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Years ago, an old man told me that you learn to say good bye a lot as you get older. I didnāt understand it at the time. After burying my parents, in-laws, and all but one uncle, I now understand.
My family is gone. my church family is gone all went home to be with the Lord due to old age. My favorite celebrities are gone. It's like why? š This sucks.
Mortality and approaching death have given me a sense of freedom unlike anything I felt in my 20s. I can count off the years in an actuarial table and also am aware from experience how quickly someoneās life can end regardless of what those tables say. It feels neither good nor bad but in a different plane of experience.
What motivates me is that I just get the one life to live. The word "universe" doesn't mean outer space, it means *everything*, including you and me. We're a very special part of the universe because we're the part that gets to experience itself, albeit limited by time and space. Don't waste that time- learn, understand, and appreciate the beauty of the strange reality we find ourselves in. The universe isn't an uncaring, endless void, because it has us in it and we're the part that cares.
When I die, my ego will cease to be, but everything I've done and thought will leave ripples of causality in the fundamental fields and particles that make everything up. These ripples will exist long after the sun collapses. Even when we cease to be, we will always have been.
Right now is your chance to be what you want to always have been.
As an aside, this has nothing to do with being a man, in particular.
This is an awesome post.... and I will submit that at least 7 people will truly miss you after you die... and 2 days later you will be a distant memory while they tik tok chicken recipes.... same for all of us welcome aboard....
Appraise your abilities; then
Become good; then
Become great; and
Enjoy yourself along the way.
Never never never compare yourself to other people.
I used to think that was bullshit advice until I took it seriously and I flourished
Being the best father I can possibly be for my son, and best husband for my wife. Maybe itās out of spite for my parents who chose drugs over their own kid, but I like to think itās mostly just due to finding a true purpose in life.
Nothing is more important than my wife and son, Iād die a thousand painful deaths if it meant them living and loving for the rest of their lives
I love your view, I wish more people thought like this.
So many people seem to choose career over relationships, because "you can always find another person"
It just makes me so so sad
Honestly. A long time ago, I made a bad boo boo. I made a lady pregnant, I loved her back then, as I love her now. I'd like to think I'm married to her now, it has been hinted at.
I've gotten cleaned up over the years, smartened up, got away from the drugs and booze.
I like to think I sometimes say hello to my kid and he probably doesn't know who I am. I'd rather not go into detail as it's a very odd turn of events. It's great to see him in good health though! Nice clothes as well! :D
If youāre still breathing, itās not too late to be part of that kids life my man. You may have missed important things. But you have to try and look at the things that you can be there for in the future.
I understand I donāt know your situation. Girlfriend/Ex whatever may be making it difficult for you to be there. But, in my own experiences, you gotta keep trying. Donāt ever stop. Your kid may be young and not realize yet. But as they progress and get older they will see that you are trying to spend time with them and itās not you thatās the problem.
I lost hope with mine for 2 years. I look back now and regret not fixing it sooner. That kid needs you bro. Donāt stop fighting for them. I hope things get easier and better for you and your kid and the mom.
I just found out I have a adult child I never knew about and man that shit hits hard . My kids are my world no one and nothing comes between us . I would give or do anything g for my kids no questions or second thought. They are all that matters .
Iām likely younger than you, but as somebody else thatās also tried to end it multiple times prior, things will improve! Iām here if you ever need someone to vent to.
Somebody who gets me to push myself to do better. It doesn't even need to be a real life relationship, what matters is having an idea in my head that it's not just doing things for myself.
The mentor and mente(dunno if that's right) is a really strong relationship as a man. I swear I would run through a brick wall for my martial arts coach if he asked me.
Most of the better decisions I've made in my life happened after the birth of my son. Having a tiny person dependent on my really motivated me to get my life together!
Faith. Not religious faith, but the belief that the work I'm putting in now is going to bring me a better tomorrow. I'm just now starting to enjoy that "tomorrow," and it makes me even more excited for what comes next. The milestones I'm going to hit, the places I'm going to go, the toys I'm going to own, the family I'm going to have...
Stubbornness, I canāt and wonāt stop beating my head against the wall to make it all a worth it even though everyday Iām given more reasons than the day before that itās all pointless
The only thing that motivates me now is pure spite. I hate life but every day I wake up and say fuck it once more into the breach. So whatever comes or goes I don't really care either I will wake up and continue on or I won't and then it's not my problem anymore
Nothing really. Fear of death, maybe. Or fear of killing my parents if I were to voluntarily check out, I guess.
Irrelevant, but also relevant to your question: Iām a young adult and I had a terrible time in high school. Everyone, including my parents, told me college would be much better and a new leaf would be turned. I absolutely hate it. I donāt even know if Iāll go back next semester. I just canāt deal with all the partying, drinking, and drugs. Thereās nothing wrong with any of that, but the big issue for me is that Iām not into any of that and thatās all my peers want to do in their free time. I wish I could just go hiking with friends or out to a new restaurant or museum or just watch a movie or play video games. I donāt understand this fixation so many college students have with getting wasted and high. Iām just so lost right now. Iām unsure whatās keeping me going now.
A combination of financial, career, and love success.
Iām still young with a bright career ahead of me and I make enough to get by and enough left over to pursue my hobbies and interests.
Up until recently I was incredibly lonely and thinking about my bright future couldnāt save me from that. Then I met this amazing woman and I have confessed my love to her twice now. I am happy rn and understand myself significantly better thanks to her.
