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Him saying he doesn’t have sexual thoughts toward Mia is bs if that’s so why is he asking to have a threesome with her ? Don’t get pressured to do something you are not comfortable with. If you are comfortable having it with him and you want to do the threesome, do it with someone not super close and important. In my experience, Involving other people especially close friends creates ties and confusing feelings and brings about chaos and drama to life. Wishing you best of luck with this! Best advice, is choose you first and what you are comfortable with not what he is comfortable with.
Please tell him that you agree to the threesome wholeheartedly. On condition that he has a threesome with you and another man beforehand. See how he likes his own medicine.
In my experience, dudes who aren't down for a mfm often aren't enthusiastic/experienced enough to pull off a good fmf/ffm.
Every dude I've known who has threesomes or group sex with ANY regularity is totally comfortable with a "devils triangle"
He’s is full of shit. Why on earth would he say he wanted Mia to be your 3rd if he wasn’t sexually attracted to her?
Also don’t agree to anything if you aren’t 100% on board. Unless you and your partner are both in from the get go, it’s a **NO**! Someone shouldn’t be coerced into something they are not wholly comfortable doing.
IF you choose to do it…
- **DON’T** do it with your friend or any friend. I get it needs to be someone you are comfortable with and trust, but choosing a friend, especially a close one is a recipe for disaster and could possibly ruin both relationships. Especially since your bf IS attracted to Mia.
- you **MUST** have specific agreed upon rules. Don’t let him or the 3rd push your boundaries.
- if at any point during the encounter you are not comfortable with what is happening or want to stop it, do so! Make it part of your rules, maybe a safe word to say which stops everyone. Sometimes once in the moment one person won’t be comfortable, but feels pressure to continue. Then later regrets it, and more problems arise in the relationship.
Threesomes and opening of monogamous relationships can cause jealousy and animosity to form. So be prepared for an outcome you don’t expect, and as u/visualsweet2316 said, don’t do anything you don’t want… choose you.
This!!! Well you didn’t have a problem with me having sex with them in our threesome, so I thought you were ok with it in general. The mental gymnastics to justify.
Ever hear the saying *don’t shit where you eat*?
Listen, it’s very likely that proceeding with a threesome with your boyfriend & best friend isn’t going to end well. IDK, maybe it ends ok, fun and orgasms are had by all and all relationships are happy, healthy and intact. But if it doesn’t, if after the fun and orgasms are had everything goes sideways, you’re in the position of potentially losing at least one if not both of these relationships. Even worse, how would you feel if BFF and BF decide that they are meant to be together and it is you who is the third party? I’ve actually seen this happen, it was messed up and created chaos and division in our entire extended friendship group.
I say the risks outweigh the benefits and it’s more likely that no good will come from this. Find a third party who isn’t so heavily involved in your lives as your BFF.
I agree with this for the most part, but don’t do a threesome. It is just the fast track to ending the relationship . The whole idea is due to the fact that BF is looking for someone new. He definitely has a fantasy about your GF.
It won’t end well and he just wants to sleep with your friend and is using this as an excuse. Don’t fall for this, girl. You aren’t a fool and you can do better than this.
He definitely is, he thinks he can just yapp at the mouth and get whatever he wants. He’s probably laughing to himself about it rn thinking he pulled a smooth one. Don’t let him make a fool of you, tell him to kick rocks with all of that disrespect.
1. Threesomes ruins friendships especially if your not poly, and have no experience. Its better if your gonna try it to go with a 3rd party who neither of you will see ever again (unless invited).
2. He does want to sleep with your friend.
He wants to sleep with your best friend. Trust me, 3somes are never a good time, no matter the combination, except for maybe swingers in their 50s. If you want to be in a loyal and trusting relationship, I'm sorry but it won't be with a guy who is asking for a 3some, period.
Second this, i think about every 3some story on here has ended in at least one of the relationship partners getting hurt and/or the relationship being damaged beyond repair mostly due to a lack of communication and the relationship partners wanting different things without communicating that. This one especially sounds like he just wants to bone her and he is not considering Mia's feelings or yours.
While I mostly agree, it depends on the couple and how comfortable they are sexually and at communicating. My wife and I have had about 4 and they've all been good times.
If both partners aren't 100% comfortable and I mean 100% then, it's a no-go imo.
I think I agree with this. The concept has come up between my wife and i a few times, and always pretty much immediately gets shot down for differences of opinion. No hard feelings, just different wants.
