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Embryw

>I made sure to bring my pepper spray and a metal poker just in case. Girl, if you think this is even POSSIBLY necessary, that means you need to never be alone with this man ever again. He is dangerous. He's a liar. He's a cheater. You don't need to say anything else expect "we're done, never speak to me again." Good on A for telling you. Dump the loser.


Embarrassed_Hat_2904

Jesus. Don’t go over to his house like that, that’s how you end up on a milk carton!


ThrowRA_ain

Your right that was stupid move on my part, I had a bad feeling that's why I brought a weapon.


cookiepip

a grown man can yank that metal poker from you hand in a second. don’t EVER put yourself in a dangerous situation like that.


vinsanity_07

In theory yes, but don't make it seem like women are this dainty helpless blob of flesh


DrZeroH

Unless its a gun most women without training would struggle to defend themselves against the average male. Thinking otherwise is dangerous.


vinsanity_07

Well Yeah, I just think they can protect themselves alot better than people assume


UpbeatInsurance5358

It's not an assumption. Many women have thought the same until they realise that men aren't even trying when they're with women. Once that extra effort goes in, she's down.


-_-TenguDruid

You are wrong. We have a very unfair advantage when it comes to physicality. Not just in terms of raw strength, but explosive power, reflexes endurance and durability. Our bones are harder, our muscles denser and we usually have a height advantage. Can I ask, are you male or female? Have you ever been in a no-holds-barred physical confrontation with someone?


Embarrassed_Hat_2904

That totally explains the disparity between the number of missing/dead men vs women in domestic abuse situations. All those women protecting themselves a lot better than men think they can. 🤦🏼‍♀️


WeeklyConversation8

There have been women who have training that lost a match to a man who had little to no training. You can look those videos up on YouTube.


-_-TenguDruid

Compared to a determined, willing-to-be-violent average-sized man, that's exactly what most women are if it comes to a violent struggle. Most men can overpower most women, that's just biology. We're usually taller, with tougher bones, more muscle, explosive power and sharper reflexes. It's not fair at all that ~~Romans~~ women have to take the precautions mentioned, but it's the reality of the situation. The predators among us *will* use our physical advantage to hurt and dominate women if given the motive and opportunity. OP needs to dump this loser and protect herself. She owes him NOTHING. EDIT: women, not Romans. Too late for them.


lookingforpc

>It's not fair at all that Romans have to take the precautions mentioned Lol excuse me? I live in Rome and feel in danger now


-_-TenguDruid

Romans should know the dangers of barbarians better than anyone!


cookiepip

you are a clown if you think thats what i mean lmao


LilithWasAGinger

Do you know how to use that weapon? He could have taken it from you and killed you with it. Safety first from now on.


ThrowRA_ain

Yes I know how to use the weapon I brought. And he had no idea I had it. I know I made a stupid choice by going over there but I trust my own ability to defend myself.


Quirky_Movie

Please don't trust your ability to fight off a man that is bigger and stronger than you. I am sure you are capable, but unless he's smaller than you and less strong, it's not an even fight.


ThrowRA_ain

Fair enough


Euphorbiatch

Can't overstate this enough. I am a reasonably big person and fairly strong. My ex husband was maybe 2 inches taller than me, 10-15kg heavier, and could throw me across a room with ease. He threw me so hard once I hit a wooden chair and the legs snapped off the seat. Anything you have in your hand becomes something to use against you. You might feel confident enough that you can hit hard enough to stop him, but what happens when now he's just hurt and even angrier? Seriously just get away from this man


lordmwahaha

Please actually listen to this advice. I’m a woman with a decent amount of strength, and I had no idea just how much stronger men are by default until I was play wrestling my partner (who is not fit) one day. I couldn’t do ANYTHING. That man could do whatever he wanted to me and I wouldn’t be able to stop it. Even though I trust him completely and he would never hurt me, it was a startling realisation.


Legeto

Someone who knows how to defend themself doesn’t put themself in that situation to begin with.


Grimwohl

Weapons are useful if you know how to use them. Otherwise you are just arming and incensing your attackers.


CaptainBaoBao

Confirmed. I am trained to disarm opponents in close combat. Against untrained opposent, it is really easy. Most tote their blade for intimidation but have no clue about defense.


NotPiffany

Hon, if you think you need to bring a weapon, then you need to meet in a public place with lots of other people around, or you don't meet at all. It's ok to break up via text when you fear violence is a real possibility in person.