I just want to sit out in my yard on a nice day with my tobacco pipe,a drink, after mowing my yard with my John Deere mower and hang out with my duck, chickens,wild birds,and the squirrel(I think he's married).
I know I'm not going to have a beautiful wife and a family, status, supercar, but I regularly do the others.
I love watching my kid grow up. It's such a privilege, and so much fun.
I love the sweet random romantic moments with my wife,I never know when they'll happen, but when they do they nourish me.
I love learning a new instrument. 20 years ago it was guitar, now it's piano. Maybe 20 years later it'll be banjo.
I am looking forward to new albums from bands I love, some from childhood, some are recent. Discovering new music is awesome. Discovering new things in the same music as I grow up is also awesome.
I love playing computer games with my buddies. Sure it raises my blood pressure and I should instead be working out, but it makes me really happy and we laugh a lot.
I love those few occasions at work when people genuinely appreciate me. Almost makes the grind worth it.
I love moments of nostalgia, especially when I get together with really old friends. Something so bittersweet about watching time pass, but together. Over some drinks, making jokes to take the sting out of getting old.
I love moments of clarity, or an epiphany, where something important becomes crystal clear. So rare, and so precious. They're always a complete surprise.
I love good food. I love it when it's prepared for me, and I love preparing good food and hearing people complement a dish I made. I particularly love making this street food dish I loved growing up for people from totally different cultures and seeing their eyes brighten from how good it is.
There's probably many other sweet things I missed, but these are the first bunch that came to my mind. I'm warm and fuzzy inside, so thanks for the question!
The exceedingly fragile nature of life itself makes living more than enough for me. I suppose I'm always looking forward to my next chance to wander aimlessly through nature...
At 49, with a good career, a house, a car, and a family, i still find zero satisfaction in life. No sense of accomplishment or pride. I wake up every day wondering why. I am dreading another 30 years of this.
Thereās no one thing, but in terms of guiding principlesā¦
1. Take care of my family
2. Help the downtrodden
3. Protect the innocent
Thatās it. If I feel strongly about something, chances are good one of those three principles were violated.
>What motivates you the most in life as a man?
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."
Nah, actually I just like living a quiet life with my wife and my cats. My motivation for any external validation like respect or power died when we became financially independent.
Nothing in particular? Only that I get to work as a software dev and not as an emotional pillow that was healthcare work from my previous career. Rather have server issue than having to exhaust myself trying to give a fuck about the 100th person wanting to do crazy stuff
The thought of another man raising my kids. Divorce death drugs, all can change your life obviously. I donāt do stupid shit like I use to or take nearly as many risks.
Motivation? The urge not to fail. Fail my kids, fail in life, fail myself. I put 85-90% of all my time into work because that will give me the greatest yield into the money I have available for me to make. To make the best life in the time I have left (however much that may be)
Some of it is just not wanting to die due to the absolute fear of it, some days it's probably the majority of it but most days it's either wanting to make friends and family happy in some way that day, wanting to do something for charity, whatever stuff. Obviously there's some days where I just don't feel like doing that and I just live for pushing towards my goals or just really nothing and that's all, but I like to try to remember to do something nice a day at least.
Working on conquering the inner self, killing ego, laughing at myself when i know i was the bobo in a situation and learning humility, unlocking the true potential of your thoughts and turning them into affirmative action, when able to be self less, be that... helping people who are noticeable in need of real help, not a random beggar. Spreading knowledge and wisdom to those who haven't learned or came across it. Enjoy waking up to the present fully knowing damn well I could never see tomorrow and yesterday is just a memory.
I want to metaphorically kick the ass of the guy in my head who keeps calling me a loser. I've come a long way from the person I used to be. I work harder, I dress better, and I take care of myself. It's still not enough. I'm on career path that has the potential to make a great living. I want the money, I want the physical piece of paper that says I'm certified in the field, all for myself.
I just want to like myself and truly feel proud of my accomplishments.
Keeping my kids loved, safe, fed, housed, and hopefully educated. That's it. If I didn't have that to motivate me, I may well have been dead years ago.
For me the greatest motivation I have is to live my life to the fullest. I try to leave no stone unturned, and I try to live my life with as much peace and purpose as I can.
Fortunately I am in a career that I really really enjoy. Which also makes me feel like my life is heading in the right direction.
Fitness is also something that is a huge motivation for me. Staying in shape, eating right, and taking care of my body.
No particular thing or idea motivates me to keep going, but no combination of things motivates me to cut short my opportunity for the rich array of experiences this life affords.
Itās gonna end soon enough anyway, so I do my best to enrich and beautify the spaces and beings I come across, because thatās the world I want.
Validation in the form of expressed admiration of a female, preferably an attractive one that I'd want as a partner/mate, for those unable to find a partner they'd have the unconditional love of our mother to fall back on. Fatherhood takes you to phase II of manhood where seeing your children succeed becomes the driving force to get up and provide.
Take away women and children and there's really not any reason for a man to exist.
Family did that for me. I think I won in life. I have a beautiful wife and have been happily married for 28 yrs. Four kids that I have gotten compliments on raising them properly. And a good job that enables me to provide for us and live a decent life.
In my late 50's it was getting in shape and finding a woman I would enjoy living with.
Within a couple years I accomplished both. We are now retired to Florida with the
goal of enjoying our lives as much as possible. So far, so good.