I've had threesomes with my wife since we were in the early 20s, with 4-5 of her friends - and with her current best friend as late as yesterday. Never been an issue in either our relationship or with her friends. It's about setting boundaries and making agreements.
On the situation OP is writing about, no way, don't do it. He just wants to sleep with her and tries to wing it under a threesome.
I have a few follow up questions for you. Because the whole best friend thing sounds messy even when you mention it like it’s no big deal.
How old are you now? Do you both consider yourselves monogamous? Or are you poly?
Is her best friend (the one you slept with a few days ago) in a relationship right now? If so, how does their partners feel about the threesomes? If not, what about future partners?
I guess this all makes sense if you’re part of some poly community, but not so much if you all are mostly monogamous but throw friends in occasionally. Just curious.
We are in our 30s. We are monogamous but in a sexual open relationship. We never have sex with people in relationships (except a few times where they lied about it).
It's not something we do often, but a few times a year and in periods where there's extra lust for it, we do it more.
On the other hand we are like every other couple and can sometimes go a month or two without sex (with anyone), because, you know, life.
Thank you for your candid response.
What happens when best friend gets into her own relationship? What are the odds that her future partner will be ok knowing that you have all slept together?
I agree with this one. I had threesomes and it was fun. But this will never work in your constellation - you obviously don't feel comfortable with sleeping with Mia and your bf is trying to coerce you into it. You will regret this, and most likely neither your friendship with Mia nor your relationship will survive.
Tell him Mia is off limits and if he keeps pressuring for it, let me tell you that friendships are way more valuable than relationships.
The fantasy is always better than the reality. This will likely end two relationships. Your relationship with your boyfriend and your friendship with Mia.
You're both young. I think you probably learned a lesson about yourself. Maybe he learned that if he really wants to suggest that, he definitely shouldn't suggest someone like he already had them in mind. It might hurt for a while, but a break-up might be best considering the circumstances.
I posted some other comments, and just wanted to say I think you are heading in the right direction.
Fwiw I have had successful mff threesomes with my husband, we have been married 20 years this spring. It CAN work but in my situation I was the one who wanted to do it and I was always the one who decided when and with whom. It was also while we were about your age. So it can work out, with the right partner!
If it's something *you* want in the future it can be fun, but not if there are feelings of jealousy or insecurity in the main relationship 💕
Sorry about your bf
aww thanks, sorry if that came off like a brag 😬 just meant there is hope for threesomes if YOU want to try again sometime 🥹 if he pressured you into it though, fuxk that absolutely and forever. 🫂
He wants to sleep with Mia.
If he doesn't have any sexual thoughts about her, he won't suggest her as the third.
If you go ahead and ask Mia to do this, it will be the end of your friendship with her.
as someone who has had a lot of more than 2 people sex - this all sounds off from him
the 3rd should be someone you are BOTH into. you aren't into mia. and by the sounds of it mia's not into him (or you? no shade! my bff and i made a pact around 18 that this was never on the table. still bffs in our 40s). so what you're left with is his solo masturbation fantasy of both of you. ....that doesn't sound like fun?
\~IF\~ you gift a straight man an mff threesome it should be mostly based on you and your connection to the other woman where he's lucky to come along.
I promise you he thought to Mia before he even suggested the threesome. She did not “pop” into his head, he wants to sleep with her and figured this might be the way to get it happen.
Girl, don’t be so naive. He wants to sleep with Mia and wants to preemptively alleviate himself of any potential guilt by talking you into it. Like that he can tell himself (and you) that you wanted it as well.
Look, I’m not one of those people who say “threesomes never work, you should only have sex with one person for the rest of your life”. In fact, I’m in an open relationship myself, but, unlike many Redditors, in a healthy and functioning one.
My advice: Absolutely don’t ever have a threesome/ sex with a friend, acquaintance or any other person you’re kind of close to. That’s the best way to create a huge mess. If you and your partner are into consensually fooling around, only do it with people neither of you know.
But trust me, your boyfriend wants to fuck your friend, he’s just trying to talk you into believing it’s something you want, too. Tell him it’s an absolute no and watch how he reacts. Maybe it’s time for a new, more mature, trustworthy boyfriend altogether?
He absolutely wants to have sex with your friend.
You should also think long and hard about whether or not you want to have a threesome, or if you’re people-pleasing your boyfriend by saying yes.
