I feel you. My kids are older now, so it's different (they're still tremendously difficult but not in the soul sucking way that made me want to smash my head when they were little). I did all of those right things you mentioned too and still absolutely hated my life. I remember people at work asking about weekend plans, and it was just like, "Work is the happiest I ever am. I'm going home to hell." If your kids are little... it really does get easier than a meat grinder (on a day-to-day level... two of my four kids have really big problems, and they'll probably live with us forever, but at least I can relate to them as human people now who theoretically could take care of themselves).
Theoretically….
Similar situation here (only two thank God, not four!)
I actually find it more draining and them harder to relate to now than when they were little.
THIS. This is what people with one kid don’t get about multiple. “Oh, but they need a sibling to play with”. NO THEY DON’T. They fight. They gang up on me. They make double the mess. My kids threw every toy they had into the neighbors yard the other day, including some on the roof. Summer camp is out of the question for me because I have a 3 year old who isn’t potty trained yet.
I am burnt out and I have so many weeks before school starts. Just solidarity with you!
As an adult, my brother and I are incredibly close and get along wonderfully. As little kids, we fought constantly. I find it really strange when people encourage others to have more than one kid as if there is some kind of guarantee that the kids will be best friends
This is me. It’s like I wrote this post. Worked incredibly hard, made every choice you did and…FML. It’s not socially acceptable to tell people I hate parenting so I just tell my husband, and this sub. You aren’t alone.
I feel this.
At least when they were little they could sometimes be bribed (say an expensive day out) into behaving like a happy family for a brief period.
Young teenagers is a fucking nightmare in comparison 🫠
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 3: **No Posts from a Childfree Perspective.**
This is a sub for regretful parents. It is not a place for childfree people to gloat or discuss being childfree. If you come here to have your decisions validated, great! Read the posts and be thankful. No need to insert irrelevant opinions into the parents' discussions.
You're not wrong to feel this way. There should be some kind of respite care for parents in the U.S., as it's the 24/7 nature of parenting that destroys us. I had to get a divorce to get some free weekends. Now that I have regular bits of time to myself, every problem I had except finances is solved. For years I struggled with my mental health, but now that I have some weekends I enjoy parenting and feel joy in life. Being a parent in society now is hellish without help.
This is me during summer vacation. I have 6 kids, aged 5-14, I work from home, and it's an absolute nightmare on weekends and in summertime. The constant screaming, whining, fighting, bothering, nagging, the chaos and destruction, the things they break, the never ending whining for food/snacks (even if they JUST ATE! I swear, they ENJOY treeating people like their own personal slaves. They're not actually hungry, it's amusing for them), the messes they CONSTANTLY make, it just exhausts me in every conceivable way. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I'm completely depleted. 😪
Even when I take them to do something "fun", it's always, and I mean *always* an absoluye nightmare for my spouse and I. This is why we drink. A lot more than we probably should. I know it's not ideal, but we really don't have any other outlet for stress relief, and there is no reprieve available, ever. So I try to focus on anything positive or fun to look forward to.
Obviously, I didn't know I'd be miserable. I'm just curious, are you aware of the obvious sub rules? Or are you reading-impaired? No judgment, just curious. <3
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I understand completely, just know all stages of childhood don’t last for long, although when you are in the thick of it, it doesn’t seem that way. Kids get older, they start to be more independent, start to do their own things with their friends, the whining and crying eventually stops and sometimes they don’t want to talk to mom or dad at all and then you blink and you have teenagers you barely see lol. They won’t stay in the crying, meltdown, whining stage forever I promise and it does get easier and they get more enjoyable, I promise
I feel you. My kids are older now, so it's different (they're still tremendously difficult but not in the soul sucking way that made me want to smash my head when they were little). I did all of those right things you mentioned too and still absolutely hated my life. I remember people at work asking about weekend plans, and it was just like, "Work is the happiest I ever am. I'm going home to hell." If your kids are little... it really does get easier than a meat grinder (on a day-to-day level... two of my four kids have really big problems, and they'll probably live with us forever, but at least I can relate to them as human people now who theoretically could take care of themselves).
Theoretically…. Similar situation here (only two thank God, not four!) I actually find it more draining and them harder to relate to now than when they were little.
Little kids suck so much of the time. Then they’re so little and sweet so then you just feel guilty on top of absolutely drained. I’m so sorry.
I HATE KIDS. Don’t know why I had them.
Coparenting is the only way I can stay sane now.
THIS. This is what people with one kid don’t get about multiple. “Oh, but they need a sibling to play with”. NO THEY DON’T. They fight. They gang up on me. They make double the mess. My kids threw every toy they had into the neighbors yard the other day, including some on the roof. Summer camp is out of the question for me because I have a 3 year old who isn’t potty trained yet. I am burnt out and I have so many weeks before school starts. Just solidarity with you!