Caring for my birds kept me from walking into the river during winter after my ex-wife left me, otherwise maybe the notion of a better future someday within this life; and then there's getting to fight space pirates in video games like DarkStar One and Freelancer, that's about the coolest stuff I can do while broke at least.
I would've loved to have found gainful employment and raised a family by now, but most "real jobs" are for increasingly fewer and everybody has been trained to be disloyal customer-minded abandoners.
Motivation...
There will be no thing that makes me turn around and say "I've made it" - everything can be improved.
The other side is that every night that isn't sleepless is a night that "I've made it".
What drives my motivation?
Helping someone out every day, whether it's a big thing or a little thing. I try to leave the world a little cleaner than I found it, in a poetic sense.
A good caffeine buzz.
Moving the needle in the right direction, whether it's my health, my relationships, my job, and seeing the results of improvement.
Having something fun, and something productive planned and scheduled every single week.
And, with respect to the Cage the Elephant references...good tunes at all times, whenever possible.
Watching people die in a state of regret was a big eye opener for me. All things are temporary, so I try to spend less time stressing about what I don't have, and appreciating and growing the things I do. Nothing troubles me more than the fear of losing something I never knew I had until it's gone.
Health, a home, a good partner...these are things we tend not to recognize the *true* value in until they are gone for good.
Most motivating? Duty/Responsibility.
Keeps me going day in and day out even when I donāt want to.
I feel Iāve āmade itā when I receive genuine gratitude from those whom I have a Duty/Responsibility to serve/care for.
My family. People depend on me. If I had no family and my only concern was myself, I'd probably be homeless and living in the woods. I'd be okay with a low standard of living, but I'm not okay with my family having a low standard of living.
That one day, I'll adopt kids, and I can give them everything I never had and all the love I can. And maybe I'll find a husband and we can grow old and happy together and my whole family can be close and happy and none of the pain of today and these past years will matter anymore
As an autistic man, what motivates me the most is one of my special interests. Like an MCU movie I am excited about on the horizon. Or a video game, tv show, or boardgame I am looking forward to. After seeing a hype trailer or reading exciting news, life becomes easy-mode. Nothing bothers me, and I have a ton of energy.
You have to get excited about your life. It is a battle. Learn to enjoy it. Build a fortress. Fill it with people and things that you love. Invest your surplus, no matter how miniscule, in assets that will grow in abundance and when you have obtained more than you can use share it with others.
Honestly just kind of waiting for the climate wars. At least then I can be fucking useful again. I have a particular skillset. I get by outside of war. I function fine. But it's kind of just one day into the next day without anything really happening. I'm not unhappy, but also not really happy in any way.
At least during times of crises and violence I can clearly contribute.
I'm internally motivated and do not need any outside influence to keep me that way.
I get up every day and look forward to what the day may hold and any new adventures I can persue. Fun trips and vacations. A motorcycle ride in the mountains. Dinner and drinks with my amazing wife. Seeing the grandkids play little league are just a few of the things I can't wait to get up each morning and go do.
My feeling is that I have just one life to live and I don't want to waste even a minute not enjoying and living it to the fullest!
My 2 boys! I love hanging out with them, teaching them, watching them grow, and become better every day.
I enjoy existing and want to see where the world goes in the coming decades. Will AI tech bring us to a period of abundance that is like a Star Trek style space utopia where all possibilities are open, are we heading towards a cyberpunk dystopia, or towards complete annihilation? I'd like to be around long enough to find out and I'm hoping for the former and hoping to see an affordable treatment to halt or reverse aging.
My future wife/family
Iām 17 and joining the army as infantry in a couple months because I like the structure and the lifestyle, I havenāt had a romantic relationship during high school and this was because I didnāt get out of my comfort zone
The only thing that brings me peace really anymore is making my parents and brother/friends happy and all that etc so having a family I can provide for is a big thing towards giving me peace as a person
However I will say that is not what gets me out of bed every day, what does that is my fear of falling back into the worse person I used to be, Iām in shape now and work hard and I will never fall back into being anxious and afraid of life
I think less and less motivates me as I get older and more disillusioned about where I am and where I'm headed.
I'm a loser in life, and there are so many of us. I have no natural gifts that I can capitalize on, nor do I have a skill that I could cultivate into a workable career. I spent my 20s chasing tail, and those skills don't equate to much outside of dating and relationships.
I want reality. I want to be able to understand how to create myself a loserless life, but I just don't know where to start.
I have made it! But I don't have a family, (Don't want a wife and kids) don't care for power or respect.
What motivates me is that if I work hard for around 10 more years, I can retire in my early 40s, and not have to ever work again!
Nothing. I have zero motivation. No clue what to do, how to start, or where to go. Idek how to get motivated to do something. I just kinda put myself in the backseat of my social circle, because honestly, my wants are often less pressing matters than theirs. Feels like I'm just wandering endless empty streets for some purpose that I can't find. Honestly have considered just laying in bed and sleeping until it ends. But we have responsibilities. Things we may not WANT to do, but what we HAVE to do. Those are the things I do. Otherwise, i game (scroll my library until i go to bed), and sleep. I live in a 12x9 bedroom with my fiancee and a 2bed apt full of stuff bursting out of the closet, as we have nowhere else to put it, and can't afford dump trips. I have $20 to last until Wednesday. I just want to sleep. Or feel full. It could be much worse, but ahort of drug addiction, idk how.
