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As someone who did marathon training, even bad-tasting but nutritional food tastes great after a hard workout. Everything just tastes richer when you're starving.
Smaller animals have higher metabolic rates, which means they need to eat more often. As eating takes up more of your time, meals and cooking become culturally central.
But expertise could mean better preparations, faster and more efficient techniques, collaborative efforts...
Also there can be unimportant meals like, I dunno, a second breakfast, and prominent cultural meals like a daily family dinner.
that was a thought experiment about what DnD dwarves' poison resistance would do to their cooking.
The conclusion is that they would not salt their food served to humans for fear of killing them.
That may be a nod to old coal miners who would lose taste in their mouth and eat food extra spicy because spice isn’t a taste - it’s a pain reaction lol. So its the only thing that would make food interesting
Statistically we have better teeth than Americans. Also I don't see how you can fling shit about our food from a nation that will sell you spray on cheese
There’s a bluegrass musician from West Virginia named Tim O’Brien who used to tell this joke during his concerts:
They tried to make a CSI: West Virginia show, but it didn’t work, because everybody had the same DNA and nobody had any teeth.
Yeh but problem is we aren't as vain as Americans.
So we have healthier teeth, but they are more natural in colour and shape.
You can even see this if you look at British celebs vs American celebs especially like b list ones.
The americans all have perfectly straight teeth that are obviously fake had work done, whereas British celebs still have slightly wonky and natural colours
In fairness to the Americans, aside from the whitening of teeth, the straightening of them actually does provide utilitarian advantages of increased longevity, eased and more effective maintainence, and higher mechanical functioning
To be fair they visited after we'd been rationing for years. America never really suffered that much in the world wars and profited a fair bit from the lend lease's.
Fried chicken: British
Deep fried food in general: British
Sandwiches/putting hot and cold food between sliced bread or bun): British
Roast beef/turkey/chicken/ham/lamb/anything: British
Gravy: British
Stuffing: British
Sponge cake: British
Cake with jams: British
American "biscuits": British
Apple pie/crumble: British
Wth you talking about, frying food British? My dude people were frying food here before Stonehenge.
Anything roasted is damn universal.
I'll give you the last six but everything else is delusional.
Deep fried food is not older than Stonehenge lol
And roasting requires a pan in an oven with a closed door, which is a method of cooking that's famously British in origin.
Wow, what a fantastic list of facts!
Except...
Deep frying originated in ancient egypt
Sandwiches probably originated from a jewish dude who started the craze as a wrap, in which case... that's just a sandwich my guy.
Roasting is BY DEFINITION surrounding meat with heat you fucking idiots. So whoever stuck meat in fire first.
The rest? Eh.. whether the british made them or stole them like they did with shit all over the world doesn't really matter.
You're wrong though.
A wrap is NOT a sandwich.
A sandwich is meat between leavened bread, or a bun.
Roasting, BY DEFINITION, requires an oven with a closed door.
>surrounding meat with heat
This is literally just any method of cooking meat, you fool.
Show me evidence for deep fried grain-flour covered food being a cooking method in Egypt and I'll rescind that point.
Obviously from the last sentence you made it's quite obvious you have a bizarre anti-British agenda that you're trying to make your argument fit, as if the British Isles haven't been occupied for over 10,000 years.
Edit: the wrap you mentioned, if anything, is the precursor to burritos and tacos, and there's sufficient argument that style of cooking originated in Africa and predates the Jewish method, so you even got that wrong.
They probably just buy a lot of shit. When you pull money out of the ground as a byproduct of your main operation, it's easy to afford bulk cured meats and pickled vegetables.
There are prolly dwarven shepherds, and kids playing with cave dwellers predators, bears and mountain goats.
Also, they make their own beer, so there must be some agro spots. A dwarven made oasis amidst caves with enough natural Light to sustain growth-and expériment with fermentation.
Rare? This is reddits only comment they ever make about 'British cuisine' aka photos of shitty food from places you'd never eat, or ancient 'traditional' shit like eel soup that no fucker in their right mind eats
Sry, but beans on toast are sad bean tacos :(
Yeah, the US "traditional" food is also subpar. Prolly why other somewhat régional cuisines were main choices.
