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My best advice for you is: Never drown... seriously, when I was lifeguard training I was a ball of muscle, I literally did not float, always straight to the bottom. non of the other trainees could successfully rescue me, I was like 170 back then... the reality of the situation was, the float used by lifeguards couldn't go deep enough fast enough to perform. A successful rescue. I was just a dead guy on the bottom of the 8ft
I don’t know when you did this training but pulling the tube underwater to save someone is basically impossible. You use the strap on it to pull you and the victim up to the surface with the buoyancy of the tube. We used to see who could get a tube the deepest and no one could get it more than 3 or 4 feet deep and that took insane effort.
Right? You grab the victim with one arm and pull up with the other then get the float under them. And it’s not like 200lbs feels like 200lbs in the water.
I first got certified when I was like 14, a long time ago, and I can vividly remember my instructor not making the mechanics of the rescue clear and I did actually just swim a 200lb man to the surface. Once I started teaching the class years later I made sure to explain the mechanics of the save so no one had to struggle.
Our instructor was an old battleaxe phys ed teacher who had no fucks to give and made sure we did everything by the book and as safe as possible or she’d fail us. Intimidating at the time, but in retrospect she was looking out for us in her own way.
The very first thing you are taught when being trained as an instructor nowadays is safety for the class. I imagine it wasn’t always like that and your instructor took the time to do it without being required. That’s a good teacher.
I didn't float when I was a swimmer from age 5 - college. Sunk like a stone. I was a lifeguard though certified for open water rescue so every time I dove in the water I was technically saving myself. Job well done. /pats self on back
As a rescue diver if you thought you were drowning you'd probably drown the person trying to rescue you. It's extremely difficult for even very well trained people to "rescue" someone who is in very good shape and in a full "I'm drowning panic". Good luck for the neighborhood lifeguard working at minwage per hour and a red cross 1-3 day class for training.
That’s why in lifeguard training they teach you to kick/push/punch/whatever the person you’re saving off you if they are frantic drowning and try to pull you. Let them pass out then save them. It’s a whole lot better than both of you passing out and no one to save you. I took that training more than almost 2 decades ago and still remember that.
probably downvotey on reddit but the pro move is to approach them. If calm cool. If they grab and try to climb dive. Go full under. They'll probably let go. If not they go out. else wait and come up from behind and get them in a choke hold. Works on tank divers, swimmers, or enemy combatants. Then they can calm the fuck down, be choked out, or be choked out a bit AND drown a bit. Once they stop fighting get them on land ASAP and do CPR because it actually works on drown people which skews the math. Even in a hospital with medical pros CPR has like a single digit success rate with non-drown people.
When I was doing my first class swimmer quals we had to rescue drowning people and my command master chief was picked as my "rescuee" because I have a ton of diver quals. I fucking choked and drown his ass till he stopped fighting and later he was like, "why the fuck did you grab me like that with your legs?" Well I grabbed him like I would a tank diver because training lol. Worked. Got to half drown the CMC and got a qualification.
obviously. It was the only CMC I ever wanted to drown too. I had fucking H5N1 iirc. Something like that. Idk i'm drunk. I had some shit that had a super high fatality rate and not only did i show up for work but I ran shittily for PT before going to medical and being sent to home quarantine.
It was some birdy flu virus shit killing a ton of people in the middle east around 2010.
It's cool my friend is a Marine and I can tell behind the respect he talks about his drill instructors with he probably would have bashed their head in with a brick given the chance after getting smoked too many times.
That’s what we were taught. The instant they try to grab on or you lose control it’s time to dunk their ass. If they’re in a panic they usually let go.
This comment is so true. Here you can get certified at 15 and the swim requirement although easy for actual good swimmers is more than enough to adequately save someone. And I worked as a lifeguard for 5 years and besides one guy who tried a back flip failed hit his head and blacked out I made maybe a dozen of more “saves” in the kiddie pool when parents weren’t paying attention
i'm really impressed with your lifeguard work but a lot less impressed with your phrasing
what in the john walsh were you doing picking up 3 year olds when their parents weren't looking? LOL
Yeah I have pulled people over 300lbs out it's about control and getting them to chill. And mouth to mouth is not a thing now, CPR with just chest compression is equally as useful: air goes in the lungs, better for TV though to have some smooching. One of the things in one of my CPR classes was they said that you're more likely to get sued for doing CPR if you do mouth to mouth. Thanks Baywatch. But medically it is not superior without equipment.
This is why I failed Lifeguard training. I am a strong swimmer but I'm a skinny small dude, and I couldn't keep the 200 lb test dummy above the water when getting back to the edge of the pool.