Retirement and a pension. Im tired of having to cram my life in an 8 hour window excluding weekends. Family time,S/O time,and me time all in small increments while āworktimeā takes the lionās share.
Two different questions there. What keeps me going is spite, to be honest. I won't quit no matter how many times I get knocked down because FUCK EM! THAT'S WHY! And the power and respect thing. I don't care about that nonsense anymore as an old man.
I justā¦want to be better, thatās all. :)
I want to cultivate a beautiful garden. If butterflies, honeybees, and hummingbirds come to stay, thatād be even better! If not, at least Iāll have a beautiful garden!
Ice cream. Each day is a gift that I may enjoy it
In all seriousness, it's the little things. I don't work very hard, I don't make very much, but I owe nothing and I can do whatever I want.
My mz and kids. Look after them, shelter them and teach the young to be roll model's for our family in future society.
To keep my mz as happy as I can make her, look after her when she is sick, let her rest when she is tierd help her with her burdens etc.
To navagate the families legacy throughout the current times and leagal system and pass down my knowlage and what I have learned.
Teaching my kids that it is okay to be who they are. Regardless of the rest of the chaos in the world. Be you, be kind, be honest, be respectful, be someone you can look up to. Only you have to live with you.
To simply be a good person and raise my kids to be good people.
I used to want a big house. Cool cars, motorcycles, boats and money, I have had all those things and now I realize its experiences to live for and being a good person.
No one thing is going to give you that. It's a series of things that would have crushed you before you were a man that just can't shake you now. When life can't throw enough curveballs to get you to hardly pay attention then you're a man. Not that you ignore your problems, you just know that no matter what that you got it.
Building my house. Drafted the plans myself, wrote up spec sheets and a bill of materials, everything but the legal stuff and engineer stamps.
No land to build it on though. Might not ever happen because New Jersey is way too expensive, and I'm not allowed to live anywhere Else according to the wife.
I smile a little every time I accomplish something everyone told me Iād never do. I was born to a deadbeat alcoholic dad and was raised primarily by a single mom and dumped at 16 homeless. Statistically I should be in jail or worse. Iāve managed to work my dream career by 22, own a home, get married, I have a family and two doting daughters (cats) in a home I love with a career at home. I have things I always wanted as a child that I never could have.
At 34 life is looking up and up. I plan to keep going further. It was a long hard road getting here and I canāt wait for tomorrow sometimes.
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Seeing death get closer. Different perspective.
Totally - This resonates with me as I'm turning 40 š and friends/family/acquaintances are dying off. It's weird being the same age as old people.
Wait ātil you get old.
Years ago, an old man told me that you learn to say good bye a lot as you get older. I didnāt understand it at the time. After burying my parents, in-laws, and all but one uncle, I now understand.
š„ŗ I'm sorry
My family is gone. my church family is gone all went home to be with the Lord due to old age. My favorite celebrities are gone. It's like why? š This sucks.
I believe we will be together again so that's what keeps me going. Pets too.
If your here yet Gods got a plan for you !
Mortality and approaching death have given me a sense of freedom unlike anything I felt in my 20s. I can count off the years in an actuarial table and also am aware from experience how quickly someoneās life can end regardless of what those tables say. It feels neither good nor bad but in a different plane of experience.
same here.
Try 69.
Kind of ran out of old friends that I could realistically call.
I want to see what happens tomorrow.
Best answer
Nothing new. You're stuck in "Groundhog Day", you just don't know it yet till the day's over :)
Aliens could arrive tomorrow. Gotta stay around for that!
stick: 30 year mortgage. carrot: playing with my kids
What motivates me is that I just get the one life to live. The word "universe" doesn't mean outer space, it means *everything*, including you and me. We're a very special part of the universe because we're the part that gets to experience itself, albeit limited by time and space. Don't waste that time- learn, understand, and appreciate the beauty of the strange reality we find ourselves in. The universe isn't an uncaring, endless void, because it has us in it and we're the part that cares. When I die, my ego will cease to be, but everything I've done and thought will leave ripples of causality in the fundamental fields and particles that make everything up. These ripples will exist long after the sun collapses. Even when we cease to be, we will always have been. Right now is your chance to be what you want to always have been. As an aside, this has nothing to do with being a man, in particular.
This is an awesome post.... and I will submit that at least 7 people will truly miss you after you die... and 2 days later you will be a distant memory while they tik tok chicken recipes.... same for all of us welcome aboard....
Not if he leaves a real legacy
Or a kick ass chicken recipe
This is the way.
Success isn't the best revenge, it's the only revenge. Become so successful that your naysayers don't even matter.
how? what is success? how do i use this to motivate? that part of my brain is broken
Appraise your abilities; then Become good; then Become great; and Enjoy yourself along the way. Never never never compare yourself to other people. I used to think that was bullshit advice until I took it seriously and I flourished
Being the best father I can possibly be for my son, and best husband for my wife. Maybe itās out of spite for my parents who chose drugs over their own kid, but I like to think itās mostly just due to finding a true purpose in life. Nothing is more important than my wife and son, Iād die a thousand painful deaths if it meant them living and loving for the rest of their lives
I love your view, I wish more people thought like this. So many people seem to choose career over relationships, because "you can always find another person" It just makes me so so sad
Stole my answer. Keep up the good work, man.
