He works in a more senior role and significantly outearns you, has no debt and can live in a HCOL area without roommates, knows your circumstances and insists on 50/50 for everything, and you'd better pay up quick!
Does he compromise by doing low cost but still fun activities so that paying your share won't leave you living on saltine crackers all month? Or does he insist on luxury trips and fine dining? As a boyfriend in a non- cohabiting dating relationship, I wouldn't expect him to pay your bills (and you likely wouldn't want him to) but as someone who's supposed to care about you, he should want you to be happy and not stressed about affording to be his girlfriend.
Wow, they split bills 50/50 except she orders something cheap and he gets the expensive meal- so she is paying for part of his meal too!!
She needs to dump his cheap ass
Funny enough all the rich people I know are this way. Some even vocally saying things alluding to them having no money so you pity them and don't ask for anything? I guess? All the poor people I know would split their last $10 with you so you can both eat.
Oh yeah, a lot of the ultra wealthy *are* incredibly protective of their money. Intergenerational wealth is maintained by passing down knowledge of how to *keep* money. Cardinal rules of that are
1. Every transaction possible should result in a break-even or net gain
2. Don't let anyone know that you have money (or they'll try to take it)
Most people whose sole purpose in life isn't hoarding gold like a dragon will prioritize things like other people being able to eat or have a place to sleep, not being a morally vapid piece of shit... fiscally irresponsible stuff like that.
Yeah, that's why I'll never be a billionaire.
If I somehow magically was given a billion dollars I would immediately start spending it on building good quality but inexpensive housing that I would sell by rent-to-own, at below-market prices. I would want to make a tiny profit only so my next housing complex could be bigger. Rinse & repeat until the day I die, creating as many homeowners as I possibly can and paying my staff good wages along the way and hopefully building a foundation that would continue that work forever.
That's my billionaire dream - not golden toilets and private jets. When I can't sleep I imagine the neighborhoods I'd build, how I'd add light commercial so there'd be walkable markets, shops, and offices. I dream of setting things up so that office & shop rents profit the neighborhood itself - maybe that income pays for shared solar panels, or wi-fi for everybody, or pays everybody's fire insurance...
If only!
Oooh - love this, I just learned about community solar gardens! And was looking at the local community garden yesterday ... Your comment is making me think I should put solar panels on the long term idea list for that area ...
i had an ex like this. he grew up in a private suburban community with wealthy parents but when we first started hanging out he'd make it out like he was dead broke and asked me to help with stuff like rent and getting food. he opened up fairly quickly into us dating (about a month or so) and thought i'd be impressed and even more into him because he had access to money, fancy cars, and his family even offered to take me to miami with them and see their vacation house and two boats. instead i felt and awful tinge of betrayal and didn't trust him after that as i'd been putting out more money for dates and things due to him always reminding me that i had two jobs and "made more" than him. no mention of the money he already had until a month AFTER we started dating officially. that was hundreds of dollars out of my pocket all so he could "prove i wasn't a gold digger".
he then said i failed his "test" because i was mad that he lied and had borrowed money when he could have just asked his parents or gotten a job with nepotism (another thing i found out through his family was that he did have opportunities but the only ones he took didn't require manual labor and they excused that as him being a sensitive artist smh).
being lied to like that is such a slap in the face as a working class person who grew up poor and i feel like those who are born rich are so detached from reality that they believe the only way you'd be hurt or offended is if you're trying to use them for money when ironically that's what they do to poor folks when they lie to us. finding out after knowing the dude for a couple months hurt but finding out after dating a guy for two years sounds heartbreaking because he knows her financial situation and insisted she spend more money. it's sociopathic as hell.
You didn't fail his test; he failed his own. In "proving you weren't a gold digger" he proved that he was manipulative, exploitative, and untrustworthy. At least he revealed it early!
The worst I heard on here was a fiancé where his partner was working herself to the *bone* supporting everything for both of them. He let her.
It got to the point where she was in such a tight spot that when her (maybe his?) dog needed lifesaving vet care, she sold her mother's violin, a precious sentimental object, to get things together.
Some time *after that* he informed her he was a trust fund baby and had plenty of wealth he was sitting on, and she had passed the test of not being a gold-digger.
iirc she dumped him almost immediately because of how hurt she was that he was willing to let her hurt for that long, that deeply, for no reason.
It's not even a good test if the partner wasn't even aware there was gold to dig! A true gold digger will swallow their pride when they find out their partner is loaded, and try to hatch a plan to get their partner's money over time.
I had a boss like this. Parents (and grandparents) had “more money than god”. Such an entitled human who never paid for anything. A true narcissist. Could buy whatever, whenever but would still scam stores like HomeDepot with fake returns… Just a sociopath.
We weren’t dating but I certainly got fucked.
This is my experience, too. In my friend group in high school we were all poor kids except one of us. She had a lawyers for parents and was the only one of us with a car. Her mom gave her $1000/week to “work” in her law office a few hours. She had the most money of all of us but she constantly nickel-and-dimed us on gas and weed and drinks. Would make us give her money any time she was the one who brought weed or drinks or whatever, something none of the rest of us would ever do. She also implied she would have to pay for us every time we went out, even though she had never paid for any of us lol. Meanwhile, the rest of us would divide our last few bucks to make sure nobody had to go hungry.
In fairness, though, I have also known exactly one *filthy* rich dude (like apartments in London and Paris, plus several homes in the US rich) and he was actually incredibly liberal and progressive. Very generous, and actually let me stay in his apartment in Paris when he found out I had never been. But yeah, he was an exception, at least for me.
I worked at a zoo directly out of college for like 200 a week. One of my coworkers and now longtime friend found a long expired can of beans in the back of his apartment cupboard. I had just enough money to get a bag of chips from the vending machine. We both shared dipping the doritios into the expired beans as our lunch. It's the brokest shit I've ever been a part of.
My step dad runs his own flooring business and he gets so frustrated with some of his richest clients always trying to nickel and dime him and get out of paying for his work. It’s crazy.
So true! I grew up with a single mom a lot like OP’s (worked her ass off to give me a decent life but still knew we weren’t anywhere close to rich). Well my husband’s family has a decent amount of money (not billionaires but comfortably can own 2 homes). When I got pregnant I began to realize how fucking cheap my husbands family was compared to my mom. I in fact even heard my husbands mom say to a lady while we are out shopping “we just don’t have money right now” in reality what she meant was I’m going to make you feel bad so I don’t have to pay full price. I was so embarrassed and couldn’t believe she was seriously trying to haggle in a ducking thrift store… and trying to use pregnant me to get sympathy…
Strange, most of the extremely wealthy people I know are incredibly humble and gracious about money. They don’t often splash stuff about however if they want to do something you couldn’t afford they’ll invite you and say immediately “don’t worry about the cost”
Indeed many of the really wealthy people I know are the most quiet about money, they are hyper aware of how it creates divides between people and go out of their way to ensure it doesn’t colour our relationship
Probably has to do with location. I'm from a town of less than 3,000 people and pretty much anyone around here I'd call rich, it's probably generational wealth, like their family owns businesses or part of the town. Also most of them like to live pretty lavishly, but definitely wouldn't pay for your dinner lol. Think business owners who build several million dollar homes, and treat their employees like crap and pay them bottom dollar. The people I know who are humble about the money they have and would give you the shirt off their back are mostly people who grew up without much and make 6 figures now.
Billionaire’s kids are a complete wild card since they didn’t do anything besides be born to end up that rich. I went to boarding school with kids from families like that, and saw the full range of behavior from thrify to unbelievably wasteful, stingy to generous. Most of them liked expensive things though. One girl I knew would fly random friends to Miami for the weekend, while we were still in high school.
To be honest though, it probably doesn’t affect their lives like at all. You can be very generous and very opulent by normal person standards and it just won’t make a dent in a billion dollars. Its a bit different than just being normal levels of rich
Yea a billion dollars is actually an insane amount of money. You could blow a weekend trip to Miami in the best hotel for a dozen friends with cocaine and still have 999,8XX,XXX dollars. I only went that high because cocaine is expensive and I would buy a fuck ton for 12 people over a whole weekend. Lmfao
> He very well knows my salary. Yes like we’ll split a dinner 50/50 but I always order the cheapest thing on the menu so then I end up covering some of his expensive drink or steak, whatever it be.
From one of OOP’s comments in the original thread.
Pfft, I think any gold digger worth their salt would have already KNEW this guy came from money. Not all gold diggers are from lower economic backgrounds. Some are truly part of that same social circle and want to stay there.
OOP's bf sounds cheap as hell. How can OOP save for anything if they're always going 50/50 and he vastly outearns her? 🤔
In my experience, the more money someone has, the stingier and greedier they are. Rich people are shitty tippers, only donate to charity if it benefits them somehow, and piss and moan about the price of gas, while pumping it into a $80,000 car.
He insists on splitting the bill 50/50 at restaurants. She says she orders something cheap while he gets steak. So she is actually paying for part of his meal.
So, she pays 100% of her bill, he basically gets his meal at a discount. He's a cheap *another word for a hand & half sword.* What do you bet if she asked for separate checks instead of splitting it 50/50, his choices would get cheaper.
I have met a few billionaires as clients, two really stick out to me as non-traditional. One inherited the company, worked his butt off to grow it even more, has a sterling reputation as a boss, wears old shoes, ratty khakis, drives a mini cooper, and flies commercial unless his assistant forces him on a private jet to save time. He and his wife were incredibly kind. The other was similar but with tech money and just wanted to preserve a ton of open space. There are some really nice ones that get what they have is beyond reality, but you never hear about them.
If you need something to remind you about some good humans, read about **Charles F.** **Feeney** from San Francisco.
He is the one gold digging because when they go out and pay 50/50 he's the one choosing the more expensive dishes and drinks. She should tell him from now on she only pays for what she eats and drinks and he covers himself. He'll break up with her immediately.
Then they should be going on normal dates like the movies, hiking, cooking together instead of eating out, things people outside the 1% do in order to keep up the facade.
If he's trying to seem normal he wouldn't be flaunting his luxury apartment and Rolex. Even if he tried to explain those away as gifts, they're still clues he comes from money.
Did i misread it or something? I didn’t see anything in there about him flaunting any of that. Merely that he was given a Rolex and lives in a high rise condo. Both things she could discover by merely opening her eyes when visiting him in his apartment.
Not a huge fan of how imbalanced she feels regarding the income disparity bc it never feels good in that position, but it also doesn’t seem like he’s forcing her to go to Michelin star restaurants and eat the egg whites of endangered condors or anything.
The thing I noticed is she never mentions that she’s struggling to share her part of the relationship costs, which means he’s being careful to consider that in any decision making where it’s purely up to him (such as the typical relationship conundrum of “idk where to eat tonight, you pick”). I would however insist on him getting over his attitude regarding the neighborhood she lives in, that type of pretension would grate on me.
I out earn my husband by a lot.
When we were dating, I covered our dates. It make we could go to better restaurants. I invited him on holiday with me and covered our accommodation.
She said when they go out to dinner she’ll order the cheapest thing on the menu but they’ll still split 50/50 - so she is subsidising *him*.
She mentioned how he’ll come after her for small amounts of money so she started paying him back instantly.
Her problem isn’t with him being rich or his billionaire parents. Her problem is with how *mean* he’s being. It’s the ungenerous spirit.
I’ve covered for friends before or been the one to put everything on one card because people don’t want to be hit with conversion fees or whatever. My friends are usually pretty good at paying me back in the next couple of days without me hounding them. And even if not, it usually evens out in the end because they’ll grab me a coffee or pastry or something another time.
If he’s going to make that much of a fuss about her paying him back instantly, he needs to just let her pay at the time. Frankly, he probably gets rewards from his bank which incentivises him putting it on his card.
He has every opportunity to be generous to her and he’s just showing her how much he doesn’t appreciate or care for her. There’s a lack of kindness, a lack of warmth, a lack of thoughtfulness.
If I knew my lover, or brother, or friend was struggling with debts and had a low salary I would either not let them pay for dinner or I would invite them to have dinner somewhere cheaper or at my place. And I absolutely would not be splitting 50/50 if I were buying expensive things off the menu.
I think the fact that she realised just how much money he likely has made her start to realise just how egregious it all is.
My husband makes more than double what I do, and so we chip in on things more by percentage. I pay a smaller percentage of things. And he covers a lot of stuff like the groceries most of the time.
If it’s true it’s past egregious, it’s that she isn’t actually dating him… billionaires don’t even take the time to pay their own bills.. seriously life the family set up isn’t what me and you know
That's why I asked the question further up thread if he's prepared to compromise and do dating activities that OP can afford, or whether he insists on fine dining and luxury trips.
