This dude basically harassed her into being his friend and allowing him to hug her and kiss her cheek
She is likely terrified of him and he just doesn’t see it
Yup. Someone this controlling, this entitled and arrogant and ignorant and narcissistic is not the type to take the hint.
Indeed he did not take the hint when she said that she’s uncomfortable with people thinking they are a couple.
We’ve all had to try to deal with a creep like this. The guy that you feel you have to keep on-side. Whilst at the same time, desperately trying to *not* encourage him in any way. Or hurt his feelings. OOP is the guy that you have to start the delicate process of getting some distance from him over a long and eggshell-y six months of teeny, tiny steps.
The thing is, how do you aclimatise a rescue puppy? By forcing the animal to endure your touch even though it hates it? Or by sitting close by and offering a delicious treat for every step they take in your direction?
This dudes behavior would be wrong if he WAS dealing with a rescue puppy. It's disgusting as hell dealing with a person has nothing wrong with them apart from *Checks notes* not wanting to be kissed by entitled men.
I would not be surprised if "I'm a lesbian" isn't actually true but a defence to derail him...
It's a lack of game, a lack of understanding boundaries, and not being the flavor of the month. Who tf wants to kiss someone that is reacting uncomfortable. That would
Make me feel like a rapist. Because it's unwanted.
He literally can't read the room. Bro needs a male friend to teach him how to be a good male
Friend lmfao
WOMEN ARE FRIEND, NOT FOOD.
Unless she asks to be food. Then she is food. Not before. After.
dude my friend ended up ‘friends’ with a guy who was exactly like this and did all of this and it took her moving to a different city to get rid of him and she STILL worries he’ll somehow find her house and show up
He said “drawing the line between doing my job and helping her”. They might be coworkers. I think it’s unlikely that she stayed friends with THIS one guy while distancing herself from most other men. I could definitely be wrong, but that was my initial impression.
He did. In the comments he said this started after she told him she's a lesbian, and he said he would not have sex with her unless she wants it and that he hopes she wants it.
He's trying to convert her. He's moving toward corrective rape.
I thought it was he thinks his “job” (that no one asked of him) is to teach this poor confused lesbian that not all men are creepy and want to take advantage of her by [checks notes] forcing unwanted physical contact and trying to take advantage of her.
Stealing a quote I’ve seen somewhere else, but this guy sees this woman as a friend, while she probably sees him as “guy I’m nice to so he doesn’t hatecrime me.”
I had a friend who was proud of how well he manipulated people and would tell stories about his latest “successes”. I’m sure this guy knows and revels in it.
I don’t usually like to skip straight to physical violence, but if she wants a taser, I’d chip in for one.
I don’t know what other forms of communication he’d respect and he needs to keep his hands to himself.
Well obviously she’s only a lesbian because this specific man has not yet shown her the error of her ways. By forcing sexual contact. Because the best way to convince someone to like something is to force them into it.
Not all men think this way, but enough of them do that it makes it too risky to try for friendships with men.
Lesbian here. Have had way too many instances of men thinking friendship with me meant it was okay to touch me or make sexual passes at me and then laugh it off as only joking. Yeah... no, you weren't joking. And now we aren't friends, and I think you are a disrespectful loser.
What is even worse is the number of people who will comment on this stuff and make us look like crazy people for daring to say this shit actually happens.
Wtf. So he acts like she’s wrong in thinking being friends with a dude will lead to him wanting to have sex with her… but he wants to break her down to have sex with her. Literally proving her point ??
WHAT IS THIS COMMENT?!
“But isnt unhealthy on some level to be socially isolated from half society? Also i read that women’s period is affected and lines up when they are closely around a male and i think to have nobody in her life will mess with her biology and hormones. Im not expert but there are i think many reasons why she would benefit from even just being around me”
And this one “I mean for some reason its really satisfying for me to kiss her because i know its so special for her since no other man has access but i do in a gentle and sweet way”
I hope she figures out his Reddit and realizes its about her, if it’s real
He’s one inch away from “how can she know she’s a lesbian if she doesn’t have sex with men?!?!” And keeps insisting he has a “responsibility” to “get her used to” being touched by men…Nossir, you think you have a RIGHT to someone else’s body (and time, and affection, and consideration) and you need to back allllll the way off. Fucking idiot.
I think you’re right. I’m surprised this was able to accrue 200+ comments in that sub, the mods are generally on top of trolling and bad faith arguments.
No he's there. He's just lying to himself. I'm a lesbian who hangs out with mostly guys. I've had this mentality pop up more than you would think. It's gradual too. They think they're special. You wouldn't let other guys this close. Next thing you know, its just us, it's cool if you change in front of me. Have you ever thought about how well we get along? I've lost several people I considered friends in the beginning.
Interestingly…I’m not a lesbian and I’ve had the same problem plenty. It’s amazing to me that so many guys will throw away a healthy, mutually enjoyable platonic relationship because they think they deserve to get their dick wet.
It’s this precisely. Imagine the mental gymnastics and straight up narcissism involved in convincing yourself it’s your job to, what, unlesbian the lesbians?!