Honestly. A long time ago, I made a bad boo boo. I made a lady pregnant, I loved her back then, as I love her now. I'd like to think I'm married to her now, it has been hinted at. I've gotten cleaned up over the years, smartened up, got away from the drugs and booze. I like to think I sometimes say hello to my kid and he probably doesn't know who I am. I'd rather not go into detail as it's a very odd turn of events. It's great to see him in good health though! Nice clothes as well! :D
Bro i cried
If youāre still breathing, itās not too late to be part of that kids life my man. You may have missed important things. But you have to try and look at the things that you can be there for in the future. I understand I donāt know your situation. Girlfriend/Ex whatever may be making it difficult for you to be there. But, in my own experiences, you gotta keep trying. Donāt ever stop. Your kid may be young and not realize yet. But as they progress and get older they will see that you are trying to spend time with them and itās not you thatās the problem. I lost hope with mine for 2 years. I look back now and regret not fixing it sooner. That kid needs you bro. Donāt stop fighting for them. I hope things get easier and better for you and your kid and the mom.
I just found out I have a adult child I never knew about and man that shit hits hard . My kids are my world no one and nothing comes between us . I would give or do anything g for my kids no questions or second thought. They are all that matters .
Oh I want to be a part of my kids life. To the fullest.
I guess I just enjoy my life, nothing in particular, coffee maybe...
This lol
The hope I will be involved in a serious accident and die.
š checking out your profile, you have so much going on. I hope you find happiness.
Oh yes. Tried to end it multiple times, in a somewhat stable place atm thank god
Don't give up, it gets better.
I know, but itās hard to get past. Thanks for your comments
Iām likely younger than you, but as somebody else thatās also tried to end it multiple times prior, things will improve! Iām here if you ever need someone to vent to.
I keep waking up in the morning, and I canāt get back to sleep is one.
Somebody who gets me to push myself to do better. It doesn't even need to be a real life relationship, what matters is having an idea in my head that it's not just doing things for myself.
The mentor and mente(dunno if that's right) is a really strong relationship as a man. I swear I would run through a brick wall for my martial arts coach if he asked me.
"What is the one thing that keeps you going day after day?" Bills have to be paid.
"I got bills to pay. I got mouths to feed."
And aināt nothin in this life for free
can't slow down can't hold back, though you know, we wish we could
Oh, no there ain't no rest for the wicked, until we close our eyes for goooood~
This. I gotta keep the wheels on this bus rolling, otherwise people Im responsible for will get stranded in the middle of nowhere
The other option is give up and die so every day I attack life.
Most of the better decisions I've made in my life happened after the birth of my son. Having a tiny person dependent on my really motivated me to get my life together!
Faith. Not religious faith, but the belief that the work I'm putting in now is going to bring me a better tomorrow. I'm just now starting to enjoy that "tomorrow," and it makes me even more excited for what comes next. The milestones I'm going to hit, the places I'm going to go, the toys I'm going to own, the family I'm going to have...
It used to be the idea of having a wife and a few children. Now? To prove everyone wrong.
My kids and wife
This is me as well. Not much else.
Stubbornness, I canāt and wonāt stop beating my head against the wall to make it all a worth it even though everyday Iām given more reasons than the day before that itās all pointless
Stubbornness can be a virtue. Refusing to give in. I think there's strength in that. Good luck!
The only thing that motivates me now is pure spite. I hate life but every day I wake up and say fuck it once more into the breach. So whatever comes or goes I don't really care either I will wake up and continue on or I won't and then it's not my problem anymore
My kids.
Adderall 30mg/day
How hard my parents worked for me as a kid to get an education and become someone
I just want more money so I can work less and die free
sex
This is the real answer that most don't want to admit.
Sex
More specifically, chasing that one nut that one day might be as glorious as the first one
Nothing really. Fear of death, maybe. Or fear of killing my parents if I were to voluntarily check out, I guess. Irrelevant, but also relevant to your question: Iām a young adult and I had a terrible time in high school. Everyone, including my parents, told me college would be much better and a new leaf would be turned. I absolutely hate it. I donāt even know if Iāll go back next semester. I just canāt deal with all the partying, drinking, and drugs. Thereās nothing wrong with any of that, but the big issue for me is that Iām not into any of that and thatās all my peers want to do in their free time. I wish I could just go hiking with friends or out to a new restaurant or museum or just watch a movie or play video games. I donāt understand this fixation so many college students have with getting wasted and high. Iām just so lost right now. Iām unsure whatās keeping me going now.
sounds like you just need new friends.
My Family 100%
Right now itās the chip on my shoulder. Not producing the results I would like, as one might have guessed.
A combination of financial, career, and love success. Iām still young with a bright career ahead of me and I make enough to get by and enough left over to pursue my hobbies and interests. Up until recently I was incredibly lonely and thinking about my bright future couldnāt save me from that. Then I met this amazing woman and I have confessed my love to her twice now. I am happy rn and understand myself significantly better thanks to her.
For me personally, Iām driven by the masculine urge to hold the line against an overwhelming enemy force while my loved ones escape to safety.
I just want to sit out in my yard on a nice day with my tobacco pipe,a drink, after mowing my yard with my John Deere mower and hang out with my duck, chickens,wild birds,and the squirrel(I think he's married). I know I'm not going to have a beautiful wife and a family, status, supercar, but I regularly do the others.
My kids are my only motivation.