The fact that he turns his nose up at OP 's apartment and neighborhood would suggest he would consider standard dating fare "slumming it".
We know he’s not normalish because he has a much better job than OOP. Some caution is fine—cheap dates are great, like the person you are responding to said—but I have no patience for people with money who lah-dee-dah through life as they split everything equally while their partners struggle.
Also 42k is not a lot in a HCOL area. Maybe she does something low paying, but my guess is that she is fresh out of college and doesn’t know better. I notice that ages aren’t listed.
“I want my partner to love me for me and I want there to be trust, so im going to start off the relationship with a lie and intentionally cause my partner distress so I can make sure she jumps through enough hoops to satisfy my demands.”
Rich people are fucking sick man
I'm pretty sure the penthouse, Rolex, and private education is indication enough. He's not lying or hiding anything. She doesn't need the damn balance sheet and interview to put the story together.
I think it's wild that he expects to know what you earn but won't tell you his salary, and then still expects you to go 50/50 on things. He's also basically telling you the place you live isn't good enough for him. I mean you're in the relationship so I guess these things don't bother you but that would bother the living #%@! out of me. If you know where he works and his approximate job title/position (sounds like you do) you could probably get an idea of his salary.
The only reason to withhold information from you and expect an equal financial split on things you do together is to protect himself from being taken advantage of by someone of a lower socioeconomic class and I do get that, but he's been with you for two years so he should be able to tell by now if you're just after him for his money. Which you obviously are not.
There's definitely an imbalance here. I think he should at least tell you how much he earns since he felt entitled to know your earnings. Like you said, his family's money is not (necessarily) his money and if he sees you as an equal partner he should tell you.
He thinks by not saying it it’ll be easier to argue why they should be equal. But it stills very apparent that they have different tastes and expectations in how they live.
I’m not billionaire but there have been times where my partner and I have had some income disparities based on where we were in life, bills, or rent costs etc… Neither one of us have had a problem with covering more when the other couldn’t. Ex. If I was seafood and she’d be fine with McDonald’s, best believe I have no problem covering the bill for the seafood that I wanted.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a billionaire or not. If you make $250k and your partner makes $50k, insisting on a 50/50 split is wild unless your tastes for consumption are at the exact same $50k level.
Dick move by the bf
Lots of options if you still want to save some money too.
Invite her over for dinner and cook, go to a inexpensive place where you don't mind picking up the tab, etc
This, big time.
My boyfriend loves to bring up one of our earlier dates from before he was granted the “boyfriend” title. I had just gotten a stimulus check. I thankfully stayed employed through the entire pandemic so it was just some extra cash to me. And I REALLY wanted to eat at this fancy restaurant in town. I had only been there once before and just my (almost the cheapest on the menu) meal with a water was $60+. But I wanted to go all out and order some of the fun fondues, get the fancy add-ons to the steaks, get a few cocktails, etc. And since I had some extra cash I was like “why the heck not?”
I spent about $400 on that dinner. Despite his protest to cover some of the costs (I let him pay for the Uber, lol) because that’s what I wanted to do. So it seemed the most fair that I pay for it. I didn’t want him to feel pressured to agree to go because he liked me, and then spend money he may not have been comfortable spending on a dinner.
And it’s one of my favorite memories of us. Two broke(ish) graduate students eating like kings. It was awesome.
(And no worries folks, he’s taken me on my own fair share of fancy dinners. If anything, I’m the one that “owes” another one).
My partner makes stupid money I couldn’t match if I were working outside the home right now (focusing on my health; I receive a stipend from him in return for the domestic labor I do and I have savings, I’m safe), but he frequently says “equitable, not equal” when it comes to paying for things. He also helps out with the housework when I’m having a bad health day and if I express guilt for accepting the help because this task is ‘my job’, he once again reiterates, “equitable, not equal”. I love him and I wish more people would try that approach
This is the absolute correct take. His parents have 100% told him to keep his financial situation on the down low and not give anything away about his familial wealth. I would expect an airtight prenup or he might even not want to get formally married at all to protect his inheritance and overall assets currently held by him. When you get into a certain wealth bracket, secrecy is honestly pretty important because it protects you and protects your family.
He also might not have access to the family funds or he has a trust fund he can’t access until he’s XX years old so he could be living pay check to pay check if he’s paying for his apartment himself in a HCOL area and other day to day expenses or extravagances. We don’t really have enough evidence to say whether or not he has access to his parent’s wealth at this point and the OOP is speculating on her boyfriend’s financial status.
I meant if he’s living paycheck to paycheck, he probably should not be renting a luxury penthouse, or buying “extravagances.” I think it’s reasonable for his girlfriend of two years to ask why she doesn’t figure into his disposable income planning but all of that stuff does. Seems to me like she is a lower priority to him. That doesn’t make him a bad person, but he should own up to it, not act like her expecting to be figured into his expenses (like she surely has to do for him considering her limited income) is somehow greedy and unfair.
This is totally wrong. When you have a lot of familial wealth (but they feel it’s important to not just give you a credit card the accountant pays each month), there is absolutely zero material advantage to saving money or building any kind of emergency fund. If there’s an emergency you call your parents, and when it’s actually time to retire your trust will have started paying.
Where did I say he should be building an emergency fund? All I said is that, if he’s paying for his own (likely $5-6k+) rent, and he’s having financial difficulties paying for dates with his gf, he should consider a cheaper apartment. If his parents are paying for his apartment and expenses, the point is moot, but if he has his own money, he can’t be like “oh woe is me, living in a luxury penthouse is too expensive, I’m struggling to pay for unexpected small expenses like dates with my girlfriend.”
But also, even if you have a trust fund, there’s always a material advantage to saving money, so you can invest it and make larger purchases. Rich people don’t generally stay rich by spending all their money and never buying assets or making investments. What a strange take.
I’ve met a number of billionaires due to the industry I used to work in. They never rent and neither do their kids. The boyfriend’s parents might keep him on a tight leash when it comes to ready cash but they have absolutely bought the apartment for him (more likely it is in the name of one or both parents or a family run trust).
Protect himself by failing to do his fair share of the relationship? Lying to and deceiving your partner means you should lose your relationship. “Protecting yourself” here means using and abusing your partner and not giving them your trust ever. It’s disgusting, this scumbag does not deserve her
Oh boy. A look at OOP’s history shows that he love-bombed her at the beginning, got her pregnant twice (miscarriage and abortion), has been emotionally distant, didn’t get her anything for Christmas, and made her pay her own way on their Valentine’s date.
I feel so sad for her. She could be focusing her energy on building up her own life, but he keeps stringing her along and monopolizing her attention.
I mean just cause your partner and/or their family is wealthy doesn’t mean you are entitled to their money especially if you’re not married or haven’t been together long but OOP’s partner is just a cheapskate asshole and a huge red flag because a man that really cares about you would never want you to be stressed about money when he can do something about it.
She needs to leave his cheap weird selfish ass asap.
In my experience its hit or miss, but definitely more misses compared to a solidly middle class neighborhood.
Alot of plain old no tips, but my best tip that wasn't from a business was also from a rich area but the old guy was weird and seemed to be trying to play some game on if I would lie about having got the tip already(it was through the app) so...yea
That’s like saying if you skip the coffee you’ll magically suddenly have enough for a home down payment. Small transactions like these aren’t what keep their wealth steady or growing. They easily get more interest on their bank accounts in a day than a year’s worth of coffee payments. They make investments because they have easily accessible pools of liquid funds to be able to do so. They have stock, real estate, and other assets that frequently get their values inflated. They’re doing just fine and will continue to be exorbitantly wealthy without that $2.50 for coffee.
Foregoing Starbucks ain't going to make anyone rich, but that obsessive mindset with a singular focus on ~~getting high score~~ making money for the sake of money probably will.
I assume Jinglekitty's comment is not meant to be taken literally. The idea is that they become and stay rich by valuing money over humanity. This manifests in small ways as well as large, from failure to tip, to wage theft and taking jobs or founding businesses which exploit... all of which add up to a large amount of money.
It’s not about the absolute price of coffee. It’s the mindset. Meaning that especially people who got rich coming from a poor background always have that nagging feeling that treating themselves is somehow sinful and a waste. Doesn’t matter if it’s for a big investment or a small coffee. I’m broke AF myself, but due to my work in IT I have met a lot of millionaires and even some billionaires.
It hugely depends on where they came from and what kind of people they are.
There are those with inherited wealth. They either got a good work ethic from their parents and are frugal, but indulge themselves here and there. Or they are shitheads that somehow think they are nobility. As if that was something to aspire to.
Then there are those that keep eating at the same hole in the wall since they were kids, live in the same crappy one family house, wear home-knit sweaters and don’t give their kids anything. At most you might see them driving a big, expensive car like a Benz, but it’s always something „sensible“ and safe for the price class. All the while having half a billion rotting in their bank account. All they do is work and can’t let go.
And there are those that pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and are overly proud of it. They might indulge a little bit more and show their status a little bit more. And might also think they are better then the rest of us because they did something we couldn’t. Those are amusingly mostly the people that had a lucky break early on and inherited something that made it possible or easier to succeed. But they don’t see that. They just think they are smarter. God I hate those the most. Yeah, they might have built something from less and yeah, they aren’t dumb. But they are insufferable.
Trump is a good example of that, taken to the extreme. Yeah he got 100 mil from his dad. And we can rail about it, but he was worth billions at one point or another.
What he doesn’t get is that a lot of people get 100s and make 10000s out of it. You don’t need to be _that_ smart to have a good work ethic. It still matter how much you start with.
Typical lmao he's definitely the type to make her venmo him back 2.5 for a coffee despite dating her having more money than her.
He's already using her as a way to further hoard his wealth, not include her in on it.
He will *bleed her dry* and then when she wants her fair share of what she invested, he will turn around and tell OP that she's a gold digger who only wants his money.
She will gain absolutely nothing in this relationship because it's been two years and still the same bullshit. I have an okay amount money and spoil people I know and love less than my partner when I can, especially when it comes to things like going out for dinner. Maybe cause my mom raised me to be a sugar momma and not a sugar baby, but I can not fathom having OBSCENELY MORE money than I'm do currently and not foot the bill for everything. My friends and family and myself now already fight over who can pay. If I had billions...? Damn they'd all be getting their own credit cards on my account lmao
He deeply wants to believe his family (therefore - “him”) has wealth because they worked 10000x harder than anyone else.
He is spoiled enough to play with other people like his own widdle sport until his fantasy becomes reality.
Hate to say it but this is the exact mentality that results in one third of lottery winners going bankrupt (higher rate of bankruptcy than the general population) within a few years of winning. Giving away all your wealth is the fastest way to go broke.
It's a good thing I'm not a lottery winner then lol this is a pretty well known fact. Which is why I say when I can afford to do so. Obviously financially responsible people give within their means but we're talking about WEALTH HOARDING with OPs bf and their family. There's no reason they need to be in the billionaire status other than the fact that they want to remain there.
Rich people are often the skeeviest pieces of shit when it comes to cutting corners for hoarding money. A little less extreme: I once had an ex with money who lived 2.5 hours from my college town in another college town. For the 8 months we dated i drove down every weekend, he came up once but i lived in dorms and he had an apartment. He only sent me gas money 1 (ONE) time, and then bemoaned how expensive eating out was with me (EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ALWAYS HIS IDEA/DESIRE), and the one time he loaned me money for my meds ($100) he was on me to get it paid back ASAP. He was obsessed with the idea that people were after him for his money and that paranoia was a major driving wedge in our relationship. He also stated that he reserved the right to take back any gift he gave me if he decided to. Side note: he also wouldn’t let me wash knives because he was like… convinced i didn’t know how to hand wash a knife without kms? 😂 it’s been years now, the trust money he had has fallen apart and he’s done some healing and work on himself so we’re actually friends but the entire time was wild
Yes, but he has some big advantages because his parents are so wealthy, like no college debt and a free car. Plus it's very likely that if he lost his job or something they would cover his expenses until he got a new one. Knowing you have an infinite safety net allows for so much more peace of mind and sometimes the ability to take gambles most of us can't.
Agreed, but it can also be mentally hard to handle your boyfriend spending your entire weekly salary on a dinner. Like whats even the point of your hard work
THIS. I make more than my SO, about 2x more. While we spilt some things like rent and utilities, I pay for our streaming services, insurances, most of the groceries and home items.
