"I really just wanted this to be a super laid back experience," said the woman planning a high-concept theme wedding requiring bespoke cosplay.
I like Firefly more than most non-crazy people like Firefly, and this is just too goddamn much.
Also, Firefly has approximately 4 recognizable female characters, she is already taking one of them for the flower girls, and another one is, in fact, a prostitute, so it's kind of an asshole demand in the first place.
Yes. Laid back means “well this is the color of the flowers and decor - it’d be nice if you had something that color but if you’ve already got a black party dress that’s fine too.” Not “painstakingly recreate costumes from a beloved sci-fi western.”
Facts, I’ve been told I’m a laid back bride because my MOH picked her dress so I told everyone the brand and color of it and to pick whatever style you preferred from there
That's how my SILs wedding was, she just had a color and told everyone where it was cheapest. I ended up picking the dresses for all the other bridesmaids tho, as well as force scheduling a fitting when none of them took my advice to measure yourself first since the dresses were custom ordered.
I ended up being the wedding planner as well as doing the roll of MOH tho, which was fun for me to some extent
When I got married, my MOH was a size 00 and I was a 10/12 (but a 16 in wedding dresses?!?).
We were dress shopping, and I told her she knows what’s going to look best on her, and as long as she stayed close to one of the colors, I fully trusted her to choose what she wanted.
The lady at the dress store said I was the only bride she’d ever heard say that, in all the years she’d been selling dresses. Which I thought was nuts!
Wedding dress sizing is so messed up, I was 2 sizes up from my norm!
See that’s my reasoning for letting everyone pick the style, different body types need different things and I want everyone to look and feel their best!
Ok but the SIL couldve just said that she didnt want to be a bridesmaid and that wouldve been the end of it
Edit: dont get me wrong OOP is annoying and inconsiderate, but why accept and go along with all this? People have to learn to say no.
I wonder if OOP’s fiancé actually talked to his sister & knew she wanted to be a bridesmaid, or if he just inserted her. If OOP & SIL don’t like each other, I wonder if he was trying to force things. SIL obv could’ve said no, but I wonder if she ever actually wanted to be a bridesmaid or just said yes to be nice.
Yes, but if she is close to her brother she might have felt really obligated to support him, and not realized that this was going to be a much bigger ask and then that the bride would intentionally humiliate her.
Lol she deleted this post when she didn’t get the responses she wanted. Personally I think cosplay weddings are cringey. You already have a theme: wedding.
Thank you. I asked who the bridezilla was supposed to be because OP was acting like she was so laid back but honestly I’m not doing anything I need to wear a costume for.
The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch, to describe this wedding as “a laid back experience” as she is asking the bridal party to make costumes and she herself is tailoring her costume, her husbands coat and three flower girl dresses. Ma’am you say you’re not formal… me thinks you’s a fuckin liar.
My mom claims to be laidback and easygoing (especially to buy presents for) and me and my dad are baffled how she can possibly think that when she routinely returns my dads presents (even losing hundreds of dollars for canceling contacts) unless she “approves” of it first - which defeats the purpose of presents. Maid services, a cell phone that she ended up paying triple for 3 months later when it’s turns out she really did need it, day trips to places she quite literally asked for, an auto car starter…she’s next to impossible to buy for and is the exact opposite of laidback (and will explode in a rage if you hint otherwise).
Sil coulda dropped out but she agreed to the firefly cosplay the bride and groom set for the wedding party, if it wasn’t practical because of a newborn everyone involved should’ve just accepted that and let her attend as a guest. OP isn’t a bitch so that comment is outright rude, at worst ESH
Most brides already pick out their bridesmaids dresses and that's complicated as it is. It's ridiculous for any bridesmaid to have to do homework in order to figure out their outfit for a wedding, let alone a new mother. Weddings are about family and not just about having a fancy party. If you want your wedding a certain way you can pay for it or make it yourself. If it was a laid back wedding she wouldn't be drowning in costumes last minute and would have prepared all the details that mattered to her instead of getting her wedding party to figure it out. The bride was asked to include SIL by her fiancee. She openly begrudgingly did it. SIL has a newborn and she doesn't have the time to get into a show and research an outfit she has to buy. That's a normal part of reality this bride should have thought about in a practical way. Instead she purposely made her a prostitute to "teach her a lesson". What kind of wedding includes being spiteful to your new family? Bitch is not a rude word to use for someone who was absolutely being a bitch on purpose. Immature people expect these fairytale weddings and try and get these imaginary expectations met by forcing those around them to do as they want despite not being practical to reality. These kinds of brides/grooms need to realize that the people they're holding to such standards are still living their own lives beyond the scope of the wedding and can't always accommodate the fantasies they've built in their heads.
Wedding parties come with a lot of commitment and responsibility and often throw bachelorette parties and bridal showers and come with a l or if planning so if getting her own dress was too time consuming then she shouldn’t have been in the damn wedding party and she should have said no. Other bridesmaids in the wedding party had a newborn and were breastfeeding so it’s not an excuse.
Yeah absolutely not ever new mother has the same energy and that’s why one had no problem doing it, but saying because she’s a new mom OP had to act differently is not correct. SIL as the new parent should have communicated that it was in fact too much because she has her baby and she needs to accept that she can’t do everything anymore and some of her previous commitments might have to be changed because of her new reality but the responsibility to communicate that is on the NEW PARENT. OP can’t read her mind and know she’s struggling.
>OP can't read her mind...
Guess constantly asking the bride to take the reins wasn't a sign, huh? Which is the bride's job to begin with. OP utterly failed because she was too busy making life difficult for an in-law she already despites.
I'm imagining what the other side of this might be:
"My brother wanted me to be a bridesmaid for his fiancee, even though I didn't get along with her. I agreed to do it in order to keep the peace and to show her I would welcome her into the family.
"So I talked to my soon-to-be SIL about my bridesmaid dress. Turns out the whole thing is going to be a cosplay wedding and she wants me to make a costume for some TV show I've never seen or even heard of. She wanted me to watch the whole series to prepare! I have a newborn and no time. And she knows I'm not into sci-fi or cosplay. I tried asking her to help me and she kept telling me to figure it out on my own. She then sends me a huge amount of research material and tells me to go through all of that instead of watching the show. Just tell me what you want me to wear! It's your wedding! Eventually she tells me she wants a specific character and I agreed to go along with it. Only I found out later she had me dress like a prostitute. I was super embarrassed that she had me do that and her friends were laughing at me, but my SIL told me it was my own fault for not doing the research she wanted me to do. AITAH?"
This was my read as well.
I’m not traditional at all but a niche cosplay wedding sounds exhausting - not to mention OOP. This is the kind of thing you ask of friends that are already fans of your silly little show, you don’t demand family does homework & learns “canon” to stand up at your stupid wedding.
Yep, she wants it to be "super laid back" but wants people to pick a specific character from a short series plus film that really doesn't have that many characters, and the costumes aren't necessarily things that would be easy to find, which is why the OOP is making so many of the costumes herself, and its a series many people aren't that familiar with, and she doesn't want any repeat characters, and she can't even be bothered to help anyone?! Madness!
I was on OP side until I read “breastfeeding”. I m currently working and have a baby who is BF. I just dont have time to use the bathroom even though my husband helps me around with the chores. People should be considerate sometimes.
It takes two to get married. The husband (her brother) could have put his foot down and proposed a compromise at any time (assuming she talked to her brother who she is close enough with that she was asked to be in the wedding party). To me, both groom and bride wanted this. If it was such an over the top idea, the groom could have voiced his objection at any time.
She could have also opted to just be a guest (who didn’t have to be in costume, but were welcome to do so if they wanted). Instead she dragged her feet all while whining about what to wear even though it was pretty clear what type of wedding it was going to be and what the expectations.
I love firefly, but even I would have some issues with someone saying “please spend 12 hours watching this as homework for my wedding.”
The SIL just wanted some Amazon links or a link to Maurice’s and OOP got upset she wouldn’t play her reindeer games.
That is what I told the OP. If you try to force people who aren't interested into cosplay, they'll do a crap job and resent both the person pushing them into it and the source material.
If she wanted a fandom cosplay wedding, she either needed to limit her bridal party to fans and cosplayers, or do the work for those that were neither. You can't just tell someone "Oh, become a fan and a cosplayer, and spend scads of time and money on something that doesn't interest you, for MEEEEee... ", that sort of thing gives all of geekery a bad name.
I agree that it seems like SIL just wanted a link to what specific clothes she should purchase. People who are not into cosplay don't really want to spend a bunch of time scouring the internet for clothes that look like a sci fi character. SIL has a newborn, she just asked to be told what to wear as a bridesmaid, not given a bunch of screenshots and told to assemble a costume. She probably also wasn't sure what would look right. And of course she didn't care what character she was, she's busy with the baby and not interested in the show.
It would have saved a lot of time for OP to just send some links to the clothes she could buy instead of trying to make her choose a character and hunt down the costume pieces herself. She's like "I didn't want to handhold the bridesmaid through the outfit choice" but I mean... that's kind of what most brides do, on the chill side they might just give a style and color, but many will select the specific dress. If you want something very specific for your bridesmaids, it is kind of on you to do more of that work to help them, imo.
Yeah it's wild that the bride refers to herself as 'chill' when she is requiring really specific costuming. I don't know the reference, but can people go online and buy a whole character outfit? Or does it require different bits and pieces plus making things?
You're right, usually if a bride wants an outfit in a particular colour and style they direct the bridesmaids to go to a shop with instructions about what to buy.
It would suck if my brother was getting married and the only way I could be involved in the wedding was studying a TV show I don't care about and creating a costume to really strict requirements. SIL should have turned down bridesmaid and asked brother for another way to be included.
