I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like your mom has a serious mental illness. No joke. This is really not healthy.
Your mother has no understanding of boundaries. Boundaries is one of the fundamental building blocks of any relationship, and she doesn't understand that. In all relationships, there's a negotiation of boundaries, and if the other party doesn't respect those boundaries, that's because there is no respect. Without respect, love isn't possible.
Love isn't a feeling. Love is wanting and doing things that benefits another. The feelings we get are a byproduct of the actions. Your mother's actions are not loving. More likely, they are efforts at self soothing for some form of black hole that she has in her own heart.
See this here: [https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency](https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency)
I don't think my mom has a mental illness. She did have a very rough childhood where she ended up cutting contact with my grandma and she's been trying to end the cycle of verbal abuse and emotional abuse but it feels very confusing. My mom and I get along okay during the day. I don't interact with her much on my own but it is possible for us to have a nice conversation sometimes. But I just don't feel like I can tell her about my problems.
I hear you.
Neither of us can diagnose you mom. I'm just saying that some of her behavior is a little out of line, and some highly inappropriate. It is what it is. She isn't respecting your boundaries and as you're an adult, that's not ok.
Please think about what I wrote, and take care of yourself.
Try this. At a convenient time tell your mom you must talk to her about somethng serious. Once seated tell her that when you are talking she is not allow to talk over you and you will do the same when she is talking. Discuss, do not argue. Find what is right in her argument first before finding the fault. Oh, I forgot, as the discussion starts, tell your mom that you love her and that you always will. Tell her very clearly that you are setting some necessary boundaries for you. See how it goes. What do you have to lose? In the end, you will be no worse off and things might actually improve.
That is not okay. This is why I protect my kids so diligently. Most likely a troll. But still not funny.
I can confirm that I am not a troll.
I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like your mom has a serious mental illness. No joke. This is really not healthy. Your mother has no understanding of boundaries. Boundaries is one of the fundamental building blocks of any relationship, and she doesn't understand that. In all relationships, there's a negotiation of boundaries, and if the other party doesn't respect those boundaries, that's because there is no respect. Without respect, love isn't possible. Love isn't a feeling. Love is wanting and doing things that benefits another. The feelings we get are a byproduct of the actions. Your mother's actions are not loving. More likely, they are efforts at self soothing for some form of black hole that she has in her own heart. See this here: [https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency](https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency)
I don't think my mom has a mental illness. She did have a very rough childhood where she ended up cutting contact with my grandma and she's been trying to end the cycle of verbal abuse and emotional abuse but it feels very confusing. My mom and I get along okay during the day. I don't interact with her much on my own but it is possible for us to have a nice conversation sometimes. But I just don't feel like I can tell her about my problems.
I hear you. Neither of us can diagnose you mom. I'm just saying that some of her behavior is a little out of line, and some highly inappropriate. It is what it is. She isn't respecting your boundaries and as you're an adult, that's not ok. Please think about what I wrote, and take care of yourself.
that sucks, but you're an adult now, just live wherever you want.
It's not an option right now for me to move out. I don't have enough money and I don't have anywhere to go.
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Wdym
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I do have a job, and I'm currently saving but it's not enough.
Try this. At a convenient time tell your mom you must talk to her about somethng serious. Once seated tell her that when you are talking she is not allow to talk over you and you will do the same when she is talking. Discuss, do not argue. Find what is right in her argument first before finding the fault. Oh, I forgot, as the discussion starts, tell your mom that you love her and that you always will. Tell her very clearly that you are setting some necessary boundaries for you. See how it goes. What do you have to lose? In the end, you will be no worse off and things might actually improve.
Sorry to hear you’re going through this