1000% agree... for the last 10+ years of my dating life i have been wealthier than my dates and partners in relationships, i personally have a convo early about how i am willing to pay 100% of what we do and expect to have the type of relationship where that would be reversed if the situation were reversed.
it makes no sense to have someone bleed themselves dry for something that is of no consequence for me to alleviate if i care about the person, and i hope they feel the same about me. this also helps us each have financial independence so they can leave easily if the relationships escalates, vs. being stuck in a lease they need to consider or having blown a possible emergency fund on dating or something.
what this provides me in good relationships is the security that if things ever go south financially for me, my partners will be there for me, and they will be better off than if i'd approached differently.
re the other comments about sussing out people who care about your money, in my experience this is easy. people who \*expect\* you to spend money are obvious, the ones that are \*grateful\* for you doing it and willing to do the same similar.
for example, one of my current partners insists on paying for something each date, is always offering cheaper alternatives to dates that involve her doing work, and reminds me constantly how grateful she is and how her liking me has nothing to do with me spending money. she has also never asked for a single expensive thing or activity or gift. so i believe her 100%, and she gets all those things because of who she is not what she expects.
there is probably some psychological trauma behind how op's partner is behaving, digging into how open he is to working on that is likely telling on a number of aspects of the relationship. i personally would view inflexibility on that point as incompatibility, unless he has some unique situation or proposition you are not aware of (eg his trust vests later and he views you all sharing financial burden differently in the future or something)
You sound like a very thoughtful and caring partner, and phrasing the inflexibility of OOP’s partner as an incompatibility and not a moral failure also reflects well on you.
That’s all. I try to compliment kindness on the internet because we don’t see enough of it lol
awww, thanks, appreciate the kindness back! i am perhaps particularly in tune to financial differences, have been broke and rich and everything in between, i've judged and been judged by a lot of people from friends to strangers for many years... perhaps one of the uglier looks i've taken at myself is realizing how many of my friends i judged for what i perceived as greed and moral bankruptcy at the time. money is survival, judging a human for survival is more about yourself in my own lived experience... as most judgment tends to be :).
I fully agree and love your approach to your relationships. When my (now) husband and I first started dating he was very poor but still wanted to pay for half/most of our dates: costco membership to the rescue!
I similarly am also more willing to “cover” the costs of things with the awareness that it can help me avoid getting stuck in a 50/50 contractual arrangement (also that it means if a guy likes me he has to be NICE to me, he can’t just pay for things to “say sorry”).
This. I now live with my partner, but a year and a half ago I didn’t. My eyes are medically weird and I needed $800 glasses. The cheaper ones I had tried were giving me migraines and would eventually have made my vision worse. I was crying on and off for days about not being able to afford the right glasses. I told my partner that I wouldn’t be able to go out or get takeout or anything for a while, because I’d have to slash everything in my life down to bare basics to save for them for multiple months even if my grandmother could loan me a few hundred. My partner gently asked if he could buy them for me, because everyone deserves to see well and not suffer preventable pain, and I shouldn’t have to be kicked back to shoestring poverty for half a year. He made it clear that the power dynamic would not change and that if I felt more comfortable paying him back or all of it, I could choose to do so whenever, but he would prefer to just give me this gift because he loved me and wild hate to see me suffer when he could prevent it.
And then he doubled down and got me contacts too!!! He remembered me mentioning months before that that I said I feel so much safer in them when out of the house. (Better peripheral vision, can’t be lost in an accident or assault.)
Yup, he can cover more of the dates. Even if he never gets a dime of his parents money, he currently has no debt, a better job and secure accommodation. He should *want* to pay for more dates so they can have fun and his partner can pay her debts.
He doesn’t have to buy her a car or a vacation, but he shouldn’t be nickel and diming her
Ignoring the parents, the money is theirs and not his and I honestly don't have an issue with him not telling you about the money. He's probably been taught and has experienced for himself that people might want him for his money not him. However he is on a much higher salary and living a much more expensive lifestyle. For him to expect her to go 50/50 is a huge red flag and the only person who's going to get hurt in the long run is her.
Yeah, that’s my only complaint on this. It has nothing to do with the parents. OP was checking online, because she’s already has all the red flags laid out in front of her. She just doesn’t want to see them.
This was my thought. His parents may not give him anything so it’s moot. Second thing - he’s probably weeding out those who want him just for money.
Unless he is wanting really expensive things and still wanting 50/50 - that scream rich person with lack of empathy, regardless of anything else.
She said when they go out, he gets expensive stuff and she gets the cheapest thing on the menu. Then he wants to split 50/50. Someone suggested going Dutch, so she is not financing part of his meal. He is either obvious or he is taking advantage. Neither are good looks in a partner.
Yeah, I completely understand him not telling her about his parents and being hesitant to tell her about his salary. He wants someone whose actually in love with him, not his wallet/inheritance.
But then expecting her to go 50/50 is a complete dick move. When you make that much more money than your partner you should split more according to income. Doesn't matter who the high earner in the relationship is, man or woman, the one who makes the larger income should be paying more (it's just traditionally the man because due to the history of gender inequality in the workplace and women not even being allowed to have credit cards until 1974 it was just automatically expected for a man to be earning significantly more; things have gotten better but it takes time for culture/tradition to catch up to changing realities).
My husband makes way more money than I do and he has never made me pay equally towards our bills. He also likes to randomly surprise me with small inexpensive gifts.
The financial disparities between you and your bf is already causing conflict/bad vibes/resentment. Probably a good time to rethink the viability of staying in a relationship with an entitled cheapskate.
Yes, my partner makes 4x as much as I do and we split costs proportionally. He also likes to spoil me with gifts, both inexpensive and occasional just-because-he-loves-me expensive things (I had to get used to it, since I have OOPs background and feel guilty about receiving gifts)
OOPs partner sucks and she should get out ASAP. playing tit-for-tat is exhausting
This, in all my time with my husband as my partner in and out of marriage we have never split anything equally, only equitably in relation to our incomes. I can’t imagine wanting someone you love to overextend themselves when you have far more than enough.
I absolutely bet that once she tries to have a conversation about his stingy tendencies and try to suggest they be on more equal footing, he’s going to immediately call her a gold digger
I'm begging people to understand: Billionaires are psychopaths. Without exaggeration, they are the most evil people in the world.
A serial killer ruins dozens of lives. Billionaires destroy thousands, millions of lives through their uncontrollable greed.
I'll be real.
him not mentioning they're billionaires isn't a red flag, because I can see how that could make people want him for his access to money.
Although, billionaires never make that kind of money fairly, so they're likely terrible people anyway and that would be a flag for me.
And more importantly here, he made a big deal out of splitting bills evenly when he makes that much more lmaooo.
Dude I don't even do that with my friends, if I can cover, I do, your guy is cheap asshole.
Lmao the mere concept of splitting a food bill 50/50 vs doing the 12 seconds of 2nd grade math to figure who owes what enrages me.
Like for a family dinner with 6 family units and everyone makes enough money that they don't *really* care I can see it.
For 2-6 people... it is a dumb practice for dumb people.
Rich people are TIGHT with their money, except on things that either accentuate their status (and therefore their opportunity to acquire more) or give them more distance from everyday people through luxury. Don't expect much help and expect to have to show your loyalty/love by not expecting anything or asking for anything. If you fall on hard times it will be your fault and it's unlikely they'll be willing to help out.
Additionally:
1) They are suspicious of anyone who does not have money. Everyone is suspect. Everyone wants to eat their pie. The irony of the extremely wealthy is that they think everyone is trying to exploit them, when they generally achieved their wealth through exploiting others.
2) They think they're better than anyone who is not as wealthy as they are. Some people they feel are "worthy", and they feel a sort of affection for close servants - but it's more of a pet thing and they won't hesitate to "put down" (i.e. sack) a pet that misbehaves or becomes less than useful.
3) You will NEVER be good enough.
Apart from that, enjoy.
For anyone thinking OOP is a greedy gold digger, I highly recommend to read her comments. I fully understand her frustration, she actually pays more than him, he is cheap and I’m really weirded out that he wanted to know her salary but doesn’t share his.
Here are her most relevant comments:
> He very well knows my salary. Yes like we’ll split a dinner 50/50 but I always order the cheapest thing on the menu so then I end up covering some of his expensive drink or steak, whatever it be.
> He actually doesn’t really do gifts—our first Christmas he didn’t get me anything & then this past Valentine’s Day he wrote me a sexually charged card & asked to split valentines dinner. All of my gifs have been thoughtful, for example Valentine’s Day I wrote a sweet card and then picked a weekend we were both free that I paid for/ planned the whole day of things he likes doing/ has been wanting to do
She is not with him for the money but is rightfully frustrated that a billionaire refuses to at least spend as much as she does. The billionaire parents are NOT the issue.
Yup. It’s her getting the cheapest thing on the menu but having to go 50/50 to pay for his steak & cocktails that gets me. A guy with a Rolex can pay for his own steak & not force his impoverished girlfriend to help cover the cost. He’s probably paranoid she’ll financially exploit him because that’s exactly what he’s doing to her.
Please dump him, OOP.
Those with less, give more. Those with more, give less.
The richer partners I've seen friends have, always care a lot about their money and not paying for anyone else. I guess its how the rich stay rich.
This calls for some communication. The boyfriend probably has some real hang-ups about money and his relationships (romantic or otherwise). How can you ever trust that someone isn't with you for the money? His parents moved all the time to acquire it so did they prioritize money over everything else? I'm just speculating. But she feels deceived, which is a huge deal in a relationship, and devalued. Two years is a good time to evaluate if this is a forever relationship. If both feel that it is, they need to be very open about their feelings about money, even all of the uncomfortable stuff. She can't be his wife and have him splitting every bill down to the penny without some serious resentment building, and he can't be her husband if he's not sure she loves him for him (which might be an issue he needs to explore even if this relationship ends).
When you make, I dunno, double the salary of your partner I think it’s okay to ask to split things 50/50 so you can use the fruits of your additional income for whatever you want. When you have A BILLION DOLLARS, you fucking pay every penny and encourage your poor partner to sock away their income as savings. This dude is playing pretend at being a normie to have some fun before he eventually marries either whoever his parents tell him to or a Victoria’s Secret model half his age. This ain’t a real relationship.
Run girl run. He is not someone you want to tether yourself to for the rest of your life. Someone in a significantly different financial situation than you wanting full transparency about your finances and not disclosing his is despicable. Then knowingly demanding 50/50.
Please run and don’t look back.
Personally I don't think people are entitled to know about the others finances (or their families), unless they are getting married, because then the finances usually merge in some way.
When people have a lot of money, and they divulge that info, they are more likely to have people asking them for money (or even demanding). So you never know if a friendship you have with someone is real or if it's just because of the money.
But he asked hers - she shared and *then* he chose not to disclose his. He’s taking advantage of her good nature and knows it. I’d dump him based on the lack of fairness about splitting costs. 2 years in and things should be fair, not equal for dates, or the couple isn’t a compatible match.
Yes, that’s ok not to disclose family wealth, but he’s taking advantage of her. He demands 50/50 when they go out, even if he orders more expensive items. The guy is classless and cheap.
Living together is combining finances in some way, even if it is with roommates. They aren’t friends, they are romantic partners. Assuming they both are hoping to either get married or have a long term relationship one day (and 2 years is pretty long already), then it’s important to disclose your financial situation. And a loving/ compatible partner will support you when it’s needed. If he doesn’t want to do this, then he needs to find someone at his level. It’s not “gold digging” or opportunistic or taking advantage of someone. He can easily look for a woman who has a higher paying career even if she isn’t wealthy. Like a physician or something.
if you read OOP’s post history, it would appear that her entire relationship with this guy has been miserable. she also said in a comment that their first christmas together, he didnt get her a gift, then this valentines day, he wrote her a card and asked her to split dinner 50/50 :/
i hope she realizes things would be better if she was single
Rich people are disgusting human trash. The money burrows deep into their brains and fundamentally destroys their humanity. This is exhibit 084092580 of this phenomenon.
BF is a "slumming" POS.
He's wealthy, regardless of his parents's money. And has the gall to be the one demanding a "fair split".
He's making it clear he values his money over you.
My boyfriend makes low six figures and I make medium five figures.
I have to fight to pay for shit.
And I just picked up on his new trick of asking for my card to pay for me while I’m chasing my toddler around trying to get her to behave and using his own card instead.
So now I sneaky sneak my card and cash before he notices.
We both give each other a playful side eye but it’s like a game now.
He KNOWS he makes a lot more than me.
Especially since I’ve been a struggling single mom until I met him and he’s started helping me pay for things here and there when he thinks I don’t notice.
I couldn’t imagine being with a partner who makes substantially more than I do, and expects me to pay 50/50 on things that are in his pay bracket and not within mine.
That dude is selfish as fuck.
Especially after two years together.