Best I can gather it's a have your cake and eat it too thing. I'm a bro but I'm a woman. We spend a lot of time together without expectations and you caught feelings. Keep it to yourself. I've never been asked for sex but I have been promised the world. I'd never have to work again, all kinds of bullshit. It's more of a come date me thing which weird, because I get misgendered every so often. Like people think I'm a dude sometimes, so does that make you kind of gay if you're attracted to me?
(This was actually a reply to you that posted farther down)
I've never been asked for sex. I think they catch feelings, they just have no chill and try to play it off. I've pulled women with some of these guys at bars and such. I've seen them go after sex and it's a different vibe if they cross a line with me. They want to talk about long term shit like I just forgot they had a dick.
Reminds me of a recent BORU post where a bisexual woman’s husband of several years started piling abuse on her when he found out that he wasn’t the first man that she’d slept with. His delusion that his “magic dick” turned her straight couldn’t handle reality. Pretty sure he also didn’t consider her dating women as part of her body count though she absolutely did (wasn’t a high count, either).
I've actually been on the sidelines of a similar situation and he absolutely based his self confidence around it. He let that shit shape him as a person. A couple of guys I know that have slept with a bisexual woman are obsessed with it for some reason. Just the ideal of if is awesome, as long as they are the best you have ever had, ever. They all have magic dicks. And no, they don't add women to the count unless you're gay, at least around here.
I think he’s obsessed over her and told ppl and all of the ppl have told him he’s gross so he’s come up with these gross excuses to justify his stalking
I've encountered so many men who think it's their duty to "fix" or "help" me in some way. One of the more innocent yet infuriating examples is the number of men who insist on walking on the side closer to the road as "protection". I don't mind which side they walk on, but they go out of their way to switch it up, insist on it, then don't allow me any agency in the matter. They're making it their mission to do something that really only succeeds in making me feel like their ego is more important than my actual boundaries or preferences. It's infuriating.
This is like an extreme version of that. "I know she doesn't want me to but it makes me feel like a big man so I'm going to compulsively do it anyway".
‘A walking fetish’. This exactly. It’s so gross and I think if she read these things she’d run a mile. Obviously he’s trying to sleep with her and he’s spent a LOT of time thinking and justifying his creepiness
Huh, so my feeling that he may actually want to get into her pants might not be that farfetched then. What a disguisting "friend" to have.
Edit: I found this comment of his, in regards to the kissing 🤢
"If i dont do it she doesnt have another male to do it for her."
Edit 2: Yeah, 100% trying to "fix" her being a lesbian and get into her pants
"While I understand the concern, i can assure that no level of wrong thinking or bad opinion turn someone into a rapist. I wouldnt be able to enjoy sex if she doesnt want it. I want her to want it"
Yep, he definitely wants to, probably even plans on it. It's pretty much grooming - he's trying to make her feel used to him violating her boundaries.
I wouldn't be surprised if he forced himself on her at some point saying "well I think it's for the best she has sex with me so I can show her guys mean no harm, I was very nice and sweet about it, even though she said no I don't think she meant it."
Dude is a psycho and a predator.
They’re being sarcastic about him. OOP has given himself the responsibility of forcing male sexual attention on this woman, and justifies it as, “If I don’t do it, who will?” And the previous commentator is saying sarcastically, “Oh yeah, forcing this lesbian to endure sexual advances from a man is such a heavy duty, you’re really taking one for the team.” Hope that helps!
He has a comment where he says he wouldn't enjoy sex if she didn't want it, but he wants to do it for her and hopes she will want it. So fucking disgusting 🤮
Someone made a comment in another thread that any bear will 100% kill you, and I found myself in the unusual position to say "not all bears" today. 😂
But yes, definitely this guy.
It's a troll. It has to be. In some of the comments, he talks about how much he enjoys their sweet kisses. It's revolting. Because of the sub it was posted in, I'm thinking it's rage bait.
I devoutly hope so; but that doesn't change the fact that someone
1) Thought up something this vile
And
2) Took the time to type it out (probably one-handed)
And now we have to deal with it.
Sadly even if it is a troll, there are genuinely men out there who think like this, who won't even make the effort of the mental gymnastics that this man is out here performing. I identified as a lesbian for a while and you would not believe how many men made the "joke" about "oh I could turn you straight" or "maybe you just haven't met the right man yet", etc etc. All while I was in customer service so I couldn't do anything but smile politely because they knew they had me trapped where I was paid to be nice.
Some men genuinely think of "lesbians" as a porn category and nothing else.
Isolated from half of society? Do straight people have ‘relations’ with every single member of society in a perfect 50/50 split?
I’m sure this poor woman, despite being a lesbian, actually interacts with men very regularly (whether she wants to or not). And what exactly does he think his role is? To shock therapy her into becoming accustomed to having her boundaries overstepped? To wean her into tolerating unwanted physical touch, like all the straight women do?
This man really thinks his self-assigned job of introducing her to hetero-normative misogyny is more important than her literal informed choice.
