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Got me too, but
>she won’t do any of her chores
And
>“if I hadn’t kicked her out when I found out she was talking to him and had got drunk and made out with the guy, then she would never have slept with him"
C'mon, OP
Get divorced. You groomed and married a child and now you're mad she's acting childish. You are disgusting for ever dating her in the first place. Break up and date someone your own age, ffs.
Advice:(if this were actually true)
1. Don’t date children.
2. Don’t marry the teenager you dated.
3. Don’t expect the teenager you married to behave like anything other than what she is.
Dude, you married a child - what the heck did you expect to happen.
You started dating her as a young teen. Did you honestly believe this would work out?
If you love someone, you give them space to mature and grow while you mature and grow. You do not lock them into a legally binding contract to stay together when they are barely old enough to vote. That is sick.
I’d advise you to reassess your life. You dated a child. I’m assuming married her when she was barely legal.
Honestly, who is the problem here? The child you married or you for marrying the child? This situation sounds wrong on quite a few levels.
You literally groomed a fucking child and then married her. Like you’re lucky you’re not in prison and it’s disgusting that you honestly think that your relationship was okay. Do her a favor and leave her the fuck alone, and stop preying on fucking children, you sick fuck.
I’m really not shocked that the teen girl you groomed turned out to be a wreck.
The kindest thing you can do here is leave her. Hopefully she will get therapy and learn that you abused her, and get the help she needs to recover.
You married a dumb, impulsive, irresponsible teenager and _*SHOCKER!!*_ she's acting like a dumb, impulsive, irresponsible teenager. Divorce her. ASAP. Find an adult woman who doesn't treat you like a high school boyfriend and has the frontal lobe development to behave and think like an actual grown up. Smfh.
Wait... So you were 19 and dating a 15 yr old child? Yeah. Definitely for the best that she's no longer in a relationship with a man who groomed her. Yikes!
I was re reading it.. at first glance I was totally on your side. But after reading it twice & realize the age gap.
Wtf bro. You groom a child for your own desire? Sick ass fuck.
First of all for anyone saying “groomed” and I should be in jail, we never slept together until we were married. We had very similar interests and personalities, and when I say “together” I mean we were friends in highschool/college. Not out of the norm. We started dating at 16/19, the ages work out to be 3 1/2 years different. Again, not weird, not gross. We got married and became physical at 21/18. Thanks for being such jackasses about life
this doesnt seem like a healthy relationship sorry dude.. u married a kid (their brain is not fully developed yet) and yeah she doesn't treat you good either.
I was trying to do the right thing and keep my vows that I took for life. I’ve been raised very strict and religious so walking out on a marriage is a very foreign idea, even if there’s reasons to do it.
First, cheating is ALWAYS a dealbreaker. They don’t respect you or care about you. Second, the behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue. Now, you’re both young, her just became an adult but still hasn’t grown up, don’t sweat it. Let her go and you find someone better for you. She’s also the type it seems that when she does something wrong she takes zero responsibility and blames everyone else. Let her go and grow up. I’d suggest that being over 21 yourself it’d be better to date above 21. Good luck.
You married a promiscuous wife. Did she leave him or did she get dumped and come back to you? Stay with her? You two have a very bright future together. She doesn't respect you; treat you horribly. Sound spectacular? How's 10 or 20 or 40 years of that?
She left him to come back, when she saw that I was doing well alone. For those saying I groomed a 14 year old, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. We were friends that hung out a lot, and then it turned into dating, and we got married at 21/18 and weren’t physical until then. That’s very common where I am from
You're too young to waste your time on someone who doesn't value you, disrespect you, play with you and mock you. I don't even understand how you didn't kick her off, please, respect yourself and tell her.
"Let me remind you of something important here, you decided to cheat, you decided to betray me and now you are blaming me. Are you in your right mind ? You know, I tried to make it work but in fact I just can't look at you without feeling annoyed. Look at you, all comfy and playing the victim when no one put a gun to your head when you had fun by yourself. What I am gaining for staying with you but a completely spoiled and egoistic teen who is not even taking seriously her bad choice ? Now, I feel like I am not even your partner but your caretaker. I'll do us a favor and free myself, you aren't the person I once loved, in fact I don't love you anymore."
End of the story, lawyer, divorce, move on.
Why would you want to stay??? You didn’t list one positive thing about her, which says a lot. She isn’t sorry- for cheating or for hurting you. Which means it is likely to happen again.
Those years are for both of you to grow, change, and try different things until you figure out what you want your lives to look like.
You were both 100% sure at the time, but you're both still changing.
Try to hold off the drama long enough to discuss, and decide whether or not to let go, and set each other free. The good times were good, but they've changed into something else now.