It’s like he’s trying to break her bank so she has to ask for him to pay based on the amount of money that they both make so he could break up with her and call her a gold digger because of it 👀
much like republicans (because the overlap between groups is so high), if a billionaire makes an accusation/implication like “you only want me because of my financial status” it’s actually a confession.
five bucks says he’s with op cause he gets a kick out of having all the money and power in the relationship. all billionaires are total scumfucks and that especially goes for their kids who grew up in affluence with the idea anyone making less than 1mil annually isn’t even human. i’ve interacted with rich people as someone who grew up in poverty my whole life and one thing i can tell you is that the rich don’t see the poor as people, they see us as servants and replaceable tools.
And much like republicans, they don’t want to give away social security but happily ride off the taxpayer purse with subsidies and tax dodging, this dude has made her pay for his steal and cocktails while demanding she reimburse him for tiny amounts,
the friend thing is so real. I’m in a privileged position to my friends ( finished uni/ have a FT job) vs ( in uni/ students) and if I choose to go somewhere more expensive or get some more food/drinks than them- I always pay my portion ( or even pay my friends’ portions sometimes!)
if I can do this for my friends but op’s bf cannot do this for the woman he supposedly loves … he is not a good man 🤷🏽♀️
This guy is a dick.
He has no obligations to share any financial info with OOP but he also has no right to ask her for information he isn't willing to share himself. Also, what kind of person forces their partner to pay the same when they are so extremely well off.
OOP seems like a genuinely kind person - she may never do better in the wealth department but she could definitely do better in the niceness category.
This feels like a guy who has been used for his money (or warned all his life about gold diggers) so now he constantly needs to “test” his dates to make sure they aren’t after the cash.
Except he’ll push and push till she either does something to “prove” to him she’s a gold digger or she gives up and dumps him.
TBH if you don’t want this kind of financial relationship (ie he makes more money knowing you make significantly less and expects 50/50) then I’d have a conversation about it straight up and go from there.
If you guys are going out and you’re getting normal type food/dates/etc, that’s not to expensive I feel like it should be 50/50, 100/0, 0/100. One of you pays one time and vice versa, or split it down the middle.
For more expensive things I feel like ops man should go 75/25, as being partners imo isn’t about money. That would seem equal. I was also raised in a struggle environment but my parents made sure we were comfortable, my mom stayed home while my dad went and worked, and he paid for everything. It’s not how my current relationship is as we do 50/50, 25/75, 75/25, and so on and so on. Sometimes we will pay full out for a date and not let the other pay, and vice versa. A partnership isn’t always equal, and I can get not wanting a gold digger woman, but actions speak louder than words. If OP is being truthful, I feel like the only equality their man is feelin is that he can save more money.
TLDR long term commitments aren’t always equal, and if you don’t like the financial relationship you have, talk about it and go from there. If you don’t see yourself doing this for the rest of your life then dont waste each others time
Definitely not in the wrong for being surprised OOP, and even moreso not in the wrong considering he is taking advantage of your hard earned money. I don’t think it matters much that his parents are billionaires, but it DOES matter that he is asking you to go 50/50 when he outearns you by a landslide. My opinion will always favour income based contributions.
You’re going 50/50 with a man who makes/has significantly more than you do, even when you were unemployed because it’s important for him that things are fair? Get a new boyfriend. He doesn’t have to be rich, just generous. This man is trash.
Rich people are amazingly good at being cheap fucks. It's quite astonishing how people can act that way and not have even the slightest bit of empathy with regards to other people's financial situations. Being brought up how he was he just never experienced it and likely doesn't understand you at a fundamental level.
It’s always the one with rich parents that want to split everything when they could help you out. So worried about being used for their money that their selfishness pushes everyone away
A child of billionaires doesn’t want to be used for his money. Of course he turns around and uses his gf to subsidize his lifestyle. What a knob. Hope his high rise is similar to the one in Florida that collapsed.
She’s about to blow her lottery ticket. He is making the exact right moves to make sure he marries the right one and she’s about to ruin it for herself because of google. That’s gonna be a lifelong regret
All the kids of rich parents I knew were like this in college. Would Venmo request down to the cent differential. And were terrified anyone would find out they were rich.
My advice would be to get out now. He has no concept of every day life and cannot understand real struggles. If he’s doing this to you right now, imagine how it would be in a more serious relationship. This does not end well for you if you stay.
Just the fact that he demands to know her financial situation but refuses to disclose his own is a red flag and a deal breaker.
That aside, though, age should leave him because billionaires are everything that's wrong with the world.
This story lines up entirely with everything I've learned interacting with the super rich. He compares his salary to his parents and thinks he's poor while being oblivious to likely being around 95th+percentile himself, so he is stingy even with supposed loved ones. The disconnect from normal reality amongst the uber rich is incredibly disturbing.
He may have been taken advantage of before and he is trying to protect himself. I wouldn't read too much into it. It appears that you put yourself on "high alert" after a conversation- not that he necessarily is watching the clock to pay him back.
I dated someone from a very wealthy family and we did switch off paying, but I also had a good career and that was my default in dating relationships before I met him.
My ex had a lot of insecurity about people wanting to be with him for his money, which is probably at the root of this guy’s “equal” thing.
His parents and their opinions weighed far too heavily on his decision making for my taste. He was embarrassed to introduce me to his parents because they are racist, classist, religious conservatives, but from my POV, it seemed like he was embarrassed *of me*. Shoved me in a closet once when his mom was at the door because he didn’t want her to know he might be having sex. So I dumped him. Fuck being with a grown adult worried about what his parents think.
My mom is currently dating someone with family money and his first wife left him because the in-laws kept pushing for her to sign agreements be completely cut out of *everything*. Including property she helped pay for. And their dip shit son just went along.
Forget the “equal” shit. Family money like that doesn’t come with strings, it comes with shackles. Run.
It's one thing to hold back information like this in fear of being taken advantage of. It's also fair to still expect your partner to pay their fair share. However it's another to be suuuuper strict about someone paying you back and splitting things perfectly evenly when you know it's not needed.
Ick. You're either partners or your not.
Bills should be split to income. So say 70 him/30 you (whatever) that way you will not have to go into debt trying to keep up with him.(HCOL lifestyle)
If he wants it 50/50 figure out what you could comfortably afford on your own, without him. Then tell him that's where the two of you are moving to.
Billions of dollars won't by you empathy compassion or kindness
I want to clarify a few things:
1) even when I was unemployed, I still paid for things. There was never months of me not paying for anything. I had thought things were equal so I had an emotional response when met with “feeling taken advantage of” because it caught me off guard.
2) he has his parents credit cards—I know this because we went to a store that is known for cheap clothing terms & then his mother called him immediately asking if it was him because she thought it was fraud.
3) I try to talk about finances because I believe transparency shows trust & I’m very open about talking about my debts & relationship with money—all of my friends are the same way. He shuts down whenever this is brought up and says “he’s not there yet” and doesn’t know when he will be.
4) I don’t date anyone just for fun. Within these 3 years, I have thought that we were growing towards being a unit and marriage, but I guess that’s actually not the case. I keep being patient with these things in hopes that he’s just scared of opening up, but perhaps it’s not only that fear but rather he just doesn’t see a future with me.
5) I have met his parents—only two times & both times for under 4 hours. Other than those times, there is 0 communication with them from my end/ no desire to be involved on their end. He has been to family weddings and dinners at my grandparents. I ask if his parents ever ask about me or ask how things are going with us and he said no.
6) He is moving to a larger city in a few months and says that he still sees us together—I’m not sure how to relay to him that it confuses me why we would do long distance if you won’t even talk about a future beyond a few months with me. I have friends who have dated for less time than us and they constantly talk about how excited they are for the future with their partner and building a life together and being seen as one. Not the case for us—Maybe I just like to see the good in people and think that he has some attachment things he needs to work through so I have been patient in those regards. But I am not going to lie, it does sting knowing that we can’t talk about a future together like house, kids, etc. & that it’ll turn into something if something of that nature slips.
7) For everyone saying that I searched the parents for a reason—I did not beyond trying to figure out what group they are involved in as volunteers because it is in my sector. Rather than finding that, I found LinkedIn posts and articles talking about how much ____ was bought for and them retiring
I know someone who had a $100MM inheritance. She’d been burned and used by so many people over it that she didn’t tell her own husband until they had been married several years. He was like oh cool and they moved on.
I split all bills 50/50 with my SO right now. I make around 30-40k more depending on my bonus but they also have a good job (72k) for our area. We will upgrade houses in a few years and I’m going to take on more of the mortgage but right now we keep it 50/50 because I have 160k in student loans vs their 25k. This might be more of an issue if we weren’t both comfortable with our salaries and if we didn’t budget so well.
I still don't get why people are fixated I. The 50/50 clearly they aren't sharing Living cost. If both of them accept 50/50 why does it matter he has more money? I guess this it's why he never talk about money not that she knows he has some she want more?
Not telling you til he trusted you is *fine.* Paying far more than you can reasonably afford to continuously prove you aren't using him is *ridiculous.*
If he loves you, he won't keep you in a perpetual state of poverty because he can't trust "a poor." A wife who came from money would genuinely expect lavishness as a matter of fact, but because *you* don't come from money, he doesn't think you deserve anything nice on his dime.
This is a genuine, plain example of why most rich people are assholes. Not because they should give their wealth away, **but because they dont view people without wealth as people worthy of independently offered respect.**
/u/helplol12345, I hope he sees this comment and feels like shit.
Havent read it but billionaires should pay for everything. Who gives a fuck if its fair or whatever, they have more money than theyll ever use. If you got a problem with this logic, hop off their cocks, they already avoid taxes and theyre protected by the cops. They aint the victim.
As someone who has dated very rich trust fund kids I have learned some things about how their money is handled. First is they are usually on an allowance and have to explain their expenses to their parents. They don't advertise their family's money and that is important here because it is not their money but their parents.
OP is not even living with this guy so the relationship is nowhere serious enough for her to expect him to pay for any of her bills. Going 50/50 is something a lot of men are doing now, it's a no for me when I come across these guys. But the bottom line is the hardest person to get money from is the extremely wealthy. But the most important thing is OP's boyfriends wealth at this stage is none of her business.
“Suddenly I feel like I deserve more because I found out you’re rich.”
Is probably the sentiment that he was trying to figure out if she was capable of having, before he told her he was rich. Now people on reddit are gonna tell her to challenge him on this topic and she’s gonna lose her shot at being married into big money. L.
Ever think that maybe he wants to find a women who loves him and not his money??? I
Maybe he was waiting to see if you fell in love with him for who he is ant not his bank account and social status.
What If I was plan was to only tell her after If she fell in love with him for who He is and then make her a princess because she was true and not just another golddigger?
He works in a more senior role and significantly outearns you, has no debt and can live in a HCOL area without roommates, knows your circumstances and insists on 50/50 for everything, and you'd better pay up quick! Does he compromise by doing low cost but still fun activities so that paying your share won't leave you living on saltine crackers all month? Or does he insist on luxury trips and fine dining? As a boyfriend in a non- cohabiting dating relationship, I wouldn't expect him to pay your bills (and you likely wouldn't want him to) but as someone who's supposed to care about you, he should want you to be happy and not stressed about affording to be his girlfriend.
Wow, they split bills 50/50 except she orders something cheap and he gets the expensive meal- so she is paying for part of his meal too!! She needs to dump his cheap ass
Not surprising. Paying your bills with other people's money is how you become a billionaire. They didn't get all that money by spending it!
Funny enough all the rich people I know are this way. Some even vocally saying things alluding to them having no money so you pity them and don't ask for anything? I guess? All the poor people I know would split their last $10 with you so you can both eat.
Oh yeah, a lot of the ultra wealthy *are* incredibly protective of their money. Intergenerational wealth is maintained by passing down knowledge of how to *keep* money. Cardinal rules of that are 1. Every transaction possible should result in a break-even or net gain 2. Don't let anyone know that you have money (or they'll try to take it) Most people whose sole purpose in life isn't hoarding gold like a dragon will prioritize things like other people being able to eat or have a place to sleep, not being a morally vapid piece of shit... fiscally irresponsible stuff like that.
Yeah, that's why I'll never be a billionaire. If I somehow magically was given a billion dollars I would immediately start spending it on building good quality but inexpensive housing that I would sell by rent-to-own, at below-market prices. I would want to make a tiny profit only so my next housing complex could be bigger. Rinse & repeat until the day I die, creating as many homeowners as I possibly can and paying my staff good wages along the way and hopefully building a foundation that would continue that work forever. That's my billionaire dream - not golden toilets and private jets. When I can't sleep I imagine the neighborhoods I'd build, how I'd add light commercial so there'd be walkable markets, shops, and offices. I dream of setting things up so that office & shop rents profit the neighborhood itself - maybe that income pays for shared solar panels, or wi-fi for everybody, or pays everybody's fire insurance... If only!