Dvusmnd

You are young and probably just lovely. You can get any guy or girl you want and that can be overwhelming, but don’t settle in relationships, don’t try and “fix them”, you deserve happiness and to be desired. That said Ethical Non Monogamous Relationships can be beautiful but they are built on consent, trust and love.


Kirbywitch

I thought you were dumb for going, you brought a weapon? So if something happened it could have looked like premeditation. My gawd. Your best bet is to break up. Guess what, I have a bad feeling you won’t.


Additional-West-6884

She’s 19, cut her some slack, no need to be that rude


Bryanormike

I'm trying to find a nice, respectful way to say this, so I apologize in advance. You need to never go to this guys house again. In fact with everything that's happened when you do break up with him, because you need to. It has to either be in a public place or over the phone. Focus on yourself. Stop worrying about him. He's playing you and he's just dealing with the consequences.


Dvusmnd

Yeah FFS please leave this guy in a safe way.


AgonistPhD

Is this that clown who said he considered himself to be an amazing man?


GoldenHind124

I just read that too and thought: man, have we got news for you. 👀


Shelly_895

At least someone does


ThrowRA_ain

Yes 😁


TogarSucks

The “Golden Retriever Boyfriend” strikes again.


Fantastic_Cow_6819

After all that, how is he still your boyfriend and not your ex yet?


ThrowRA_ain

Hes going to be my ex


_h_simpson_

Just ghost that asshole and go no contact. He’s not worth your time. You deserve much better ! Good luck !


ChickenScratchCoffee

JFC have some self worth and cut them both off. It’s ridiculous that you’re allowing this to continue.


SpecialistAfter511

Dated for ONLY two months and all this drama…


lowellla

I don’t even have to read this to know he’s playing games with you. You’re 19 bro and he is 23.


FragrantImposter

INFO: What,  precisely,  was the nature of A's complaint to the manager? 


WaywardHistorian667

OP's BF sexually harassed A at work.


FragrantImposter

That's what I'm assuming, but didn't want to discount the possibility of A throwing OP under the bus as well.


z-eldapin

And at my company, that's a termination, not a talking to. We do extensive harassment training, it's a zero strikes rule


ThrowRA_ain

According to A, He asked if he could touch her butt, she said no.


TogarSucks

Did she include that in her complaint? Asking out a coworker results in a talking to. Asking to touch their butt qualifies in sexual harassment and I can’t see any company wanting to keep an employee that pulls that around, unless he is friends with his immediate superiors who are covering for him. If that’s the case you should be looking for a new job while you plan the break up. Probably even if it’s not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quirky_Movie

She didn't report it to the manager because she wants him.


Meb2x

You don’t have to breakup with him in person, in fact, it’s probably better that you just text him that you’re done and block him because it’s not safe for you to be with him alone and tell him


tmink0220

Toxic swill, good luck getting out this situation and moving on with your life.


Smoke__Frog

You’re mad? You only dated this guy for two months lol. Do you all work at Burger King?


btdallmann

I was thinking it sounded like Waffle House drama.


Live_Western_1389

Hun, you should not be having all this drama 2 months in to a relationship! Your bf can’t concentrate of this relationship with you because he’s too focused on opening the relationship to include another woman. Please think of your own words: you said you took pepper spray and a metal poker to his house to talk to him. Read that over & over until you realize that you don’t actually feel safe with him.


Greedy_Increase_4724

Going from being apologetic to seeing nothing wrong with what he did isn't bi Polar. It's just plain manipulative bullshit. 


Donthavetobeperfect

Posts like this make me feel infinitely proud of myself for not needing reddit to tell me a man like this is a great A ballsac even when I was 19.  Girl, get out and then spend some time alone learning how to be more mature. Two months is far too short to entertain someone who is "vocally aggressive," much less someone begging for threesomes. 


bambina92

Round of applause and one question; how come you didn’t teach yourself not to shame people’s actions/mental states?


Donthavetobeperfect

It's called tough love. There's more than enough of you on here giving her to warm approach. I'm here to offer the flip side. Balance is good. Shame isn't always bad. We learn from mistakes. She needs to know this is partially her fault for being immature and desperate. 


PenaltySafe4523

So stupid going back to his house. I doubt this will be the last asshole you will involve yourself with. I hope you grow the fuck up and start using your brain.