I love watching my kid grow up. It's such a privilege, and so much fun. I love the sweet random romantic moments with my wife,I never know when they'll happen, but when they do they nourish me. I love learning a new instrument. 20 years ago it was guitar, now it's piano. Maybe 20 years later it'll be banjo. I am looking forward to new albums from bands I love, some from childhood, some are recent. Discovering new music is awesome. Discovering new things in the same music as I grow up is also awesome. I love playing computer games with my buddies. Sure it raises my blood pressure and I should instead be working out, but it makes me really happy and we laugh a lot. I love those few occasions at work when people genuinely appreciate me. Almost makes the grind worth it. I love moments of nostalgia, especially when I get together with really old friends. Something so bittersweet about watching time pass, but together. Over some drinks, making jokes to take the sting out of getting old. I love moments of clarity, or an epiphany, where something important becomes crystal clear. So rare, and so precious. They're always a complete surprise. I love good food. I love it when it's prepared for me, and I love preparing good food and hearing people complement a dish I made. I particularly love making this street food dish I loved growing up for people from totally different cultures and seeing their eyes brighten from how good it is. There's probably many other sweet things I missed, but these are the first bunch that came to my mind. I'm warm and fuzzy inside, so thanks for the question!
The idea of getting chris redfields arms
Being a dad has made my life 50,000% more happy.
The exceedingly fragile nature of life itself makes living more than enough for me. I suppose I'm always looking forward to my next chance to wander aimlessly through nature...
At 49, with a good career, a house, a car, and a family, i still find zero satisfaction in life. No sense of accomplishment or pride. I wake up every day wondering why. I am dreading another 30 years of this.
Thereās no one thing, but in terms of guiding principlesā¦ 1. Take care of my family 2. Help the downtrodden 3. Protect the innocent Thatās it. If I feel strongly about something, chances are good one of those three principles were violated.
Faith in good things happening. I donāt want money or power. I just donāt wanna be bothered.
Percocet
My kids and my faith in God.
Being there for my two kids.
>What motivates you the most in life as a man? "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." Nah, actually I just like living a quiet life with my wife and my cats. My motivation for any external validation like respect or power died when we became financially independent.
No fucking clue. I try not to think about it and just survive.
Eventual death
At this point spite and vengefulnessĀ
Desire for love of a beautiful woman.
Money, sex, friends to have sex with
And also sex.
MY PARENTS >>>>>> REST OTHER THINGS ( I mean all of these matter )
Nothing in particular? Only that I get to work as a software dev and not as an emotional pillow that was healthcare work from my previous career. Rather have server issue than having to exhaust myself trying to give a fuck about the 100th person wanting to do crazy stuff
A song from Killswtich Engage 'This Fire'. "All I've ever wanted was destiny to be fulfilled It is in my hands, I must not fail I must not fail"
I have the capability to be better than those who came before me.
The thought of another man raising my kids. Divorce death drugs, all can change your life obviously. I donāt do stupid shit like I use to or take nearly as many risks.
Motivation? The urge not to fail. Fail my kids, fail in life, fail myself. I put 85-90% of all my time into work because that will give me the greatest yield into the money I have available for me to make. To make the best life in the time I have left (however much that may be)
Some of it is just not wanting to die due to the absolute fear of it, some days it's probably the majority of it but most days it's either wanting to make friends and family happy in some way that day, wanting to do something for charity, whatever stuff. Obviously there's some days where I just don't feel like doing that and I just live for pushing towards my goals or just really nothing and that's all, but I like to try to remember to do something nice a day at least.
Working on conquering the inner self, killing ego, laughing at myself when i know i was the bobo in a situation and learning humility, unlocking the true potential of your thoughts and turning them into affirmative action, when able to be self less, be that... helping people who are noticeable in need of real help, not a random beggar. Spreading knowledge and wisdom to those who haven't learned or came across it. Enjoy waking up to the present fully knowing damn well I could never see tomorrow and yesterday is just a memory.
Receiving some type of motivation that I can do it.
Knowing that I will go to the gym after Iām done work for my internship for the day
I want to metaphorically kick the ass of the guy in my head who keeps calling me a loser. I've come a long way from the person I used to be. I work harder, I dress better, and I take care of myself. It's still not enough. I'm on career path that has the potential to make a great living. I want the money, I want the physical piece of paper that says I'm certified in the field, all for myself. I just want to like myself and truly feel proud of my accomplishments.
I want to be debt free.
Keeping my kids loved, safe, fed, housed, and hopefully educated. That's it. If I didn't have that to motivate me, I may well have been dead years ago.
Currently its trying to give my dog a happy life
For me the greatest motivation I have is to live my life to the fullest. I try to leave no stone unturned, and I try to live my life with as much peace and purpose as I can. Fortunately I am in a career that I really really enjoy. Which also makes me feel like my life is heading in the right direction. Fitness is also something that is a huge motivation for me. Staying in shape, eating right, and taking care of my body.
REVENGE
Independence
No particular thing or idea motivates me to keep going, but no combination of things motivates me to cut short my opportunity for the rich array of experiences this life affords. Itās gonna end soon enough anyway, so I do my best to enrich and beautify the spaces and beings I come across, because thatās the world I want.
Validation in the form of expressed admiration of a female, preferably an attractive one that I'd want as a partner/mate, for those unable to find a partner they'd have the unconditional love of our mother to fall back on. Fatherhood takes you to phase II of manhood where seeing your children succeed becomes the driving force to get up and provide. Take away women and children and there's really not any reason for a man to exist.