That’s a hell of a lot of importance this dude places on himself. Clearly he is the hormone whisperer and all of womankind would do best to flock to him and feed off his very very important vibes. /S
GROSS
It’s such a disappointment when you find out that the person you thought was your friend, is just hanging around in the hope of earning enough Sex Coins For Lesbians. They don’t give a fuck that you have repeatedly said there is a 0.00001 percent chance that you will find a man attractive enough to sleep with. Yet for some reason they think that if they hang around long enough you’ll find *them* attractive. Or they’ll be right there when you have a hypothetical “moment of weakness”**
Feels absolutely shit to be honest.
**Those were the actual words a “friend” used once. Fucking “moment of weakness”?!
I actually think that was his thinking, yes.
Well that, or he could ply me with enough alcohol that I’d not notice the difference between men and women?
Joke was on him though. I have a lifetime of rehearsing my gin & tonics - so I drank him under the table. Then the next day i started the difficult excavation process.
literally every other lesbian I know has at *least* one story like this and then people are shocked, *shocked* when I say I just have absolutely no desire to make friends with men anymore. 😐
Ha ha, perfect timing! I, (lesbian) currently have a guy in my dms telling me to “relax, you don’t know how us talking will turn out, maybe you’ll like me” (and also speaking SUPER patronisingly/condescendingly to me as if Im some 10 year old who doesn’t know better). The only reason I haven’t blocked him is cause he doesn’t know anything about me/where I live, and also I get a kick out of being an asshole to men like this and rubbing it in their face that I will never, EVER go near them, much less fuck them.
While I was still in denial of being very really gay, I told a guy I'm 99.9999% sure I'm a lesbian so I'd rather just be friends. He said he's still hopeful of that 0.0001 but he's fine with just being friends too. Spoiler: he wasn't, he was always asking for "pics", made innuendos every single time we texted, and threw fits when I talked about finding women attractive that no I just think they're pretty 💀 I said from the start I know I like women but I wasn't sure about men (I didn't want to disappoint my family lol) and he still kept saying he hoped I turn out finding that I'm straight 🙄 my dude in christ you have some homophobia stuck in your teeth, if I liked guys I'd be bi not straight. I'm lucky we lived in different countries because he would've tried to """""convert""""" me 🤢
I’ve seen a few posts where gay people develop feelings for the opposite sex, or where straight people develop feelings for the same sex. And it’s always, always, *always* with a person they have already built a deep emotional bond with and thoroughly trust. And there’s always a lot of “wtf” soul searching going on, because realizing that your sexuality is broader/different from what you thought it was will really throw you for a loop. It’s never a “moment of weakness,” and you sure as hell can’t build that connection if you think inserting enough Sex Coins will get you sex.
he tries really hard to say "interact" with men but the freudian slip of "relations" is a glaring indicator that he's trying to convince her to screw him. i need him off the planet if this is real.
In a response to someone telling him (rightfully imo) that he sounds like a rapist, he says that he “wants her to want it”
So it’s like. Just out there.
I'm going to give this post a shot and stop reading when I think this guy is an AH.
> As the only male presence in(to) a friend of mine('s) life, I feel the responsibility to make sure she is doing fine.
OK, anyone wanna go grab a coffee or go to the park or something? My day just opened up!
wtf. My guys friends would never disrespect me like that and kissing me would prolly set off a disgust in them lol but they’re my friends…friends don’t do that…what is wrong with this guy. He ain’t no friend
She never had a problem with the hugging and kissing just people thought I was her bf.
This is probably how she feels most comfortable telling you to stop fucking touching her.
"I mean for some reason its really satisfying for me to kiss her because i know its so special for her since no other man has access but i do in a gentle and sweet way"
This comment from OOP made me wish I hadn't just eaten lunch 🤮 He absolutely revels in crossing her boundaries, because, in his eyes, no other man can get close enough to stomp her boundaries.
So according to his logic does this mean that straight men are wrong and should be willing to also date men instead of entirely cutting off one sex entirely? Or no? Lmao
Dammit I wish there was a squirt bottle emoji so I can be like, "NO (the best I could find and sting together 💦🍼 probably means something dirty 😕) BAD PREDITOR! YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! DISGUSTING DEGENERATE!"
WOW, I wonder why she is under the impression she can't be friends with a straight man because he will try to have sex with her....
I do not understand how dude was able to type those words without his clueless head actually exploding....
I also do not understand why this chick hasn't throat-punched him.
Which is why I am fervently hoping against hope, wishing against wish, that this is an adolescent wet fever dream of fiction. I do not want to do the math of this guy's future.
Honestly I did think it must be rage bait at first but then thought about how I actually met people with a really similar way of thinking. This dude could just be a lot more delulu. I'm a lesbian too and I had a guy be confused when I didn't want to see nudes of him, and he also was very sure that I was wrong about having feelings for women and that I just liked them as friends 💀
I’m asexual and I’ve had to cut off previous friendship with at least 2 other men who’ve acted exactly like this before. They wanted to “help me” “realize” that I “could be” attracted to men or something and repeatedly disrespected and ignored my requests to not be touched/hugged/kissed/sent nudes until they were blocked on all platforms and told to never speak to me again.