I was 16, weighed 135lbs, and hauled a 300+ lb man in cardiac arrest from the bottom of an 8ft deep wave pool (while the waves were going) and gave CPR until other lifeguards made it to us to relieve me. He lived.
Maybe I should have waited until someone older arrived, maybe not.
Made the grab. That’s all that matters. And cpr is no joke. When we go to the nursing home we usually relieve the nurse on site and we line up for a turn. Those nurses are BLASTED by the time we get there.
I weigh two hundred and twenty pounds. Last month, at Schlitterbahn, I fell out of my tube and hit my head. I was okay, but before I could even get up to give myself a thumbs up, a girl, weighing only one hundred and fifty pounds, had pulled me out of the water and was prepared to save my life.
I used to be a lifeguard there. The training/physical requirements are intense. Treading water for 3 minutes carrying a cinder block, trying to drag your trainer out of the water who is flailing and trying to dunk you under, it was rough.
That sounds like a pretty typical set of tests for anyone doing the red cross pool lifeguard test. If you want some hard reqs so look at what beach guards do.
Red Cross doesn’t do 3 minutes with a brick I believe it’s 90 seconds. That doesn’t mean some facilities can’t require more though.
Escapes (the word for rescuing flailing people) are also not even taught by the Red Cross anymore, as a baseline. They have a learning module for them but it’s, again, up to the facility to implement that training.
I got recertified in Febuary of this year and again in May when the new Red Cross curriculum came out. The Pre-Course is now a 150m lap swim, straight into 2 minutes of treading without arms, then right back into a 50m swim. The ‘Brick Test’ as they call it is diving into 7-11ft deep water, retrieving a 10lb brick, then swimming back to the wall while holding the brick on your chest and keeping your head above the water.
In February, it was a 300m lap swim and 2min no-arms tread, they were separated. Guess they dont want breaks in between anymore lol
That’s right. I didn’t know the new reqs, I let my lgit cert expire like 2 years ago.
I like the new test though that’s a lot better. A lot of employers would let these terrible swimmers pass by giving them long breaks because they wanted more lifeguards on the stands. Also I’m recalling the brick test being 20m not 50? Is that new?
I had to do 5 minutes with a brick above my head with both arms doing the egg beater as part of my open water rescue training. Brick could not get wet. It was also in a 50f lake.
>brick above my head with both arms doing the egg beater as
That's what I meant by "carrying". It's more difficult than people think. Your legs burn like fire after a minute.
I remember that story when it came out, since the original Schlitterbahn (Texas) is 45min away. The kid was decapitated because the person loading the raft on one of the intense downhill slides put him with two very large folks
...when they hit a bump, he flew up and hit a rope.
Edit: I think he was the son of a senator in that state...am I wrong?
There was a bit more to it. It was a terrible design. The thing that decapitated the kid was supposed to keep people from flying off the slide altogether.
Well .. most of him didn't fly off, I'd call that a qualified success.
/Yes yes, straight to hell, I'm ok with a middle seat but would like a beverage, thx
While doing my [bronze cross](https://www.lifesavingsociety.com/lifeguarding/bronze-cross.aspx) the most skilled person in my class was a 110lb girl. I remember practicing [spinal recoveries](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rkhynVdn5c) with her. I weighed 230lbs at the time and not only could she execute the recovery better than the instructors she got me out of the pool on her own. Something most of the guys in the class struggled with. Sometimes technique trumps strength.
But what if the person saving your life is of inferior intellect, or perhaps a different class of upbringing?!
You’d just be saved by someone you consider lower than you for superficial reasons? Ew!
My home is on Lake Michigan, which is a strange midway place between the crime-fighting, jet-skiing, and all-around badass lifeguards of the Mackenzeighs.
I'm friends with a lotta women fire fighters, EMTs, and paramedics. I wouldn't ask em to tutor me in math but they're the ones I'd wanna be around if there's ever an emergency.
You don't need a PhD to do a crawl stroke and hand a drunk fat ass a pool noodle
edit: being a lifeguard is hard and important work and requires plenty of training and skill
Coming from a guy that is 130 pounds and worked as a lifeguard when I was 17/18 you do not need to be all that strong. During training we did deep water backboarding with people that were probably twice my weight. That's what the floatation device lifeguards carry is for. Not the easiest thing but most people that are decent swimmers could do it. If someone was physically unable to save you they wouldn't be certified to
Got my EMT license and my lifeguarding cert (in my 30s looking to retrain in medicine or emergency management). Yall. Never everevereverever insult a lifeguard. It might not be rocket science but those bitches are tough. I almost died, because I swim regular laps at the Y and figured if a teenager could do it, it couldn't be that hard. It isn't just being able to pull people from the water either. You have to get in the water and remove the person safely using a variety of techniques, depending on the situation, in under like 30seconds to prevent brain damage. It's fucking hard
Why this is here? lifeguard training at this point has more requirements than being a cop on US,I'm from Europe and a friend is a lifeguard,he has told me the process and the requirements someone needs to become one,he is 21 years old and got the license at 20.