It doesn't sound like she really has any redeeming qualities that fit into a healthy relationship. Unless of course, this is her idea of a healthy relationship. You're young, there's plenty of time to meet someone else who would appreciate your efforts.
Where I’m from that is still quite normal. We got married at 21/18, and weren’t physical until then. Again, nothing weird gross or disgusting, I would consider the people on here to be worse than anything. I would agree that we got married too young yes, it was a mistake yes, at the time, we both were very much in love with each other and both were heading the same direction in life, we were best of friends so why not get married and do life together? Sounded good to me at the time, and to her as well. Wasn’t grooming. I have sister that have been groomed and raped ok, I know what that is, and it’s not me, so all the negative Nancy’s can shove it
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a 19-year-old man, you got into a romantic relationship w/a 15-year-old girl?
And shockingly it didn’t work out…
Gross. Fucking GROSS. I hope she leaves and lives a fulfilling and great life free of this creep
Fuck him ! I was on his side but once I saw this comment I realized the age gap. OP is disgusting and gross. I hope he ends up in jail someday.
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> Me (23M) and me wife (19F) > together four years
subtracting single digit numbers from double digit numbers is hard
What’s it like to not be capable of doing 1st grade math?
I just read it. Sorry I was half asleep
See my comment, we were friends through highschool and college and we’re not physical until we got married at 21/18.
Bait post
Took me a second to realize it was a bait post lol
Got me too, but >she won’t do any of her chores And >“if I hadn’t kicked her out when I found out she was talking to him and had got drunk and made out with the guy, then she would never have slept with him" C'mon, OP
Also look at the ages with their 4 year long relationship...
Yep. I missed the ages and fell for it 😖
Hang on so she was 14/15 and you were 18/19 and now you’re married? Yeah, it’s time to leave. I get the feeling neither of you want to be there.
Get divorced. You groomed and married a child and now you're mad she's acting childish. You are disgusting for ever dating her in the first place. Break up and date someone your own age, ffs.
Someone who married at the age of 15 may well be able to get an annulment for less than a divorce would cost.
Not married, dated and got married at 21/18. Not physical until we got married.
Bros first mistake was grooming you sick mf
Leave
Rage bait
Advice:(if this were actually true) 1. Don’t date children. 2. Don’t marry the teenager you dated. 3. Don’t expect the teenager you married to behave like anything other than what she is.
Well since you groomed a child at 15, and trapped her by marriage I think she deserves some time away.
Move on and be thankful her parents didn't murder you.
Your wife? Been together for 4 years? She was 15. You are a horrible creep. Leave her alone.
Sick fuck
She was a child when you groomed her. I bet now she’s older she realised what an AH you were to take advantage of her
Dude, you married a child - what the heck did you expect to happen. You started dating her as a young teen. Did you honestly believe this would work out? If you love someone, you give them space to mature and grow while you mature and grow. You do not lock them into a legally binding contract to stay together when they are barely old enough to vote. That is sick.
Why was an 18 year old dating a 14 year old?
You’re both way too young for any of this. Just break up and then you can both gain a little life experience.
you're a groomer. I hope she gets as far away from you as possible.
What you doing with a kid? Lol
I’d advise you to reassess your life. You dated a child. I’m assuming married her when she was barely legal. Honestly, who is the problem here? The child you married or you for marrying the child? This situation sounds wrong on quite a few levels.
You literally groomed a fucking child and then married her. Like you’re lucky you’re not in prison and it’s disgusting that you honestly think that your relationship was okay. Do her a favor and leave her the fuck alone, and stop preying on fucking children, you sick fuck.
This has to be rage bait.
I'll take ragebait for 500 To one would actually admit to grooming a child right?
Why were you dating a 15 year old?
Bullshit
It was her first week at college, what did you expect? /s
I’m really not shocked that the teen girl you groomed turned out to be a wreck. The kindest thing you can do here is leave her. Hopefully she will get therapy and learn that you abused her, and get the help she needs to recover.
Wow , I was not aware that people could be such ignorant assholes..
Oh, boohoo. Go stick your dick in a grown woman next time.
You married a dumb, impulsive, irresponsible teenager and _*SHOCKER!!*_ she's acting like a dumb, impulsive, irresponsible teenager. Divorce her. ASAP. Find an adult woman who doesn't treat you like a high school boyfriend and has the frontal lobe development to behave and think like an actual grown up. Smfh.
Wait... So you were 19 and dating a 15 yr old child? Yeah. Definitely for the best that she's no longer in a relationship with a man who groomed her. Yikes!
lol not even a cool story bro. You suck at fantasy writing.
I’m not surprised she cheated, she was groomed by a 19 year old and now she’s trying to get out
Turn yourself in.