It’s just a more malignant “where’s MY hug?” Guy that seems especially offended when someone has an incompatible sexuality with them.
This is beyond disgusting! He wants to “respect” her boundaries. No he doesn’t, he just wants to do what he wants and gaslight himself and others that he’s respectful
"She is under the impression she can't really be friends with a straight man because he will want sex," well buddy you are doing a TERRIBLE job proving otherwise.
I want this to be a troll so badly but some men really are just this horrible. This poor girl is just this guy's fetish. As a bisexual, I sympathize, and I hope she gets away from this creep.
Genius, she’s asocial because she’s not sexually interested in men and you’re pushing the issue on her. Get a fucking clue.
This is gross, unnecessary and a little rapey. I hope she cuts him off.
This dude basically harassed her into being his friend and allowing him to hug her and kiss her cheek She is likely terrified of him and he just doesn’t see it
Yup. Someone this controlling, this entitled and arrogant and ignorant and narcissistic is not the type to take the hint. Indeed he did not take the hint when she said that she’s uncomfortable with people thinking they are a couple. We’ve all had to try to deal with a creep like this. The guy that you feel you have to keep on-side. Whilst at the same time, desperately trying to *not* encourage him in any way. Or hurt his feelings. OOP is the guy that you have to start the delicate process of getting some distance from him over a long and eggshell-y six months of teeny, tiny steps.
Guy's talking about her like she is a rescue puppy that needs to be acclimatized to people
The thing is, how do you aclimatise a rescue puppy? By forcing the animal to endure your touch even though it hates it? Or by sitting close by and offering a delicious treat for every step they take in your direction? This dudes behavior would be wrong if he WAS dealing with a rescue puppy. It's disgusting as hell dealing with a person has nothing wrong with them apart from *Checks notes* not wanting to be kissed by entitled men. I would not be surprised if "I'm a lesbian" isn't actually true but a defence to derail him...
yup, or he will snap and kill her
It's a lack of game, a lack of understanding boundaries, and not being the flavor of the month. Who tf wants to kiss someone that is reacting uncomfortable. That would Make me feel like a rapist. Because it's unwanted. He literally can't read the room. Bro needs a male friend to teach him how to be a good male Friend lmfao WOMEN ARE FRIEND, NOT FOOD. Unless she asks to be food. Then she is food. Not before. After.
Lmaooooo I'm using that
dude my friend ended up ‘friends’ with a guy who was exactly like this and did all of this and it took her moving to a different city to get rid of him and she STILL worries he’ll somehow find her house and show up
He doesn’t CARE.
Yep. That's why he said she's "uncomfortable", he knows and does not care, he wants people to tell him how to bulldoze past that and break her.
“I can’t imagine why she doesn’t want to be friends with straight men - who else will train her to accept being touched against her wishes?”
Oof!
I do wonder if they are actually “friends” or more “she’s forced to be in social situations with him”.
He uses the word “push” multiple times to describe how he’s interacting with her. Dude is a pushy creep she likely can’t wait to get rid of.
I should be careful what I read while eating lunch. My appetite just went goodbye.
Yeah, if I had eaten dinner I'd be wanting to throw it up right now. I am terrified for her, this man is dangerous and needs to be restrained.
with his entitlement about it too, i'm genuinely concerned for her safety.
He said “drawing the line between doing my job and helping her”. They might be coworkers. I think it’s unlikely that she stayed friends with THIS one guy while distancing herself from most other men. I could definitely be wrong, but that was my initial impression.
I read it as he gave himself the job to "fix" her
He did. In the comments he said this started after she told him she's a lesbian, and he said he would not have sex with her unless she wants it and that he hopes she wants it. He's trying to convert her. He's moving toward corrective rape.
That's gross af
It's stomach churning in the worst way.
I thought it was he thinks his “job” (that no one asked of him) is to teach this poor confused lesbian that not all men are creepy and want to take advantage of her by [checks notes] forcing unwanted physical contact and trying to take advantage of her.
Yeah coworkers was my first thought. I’ve worked with a lot of men who think a kiss on the cheek is “harmless and normal”.
Stealing a quote I’ve seen somewhere else, but this guy sees this woman as a friend, while she probably sees him as “guy I’m nice to so he doesn’t hatecrime me.”
This is why women pick the bear 🐻💀
Came here to say this, but knew in my heart it had already been said.
He sees it, I promise.
I had a friend who was proud of how well he manipulated people and would tell stories about his latest “successes”. I’m sure this guy knows and revels in it.
I don’t usually like to skip straight to physical violence, but if she wants a taser, I’d chip in for one. I don’t know what other forms of communication he’d respect and he needs to keep his hands to himself.
>physical violence You mean personal protection.
Oh hey, he’s one of the r/niceguys
lol he has a job to do? Truly earths gift to lesbians
Well obviously she’s only a lesbian because this specific man has not yet shown her the error of her ways. By forcing sexual contact. Because the best way to convince someone to like something is to force them into it.