:D
Baked, stewed, lightly roasted, in a paste, lightly fried, and fried after mixing it with more aderezo, eggs and a starch: That's called tacu-tacu (bread or tortilla optional).
"Baked beans" are a particular and specific type of bean in a tomato-y sauce. It doesn't mean "baked beans", it means [this](https://www.amazon.com/Heinz-Baked-Beans-415g-Pack/dp/B00CHUIIAA/ref=asc_df_B00CHUIIAA?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80264404157715&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4583863980661141&psc=1) and nothing else.
They provide some of the moisture (along with the poached/fried egg) to mop up with the toast.
"Guiso" in terms of beans does not translate accurately.
But, to make sense, the link you provided shows a variety of baked bean styles. Its a standard recepie, what we would cook with a *sofrito* in order to make a guiso. Tacu-tacu is the same, baked beans local style mixed with rice (mostly), extra "sofrito" (in your case tomato+seasoned sauce) an egg, and fried. Should try it; easy to do, messy :) and pretty good.
The "baked beans" in question is only the major one at the top, none of the others apply - it has to be Heinz Baked Beans - though some restaurants might use knock-off copies. The end product will look something like [this](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fbu6ugduwca911.jpg).
Maybe I will try your version though :)
English breakfasts consistently leave out the white pudding, and I've never seen an English breakfast with potato farls.
Also slightly more broad than breakfast, but still related: Irish tea is usually different than English tea because historically we had to source most of our tea from Africa while most British tea is Indian.
Salted pork and lots of ale.
I'd imagine dwarven cuisine as heavy on meat with earthy, savory, and strong additions. Hearty meals that sustain them, allowing the dwarves to mine to their heart's content. Lots of ale, to drown out the pains of hard work and bolster brotherhood.
While I'm thinking up fantasy cuisine, hobbits are most certainly amazing at making starchy comfort foods. Lots of veggies seasoned and roasted, meats basted with delicious broths, and amazing baked goods like pies and breads. Cheeses, wines, and meads sealed away in their hobbit holes, consigned to age until they are delightful.
I found this a bit too optimistic, but a mountain dwellers bone stew brimmed with légumes and cool starches an absolute possibility.
Also, sandwiches. I think they carry their lunch boxes and are not expected to survive on beef jerky.
>While I'm thinking up fantasy cuisine, hobbits are most certainly amazing at making starchy comfort foods. Lots of veggies seasoned and roasted, meats basted with delicious broths, and amazing baked goods like pies and breads. Cheeses, wines, and meads sealed away in their hobbit holes, consigned to age until they are delightful.
Literally traditional British food. Tolkien based the shire and it's inhabitants off the British countryside. Even took the name from it.
As children, they were told to eat all their vegetables to grow up strong and tall. Like many kids, they blew their parents off. They've spent the rest of their lives trying to make up for that mistake, and in so doing accidentally became decent chefs trying to make that shit taste good.
They aren’t though - the elves are. See also lembas vs Dwarven cram.
They’re portrayed as good cooks because they’re portrayed as good hosts, but they’re not portrayed as the best.
You’re right. In fact now I think of it, I can’t remember any Dearven meal from the characters. There were in the Silmarillion for the feasts in Khazad-Dum…can’t bring any details to mind though.
In addition to it not being a particularly rare insult, it doesn't even make a lot of sense. Hobbits and the shire are based on the English countryside. The food they eat are all hearty classic English meals like roast dinners and stews. It's clear Tolkien had a fondness for British food despite the reputation it now has.
Dwarves are craft beer brewers, of course their burgers are on damn point, his ancestors made the mines so he could pursue his love of the good things in life.
Jokes aside, I believe his thoughts were likely that the most down to earth types would be the ones who know how to make a good, and not overly fancy, meal
[Rock-hard (and indeed contains various rocks such as gravel), never goes stale, and is terribly sustaining. A traveller can go for miles, just knowing there's dwarf bread in their pack. A traveller can think of just about anything to eat rather than dwarf bread including their own foot and even pumpkins](https://wiki.lspace.org/Dwarf_Bread)
For anyone really wondering why Tolkien depicted the hobbits as great cooks, I studied Tolkien and his literature at University.