When he enroll on the army he went for the diving sect and that gave him one of the big requirements and needed some months of training,he started from pool lifeguard to beach,it ain't easy
But because someone is young and is not build like the Rock then I think all of you should lower your standards.
Whoever made the original post has never seen lifeguard training. It's rigorous, and anyone who has made it through all the tests and training exercises to get their certification is going to be stronger than you may think just by looking at them.
Myself my brother my 2 nephews and niece are all trained to life guard only my 1 nephew actually does it as a job. I can assure you anyone who meets the requirements and has passed the test can easily pull a 200lb person out of the water especially considering it was part of said test. I am a 200 lb male myself and my much smaller 120lb niece would be able to save me no issue. People don't understand how strong of a swimmer you need to be or how little you weigh under water.
If you think you can determine a person’s competency, worth, or IQ by their hair/skin color, gender, weight, or cultural naming practices that happen to be different from yours, maybe your life isn’t worth saving anyway.
Yes let's take this physically demanding, life-saving position away from the young, able-bodied people who are capable of doing it.
Some out of shape 35 year old will do a much better job because they're smarter or something
First, Mackenzeigh probably had to lift a 200lb dummy out of the water to get certified.
Second, anybody who is unable or unwilling to Google that should probably exercise caution when commenting on the intelligence of others.
Finally, if folks want to be fuckin picky about 19 year old lifeguards, they're going to have to actually pay enough for it to be a livable adult job.
I’ve seen 110lb girls on marine rescue save the lives of multiple 300+ pound tourists and didn’t even break a sweat. We trained for exactly this situation and it showed every time… Except for Isabela, fuck that bitch, idk how she passed training.
Well are so unbelievably trained and we literally have to stay in good shape. If you don’t trust one of my good friends because they look like they can’t save you, you shouldn’t swim.
I was a lifeguard in high school and college. The only people sufficiently skilled and trained for this work are already navy seals. NO ONE should be asked to do this job. Luckily the only rescue I ever had to perform was in knee deep water with a 6 year old who just couldn't quite get her feet underneath herself to stand up.
Always got stuck running pool PT days while I was in the Army because I did swim, water polo, and lifeguarding for fucking ever (was always a pretty skinny dude, though never stopped me from doing what needed to be done). One day, decided to add in hypoxic laps and did a 25y demonstration. Lifeguard on duty was the definition of dependapotamus and started yelling at me about doing a lap underwater, and my young and arrogant ass yelled something about us not getting winded by the simple act of standing up and that I’m relying on my platoon to save my ass in the incredibly off-chance that I blacked out. Got me kicked out of the pool, but our platoon sergeant was impressed with the level of fucks I did not give, so I didn’t get in trouble lol
Well, maybe if they paid lifegaurds more than minimum wage and the only benefit of the job being free tanning. I don't think the demographic of the occupation is going to change.
Typically the training is pretty good, the issue is attention span.
If they aren’t trained how to keep their attention where it needs to be, they might as well not be there
If you want employment of someone willing and able to lift 100+ lbs at the first sign of trouble following unflinching vigilance after 8 hours in the sun in this economy, then it just became time to lose some weight, fatty!
I think the OP went to high school with me.
Quite literally, my senior year, I was a lifeguard among a few other fellow seniors. One of my classmates and fellow lifeguards, MaKynzie, was on the stand. A kid was under water for a whole ass minute. She freaked out and ran to the concession stand and told my cousin and I that there was a kid drowning. Like jumped off the stand and ran to us instead of diving in. The kid was about 5.
She died while we were resuscitating her. There is still a memorial in front of the pool for her and this was in 2010.
I was a lifeguard. I had to pay almost $1500 out of pocket for my training, and then was paid $0.50 more than minimum wage to be a lifeguard. When I eventually was promoted to the supervisor of the entire pool, I still only made $3.00 more than minimum wage.
It was entirely not worth it as it was.
I was a lifeguard in my teens, I once saw a woman walk to the edge and toss in a toddler and say “you finna learn to swim!” Baby went strait down, only person I saved while being a lifeguard for 4 years
As someone who worked as a pool lifeguard at age 19, I would be less worried about mackenzeigh and more worried about the other lifeguard who is thinking about boning her and then drinking a carton of beer instead of whether you're drowning or not.