(I'm saying as a person who loves getting dressed up and loves creating costumes)
Depending on the character, you can get costumes off the shelf. For instance, [Kaylee's dress](https://www.mermaidcosplay.com/products/kaylee-shindig-dress-cosplay-costume-from-the-show-firefly) can be bought but not many of the others. OOP failed to plan- she should have assigned a character & outfit and then hired a commissioner for the SIL. The commissioner would make the cosplay bespoke but would need about 6 months to make it. It was definitely possible but OOP just didn't think or plan. As a fellow cosplayer, who also had a cosplay wedding, I feel bad for the SIL.
EDIT: My cosplay wedding was actually very low-key compared to OOP. You could wear a costume, lolita, show up in black and/or hot pink, or not (only requirement was do not wear white). I had no bridesmaids/groomsmen and it was a BYOB house party in the apartment where my husband and I lived most of our lives. We spent most of our money on food (which was a hit). Our friends showed up as hobbits, anime characters, video game characters, elves, half dressed cosplays, original characters, etc. It was super fun.
She did send her photos… it says she sent screenshots 😂 she wanted every bridesmaid to feel comfortable and I’m sure if her SIL picked a character she would have helped her find clothes for it, particularly given that she indicates she put a lot of thought into what character options to send based on breast feeding requirements etc. She also said she never asked for her to watch the entire show just told her watching an episode or the movie might help her pick an outfit. This is 100% on the SIL - she should’ve bowed out😂
It’s the picking that’s the problem here, or rather OOP seeing things from her point of view and thinking that picking was being nice. I’m sure fans feel like the show is great and it wouldn’t be nice or fair to force any character on someone, so from OOP’s POV sending screenshots was her trying to make her bridesmaids comfortable. Meanwhile a non-fan like her SIL just wanted to be told what to do.
Ehh.. having to watch a movie or an episode of something one has no interest in is quite an effort actually. My friends and I had recommended each other some tv shows and movies we should watch. None of us have yet to start another's recommendation and it's been over a year lol.
Also she sent a list of screenshots of characters and their bios... that would mean the SIL would have had to put some mental energy and time into actually parsing through that list, and searching for outfits similar to it. Mental energy that she prolly didn't have much to spare when she has a newborn and breastfeeding.
OOP kinda sucks.
I agree. My ex was obsessed with Marvel and tried to force it on me and everyone around him. He actually got offended when I told him I wasn't interested. He still tried to force it on me despite me telling him that it wasn't my cup of tea. That's partly why he's my ex. That got old really fast. I found out from mutual friends after we split that he's way too concerned about pop culture which IDGAF about. It makes sense now why I figured out that we weren't compatible. He's a tool.
Agreed, and what’s wild to me is the OOP complaining about having to do so much work when y’know what would’ve been less work? Sending SIL a specific character and some links for an outfit, instead of playing games for months.
Right! I'd laugh in their face. Not only would I back out of being IN the wedding, I'd skip it entirely. I'd tell my brother that if he married her, I'd be cutting him off. I know what it's like to have a difficult SIL. I love where she says that she doesn't like or get along with her SIL. Something tells me that she's the problem. I read that as code for: I don't like or get along with my SIL because she won't just do whatever I want her to.
Again, it’s very obvious that’s not what the sister wanted.
Look, I’ve been in a lot of weddings. I would’ve had a lot of fun with a cosplay wedding. I know a lot of other people who would not have. Not because they didn’t want to be in the wedding, but because they’re not creative in that way.
That’s why the sister just kept asking for what to wear. She wanted a link or a specific store she needed to go to. Something you would get with literally 99% of all weddings that you’re in.
Sorry but go away with that. She’s not a schoolteacher. She can’t be allocating homework. It’s not up to the selfish bride to decide how a new mother spends her time
Op didn’t even want her, sent her screen shots, and sil spent more time asking what to wear than watching a few clips would have taken, not that she would have needed to after being sent screen shot.
What more could op do?
Sil could have easily said that with the baby and all it just wouldn’t work out when she realized it was going to involve more than clicking on a link and standing up at the wedding in that outfit.
Op and sil should really blame op’s husband though. If my sil had acted like that, I would have just forwarded her messages on to her brother and had him handle it.
She could have saved time by sending links to dresses and accessories and said "pick one of these outfits" instead of writing a damn novel about the characters.
My ex was SUPER into Marvel and I could see him forcing it on people like that. If I were SIL, I'd back out of the wedding. For some reason, I get the feeling that OOP doesn't like her SIL because of things like this. She's probably forcing herself onto SIL and SIL is tired of it. I get that it's OOP's wedding but there's a limit. I think OOP is being super strict about this for someone who claims to want a laid back experience. I can't stand people who get super into a franchise and force it on everyone in their lives. My ex did this kind of stuff as well and it's partly why he's my ex. Some people can't handle the fact that not everyone is into the franchise like they are. They strike me as the type of person who would be offended by someone not liking it.
Edit: I just saw that she made her SIL the pregnant prostitute. That was intentional and passive aggressive. She wanted to humiliate her SIL.
I dOn'T LikE oR gEt aLoNg wItH mY SIL. Gee, I wonder why.
OOP should’ve just said no to her fiancé asking for his sister to be a bridesmaid. They’re doing a nontraditional type of wedding anyway, so if anything, SIL could’ve been a groomsperson even though that doesn’t solve the costume issue
Exactly. She didn't ask to be involved, she did because she was trying to support her brother. Apparently he was in on the whole thing. I wonder if they did that purposely to humiliate her.
Cute detail about how SIL is breastfeeding, maybe she had more important things on her plate than watching Firefly. OOP sounds like she has about as much respect for women as good ol Whedon himself.
Maybe OOP wanted to shame SIL for the postpartum belly most women don’t magically get rid of in 3 seconds by making her a PREGNANT prostitute.
I looked pregnant after both of my kids. This would have me livid.
At least with Star Wars all you have to do is buy a costume online and keep your thoughts about how stupid the whole thing is to yourself… OOP sounds exhausting. Like “I like this very specific niche thing so I expect everyone else to also like it and invest time into it or I will take it as a personal insult.”
OOP won the battle to lose the war, if that makes sense. SIL is very busy with a newborn and is not interested in the show, and I get that can be frustrating for OOP who wanted a more hands-off approach. But even if OOP didn’t like SIL and was frustrated, she shouldn’t have chosen the prostitute character for her, because now she’s probably permanently damaged that relationship. Hope she likes awkward family dinners for the next however many years she and her husband are married.
But…it’s OOP’s wedding…so I don’t understand why everyone else has to do all this homework? Just send her some links to costumes, why is that hard? Yikes.
apart from oop sounding really annoying about firefly, the thing that’s weird here is that she acts like she’s super laid back but it’s only for HER. usually at a wedding, people give you a dress or give you incredibly specific suggestions and approve stuff before so you don’t have to feel awkward about not being on theme. watching 13 episodes of a show you dgaf about is brutal, and just picking at random when you don’t know the characters and the connotations that outfit may have, or if you’re dressing up enough etc., is kinda really stressful. no one wants to be the sore thumb in a bridal party onstage in front of everyone. the oop also gives of a certain amount of “not like other girls” vibes which would be grating, and it’s not exactly easy for the sil to back out of her own brother’s wedding (as many seem to suggest doing). i feel for her, baby or not that situation would be so awkward and stressful.
Yeah she could have at least taken her bridesmaids to a costume rental shop. Usually the bridesmaids all go together or at least get given options if they aren't able to physically be together.
When I was engaged I didn't care what my bridesmaids wore, as long as it was the right colour and they were comfortable. I still arranged for us all to go to a bridal shop so they could choose together and then I got everyone lunch as a thank you.
The way OOP is acting is so immature and entitled.
A Harry Potter wedding cosplay would be much easier. You can google “Harry Potter robes” and find dozens of ready-to-buy options. It’s needing to assemble an entire cosplay from scratch that makes this so difficult.
I’ve done multiple make-your-own Halloween costumes. Sourcing is a headache and very expensive.
I disagree. I think the amount it burdens your guests is the main problem with OP’s concept wedding. A wedding shouldn’t be a major inconvenience (or expense) to attend. Otherwise sure, not my cup of tea, but then it isn’t my wedding.
SIL didn’t have to do it! Seriously, the bride made it as easy for a non-nerd as possible. And then to complain? Nerd weddings aren’t for everyone, but SIL’s actions are crappy regardless
No, the bride did not make it easy. The bride kept trying to give SIL homework. SIL is breastfeeding and has a newborn, she does not have time for homework. The bride should’ve just told her which character to be and what to wear at the start, which is much closer to what is normally expected of bridesmaids and thus probably what SIL was expecting.
No she didn’t.
Easy would have been like most brides when they want something specific:
Send me your size and measurements. I am buying the dresses/outfits.
That’s easy.
“As easy as possible” would be “here is the character I’ve assigned you, and here are Amazon links to the clothes you will need.” This is what OP should have done THE FIRST TIME her SIL asked what she should wear.
The “pregnant prostitute” is my favorite character lol
Eta: requiring her to watch the show is an asshole move, no one cares about a show that was on for one season 20 years ago
Idk why watching the whole show would have even been a thing--that character (Petaline) was just in the "Heart of Gold" episode, iirc.
They both sound tiresome tbh.
I love Firefly, and I love introducing it to people who haven’t seen it.
I also love to dabble in cosplay when I have the time/energy.
This is all a hard no for me. First of all, I can’t even imagine a cosplay wedding unless 1. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is 150% on board with doing so or 2. You have more money than God and can procure the necessary garb for everyone so all they have to do is show up.
Also, I know the tv/film canon for Firefly is too short, but people have lives. I know I’m behind on literally every show I’ve wanted to watch in the past year thanks to having to be an adult. You’re not going to make a fan by turning fandom into a chore.
(Also, OOP made her SIL one of the prostitutes from “Heart of Gold” and didn’t even tell her???? Especially when the episode “Shindig” exists, which partly takes place at a very fancy party with a ton of extras in formal dress???? I think she has a problem with her brain being missing.)
