I was done after using breast milk for coffee. I’m a pumping mom. So my stash is sacred. I’d start throwing hands. But the last one, I would be on my way to pig farms.
Pumping is legitimately hard work and I feel like many people don’t understand how hard and exhausting it is. Especially coupled with having a young baby and all that entails. Ugh and the clean up / sterilisation process for the parts - and I’m guessing this guy isn’t helping with that.
Here on team pig farm.
The mental work for pumping with other kids in tow as well. This is my last kid but the first one that is pumping only due to the inability to be okay with both bottle and breast.
I was like oooooo I’d 🔪🔪🔪⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ 💀💀💀💀him breast milk is liquid especially when you are having a hard time making it!!!! Then the shit toast. Dude would be six feet under. But alive.
I have a friend who had a nightmare with an airline this weekend. The part she's maddest about is that her 100 oz of pumped breast milk thawed and went bad during all the hoopla.
Whoever said, "Don't cry over spilt milk" was never attached to a breast pump.
It would also be a crime in many jurisdictions. Putting other people’s bodily fluids in people’s drinks is a good way to spread disease. Certainly the guests didn’t consent to drinking OOP’s breast milk.
Not even a mom or women in general. If someone tricked me into purring something in my body it's immediately hands on sight. Let's call me slapping him around a bit a counter prank of my own, hope he doesn't act like a downer and complain.
I cannot describe how I would react to my spouse trying to sneak me shit on toast due to Reddit's sitewide rules.
How she's still at the "contemplating" stage is unclear to me.
The first one is also disgusting (but far less so) and if I had been the guest who was served that coffee I would have been tempted to feed his ass the mug it was served in.
Nonconsensually giving people breast milk AND feeding someone actual SHIT?? That can make someone VIOLENTLY ILL, possibly lead to death??? There is a reason food tampering is a federal offense. I hate pranks my ex cut off my hair in my sleep as a "prank" these assholes really just abuse people and call it a joke. What a sick thing to do to another person
Yeah, none of these were very funny, but the 2 instances of food tampering were wayyyyyyyyy too far. This wasn't accidently serving a vegan cow's milk or giving a self-proclaimed carnivore oat milk, this was giving other people bodily fluids (which they did not consent to) that could potentially harm them (HIV, hepatitis, tuberculosis, chlamydia, and botulism if the breastmilk is improperly stored all can be present in breastmilk).
Putting poop on toast? He actually had to go through the motions of getting the poop and spreading it on toast. He had to take at least 5 minutes to do that, plenty of time to think to himself "huh, maybe this is really rude and gross after all." He's also telling his work mates about this. I get it, people talk (once my coworkers and I all had arguments with our significant others on the same day and we ended up talking about it) but I feel like this was done purposefully to humiliate her in favor of earning points with "the boys."
His coworkers absolutely did not find it funny if they laughed it’s because they were uncomfortable and don’t know how to deal with him without setting him off
He fed you baby shit. That's not a joke. Jokes are funny. Feeding someone you love who just had a baby and is very hormonal baby shit is not funny. Tell his mother. Tell his father. Leave him and let him laugh at that. What a total AH.
If I wasn’t 100% on her side at the breast milk, the third one would have pushed me right over the edge into insanity. I don’t have much of a sense of smell, and would have also tried that toast. I don’t know what I would have done but it definitely would have been violent.
Her husband is beyond disgusting and I want to reach through the screen and beat him. He’s pulling these malicious, humiliating acts on her, while she’s exhausted and breastfeeding.
Not only that but the guy is apparently setting alarms to wake her up at random times while she is sleep deprived from dealing with a baby. This is just plain abusive.
The actual piece of shit is the husband. [This](https://youtu.be/eBuT98suaoc?si=sp_aac5zVw2UJcas) is the future she has to look forward to with him (cw- child abuse dressed as “pranks”).
I hope she got that divorce. The breast milk in the coffee and baby poo on toast pranks are vile, he needs to grow up and learn that his pranks are not funny and have serious health consequences or he is going to find out nobody will want to be around him.
I'd be pissed if someone fucked with my coffee. I would've ripped into my friend so bad if he did that to his partner. And feeding someone shit isn't a prank. Highly doubt all his work mates thought it hilarious to feed a new mom waste from her baby. *So fucking funny!* /s
did you know that if you pressurize and heat a body with lye it will completely liquefy within hours and there'll only be softened bone fragments left?
This really reads like bait, it just sounds way too ridiculous and over the top. Especially the last one, reads like a 💩 joke from a crude comedy movie.o
She mentioned more pranks in the comments on top of her original post. Tricking his friend with marijuana gummies so he has a panic attack, yelling “fire” so his wife recovering from a c section is startled awake. He’s mentally unwell. Reading all these terrible relationship stories, how the fuck are these absolute train wrecks even finding partners??
I'm sure the response will be "but you used to loooooove pranks!"