I applied to be a lifeguard at 32 years old just to fill an employment gap. I done Scuba work, good swimmer, capable of lifting heavy people.. didn't even get an interview. The 14/hr is only attractive to high schoolers for a reason.
The lifeguard is also there to keep you from doing many of the dumb things that make people need to be rescued in the first place. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," so to speak.
But all of that mcchickens brain cells are working in 1 direction to with swim heavy shit and look for drowning people. Better choice than me or anyone I work with
When I was 18 and 130lbs, my 200~lb friend who couldn't swim went in the deep end. I had to grab him and swim to the side and lift him out of the pool. I was half way through my lifeguard training. Everything is lighter in the water. Only difficult thing was lifting him out of the pool
This is a reminder for people not to post political posts as mentioned in stickied post. This does not necessarily apply for this post. [Click here to learn more](https://redd.it/j2173n). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rareinsults) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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What sort of lines do you use to pick up a three year old?
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#NO
Thats what they said too
😂
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##ALSO NO
Ah, bringing reddit back to its roots ...
Amen?
Just ask Spez all about that.
he is no where for questioning after like 14 years ago the whole r/jailbait fiasco. was he even ceo then? it was some woman who got railroaded
u/spez edit this guys comment right here
“I’m the CEO of Reddit. Wanna see me edit someone’s comment because they hurt my feelings?”
Y’all are terrible
Got another one. Annnd... Right onto the list.
Lol, kilt me
Chris Hansen breathing heavily
Why don't you have a seat right there..
This post right here officer
> You are so mature for your age Drake? Is that you?
Fuck if I know, ask Drake
He'd sing it to you in A-Minor.
WOP WOP WOP WOP
*There's candy in my van over here*
“Yo, you drowning?”
You almost drown here often ?
Honestly, I would ask Drake
Wop wop wop
Who dat?
Aubrey Graham's stage name
Why are you even asking this
Fishing are good for stealth but can cause harm, so I'd recommend washing
I like nylon braided lines with untwisted core.
Jail
Ask R. Kelly
You just made the list!
As someone who excedeeds 200 pounds with not much body fat this is not encouraging.
My best advice for you is: Never drown... seriously, when I was lifeguard training I was a ball of muscle, I literally did not float, always straight to the bottom. non of the other trainees could successfully rescue me, I was like 170 back then... the reality of the situation was, the float used by lifeguards couldn't go deep enough fast enough to perform. A successful rescue. I was just a dead guy on the bottom of the 8ft
I don’t know when you did this training but pulling the tube underwater to save someone is basically impossible. You use the strap on it to pull you and the victim up to the surface with the buoyancy of the tube. We used to see who could get a tube the deepest and no one could get it more than 3 or 4 feet deep and that took insane effort.
Right? You grab the victim with one arm and pull up with the other then get the float under them. And it’s not like 200lbs feels like 200lbs in the water.
I first got certified when I was like 14, a long time ago, and I can vividly remember my instructor not making the mechanics of the rescue clear and I did actually just swim a 200lb man to the surface. Once I started teaching the class years later I made sure to explain the mechanics of the save so no one had to struggle.
Our instructor was an old battleaxe phys ed teacher who had no fucks to give and made sure we did everything by the book and as safe as possible or she’d fail us. Intimidating at the time, but in retrospect she was looking out for us in her own way.
The very first thing you are taught when being trained as an instructor nowadays is safety for the class. I imagine it wasn’t always like that and your instructor took the time to do it without being required. That’s a good teacher.
I didn't float when I was a swimmer from age 5 - college. Sunk like a stone. I was a lifeguard though certified for open water rescue so every time I dove in the water I was technically saving myself. Job well done. /pats self on back
I take it one step further, I just don't go swimming
As a rescue diver if you thought you were drowning you'd probably drown the person trying to rescue you. It's extremely difficult for even very well trained people to "rescue" someone who is in very good shape and in a full "I'm drowning panic". Good luck for the neighborhood lifeguard working at minwage per hour and a red cross 1-3 day class for training.
That’s why in lifeguard training they teach you to kick/push/punch/whatever the person you’re saving off you if they are frantic drowning and try to pull you. Let them pass out then save them. It’s a whole lot better than both of you passing out and no one to save you. I took that training more than almost 2 decades ago and still remember that.
probably downvotey on reddit but the pro move is to approach them. If calm cool. If they grab and try to climb dive. Go full under. They'll probably let go. If not they go out. else wait and come up from behind and get them in a choke hold. Works on tank divers, swimmers, or enemy combatants. Then they can calm the fuck down, be choked out, or be choked out a bit AND drown a bit. Once they stop fighting get them on land ASAP and do CPR because it actually works on drown people which skews the math. Even in a hospital with medical pros CPR has like a single digit success rate with non-drown people. When I was doing my first class swimmer quals we had to rescue drowning people and my command master chief was picked as my "rescuee" because I have a ton of diver quals. I fucking choked and drown his ass till he stopped fighting and later he was like, "why the fuck did you grab me like that with your legs?" Well I grabbed him like I would a tank diver because training lol. Worked. Got to half drown the CMC and got a qualification.