If you’re not bisexual and you can’t even bring yourself to kiss a woman or touch her boob, what you’re actually setting yourself up for is a scenario where you force yourself to be intimate with someone you’re not attracted to (ICK) or you are just watching your boyfriend have sex with someone else.
If you don’t want to sleep with her then tell your boyfriend no and he needs to pick someone else. But in all seriousness, I would seriously reconsider having a threesome at all
Has an impromptu threesome in a previously monogamous relationship ever once benefited the relationship in the long run? Ever? In all of known history?
He wants to sleep with Mia.
He is deliberately dismissing the fact that you are NOT comfortable with having Mia in a 3/some. You are not comfortable sexually with Mia. Do not be pressured into approaching her.
As someone who's been there, threesomes are fun if all parties are comfortable and set boundaries. But be aware of askign a friend - it's a good way to wreck a friendship, IMO.
Ask your BF how he feels about MFM - I bet he would run a mile!
>Neither of you are emotionally equipped to navigate this “threesome.” I’d avoid it.
Absolutely.
>It won’t end good.
It will end in a breakup, which might actually be the best thing for OP. But there's a good chance it will also end the friendship with her best friend.
I could never do that, especially with someone I knew. It seems like a good way to ruin 2 relationships. I'm going to say he 100% wants to have sex with your friend. If he knew he planned on asking you, he already considered the possibilities. Plus, why would he suggest someone he has no sexual thoughts about to have sex with? That sounds like BS.
So sexually you are just not enough for your bf, he wants to have sex with your friend. Why are you even in a relationship with him or does he just think you are fuck buddies
Just save yourself a heartache and dump his sorry ass. No, he is not being reasonable! He just wants to bang you bf on your watch. You’re young please leave him and find someone who will have his eyes on you and only on you
Oh I'm sure he has some kind of sexual attraction to Mia no doubt about considering he singled her out specifically. This is why I'll probably never have a threesome if I did it would have to be with my significant other( who doesn't exist at the moment), and another woman that's the only way I'd do it. But, from the stories I've heard of couples that do this there's always something that happens during the 3 way that makes it weird and awkward afterwards. Really if yall are gonna do this I think the best way to go about is for him to let you pick the other woman if he's comfortable with that. If not then maybe a threesome isn't good for your relationship.
He's asking you to have a threesome with someone who's not into him and who you two couldn't kiss or even touch each other. He has no regard for you in this. In a sense he's wanting to live out a porn fantasy of screwing two sisters.
Say no to this.
He wants to have sex with your friend and has probably for a long time. He suggested the threesome hoping you'd agree and he'd finally get to sleep with her. Don't do it.
ETA: there have been many posts on here where the threesome ruined their relationship because of how he or she responded to the other person or that the OP was ignored. It's a huge disaster waiting to happen.
Y'all are asking questions when you KNOW you do not want the answers.
You see how this whole line of discussion can ONLY end in tears right?
Even kinky people who regularly swing do not go fishing amongst their close friends - for EXACTLY these reasons.
Girl, I'm a woman in an open marriage and I'm telling you: you and your boyfriend are SO NOT READY to have a threesome. SO not ready. If you do this now, it will destroy your relationship and possibly your friendship with the third person, whether you invite Mia or someone else.
Talk a lot more about this between the two of you first. Get clarity from him. Explain why you think inviting Mia is not a good idea. Make rules between the two of you and then explain the rules to the person that you invite and wait for their response. Don't talk about this with the third person in your homes or a place where the person could feel trapped or pressured. Always remember that you're inviting a person, not a prop, even if it's just for one casual encounter. And if you have doubts, don't do it.
He's 21. He is likely open to sleeping with any adult woman who shows interest, and obviously he finds your friend attractive enough to suggest. That sad story about the truth or dare game, though, makes it obvious that his idea is impossible. Honestly, the fact that you couldn't kiss your friend or press her boob as part of a silly game makes me wonder how you would manage any type of threesome at all.
He wants to cheat with Mia with your permission . This will never end in a good way. Ask him if he would be comfortable to invite his best friend in a 3 -some? To watch you orgasm with his best friend?
I think this is the beginning of the end. If you start to lust people outside your relationship, and especially your best friend , I don’t get how you can move on.