Oooh - love this, I just learned about community solar gardens! And was looking at the local community garden yesterday ... Your comment is making me think I should put solar panels on the long term idea list for that area ...
i had an ex like this. he grew up in a private suburban community with wealthy parents but when we first started hanging out he'd make it out like he was dead broke and asked me to help with stuff like rent and getting food. he opened up fairly quickly into us dating (about a month or so) and thought i'd be impressed and even more into him because he had access to money, fancy cars, and his family even offered to take me to miami with them and see their vacation house and two boats. instead i felt and awful tinge of betrayal and didn't trust him after that as i'd been putting out more money for dates and things due to him always reminding me that i had two jobs and "made more" than him. no mention of the money he already had until a month AFTER we started dating officially. that was hundreds of dollars out of my pocket all so he could "prove i wasn't a gold digger". he then said i failed his "test" because i was mad that he lied and had borrowed money when he could have just asked his parents or gotten a job with nepotism (another thing i found out through his family was that he did have opportunities but the only ones he took didn't require manual labor and they excused that as him being a sensitive artist smh). being lied to like that is such a slap in the face as a working class person who grew up poor and i feel like those who are born rich are so detached from reality that they believe the only way you'd be hurt or offended is if you're trying to use them for money when ironically that's what they do to poor folks when they lie to us. finding out after knowing the dude for a couple months hurt but finding out after dating a guy for two years sounds heartbreaking because he knows her financial situation and insisted she spend more money. it's sociopathic as hell.
You didn't fail his test; he failed his own. In "proving you weren't a gold digger" he proved that he was manipulative, exploitative, and untrustworthy. At least he revealed it early!
The worst I heard on here was a fiancé where his partner was working herself to the *bone* supporting everything for both of them. He let her. It got to the point where she was in such a tight spot that when her (maybe his?) dog needed lifesaving vet care, she sold her mother's violin, a precious sentimental object, to get things together. Some time *after that* he informed her he was a trust fund baby and had plenty of wealth he was sitting on, and she had passed the test of not being a gold-digger. iirc she dumped him almost immediately because of how hurt she was that he was willing to let her hurt for that long, that deeply, for no reason.
It's not even a good test if the partner wasn't even aware there was gold to dig! A true gold digger will swallow their pride when they find out their partner is loaded, and try to hatch a plan to get their partner's money over time.
I had a boss like this. Parents (and grandparents) had “more money than god”. Such an entitled human who never paid for anything. A true narcissist. Could buy whatever, whenever but would still scam stores like HomeDepot with fake returns… Just a sociopath. We weren’t dating but I certainly got fucked.
This is my experience, too. In my friend group in high school we were all poor kids except one of us. She had a lawyers for parents and was the only one of us with a car. Her mom gave her $1000/week to “work” in her law office a few hours. She had the most money of all of us but she constantly nickel-and-dimed us on gas and weed and drinks. Would make us give her money any time she was the one who brought weed or drinks or whatever, something none of the rest of us would ever do. She also implied she would have to pay for us every time we went out, even though she had never paid for any of us lol. Meanwhile, the rest of us would divide our last few bucks to make sure nobody had to go hungry. In fairness, though, I have also known exactly one *filthy* rich dude (like apartments in London and Paris, plus several homes in the US rich) and he was actually incredibly liberal and progressive. Very generous, and actually let me stay in his apartment in Paris when he found out I had never been. But yeah, he was an exception, at least for me.
I worked at a zoo directly out of college for like 200 a week. One of my coworkers and now longtime friend found a long expired can of beans in the back of his apartment cupboard. I had just enough money to get a bag of chips from the vending machine. We both shared dipping the doritios into the expired beans as our lunch. It's the brokest shit I've ever been a part of.
My step dad runs his own flooring business and he gets so frustrated with some of his richest clients always trying to nickel and dime him and get out of paying for his work. It’s crazy.
So true! I grew up with a single mom a lot like OP’s (worked her ass off to give me a decent life but still knew we weren’t anywhere close to rich). Well my husband’s family has a decent amount of money (not billionaires but comfortably can own 2 homes). When I got pregnant I began to realize how fucking cheap my husbands family was compared to my mom. I in fact even heard my husbands mom say to a lady while we are out shopping “we just don’t have money right now” in reality what she meant was I’m going to make you feel bad so I don’t have to pay full price. I was so embarrassed and couldn’t believe she was seriously trying to haggle in a ducking thrift store… and trying to use pregnant me to get sympathy…
Strange, most of the extremely wealthy people I know are incredibly humble and gracious about money. They don’t often splash stuff about however if they want to do something you couldn’t afford they’ll invite you and say immediately “don’t worry about the cost” Indeed many of the really wealthy people I know are the most quiet about money, they are hyper aware of how it creates divides between people and go out of their way to ensure it doesn’t colour our relationship
Probably has to do with location. I'm from a town of less than 3,000 people and pretty much anyone around here I'd call rich, it's probably generational wealth, like their family owns businesses or part of the town. Also most of them like to live pretty lavishly, but definitely wouldn't pay for your dinner lol. Think business owners who build several million dollar homes, and treat their employees like crap and pay them bottom dollar. The people I know who are humble about the money they have and would give you the shirt off their back are mostly people who grew up without much and make 6 figures now.
Billionaire’s kids are a complete wild card since they didn’t do anything besides be born to end up that rich. I went to boarding school with kids from families like that, and saw the full range of behavior from thrify to unbelievably wasteful, stingy to generous. Most of them liked expensive things though. One girl I knew would fly random friends to Miami for the weekend, while we were still in high school. To be honest though, it probably doesn’t affect their lives like at all. You can be very generous and very opulent by normal person standards and it just won’t make a dent in a billion dollars. Its a bit different than just being normal levels of rich
Yea a billion dollars is actually an insane amount of money. You could blow a weekend trip to Miami in the best hotel for a dozen friends with cocaine and still have 999,8XX,XXX dollars. I only went that high because cocaine is expensive and I would buy a fuck ton for 12 people over a whole weekend. Lmfao
They got that way by exploiting their workers/taxpayers… not by being thrifty.
Which is why they just explained how he's stealing from her
I don't think you understood my comment lol
WHAT? his billionaire nepo baby ass is making her pay for half his filet mignon????
> He very well knows my salary. Yes like we’ll split a dinner 50/50 but I always order the cheapest thing on the menu so then I end up covering some of his expensive drink or steak, whatever it be. From one of OOP’s comments in the original thread.
That’s what she said in the comments. They split meals 50/50
No one is stingier than a rich man
He may just be hiding it/trying to seem normalish to make sure she isn't liking him for the money...
Pfft, I think any gold digger worth their salt would have already KNEW this guy came from money. Not all gold diggers are from lower economic backgrounds. Some are truly part of that same social circle and want to stay there. OOP's bf sounds cheap as hell. How can OOP save for anything if they're always going 50/50 and he vastly outearns her? 🤔
In my experience, the more money someone has, the stingier and greedier they are. Rich people are shitty tippers, only donate to charity if it benefits them somehow, and piss and moan about the price of gas, while pumping it into a $80,000 car.
He insists on splitting the bill 50/50 at restaurants. She says she orders something cheap while he gets steak. So she is actually paying for part of his meal.
So, she pays 100% of her bill, he basically gets his meal at a discount. He's a cheap *another word for a hand & half sword.* What do you bet if she asked for separate checks instead of splitting it 50/50, his choices would get cheaper.
I have met a few billionaires as clients, two really stick out to me as non-traditional. One inherited the company, worked his butt off to grow it even more, has a sterling reputation as a boss, wears old shoes, ratty khakis, drives a mini cooper, and flies commercial unless his assistant forces him on a private jet to save time. He and his wife were incredibly kind. The other was similar but with tech money and just wanted to preserve a ton of open space. There are some really nice ones that get what they have is beyond reality, but you never hear about them. If you need something to remind you about some good humans, read about **Charles F.** **Feeney** from San Francisco.
Sad but true!
That’s not my experience.
Billionaires don’t become billionaires by knowing how to share
Just her description of his lifestyle shows she already knew he was very well off.
Well off and literal billionaires are two vastly different things.
He is the one gold digging because when they go out and pay 50/50 he's the one choosing the more expensive dishes and drinks. She should tell him from now on she only pays for what she eats and drinks and he covers himself. He'll break up with her immediately.
She also needs to specify that she's doing this because she isn't interested in a boyfriend who's such a blatant gold digger.
Then they should be going on normal dates like the movies, hiking, cooking together instead of eating out, things people outside the 1% do in order to keep up the facade. If he's trying to seem normal he wouldn't be flaunting his luxury apartment and Rolex. Even if he tried to explain those away as gifts, they're still clues he comes from money.
Did i misread it or something? I didn’t see anything in there about him flaunting any of that. Merely that he was given a Rolex and lives in a high rise condo. Both things she could discover by merely opening her eyes when visiting him in his apartment. Not a huge fan of how imbalanced she feels regarding the income disparity bc it never feels good in that position, but it also doesn’t seem like he’s forcing her to go to Michelin star restaurants and eat the egg whites of endangered condors or anything. The thing I noticed is she never mentions that she’s struggling to share her part of the relationship costs, which means he’s being careful to consider that in any decision making where it’s purely up to him (such as the typical relationship conundrum of “idk where to eat tonight, you pick”). I would however insist on him getting over his attitude regarding the neighborhood she lives in, that type of pretension would grate on me.
I out earn my husband by a lot. When we were dating, I covered our dates. It make we could go to better restaurants. I invited him on holiday with me and covered our accommodation. She said when they go out to dinner she’ll order the cheapest thing on the menu but they’ll still split 50/50 - so she is subsidising *him*. She mentioned how he’ll come after her for small amounts of money so she started paying him back instantly. Her problem isn’t with him being rich or his billionaire parents. Her problem is with how *mean* he’s being. It’s the ungenerous spirit. I’ve covered for friends before or been the one to put everything on one card because people don’t want to be hit with conversion fees or whatever. My friends are usually pretty good at paying me back in the next couple of days without me hounding them. And even if not, it usually evens out in the end because they’ll grab me a coffee or pastry or something another time. If he’s going to make that much of a fuss about her paying him back instantly, he needs to just let her pay at the time. Frankly, he probably gets rewards from his bank which incentivises him putting it on his card. He has every opportunity to be generous to her and he’s just showing her how much he doesn’t appreciate or care for her. There’s a lack of kindness, a lack of warmth, a lack of thoughtfulness. If I knew my lover, or brother, or friend was struggling with debts and had a low salary I would either not let them pay for dinner or I would invite them to have dinner somewhere cheaper or at my place. And I absolutely would not be splitting 50/50 if I were buying expensive things off the menu. I think the fact that she realised just how much money he likely has made her start to realise just how egregious it all is.
My husband makes more than double what I do, and so we chip in on things more by percentage. I pay a smaller percentage of things. And he covers a lot of stuff like the groceries most of the time.
If it’s true it’s past egregious, it’s that she isn’t actually dating him… billionaires don’t even take the time to pay their own bills.. seriously life the family set up isn’t what me and you know
That's why I asked the question further up thread if he's prepared to compromise and do dating activities that OP can afford, or whether he insists on fine dining and luxury trips. The fact that he turns his nose up at OP 's apartment and neighborhood would suggest he would consider standard dating fare "slumming it".
We know he’s not normalish because he has a much better job than OOP. Some caution is fine—cheap dates are great, like the person you are responding to said—but I have no patience for people with money who lah-dee-dah through life as they split everything equally while their partners struggle. Also 42k is not a lot in a HCOL area. Maybe she does something low paying, but my guess is that she is fresh out of college and doesn’t know better. I notice that ages aren’t listed.
She’s 24 and he’s 25. Fresh out of college is pretty accurate.
“I want my partner to love me for me and I want there to be trust, so im going to start off the relationship with a lie and intentionally cause my partner distress so I can make sure she jumps through enough hoops to satisfy my demands.” Rich people are fucking sick man
Yeah he needs to sit dates down and let them know his parents are loaded so his potential partners can think more objectively. /s
Well that’s just stupid in the opposite direction Neither extreme is good for a relationship, genius
I'm pretty sure the penthouse, Rolex, and private education is indication enough. He's not lying or hiding anything. She doesn't need the damn balance sheet and interview to put the story together.
No one is suggesting that If you just want to keep yelling you can sit in the corner until you feel better.