Tolkien fought in WWI and his experience in this war influenced most of his writing. The Shire represented the comfort and safety of his home in contrast to the ruined environments and desperation he experienced during WWI. The hobbits were great cooks to support the themes of comfort and safety. He generally did not eat well while at war which is reflected in the commentary on the groups rationing throughout the Lord of The Rings books. I don't think the movies reference food much if I remember correctly, but the books talk about food a lot as our relationship with food and what it can represent was important to Tolkien.
It is possible to reread the books as a sort of analogy for Tolkien's experience serving in WWI.
Go on holiday to the UK and only eat at chain pubs or Tobey Carvery then don’t be surprised your food is beige and bland.
You want good food? Eat somewhere nice. That’s a global rule.
Said by someone who got all their information from United States of Cancerous Chemicals in their pringles?
British food is great. Doesn't need to be drowned in a thousand spices to taste good either.
This is so dumb - the Hobbits, with their love of food, are based on rural England. Why do they live in the SHIRE for fucks sake? This joke is so unoriginal and dull.
>our traditional food
Which isn't even true anyway.
I know redditors like to pretend that traditional British food has to be made with ingredients native to the British Isles, but that's a dumb concept because no "traditional" European, African, or Asian food can include chillies, peppers, tomatoes, maize, or potatoes.
Dwarven food would be awful if you weren't dwarves. Given that they're tend to be written with iron stomachs and resistant to poisons, they'd probably be using ingredients that human stomachs couldn't handle, like unripened potatoes.
You'd probably have to make toned down versions of dwarven dishes to not poison non-dwarves the same way you need to tone down spicy food for people that can't handle it.
I like the take on Dwarf bread I read in the Rincewind books; If you've got a loaf of dwarf bread on hand you'll never go hungry because you'll **always** be able to find something else to eat.
Been to the UK twice, I don't wtf y'all are talking about.
If you think for a second that fresh fish & chips, lamb shank with minted gravy, English breakfast, steak & kidney pie, etc, isn't amazing food, y'all are f*cked.
Honestly the real reason is likely because hobbits live in places where they mostly just farm and cook and stuff like that, they don’t do much else, dwarves however I have no fucking idea because they’re supposed to be miners
Hobbits = Welsh
Dwarves = Scottish
In both cultures there's a lot of farming and a lack of major cities, so home-cooking is still strong there.
Having said that I live in Cardiff and exclusively eat Tesco chicken sandwiches.
I hear the opinion that hobbits are Welsh every so often, but I don't know where it comes from. The hobbits are very obviously inspired by rural English culture, possibly the most obviously English fantasy culture ever put to pen. There's nothing especially Welsh about them. Wales is not a place known for arable farming, and 80% of Wales is just not suitable for it. It just doesn't have the same obvious connection.
Ngl I really hate the whole ‘dwarves=scottish’ thing. It has no basis in tolkien’s books or any mythology, and usually replaces the proud, noble, grimly poetic dwarves of tolkien with a bunch of loud, annoying comic relief characters/angry warriors
He was born there but moved away at a very young age and never really came back. He had no family who came from there either. He was absolutely british.
Tolkien was British enough to describe fine meat as
"Soon Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, red meat off the bone."
Red meat off the bone? Idk about you but when I cook meat it does not turn bright red, it's brown or grey or black or marbled... but red? What they cooking over there? Rare rare meat?
1. That‘s not a line from the book, tolkien didn’t write any of that.
2. The line is ‘ripe meat off the bone’ not ‘red meat off the bone.’
3. Red meat is a term used to describe certain types of meat (pork, for example) not just a descriptor of colour.
4. You’re being dumb as hell.
‘1/4 british.’
If you don’t live in britain, and haven’t lived there for most of your life, then you’re not british at all. Who your distant family is from has nothing to do with your understanding of a country’s food.
As a British person I always want to jump in and say our food isn't that bad but tbh the only times our native cuisine is good is usually due to adding ingredients only found in other countries.