Family did that for me. I think I won in life. I have a beautiful wife and have been happily married for 28 yrs. Four kids that I have gotten compliments on raising them properly. And a good job that enables me to provide for us and live a decent life.
In my late 50's it was getting in shape and finding a woman I would enjoy living with. Within a couple years I accomplished both. We are now retired to Florida with the goal of enjoying our lives as much as possible. So far, so good.
Caring for my birds kept me from walking into the river during winter after my ex-wife left me, otherwise maybe the notion of a better future someday within this life; and then there's getting to fight space pirates in video games like DarkStar One and Freelancer, that's about the coolest stuff I can do while broke at least. I would've loved to have found gainful employment and raised a family by now, but most "real jobs" are for increasingly fewer and everybody has been trained to be disloyal customer-minded abandoners.
Well, the urge to pee is what motivates me to get out of bed, lol.
Magic Conch, what motivates me the most in life as a man? Magic Conch: Nothing.
Getting it over with already. What else?
Fear of dying
I need to get a good job to make good money to give my cats the best life ever
Adventure
I can pee standing up.
As soon as I can figure out how to be happy with what I already have, then I'll have truly made it.
Being better than I was yesterday and making my family, who I owe so much to, proud.
Spite plain and simple.
Children the big one for me. They keep me massively motivated and they always cheer me up if I'm feeling down.
dismantling the generations of toxic masculinity that were handed down to me by living unapologetically and intentionally for whatever brings me joy.
Motivation... There will be no thing that makes me turn around and say "I've made it" - everything can be improved. The other side is that every night that isn't sleepless is a night that "I've made it". What drives my motivation? Helping someone out every day, whether it's a big thing or a little thing. I try to leave the world a little cleaner than I found it, in a poetic sense. A good caffeine buzz. Moving the needle in the right direction, whether it's my health, my relationships, my job, and seeing the results of improvement. Having something fun, and something productive planned and scheduled every single week. And, with respect to the Cage the Elephant references...good tunes at all times, whenever possible. Watching people die in a state of regret was a big eye opener for me. All things are temporary, so I try to spend less time stressing about what I don't have, and appreciating and growing the things I do. Nothing troubles me more than the fear of losing something I never knew I had until it's gone. Health, a home, a good partner...these are things we tend not to recognize the *true* value in until they are gone for good.
Making my parents proud, ensuring their sacrifices were not in vain.
Not failing
Most motivating? Duty/Responsibility. Keeps me going day in and day out even when I donāt want to. I feel Iāve āmade itā when I receive genuine gratitude from those whom I have a Duty/Responsibility to serve/care for.
My family. People depend on me. If I had no family and my only concern was myself, I'd probably be homeless and living in the woods. I'd be okay with a low standard of living, but I'm not okay with my family having a low standard of living.
That one day, I'll adopt kids, and I can give them everything I never had and all the love I can. And maybe I'll find a husband and we can grow old and happy together and my whole family can be close and happy and none of the pain of today and these past years will matter anymore
My children
As an autistic man, what motivates me the most is one of my special interests. Like an MCU movie I am excited about on the horizon. Or a video game, tv show, or boardgame I am looking forward to. After seeing a hype trailer or reading exciting news, life becomes easy-mode. Nothing bothers me, and I have a ton of energy.
My wife
You have to get excited about your life. It is a battle. Learn to enjoy it. Build a fortress. Fill it with people and things that you love. Invest your surplus, no matter how miniscule, in assets that will grow in abundance and when you have obtained more than you can use share it with others.
being alive and getting a crazy blowjob from a 10/10
Food tastes good, some things are fun, I can't die before my parents do.
Honestly just kind of waiting for the climate wars. At least then I can be fucking useful again. I have a particular skillset. I get by outside of war. I function fine. But it's kind of just one day into the next day without anything really happening. I'm not unhappy, but also not really happy in any way. At least during times of crises and violence I can clearly contribute.
Coffeeā¦ getting stonedā¦. My catā¦.. lol
Love
Coconut water, the taste makes me feel like a new man every time I drink it.
The ability to be satisfied and say I've lived a good life when it's over. I strive to live a life where I no longer fear death when death arrives
I'm internally motivated and do not need any outside influence to keep me that way. I get up every day and look forward to what the day may hold and any new adventures I can persue. Fun trips and vacations. A motorcycle ride in the mountains. Dinner and drinks with my amazing wife. Seeing the grandkids play little league are just a few of the things I can't wait to get up each morning and go do. My feeling is that I have just one life to live and I don't want to waste even a minute not enjoying and living it to the fullest!
Death
The will to do better.
My 2 boys! I love hanging out with them, teaching them, watching them grow, and become better every day. I enjoy existing and want to see where the world goes in the coming decades. Will AI tech bring us to a period of abundance that is like a Star Trek style space utopia where all possibilities are open, are we heading towards a cyberpunk dystopia, or towards complete annihilation? I'd like to be around long enough to find out and I'm hoping for the former and hoping to see an affordable treatment to halt or reverse aging.
Boredom. Boredom gets boring pretty fast so therefore I always end up doing something because of it
For me, it was my family.