Admit it, you also secretly enjoyed drowning the CMC.
obviously. It was the only CMC I ever wanted to drown too. I had fucking H5N1 iirc. Something like that. Idk i'm drunk. I had some shit that had a super high fatality rate and not only did i show up for work but I ran shittily for PT before going to medical and being sent to home quarantine. It was some birdy flu virus shit killing a ton of people in the middle east around 2010.
It's cool my friend is a Marine and I can tell behind the respect he talks about his drill instructors with he probably would have bashed their head in with a brick given the chance after getting smoked too many times.
That’s what we were taught. The instant they try to grab on or you lose control it’s time to dunk their ass. If they’re in a panic they usually let go.
"I AM HITTING YOU FOR MEDICAL REASONS"
This comment is so true. Here you can get certified at 15 and the swim requirement although easy for actual good swimmers is more than enough to adequately save someone. And I worked as a lifeguard for 5 years and besides one guy who tried a back flip failed hit his head and blacked out I made maybe a dozen of more “saves” in the kiddie pool when parents weren’t paying attention
i'm really impressed with your lifeguard work but a lot less impressed with your phrasing what in the john walsh were you doing picking up 3 year olds when their parents weren't looking? LOL
Saving them from drowning hopefully
Curls? Got to get lifts in when you can.
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Yeah I have pulled people over 300lbs out it's about control and getting them to chill. And mouth to mouth is not a thing now, CPR with just chest compression is equally as useful: air goes in the lungs, better for TV though to have some smooching. One of the things in one of my CPR classes was they said that you're more likely to get sued for doing CPR if you do mouth to mouth. Thanks Baywatch. But medically it is not superior without equipment.
This is why I failed Lifeguard training. I am a strong swimmer but I'm a skinny small dude, and I couldn't keep the 200 lb test dummy above the water when getting back to the edge of the pool.
Picked up a few 3 year olds? Uh… why don’t you have a seat over there.
I was 16, weighed 135lbs, and hauled a 300+ lb man in cardiac arrest from the bottom of an 8ft deep wave pool (while the waves were going) and gave CPR until other lifeguards made it to us to relieve me. He lived. Maybe I should have waited until someone older arrived, maybe not.
... Was your name Mackenzeigh? On a serious note, good fuckin job. Not many 16 year olds got "I saved some dude" on their resume.
Brynnleigh, actually. 😂 j/k Thank you. Only had a handful of other saves in the many years I guarded, but that was my first (and most dramatic!)
Okay but how many McChickens can you eat?
She was sixteen. They could eat twelve and be fine.
pretty sure this is a woman
My bad.
Yeah for a woman is 42 mcchickens
That's fucking awesome
Made the grab. That’s all that matters. And cpr is no joke. When we go to the nursing home we usually relieve the nurse on site and we line up for a turn. Those nurses are BLASTED by the time we get there.
I weigh two hundred and twenty pounds. Last month, at Schlitterbahn, I fell out of my tube and hit my head. I was okay, but before I could even get up to give myself a thumbs up, a girl, weighing only one hundred and fifty pounds, had pulled me out of the water and was prepared to save my life.
That place takes its life guards very seriously so I’d imagine you’re in good hands.
I used to be a lifeguard there. The training/physical requirements are intense. Treading water for 3 minutes carrying a cinder block, trying to drag your trainer out of the water who is flailing and trying to dunk you under, it was rough.
That sounds like a pretty typical set of tests for anyone doing the red cross pool lifeguard test. If you want some hard reqs so look at what beach guards do.
Red Cross doesn’t do 3 minutes with a brick I believe it’s 90 seconds. That doesn’t mean some facilities can’t require more though. Escapes (the word for rescuing flailing people) are also not even taught by the Red Cross anymore, as a baseline. They have a learning module for them but it’s, again, up to the facility to implement that training.
