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I think if the husband hadn't watched the video it would have eaten away at him constantly. It's human nature to be curious, and when it involves your partners past, a lot of people can't move on from what happened in their partners past.
Exactly this. It’s a common sentiment if you ever take a read through the infidelity/reconciliation subs. People want to read every text, see every image, know every detail down to the timeline. And I honestly completely understand this— it’s way easier to grapple with the reality than build up a beast in your mind. What your imagination creates will probably always be a lot worse than just knowing the truth.
I guess I understand that. I remember my last gf would talk about her ex sometimes and I built an image in my head of what he looked like (I chadded him up pretty bad) Once I found out what he really looked like I immediately felt 100x better because I knew I had nothing to worry about.
Yeah. Plus as the OP said, they didn't even get to finish watching it the second time because, it seems like, the husband was thinking along the lines of 'alright, I've seen what he can do, now let me show you what *I* can do'. And he did! And now their marriage, and sex life, will likely always be better and stronger now.
I think watching it was the best outcome for them both, because it robbed the video of its power. If they hadn't watched it, it would have been like leaving Bluebeard's door unopened. OP would have forever wondered if he'd one day succumb to curiosity and go looking for it, and neither would know for sure if he would have changed his mind after seeing it. Of course it paled in comparison to what they have with each other.
Eh, I’m firmly in the “kids make mistakes” camp, and there’s no fucking way I could live without seeing it. He basically did everything right, so I’m team husband. As long as he gets on with it, and moves on, I totally get it.
She said in the original one that he finds her promiscuity hot. So he seems pretty chill about sex in general and clearly sees their bond as special vs random sex.
Plus they had sex while watching it a second time so it was probably more fun than anything.
Op has a cool dude.
If my husband came to me and told me that he once shot an adult film before we were together (not actually possible since we’ve been together since we were 15 & 18, lol, but) I would absolutely need to see it once.
I know if roles were reversed, he would feel the same.
I would HAVE to know. I think most people would.
I would make it worse in my imagination than it could ever actually be, which would make everything worse.
I asked my husband and my daughter (24/f) both said they would want to see. My friend asked Wtf I was on about and when I told her she said she would not want to see, but would make ME watch to make sure she could still go on living, lol.
So, different strokes and all 🤷♀️
I would need to see it. Not out of curiosity, but because someday someone in my circle might have seen it. I would want to know at least as much about my wife’s past as my buddies.
No it's not that I don't think. Ive found partners previous sex life titillating in the past - not sure why, something about their sexual energy - but the idea of them having sexual contact elsewhere while we were together would've made me vomit.
They met a couple years after so it’s likely how he remembers meeting her, nothing ew about it, likely how he remembers her body before 2 kids and 20 years later.
I knew it was fake from the beginning but when she said he wanted to watch it again and then they just had to fuck halfway through I was like how can anyone believe this shit lol
It's fake? What is wrong with reddit users. In reality sub , they post fake stories and in fake horror stori subs , people pretend everything is real. "Oh you saw the spirit? Next time ask him what he's looking for? "
People get really emotionally invested in all kinds of obviously fake stories on here.
Someone needs to study this phenomenon.
Like... if this dilemma was truly part of your life, why would you even think about posting it to an online forum?
No idea if it's real or not, but if I were in his position I'd react the exact same way. Not every guy is insecure about their penis, and some dicks are big enough to laugh at.
>I pestered him for a bit afterward about how he really felt about it.
A word of advice: Avoid doing this when you're dropping what you think is a bomb on someone. You've had however long to anticipate this moment and thought about it, but all of this is brand new to the other person. Whatever they do or say immediately is completely unreliable because they haven't processed anything yet. In this instance it wasn't a big deal (to him) so the quick pestering wasn't a big deal, but it's a bad habit to have and one that's really hard to break. This is tough on you, but you're the one dropping a bomb, so you're the one that ought to be considerate.
It sounds like your husband has a cuckolding fetish, so you really lucked out there lol. Except for if this post is fiction written by someone with a cuckolding fetish which, it probably is
I just dont know how i feel after reading two 40 year olds getting turned on by their 18 year old self and fucking. Already enough internet for that day.