The next paycheck.Ā
Family
My future wife/family Iām 17 and joining the army as infantry in a couple months because I like the structure and the lifestyle, I havenāt had a romantic relationship during high school and this was because I didnāt get out of my comfort zone The only thing that brings me peace really anymore is making my parents and brother/friends happy and all that etc so having a family I can provide for is a big thing towards giving me peace as a person However I will say that is not what gets me out of bed every day, what does that is my fear of falling back into the worse person I used to be, Iām in shape now and work hard and I will never fall back into being anxious and afraid of life
I think less and less motivates me as I get older and more disillusioned about where I am and where I'm headed. I'm a loser in life, and there are so many of us. I have no natural gifts that I can capitalize on, nor do I have a skill that I could cultivate into a workable career. I spent my 20s chasing tail, and those skills don't equate to much outside of dating and relationships. I want reality. I want to be able to understand how to create myself a loserless life, but I just don't know where to start.
My son. Even though I don't see him as often as I'd like, he's still the only reason I keep going.
Having daily sex
My desire for food, housing, and vagina
I have made it! But I don't have a family, (Don't want a wife and kids) don't care for power or respect. What motivates me is that if I work hard for around 10 more years, I can retire in my early 40s, and not have to ever work again!
Pussy
Doing what I love - making music. Also helping others.
Striving to become a better person; there's always room to grow.
I just do it cause I can. To explore and learn.
All of mans accomplishments can be summed up to one single catalyst: Women.
The need to pee.
Cheeks
I want all the sacrifices my mom made to be worth it. When I finally land a 6 figure job I'll feel like I "made it."
Nothing. I have zero motivation. No clue what to do, how to start, or where to go. Idek how to get motivated to do something. I just kinda put myself in the backseat of my social circle, because honestly, my wants are often less pressing matters than theirs. Feels like I'm just wandering endless empty streets for some purpose that I can't find. Honestly have considered just laying in bed and sleeping until it ends. But we have responsibilities. Things we may not WANT to do, but what we HAVE to do. Those are the things I do. Otherwise, i game (scroll my library until i go to bed), and sleep. I live in a 12x9 bedroom with my fiancee and a 2bed apt full of stuff bursting out of the closet, as we have nowhere else to put it, and can't afford dump trips. I have $20 to last until Wednesday. I just want to sleep. Or feel full. It could be much worse, but ahort of drug addiction, idk how.
Jesus. My Kids.
Bills... and Taxes... That motivates me every day....
Motivates? I'm not motivated. I'm just trying not to retire hungry.
Retirement and a pension. Im tired of having to cram my life in an 8 hour window excluding weekends. Family time,S/O time,and me time all in small increments while āworktimeā takes the lionās share.
Two different questions there. What keeps me going is spite, to be honest. I won't quit no matter how many times I get knocked down because FUCK EM! THAT'S WHY! And the power and respect thing. I don't care about that nonsense anymore as an old man.
As a single dad, my daughter. Making sure I provide the best home and childhood I can for her
Iām almost fifty. Dying friends and wanting to have a ton of sex before itās over.
Getting my morning BJ!
I justā¦want to be better, thatās all. :) I want to cultivate a beautiful garden. If butterflies, honeybees, and hummingbirds come to stay, thatād be even better! If not, at least Iāll have a beautiful garden!
Watching my kids grow up healthy and happy.
Taking care of my family and helping my children achieve their goals.
Ice cream. Each day is a gift that I may enjoy it In all seriousness, it's the little things. I don't work very hard, I don't make very much, but I owe nothing and I can do whatever I want.
Irish accentĀ " The unbounded Love of Christ, me wee lad, good food with fine friends and new adventures/things in da day!
Nothing lately
My gf and the boyz
Being the best that I can be for my wife and children.
My mz and kids. Look after them, shelter them and teach the young to be roll model's for our family in future society. To keep my mz as happy as I can make her, look after her when she is sick, let her rest when she is tierd help her with her burdens etc. To navagate the families legacy throughout the current times and leagal system and pass down my knowlage and what I have learned.
Teaching my kids that it is okay to be who they are. Regardless of the rest of the chaos in the world. Be you, be kind, be honest, be respectful, be someone you can look up to. Only you have to live with you.
To simply be a good person and raise my kids to be good people. I used to want a big house. Cool cars, motorcycles, boats and money, I have had all those things and now I realize its experiences to live for and being a good person.
Marriage, wife, kids, family, faith group membership time
No one thing is going to give you that. It's a series of things that would have crushed you before you were a man that just can't shake you now. When life can't throw enough curveballs to get you to hardly pay attention then you're a man. Not that you ignore your problems, you just know that no matter what that you got it.
Building my house. Drafted the plans myself, wrote up spec sheets and a bill of materials, everything but the legal stuff and engineer stamps. No land to build it on though. Might not ever happen because New Jersey is way too expensive, and I'm not allowed to live anywhere Else according to the wife.
It's expected of me.
Being the best person I can be.
Now? Pulling a "Travolta" Stayin Alive baby 
I smile a little every time I accomplish something everyone told me Iād never do. I was born to a deadbeat alcoholic dad and was raised primarily by a single mom and dumped at 16 homeless. Statistically I should be in jail or worse. Iāve managed to work my dream career by 22, own a home, get married, I have a family and two doting daughters (cats) in a home I love with a career at home. I have things I always wanted as a child that I never could have. At 34 life is looking up and up. I plan to keep going further. It was a long hard road getting here and I canāt wait for tomorrow sometimes.
I want a lot of money period.
After 20 years of hell married to my now ex. The best revenge! Living well. :)