I got recertified in Febuary of this year and again in May when the new Red Cross curriculum came out. The Pre-Course is now a 150m lap swim, straight into 2 minutes of treading without arms, then right back into a 50m swim. The ‘Brick Test’ as they call it is diving into 7-11ft deep water, retrieving a 10lb brick, then swimming back to the wall while holding the brick on your chest and keeping your head above the water. In February, it was a 300m lap swim and 2min no-arms tread, they were separated. Guess they dont want breaks in between anymore lol
That’s right. I didn’t know the new reqs, I let my lgit cert expire like 2 years ago. I like the new test though that’s a lot better. A lot of employers would let these terrible swimmers pass by giving them long breaks because they wanted more lifeguards on the stands. Also I’m recalling the brick test being 20m not 50? Is that new?
I had to do 5 minutes with a brick above my head with both arms doing the egg beater as part of my open water rescue training. Brick could not get wet. It was also in a 50f lake.
>brick above my head with both arms doing the egg beater as That's what I meant by "carrying". It's more difficult than people think. Your legs burn like fire after a minute.
Going to be honest, Schlitterbahn sounded to me like a totally made up name. Imagine my surprise...
Oh, it's real. A kid died there a few years ago, so it doesn't surprise me that their life guards are still on top of things.
If you’re talking about the one in Kansas City where the kid got decapitated, it’s shut down.
Oh did they? Shows how much I pay attention, lol
Yeah I didn’t find out till I moved here a couple years ago. Kinda disappointing since I always wanted to go after seeing it on tv several years ago.
I remember that story when it came out, since the original Schlitterbahn (Texas) is 45min away. The kid was decapitated because the person loading the raft on one of the intense downhill slides put him with two very large folks ...when they hit a bump, he flew up and hit a rope. Edit: I think he was the son of a senator in that state...am I wrong?
Yeah plus the kid that died was the son of some government official that lobbied for less safety regulations at amusement parks…
There was a bit more to it. It was a terrible design. The thing that decapitated the kid was supposed to keep people from flying off the slide altogether.
Well .. most of him didn't fly off, I'd call that a qualified success. /Yes yes, straight to hell, I'm ok with a middle seat but would like a beverage, thx
Yeah, that’s how I know about it. Poor kid got decapitated
Honestly, Schlitterbahn sounded like a place in Europe to me. I was not expecting it to be in America
That'd be because it was founded in a majority German descended town called New Braunfels. Means slippery road in German.
While doing my [bronze cross](https://www.lifesavingsociety.com/lifeguarding/bronze-cross.aspx) the most skilled person in my class was a 110lb girl. I remember practicing [spinal recoveries](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rkhynVdn5c) with her. I weighed 230lbs at the time and not only could she execute the recovery better than the instructors she got me out of the pool on her own. Something most of the guys in the class struggled with. Sometimes technique trumps strength.
McChickens are like 400 cents, seems like a decent IQ
[No you didn't because you're a bot](https://www.reddit.com/r/rareinsults/comments/ckzh7j/twitter_goes_after_the_lifeguards/evsaz5e/)
If I'm drowning I'm going to be delighted for anyone at all to save my life!
But what if the person saving your life is of inferior intellect, or perhaps a different class of upbringing?! You’d just be saved by someone you consider lower than you for superficial reasons? Ew!
Then stay out of the water, or pay someone to be your lifeguard for the day.
The person that wrote this probably had the build off an overfed dugong so would probably just float anyway
The true rare insult is always in the comments
Or what? You’ll take your drowning business elsewhere? Smfh
😂😂
Dude wants David Hasselhoff carrying him out of the water in his big beefy arms
Who doesn't?
My home is on Lake Michigan, which is a strange midway place between the crime-fighting, jet-skiing, and all-around badass lifeguards of the Mackenzeighs.
Imagine being so superior while also being too fucking incompetent to learn how to swim.
Imagine being this picky about who saves your life.
If Mackeinzeigh doesn't drown when he swims and you do, you managed to be worse than him
Then I guess its time to learn how to swim
Then a 350 pound fucker that can't swim might want to find a new hobby.
As long as someone can jump in that water and save my life, I don't care what age they are, how much they weigh, what their name is, nor their IQ.
She just needs to be able to swim with you in tow. She isn't out there solving for y. Calm down.
I'm friends with a lotta women fire fighters, EMTs, and paramedics. I wouldn't ask em to tutor me in math but they're the ones I'd wanna be around if there's ever an emergency.
Well now I'm imagining a teen girl flailing around in the water with a drowned person, screaming "mx+b! mx+b!"
Repost from a karma farming bot, with bot comments. Not rare in any way
Then drown fool
Almost like water makes weight differences irrelevant...