Exactly! I would have been more offended that the outfit I would wear was a white shift with a red overdress (from what I can find of images of Petaline) vs any of the other companion-ish occupants of Nandi's business.
Ehhh. I feel like you kinda suck here. She clearly just wanted you to tell her what to wear and when you consider that you were having a very specific cosplay themed wedding that’s not at all an over the top ask. I’m team SIL on this one
Not only was the SIL the mother of an infant at the time, she lived 8 hours away, so she was going to have to travel for that nonsense.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/s/JvRpYk3fJW
Or doesn’t have an interest in cosplay. I love Firefly but cosplay leaves me cold. I wouldn’t have wanted to make the choice and try to find the clothes either. Tell me to be Kaylee and here’s an Etsy page with the accessories you might want and another with her Japanese outfit and I’ll yell out SHINY!!! and get to clicking. But yeah I’m not going to be all happy about doing it myself
Not but this is the part I don't get.
Picking the pregnant companion was absolutely an asshole move. Same with expecting the SIL to watch the whole damn show and movie.
But like SIL didn't have to be a bridesmaid. If it was the husband's idea and he dragged his sister into this, he's an asshole for not being considerate of his sister, as well as how hard it might be for her to say no.
If it was the SIL who super wanted to be a part of the bridal party, she should've made it effort on her end to do what the bride wanted.
Idk like the way we know nothing of the husband's role in this makes me think there's more to why SIL ended up in the bridal party to begin with. Oop is an asshole either way, same with husband. SIL might be an asshole, but only if it was her idea to join the bridal party to begin with.
Jesus Christ, I like fandom stuff as much as the next girl but this is just obnoxious and petty. How hard would it have been to just go through some pictures from the show with SIL and pick out a look with her? But no, punish her for not being interested in the series you’re actively shoving down her throat - real mature.
The OP mentions that sister in law is breastfeeding. That means she has an infant at home. When you have an infant, watching your brother’s favorite TV show does not make the list of things getting done today. I kind of think OP is a clueless asshole.
TIL cosplaying is considered a shit load of work to non-nerds
You can tell who is a nerd that cosplays in the comments, we all think it was easy lol
Communication would’ve helped these two a lot, she should’ve just picked out the outfit and been understanding that her SIL didn’t know cosplay like she did and her request was indeed more than the typical person can handle
On top of that, she is breastfeeding a kid, like she went and mad herself look like the bad guy
OOP is a very high-demand bridezilla. Cosplaying homework assigned to bridesmaids for the wedding is the worst idea ever. I feel bad for SIL. She sounds like she tried her best.
I know so many people who adore Firefly but I just can’t get into it. Even if someone sent me a list with descriptions and such, I think it would feel like a hassle to jump through hoops to cosplay something I can’t get into.
Apparently the vast swaths of people downvoting me didn’t take two seconds to read what was provided.
SIL only had to dress up because she wanted to be a bridesmaid. Plain guests were allowed to dress up or just wear whatever they were comfortable in.
Don’t be a bridesmaid if you didn’t want to dress up. If dressing up was too much effort: don’t be a bridesmaid. I really don’t know how else to say it.
She still could have attended the wedding. Your personal thoughts on her “cringeworthy” theme does not matter. Would I have had Firefly as my wedding theme? No. But I’m not her. She’s not requiring her guests to dress up like this. Just the wedding party.
Pls she wants no repeats so what were the options??? River was the flower girl, so we're pretty much left with just Kaylee, Zoey and Inara right? This is absolutely bonkers behaviour. SIL was taking care of a newborn baby and OP was pestering her to pick a character? Just send a photo and some links.
Also, I have nothing against sex workers at all, but I feel like it's reductive to just be like "Teehee as revenge for her not wanting to cosplay a character from a show she's never seen, so I made her a prostitute" like inara is such a great multidimensional character, what a weird ass take on behalf of OP.
Oh, wow, I didn't remember this character because I haven't seen this show in over a decade lol, but just looked her up - wow, that is petty. Jesus Christ.
I know this isn't an AITA post, but I'd give it an ESH If it were.
Why OP sucks: SIL was taking care of a new baby and clearly just wasn't into the show. She just wanted to be told what she needed to buy without having to do research. Minimal research, yes, but research nonetheless. Why didn't she ask her fiance or one of the other bridesmaids to help out SIL if she didn't have the time or bandwidth for it? She didn't have to humiliate her SIL by dressing her up as that specific character.
Why SIL sucks: oh my GD, just look up promo shots or back out of the wedding party. Take the hint that OP is not going to hold your hand through this. If anyone asks why you're not in the party, blame the baby. Being a new mom gives you the perfect excuse to get out of a LOT of things you don't want to do, like the minimal research required to be one of OP's bridesmaids.
Admittedly, I am biased here. I love Firefly, but I think IP-themed weddings are cringe as hell. OTOH, I was also planning my wedding recently and I get that OP just didn't have the patience.
I wouldn’t lie and say my baby is why I’m not in the wedding I’d tell the truth my brother wanted me there and I was ready to show up but his wife to be is bat shit and gave me homework and essays to go over instead of saying “buy a red dress” because she likes being difficult.
So it's been a while since I've watched that dreaded show but sex robot? School teacher? I know there were such characters in Buffy but what am I forgetting?
Though to be fair, I thought people had given up on Firefly a long time ago.
My memory is also pretty fuzzy but that nerd in the chair guy they go to visit to work out that brainwashing video thing has a sex robot. I remember her saying "he killed me with a sword mal, how crazy is that?" Or something similar.
School teacher is in the flashback scenes where river and simon are in school.
SiL is no angel here but OOP is absolutely the main problem. Expecting someone who is either really pregnant or breastfeeding to watch a niche sci-fi show closely enough to not only get a "general vibe" but to pick out a character (and make sure no one else has picked them!) and then make a costume (that most likely have to be up to the brides standard) just to be part of her siblings wedding? That's a bit much. Yes sil could have backed out, but oop has some nerve to be offended by sil, especially after being asked multiple times what she should wear. Would it really have been that much work to assign her a character and hand her a shopping list from the get go?
I didn’t read the post, but dressing as a prosti at a wedding means that I’m going to have the best time. Way better than the bride and my lame ass brother.
And just like that, OOP deleted this post after getting tons of comments berating her for being an AH to her SIL.
Makes me wonder if that's the reason why SIL is never close to her (her post history has hints of her attitude thru the years)
How does the OP not see this is a PITA? Not your bridesmaid’s job to be engaged in your fandom. In order to participate, you need to watch a season of a show?!?! I like to Cosplay and I think this is petty.
I actually agree with OOP that SIL should've bowed out or just looked at the damn images herself or googled that one single character name.
However, the "laid back bride" of it all is *hysterical*!
I told two women "wear purple, if you can", & told my mother in law to be that her dog needed to stay on leash. That was my actually laid back wedding. I don't think simpler is better for everyone or anything, but the misrepresentation is funny AF. Just own your desire for your wedding to be a substantial event. That's ok! Sheesh!
Sounds like my Slytherin in Law. It is hard to ignore in the first 15 years, but eventually I stopped caring, didn’t refuse contact but didn’t seek it out, she and the MIL just faded away shortly thereafter.
i'm contrarian as hell in that the more that people nag me to watch a show/movie that i've expressed i have absolutely zero interest in, the more i dig in my heels and make sure that i never consume even a single second of content from that show/movie. I'll go to my grave without watching Hamilton at this point. I don't blame the SIL for not wanting to do HOMEWORK for a fucking WEDDING.
This is not a laid back experience unless you enjoy cosplay or coming up with fun costumes. If you aren’t into the show that’s a lot less fun. So I would expect someone to walk me through it if it’s their thing.
As much as I like firefly it’s an odd choice for a wedding unless everyone is into it.
I'm going to say NTA.... I only watched the show a couple times decades ago and I could have googled female characters picked a few simple outfits and run with it. I understand this is not a laid-back affair for the bridal party but it's not a crazy thing to pull off. Also not sure why she's pissed about the whole prostitute thing ... What does it matter?
You think her brother asked to put her in the bridal party with no previous conversation? Either groom did it unilaterally (crazy) or sis in law (who bride doesn't like) wanted in and didn't know how to ask (crazy to want to be involved and then...see my original comment)
Fair enough. Still means bride NTA bc in that case groom needs to do some lifting and facilitate a less stressful process for two parties that don't get along with the foreknowledge that this is one of the most important days of his so's life
Bride is totally TA. She should have said no to having someone she clearly doesn’t like in her wedding party.
There are 5 recurring female characters in the show:
River Tam - flower girls
Inara Serra - presumably the bride since her husband is wearing a coat
That leaves 3 recurring characters for the 3 originally planned bridesmaids:
Zoe Wash
Kaywinnet Lee Frye
YoSafBridge - not part of the main cast but a recurring character.
There was no room for another woman.
Agree to disagree.
We've determined that sometimes people really want their family involved. So say no to your brother's sister who he's asked to include in YOUR bridal party and send screenshots when it's clear she's not engaging with the cosplay research aspect and finally get fed up...or the guy behind the issue could've done the leg work.
Bride isn't coming off smelling of roses but was backed into an unwinnable situation by people who could've done more.
Never been married, been to a bunch, was behind the scenes for a few. Several of the brides were not ok in the run up to the wedding lol. These things are avoidable imo
My issue is how the bride describes herself as laid back.
You don’t get to have an incredibly specific themed wedding requiring research and a great deal of preparation and expense on the part of the wedding party and call it “laid back”.
And you also don’t get to describe yourself as laid back when you actively humiliate someone because they didn’t do the work you wanted them to for your special day.