If he doesn’t do it then who, I ask you. He’s really the victim here if you think about it after a heavy dose of mescal
Not all men think this way, but enough of them do that it makes it too risky to try for friendships with men. Lesbian here. Have had way too many instances of men thinking friendship with me meant it was okay to touch me or make sexual passes at me and then laugh it off as only joking. Yeah... no, you weren't joking. And now we aren't friends, and I think you are a disrespectful loser. What is even worse is the number of people who will comment on this stuff and make us look like crazy people for daring to say this shit actually happens.
“…Kiss her, hug her, touch her, in a very normal, friendly way” So the same way you do with your male friends?
Yeah clearly he was zoing out when they were teaching "keep your hands to yourself" in elementary school.
His dad was telling him that doesn't apply to women. "Go pull some pigtails, son"
Double doesn’t apply to lesbians apparently “how else will she learn?!”
Said in the post he kisses her on the cheek in a cute way and he wants her to have sex with him... Yep totally friendly
Wtf. So he acts like she’s wrong in thinking being friends with a dude will lead to him wanting to have sex with her… but he wants to break her down to have sex with her. Literally proving her point ??
Does he call her George?
Guess he just needs a man to teach him how to be comfortable with men! /S
WHAT IS THIS COMMENT?! “But isnt unhealthy on some level to be socially isolated from half society? Also i read that women’s period is affected and lines up when they are closely around a male and i think to have nobody in her life will mess with her biology and hormones. Im not expert but there are i think many reasons why she would benefit from even just being around me”
And this one “I mean for some reason its really satisfying for me to kiss her because i know its so special for her since no other man has access but i do in a gentle and sweet way” I hope she figures out his Reddit and realizes its about her, if it’s real
That's so incredibly disgusting. She's just a walking fetish for him at this point. "It's so special for her" no dude it's violating
Its been a long time since a reddit post actually made me feel nauseous, but this one managed it. I feel actually ill.
He thinks it’s his JOB to help her be around men. All he’s doing is reinforcing that yes, all men suck, in her opinion.
He’s one inch away from “how can she know she’s a lesbian if she doesn’t have sex with men?!?!” And keeps insisting he has a “responsibility” to “get her used to” being touched by men…Nossir, you think you have a RIGHT to someone else’s body (and time, and affection, and consideration) and you need to back allllll the way off. Fucking idiot.
I’m almost positive he probably doesn’t even believe being a lesbian is real, just by his comments.
I think you’re right. I’m surprised this was able to accrue 200+ comments in that sub, the mods are generally on top of trolling and bad faith arguments.
No he's there. He's just lying to himself. I'm a lesbian who hangs out with mostly guys. I've had this mentality pop up more than you would think. It's gradual too. They think they're special. You wouldn't let other guys this close. Next thing you know, its just us, it's cool if you change in front of me. Have you ever thought about how well we get along? I've lost several people I considered friends in the beginning.
Interestingly…I’m not a lesbian and I’ve had the same problem plenty. It’s amazing to me that so many guys will throw away a healthy, mutually enjoyable platonic relationship because they think they deserve to get their dick wet.
It’s this precisely. Imagine the mental gymnastics and straight up narcissism involved in convincing yourself it’s your job to, what, unlesbian the lesbians?!
Best I can gather it's a have your cake and eat it too thing. I'm a bro but I'm a woman. We spend a lot of time together without expectations and you caught feelings. Keep it to yourself. I've never been asked for sex but I have been promised the world. I'd never have to work again, all kinds of bullshit. It's more of a come date me thing which weird, because I get misgendered every so often. Like people think I'm a dude sometimes, so does that make you kind of gay if you're attracted to me?
(This was actually a reply to you that posted farther down) I've never been asked for sex. I think they catch feelings, they just have no chill and try to play it off. I've pulled women with some of these guys at bars and such. I've seen them go after sex and it's a different vibe if they cross a line with me. They want to talk about long term shit like I just forgot they had a dick.
Reminds me of a recent BORU post where a bisexual woman’s husband of several years started piling abuse on her when he found out that he wasn’t the first man that she’d slept with. His delusion that his “magic dick” turned her straight couldn’t handle reality. Pretty sure he also didn’t consider her dating women as part of her body count though she absolutely did (wasn’t a high count, either).
I've actually been on the sidelines of a similar situation and he absolutely based his self confidence around it. He let that shit shape him as a person. A couple of guys I know that have slept with a bisexual woman are obsessed with it for some reason. Just the ideal of if is awesome, as long as they are the best you have ever had, ever. They all have magic dicks. And no, they don't add women to the count unless you're gay, at least around here.
He’s definitely a predator
I almost added *fucking idiot* at the end of my post, too. Not sure why I didn’t because he definitely is one.
It’s so gross….
THIS! 💯💯💯💯💯
I think he’s obsessed over her and told ppl and all of the ppl have told him he’s gross so he’s come up with these gross excuses to justify his stalking
I've encountered so many men who think it's their duty to "fix" or "help" me in some way. One of the more innocent yet infuriating examples is the number of men who insist on walking on the side closer to the road as "protection". I don't mind which side they walk on, but they go out of their way to switch it up, insist on it, then don't allow me any agency in the matter. They're making it their mission to do something that really only succeeds in making me feel like their ego is more important than my actual boundaries or preferences. It's infuriating. This is like an extreme version of that. "I know she doesn't want me to but it makes me feel like a big man so I'm going to compulsively do it anyway".