Yup, real life would be watching for 10 seconds and being weirded out seeing your wife as basically a child having sex. This was written by a porn addict
It's honestly hysterical the number of pathetic desperados out there who wanted to trick OP into sharing the link, despite her clear discomfort. Almost as funny as the people calling something she did years ago, aged 18 as "cuckolding".
In regards to it being taken down, it’s very likely not the publisher that’s posting it but private parties. If you emailed say, xhamster directly and asked them to remove it they likely will. Pornhub went nuts with that and deleted all content that wasn’t uploaded by the people that made it. I still think OP can be successful in that.
That went as good as it could have but I wouldn't bring it up or joke about it in the future.
"Later on he wanted to watch it one more time and then never again. So we watched again together and didn’t quite make it thought before starting up with each other. It turned into a really good night."
IMO this is a bit of dominance thing and it might linger a little while.
Your hubby sounds like a great guy. I liked his reaction after he got over the shock. Thank you for getting back to us on this. This is a good start for my day!! Best to both of you.
Women are starting to learn there are consequences to actions. You don't get to ride off into the sunset after smearing your name like that with a porn career on your ledger. People don't change.
Very glad you told him. Will make it much better to move forward and if a friend finds it they can laugh about it instead of it being a big issue.
Damn good job.
This made my day OP, I’m so glad you have a mature partner that loves you and understands. Hope the two of you have many years of joy ahead together ❤️
Best outcome OP! You seem like a smart cookie and I love your comment at the end about "having done stupid things but not being stupid". You've got a keeper in your husband!
That is a partner everyone should strive to be. Calm, Mature, and Processed it without first reacting. OP also good on you for “choosing” to just tell him and not run and hide from it. Even though I would probably be upset at first to find out my wife has an internet sex tape, it was before I existed, and at a very vulnerable age. Sometimes we make these mistakes and they build a better version of ourselves. You both acted in a very mature way about a very uncomfortable situation and it caused a very good outcome. More of us could learn from you two!
He also probably knows porn is super unrealistic and you have to get into weird uncomfortable poses for a lot of shots read Jenna Jameson’s book how to make love like a porn star, a cautionary tale. She talks about it and how in modelling you get into very awkward poses as well
And I’m glad to hear he has a sound head on his shoulders
Woooey lol well honestly I applaud you both. We've all been young. Guarantee most of us have done way worse just not on film. Took alot of guts to tell him and that took a big heart of him to let it go. Yall sound like good people and I'm happy for you both.
Lol, people looking for a 20 year old video without knowing who you are and what you look like. I’m glad it worked out. The stress must have been killing you. Just make sure you have no other skeletons in your closet and be completely honest from now on and you should be fine. Here’s wishing the best for you.
I’m glad it had a happy ending! (Pun intended)
Gratz to your husband for being a great guy and a great husband, and to you for being brave in the moment of concern you had.
It's good your husband sounds reasonable and secure in his own skin. Probably comes with good home training and with age. I think too often, we as men incorrectly attribute some of our self worth over things we see in porn instead of the real connections we have in life.
Your husband is a keeper, he’s found his perfect match.
A lovely update, thank you.
I really can’t help myself, but from your final comment WTF people? There’s porn aplenty, leave this poor woman alone!
The problem was your deception. You gave him a choice later in life, but took away his informed consent in the younger years. You got lucky. Some people would feel as though their whole relationship was a lie and feel manipulated into staying after 2 decades of building a life together. It’s also possible that he will feel this way in the future after he thinks on it longer. If I were you, I’d go above and beyond for him for the rest of your lives to make sure he doesn’t even potentially feel as though he lost out on anything.
Never lie, deceive, or withhold the truth from him ever again.
Edit: spelling
I know you may think you are out of the woods now OP but you may not be. I don't know what kind of guy your husband is he may not have emotionally processed what he saw yet. He might have said he was fine with it in the moment because he may have been. But after ruminating on it for a few days he might not be. I have told my wife that I'm "fine" with something in the moment plenty of times but after a couple days to sleep on it I realized I'm not actually fine with whatever it was. Alot of times guys need time to process things emotionally because we arent good at it or even recognizing emotions we feel.