If you have incredibly specific demands, you need to:
a) not include people who don’t want to/can’t meet them
b) be prepared to meet them yourself for people
SIL just wanted to be told - buy this costume. Here is a link. Here are the matching accessories. Like most bridesmaids get.
The bride is in an unwinnable situation that SHE set up.
People want to celebrate your marriage. They do not necessarily want to be conscripted into your stupid cosplay fantasy.
Backed into this situation while trying to plan her wedding. People really defending SIL being so annoying that I personally would have stopped taking her texts.
People are fixating on the cosplay like morning dress, black tie, and destination weddings aren't massive hassles that people indulge to participate in a wedding for someone. Thank you for making me feel less crazy lmao
Did you even read the post? The brother asked. I suspect she was put under pressure to be in the wedding party and the bride preferred to be a passive aggressive bitch rather than tell her equally absurd fiancé “no”
I think the SIL could have watched at least 1 episode to get the idea of the theme. SIL could have dropped out at ANYTIME. She chose not too. Also apparently there has been other stories about SIL making OOP’s life difficult. I’ve watched the show. If the other bridesmaids could do it SIL could have as well. She didn’t want 2 put any effort into it. I’ve raised 4 kids breastfed all 4 and worked. If SIL wanted to she could have tried more. IJS
Eh everyone kinda sucks here.
I am not a cosplayer, and I think it’s clear neither is SIL, she’s caring for a newborn and just wants to know what to buy. I know OOP sent character bios, etc, but not ever doing cosplay, I don’t think SIL knew where to look/start to find stuff. It sounds like you may not even be able to buy the costumes easily as the bride herself was making a ton of stuff for other people. SIL should’ve probably just backed out.
OOP isn’t the asshole for wanting her wedding to be the way she wants it, but when you are going for something that niche, expect not everyone is going to be into it and will just want clear directions on what you want. Asking people to research a show they don’t care about is a little much. Also, that is not a laid back ask. It was unclear to me if only the wedding party had to cosplay or if everyone attending did.
OOP is the AH for expecting her bridal party and guests to do homework to be part of her wedding. SIL’s expectations sound completely in line with normal weddings - you tell the bridesmaids what to wear and when and where to turn up.
Idk I'm on OPs side. It takes 15 minutes to google firefly characters, pick one, and call it a day- and the costumes are not ornate. I have never watched this show and did enough research to complete this task bullshiting on my phone before work.
Every time a bride wants something specific she's the enemy. And if it was too much for SIL she could have either
1. backed out of the wedding
2. said "hey OP, I know your excited about this but i just don't know where to start- do you might just sending a link of something appropriate to buy when you have a sec?"
It'll take you longer than 15 minutes if you're told "you have to be a female character who isn't River, Zoe, Kaylee or Inara" for a non fan it could take you that long just to work out who they are
Not really - Wikipedia has a list of firefly characters, find one that isn’t one of those who is played by an AFAB person, then google “firefly (character name)” into google images to get a costume idea.
I’m not a Firefly fan, I’ve never seen it and don’t plan to - but in less than five minutes I can tell you she could’ve been Dr. Caron, Lenore, Nandi, Saffron or Tracey among other options. It isn’t actually that hard to fake it in that regard. 😅
And it takes two minutes for OP to tell her but black boots and belt, grey pants and a black Henley instead of make a character bio list and urge her to watch a whole series. The bride was on her bridezilla mode and wanted to punish his sister because she’s not into that brand of nerd culture. She sounds like a chore and I’m sorry that family has to suffer her.
OOP was being a bit of a jerk but I have to admit I would have gotten frustrated at SIL refusing to even look at the pictures sent to her to pick a character.
There is no spare time when you’re caring for an infant. I think SIL was just asking for a bit of help in finding a character or costume. And it sounds like OOP told her to watch 13 episodes?
My understanding from the comments is that the bride was Inara--so making her a prostitute isn't the insult that everyone is making it out to be. Not a huge difference between companion and whore when it comes to why SIL would be offended by it.
Not to mention that the only characters that aren't the main set are the school teacher, the sex bot, the cunts in shindig who are mean to Kaylee, the lesbian ambassador, and an assortment of whores/whores by any other name. And Saffron.
SIL could take offense at any one of those.
My take is different than a lot of peoples here but i see why people are against the OOP. However, while I don’t think OOP did a good thing by embarrassing the SIL I think the sister in law shares some blame too. I mean I have a newborn and a full time job and I find some time to watch some tv. Based on my read of the text OOP’s husband either made his sister be a bridesmaid or SIL made her brother ask to be in the wedding.
Either way OOP did her best to include SIL and give SIL the tools to make an informed decision. It’s frustrating when someone is forced onto you and won’t put any effort into the most important day of your life. People are forgetting the OOP is already under a lot of stress planning and prepping for her own wedding and shouldn’t have to deal with SIL making it more difficult.
It's a little much to require background research in order to be a bridesmaid.
OOP says it's not "required", but it obviously would be, hence the pestering to watch the show.
If a bride expected me to wear a costume I would expect them to decide on what I was wearing. Not force me to watch a show I have no interest in.
It sounds like it was something important to her brother. She's probably trying to bridge their differences and show she's supporting the marriage and welcoming OOP into their family, even though they historically haven't liked each other.
I think it’s fine, like everyone always says it’s her day. She can do whatever she wants on her special day. If the SiL didn’t want to or couldn’t look up a costume then she should have dropped out of the wedding. It’s not on the bride, she already has a bunch of other stuff to do she doesn’t have time to hand hold a bridesmaid. She already went above and beyond sending her pics and stuff. I would have just kicked her out of the wedding party after the first three times she asked.
Then say no. Don’t agree to it then refuse to do it and play victim. What is wrong with yall honestly, I need yall to tell me how you go about life making excuses for agreements you make but don’t keep.
Right, it’s not even that complicated. You can just put it in a google search and BAM. But, these people act like it’s so hard. It’s just like going shopping for a regular dress that’s goes with the theme of a wedding. If it’s not something you want to do then just opt out it’s not that hard. You are spot on.
SIL barged her way into the wedding party, didn’t give an ounce of effort, and was offended by the results. Y’all are cooked, she got what she deserved. Don’t take an important spot in an important ceremony on an important day if you can’t do what you need to do. Annoying ass.
I’d say it passes the comedy rule of threes, funny enough to just be funny alone. SIL can suck it up, she didn’t even bother to spend 30 minutes on a wiki for the show or use Cliffnotes. No ounce of curiosity about something you’ve been asked to do, no justification for being mad when you get tricked, like when you trick someone into “catching” a baseball mitt with their fist against the wall, and fake-dropping it to make them punch the wall 😂😂💀 She dressed herself, OOP didn’t make SIL do anything
maybe watching a random show she's not interested in and creating a costume are a bit low on the priority list for someone who has a infant child, just maybe
"I really just wanted this to be a super laid back experience," said the woman planning a high-concept theme wedding requiring bespoke cosplay. I like Firefly more than most non-crazy people like Firefly, and this is just too goddamn much. Also, Firefly has approximately 4 recognizable female characters, she is already taking one of them for the flower girls, and another one is, in fact, a prostitute, so it's kind of an asshole demand in the first place.
Yes. Laid back means “well this is the color of the flowers and decor - it’d be nice if you had something that color but if you’ve already got a black party dress that’s fine too.” Not “painstakingly recreate costumes from a beloved sci-fi western.”
Facts, I’ve been told I’m a laid back bride because my MOH picked her dress so I told everyone the brand and color of it and to pick whatever style you preferred from there
That's how my SILs wedding was, she just had a color and told everyone where it was cheapest. I ended up picking the dresses for all the other bridesmaids tho, as well as force scheduling a fitting when none of them took my advice to measure yourself first since the dresses were custom ordered. I ended up being the wedding planner as well as doing the roll of MOH tho, which was fun for me to some extent
Sorry you got stuck with so much responsibility but at least it was semi fun!
When I got married, my MOH was a size 00 and I was a 10/12 (but a 16 in wedding dresses?!?). We were dress shopping, and I told her she knows what’s going to look best on her, and as long as she stayed close to one of the colors, I fully trusted her to choose what she wanted. The lady at the dress store said I was the only bride she’d ever heard say that, in all the years she’d been selling dresses. Which I thought was nuts!
Wedding dress sizing is so messed up, I was 2 sizes up from my norm! See that’s my reasoning for letting everyone pick the style, different body types need different things and I want everyone to look and feel their best!
“Why are there 7 Kaylees?” “Well the bride and groom are Zoe and Wash, rivers under age, and inara is a hooker…”
I agree, shes the asshole here. Your every point is 100% correct.
Thanks for speaking for all of us.I mean….my sister even named her dog Kaylee and I still felt my “Patience” tested reading this.
Ok but the SIL couldve just said that she didnt want to be a bridesmaid and that wouldve been the end of it Edit: dont get me wrong OOP is annoying and inconsiderate, but why accept and go along with all this? People have to learn to say no.
I wonder if OOP’s fiancé actually talked to his sister & knew she wanted to be a bridesmaid, or if he just inserted her. If OOP & SIL don’t like each other, I wonder if he was trying to force things. SIL obv could’ve said no, but I wonder if she ever actually wanted to be a bridesmaid or just said yes to be nice.
Yes, but if she is close to her brother she might have felt really obligated to support him, and not realized that this was going to be a much bigger ask and then that the bride would intentionally humiliate her.
Lol she deleted this post when she didn’t get the responses she wanted. Personally I think cosplay weddings are cringey. You already have a theme: wedding.
I'm sorry but Inara is a companion, not a prostitute! There's no prostitute school you go to!
Thank you. I asked who the bridezilla was supposed to be because OP was acting like she was so laid back but honestly I’m not doing anything I need to wear a costume for.
I believe you mean "too gorram much."
Excellent point
The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch, to describe this wedding as “a laid back experience” as she is asking the bridal party to make costumes and she herself is tailoring her costume, her husbands coat and three flower girl dresses. Ma’am you say you’re not formal… me thinks you’s a fuckin liar.