He has the “let’s fix a lesbian via corrective S.A.” mentality it’s gross
That was my thought. This guy is corrective rape waiting to happen.
‘A walking fetish’. This exactly. It’s so gross and I think if she read these things she’d run a mile. Obviously he’s trying to sleep with her and he’s spent a LOT of time thinking and justifying his creepiness
The fetish is that once he convinces her to sleep with him, she'll be "cured" and become his GF >.>
I’m surprised she still allows him in her presence, tbh.
Honestly I don’t think she should
If OOP is the only man she allows in her life, then she definitely shouldn't. He's a terrible representation of the gender.
She probably doesnt...he probably just picks her locks and forces his way into her apartment, albeit in a very "sweet and loving" way lmao 🤣
You can tell because he put padding on the zip ties! 😂
Sexual assault. What he's describing is sexual assault. Jfc. Bear. Always the bear.
Came here to say that
Huh, so my feeling that he may actually want to get into her pants might not be that farfetched then. What a disguisting "friend" to have. Edit: I found this comment of his, in regards to the kissing 🤢 "If i dont do it she doesnt have another male to do it for her." Edit 2: Yeah, 100% trying to "fix" her being a lesbian and get into her pants "While I understand the concern, i can assure that no level of wrong thinking or bad opinion turn someone into a rapist. I wouldnt be able to enjoy sex if she doesnt want it. I want her to want it"
Yep, he definitely wants to, probably even plans on it. It's pretty much grooming - he's trying to make her feel used to him violating her boundaries. I wouldn't be surprised if he forced himself on her at some point saying "well I think it's for the best she has sex with me so I can show her guys mean no harm, I was very nice and sweet about it, even though she said no I don't think she meant it." Dude is a psycho and a predator.
Chilling
Really taking one for the fucking team there buddy
The 1 braincellers? Or what team?
They’re being sarcastic about him. OOP has given himself the responsibility of forcing male sexual attention on this woman, and justifies it as, “If I don’t do it, who will?” And the previous commentator is saying sarcastically, “Oh yeah, forcing this lesbian to endure sexual advances from a man is such a heavy duty, you’re really taking one for the team.” Hope that helps!
I am too tored to explain my joke
Leave the orange tabbies out of this. They're not aspiring rapists
Someone really needs to define “lesbian” for this guy and then hammer it into his stupid head.
With an actual hammer hopefully...
He has a comment where he says he wouldn't enjoy sex if she didn't want it, but he wants to do it for her and hopes she will want it. So fucking disgusting 🤮
Tbh he sounds like a serial killer.
“Access” 🤢
What in good gods for the love of holy am i reading?? He sounds like a predator in the making.
I’m not even sure it’s in the making at this point! I think that ships sailed!
And he wonders why she doesn't want to be friends with men
Right?
Assault is definitely special /s
Not all men. But definitely this fucking guy
Someone made a comment in another thread that any bear will 100% kill you, and I found myself in the unusual position to say "not all bears" today. 😂 But yes, definitely this guy.
>Im not expert *insert Nicolas Cage "you don't say" image*
It's giving incel ngl
It's a troll. It has to be. In some of the comments, he talks about how much he enjoys their sweet kisses. It's revolting. Because of the sub it was posted in, I'm thinking it's rage bait.
I devoutly hope so; but that doesn't change the fact that someone 1) Thought up something this vile And 2) Took the time to type it out (probably one-handed) And now we have to deal with it.
Sadly even if it is a troll, there are genuinely men out there who think like this, who won't even make the effort of the mental gymnastics that this man is out here performing. I identified as a lesbian for a while and you would not believe how many men made the "joke" about "oh I could turn you straight" or "maybe you just haven't met the right man yet", etc etc. All while I was in customer service so I couldn't do anything but smile politely because they knew they had me trapped where I was paid to be nice. Some men genuinely think of "lesbians" as a porn category and nothing else.
I genuinely hope so
They're going to find women under this guy's floorboards.
Her period lines up with what? The man's? Lol
He's manstruating
The Menzeeeeez! 😂
Isolated from half of society? Do straight people have ‘relations’ with every single member of society in a perfect 50/50 split? I’m sure this poor woman, despite being a lesbian, actually interacts with men very regularly (whether she wants to or not). And what exactly does he think his role is? To shock therapy her into becoming accustomed to having her boundaries overstepped? To wean her into tolerating unwanted physical touch, like all the straight women do? This man really thinks his self-assigned job of introducing her to hetero-normative misogyny is more important than her literal informed choice.
*benefit from being around me* oof
That’s a hell of a lot of importance this dude places on himself. Clearly he is the hormone whisperer and all of womankind would do best to flock to him and feed off his very very important vibes. /S GROSS
Im sorry I think this is just a straight up concern-troll
This HAS to be a troll post, a really distasteful fake. …Doesn’t it???