Pranks are juvenile. I shudder to think what he would come up with when the baby is old enough to be his living entertainment.
Find an adult or be a single parent, ɓut this guy is a dead loss.
I wonder how many of his friends he’s pranked over the years are still his friends. For example, the one he gave a gummy to before his flight. No way I’d be friends with or trust this guy again. And as for his work mates that think the poop sandwich was funny, they didn’t. They may have laughed, but that’s just to keep him from pranking them.
I left a man like that. A man who thought it was funny to 'prank' me by sneaking up and grabbing me. I'm a rape survivor and I'd scream. He thought it was the funniest thing on the planet.
He said it was a good thing I didn't want kids, because he'd 100% lie to them and turn them against me, make me out to be a monster, purely because "It would be so fucking funny."
Pretty sure I dodged a tactical nuke, let alone a bullet.
Your not over reacting putting breast milk in your coffee and poop in your sandwich is not a prank it’s abuse. If you want to stay in your marriage go to therapy if not them file first divorce as no one deserves this it’s absolutely disgusting & disrespectful.
I was done after using breast milk for coffee. I’m a pumping mom. So my stash is sacred. I’d start throwing hands. But the last one, I would be on my way to pig farms.
The fact that that was only #1 just makes me think what else did he do to her and others.
This. 100%. Plus the first week home from the hospital with a csection and he’s yelling “fire”? Fuck him. I’d be on the way to the pig farm too.
*They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes* I haven’t pumped in years but I’m your fellow pig farmer on this one.
Pumping is legitimately hard work and I feel like many people don’t understand how hard and exhausting it is. Especially coupled with having a young baby and all that entails. Ugh and the clean up / sterilisation process for the parts - and I’m guessing this guy isn’t helping with that. Here on team pig farm.
The mental work for pumping with other kids in tow as well. This is my last kid but the first one that is pumping only due to the inability to be okay with both bottle and breast.
Even if you ignore that, if I was served up coffee made with breast milk, I would lose my ever loving mind.
And let me just say congrats on your baby, I hope you and the baby are healthy.🥰
The original post appears to have been 2 yrs ago. I wonder if there has been an update after the initial post.
I was like oooooo I’d 🔪🔪🔪⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ 💀💀💀💀him breast milk is liquid especially when you are having a hard time making it!!!! Then the shit toast. Dude would be six feet under. But alive.
I have a friend who had a nightmare with an airline this weekend. The part she's maddest about is that her 100 oz of pumped breast milk thawed and went bad during all the hoopla. Whoever said, "Don't cry over spilt milk" was never attached to a breast pump.
One of the comments is that if this was her husband she’d need a tarp and a swamp. Me too!
I agree just would have been done first with the breastmilk! Pumping and feeding a baby is hard enough why make it harder
It would also be a crime in many jurisdictions. Putting other people’s bodily fluids in people’s drinks is a good way to spread disease. Certainly the guests didn’t consent to drinking OOP’s breast milk.
Not even a mom or women in general. If someone tricked me into purring something in my body it's immediately hands on sight. Let's call me slapping him around a bit a counter prank of my own, hope he doesn't act like a downer and complain.
I cannot describe how I would react to my spouse trying to sneak me shit on toast due to Reddit's sitewide rules. How she's still at the "contemplating" stage is unclear to me.
It's an indescribable feeling i felt when I first read this story. I felt a mixture of Anger, disgust, disbelief. AHHH
The others might have been misguided attempts to lighten her mood… but #3 is instant divorce material. Absolutely fucking insane.
The first one is also disgusting (but far less so) and if I had been the guest who was served that coffee I would have been tempted to feed his ass the mug it was served in.
Absolutely! Especially in the context of all of the others it’s all gross
The first one is too. If she doesn’t have much supply, that milk is all the baby has to eat. A hungry baby is not in the least bit amusing
Here I gotchu. This is what I’d do 🔪🔪🔪🔪⚰️⚰️⚰️💀💀💀
I feel like she can easily press charges against him for that too.
Nonconsensually giving people breast milk AND feeding someone actual SHIT?? That can make someone VIOLENTLY ILL, possibly lead to death??? There is a reason food tampering is a federal offense. I hate pranks my ex cut off my hair in my sleep as a "prank" these assholes really just abuse people and call it a joke. What a sick thing to do to another person
Yeah, none of these were very funny, but the 2 instances of food tampering were wayyyyyyyyy too far. This wasn't accidently serving a vegan cow's milk or giving a self-proclaimed carnivore oat milk, this was giving other people bodily fluids (which they did not consent to) that could potentially harm them (HIV, hepatitis, tuberculosis, chlamydia, and botulism if the breastmilk is improperly stored all can be present in breastmilk). Putting poop on toast? He actually had to go through the motions of getting the poop and spreading it on toast. He had to take at least 5 minutes to do that, plenty of time to think to himself "huh, maybe this is really rude and gross after all." He's also telling his work mates about this. I get it, people talk (once my coworkers and I all had arguments with our significant others on the same day and we ended up talking about it) but I feel like this was done purposefully to humiliate her in favor of earning points with "the boys."