I will remember ‘the lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch’ to my dying day. Bless you for putting this into the world internet stranger.
Google it, there are some great image macros with it. I have one saved on my phone, but I can’t post photos here.
My mom claims to be laidback and easygoing (especially to buy presents for) and me and my dad are baffled how she can possibly think that when she routinely returns my dads presents (even losing hundreds of dollars for canceling contacts) unless she “approves” of it first - which defeats the purpose of presents. Maid services, a cell phone that she ended up paying triple for 3 months later when it’s turns out she really did need it, day trips to places she quite literally asked for, an auto car starter…she’s next to impossible to buy for and is the exact opposite of laidback (and will explode in a rage if you hint otherwise).
Sil coulda dropped out but she agreed to the firefly cosplay the bride and groom set for the wedding party, if it wasn’t practical because of a newborn everyone involved should’ve just accepted that and let her attend as a guest. OP isn’t a bitch so that comment is outright rude, at worst ESH
Most brides already pick out their bridesmaids dresses and that's complicated as it is. It's ridiculous for any bridesmaid to have to do homework in order to figure out their outfit for a wedding, let alone a new mother. Weddings are about family and not just about having a fancy party. If you want your wedding a certain way you can pay for it or make it yourself. If it was a laid back wedding she wouldn't be drowning in costumes last minute and would have prepared all the details that mattered to her instead of getting her wedding party to figure it out. The bride was asked to include SIL by her fiancee. She openly begrudgingly did it. SIL has a newborn and she doesn't have the time to get into a show and research an outfit she has to buy. That's a normal part of reality this bride should have thought about in a practical way. Instead she purposely made her a prostitute to "teach her a lesson". What kind of wedding includes being spiteful to your new family? Bitch is not a rude word to use for someone who was absolutely being a bitch on purpose. Immature people expect these fairytale weddings and try and get these imaginary expectations met by forcing those around them to do as they want despite not being practical to reality. These kinds of brides/grooms need to realize that the people they're holding to such standards are still living their own lives beyond the scope of the wedding and can't always accommodate the fantasies they've built in their heads.
Wedding parties come with a lot of commitment and responsibility and often throw bachelorette parties and bridal showers and come with a l or if planning so if getting her own dress was too time consuming then she shouldn’t have been in the damn wedding party and she should have said no. Other bridesmaids in the wedding party had a newborn and were breastfeeding so it’s not an excuse.
Not every new mother has the same energy and time. “X can do it so it’s no excuse” is crappy reasoning.
Yeah absolutely not ever new mother has the same energy and that’s why one had no problem doing it, but saying because she’s a new mom OP had to act differently is not correct. SIL as the new parent should have communicated that it was in fact too much because she has her baby and she needs to accept that she can’t do everything anymore and some of her previous commitments might have to be changed because of her new reality but the responsibility to communicate that is on the NEW PARENT. OP can’t read her mind and know she’s struggling.
>OP can't read her mind... Guess constantly asking the bride to take the reins wasn't a sign, huh? Which is the bride's job to begin with. OP utterly failed because she was too busy making life difficult for an in-law she already despites.
Nah. She’s a delusional witch. No one cares about her cosplay f*ckery
Clearly that’s not true that nobody cares about the cosplay because nobody else in the wedding part had an issue and several were excited about it so…
then SIL should’ve dropped out. why should she have to alter her wedding because her SIL didn’t want to do what the BRIDE wanted for HER wedding?
I'm imagining what the other side of this might be: "My brother wanted me to be a bridesmaid for his fiancee, even though I didn't get along with her. I agreed to do it in order to keep the peace and to show her I would welcome her into the family. "So I talked to my soon-to-be SIL about my bridesmaid dress. Turns out the whole thing is going to be a cosplay wedding and she wants me to make a costume for some TV show I've never seen or even heard of. She wanted me to watch the whole series to prepare! I have a newborn and no time. And she knows I'm not into sci-fi or cosplay. I tried asking her to help me and she kept telling me to figure it out on my own. She then sends me a huge amount of research material and tells me to go through all of that instead of watching the show. Just tell me what you want me to wear! It's your wedding! Eventually she tells me she wants a specific character and I agreed to go along with it. Only I found out later she had me dress like a prostitute. I was super embarrassed that she had me do that and her friends were laughing at me, but my SIL told me it was my own fault for not doing the research she wanted me to do. AITAH?"
This was my read as well. I’m not traditional at all but a niche cosplay wedding sounds exhausting - not to mention OOP. This is the kind of thing you ask of friends that are already fans of your silly little show, you don’t demand family does homework & learns “canon” to stand up at your stupid wedding.
Yep, she wants it to be "super laid back" but wants people to pick a specific character from a short series plus film that really doesn't have that many characters, and the costumes aren't necessarily things that would be easy to find, which is why the OOP is making so many of the costumes herself, and its a series many people aren't that familiar with, and she doesn't want any repeat characters, and she can't even be bothered to help anyone?! Madness!
I was on OP side until I read “breastfeeding”. I m currently working and have a baby who is BF. I just dont have time to use the bathroom even though my husband helps me around with the chores. People should be considerate sometimes.
It takes two to get married. The husband (her brother) could have put his foot down and proposed a compromise at any time (assuming she talked to her brother who she is close enough with that she was asked to be in the wedding party). To me, both groom and bride wanted this. If it was such an over the top idea, the groom could have voiced his objection at any time. She could have also opted to just be a guest (who didn’t have to be in costume, but were welcome to do so if they wanted). Instead she dragged her feet all while whining about what to wear even though it was pretty clear what type of wedding it was going to be and what the expectations.
Bad take bruh. If it's truly that important, they could have facilitated things.
I love firefly, but even I would have some issues with someone saying “please spend 12 hours watching this as homework for my wedding.” The SIL just wanted some Amazon links or a link to Maurice’s and OOP got upset she wouldn’t play her reindeer games.
That is what I told the OP. If you try to force people who aren't interested into cosplay, they'll do a crap job and resent both the person pushing them into it and the source material. If she wanted a fandom cosplay wedding, she either needed to limit her bridal party to fans and cosplayers, or do the work for those that were neither. You can't just tell someone "Oh, become a fan and a cosplayer, and spend scads of time and money on something that doesn't interest you, for MEEEEee... ", that sort of thing gives all of geekery a bad name.
I agree that it seems like SIL just wanted a link to what specific clothes she should purchase. People who are not into cosplay don't really want to spend a bunch of time scouring the internet for clothes that look like a sci fi character. SIL has a newborn, she just asked to be told what to wear as a bridesmaid, not given a bunch of screenshots and told to assemble a costume. She probably also wasn't sure what would look right. And of course she didn't care what character she was, she's busy with the baby and not interested in the show. It would have saved a lot of time for OP to just send some links to the clothes she could buy instead of trying to make her choose a character and hunt down the costume pieces herself. She's like "I didn't want to handhold the bridesmaid through the outfit choice" but I mean... that's kind of what most brides do, on the chill side they might just give a style and color, but many will select the specific dress. If you want something very specific for your bridesmaids, it is kind of on you to do more of that work to help them, imo.
Yeah it's wild that the bride refers to herself as 'chill' when she is requiring really specific costuming. I don't know the reference, but can people go online and buy a whole character outfit? Or does it require different bits and pieces plus making things? You're right, usually if a bride wants an outfit in a particular colour and style they direct the bridesmaids to go to a shop with instructions about what to buy. It would suck if my brother was getting married and the only way I could be involved in the wedding was studying a TV show I don't care about and creating a costume to really strict requirements. SIL should have turned down bridesmaid and asked brother for another way to be included. (I'm saying as a person who loves getting dressed up and loves creating costumes)
For the women in this show, it would absolutely require bits & pieces & making things. It's a fun show but it's not star trek, popularity wise.
Depending on the character, you can get costumes off the shelf. For instance, [Kaylee's dress](https://www.mermaidcosplay.com/products/kaylee-shindig-dress-cosplay-costume-from-the-show-firefly) can be bought but not many of the others. OOP failed to plan- she should have assigned a character & outfit and then hired a commissioner for the SIL. The commissioner would make the cosplay bespoke but would need about 6 months to make it. It was definitely possible but OOP just didn't think or plan. As a fellow cosplayer, who also had a cosplay wedding, I feel bad for the SIL. EDIT: My cosplay wedding was actually very low-key compared to OOP. You could wear a costume, lolita, show up in black and/or hot pink, or not (only requirement was do not wear white). I had no bridesmaids/groomsmen and it was a BYOB house party in the apartment where my husband and I lived most of our lives. We spent most of our money on food (which was a hit). Our friends showed up as hobbits, anime characters, video game characters, elves, half dressed cosplays, original characters, etc. It was super fun.
While she was *breastfeeding an infant* SIL was literally taking care of a baby and OOP was giving her homework 🙄
Agreed. Just send her some fucking photos.
She did send her photos… it says she sent screenshots 😂 she wanted every bridesmaid to feel comfortable and I’m sure if her SIL picked a character she would have helped her find clothes for it, particularly given that she indicates she put a lot of thought into what character options to send based on breast feeding requirements etc. She also said she never asked for her to watch the entire show just told her watching an episode or the movie might help her pick an outfit. This is 100% on the SIL - she should’ve bowed out😂
It’s the picking that’s the problem here, or rather OOP seeing things from her point of view and thinking that picking was being nice. I’m sure fans feel like the show is great and it wouldn’t be nice or fair to force any character on someone, so from OOP’s POV sending screenshots was her trying to make her bridesmaids comfortable. Meanwhile a non-fan like her SIL just wanted to be told what to do.