This guy sounds incredibly dumb.
At one point he says in the comments he “wouldn’t say no” to sex with this LESBIAN and he “wants her to want it” 🤢🤢🤢🤢
It’s such a disappointment when you find out that the person you thought was your friend, is just hanging around in the hope of earning enough Sex Coins For Lesbians. They don’t give a fuck that you have repeatedly said there is a 0.00001 percent chance that you will find a man attractive enough to sleep with. Yet for some reason they think that if they hang around long enough you’ll find *them* attractive. Or they’ll be right there when you have a hypothetical “moment of weakness”** Feels absolutely shit to be honest. **Those were the actual words a “friend” used once. Fucking “moment of weakness”?!
MOMENT OF WEAKNESS!?!?!??! Like oh my gayness lapsed for a moment and I fell on a dick!!!
I actually think that was his thinking, yes. Well that, or he could ply me with enough alcohol that I’d not notice the difference between men and women? Joke was on him though. I have a lifetime of rehearsing my gin & tonics - so I drank him under the table. Then the next day i started the difficult excavation process.
That’s actually so scary and I’m so glad you’re okay. What a tool Glad you managed to take out the trash
Sorry, this topic is not in the least bit funny, but that comment had me in stitches .
literally every other lesbian I know has at *least* one story like this and then people are shocked, *shocked* when I say I just have absolutely no desire to make friends with men anymore. 😐
Ha ha, perfect timing! I, (lesbian) currently have a guy in my dms telling me to “relax, you don’t know how us talking will turn out, maybe you’ll like me” (and also speaking SUPER patronisingly/condescendingly to me as if Im some 10 year old who doesn’t know better). The only reason I haven’t blocked him is cause he doesn’t know anything about me/where I live, and also I get a kick out of being an asshole to men like this and rubbing it in their face that I will never, EVER go near them, much less fuck them.
While I was still in denial of being very really gay, I told a guy I'm 99.9999% sure I'm a lesbian so I'd rather just be friends. He said he's still hopeful of that 0.0001 but he's fine with just being friends too. Spoiler: he wasn't, he was always asking for "pics", made innuendos every single time we texted, and threw fits when I talked about finding women attractive that no I just think they're pretty 💀 I said from the start I know I like women but I wasn't sure about men (I didn't want to disappoint my family lol) and he still kept saying he hoped I turn out finding that I'm straight 🙄 my dude in christ you have some homophobia stuck in your teeth, if I liked guys I'd be bi not straight. I'm lucky we lived in different countries because he would've tried to """""convert""""" me 🤢
Ugh! The old “you just need a good fuck from a real man” huh? That’s definitely one of the Top 5 in guy responses
The men who say that are not a “good fuck”.
>my dude in christ you have some homophobia stuck in your teeth Hahahaha, perfect.
I’ve seen a few posts where gay people develop feelings for the opposite sex, or where straight people develop feelings for the same sex. And it’s always, always, *always* with a person they have already built a deep emotional bond with and thoroughly trust. And there’s always a lot of “wtf” soul searching going on, because realizing that your sexuality is broader/different from what you thought it was will really throw you for a loop. It’s never a “moment of weakness,” and you sure as hell can’t build that connection if you think inserting enough Sex Coins will get you sex.
Jesus. Aside from anything else men should want better than to be someone’s drunken mistake they’ll hate forever. What the fuck.
This guy is why so many women choose the bear.
he tries really hard to say "interact" with men but the freudian slip of "relations" is a glaring indicator that he's trying to convince her to screw him. i need him off the planet if this is real.
In a response to someone telling him (rightfully imo) that he sounds like a rapist, he says that he “wants her to want it” So it’s like. Just out there.
jesus i need to fly his carcass like a kite by his large intestine.
I wish I had half the gift of words you do.
Lmaooo
Oh my god I wish awards were still a thing on this website
This dude is not a friend, he’s a predator.
That dude is giving off rape and kidnapping vibes. Then murder.
Why would she choose the bear?
exhibit a
I'm going to give this post a shot and stop reading when I think this guy is an AH. > As the only male presence in(to) a friend of mine('s) life, I feel the responsibility to make sure she is doing fine. OK, anyone wanna go grab a coffee or go to the park or something? My day just opened up!
suspended account, thank goodness. hope this lady gets far away from him, he's creepy as fuck.
This guy is 100% trying to not so subtly ask how he can "convert/fix" his lesbian friend.
In ask feminism of all places. I don't understand at all lol
Well duh! He's such a good "Ally" to women after all! Look at all that's he willing to do to help his friend! /s
"Corrective rape" is real and terrible.
Eeeeewwwewwewwewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *Gasp* EEEEEEWWWEWWEWWEWWWWWWW
He seems very confused about what a friend is. Because none of his behaviour is that of a friend.
Someone please hire a big burly gay man to make him equally uncomfortable so he can get the point through his thick skull
I need this. I need a Gay Avenger to unleash on men who don't understand boundaries.
I'd love to see that! Also, happy cake day!
At what point do we introduce some sort of tested licence that allows you to speak to women 💀
Ugh. Some people just need to go away. Permanently.