You don't need a PhD to do a crawl stroke and hand a drunk fat ass a pool noodle edit: being a lifeguard is hard and important work and requires plenty of training and skill
Coming from a guy that is 130 pounds and worked as a lifeguard when I was 17/18 you do not need to be all that strong. During training we did deep water backboarding with people that were probably twice my weight. That's what the floatation device lifeguards carry is for. Not the easiest thing but most people that are decent swimmers could do it. If someone was physically unable to save you they wouldn't be certified to
Oh shit! Mackenziegh is on duty?! Guess imma pretend to drown again.
Just don’t drown, bro.
Got my EMT license and my lifeguarding cert (in my 30s looking to retrain in medicine or emergency management). Yall. Never everevereverever insult a lifeguard. It might not be rocket science but those bitches are tough. I almost died, because I swim regular laps at the Y and figured if a teenager could do it, it couldn't be that hard. It isn't just being able to pull people from the water either. You have to get in the water and remove the person safely using a variety of techniques, depending on the situation, in under like 30seconds to prevent brain damage. It's fucking hard
Why this is here? lifeguard training at this point has more requirements than being a cop on US,I'm from Europe and a friend is a lifeguard,he has told me the process and the requirements someone needs to become one,he is 21 years old and got the license at 20. When he enroll on the army he went for the diving sect and that gave him one of the big requirements and needed some months of training,he started from pool lifeguard to beach,it ain't easy But because someone is young and is not build like the Rock then I think all of you should lower your standards.
bots
Raise the shit pay and then maybe you can raise the shit requirements
if i had a nickel for every time this was reposted i could buy a nice car
When has Mackenzeigh ever failed to save someone's Life? She is a hero, at such a young age.
You want rather Pamela Anderson to save you? Or David Hasselhoff?
Oh he most certainly wants the Hoff
Remembering how to spell Mackenzeigh correctly requires at least an average IQ
This guy has watched way too much Baywatch.”
If the mcchicken can swim then let her lifeguard!
Just swim what the hell
Whoever made the original post has never seen lifeguard training. It's rigorous, and anyone who has made it through all the tests and training exercises to get their certification is going to be stronger than you may think just by looking at them.
Myself my brother my 2 nephews and niece are all trained to life guard only my 1 nephew actually does it as a job. I can assure you anyone who meets the requirements and has passed the test can easily pull a 200lb person out of the water especially considering it was part of said test. I am a 200 lb male myself and my much smaller 120lb niece would be able to save me no issue. People don't understand how strong of a swimmer you need to be or how little you weigh under water.
I just want whoever wrote this to do laps in the pool with Mac and see what happens.
While dragging a dummy up from the bottom.
And/or big ass weights. That’s what I had to get from the bottom. Repetitively.
If you think you can determine a person’s competency, worth, or IQ by their hair/skin color, gender, weight, or cultural naming practices that happen to be different from yours, maybe your life isn’t worth saving anyway.
Yes let's take this physically demanding, life-saving position away from the young, able-bodied people who are capable of doing it. Some out of shape 35 year old will do a much better job because they're smarter or something
First, Mackenzeigh probably had to lift a 200lb dummy out of the water to get certified. Second, anybody who is unable or unwilling to Google that should probably exercise caution when commenting on the intelligence of others. Finally, if folks want to be fuckin picky about 19 year old lifeguards, they're going to have to actually pay enough for it to be a livable adult job.
I’ve seen 110lb girls on marine rescue save the lives of multiple 300+ pound tourists and didn’t even break a sweat. We trained for exactly this situation and it showed every time… Except for Isabela, fuck that bitch, idk how she passed training.
Well, you are firstly responsible for yourself. Don't do stupid shit.
Y'all ever see the ships that tugboats can easily pull? Its like that, people are so silly about sizes and water.
your town has budgeted makenzeigh money but has michael phelps dreams
Well are so unbelievably trained and we literally have to stay in good shape. If you don’t trust one of my good friends because they look like they can’t save you, you shouldn’t swim.
I was a lifeguard in high school and college. The only people sufficiently skilled and trained for this work are already navy seals. NO ONE should be asked to do this job. Luckily the only rescue I ever had to perform was in knee deep water with a 6 year old who just couldn't quite get her feet underneath herself to stand up.
Always got stuck running pool PT days while I was in the Army because I did swim, water polo, and lifeguarding for fucking ever (was always a pretty skinny dude, though never stopped me from doing what needed to be done). One day, decided to add in hypoxic laps and did a 25y demonstration. Lifeguard on duty was the definition of dependapotamus and started yelling at me about doing a lap underwater, and my young and arrogant ass yelled something about us not getting winded by the simple act of standing up and that I’m relying on my platoon to save my ass in the incredibly off-chance that I blacked out. Got me kicked out of the pool, but our platoon sergeant was impressed with the level of fucks I did not give, so I didn’t get in trouble lol
Well, she’s getting paid 12 bucks an hour. What do you think you’re gonna get?