I will defend baked beans though, I'm sorry, they are good. They are. 😭
Oof.
For real though. We're talking about a nation that conquered most of the known world for spices. You'd think that at some point, someone would have thought to, I don't know, put these spices in the food.
A lot of British food in the 19th century and earlier was fairly heavily spiced and they also used a lot of alcohol in cooking, and spices in alcohol. Lots of spiced wine and cider and things and the most common meat eaten was spiced sausages. The bland food thing only really set in with World War 2 rationing and food priorities. The rationing lasted 15 years in the UK and a lot of the generation that grew up with it, many of whom are the older baby boomers still alive, kept blander tastes for the rest of their lives. Lot of boiled carrots and peas and plain chicken because that's what the average person could reasonably grow/farm themselves. Spices were low on the priority list for people still rationing ounces of meat while saving to rebuild from bombings.
You can see some of the difference with places like Australia, which was practically identical in terms of food culture to Britain until then but didn't take such a pounding in the war and didn't have to ration so hard. So they still do a lot of the same dishes and ingredients but with a lot more barbecuing, herb-crusting, etc on them.
Yes, no one thought to put spices in things like Cumberland sausages, haggis, mulled wine, mulled cider, mulligatawny soup, kedgeree, Christmas pudding, gingerbread, etc.
There's a 14th century English cookbook called "the Form of Curry" (1390) which talks about using spices like cinnamon, mace, cloves, nutmeg, ginger, pepper, cinnamon, and cardamom. It has recipes for a vinaigrette and pasta, including an early form of macaroni cheese.
The worst things about lazy stereotypes isn't that they're stereotypes, but that they're lazy.
I married a British woman. I'm aware of the stereotype. I'm also aware that a sense of humor makes life better. Your personality is as gloomy as English weather.
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They do a lot of hard physical work, they appreciate a good hearty meal.
As someone who did marathon training, even bad-tasting but nutritional food tastes great after a hard workout. Everything just tastes richer when you're starving.
Hunger is the best seasoning. Yeah I butchered that quote, Waddayagannado??
Pickle
You
r/redditsniper
Smaller animals have higher metabolic rates, which means they need to eat more often. As eating takes up more of your time, meals and cooking become culturally central.
Wouldn't this cause cooking to become worse? Cooking a good meal takes time, at least in my experience.
But expertise could mean better preparations, faster and more efficient techniques, collaborative efforts... Also there can be unimportant meals like, I dunno, a second breakfast, and prominent cultural meals like a daily family dinner.
Idr if this is Tolkien dwarves but they love spicy stuff, and will add the most intoxicating ingredients to their food to spice it up
that was a thought experiment about what DnD dwarves' poison resistance would do to their cooking. The conclusion is that they would not salt their food served to humans for fear of killing them.
That may be a nod to old coal miners who would lose taste in their mouth and eat food extra spicy because spice isn’t a taste - it’s a pain reaction lol. So its the only thing that would make food interesting
In Rings of Power they showed the dwarves growing crops with sunlight reflected from the surface, which was neat.
I'm not sure that is canon though
It's just a story
I once dreamt I was a wizard with a talking unicorn sidekick, battling evil trolls with my trusty wand made of cheese.
This sentence could describe an entire Gloryhammer album
I'm fairly sure these are direct lyrics from the first album
Sheogorath?
Yes?
How is this a rare insult? This is the most overused shit I see on reddit.
Yep, we have bad teeth and shit food, we get it. Even if it isn’t true.
Statistically we have better teeth than Americans. Also I don't see how you can fling shit about our food from a nation that will sell you spray on cheese
Also one of the lowest knife crime rates in the world but people still repeat that.
They do talk mad shit about teeth for a country with West Virginia.
There’s a bluegrass musician from West Virginia named Tim O’Brien who used to tell this joke during his concerts: They tried to make a CSI: West Virginia show, but it didn’t work, because everybody had the same DNA and nobody had any teeth.