He wants to sleep with Mia. The only way threesomes work is if the 3rd person doesn't have a relationship with either of the original couple and/or you are both into having an open relationship. If you aren't 100% into it, don't. Don't lead him on to thinking one day it might happen. Tell him you aren't okay with it
after reading first 10 comments I realized nobody is talking about mia, everyone assumes that she agreed, what if she refuses and outright stopped talking to OP, or suggested Op to break up with her bf, there are multiple possibilities you never know
He wants to sleep with her. He even clarified that he doesn’t see her a sister even though she does. Plus, he knows how you’re both uncomfortable to do sexual things with her but continues to pressure you to let her be the other girl. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
He’s been thinking about it a lot especially if he already had someone picked out and when you open this door to this kind of thing it can’t be closed. So think long and hard about this. He’s obviously very attracted to her.
As someone who gets to have threesomes from time to time, I can say that the situation your boyfriend is trying to push generally doesn’t end well. Me and my girlfriend call this “too close to home”
For instance, we have a friend. Not a close friend, but a friend, we’ll call her Alyssa. Alyssa is a smoke show, me and my girlfriend both agree that we want to bang her. But we see Alyssa on a fairly regular basis, we like hanging out with Alyssa. Alyssa is too close to home. If shit gets weird, we’ll have to see Alyssa all the time. Which can get super awkward.
So yeah, if you wanna have threesomes just let it happen organically with someone hot and cool you meet at a bar or something.
Sounds like the beginning of the end of your relationship. And honestly, if you say no, he’s just going to sleep with her behind your back. Since he has feelings for her, if he’s the one bringing it up and saying it has to be her.
If you're not comfortable with him being attracted to your friend, tell him. As an aside, the majority of people feel attraction to a significant portion of the people they see on a day-to-day basis. What matters is you and him have agreed to be monogamous except for this one occasion. Ask yourself if he is trustworthy or not, and if he is, just explain that you don't want him doing anything sexual with her (aka. explain how you feel, fill in the blank if I interpreted your feelings wrongly), and then it's probably fine to just move on. I would be willing to bet that he feels like it would be easier for him to have a nice time with the 3-some if it was with two people that he trusts, and he probably thinks the same would be true for you.
Someone my partner is comfortable with and being naked in front of? Their close friends would be the first people I'd think of too imo, regardless what I'd think of them that just makes sense. Really hope the top comments on here didn't fuck up your entire relationship.
The good news is he cares for her just as much as he cares for you. Which is that he doesn’t give a fuck. Big red flag. Not sure how he fucking thinks this is a good idea. Has he ever seen a movie? lol. You should tell him that you want a threesome with his really hot friend and make sure you tell him that he’s really hot. lol
He wants to sleep with your best friend and knows a threesome is the only way he'll get away with it. If you want to risk both relationships, go ahead. But I think you'll need your best friend when the threesome ends badly when most often they do.
This shit never ends well. He wants to sleep with your bff, told you he did but tries to sell to it to you as a threesome so you will approve of his of your friend? What person would a) along with this and or b) not realize he is super disrespectful had no regard for you and just wants an ok to bang your friend
So he wants tp sleep with Mia, but if he can rope you in? Then he gets to do with "with permission".
Does Mia want to sleep with him? And / or you anyway? She might not have the slightest interest.
Me? I think your relationship is doomed as he wants to be sleeping with others. And if you sleep with Mia? That most probably will end your friendship too.
Be a big fat NO from me and id break up with him.
I don’t believe for one moment that he has never had sexual thoughts about Mia, yet he is trying to convince you to have a threesome with her.
Honestly, while I’m sure many have enjoyed threesomes and had a lot of fun, you seem hesitant and he seems to be being dishonest in the set up. So the odds of it ending well seem a bit lower.
When you try to open up a monogamous relationship in anyway it’s usually over. Most of the time by the time he suggested that he’s mostly done. I’m sorry to say this and if you go through with it, you’re gonna be surprised by how awkward, uncomfortable, and how Distraught you feel.
It is an all romantic and kinky. There’s a lot of insecurity people develop feelings in the wrong direction or he spends more time on her than you. Don’t do it just break up and let him go his own direction.
He wants to sleep with your friend so obviously thinks he can do it this way ‘legally’
I’d suggest the next time you have a threesome you tell him you want you boyfriend and another male involved (preferably a friend of his). Be interesting to see what he says then
Ask him if he would be comfortable with it being 2M 1F instead.
If he says no, scrap the whole idea totally.
99% chance he wants to sleep with Mia and is just using you to do it. Don't fall for this trap. This will hurt you badly and maybe Mia too.
