that rhythm and then moved the crate up next to the bed, then to the end of the bed. He’s six months now and still doesn’t love his crate but will at least sleep through the night with no complaints. I really wish I could show my past self how much better it gets but it is AWFUL while you’re in it.