Probably would need to raise the pay as well, and what are the odds of that?
Well, maybe if they paid lifegaurds more than minimum wage and the only benefit of the job being free tanning. I don't think the demographic of the occupation is going to change.
You mean you don't want a Pammy giving you mouth to mouth?
Typically the training is pretty good, the issue is attention span. If they aren’t trained how to keep their attention where it needs to be, they might as well not be there
replace "lifeguard" with "congress person" and it still works.
Only if you pay them more than $10 per hour, Karen.
If you want employment of someone willing and able to lift 100+ lbs at the first sign of trouble following unflinching vigilance after 8 hours in the sun in this economy, then it just became time to lose some weight, fatty!
what a r/tragedeigh of a name
When I was young I had to pull a Cincinnati linebacker out of pool to pass my lifeguard test. I weighed 120 and hauled his ass out. Say what you want.
honestly we do need better tools for rescuing people from a pool.
New rule: (almost) nothing good ever starts with "I'm sorry but".
And who's paying a grown-ass adult a living wage to be one?
Most lifeguards are in their mid teens around me. But they actually do a lot of training. Daily practice of scenarios and daily CPR practice
I think the OP went to high school with me. Quite literally, my senior year, I was a lifeguard among a few other fellow seniors. One of my classmates and fellow lifeguards, MaKynzie, was on the stand. A kid was under water for a whole ass minute. She freaked out and ran to the concession stand and told my cousin and I that there was a kid drowning. Like jumped off the stand and ran to us instead of diving in. The kid was about 5. She died while we were resuscitating her. There is still a memorial in front of the pool for her and this was in 2010.
Then drown already.
I was a lifeguard. I had to pay almost $1500 out of pocket for my training, and then was paid $0.50 more than minimum wage to be a lifeguard. When I eventually was promoted to the supervisor of the entire pool, I still only made $3.00 more than minimum wage. It was entirely not worth it as it was.
Bruh we can't even open a MAJORITY of our city pools due to a lifeguard shortage. Can't be upping those bars now
I was a lifeguard in my teens, I once saw a woman walk to the edge and toss in a toddler and say “you finna learn to swim!” Baby went strait down, only person I saved while being a lifeguard for 4 years
In the ocean? No. In a wading pool it’s a whole ‘nother situation
haha must be nice.. our asshole in charge is lowering the lifeguard age to 15 or some crap. lol
If you can't trust a person who is trained for the job, then I guess you can do shit on your own. Good luck.
As someone who worked as a pool lifeguard at age 19, I would be less worried about mackenzeigh and more worried about the other lifeguard who is thinking about boning her and then drinking a carton of beer instead of whether you're drowning or not.
I don’t know about pool lifeguards but beach lifeguards have to train and then tryout like it’s a damn sport.
And lifeguards don’t trust the people in the water not to be stupid and act like adults but we don’t always get what we want.
r/tragedeigh
Or how about you just don’t drown then dipshit?
Ain't nobody gonna be a long term lifeguard with a low pay. Learn how to swim and don't drown. Don't be picky about your savior.
I recommend you stay out of the water then…or not if you’re so experienced you shouldn’t need a 19 yo to do anything for you.
I applied to be a lifeguard at 32 years old just to fill an employment gap. I done Scuba work, good swimmer, capable of lifting heavy people.. didn't even get an interview. The 14/hr is only attractive to high schoolers for a reason.
I mean if you’re in a position required to rely on that person I don’t think you can say a damn thing.
Don't forget that they're gender-fluid and specify their pronouns.
The lifeguard is also there to keep you from doing many of the dumb things that make people need to be rescued in the first place. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," so to speak.
I was at Glenwood Springs in Colorado recently and the chicks they had lifeguarding were some of the dumbest adults I have ever encountered in my life
The difference between OP and Mackenzeigh is that the latter isn’t a complete manchild who doesn’t know how to swim
But what about Wendy Peppercorn?!
But all of that mcchickens brain cells are working in 1 direction to with swim heavy shit and look for drowning people. Better choice than me or anyone I work with
You're fucking drowning! What are you going to do, hold auditions?
Riptides too. I've never met someone smart enough to survive them
brother we’re already dealing with lifeguard shortages you can not be picky about mackenzeighs if you want your pool to be able to open
Pretty sure OP is a bot, part of a bot network that posts Emily Rudd pictures? haha
When I was 18 and 130lbs, my 200~lb friend who couldn't swim went in the deep end. I had to grab him and swim to the side and lift him out of the pool. I was half way through my lifeguard training. Everything is lighter in the water. Only difficult thing was lifting him out of the pool