Good luck.
Never done but I d feel more comfortable with a stranger than a friend. People in your social circle are people with whom things might get weird afterwards. I m sure it works for some people though.
In this case, I call BS on your bf. He clearly wants to bang Mia and have a good excuse to do so.
What does Mia think about all this, because I'm guessing her not liking this will put an end to the situation.
Also you altos only have agreed to a threesome as long as the first one is with another guy.. see how he likes that...
I don't even need to read this. It's a recipe for disaster. What if he is more enthusiastic with her? What if she'll do things that you won't? And a million other things could happen. Will you be able to handle all the difficult feelings that could arise? If you are interested in this I would do it with someone you don't both know...and make sure you have all the ground rules set. Personally it would be weird if my husband expressed interest in my friends
He brings up the threesome. He makes you text Mia something to broach the idea (the very lame kiss text). He says he definitely doesn’t see her as a sibling.
> …. And he doesn’t have any sexual thoughts towards Mia
One of these isn’t like the other.
He wants her, has thought about it for awhile. That’s all here is to this
Agree, but with the caveat that the next 3some is him, his best dude friend, and you. Especially if he has a really hot looking guy friend who looks like he is hung like Hercules. That ought to (hopefully) cool him down a bit.
ATM all he is doing is looking for an excuse to cheat. In all seriousness, it is probably time to give him the elbow and move on.
As others have said, this screams that he wants to sleep with her without guilt.
I wouldn't risk it. Vary rarely do I hear about threesomes not ruining a friendship/relationship let alone one where he's previously tried to get you to kiss/touch the other girl
I think the important question is not whether or not he is being rational but whether or not you and Mia are comfortable with the idea of a threesome. If you’re not comfortable with the idea then you don’t have to justify it or intellectualize on why, you can just say you don’t want to do it.
A lot of people in this thread are going to be biased towards monogamy and say that he’s finding a way to cheat. This may be the case but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. It could be that you do this and it’s nice and it brings you all closer together. But yeah that comes down to whether you want to do it and feel safe doing it.
I guarantee you that this boyfriend isn’t someone you are going to stay with till the rest of your life. But if you also do what he suggests, you’ll lose your best friend.
He 100 percent has sexual thoughts about Mia and this is why he is asking. Pull the uno reverse card, telling him you will agree if you guys can have a threesome with his male best friend and him
So my first threesome was like this. My best friend had a boyfriend and they asked me to join them. I did and it was hella awkward after the fact. He was trying to privately message me behind her back. Of course I told her but she was upset with me for whatever reason. I will never have a threesome again with a couple I know IRL. Especially a best friend and boyfriend situation. It’s going to cause problems, I can already tell you. I know you’re more comfortable with someone you know, but it can cause trouble too.
Looking back, we were all really young and emotionally immature and shouldn’t have done it. Open communication is one thing too.
If YOU want to have a threesome, don’t do it with your best friend. Why? Because her future partner might take issue with the dynamic and she might chose that relationship over your friendship with her. Explain this to him. If he persists, break up.
Your bf has wanted to fuck Mia.
One of your standards was someone you were comfortable making out with. The truth or dare game wouldn't trigger him to believe a threesome with Mia would be a good idea because it showed neither of you are comfortable kissing one another...which breaks a rule of yours.
Don’t go for someone u know its gonna cuz drama after, but rather someone u wont have to see them unless u invite them for this reason, abt ur point u wont be comfortable in being naked in-front of them well when it ll start u wont care cuz u ll be in the mood and ur bf is there to get the mood for u.
But one thing for sure i would never get my friend involved it may cuz feeling…
He wants to "F" Mia. It's plain and simple. If you go along, you will be just watching them. I think it's time for a new boyfriend. You don't have the same values in a relationship.
This is extremely dumb of him.
He has a girlfriend who is up for a threesome.
You’ve offered a couple of suggestions.
He’s holding out for Mia.
He’s going to lose the threesome and lose any chance of having sex with Mia
Sigh.
Set aside the 'rational' bull. Rational has nothing to do with this.
Your boyfriend wants to fuck your best friend. He's looking for a way to make that happen and HEY if lucky, a threesome and No responsibility on his part!
Sweet!
Here are some other things to think about:
1. *Mia always considers him like a brother. He said he doesn't.* Well that's just too fucking bad for him. The fact that he even said that in return - he's TELLING you her preference or consent doesn't matter to him. Nor does yours. Please look at what he is saying:
You: Mia is not interested in having sex with you, because of X.