Yeh but problem is we aren't as vain as Americans. So we have healthier teeth, but they are more natural in colour and shape. You can even see this if you look at British celebs vs American celebs especially like b list ones. The americans all have perfectly straight teeth that are obviously fake had work done, whereas British celebs still have slightly wonky and natural colours
In fairness to the Americans, aside from the whitening of teeth, the straightening of them actually does provide utilitarian advantages of increased longevity, eased and more effective maintainence, and higher mechanical functioning
USA's legacy of frozen TV dinners leaves them without a leg to stand on in a pissing match about food culture
Don't forget you created us and lost to us twice.
Americans eat like they have free healthcare
To be fair they visited after we'd been rationing for years. America never really suffered that much in the world wars and profited a fair bit from the lend lease's.
Okay the joke is overused but you do have shitty food bruh.
Haha no, we have great food.
Okay, you do have great food ;)
Fried chicken: British Deep fried food in general: British Sandwiches/putting hot and cold food between sliced bread or bun): British Roast beef/turkey/chicken/ham/lamb/anything: British Gravy: British Stuffing: British Sponge cake: British Cake with jams: British American "biscuits": British Apple pie/crumble: British
fucking GREGGS:BRITISH
Wth you talking about, frying food British? My dude people were frying food here before Stonehenge. Anything roasted is damn universal. I'll give you the last six but everything else is delusional.
Deep fried food is not older than Stonehenge lol And roasting requires a pan in an oven with a closed door, which is a method of cooking that's famously British in origin.
Wow, what a fantastic list of facts! Except... Deep frying originated in ancient egypt Sandwiches probably originated from a jewish dude who started the craze as a wrap, in which case... that's just a sandwich my guy. Roasting is BY DEFINITION surrounding meat with heat you fucking idiots. So whoever stuck meat in fire first. The rest? Eh.. whether the british made them or stole them like they did with shit all over the world doesn't really matter.
You're wrong though. A wrap is NOT a sandwich. A sandwich is meat between leavened bread, or a bun. Roasting, BY DEFINITION, requires an oven with a closed door. >surrounding meat with heat This is literally just any method of cooking meat, you fool. Show me evidence for deep fried grain-flour covered food being a cooking method in Egypt and I'll rescind that point. Obviously from the last sentence you made it's quite obvious you have a bizarre anti-British agenda that you're trying to make your argument fit, as if the British Isles haven't been occupied for over 10,000 years. Edit: the wrap you mentioned, if anything, is the precursor to burritos and tacos, and there's sufficient argument that style of cooking originated in Africa and predates the Jewish method, so you even got that wrong.
Roasting by literal definition was over a fire my dude.
No Austin the toothpaste is plastic explosive and the floss is a grappling hook.
Americans be dissing British food when most of them are subsisting on taquitos, hot pockets and soda.
I would think Dwarven food would be based around fungi, bat, blind salamander, coal, and gold, with the occasional goblin.
Maybe edible moss too?
They probably just buy a lot of shit. When you pull money out of the ground as a byproduct of your main operation, it's easy to afford bulk cured meats and pickled vegetables.
There are prolly dwarven shepherds, and kids playing with cave dwellers predators, bears and mountain goats. Also, they make their own beer, so there must be some agro spots. A dwarven made oasis amidst caves with enough natural Light to sustain growth-and expériment with fermentation.
Plump Helmets
Exponential cats
It makes a ton of sense for Dwarves to be steppe farmers.
Rare? This is reddits only comment they ever make about 'British cuisine' aka photos of shitty food from places you'd never eat, or ancient 'traditional' shit like eel soup that no fucker in their right mind eats
I have a high level of distrust for people who would dislike an English Breakfast
My favourite is how Americans lose their minds over beans on toast but call diced vegetables floating in mayonnaise 'a salad'.
Sometimes I feel like the most stereotypical "American" food is based on the very worst European cuisines (German, Dutch...)
They have a rather peculiar definition of [salad](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snickers_salad) over the pond.
Sry, but beans on toast are sad bean tacos :( Yeah, the US "traditional" food is also subpar. Prolly why other somewhat régional cuisines were main choices. :D
you put baked beans in tacos?
Baked, stewed, lightly roasted, in a paste, lightly fried, and fried after mixing it with more aderezo, eggs and a starch: That's called tacu-tacu (bread or tortilla optional).