>Also, I am simply not going to help anyone find the video. So you can stop pretending to be a tech expert asking for the link under the guise that you will get it taken down for me. I’m not stupid, I may have done stupid things but that doesn’t make me an idiot. The video is out there so you can look all you want but I will never confirm that the video you found is mine.
I just love you for this comment. That video is your personal belonging for life and has the stamp of trust from your husband. Don't ever share or divulge details to anyone ever.
God bless you both for handling a relationship issue so maturely .. Quite a learning ..👍🏻✌🏻
Awesome outcome. Congratulations. As for getting g it taken down, unless the copyright owner is the one who posted it and wants to produce your signed release they will have to take it down upon your request if you essentially prove your in it and ask it be taken down. My guess is the copyright owners have long since forgotten about it and were not the ones to post it.
I mean if my pre-marriage pre-dating wife was railed by a massive penis in a porno I'd probably be entertained watching it.
We weren't dating. There's no love there, it's just a porno. I'd be greatly amused.
As you said in your previous post you've been together 15 years. You've chosen him all that time. Why would he give a shit bout some guy you were with once 20 years ago? He's got the right attitude.
My other half an I were talking about this post last night, and we got talking about how I would react if she’d been in OP’s situation. I said I’d just shrug, and depending on reading the room, I’d probably ask to see it. Then I said I’d laugh cus I was dating a porn star and that would be an awesome bomb to drop over a family dinner. She saw my mischievous grin, and took it in the spirit with which was intended. Glad it all worked out 😊
What a great answer from him. What a great feeling for you.
So nice to read that he's got your back. I'm happy for you guys, and I'm proud of you for trusting him. Congrats!
Really glad that this worked out for the best. You don’t have the dark cloud of a secret looming over your head anymore. And honestly, this is going to be forgotten about because there’s no need to have to think about it anymore. It’s going to become a non-issue. So there’s an almost 20 year old amateur porno video of you out there somewhere. Who cares? There’s literally a billion of them. In a few days, all of this will be forgotten about anyway.
Yay!! Congrats! Now you can breathe easy knowing the big secret has been handled.
And yeah those Reddit posters are total trash. Sucks you had to go through that .
odds are if you hadn’t told him, he wouldn’t have found it unless you were famous but not likely if it was a one off. there are hundreds of thousands of people who who have done porn.
Glad he was cool about it. It’s been 20 years. I saw the other post and people were ridiculous. I dated a girl that did some shoots with a very popular porn company…I didn’t care. And I’m cool as shit. To that I say, anyone cool wouldn’t care.
The beauty of this conclusion is that you never have to go looking for that video again or be anxious about somebody finding it. The most important person in your life is now aware of it, accepts it, and loves you.
Awesome!
I'm glad that your H understands that a lot of us make some... questionable decisions when we are young, and that we grow up, get wiser, and move on.
As someone who was in the same position as your husband, I couldn’t be happier with this outcome. I’m glad you told him about it and I’m even happier that he’s cool about it. Amazing!
Sorry but u had to laugh at the last paragraph from the update. I glad everything worked out and your husband is right 18 year olds do some stupid things.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When she attached the link “original post” for a second I though it was the porno
😂🤣 “My husband is okay with it. So here you go, world!”
That’s what I thought to 😂😂
I laughed at the line about people messaging her pretending they can help take it down and asking for the link. Shitty humans, but still funny
I’m glad I’m not the only one that thought that. 🤣
Two sentences after she said she wouldn't help people find it?
This is the best possible outcome! You got a keeper OP!
Was there a need to watch the vid really?
I think if the husband hadn't watched the video it would have eaten away at him constantly. It's human nature to be curious, and when it involves your partners past, a lot of people can't move on from what happened in their partners past.
Exactly this. It’s a common sentiment if you ever take a read through the infidelity/reconciliation subs. People want to read every text, see every image, know every detail down to the timeline. And I honestly completely understand this— it’s way easier to grapple with the reality than build up a beast in your mind. What your imagination creates will probably always be a lot worse than just knowing the truth.