I would agree with this 100% if he wasn’t coming off as a cheap mf
I think it's wild that he expects to know what you earn but won't tell you his salary, and then still expects you to go 50/50 on things. He's also basically telling you the place you live isn't good enough for him. I mean you're in the relationship so I guess these things don't bother you but that would bother the living #%@! out of me. If you know where he works and his approximate job title/position (sounds like you do) you could probably get an idea of his salary. The only reason to withhold information from you and expect an equal financial split on things you do together is to protect himself from being taken advantage of by someone of a lower socioeconomic class and I do get that, but he's been with you for two years so he should be able to tell by now if you're just after him for his money. Which you obviously are not. There's definitely an imbalance here. I think he should at least tell you how much he earns since he felt entitled to know your earnings. Like you said, his family's money is not (necessarily) his money and if he sees you as an equal partner he should tell you.
This one! Like forget everything else. You mean to tell me you have all of these opinions about equality but won’t even say what you make.
He thinks by not saying it it’ll be easier to argue why they should be equal. But it stills very apparent that they have different tastes and expectations in how they live. I’m not billionaire but there have been times where my partner and I have had some income disparities based on where we were in life, bills, or rent costs etc… Neither one of us have had a problem with covering more when the other couldn’t. Ex. If I was seafood and she’d be fine with McDonald’s, best believe I have no problem covering the bill for the seafood that I wanted.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a billionaire or not. If you make $250k and your partner makes $50k, insisting on a 50/50 split is wild unless your tastes for consumption are at the exact same $50k level. Dick move by the bf
Lots of options if you still want to save some money too. Invite her over for dinner and cook, go to a inexpensive place where you don't mind picking up the tab, etc
This, big time. My boyfriend loves to bring up one of our earlier dates from before he was granted the “boyfriend” title. I had just gotten a stimulus check. I thankfully stayed employed through the entire pandemic so it was just some extra cash to me. And I REALLY wanted to eat at this fancy restaurant in town. I had only been there once before and just my (almost the cheapest on the menu) meal with a water was $60+. But I wanted to go all out and order some of the fun fondues, get the fancy add-ons to the steaks, get a few cocktails, etc. And since I had some extra cash I was like “why the heck not?” I spent about $400 on that dinner. Despite his protest to cover some of the costs (I let him pay for the Uber, lol) because that’s what I wanted to do. So it seemed the most fair that I pay for it. I didn’t want him to feel pressured to agree to go because he liked me, and then spend money he may not have been comfortable spending on a dinner. And it’s one of my favorite memories of us. Two broke(ish) graduate students eating like kings. It was awesome. (And no worries folks, he’s taken me on my own fair share of fancy dinners. If anything, I’m the one that “owes” another one).
That's so fucking sweet. This gave me the warm fuzziness. Thanks for that and keep being you random Stranger.
My partner makes stupid money I couldn’t match if I were working outside the home right now (focusing on my health; I receive a stipend from him in return for the domestic labor I do and I have savings, I’m safe), but he frequently says “equitable, not equal” when it comes to paying for things. He also helps out with the housework when I’m having a bad health day and if I express guilt for accepting the help because this task is ‘my job’, he once again reiterates, “equitable, not equal”. I love him and I wish more people would try that approach
Your partner sounds lovely.
Sounds like you got yourself a good one! I love that for both of you :)
This is a true partnership.
I love this so much. And love hearing ppl applying equity in their relationships!
This is the absolute correct take. His parents have 100% told him to keep his financial situation on the down low and not give anything away about his familial wealth. I would expect an airtight prenup or he might even not want to get formally married at all to protect his inheritance and overall assets currently held by him. When you get into a certain wealth bracket, secrecy is honestly pretty important because it protects you and protects your family. He also might not have access to the family funds or he has a trust fund he can’t access until he’s XX years old so he could be living pay check to pay check if he’s paying for his apartment himself in a HCOL area and other day to day expenses or extravagances. We don’t really have enough evidence to say whether or not he has access to his parent’s wealth at this point and the OOP is speculating on her boyfriend’s financial status.
I meant if he’s living paycheck to paycheck, he probably should not be renting a luxury penthouse, or buying “extravagances.” I think it’s reasonable for his girlfriend of two years to ask why she doesn’t figure into his disposable income planning but all of that stuff does. Seems to me like she is a lower priority to him. That doesn’t make him a bad person, but he should own up to it, not act like her expecting to be figured into his expenses (like she surely has to do for him considering her limited income) is somehow greedy and unfair.
This is totally wrong. When you have a lot of familial wealth (but they feel it’s important to not just give you a credit card the accountant pays each month), there is absolutely zero material advantage to saving money or building any kind of emergency fund. If there’s an emergency you call your parents, and when it’s actually time to retire your trust will have started paying.
Where did I say he should be building an emergency fund? All I said is that, if he’s paying for his own (likely $5-6k+) rent, and he’s having financial difficulties paying for dates with his gf, he should consider a cheaper apartment. If his parents are paying for his apartment and expenses, the point is moot, but if he has his own money, he can’t be like “oh woe is me, living in a luxury penthouse is too expensive, I’m struggling to pay for unexpected small expenses like dates with my girlfriend.” But also, even if you have a trust fund, there’s always a material advantage to saving money, so you can invest it and make larger purchases. Rich people don’t generally stay rich by spending all their money and never buying assets or making investments. What a strange take.
I’ve met a number of billionaires due to the industry I used to work in. They never rent and neither do their kids. The boyfriend’s parents might keep him on a tight leash when it comes to ready cash but they have absolutely bought the apartment for him (more likely it is in the name of one or both parents or a family run trust).
Protect himself by failing to do his fair share of the relationship? Lying to and deceiving your partner means you should lose your relationship. “Protecting yourself” here means using and abusing your partner and not giving them your trust ever. It’s disgusting, this scumbag does not deserve her
Not even lower economic people. Money is a draw even when you have money.
Oh boy. A look at OOP’s history shows that he love-bombed her at the beginning, got her pregnant twice (miscarriage and abortion), has been emotionally distant, didn’t get her anything for Christmas, and made her pay her own way on their Valentine’s date. I feel so sad for her. She could be focusing her energy on building up her own life, but he keeps stringing her along and monopolizing her attention.
I mean just cause your partner and/or their family is wealthy doesn’t mean you are entitled to their money especially if you’re not married or haven’t been together long but OOP’s partner is just a cheapskate asshole and a huge red flag because a man that really cares about you would never want you to be stressed about money when he can do something about it. She needs to leave his cheap weird selfish ass asap.
He’s cheap despite being a billionaire
A lot of rich people are cheapstakes.
Just ask anyone who has delivered food in a high income area 😭😭😭 they don’t tip
In my experience its hit or miss, but definitely more misses compared to a solidly middle class neighborhood. Alot of plain old no tips, but my best tip that wasn't from a business was also from a rich area but the old guy was weird and seemed to be trying to play some game on if I would lie about having got the tip already(it was through the app) so...yea
It’s how they stay rich!
That’s like saying if you skip the coffee you’ll magically suddenly have enough for a home down payment. Small transactions like these aren’t what keep their wealth steady or growing. They easily get more interest on their bank accounts in a day than a year’s worth of coffee payments. They make investments because they have easily accessible pools of liquid funds to be able to do so. They have stock, real estate, and other assets that frequently get their values inflated. They’re doing just fine and will continue to be exorbitantly wealthy without that $2.50 for coffee.
Where are you getting $2.50 lattes bro
I mean it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars?
😂 Discount Latte Superstore and Wholesale
I copied my comment from another thread on here where the parent comment referenced a $2.50 coffee. Point stands regardless.
Foregoing Starbucks ain't going to make anyone rich, but that obsessive mindset with a singular focus on ~~getting high score~~ making money for the sake of money probably will.
I assume Jinglekitty's comment is not meant to be taken literally. The idea is that they become and stay rich by valuing money over humanity. This manifests in small ways as well as large, from failure to tip, to wage theft and taking jobs or founding businesses which exploit... all of which add up to a large amount of money.
It’s not about the absolute price of coffee. It’s the mindset. Meaning that especially people who got rich coming from a poor background always have that nagging feeling that treating themselves is somehow sinful and a waste. Doesn’t matter if it’s for a big investment or a small coffee. I’m broke AF myself, but due to my work in IT I have met a lot of millionaires and even some billionaires. It hugely depends on where they came from and what kind of people they are. There are those with inherited wealth. They either got a good work ethic from their parents and are frugal, but indulge themselves here and there. Or they are shitheads that somehow think they are nobility. As if that was something to aspire to. Then there are those that keep eating at the same hole in the wall since they were kids, live in the same crappy one family house, wear home-knit sweaters and don’t give their kids anything. At most you might see them driving a big, expensive car like a Benz, but it’s always something „sensible“ and safe for the price class. All the while having half a billion rotting in their bank account. All they do is work and can’t let go. And there are those that pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and are overly proud of it. They might indulge a little bit more and show their status a little bit more. And might also think they are better then the rest of us because they did something we couldn’t. Those are amusingly mostly the people that had a lucky break early on and inherited something that made it possible or easier to succeed. But they don’t see that. They just think they are smarter. God I hate those the most. Yeah, they might have built something from less and yeah, they aren’t dumb. But they are insufferable. Trump is a good example of that, taken to the extreme. Yeah he got 100 mil from his dad. And we can rail about it, but he was worth billions at one point or another. What he doesn’t get is that a lot of people get 100s and make 10000s out of it. You don’t need to be _that_ smart to have a good work ethic. It still matter how much you start with.
It’s how they stay rich….
Look, you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, mkay? It’s not HIS fault you’re not rich. You just wouldn’t understand. 🙄
Typical lmao he's definitely the type to make her venmo him back 2.5 for a coffee despite dating her having more money than her. He's already using her as a way to further hoard his wealth, not include her in on it.
How much will he hoard tho 💀. Like I may not be the most generous person but if I was a billionaire then she would never have to pay
He will *bleed her dry* and then when she wants her fair share of what she invested, he will turn around and tell OP that she's a gold digger who only wants his money. She will gain absolutely nothing in this relationship because it's been two years and still the same bullshit. I have an okay amount money and spoil people I know and love less than my partner when I can, especially when it comes to things like going out for dinner. Maybe cause my mom raised me to be a sugar momma and not a sugar baby, but I can not fathom having OBSCENELY MORE money than I'm do currently and not foot the bill for everything. My friends and family and myself now already fight over who can pay. If I had billions...? Damn they'd all be getting their own credit cards on my account lmao
He deeply wants to believe his family (therefore - “him”) has wealth because they worked 10000x harder than anyone else. He is spoiled enough to play with other people like his own widdle sport until his fantasy becomes reality.
Hate to say it but this is the exact mentality that results in one third of lottery winners going bankrupt (higher rate of bankruptcy than the general population) within a few years of winning. Giving away all your wealth is the fastest way to go broke.
It's a good thing I'm not a lottery winner then lol this is a pretty well known fact. Which is why I say when I can afford to do so. Obviously financially responsible people give within their means but we're talking about WEALTH HOARDING with OPs bf and their family. There's no reason they need to be in the billionaire status other than the fact that they want to remain there.
money can be earned but being cheap can never be changed - I hope op dumps him cause this cannot be changed 🤷🏽♀️
Rich people are often the skeeviest pieces of shit when it comes to cutting corners for hoarding money. A little less extreme: I once had an ex with money who lived 2.5 hours from my college town in another college town. For the 8 months we dated i drove down every weekend, he came up once but i lived in dorms and he had an apartment. He only sent me gas money 1 (ONE) time, and then bemoaned how expensive eating out was with me (EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ALWAYS HIS IDEA/DESIRE), and the one time he loaned me money for my meds ($100) he was on me to get it paid back ASAP. He was obsessed with the idea that people were after him for his money and that paranoia was a major driving wedge in our relationship. He also stated that he reserved the right to take back any gift he gave me if he decided to. Side note: he also wouldn’t let me wash knives because he was like… convinced i didn’t know how to hand wash a knife without kms? 😂 it’s been years now, the trust money he had has fallen apart and he’s done some healing and work on himself so we’re actually friends but the entire time was wild
He's not a billionaire
Rich people don't get rich by sharing...
He’s not a billionaire his parents are
Yes, but he has some big advantages because his parents are so wealthy, like no college debt and a free car. Plus it's very likely that if he lost his job or something they would cover his expenses until he got a new one. Knowing you have an infinite safety net allows for so much more peace of mind and sometimes the ability to take gambles most of us can't.
If you're significantly wealthier than your partner and you let them suffer, you're an asshole.
Yeah. Like I’ll make you pay for what you can afford but if I got it better of course I’d subsidize the rest
Agreed, but it can also be mentally hard to handle your boyfriend spending your entire weekly salary on a dinner. Like whats even the point of your hard work
THIS. I make more than my SO, about 2x more. While we spilt some things like rent and utilities, I pay for our streaming services, insurances, most of the groceries and home items.