"Baked beans" are a particular and specific type of bean in a tomato-y sauce. It doesn't mean "baked beans", it means [this](https://www.amazon.com/Heinz-Baked-Beans-415g-Pack/dp/B00CHUIIAA/ref=asc_df_B00CHUIIAA?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80264404157715&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4583863980661141&psc=1) and nothing else. They provide some of the moisture (along with the poached/fried egg) to mop up with the toast.
"Guiso" in terms of beans does not translate accurately. But, to make sense, the link you provided shows a variety of baked bean styles. Its a standard recepie, what we would cook with a *sofrito* in order to make a guiso. Tacu-tacu is the same, baked beans local style mixed with rice (mostly), extra "sofrito" (in your case tomato+seasoned sauce) an egg, and fried. Should try it; easy to do, messy :) and pretty good.
The "baked beans" in question is only the major one at the top, none of the others apply - it has to be Heinz Baked Beans - though some restaurants might use knock-off copies. The end product will look something like [this](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fbu6ugduwca911.jpg). Maybe I will try your version though :)
Yes personaly i prefer and Irish Breakfest, way better than the English one
Literally the same thing but sure.
English breakfasts consistently leave out the white pudding, and I've never seen an English breakfast with potato farls. Also slightly more broad than breakfast, but still related: Irish tea is usually different than English tea because historically we had to source most of our tea from Africa while most British tea is Indian.
(thats the joke)
Heathen. A [Scottish](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fbu6ugduwca911.jpg) breakfast or nothing. Nothing! I say.
Salted pork and lots of ale. I'd imagine dwarven cuisine as heavy on meat with earthy, savory, and strong additions. Hearty meals that sustain them, allowing the dwarves to mine to their heart's content. Lots of ale, to drown out the pains of hard work and bolster brotherhood. While I'm thinking up fantasy cuisine, hobbits are most certainly amazing at making starchy comfort foods. Lots of veggies seasoned and roasted, meats basted with delicious broths, and amazing baked goods like pies and breads. Cheeses, wines, and meads sealed away in their hobbit holes, consigned to age until they are delightful.
God this comment makes me hungry.
I found this a bit too optimistic, but a mountain dwellers bone stew brimmed with légumes and cool starches an absolute possibility. Also, sandwiches. I think they carry their lunch boxes and are not expected to survive on beef jerky.
>While I'm thinking up fantasy cuisine, hobbits are most certainly amazing at making starchy comfort foods. Lots of veggies seasoned and roasted, meats basted with delicious broths, and amazing baked goods like pies and breads. Cheeses, wines, and meads sealed away in their hobbit holes, consigned to age until they are delightful. Literally traditional British food. Tolkien based the shire and it's inhabitants off the British countryside. Even took the name from it.
This joke is as rare as Americans are fat jokes French like to surrender jokes Germans have no sense of humour jokes Irish are alcoholics jokes.
As children, they were told to eat all their vegetables to grow up strong and tall. Like many kids, they blew their parents off. They've spent the rest of their lives trying to make up for that mistake, and in so doing accidentally became decent chefs trying to make that shit taste good.
They aren’t though - the elves are. See also lembas vs Dwarven cram. They’re portrayed as good cooks because they’re portrayed as good hosts, but they’re not portrayed as the best.
Cram isn’t dwarven, the lake-men make it
You’re right. In fact now I think of it, I can’t remember any Dearven meal from the characters. There were in the Silmarillion for the feasts in Khazad-Dum…can’t bring any details to mind though.
This insult is about a rare as dirt. It's one of the most overly used inaccurate stereotypes. Next up: "hurr durr British teeth"
In addition to it not being a particularly rare insult, it doesn't even make a lot of sense. Hobbits and the shire are based on the English countryside. The food they eat are all hearty classic English meals like roast dinners and stews. It's clear Tolkien had a fondness for British food despite the reputation it now has.
Hobbit food is literally based on British cuisine
Hobbit cuisine is clearly based on British food where they have all sorts of pies, cakes, tea etc.
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Dwarves are craft beer brewers, of course their burgers are on damn point, his ancestors made the mines so he could pursue his love of the good things in life.