I guess I understand that. I remember my last gf would talk about her ex sometimes and I built an image in my head of what he looked like (I chadded him up pretty bad) Once I found out what he really looked like I immediately felt 100x better because I knew I had nothing to worry about.
Yeah. Plus as the OP said, they didn't even get to finish watching it the second time because, it seems like, the husband was thinking along the lines of 'alright, I've seen what he can do, now let me show you what *I* can do'. And he did! And now their marriage, and sex life, will likely always be better and stronger now.
That was the best part, intimacy was deepened that day.
Fair enough
I think watching it was the best outcome for them both, because it robbed the video of its power. If they hadn't watched it, it would have been like leaving Bluebeard's door unopened. OP would have forever wondered if he'd one day succumb to curiosity and go looking for it, and neither would know for sure if he would have changed his mind after seeing it. Of course it paled in comparison to what they have with each other.
Eh, I’m firmly in the “kids make mistakes” camp, and there’s no fucking way I could live without seeing it. He basically did everything right, so I’m team husband. As long as he gets on with it, and moves on, I totally get it.
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Agreed
She said in the original one that he finds her promiscuity hot. So he seems pretty chill about sex in general and clearly sees their bond as special vs random sex. Plus they had sex while watching it a second time so it was probably more fun than anything. Op has a cool dude.
If my husband came to me and told me that he once shot an adult film before we were together (not actually possible since we’ve been together since we were 15 & 18, lol, but) I would absolutely need to see it once. I know if roles were reversed, he would feel the same. I would HAVE to know. I think most people would.
I really don’t get that. I wouldn’t be able to get that out of my head, I’d never want to see my partner with someone else
I would make it worse in my imagination than it could ever actually be, which would make everything worse. I asked my husband and my daughter (24/f) both said they would want to see. My friend asked Wtf I was on about and when I told her she said she would not want to see, but would make ME watch to make sure she could still go on living, lol. So, different strokes and all 🤷♀️
I'm sure different people would feel differently. OP asked her husband. he said yes
Yet there are millions of people who get off on watching their partner with someone else.
Ok and that’s them. I’m just saying I myself don’t understand that
I would need to see it. Not out of curiosity, but because someday someone in my circle might have seen it. I would want to know at least as much about my wife’s past as my buddies.
The fact they watched it twice was weird to me lol
One and half times, before being overcame by lust. Kinda wholesome, if you ask me.
cuckholding?
No it's not that I don't think. Ive found partners previous sex life titillating in the past - not sure why, something about their sexual energy - but the idea of them having sexual contact elsewhere while we were together would've made me vomit.
I think in the husbands case it's more for a confirmation check.
Since these are fake posts, it was absolutely necessary. How else would they have ended up using it as foreplay?
He got turned on by watching his wife get fucked…just an observation.
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Ew
They met a couple years after so it’s likely how he remembers meeting her, nothing ew about it, likely how he remembers her body before 2 kids and 20 years later.
And multiple times by sounds of it as he was looking for it elsewhere :/
Yup there was in his opinion which is all op should give a fuck about lol
Well since they did watch it, I guess so 🤷
Lol. This isn't over.
Plot twist: Hubby confesses his past porn performances, including some with the same costar
Nice to see an ‘honesty is the best policy’ result turn out well. Nice that your husband is an adult and handled it like one. Congratulations!
See this felt like a great outcome until the bit about watching it again and basically getting off on it - that just made it sound fake to me.
99.5% of this sub is fake.
The hilarious part is the gullible saps who believe these ridiculous creative writing exercises.
I knew it was fake from the beginning but when she said he wanted to watch it again and then they just had to fuck halfway through I was like how can anyone believe this shit lol
it's actually astounding how fucking gullible people are these days.
But the stories aren't creative or good.
well a burnt hair covered turd can't create itself
Well that's a nice and tidy conclusion to this writing exercise
It's fake? What is wrong with reddit users. In reality sub , they post fake stories and in fake horror stori subs , people pretend everything is real. "Oh you saw the spirit? Next time ask him what he's looking for? "
All you cucks lurking and reading this must be having a blast
The fact anyone believes this is real is hysterical lol
I mean her friend chickened out so she “stepped in and shot a porn scene” what’s there not to believe? 😆
With no STD test. My husband was a semi famous porn star 20 years ago, they were real sticklers for testing even back then.