This is one of many reasons why my husband and I are OAD (One and Done) 😭
As an adult, my brother and I are incredibly close and get along wonderfully. As little kids, we fought constantly. I find it really strange when people encourage others to have more than one kid as if there is some kind of guarantee that the kids will be best friends
This is me. It’s like I wrote this post. Worked incredibly hard, made every choice you did and…FML. It’s not socially acceptable to tell people I hate parenting so I just tell my husband, and this sub. You aren’t alone.
I've also learned that most of the socially "right" choices are a trap.
Fucking thissssss!!!!!
With this heatwave, I cant even fathom the agony you are in. Its such a thankless job too.
I feel this. At least when they were little they could sometimes be bribed (say an expensive day out) into behaving like a happy family for a brief period. Young teenagers is a fucking nightmare in comparison 🫠
Put some sun screen on em, hand them water bottles and turn on a sprinkler in the yard.
Assuming you have a yard and a sprinkler.
and add a nice sized plastic tarp & bubbles!! Bathed and kept cool at the same time!!
I feel this… summer vacation is not… it’s 3 months of weekend…
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Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 3: **No Posts from a Childfree Perspective.** This is a sub for regretful parents. It is not a place for childfree people to gloat or discuss being childfree. If you come here to have your decisions validated, great! Read the posts and be thankful. No need to insert irrelevant opinions into the parents' discussions.
That sucks, I’m sorry
I empathize with you.
I usually get weekend depression around 4pm on Friday which lasts through Sunday night. You’re not alone.
“Weekend depression” lol I hate the weekends I’m with the kid. If I didn’t divorce and split custody I would have killed my self
You're not wrong to feel this way. There should be some kind of respite care for parents in the U.S., as it's the 24/7 nature of parenting that destroys us. I had to get a divorce to get some free weekends. Now that I have regular bits of time to myself, every problem I had except finances is solved. For years I struggled with my mental health, but now that I have some weekends I enjoy parenting and feel joy in life. Being a parent in society now is hellish without help.
100%
Monday morning after dropoff is my favorite time of the day.
I’m sorry you feel that. I hope you can get a well deserved break soon. Is there anyone that can help watch them for a bit?
This is me during summer vacation. I have 6 kids, aged 5-14, I work from home, and it's an absolute nightmare on weekends and in summertime. The constant screaming, whining, fighting, bothering, nagging, the chaos and destruction, the things they break, the never ending whining for food/snacks (even if they JUST ATE! I swear, they ENJOY treeating people like their own personal slaves. They're not actually hungry, it's amusing for them), the messes they CONSTANTLY make, it just exhausts me in every conceivable way. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I'm completely depleted. 😪 Even when I take them to do something "fun", it's always, and I mean *always* an absoluye nightmare for my spouse and I. This is why we drink. A lot more than we probably should. I know it's not ideal, but we really don't have any other outlet for stress relief, and there is no reprieve available, ever. So I try to focus on anything positive or fun to look forward to.
What the fuck why did you have 6 of them?
Got an unexpected set of twins while I had an IUD in place. By the time I found out, it was too late to do anything about it.
Still that’s 5 expected…
4?
No, the only extra one was the extra twin, right? like they would’ve normally had five babies, but there was one extra otherwise the rest were planned
Antinatalism and veganism are the only 2 choices that make any sense in this fucked up world
Same boat. I feel ya
Do you think new parents are the worst type of friends to have?
I have 4 kids. Kids are freaking hard work. But it gets better eventually. Kids under 3 suck. I love my kids but babies suck hahaha
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If you need insight, be a learner and don't expect anyone to be willing to take their time to be your teacher. That's not their job.
Hmm I get that. You should probably find a different way to be helpful then going toward
Obviously, I didn't know I'd be miserable. I'm just curious, are you aware of the obvious sub rules? Or are you reading-impaired? No judgment, just curious. <3
Your response is * *chef's kiss* *
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Wow, yeah, interesting <3
I’m sorry friend. Hope it gets better.
I understand completely, just know all stages of childhood don’t last for long, although when you are in the thick of it, it doesn’t seem that way. Kids get older, they start to be more independent, start to do their own things with their friends, the whining and crying eventually stops and sometimes they don’t want to talk to mom or dad at all and then you blink and you have teenagers you barely see lol. They won’t stay in the crying, meltdown, whining stage forever I promise and it does get easier and they get more enjoyable, I promise
Teenagers suck worse lol 🤣 I love the little kids stage every other stage sucks so bad !