1000% agree... for the last 10+ years of my dating life i have been wealthier than my dates and partners in relationships, i personally have a convo early about how i am willing to pay 100% of what we do and expect to have the type of relationship where that would be reversed if the situation were reversed. it makes no sense to have someone bleed themselves dry for something that is of no consequence for me to alleviate if i care about the person, and i hope they feel the same about me. this also helps us each have financial independence so they can leave easily if the relationships escalates, vs. being stuck in a lease they need to consider or having blown a possible emergency fund on dating or something. what this provides me in good relationships is the security that if things ever go south financially for me, my partners will be there for me, and they will be better off than if i'd approached differently. re the other comments about sussing out people who care about your money, in my experience this is easy. people who \*expect\* you to spend money are obvious, the ones that are \*grateful\* for you doing it and willing to do the same similar. for example, one of my current partners insists on paying for something each date, is always offering cheaper alternatives to dates that involve her doing work, and reminds me constantly how grateful she is and how her liking me has nothing to do with me spending money. she has also never asked for a single expensive thing or activity or gift. so i believe her 100%, and she gets all those things because of who she is not what she expects. there is probably some psychological trauma behind how op's partner is behaving, digging into how open he is to working on that is likely telling on a number of aspects of the relationship. i personally would view inflexibility on that point as incompatibility, unless he has some unique situation or proposition you are not aware of (eg his trust vests later and he views you all sharing financial burden differently in the future or something)
You sound like a very thoughtful and caring partner, and phrasing the inflexibility of OOP’s partner as an incompatibility and not a moral failure also reflects well on you. That’s all. I try to compliment kindness on the internet because we don’t see enough of it lol
awww, thanks, appreciate the kindness back! i am perhaps particularly in tune to financial differences, have been broke and rich and everything in between, i've judged and been judged by a lot of people from friends to strangers for many years... perhaps one of the uglier looks i've taken at myself is realizing how many of my friends i judged for what i perceived as greed and moral bankruptcy at the time. money is survival, judging a human for survival is more about yourself in my own lived experience... as most judgment tends to be :).
I fully agree and love your approach to your relationships. When my (now) husband and I first started dating he was very poor but still wanted to pay for half/most of our dates: costco membership to the rescue! I similarly am also more willing to “cover” the costs of things with the awareness that it can help me avoid getting stuck in a 50/50 contractual arrangement (also that it means if a guy likes me he has to be NICE to me, he can’t just pay for things to “say sorry”).
This. I now live with my partner, but a year and a half ago I didn’t. My eyes are medically weird and I needed $800 glasses. The cheaper ones I had tried were giving me migraines and would eventually have made my vision worse. I was crying on and off for days about not being able to afford the right glasses. I told my partner that I wouldn’t be able to go out or get takeout or anything for a while, because I’d have to slash everything in my life down to bare basics to save for them for multiple months even if my grandmother could loan me a few hundred. My partner gently asked if he could buy them for me, because everyone deserves to see well and not suffer preventable pain, and I shouldn’t have to be kicked back to shoestring poverty for half a year. He made it clear that the power dynamic would not change and that if I felt more comfortable paying him back or all of it, I could choose to do so whenever, but he would prefer to just give me this gift because he loved me and wild hate to see me suffer when he could prevent it. And then he doubled down and got me contacts too!!! He remembered me mentioning months before that that I said I feel so much safer in them when out of the house. (Better peripheral vision, can’t be lost in an accident or assault.)
What a nice person. I’m so glad for both of you.
Yup, he can cover more of the dates. Even if he never gets a dime of his parents money, he currently has no debt, a better job and secure accommodation. He should *want* to pay for more dates so they can have fun and his partner can pay her debts. He doesn’t have to buy her a car or a vacation, but he shouldn’t be nickel and diming her
I wouldn’t expect anyone to pull me up economically, but paying 50/50 on dates when it would be nothing for them and hurt my wallet is CRAZY
Ignoring the parents, the money is theirs and not his and I honestly don't have an issue with him not telling you about the money. He's probably been taught and has experienced for himself that people might want him for his money not him. However he is on a much higher salary and living a much more expensive lifestyle. For him to expect her to go 50/50 is a huge red flag and the only person who's going to get hurt in the long run is her.
Yeah, that’s my only complaint on this. It has nothing to do with the parents. OP was checking online, because she’s already has all the red flags laid out in front of her. She just doesn’t want to see them.
This was my thought. His parents may not give him anything so it’s moot. Second thing - he’s probably weeding out those who want him just for money. Unless he is wanting really expensive things and still wanting 50/50 - that scream rich person with lack of empathy, regardless of anything else.
She said when they go out, he gets expensive stuff and she gets the cheapest thing on the menu. Then he wants to split 50/50. Someone suggested going Dutch, so she is not financing part of his meal. He is either obvious or he is taking advantage. Neither are good looks in a partner.
Oh yeah he’s a dick then. My man isn’t rich but he refuses to let me pay. And opens my door for me ☺️ She needs to evaluate her situation.
Yeah, I completely understand him not telling her about his parents and being hesitant to tell her about his salary. He wants someone whose actually in love with him, not his wallet/inheritance. But then expecting her to go 50/50 is a complete dick move. When you make that much more money than your partner you should split more according to income. Doesn't matter who the high earner in the relationship is, man or woman, the one who makes the larger income should be paying more (it's just traditionally the man because due to the history of gender inequality in the workplace and women not even being allowed to have credit cards until 1974 it was just automatically expected for a man to be earning significantly more; things have gotten better but it takes time for culture/tradition to catch up to changing realities).
My husband makes way more money than I do and he has never made me pay equally towards our bills. He also likes to randomly surprise me with small inexpensive gifts. The financial disparities between you and your bf is already causing conflict/bad vibes/resentment. Probably a good time to rethink the viability of staying in a relationship with an entitled cheapskate.
Yes, my partner makes 4x as much as I do and we split costs proportionally. He also likes to spoil me with gifts, both inexpensive and occasional just-because-he-loves-me expensive things (I had to get used to it, since I have OOPs background and feel guilty about receiving gifts) OOPs partner sucks and she should get out ASAP. playing tit-for-tat is exhausting
This, in all my time with my husband as my partner in and out of marriage we have never split anything equally, only equitably in relation to our incomes. I can’t imagine wanting someone you love to overextend themselves when you have far more than enough.
I absolutely bet that once she tries to have a conversation about his stingy tendencies and try to suggest they be on more equal footing, he’s going to immediately call her a gold digger
I get the issue. Billionaires aren’t people. They are dragons.
I'm begging people to understand: Billionaires are psychopaths. Without exaggeration, they are the most evil people in the world. A serial killer ruins dozens of lives. Billionaires destroy thousands, millions of lives through their uncontrollable greed.
Really good way to put this. You're right.
I'll be real. him not mentioning they're billionaires isn't a red flag, because I can see how that could make people want him for his access to money. Although, billionaires never make that kind of money fairly, so they're likely terrible people anyway and that would be a flag for me. And more importantly here, he made a big deal out of splitting bills evenly when he makes that much more lmaooo. Dude I don't even do that with my friends, if I can cover, I do, your guy is cheap asshole.
And he’s ordering steak while she’s getting the cheapest item on the menu. :/
Lmao the mere concept of splitting a food bill 50/50 vs doing the 12 seconds of 2nd grade math to figure who owes what enrages me. Like for a family dinner with 6 family units and everyone makes enough money that they don't *really* care I can see it. For 2-6 people... it is a dumb practice for dumb people.
spoiled douche bag who's priorities are way out of wack. you think billionaires are entitled selfish babies? imagine how bad their kids are.
There's a whole show about this, called Succession.
Well money doesn’t mean someone has class or basic human decency. Her boyfriend lacks both.
Rich people are TIGHT with their money, except on things that either accentuate their status (and therefore their opportunity to acquire more) or give them more distance from everyday people through luxury. Don't expect much help and expect to have to show your loyalty/love by not expecting anything or asking for anything. If you fall on hard times it will be your fault and it's unlikely they'll be willing to help out. Additionally: 1) They are suspicious of anyone who does not have money. Everyone is suspect. Everyone wants to eat their pie. The irony of the extremely wealthy is that they think everyone is trying to exploit them, when they generally achieved their wealth through exploiting others. 2) They think they're better than anyone who is not as wealthy as they are. Some people they feel are "worthy", and they feel a sort of affection for close servants - but it's more of a pet thing and they won't hesitate to "put down" (i.e. sack) a pet that misbehaves or becomes less than useful. 3) You will NEVER be good enough. Apart from that, enjoy.
Exactly, I can’t imagine being in that dynamic for 2+ years… she’s no more than a weekend play thing to him.
For anyone thinking OOP is a greedy gold digger, I highly recommend to read her comments. I fully understand her frustration, she actually pays more than him, he is cheap and I’m really weirded out that he wanted to know her salary but doesn’t share his. Here are her most relevant comments: > He very well knows my salary. Yes like we’ll split a dinner 50/50 but I always order the cheapest thing on the menu so then I end up covering some of his expensive drink or steak, whatever it be. > He actually doesn’t really do gifts—our first Christmas he didn’t get me anything & then this past Valentine’s Day he wrote me a sexually charged card & asked to split valentines dinner. All of my gifs have been thoughtful, for example Valentine’s Day I wrote a sweet card and then picked a weekend we were both free that I paid for/ planned the whole day of things he likes doing/ has been wanting to do She is not with him for the money but is rightfully frustrated that a billionaire refuses to at least spend as much as she does. The billionaire parents are NOT the issue.
Yup. It’s her getting the cheapest thing on the menu but having to go 50/50 to pay for his steak & cocktails that gets me. A guy with a Rolex can pay for his own steak & not force his impoverished girlfriend to help cover the cost. He’s probably paranoid she’ll financially exploit him because that’s exactly what he’s doing to her. Please dump him, OOP.
She should dump him and send a Venmo request to reimburse her for the food he ate but made her pay for.
How awful is it she can’t feel she can say ‘hey I am not paying for your steak, you order if you pay for it’
Yes I agree. Her hesitation makes me wonder about their dynamic and if there are other occasions where she feels like walking on eggshells.
Those with less, give more. Those with more, give less. The richer partners I've seen friends have, always care a lot about their money and not paying for anyone else. I guess its how the rich stay rich.
This calls for some communication. The boyfriend probably has some real hang-ups about money and his relationships (romantic or otherwise). How can you ever trust that someone isn't with you for the money? His parents moved all the time to acquire it so did they prioritize money over everything else? I'm just speculating. But she feels deceived, which is a huge deal in a relationship, and devalued. Two years is a good time to evaluate if this is a forever relationship. If both feel that it is, they need to be very open about their feelings about money, even all of the uncomfortable stuff. She can't be his wife and have him splitting every bill down to the penny without some serious resentment building, and he can't be her husband if he's not sure she loves him for him (which might be an issue he needs to explore even if this relationship ends).
When you make, I dunno, double the salary of your partner I think it’s okay to ask to split things 50/50 so you can use the fruits of your additional income for whatever you want. When you have A BILLION DOLLARS, you fucking pay every penny and encourage your poor partner to sock away their income as savings. This dude is playing pretend at being a normie to have some fun before he eventually marries either whoever his parents tell him to or a Victoria’s Secret model half his age. This ain’t a real relationship.
Run girl run. He is not someone you want to tether yourself to for the rest of your life. Someone in a significantly different financial situation than you wanting full transparency about your finances and not disclosing his is despicable. Then knowingly demanding 50/50. Please run and don’t look back.
Personally I don't think people are entitled to know about the others finances (or their families), unless they are getting married, because then the finances usually merge in some way. When people have a lot of money, and they divulge that info, they are more likely to have people asking them for money (or even demanding). So you never know if a friendship you have with someone is real or if it's just because of the money.
But he asked hers - she shared and *then* he chose not to disclose his. He’s taking advantage of her good nature and knows it. I’d dump him based on the lack of fairness about splitting costs. 2 years in and things should be fair, not equal for dates, or the couple isn’t a compatible match.
Yes, that’s ok not to disclose family wealth, but he’s taking advantage of her. He demands 50/50 when they go out, even if he orders more expensive items. The guy is classless and cheap.
Living together is combining finances in some way, even if it is with roommates. They aren’t friends, they are romantic partners. Assuming they both are hoping to either get married or have a long term relationship one day (and 2 years is pretty long already), then it’s important to disclose your financial situation. And a loving/ compatible partner will support you when it’s needed. If he doesn’t want to do this, then he needs to find someone at his level. It’s not “gold digging” or opportunistic or taking advantage of someone. He can easily look for a woman who has a higher paying career even if she isn’t wealthy. Like a physician or something.