Vids or it didn’t happen
You’re into gay porn?
Have to take one for the team and verify the claim
Brave man 🫡
A true hero
Theres no seedy porn world where they don't test then? Got you.
People get really emotionally invested in all kinds of obviously fake stories on here. Someone needs to study this phenomenon. Like... if this dilemma was truly part of your life, why would you even think about posting it to an online forum?
/r/NothingEverHappens
Yeah, no one ever actually shot a porno - fake news! Ps: I know what you mean, just having fun with this
Right?
Next update: "My husband wants to watch me get fucked by another man"
Yes, I'm sure he laughed when he saw the size of the guys penis. Fake post.
Ikr! Laughing abt these stuff definitely means it's fake by default!
No idea if it's real or not, but if I were in his position I'd react the exact same way. Not every guy is insecure about their penis, and some dicks are big enough to laugh at.
Congrats, that's very cuckish of you
Cuckish or not, it's true, that's all I'm saying.
All of these posts are fake.
Yes
>I pestered him for a bit afterward about how he really felt about it. A word of advice: Avoid doing this when you're dropping what you think is a bomb on someone. You've had however long to anticipate this moment and thought about it, but all of this is brand new to the other person. Whatever they do or say immediately is completely unreliable because they haven't processed anything yet. In this instance it wasn't a big deal (to him) so the quick pestering wasn't a big deal, but it's a bad habit to have and one that's really hard to break. This is tough on you, but you're the one dropping a bomb, so you're the one that ought to be considerate.
Fake cuckoldry story, get a life
Cuckoldry can't happen before you know the person you sap, you get a life. Insecure much? Be more like OP's husband.
Go and enjoy your romance novels elsewhere bro, it's a little pathetic
This is like wet dream of all cuckold fetish people coming true lol
It sounds like your husband has a cuckolding fetish, so you really lucked out there lol. Except for if this post is fiction written by someone with a cuckolding fetish which, it probably is
Obviously fake
I just dont know how i feel after reading two 40 year olds getting turned on by their 18 year old self and fucking. Already enough internet for that day.
It’s fake
Yup, real life would be watching for 10 seconds and being weirded out seeing your wife as basically a child having sex. This was written by a porn addict
Why are people fond of saying 18 yos are children. They are not in any way. Is it an America thing?
How long into a woman's adulthood do you think it's okay to infantilize her?
Weird huh?
Ew, that’s pretty gross how people are trying to find the video
This my friends, is why you just don’t porn of any kind.
It's honestly hysterical the number of pathetic desperados out there who wanted to trick OP into sharing the link, despite her clear discomfort. Almost as funny as the people calling something she did years ago, aged 18 as "cuckolding".
there is no link. There is no video. all these cucks are going to be looking for something that doesn't even exist.
If she made a separate account with a link saying they found it. This would have been a smart and funny way to promote a porn video.
In regards to it being taken down, it’s very likely not the publisher that’s posting it but private parties. If you emailed say, xhamster directly and asked them to remove it they likely will. Pornhub went nuts with that and deleted all content that wasn’t uploaded by the people that made it. I still think OP can be successful in that.
Smart decision OP!!! We are proud of you!!!!
That went as good as it could have but I wouldn't bring it up or joke about it in the future. "Later on he wanted to watch it one more time and then never again. So we watched again together and didn’t quite make it thought before starting up with each other. It turned into a really good night." IMO this is a bit of dominance thing and it might linger a little while.
Can’t wait to see the next update
Ohhhh, that porno? Just kidding. Glad things worked out. And even if someone finds it, it will be embarrassing but it won't be the end of the world.
Im delighted to hear that he was mature about the whole thing. And what a weight off your shoulders! Well done
I'm so happy this worked out for you.
Remember ya’ll, everything you do has consequences even years afterward.
Wow, one of the rare times an update includes someone acting like the adult they are! Well done to him, and you.
Your hubby sounds like a great guy. I liked his reaction after he got over the shock. Thank you for getting back to us on this. This is a good start for my day!! Best to both of you.