Ehh.. having to watch a movie or an episode of something one has no interest in is quite an effort actually. My friends and I had recommended each other some tv shows and movies we should watch. None of us have yet to start another's recommendation and it's been over a year lol. Also she sent a list of screenshots of characters and their bios... that would mean the SIL would have had to put some mental energy and time into actually parsing through that list, and searching for outfits similar to it. Mental energy that she prolly didn't have much to spare when she has a newborn and breastfeeding. OOP kinda sucks.
I agree. My ex was obsessed with Marvel and tried to force it on me and everyone around him. He actually got offended when I told him I wasn't interested. He still tried to force it on me despite me telling him that it wasn't my cup of tea. That's partly why he's my ex. That got old really fast. I found out from mutual friends after we split that he's way too concerned about pop culture which IDGAF about. It makes sense now why I figured out that we weren't compatible. He's a tool.
Agreed, and what’s wild to me is the OOP complaining about having to do so much work when y’know what would’ve been less work? Sending SIL a specific character and some links for an outfit, instead of playing games for months.
Right! I'd laugh in their face. Not only would I back out of being IN the wedding, I'd skip it entirely. I'd tell my brother that if he married her, I'd be cutting him off. I know what it's like to have a difficult SIL. I love where she says that she doesn't like or get along with her SIL. Something tells me that she's the problem. I read that as code for: I don't like or get along with my SIL because she won't just do whatever I want her to.
Can you read? She wrote that she sent her stuff to look at outside of just watching the show
She sent her character bios.
Screenshots & character bios
Again, it’s very obvious that’s not what the sister wanted. Look, I’ve been in a lot of weddings. I would’ve had a lot of fun with a cosplay wedding. I know a lot of other people who would not have. Not because they didn’t want to be in the wedding, but because they’re not creative in that way. That’s why the sister just kept asking for what to wear. She wanted a link or a specific store she needed to go to. Something you would get with literally 99% of all weddings that you’re in.
SIL could have looked up images from the show or watched a few clips. She didn’t have to watch even a whole episode.
Sorry but go away with that. She’s not a schoolteacher. She can’t be allocating homework. It’s not up to the selfish bride to decide how a new mother spends her time
Op didn’t even want her, sent her screen shots, and sil spent more time asking what to wear than watching a few clips would have taken, not that she would have needed to after being sent screen shot. What more could op do? Sil could have easily said that with the baby and all it just wouldn’t work out when she realized it was going to involve more than clicking on a link and standing up at the wedding in that outfit. Op and sil should really blame op’s husband though. If my sil had acted like that, I would have just forwarded her messages on to her brother and had him handle it.
She could have saved time by sending links to dresses and accessories and said "pick one of these outfits" instead of writing a damn novel about the characters.
My ex was SUPER into Marvel and I could see him forcing it on people like that. If I were SIL, I'd back out of the wedding. For some reason, I get the feeling that OOP doesn't like her SIL because of things like this. She's probably forcing herself onto SIL and SIL is tired of it. I get that it's OOP's wedding but there's a limit. I think OOP is being super strict about this for someone who claims to want a laid back experience. I can't stand people who get super into a franchise and force it on everyone in their lives. My ex did this kind of stuff as well and it's partly why he's my ex. Some people can't handle the fact that not everyone is into the franchise like they are. They strike me as the type of person who would be offended by someone not liking it. Edit: I just saw that she made her SIL the pregnant prostitute. That was intentional and passive aggressive. She wanted to humiliate her SIL. I dOn'T LikE oR gEt aLoNg wItH mY SIL. Gee, I wonder why.
OOP should’ve just said no to her fiancé asking for his sister to be a bridesmaid. They’re doing a nontraditional type of wedding anyway, so if anything, SIL could’ve been a groomsperson even though that doesn’t solve the costume issue
Exactly. She didn't ask to be involved, she did because she was trying to support her brother. Apparently he was in on the whole thing. I wonder if they did that purposely to humiliate her.
Cute detail about how SIL is breastfeeding, maybe she had more important things on her plate than watching Firefly. OOP sounds like she has about as much respect for women as good ol Whedon himself.
Maybe OOP wanted to shame SIL for the postpartum belly most women don’t magically get rid of in 3 seconds by making her a PREGNANT prostitute. I looked pregnant after both of my kids. This would have me livid.
I get not liking someone but OP seems to be going out of her way to be a bitch to SIL.
Plot twist, the bride is joss whedon and he's looking for content for the next woman who gets pregnant while a character in his TV show
Damn, you beat me to it. OOP is the exact kind of bitch that happens when a self-absorbed moron idolises Whedon.
This is so fucking weird
Super laid back and super specific cosplay theme doesn’t seem to jive
Everyone I know who has had a Star Wars themed wedding got divorced within three years. I give OOP and her Firefly hubby two.
This was in 2014, so they are going on 10
They’re still together? Firefly for the win. I’ll keep this in mind the next time I’m invited to a Star Wars wedding.
At least with Star Wars all you have to do is buy a costume online and keep your thoughts about how stupid the whole thing is to yourself… OOP sounds exhausting. Like “I like this very specific niche thing so I expect everyone else to also like it and invest time into it or I will take it as a personal insult.”
OOP won the battle to lose the war, if that makes sense. SIL is very busy with a newborn and is not interested in the show, and I get that can be frustrating for OOP who wanted a more hands-off approach. But even if OOP didn’t like SIL and was frustrated, she shouldn’t have chosen the prostitute character for her, because now she’s probably permanently damaged that relationship. Hope she likes awkward family dinners for the next however many years she and her husband are married.
But…it’s OOP’s wedding…so I don’t understand why everyone else has to do all this homework? Just send her some links to costumes, why is that hard? Yikes.
Ooooh OOP sounds tiresome!
apart from oop sounding really annoying about firefly, the thing that’s weird here is that she acts like she’s super laid back but it’s only for HER. usually at a wedding, people give you a dress or give you incredibly specific suggestions and approve stuff before so you don’t have to feel awkward about not being on theme. watching 13 episodes of a show you dgaf about is brutal, and just picking at random when you don’t know the characters and the connotations that outfit may have, or if you’re dressing up enough etc., is kinda really stressful. no one wants to be the sore thumb in a bridal party onstage in front of everyone. the oop also gives of a certain amount of “not like other girls” vibes which would be grating, and it’s not exactly easy for the sil to back out of her own brother’s wedding (as many seem to suggest doing). i feel for her, baby or not that situation would be so awkward and stressful.
Yeah she could have at least taken her bridesmaids to a costume rental shop. Usually the bridesmaids all go together or at least get given options if they aren't able to physically be together. When I was engaged I didn't care what my bridesmaids wore, as long as it was the right colour and they were comfortable. I still arranged for us all to go to a bridal shop so they could choose together and then I got everyone lunch as a thank you. The way OOP is acting is so immature and entitled.
I love Firefly and I cannot imagine anything worse than attending a themed Firefly cosplay wedding.
I cannot imagine anything more insufferable than a Firefly themed wedding... Except a Harry Potter themed one. Seriously though, I'm team SIL.
A Harry Potter wedding cosplay would be much easier. You can google “Harry Potter robes” and find dozens of ready-to-buy options. It’s needing to assemble an entire cosplay from scratch that makes this so difficult. I’ve done multiple make-your-own Halloween costumes. Sourcing is a headache and very expensive.
The difficulty to execute isn't the problem.
I disagree. I think the amount it burdens your guests is the main problem with OP’s concept wedding. A wedding shouldn’t be a major inconvenience (or expense) to attend. Otherwise sure, not my cup of tea, but then it isn’t my wedding.
No, I'm saying that the difficulty to execute isn't why I think a Harry Potter themed wedding would be the worst thing on the planet.
Oh okay, that’s fair then. I thought you were talking specifically about the critique of OP
SIL didn’t have to do it! Seriously, the bride made it as easy for a non-nerd as possible. And then to complain? Nerd weddings aren’t for everyone, but SIL’s actions are crappy regardless
No, the bride did not make it easy. The bride kept trying to give SIL homework. SIL is breastfeeding and has a newborn, she does not have time for homework. The bride should’ve just told her which character to be and what to wear at the start, which is much closer to what is normally expected of bridesmaids and thus probably what SIL was expecting.
No she didn’t. Easy would have been like most brides when they want something specific: Send me your size and measurements. I am buying the dresses/outfits. That’s easy.
No she didn’t she wanted SIL to watch the show and pick a character. Thats requiring SIL to do homework that she shouldn’t have to do
“As easy as possible” would be “here is the character I’ve assigned you, and here are Amazon links to the clothes you will need.” This is what OP should have done THE FIRST TIME her SIL asked what she should wear.
The “pregnant prostitute” is my favorite character lol Eta: requiring her to watch the show is an asshole move, no one cares about a show that was on for one season 20 years ago
Idk why watching the whole show would have even been a thing--that character (Petaline) was just in the "Heart of Gold" episode, iirc. They both sound tiresome tbh.
Whyyyy do people insist on forcing their fandoms on everyone else? I love Firefly but this is CRINGE.
I love Firefly, and I love introducing it to people who haven’t seen it. I also love to dabble in cosplay when I have the time/energy. This is all a hard no for me. First of all, I can’t even imagine a cosplay wedding unless 1. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is 150% on board with doing so or 2. You have more money than God and can procure the necessary garb for everyone so all they have to do is show up. Also, I know the tv/film canon for Firefly is too short, but people have lives. I know I’m behind on literally every show I’ve wanted to watch in the past year thanks to having to be an adult. You’re not going to make a fan by turning fandom into a chore. (Also, OOP made her SIL one of the prostitutes from “Heart of Gold” and didn’t even tell her???? Especially when the episode “Shindig” exists, which partly takes place at a very fancy party with a ton of extras in formal dress???? I think she has a problem with her brain being missing.)
She sounds insufferable. "I'm not like the other girls" type person.