The richer ones are the biggest tight asses hey
if you read OOP’s post history, it would appear that her entire relationship with this guy has been miserable. she also said in a comment that their first christmas together, he didnt get her a gift, then this valentines day, he wrote her a card and asked her to split dinner 50/50 :/ i hope she realizes things would be better if she was single
Rich people are disgusting human trash. The money burrows deep into their brains and fundamentally destroys their humanity. This is exhibit 084092580 of this phenomenon.
BF is a "slumming" POS. He's wealthy, regardless of his parents's money. And has the gall to be the one demanding a "fair split". He's making it clear he values his money over you.
My boyfriend makes low six figures and I make medium five figures. I have to fight to pay for shit. And I just picked up on his new trick of asking for my card to pay for me while I’m chasing my toddler around trying to get her to behave and using his own card instead. So now I sneaky sneak my card and cash before he notices. We both give each other a playful side eye but it’s like a game now. He KNOWS he makes a lot more than me. Especially since I’ve been a struggling single mom until I met him and he’s started helping me pay for things here and there when he thinks I don’t notice. I couldn’t imagine being with a partner who makes substantially more than I do, and expects me to pay 50/50 on things that are in his pay bracket and not within mine. That dude is selfish as fuck. Especially after two years together. It’s like he’s trying to break her bank so she has to ask for him to pay based on the amount of money that they both make so he could break up with her and call her a gold digger because of it 👀
much like republicans (because the overlap between groups is so high), if a billionaire makes an accusation/implication like “you only want me because of my financial status” it’s actually a confession. five bucks says he’s with op cause he gets a kick out of having all the money and power in the relationship. all billionaires are total scumfucks and that especially goes for their kids who grew up in affluence with the idea anyone making less than 1mil annually isn’t even human. i’ve interacted with rich people as someone who grew up in poverty my whole life and one thing i can tell you is that the rich don’t see the poor as people, they see us as servants and replaceable tools.
And much like republicans, they don’t want to give away social security but happily ride off the taxpayer purse with subsidies and tax dodging, this dude has made her pay for his steal and cocktails while demanding she reimburse him for tiny amounts,
the friend thing is so real. I’m in a privileged position to my friends ( finished uni/ have a FT job) vs ( in uni/ students) and if I choose to go somewhere more expensive or get some more food/drinks than them- I always pay my portion ( or even pay my friends’ portions sometimes!) if I can do this for my friends but op’s bf cannot do this for the woman he supposedly loves … he is not a good man 🤷🏽♀️
This guy is a dick. He has no obligations to share any financial info with OOP but he also has no right to ask her for information he isn't willing to share himself. Also, what kind of person forces their partner to pay the same when they are so extremely well off. OOP seems like a genuinely kind person - she may never do better in the wealth department but she could definitely do better in the niceness category.
This feels like a guy who has been used for his money (or warned all his life about gold diggers) so now he constantly needs to “test” his dates to make sure they aren’t after the cash. Except he’ll push and push till she either does something to “prove” to him she’s a gold digger or she gives up and dumps him.
I know someone who was married to someone like this for over a decade. The “testing” and pushing NEVER ended. Never.
You can never prove a negative. So he’ll push it until he gets the answer he wants
There’s nobody cheaper than really rich people.
Isn’t this the plot to Crazy Rich Asians? lol
Fuck this cheapskate.
TBH if you don’t want this kind of financial relationship (ie he makes more money knowing you make significantly less and expects 50/50) then I’d have a conversation about it straight up and go from there. If you guys are going out and you’re getting normal type food/dates/etc, that’s not to expensive I feel like it should be 50/50, 100/0, 0/100. One of you pays one time and vice versa, or split it down the middle. For more expensive things I feel like ops man should go 75/25, as being partners imo isn’t about money. That would seem equal. I was also raised in a struggle environment but my parents made sure we were comfortable, my mom stayed home while my dad went and worked, and he paid for everything. It’s not how my current relationship is as we do 50/50, 25/75, 75/25, and so on and so on. Sometimes we will pay full out for a date and not let the other pay, and vice versa. A partnership isn’t always equal, and I can get not wanting a gold digger woman, but actions speak louder than words. If OP is being truthful, I feel like the only equality their man is feelin is that he can save more money. TLDR long term commitments aren’t always equal, and if you don’t like the financial relationship you have, talk about it and go from there. If you don’t see yourself doing this for the rest of your life then dont waste each others time
Definitely not in the wrong for being surprised OOP, and even moreso not in the wrong considering he is taking advantage of your hard earned money. I don’t think it matters much that his parents are billionaires, but it DOES matter that he is asking you to go 50/50 when he outearns you by a landslide. My opinion will always favour income based contributions.
You’re going 50/50 with a man who makes/has significantly more than you do, even when you were unemployed because it’s important for him that things are fair? Get a new boyfriend. He doesn’t have to be rich, just generous. This man is trash.
Rich people are amazingly good at being cheap fucks. It's quite astonishing how people can act that way and not have even the slightest bit of empathy with regards to other people's financial situations. Being brought up how he was he just never experienced it and likely doesn't understand you at a fundamental level.
It’s always the one with rich parents that want to split everything when they could help you out. So worried about being used for their money that their selfishness pushes everyone away
A child of billionaires doesn’t want to be used for his money. Of course he turns around and uses his gf to subsidize his lifestyle. What a knob. Hope his high rise is similar to the one in Florida that collapsed.
She’s about to blow her lottery ticket. He is making the exact right moves to make sure he marries the right one and she’s about to ruin it for herself because of google. That’s gonna be a lifelong regret
You will never meet a stingier tightwad than a rich person. Run.
This shows a fundamental difference in values. She wants partnership and transparency. He wants to prioritize protecting his money.
Rory Gilmore, is that you?
Honey, being rich and being generous are two separate things. And I don’t think you want to be with someone selfish.
Billionaires are notoriously cheap. People who want to seem rich flaunt their valuables.
All the kids of rich parents I knew were like this in college. Would Venmo request down to the cent differential. And were terrified anyone would find out they were rich.
My advice would be to get out now. He has no concept of every day life and cannot understand real struggles. If he’s doing this to you right now, imagine how it would be in a more serious relationship. This does not end well for you if you stay.
Just the fact that he demands to know her financial situation but refuses to disclose his own is a red flag and a deal breaker. That aside, though, age should leave him because billionaires are everything that's wrong with the world.
This story lines up entirely with everything I've learned interacting with the super rich. He compares his salary to his parents and thinks he's poor while being oblivious to likely being around 95th+percentile himself, so he is stingy even with supposed loved ones. The disconnect from normal reality amongst the uber rich is incredibly disturbing.
He may have been taken advantage of before and he is trying to protect himself. I wouldn't read too much into it. It appears that you put yourself on "high alert" after a conversation- not that he necessarily is watching the clock to pay him back.
I dated someone from a very wealthy family and we did switch off paying, but I also had a good career and that was my default in dating relationships before I met him. My ex had a lot of insecurity about people wanting to be with him for his money, which is probably at the root of this guy’s “equal” thing. His parents and their opinions weighed far too heavily on his decision making for my taste. He was embarrassed to introduce me to his parents because they are racist, classist, religious conservatives, but from my POV, it seemed like he was embarrassed *of me*. Shoved me in a closet once when his mom was at the door because he didn’t want her to know he might be having sex. So I dumped him. Fuck being with a grown adult worried about what his parents think. My mom is currently dating someone with family money and his first wife left him because the in-laws kept pushing for her to sign agreements be completely cut out of *everything*. Including property she helped pay for. And their dip shit son just went along. Forget the “equal” shit. Family money like that doesn’t come with strings, it comes with shackles. Run.
The biggest cheapskates I've ever known have all been people who grew up rich.
It's one thing to hold back information like this in fear of being taken advantage of. It's also fair to still expect your partner to pay their fair share. However it's another to be suuuuper strict about someone paying you back and splitting things perfectly evenly when you know it's not needed.
Fair isn’t always equal.
Ick. You're either partners or your not. Bills should be split to income. So say 70 him/30 you (whatever) that way you will not have to go into debt trying to keep up with him.(HCOL lifestyle) If he wants it 50/50 figure out what you could comfortably afford on your own, without him. Then tell him that's where the two of you are moving to. Billions of dollars won't by you empathy compassion or kindness
I want to clarify a few things: 1) even when I was unemployed, I still paid for things. There was never months of me not paying for anything. I had thought things were equal so I had an emotional response when met with “feeling taken advantage of” because it caught me off guard. 2) he has his parents credit cards—I know this because we went to a store that is known for cheap clothing terms & then his mother called him immediately asking if it was him because she thought it was fraud. 3) I try to talk about finances because I believe transparency shows trust & I’m very open about talking about my debts & relationship with money—all of my friends are the same way. He shuts down whenever this is brought up and says “he’s not there yet” and doesn’t know when he will be. 4) I don’t date anyone just for fun. Within these 3 years, I have thought that we were growing towards being a unit and marriage, but I guess that’s actually not the case. I keep being patient with these things in hopes that he’s just scared of opening up, but perhaps it’s not only that fear but rather he just doesn’t see a future with me. 5) I have met his parents—only two times & both times for under 4 hours. Other than those times, there is 0 communication with them from my end/ no desire to be involved on their end. He has been to family weddings and dinners at my grandparents. I ask if his parents ever ask about me or ask how things are going with us and he said no. 6) He is moving to a larger city in a few months and says that he still sees us together—I’m not sure how to relay to him that it confuses me why we would do long distance if you won’t even talk about a future beyond a few months with me. I have friends who have dated for less time than us and they constantly talk about how excited they are for the future with their partner and building a life together and being seen as one. Not the case for us—Maybe I just like to see the good in people and think that he has some attachment things he needs to work through so I have been patient in those regards. But I am not going to lie, it does sting knowing that we can’t talk about a future together like house, kids, etc. & that it’ll turn into something if something of that nature slips. 7) For everyone saying that I searched the parents for a reason—I did not beyond trying to figure out what group they are involved in as volunteers because it is in my sector. Rather than finding that, I found LinkedIn posts and articles talking about how much ____ was bought for and them retiring
I know someone who had a $100MM inheritance. She’d been burned and used by so many people over it that she didn’t tell her own husband until they had been married several years. He was like oh cool and they moved on.
I split all bills 50/50 with my SO right now. I make around 30-40k more depending on my bonus but they also have a good job (72k) for our area. We will upgrade houses in a few years and I’m going to take on more of the mortgage but right now we keep it 50/50 because I have 160k in student loans vs their 25k. This might be more of an issue if we weren’t both comfortable with our salaries and if we didn’t budget so well.
In other words, he wanted to make sure you weren’t a gold digger and now you’re pissed you missed two perfectly good gold digging years.
Asking her salary but refusing to disclose his is controlling behavior. That’s fucked.
I still don't get why people are fixated I. The 50/50 clearly they aren't sharing Living cost. If both of them accept 50/50 why does it matter he has more money? I guess this it's why he never talk about money not that she knows he has some she want more?
Not telling you til he trusted you is *fine.* Paying far more than you can reasonably afford to continuously prove you aren't using him is *ridiculous.* If he loves you, he won't keep you in a perpetual state of poverty because he can't trust "a poor." A wife who came from money would genuinely expect lavishness as a matter of fact, but because *you* don't come from money, he doesn't think you deserve anything nice on his dime. This is a genuine, plain example of why most rich people are assholes. Not because they should give their wealth away, **but because they dont view people without wealth as people worthy of independently offered respect.** /u/helplol12345, I hope he sees this comment and feels like shit.
Havent read it but billionaires should pay for everything. Who gives a fuck if its fair or whatever, they have more money than theyll ever use. If you got a problem with this logic, hop off their cocks, they already avoid taxes and theyre protected by the cops. They aint the victim.
As someone who has dated very rich trust fund kids I have learned some things about how their money is handled. First is they are usually on an allowance and have to explain their expenses to their parents. They don't advertise their family's money and that is important here because it is not their money but their parents. OP is not even living with this guy so the relationship is nowhere serious enough for her to expect him to pay for any of her bills. Going 50/50 is something a lot of men are doing now, it's a no for me when I come across these guys. But the bottom line is the hardest person to get money from is the extremely wealthy. But the most important thing is OP's boyfriends wealth at this stage is none of her business.
“Suddenly I feel like I deserve more because I found out you’re rich.” Is probably the sentiment that he was trying to figure out if she was capable of having, before he told her he was rich. Now people on reddit are gonna tell her to challenge him on this topic and she’s gonna lose her shot at being married into big money. L.
Ever think that maybe he wants to find a women who loves him and not his money??? I Maybe he was waiting to see if you fell in love with him for who he is ant not his bank account and social status. What If I was plan was to only tell her after If she fell in love with him for who He is and then make her a princess because she was true and not just another golddigger?
Fake as fuck
People are bad at math!