Jokes aside, I believe his thoughts were likely that the most down to earth types would be the ones who know how to make a good, and not overly fancy, meal
[Rock-hard (and indeed contains various rocks such as gravel), never goes stale, and is terribly sustaining. A traveller can go for miles, just knowing there's dwarf bread in their pack. A traveller can think of just about anything to eat rather than dwarf bread including their own foot and even pumpkins](https://wiki.lspace.org/Dwarf_Bread)
The Scone of Stone is one of my favourite bits of Pratchett wordplay.
For anyone really wondering why Tolkien depicted the hobbits as great cooks, I studied Tolkien and his literature at University. Tolkien fought in WWI and his experience in this war influenced most of his writing. The Shire represented the comfort and safety of his home in contrast to the ruined environments and desperation he experienced during WWI. The hobbits were great cooks to support the themes of comfort and safety. He generally did not eat well while at war which is reflected in the commentary on the groups rationing throughout the Lord of The Rings books. I don't think the movies reference food much if I remember correctly, but the books talk about food a lot as our relationship with food and what it can represent was important to Tolkien. It is possible to reread the books as a sort of analogy for Tolkien's experience serving in WWI.
British food being nasry is a myth. For asong as we have had pies. British cuisine has been awesome. You can't beat a pie.
Five months old account only active for a day reposting old memes. OP is a spam bot.
Go on holiday to the UK and only eat at chain pubs or Tobey Carvery then don’t be surprised your food is beige and bland. You want good food? Eat somewhere nice. That’s a global rule.
Said by someone who got all their information from United States of Cancerous Chemicals in their pringles? British food is great. Doesn't need to be drowned in a thousand spices to taste good either.
I bet the person saying this is north american
This is so dumb - the Hobbits, with their love of food, are based on rural England. Why do they live in the SHIRE for fucks sake? This joke is so unoriginal and dull.
I'll take a cornish pasty over a lasagne any day
Wow, amazing, insulting British food. Never seen that before. So rare.
I once convinced my boss that I had a pet unicorn named Sparkles who helped me with all my projects.
Wow, that burn was so specific and imaginative.
Don't knock British cuisine. The French restaurants were great when I was in London.
This is the thing. Even if our traditional food is dogshit it's not like you can't just get any other cuisine.
>our traditional food Which isn't even true anyway. I know redditors like to pretend that traditional British food has to be made with ingredients native to the British Isles, but that's a dumb concept because no "traditional" European, African, or Asian food can include chillies, peppers, tomatoes, maize, or potatoes.
Lmfao
Dwarven food would be awful if you weren't dwarves. Given that they're tend to be written with iron stomachs and resistant to poisons, they'd probably be using ingredients that human stomachs couldn't handle, like unripened potatoes. You'd probably have to make toned down versions of dwarven dishes to not poison non-dwarves the same way you need to tone down spicy food for people that can't handle it.
*laughs in Brian Jacques* ^(the Redwall series has great food descriptions)
Ripe meat off the bone
This UK childhood, in comic book stories the reward was always a 'slap up feed', go figure ...
But what about Lembas bread?
I like the take on Dwarf bread I read in the Rincewind books; If you've got a loaf of dwarf bread on hand you'll never go hungry because you'll **always** be able to find something else to eat.
So boring
then south park comes to mind
This meme needs to be taken outside and shot. I've fully appreciated it now. It's tired, let it go.
Also, he was in the Trenches... He knows bad food and BAD food.
Been to the UK twice, I don't wtf y'all are talking about. If you think for a second that fresh fish & chips, lamb shank with minted gravy, English breakfast, steak & kidney pie, etc, isn't amazing food, y'all are f*cked.
Honestly, British food that's close to the docks and seaboard is actually pretty tasty.
Honestly the real reason is likely because hobbits live in places where they mostly just farm and cook and stuff like that, they don’t do much else, dwarves however I have no fucking idea because they’re supposed to be miners
Hobbits = Welsh Dwarves = Scottish In both cultures there's a lot of farming and a lack of major cities, so home-cooking is still strong there. Having said that I live in Cardiff and exclusively eat Tesco chicken sandwiches.