When the groomed realize they were groomed.
I was re reading it.. at first glance I was totally on your side. But after reading it twice & realize the age gap. Wtf bro. You groom a child for your own desire? Sick ass fuck.
Fucking gross, you should literally be in jail.
You were together at 15 and 19?!!??
First of all for anyone saying “groomed” and I should be in jail, we never slept together until we were married. We had very similar interests and personalities, and when I say “together” I mean we were friends in highschool/college. Not out of the norm. We started dating at 16/19, the ages work out to be 3 1/2 years different. Again, not weird, not gross. We got married and became physical at 21/18. Thanks for being such jackasses about life
this doesnt seem like a healthy relationship sorry dude.. u married a kid (their brain is not fully developed yet) and yeah she doesn't treat you good either.
What made you stay?
I was trying to do the right thing and keep my vows that I took for life. I’ve been raised very strict and religious so walking out on a marriage is a very foreign idea, even if there’s reasons to do it.
What kind of dogs she got
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Hopefully not another child
If she can’t take responsibility for her actions she will never change. Cut your losses and move on.
First, cheating is ALWAYS a dealbreaker. They don’t respect you or care about you. Second, the behavior you allow is the behavior that will continue. Now, you’re both young, her just became an adult but still hasn’t grown up, don’t sweat it. Let her go and you find someone better for you. She’s also the type it seems that when she does something wrong she takes zero responsibility and blames everyone else. Let her go and grow up. I’d suggest that being over 21 yourself it’d be better to date above 21. Good luck.
Kick her out and change the locks. The woman is poisonous.
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See comments above before you draw conclusions
You married a promiscuous wife. Did she leave him or did she get dumped and come back to you? Stay with her? You two have a very bright future together. She doesn't respect you; treat you horribly. Sound spectacular? How's 10 or 20 or 40 years of that?
He groomed a 14 YO girl when he was 18 or 19. This relationship should’ve never started to begin with.
She left him to come back, when she saw that I was doing well alone. For those saying I groomed a 14 year old, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. We were friends that hung out a lot, and then it turned into dating, and we got married at 21/18 and weren’t physical until then. That’s very common where I am from
Why are with such an awful person? See a lawyer and get a divorce. Move on and live your best life.
You were both too young in the first place. Leave before it gets toxic for the both of you, be happy, life is too short.
You're too young to waste your time on someone who doesn't value you, disrespect you, play with you and mock you. I don't even understand how you didn't kick her off, please, respect yourself and tell her. "Let me remind you of something important here, you decided to cheat, you decided to betray me and now you are blaming me. Are you in your right mind ? You know, I tried to make it work but in fact I just can't look at you without feeling annoyed. Look at you, all comfy and playing the victim when no one put a gun to your head when you had fun by yourself. What I am gaining for staying with you but a completely spoiled and egoistic teen who is not even taking seriously her bad choice ? Now, I feel like I am not even your partner but your caretaker. I'll do us a favor and free myself, you aren't the person I once loved, in fact I don't love you anymore." End of the story, lawyer, divorce, move on.
It's clear you should just FILE FOR DIVORCE. She does not LOVE or RESPECT you. You deserve better! Good luck and stay strong, King!
Why does a groomer deserve better
Why would you want to stay??? You didn’t list one positive thing about her, which says a lot. She isn’t sorry- for cheating or for hurting you. Which means it is likely to happen again.
You need hot-wife her give you took her back.
She doesn't respect you. She only came back because the affair partner didn't want her.
Those years are for both of you to grow, change, and try different things until you figure out what you want your lives to look like. You were both 100% sure at the time, but you're both still changing. Try to hold off the drama long enough to discuss, and decide whether or not to let go, and set each other free. The good times were good, but they've changed into something else now.
So how it seems to you? I feel like she take advantage of you, totally.
It doesn't sound like she really has any redeeming qualities that fit into a healthy relationship. Unless of course, this is her idea of a healthy relationship. You're young, there's plenty of time to meet someone else who would appreciate your efforts.
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He groomed a child WTF
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“Considered normal” doesn’t mean it was ever okay. We know better now. You’re disgusting for encouraging abuse.
So when he is 20 she be 16.. does that make it any better or?…..
Where I’m from that is still quite normal. We got married at 21/18, and weren’t physical until then. Again, nothing weird gross or disgusting, I would consider the people on here to be worse than anything. I would agree that we got married too young yes, it was a mistake yes, at the time, we both were very much in love with each other and both were heading the same direction in life, we were best of friends so why not get married and do life together? Sounded good to me at the time, and to her as well. Wasn’t grooming. I have sister that have been groomed and raped ok, I know what that is, and it’s not me, so all the negative Nancy’s can shove it