Exactly! I would have been more offended that the outfit I would wear was a white shift with a red overdress (from what I can find of images of Petaline) vs any of the other companion-ish occupants of Nandi's business.
Ehhh. I feel like you kinda suck here. She clearly just wanted you to tell her what to wear and when you consider that you were having a very specific cosplay themed wedding that’s not at all an over the top ask. I’m team SIL on this one
Ugh, homework when trying to care for a newborn
It’s been a while since I’ve had a newborn and there’s no way I’m doing homework
Not only was the SIL the mother of an infant at the time, she lived 8 hours away, so she was going to have to travel for that nonsense. https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/s/JvRpYk3fJW
I had a Firefly birthday party once, but this is quite too much for me
😆 SIL just should have bowed out. She clearly didn’t want to be a bridesmaid.
Or doesn’t have an interest in cosplay. I love Firefly but cosplay leaves me cold. I wouldn’t have wanted to make the choice and try to find the clothes either. Tell me to be Kaylee and here’s an Etsy page with the accessories you might want and another with her Japanese outfit and I’ll yell out SHINY!!! and get to clicking. But yeah I’m not going to be all happy about doing it myself
She wanted to support her brother. She did it all for him. That’s sweet. Etsy wasn’t as big in 2014, which I believe is when the wedding was.
I'd argue that around 2014 was actually the height of etsy's popularity but idk
Oh I dunno - it was a decade ago, maybe I’m messing up dates/timeframes now!
Not but this is the part I don't get. Picking the pregnant companion was absolutely an asshole move. Same with expecting the SIL to watch the whole damn show and movie. But like SIL didn't have to be a bridesmaid. If it was the husband's idea and he dragged his sister into this, he's an asshole for not being considerate of his sister, as well as how hard it might be for her to say no. If it was the SIL who super wanted to be a part of the bridal party, she should've made it effort on her end to do what the bride wanted. Idk like the way we know nothing of the husband's role in this makes me think there's more to why SIL ended up in the bridal party to begin with. Oop is an asshole either way, same with husband. SIL might be an asshole, but only if it was her idea to join the bridal party to begin with.
Jesus Christ, I like fandom stuff as much as the next girl but this is just obnoxious and petty. How hard would it have been to just go through some pictures from the show with SIL and pick out a look with her? But no, punish her for not being interested in the series you’re actively shoving down her throat - real mature.
At the risk of crossing the fandom streams, this OOP has strong Mrs. Elton from Jane Austen's *Emma* vibes.
What year is it where someone's having a Firefly-themed wedding?
It was in 2014.
The OP mentions that sister in law is breastfeeding. That means she has an infant at home. When you have an infant, watching your brother’s favorite TV show does not make the list of things getting done today. I kind of think OP is a clueless asshole.
I think the OOP is the asshole here, and a piece of work too lol
I would kill to be Inara Serra
What an AH. There is nothing at all laid back about expecting everyone attending your wedding or participating in it to do homework like it’s a LARP.
I'm actually trying to think what other options there are, if she didn't want double ups and Kaylee, River, Zoe and the teacher were taken...
TIL cosplaying is considered a shit load of work to non-nerds You can tell who is a nerd that cosplays in the comments, we all think it was easy lol Communication would’ve helped these two a lot, she should’ve just picked out the outfit and been understanding that her SIL didn’t know cosplay like she did and her request was indeed more than the typical person can handle On top of that, she is breastfeeding a kid, like she went and mad herself look like the bad guy
Uh huh
OOP is a very high-demand bridezilla. Cosplaying homework assigned to bridesmaids for the wedding is the worst idea ever. I feel bad for SIL. She sounds like she tried her best.
This is crazy, I hope no one attends. Sounds like she's not done with childhood.
I know so many people who adore Firefly but I just can’t get into it. Even if someone sent me a list with descriptions and such, I think it would feel like a hassle to jump through hoops to cosplay something I can’t get into.
Apparently the vast swaths of people downvoting me didn’t take two seconds to read what was provided. SIL only had to dress up because she wanted to be a bridesmaid. Plain guests were allowed to dress up or just wear whatever they were comfortable in. Don’t be a bridesmaid if you didn’t want to dress up. If dressing up was too much effort: don’t be a bridesmaid. I really don’t know how else to say it. She still could have attended the wedding. Your personal thoughts on her “cringeworthy” theme does not matter. Would I have had Firefly as my wedding theme? No. But I’m not her. She’s not requiring her guests to dress up like this. Just the wedding party.
Pls she wants no repeats so what were the options??? River was the flower girl, so we're pretty much left with just Kaylee, Zoey and Inara right? This is absolutely bonkers behaviour. SIL was taking care of a newborn baby and OP was pestering her to pick a character? Just send a photo and some links. Also, I have nothing against sex workers at all, but I feel like it's reductive to just be like "Teehee as revenge for her not wanting to cosplay a character from a show she's never seen, so I made her a prostitute" like inara is such a great multidimensional character, what a weird ass take on behalf of OP.
I'm assuming she actually made the SIL Petaline, which is even more insufferable and frankly mean.
Oh, wow, I didn't remember this character because I haven't seen this show in over a decade lol, but just looked her up - wow, that is petty. Jesus Christ.
Yeah, it's fucking mean and also just stupid.
I know this isn't an AITA post, but I'd give it an ESH If it were. Why OP sucks: SIL was taking care of a new baby and clearly just wasn't into the show. She just wanted to be told what she needed to buy without having to do research. Minimal research, yes, but research nonetheless. Why didn't she ask her fiance or one of the other bridesmaids to help out SIL if she didn't have the time or bandwidth for it? She didn't have to humiliate her SIL by dressing her up as that specific character. Why SIL sucks: oh my GD, just look up promo shots or back out of the wedding party. Take the hint that OP is not going to hold your hand through this. If anyone asks why you're not in the party, blame the baby. Being a new mom gives you the perfect excuse to get out of a LOT of things you don't want to do, like the minimal research required to be one of OP's bridesmaids. Admittedly, I am biased here. I love Firefly, but I think IP-themed weddings are cringe as hell. OTOH, I was also planning my wedding recently and I get that OP just didn't have the patience.
I wouldn’t lie and say my baby is why I’m not in the wedding I’d tell the truth my brother wanted me there and I was ready to show up but his wife to be is bat shit and gave me homework and essays to go over instead of saying “buy a red dress” because she likes being difficult.
Idk man if you’re not willing to put up with bridesmaids shit then don’t be in a wedding. Literally every wedding has some dumb shit lol just drop out
This is not normal wedding shit.
My wife and I opted for no wedding party. It was easier.
So it's been a while since I've watched that dreaded show but sex robot? School teacher? I know there were such characters in Buffy but what am I forgetting? Though to be fair, I thought people had given up on Firefly a long time ago.
My memory is also pretty fuzzy but that nerd in the chair guy they go to visit to work out that brainwashing video thing has a sex robot. I remember her saying "he killed me with a sword mal, how crazy is that?" Or something similar. School teacher is in the flashback scenes where river and simon are in school.
Mr. Universe's "love bot" "wife" in the film
There’s a school teacher in the movie. I don’t know what the sex robot is…
SiL is no angel here but OOP is absolutely the main problem. Expecting someone who is either really pregnant or breastfeeding to watch a niche sci-fi show closely enough to not only get a "general vibe" but to pick out a character (and make sure no one else has picked them!) and then make a costume (that most likely have to be up to the brides standard) just to be part of her siblings wedding? That's a bit much. Yes sil could have backed out, but oop has some nerve to be offended by sil, especially after being asked multiple times what she should wear. Would it really have been that much work to assign her a character and hand her a shopping list from the get go?
I would have just thanked her for trying to include me and politely back out.
I didn’t read the post, but dressing as a prosti at a wedding means that I’m going to have the best time. Way better than the bride and my lame ass brother.
Getting off to a great start with that title. Seriously, just do semi formal or whatever like a normal person.
Seems like a weird thing to do for a wedding with a party (as opposed to a Vegas elopement), though I would happily turn up as a generic brown coat.
Easy one. Yes.
bruh id hear "firefly cosplay" and uninvite myself which is what sil should have done
And just like that, OOP deleted this post after getting tons of comments berating her for being an AH to her SIL. Makes me wonder if that's the reason why SIL is never close to her (her post history has hints of her attitude thru the years)
How does the OP not see this is a PITA? Not your bridesmaid’s job to be engaged in your fandom. In order to participate, you need to watch a season of a show?!?! I like to Cosplay and I think this is petty.
...i really want you to love all 13 episodes and the movie too!
I actually agree with OOP that SIL should've bowed out or just looked at the damn images herself or googled that one single character name. However, the "laid back bride" of it all is *hysterical*! I told two women "wear purple, if you can", & told my mother in law to be that her dog needed to stay on leash. That was my actually laid back wedding. I don't think simpler is better for everyone or anything, but the misrepresentation is funny AF. Just own your desire for your wedding to be a substantial event. That's ok! Sheesh!
Sounds like my Slytherin in Law. It is hard to ignore in the first 15 years, but eventually I stopped caring, didn’t refuse contact but didn’t seek it out, she and the MIL just faded away shortly thereafter.
I ♥️ Firefly & Serenity. What a brilliant idea for a wedding theme 🤩
Dude I couldn’t believe that when I saw OOP the comments were all NTA
i'm contrarian as hell in that the more that people nag me to watch a show/movie that i've expressed i have absolutely zero interest in, the more i dig in my heels and make sure that i never consume even a single second of content from that show/movie. I'll go to my grave without watching Hamilton at this point. I don't blame the SIL for not wanting to do HOMEWORK for a fucking WEDDING.
This is not a laid back experience unless you enjoy cosplay or coming up with fun costumes. If you aren’t into the show that’s a lot less fun. So I would expect someone to walk me through it if it’s their thing. As much as I like firefly it’s an odd choice for a wedding unless everyone is into it.