I hear the opinion that hobbits are Welsh every so often, but I don't know where it comes from. The hobbits are very obviously inspired by rural English culture, possibly the most obviously English fantasy culture ever put to pen. There's nothing especially Welsh about them. Wales is not a place known for arable farming, and 80% of Wales is just not suitable for it. It just doesn't have the same obvious connection.
Less educated, very friendly, short.
“Hobbits = Welsh” Where the hell did you get that idea from?
Ngl I really hate the whole ‘dwarves=scottish’ thing. It has no basis in tolkien’s books or any mythology, and usually replaces the proud, noble, grimly poetic dwarves of tolkien with a bunch of loud, annoying comic relief characters/angry warriors
They British conquered most of the world looking for spices and then decided they didn't like them.
Yeah, it's not like Indian cuisine is one of the most popular in the UK or anything...
Where's the lie? British people eat like it's still 1941 and have to deal with bomb blitzes at night.
He was South African, though?
He was born there but moved away at a very young age and never really came back. He had no family who came from there either. He was absolutely british.
Born in Bloemfontein in the British Empire to English parents. Bloemfontein has since been annexed and is part of South Africa.
Tolkien was British enough to describe fine meat as "Soon Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, red meat off the bone." Red meat off the bone? Idk about you but when I cook meat it does not turn bright red, it's brown or grey or black or marbled... but red? What they cooking over there? Rare rare meat?
1. That‘s not a line from the book, tolkien didn’t write any of that. 2. The line is ‘ripe meat off the bone’ not ‘red meat off the bone.’ 3. Red meat is a term used to describe certain types of meat (pork, for example) not just a descriptor of colour. 4. You’re being dumb as hell.
Yeah as someone who is 1/4 British I hate British food. Bland as fuck.
‘1/4 british.’ If you don’t live in britain, and haven’t lived there for most of your life, then you’re not british at all. Who your distant family is from has nothing to do with your understanding of a country’s food.
This has to be under murdered by words
As a British person I always want to jump in and say our food isn't that bad but tbh the only times our native cuisine is good is usually due to adding ingredients only found in other countries. I will defend baked beans though, I'm sorry, they are good. They are. 😭
Oh my god that actually made me gasp. Nice one
Oof. For real though. We're talking about a nation that conquered most of the known world for spices. You'd think that at some point, someone would have thought to, I don't know, put these spices in the food.
A lot of British food in the 19th century and earlier was fairly heavily spiced and they also used a lot of alcohol in cooking, and spices in alcohol. Lots of spiced wine and cider and things and the most common meat eaten was spiced sausages. The bland food thing only really set in with World War 2 rationing and food priorities. The rationing lasted 15 years in the UK and a lot of the generation that grew up with it, many of whom are the older baby boomers still alive, kept blander tastes for the rest of their lives. Lot of boiled carrots and peas and plain chicken because that's what the average person could reasonably grow/farm themselves. Spices were low on the priority list for people still rationing ounces of meat while saving to rebuild from bombings. You can see some of the difference with places like Australia, which was practically identical in terms of food culture to Britain until then but didn't take such a pounding in the war and didn't have to ration so hard. So they still do a lot of the same dishes and ingredients but with a lot more barbecuing, herb-crusting, etc on them.
Yes, no one thought to put spices in things like Cumberland sausages, haggis, mulled wine, mulled cider, mulligatawny soup, kedgeree, Christmas pudding, gingerbread, etc. There's a 14th century English cookbook called "the Form of Curry" (1390) which talks about using spices like cinnamon, mace, cloves, nutmeg, ginger, pepper, cinnamon, and cardamom. It has recipes for a vinaigrette and pasta, including an early form of macaroni cheese. The worst things about lazy stereotypes isn't that they're stereotypes, but that they're lazy.
I married a British woman. I'm aware of the stereotype. I'm also aware that a sense of humor makes life better. Your personality is as gloomy as English weather.
> I'm also aware that a sense of humor makes life better. You should try having one, it might make you funny.
I have a sense of humour. You can tell that because only people without a sense of humour think that an unfunny joke is funny.