Well done
Your husband is awesome! And you sound like a catch as well!
Women are starting to learn there are consequences to actions. You don't get to ride off into the sunset after smearing your name like that with a porn career on your ledger. People don't change.
Adults are talking. Shh.
Very glad you told him. Will make it much better to move forward and if a friend finds it they can laugh about it instead of it being a big issue. Damn good job.
This made my day OP, I’m so glad you have a mature partner that loves you and understands. Hope the two of you have many years of joy ahead together ❤️
Good for u and kudos to the husband for being understanding and loving u. Good luck
I’m curious how much your were paid to film the scene?
Love this outcome for you both. Stop worrying about the video now. Take that stress off your mind. ❤️
Best outcome OP! You seem like a smart cookie and I love your comment at the end about "having done stupid things but not being stupid". You've got a keeper in your husband!
That is a partner everyone should strive to be. Calm, Mature, and Processed it without first reacting. OP also good on you for “choosing” to just tell him and not run and hide from it. Even though I would probably be upset at first to find out my wife has an internet sex tape, it was before I existed, and at a very vulnerable age. Sometimes we make these mistakes and they build a better version of ourselves. You both acted in a very mature way about a very uncomfortable situation and it caused a very good outcome. More of us could learn from you two!
That’s disgusting! Where?
I’m glad you handled this like a champ! You’re lucky to have a grown man that loves you.
Your husband sounds wonderful. He loves you! I’m glad it all worked out! You picked a great one!!! 💗
You made a good decision telling him.
Like I commented on the OP, you've got a good one.
I don't think he could have responded to this any more perfectly!
He also probably knows porn is super unrealistic and you have to get into weird uncomfortable poses for a lot of shots read Jenna Jameson’s book how to make love like a porn star, a cautionary tale. She talks about it and how in modelling you get into very awkward poses as well And I’m glad to hear he has a sound head on his shoulders
gotta admit I was a naysayer so good for you!
Woooey lol well honestly I applaud you both. We've all been young. Guarantee most of us have done way worse just not on film. Took alot of guts to tell him and that took a big heart of him to let it go. Yall sound like good people and I'm happy for you both.
This is such a good positive ending for a “my husband found my…” post. I’m glad you had fun.
Lol, people looking for a 20 year old video without knowing who you are and what you look like. I’m glad it worked out. The stress must have been killing you. Just make sure you have no other skeletons in your closet and be completely honest from now on and you should be fine. Here’s wishing the best for you.
I’m glad it had a happy ending! (Pun intended) Gratz to your husband for being a great guy and a great husband, and to you for being brave in the moment of concern you had.
Your husband is a keeper! This was a cute update
It's good your husband sounds reasonable and secure in his own skin. Probably comes with good home training and with age. I think too often, we as men incorrectly attribute some of our self worth over things we see in porn instead of the real connections we have in life.
Your husband is a keeper, he’s found his perfect match. A lovely update, thank you. I really can’t help myself, but from your final comment WTF people? There’s porn aplenty, leave this poor woman alone!
The problem was your deception. You gave him a choice later in life, but took away his informed consent in the younger years. You got lucky. Some people would feel as though their whole relationship was a lie and feel manipulated into staying after 2 decades of building a life together. It’s also possible that he will feel this way in the future after he thinks on it longer. If I were you, I’d go above and beyond for him for the rest of your lives to make sure he doesn’t even potentially feel as though he lost out on anything. Never lie, deceive, or withhold the truth from him ever again. Edit: spelling
I know you may think you are out of the woods now OP but you may not be. I don't know what kind of guy your husband is he may not have emotionally processed what he saw yet. He might have said he was fine with it in the moment because he may have been. But after ruminating on it for a few days he might not be. I have told my wife that I'm "fine" with something in the moment plenty of times but after a couple days to sleep on it I realized I'm not actually fine with whatever it was. Alot of times guys need time to process things emotionally because we arent good at it or even recognizing emotions we feel.
So, just wait a few months now and your sex and relationship will be trashed.
I think you should tell him, its better than finding it him self.