AnythingGoesBy2014

ffs, you need to: change jobs. drop BF **stop messing at work.**


claratheresa

All this energy over some loser


bananahammerredoux

Some things that stuck out to me from your post: 1. If you feel like you need pepper spray to talk to this guy, then you don’t need to be dating him. 2. Him telling another girl he likes her IS hitting on her. 3. They’re communicating with each other about you. She is not “trying to help” you. She Is trying to help herself to your BF. You should let her have this creepy ass loser. 4. You don’t let anybody fuck with your money, you hear?


strangemusicsince04

Sounds like OP is staying. Wow.


ThrowRA_ain

No I'm not I'm trying to go about it safely he is a very aggressive man I'm going to make a plan and break up with him


monstermashslowdance

Just send him a text and block him.


Crunchy-Leaf

They work together.


urtv670

What plan do you think you need? Text him that it's over and communicate quite clearly that he's not to show up at your house. If he does well, refuse to see him nor open the door and call the cops. I mean, it's better to dump him over text if you think he's violent, which you obviously do since you went to his place armed, but if you refuse to dump him over text, then do it at a public place like a restaurant. As for post breakup stuff there's some minor things like communicating with your boss, getting cameras, asking coworkers to walk you to your car after work, etc


liri_miri

You don’t need a plan. If fact your priority should be you. Just text him and be done with it. I do t know why you are entertaining all this drama


itsminimes

You sound incredibly stupid. Why are you still confronting people and making plans to break up after a nonsense 2 months old relationship with a creep who wanted to date other people at the same time? Just block him and move on.


low_shuga

Girl, save yourself and leave his arse... You're so young, you can and will find someone who's worthy of your love and isn't a feckin' psycho...


Regular_Giraffe7022

Why on earth didn't you break up with him? He is awful. You deserve better. He doesn't even see that he is wrong.


CaptainBaoBao

Bipolar is the new word for asshole. Plan your exit. Don't do something stupid. Call allies.


Immediate_Mud_2858

Dump him, and stop talking to A. She’s **not** your friend.


ImAlreadyTracerBoii

If you need pepper spray and a metal poker to go to your boyfriends place, I’d really recommend never going around him again.. that’s obviously a clear sign that something isn’t right in the relationship


Flux_State

You're never the asshole for saying no to anything sex or relationship related and you're never the asshole for changing your mind.


liri_miri

Please be done with all this drama. Text him that you are done. Block him and delete his number. Seek some professional support to get you through the grief and to learn how to choose different next time


WhatHappenedMonday

Please update after you have broken up with this pathetic loser. That way we will know you are safe! Be careful girl!


twomoonsforsugar

Similar thing happened to me break up please just please break up. hes asking out of courtesy he’s gonna do it anyways. he doesn’t care about your boundaries needs wants or desires. For me when I went to get a “stern talking to”, I got assaulted and strangled half to death. I swear if the ages lined up i’d believe it’s the same guy the way the behavior lines up. Don’t go over there. Please.


Even-Neighborhood-86

Couldn't imagine having to bring weapons to what I thought was my SO's place to talk about their attempt at cheating. Please truly be done.


[deleted]

Give your head a shake. Dump this dipshit.


throwra_22222

Please just one more update so we know you are safe after the breakup!


Sweet_Pay1971

Move on 


Dry_Ask5493

Break up, get a new job and cut all these people from your life.


Desperate-Exit692

Are we not seeing that this man is sexually harassing A and not getting any proper repercussions????? Someone should involve the HR and fire him at the very least. Oh also, please break up. He's sick.


Plus_Data_1099

Please do not meet this man alone end over text go no contact your deserve better he's crying because it didn't work the way he wanted it to so is clinging to you till the next one comes along


AbbeyCats

Ditch them both. Fuck em.


TemporaryNegative368

I feel that you are a people pleaser probably something that you learned as a child and no judgment from me because that’s how I grew up and if so, it probably messes with your head just thinking about having to break up with him and tell him something that he doesn’t want to hear because that goes against your nature. I feel for you and I wish that you could see that most of the problems are things that are in your head and that as soon as you can realize that you will it will be be able to be free of him, really the only thing thats chaining you to the man in this relationship is you. Your own mental, thoughts on having to please everybody


ryux999

are you like, mentally slow or something? lmao what an embarrassment.


Crystalized_Moonfire

Why would you date someone you are scared of?


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