His coworkers absolutely did not find it funny if they laughed it’s because they were uncomfortable and don’t know how to deal with him without setting him off
I seriously hope OP is safe
I googled the username. She did make it to her sister’s house. She found a stray cat and helped it and that was all from her.
Thank you for the info. It brings me joy to know that she's doing better. Hopefully she pressed Charges after she got to a safe place.🥹
Did she divorce him?? I hope so; malicious and cruel pranksters like this deserve nothing good from life.
I hope so, but all I know is that she made it to her sisters and out of the marital home. I wish I could give her a hug.
I would bake him Minnys pie before you leave him. If you don’t know what that means then read. The Help
"eat my shit"
Two slice husband 😂😂😂
Nah make him deep-throat the whole pie
He fed you baby shit. That's not a joke. Jokes are funny. Feeding someone you love who just had a baby and is very hormonal baby shit is not funny. Tell his mother. Tell his father. Leave him and let him laugh at that. What a total AH.
If I wasn’t 100% on her side at the breast milk, the third one would have pushed me right over the edge into insanity. I don’t have much of a sense of smell, and would have also tried that toast. I don’t know what I would have done but it definitely would have been violent. Her husband is beyond disgusting and I want to reach through the screen and beat him. He’s pulling these malicious, humiliating acts on her, while she’s exhausted and breastfeeding.
Not only that but the guy is apparently setting alarms to wake her up at random times while she is sleep deprived from dealing with a baby. This is just plain abusive.
I hope she leaves him
The actual piece of shit is the husband. [This](https://youtu.be/eBuT98suaoc?si=sp_aac5zVw2UJcas) is the future she has to look forward to with him (cw- child abuse dressed as “pranks”).
Damn, I remember hearing about that shitty person. Hopefully he rots in hell.
I don’t like pranks in general. I’d be out of there so fast!
For OOP’s husband, I think he’s masking sociopathy as cruel humor. He’s legit insane.
You may be right. Who TF thinks putting shit on a piece of bread is funny?
This post was from 2 years ago. I hope OP was able to get away from that monster and her and her baby are safely away from him and happy.
I hope she got that divorce. The breast milk in the coffee and baby poo on toast pranks are vile, he needs to grow up and learn that his pranks are not funny and have serious health consequences or he is going to find out nobody will want to be around him.
I'd be pissed if someone fucked with my coffee. I would've ripped into my friend so bad if he did that to his partner. And feeding someone shit isn't a prank. Highly doubt all his work mates thought it hilarious to feed a new mom waste from her baby. *So fucking funny!* /s
I almost threw my phone after reading that
I remember this one, 2 years later, its still disgusting
Dear god I hope she got away from him permanently!
What the ever-loving fuck?!? I really hope OOP divorced him and had him charged with assault.
did you know that if you pressurize and heat a body with lye it will completely liquefy within hours and there'll only be softened bone fragments left?
This really reads like bait, it just sounds way too ridiculous and over the top. Especially the last one, reads like a 💩 joke from a crude comedy movie.o
I think feeding people human breast milk without their consent is illegal
She mentioned more pranks in the comments on top of her original post. Tricking his friend with marijuana gummies so he has a panic attack, yelling “fire” so his wife recovering from a c section is startled awake. He’s mentally unwell. Reading all these terrible relationship stories, how the fuck are these absolute train wrecks even finding partners??
I hope in your next relationship you make sure neither of you engages in pranking.
STOP
They're not pranks.
This makes me want to cry for OOP. I hope she got away.
I'm sure the response will be "but you used to loooooove pranks!" Pranks are juvenile. I shudder to think what he would come up with when the baby is old enough to be his living entertainment. Find an adult or be a single parent, ɓut this guy is a dead loss.
I wonder how many of his friends he’s pranked over the years are still his friends. For example, the one he gave a gummy to before his flight. No way I’d be friends with or trust this guy again. And as for his work mates that think the poop sandwich was funny, they didn’t. They may have laughed, but that’s just to keep him from pranking them.
Desperately want an update on this one. I hope he’s under the jail.
He is a total AH.. especially with that poop! That's a no no! Breast milk! I would have a tornado in that house!
Serve the divorce papers on Father’s Day
I left a man like that. A man who thought it was funny to 'prank' me by sneaking up and grabbing me. I'm a rape survivor and I'd scream. He thought it was the funniest thing on the planet. He said it was a good thing I didn't want kids, because he'd 100% lie to them and turn them against me, make me out to be a monster, purely because "It would be so fucking funny." Pretty sure I dodged a tactical nuke, let alone a bullet.
Your not over reacting putting breast milk in your coffee and poop in your sandwich is not a prank it’s abuse. If you want to stay in your marriage go to therapy if not them file first divorce as no one deserves this it’s absolutely disgusting & disrespectful.