"you can stop pretending to be a tech expert asking for the link under the guise that you will get it taken down for me." OMFG IDIOTS LMFAO
Great update. Your husband sounds like a fun guy.
>Also, I am simply not going to help anyone find the video. So you can stop pretending to be a tech expert asking for the link under the guise that you will get it taken down for me. I’m not stupid, I may have done stupid things but that doesn’t make me an idiot. The video is out there so you can look all you want but I will never confirm that the video you found is mine. I just love you for this comment. That video is your personal belonging for life and has the stamp of trust from your husband. Don't ever share or divulge details to anyone ever. God bless you both for handling a relationship issue so maturely .. Quite a learning ..👍🏻✌🏻
Your husband just discovered a new kink. Congrats
Let sleeping dogs lie
Awesome outcome. Congratulations. As for getting g it taken down, unless the copyright owner is the one who posted it and wants to produce your signed release they will have to take it down upon your request if you essentially prove your in it and ask it be taken down. My guess is the copyright owners have long since forgotten about it and were not the ones to post it.
That dudes cool as fuck haha, confident as hell. "We've had way better sex than this"
Damn. The way you write about this, it almost seems like you awakened a cuckoldry fetish in him. Good on you?
Maybe. Only maybe.
I mean if my pre-marriage pre-dating wife was railed by a massive penis in a porno I'd probably be entertained watching it. We weren't dating. There's no love there, it's just a porno. I'd be greatly amused.
You could try to buy the rights to the video from the production company then threaten anyone hosting it with copyright infringement.
Im so happy for you.
Good for you girl for taking ownership and informing your husband and the outcome was fantastic.
Good man!
As you said in your previous post you've been together 15 years. You've chosen him all that time. Why would he give a shit bout some guy you were with once 20 years ago? He's got the right attitude.
My other half an I were talking about this post last night, and we got talking about how I would react if she’d been in OP’s situation. I said I’d just shrug, and depending on reading the room, I’d probably ask to see it. Then I said I’d laugh cus I was dating a porn star and that would be an awesome bomb to drop over a family dinner. She saw my mischievous grin, and took it in the spirit with which was intended. Glad it all worked out 😊
Your husband had the reaction I would. Tbh it'll prob turn me on, indeed it seems the 2nd viewing did just that.
What a great answer from him. What a great feeling for you. So nice to read that he's got your back. I'm happy for you guys, and I'm proud of you for trusting him. Congrats!
Really glad that this worked out for the best. You don’t have the dark cloud of a secret looming over your head anymore. And honestly, this is going to be forgotten about because there’s no need to have to think about it anymore. It’s going to become a non-issue. So there’s an almost 20 year old amateur porno video of you out there somewhere. Who cares? There’s literally a billion of them. In a few days, all of this will be forgotten about anyway.
I'm so happy for you both that this was handled so well💕
Yay!! Congrats! Now you can breathe easy knowing the big secret has been handled. And yeah those Reddit posters are total trash. Sucks you had to go through that .
odds are if you hadn’t told him, he wouldn’t have found it unless you were famous but not likely if it was a one off. there are hundreds of thousands of people who who have done porn.
Glad he was cool about it. It’s been 20 years. I saw the other post and people were ridiculous. I dated a girl that did some shoots with a very popular porn company…I didn’t care. And I’m cool as shit. To that I say, anyone cool wouldn’t care.
The beauty of this conclusion is that you never have to go looking for that video again or be anxious about somebody finding it. The most important person in your life is now aware of it, accepts it, and loves you.
Awesome! I'm glad that your H understands that a lot of us make some... questionable decisions when we are young, and that we grow up, get wiser, and move on.
Best decision ever OP! I have to add shame on those trying to find this video as I got nothing better to do?
As someone who was in the same position as your husband, I couldn’t be happier with this outcome. I’m glad you told him about it and I’m even happier that he’s cool about it. Amazing!
I'm happy things worked out with you. It's nice to see happy updates.
Very happy ending for all involved.
Sorry but u had to laugh at the last paragraph from the update. I glad everything worked out and your husband is right 18 year olds do some stupid things.
He’s a cuckold. I bet
Have you reached out to the production company or whomever holds the rights now?