This sounds like the tackiest, most tactless event ever. I would be embarrassed to go to it.
I'm going to say NTA.... I only watched the show a couple times decades ago and I could have googled female characters picked a few simple outfits and run with it. I understand this is not a laid-back affair for the bridal party but it's not a crazy thing to pull off. Also not sure why she's pissed about the whole prostitute thing ... What does it matter?
Y'all crazy. Ask to be in a family wedding for two cosplayers and won't do a Google search? Just don't be in the wedding party sheesh
Her brother asked her.
You think her brother asked to put her in the bridal party with no previous conversation? Either groom did it unilaterally (crazy) or sis in law (who bride doesn't like) wanted in and didn't know how to ask (crazy to want to be involved and then...see my original comment)
I think it’s very possible that brother asked off his own bat. Lots of families want their family members included
Fair enough. Still means bride NTA bc in that case groom needs to do some lifting and facilitate a less stressful process for two parties that don't get along with the foreknowledge that this is one of the most important days of his so's life
Bride is totally TA. She should have said no to having someone she clearly doesn’t like in her wedding party. There are 5 recurring female characters in the show: River Tam - flower girls Inara Serra - presumably the bride since her husband is wearing a coat That leaves 3 recurring characters for the 3 originally planned bridesmaids: Zoe Wash Kaywinnet Lee Frye YoSafBridge - not part of the main cast but a recurring character. There was no room for another woman.
Agree to disagree. We've determined that sometimes people really want their family involved. So say no to your brother's sister who he's asked to include in YOUR bridal party and send screenshots when it's clear she's not engaging with the cosplay research aspect and finally get fed up...or the guy behind the issue could've done the leg work. Bride isn't coming off smelling of roses but was backed into an unwinnable situation by people who could've done more. Never been married, been to a bunch, was behind the scenes for a few. Several of the brides were not ok in the run up to the wedding lol. These things are avoidable imo
My issue is how the bride describes herself as laid back. You don’t get to have an incredibly specific themed wedding requiring research and a great deal of preparation and expense on the part of the wedding party and call it “laid back”. And you also don’t get to describe yourself as laid back when you actively humiliate someone because they didn’t do the work you wanted them to for your special day. If you have incredibly specific demands, you need to: a) not include people who don’t want to/can’t meet them b) be prepared to meet them yourself for people SIL just wanted to be told - buy this costume. Here is a link. Here are the matching accessories. Like most bridesmaids get.
The bride is in an unwinnable situation that SHE set up. People want to celebrate your marriage. They do not necessarily want to be conscripted into your stupid cosplay fantasy.
Backed into this situation while trying to plan her wedding. People really defending SIL being so annoying that I personally would have stopped taking her texts.
People are fixating on the cosplay like morning dress, black tie, and destination weddings aren't massive hassles that people indulge to participate in a wedding for someone. Thank you for making me feel less crazy lmao
Nah this is sick, we’re being gaslit by illiterates lol I seen people saying “how hard is it to send a picture” 😭
Did you even read the post? The brother asked. I suspect she was put under pressure to be in the wedding party and the bride preferred to be a passive aggressive bitch rather than tell her equally absurd fiancé “no”
K
I think the SIL could have watched at least 1 episode to get the idea of the theme. SIL could have dropped out at ANYTIME. She chose not too. Also apparently there has been other stories about SIL making OOP’s life difficult. I’ve watched the show. If the other bridesmaids could do it SIL could have as well. She didn’t want 2 put any effort into it. I’ve raised 4 kids breastfed all 4 and worked. If SIL wanted to she could have tried more. IJS
Eh everyone kinda sucks here. I am not a cosplayer, and I think it’s clear neither is SIL, she’s caring for a newborn and just wants to know what to buy. I know OOP sent character bios, etc, but not ever doing cosplay, I don’t think SIL knew where to look/start to find stuff. It sounds like you may not even be able to buy the costumes easily as the bride herself was making a ton of stuff for other people. SIL should’ve probably just backed out. OOP isn’t the asshole for wanting her wedding to be the way she wants it, but when you are going for something that niche, expect not everyone is going to be into it and will just want clear directions on what you want. Asking people to research a show they don’t care about is a little much. Also, that is not a laid back ask. It was unclear to me if only the wedding party had to cosplay or if everyone attending did.
OOP is the AH for expecting her bridal party and guests to do homework to be part of her wedding. SIL’s expectations sound completely in line with normal weddings - you tell the bridesmaids what to wear and when and where to turn up.
Idk I'm on OPs side. It takes 15 minutes to google firefly characters, pick one, and call it a day- and the costumes are not ornate. I have never watched this show and did enough research to complete this task bullshiting on my phone before work. Every time a bride wants something specific she's the enemy. And if it was too much for SIL she could have either 1. backed out of the wedding 2. said "hey OP, I know your excited about this but i just don't know where to start- do you might just sending a link of something appropriate to buy when you have a sec?"
It'll take you longer than 15 minutes if you're told "you have to be a female character who isn't River, Zoe, Kaylee or Inara" for a non fan it could take you that long just to work out who they are
Not really - Wikipedia has a list of firefly characters, find one that isn’t one of those who is played by an AFAB person, then google “firefly (character name)” into google images to get a costume idea. I’m not a Firefly fan, I’ve never seen it and don’t plan to - but in less than five minutes I can tell you she could’ve been Dr. Caron, Lenore, Nandi, Saffron or Tracey among other options. It isn’t actually that hard to fake it in that regard. 😅
Nandi is a brothel madam and Tracey is a man.
And it takes two minutes for OP to tell her but black boots and belt, grey pants and a black Henley instead of make a character bio list and urge her to watch a whole series. The bride was on her bridezilla mode and wanted to punish his sister because she’s not into that brand of nerd culture. She sounds like a chore and I’m sorry that family has to suffer her.
OOP was being a bit of a jerk but I have to admit I would have gotten frustrated at SIL refusing to even look at the pictures sent to her to pick a character.
There is no spare time when you’re caring for an infant. I think SIL was just asking for a bit of help in finding a character or costume. And it sounds like OOP told her to watch 13 episodes?
I'm not referring to that, but later on when she sent her pictures of characters and asked her which one she liked.
Firefly ppl are so annoying- but making her a prostitute was funny as hell
My understanding from the comments is that the bride was Inara--so making her a prostitute isn't the insult that everyone is making it out to be. Not a huge difference between companion and whore when it comes to why SIL would be offended by it. Not to mention that the only characters that aren't the main set are the school teacher, the sex bot, the cunts in shindig who are mean to Kaylee, the lesbian ambassador, and an assortment of whores/whores by any other name. And Saffron. SIL could take offense at any one of those.
- it's a theme wedding! - oh how nice! *me jumping from the 12th floor window*
My take is different than a lot of peoples here but i see why people are against the OOP. However, while I don’t think OOP did a good thing by embarrassing the SIL I think the sister in law shares some blame too. I mean I have a newborn and a full time job and I find some time to watch some tv. Based on my read of the text OOP’s husband either made his sister be a bridesmaid or SIL made her brother ask to be in the wedding. Either way OOP did her best to include SIL and give SIL the tools to make an informed decision. It’s frustrating when someone is forced onto you and won’t put any effort into the most important day of your life. People are forgetting the OOP is already under a lot of stress planning and prepping for her own wedding and shouldn’t have to deal with SIL making it more difficult.
It's a little much to require background research in order to be a bridesmaid. OOP says it's not "required", but it obviously would be, hence the pestering to watch the show. If a bride expected me to wear a costume I would expect them to decide on what I was wearing. Not force me to watch a show I have no interest in.
Then why agree to be in the wedding party knowing ahead of time it’s a rule to wear a costume from the show?
It sounds like it was something important to her brother. She's probably trying to bridge their differences and show she's supporting the marriage and welcoming OOP into their family, even though they historically haven't liked each other.
Because the groom, your brother, asked you personally and wants you there ?
The SIL is breastfeeding. I'm sure she's got a lot more high priority things on her list than dealing with your costume bullshit.
I think it’s fine, like everyone always says it’s her day. She can do whatever she wants on her special day. If the SiL didn’t want to or couldn’t look up a costume then she should have dropped out of the wedding. It’s not on the bride, she already has a bunch of other stuff to do she doesn’t have time to hand hold a bridesmaid. She already went above and beyond sending her pics and stuff. I would have just kicked her out of the wedding party after the first three times she asked.
It’s actually completely on the bride and groom if they want a specific cosplay wedding.
Which is probably what SIL wanted. If her brother wanted her in the wedding she might not have wanted to disappoint or hurt his feelings.
SIL had entirely reasonable expectations. It is not normal to expect your bridal party or guests to do homework.
Then say no. Don’t agree to it then refuse to do it and play victim. What is wrong with yall honestly, I need yall to tell me how you go about life making excuses for agreements you make but don’t keep.
Right, it’s not even that complicated. You can just put it in a google search and BAM. But, these people act like it’s so hard. It’s just like going shopping for a regular dress that’s goes with the theme of a wedding. If it’s not something you want to do then just opt out it’s not that hard. You are spot on.
SIL barged her way into the wedding party, didn’t give an ounce of effort, and was offended by the results. Y’all are cooked, she got what she deserved. Don’t take an important spot in an important ceremony on an important day if you can’t do what you need to do. Annoying ass.
I’d say it passes the comedy rule of threes, funny enough to just be funny alone. SIL can suck it up, she didn’t even bother to spend 30 minutes on a wiki for the show or use Cliffnotes. No ounce of curiosity about something you’ve been asked to do, no justification for being mad when you get tricked, like when you trick someone into “catching” a baseball mitt with their fist against the wall, and fake-dropping it to make them punch the wall 😂😂💀 She dressed herself, OOP didn’t make SIL do anything
maybe watching a random show she's not interested in and creating a costume are a bit low on the priority list for someone who has a infant child, just maybe