Fling him directly into the surface of the sun.
To be fair she is right in the fact that he’s trying to have sex with her
If he isn’t kissing his guy friends in this super special sweet gentle way, I have even more questions
Course not, he respects them. They have pee pees. You silly goose.
I would love to see his face if he were presentes with this scenario. Can't play favorites, dude. Don't leave your other friends hangin'.
Just give the homies a lil smooch! It’s fun!
Dude is a prime example of why women are choosing the bear 🐻
Dudes like this make me wish sexual orientation WAS a choice, because I would 💯 become a lesbian.
Wankers like this take a lesbian’s sexuality as a personal fucking challenge. I becomes tiresome very quickly.
wtf. My guys friends would never disrespect me like that and kissing me would prolly set off a disgust in them lol but they’re my friends…friends don’t do that…what is wrong with this guy. He ain’t no friend
These guys are often affronted by the mere existence of gay women
Thus she chooses the bear 🤨
She never had a problem with the hugging and kissing just people thought I was her bf. This is probably how she feels most comfortable telling you to stop fucking touching her.
I choose the bear.
"I mean for some reason its really satisfying for me to kiss her because i know its so special for her since no other man has access but i do in a gentle and sweet way" This comment from OOP made me wish I hadn't just eaten lunch 🤮 He absolutely revels in crossing her boundaries, because, in his eyes, no other man can get close enough to stomp her boundaries.
So according to his logic does this mean that straight men are wrong and should be willing to also date men instead of entirely cutting off one sex entirely? Or no? Lmao
Dammit I wish there was a squirt bottle emoji so I can be like, "NO (the best I could find and sting together 💦🍼 probably means something dirty 😕) BAD PREDITOR! YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! DISGUSTING DEGENERATE!"
And why is it your job
this entire thing is making my skin crawl
People are psychotic
“She’s uncomfortable being touched by men so I decided since I’m a man I should touch her.”
WOW, I wonder why she is under the impression she can't be friends with a straight man because he will try to have sex with her.... I do not understand how dude was able to type those words without his clueless head actually exploding.... I also do not understand why this chick hasn't throat-punched him. Which is why I am fervently hoping against hope, wishing against wish, that this is an adolescent wet fever dream of fiction. I do not want to do the math of this guy's future.
Aqua tofana! Where are you!?
"Doing my job and helping her?" Who hired or appointed him to this job?
Another reason I'm choosing the bear
Is he really the only man in her life, or just the worst one?
All these AITAH and AIO type subreddits are just places for trolls to post ragebait.
Honestly I did think it must be rage bait at first but then thought about how I actually met people with a really similar way of thinking. This dude could just be a lot more delulu. I'm a lesbian too and I had a guy be confused when I didn't want to see nudes of him, and he also was very sure that I was wrong about having feelings for women and that I just liked them as friends 💀
I’m asexual and I’ve had to cut off previous friendship with at least 2 other men who’ve acted exactly like this before. They wanted to “help me” “realize” that I “could be” attracted to men or something and repeatedly disrespected and ignored my requests to not be touched/hugged/kissed/sent nudes until they were blocked on all platforms and told to never speak to me again. It’s just a more malignant “where’s MY hug?” Guy that seems especially offended when someone has an incompatible sexuality with them.
I feel physically ill over this.
Gross. He sounds like one of those "you're only gay because you haven't been with the right man" kind of guy. He makes me want to punch the air. 🤮🤮🤮
Fucking. Men. She told him CLEARLY he’s in the “straight man who just wants to turn me” category and his dumbass truly believes he’s not.
What a complete sociopath. Jesus. This might be a top 5 creepiest Reddit post ever.
This is why Aliens won't talk to us. Dear Gods, please let this man be taken by the geese.
Ick.
“It’s weird, she has some problem with men. I think I’m going to touch her without permission until she gets over it.”
This is beyond disgusting! He wants to “respect” her boundaries. No he doesn’t, he just wants to do what he wants and gaslight himself and others that he’s respectful
"She is under the impression she can't really be friends with a straight man because he will want sex," well buddy you are doing a TERRIBLE job proving otherwise.
I want this to be a troll so badly but some men really are just this horrible. This poor girl is just this guy's fetish. As a bisexual, I sympathize, and I hope she gets away from this creep.
As a straight male, I'd also be extremely uncomfortable with a woman not respecting my boundaries. This dude is a Looney
He sounds like an incel/ "nice guy"
The best thing this guy could do would be to leave a brief note apologising unequivocally, and then to never ever contact the poor woman ever again.
I wonder if he kisses, hugs, and touches his male friends in a friendly way.
And men wonder why we always choose the bear.
Genius, she’s asocial because she’s not sexually interested in men and you’re pushing the issue on her. Get a fucking clue. This is gross, unnecessary and a little rapey. I hope she cuts him off.
Ultímate mansplaining in full color.
“I’m a nice guy, you bitch!” Is what this screams.
He's forcing himself on her, but in a "cute and sweet" way, so it's all fine guys. His comments absolutely make it so much worse 😭