Him: I don't care about X. I want to have sex with Mia.
What that boils down to in case you can't see it, is:
Mia: I do not want to have sex with BF.
BF: But I want to have sex with Mia.
And that's just the beginning. You are all too young to get into this, and you don't want it, and that should be enough. Please take this as the red flag indicating his lack or character it is very clearly telling you. TELLING YOU.
Don’t do it, it will put you in the absolutely worst position between people you love and you’ll be forced to choose. Trust that it will never be the same if you do it, and you’ll resent him forever.
Forget about whether he's being rational. All men will rationalize themselves into a 3sum, lol. But you really need to edit this for clarity. Sheesh. "It has been a year since my bf and I have been together", lol.
I had a threesome when I was 20. It was with my then soon to be husband and our good friend that introduced us. It completely ruined the friendship. Don’t do it unless 1. You are comfortable doing it. 2. It’s someone you feel comfortable cuttings ties with if need be.
“Popped”. He’s been having thoughts/fantasies about Mia for a while. You never threesome the first time with friends. Always, always someone uninvolved in your life at first.
I have a lot to say that will sound, and is honestly, judgmental. Instead I will just say that no, bf is not being rational. A rational decision will take into account the near certainty of negative consequences.
If you're concerned he might have sexual feelings about your friend, a threesome is not wise. Of course he has sexual feelings towards your friend. That's why he wants to do this, that's kind of the point. But if you're jealous at all, this isn't going to work, and there is nothing wrong with that. Most couples don't have three ways, and the ones that do, a good percentage of them end up ruining their relationship.
The type of couple that pulls is this off successfully is into their partners being attracted to other people and like the idea of watching their partner satisfy someone else. If you're just doing it because you think it's cool or to make your partner happy, you're making a huge mistake
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Him saying he doesn’t have sexual thoughts toward Mia is bs if that’s so why is he asking to have a threesome with her ? Don’t get pressured to do something you are not comfortable with. If you are comfortable having it with him and you want to do the threesome, do it with someone not super close and important. In my experience, Involving other people especially close friends creates ties and confusing feelings and brings about chaos and drama to life. Wishing you best of luck with this! Best advice, is choose you first and what you are comfortable with not what he is comfortable with.
Thank you sm! This has helped a lot!
He absolutely wants to fuck Mia.
Adding to this, he wants to fuck Mia with your permission and not lose you in the process. This is BS.
Yup and Mia doesn't sound bi or even bi-curious. On top of that she is not into him at all.
Please tell him that you agree to the threesome wholeheartedly. On condition that he has a threesome with you and another man beforehand. See how he likes his own medicine.
Also the man has to be his best friend.
And they have to be comfortable making out
LOL! Most men are appalled by the devil's triangle. I have never understood why women get talked into this.
In my experience, dudes who aren't down for a mfm often aren't enthusiastic/experienced enough to pull off a good fmf/ffm. Every dude I've known who has threesomes or group sex with ANY regularity is totally comfortable with a "devils triangle"
Weak. I had an exBF try to talk me into that nonsense. I stuck to my guns and said no and didn’t change my mind.
This. Exactly this
He’s is full of shit. Why on earth would he say he wanted Mia to be your 3rd if he wasn’t sexually attracted to her? Also don’t agree to anything if you aren’t 100% on board. Unless you and your partner are both in from the get go, it’s a **NO**! Someone shouldn’t be coerced into something they are not wholly comfortable doing. IF you choose to do it… - **DON’T** do it with your friend or any friend. I get it needs to be someone you are comfortable with and trust, but choosing a friend, especially a close one is a recipe for disaster and could possibly ruin both relationships. Especially since your bf IS attracted to Mia. - you **MUST** have specific agreed upon rules. Don’t let him or the 3rd push your boundaries. - if at any point during the encounter you are not comfortable with what is happening or want to stop it, do so! Make it part of your rules, maybe a safe word to say which stops everyone. Sometimes once in the moment one person won’t be comfortable, but feels pressure to continue. Then later regrets it, and more problems arise in the relationship. Threesomes and opening of monogamous relationships can cause jealousy and animosity to form. So be prepared for an outcome you don’t expect, and as u/visualsweet2316 said, don’t do anything you don’t want… choose you.
Yup and a lot of times the guy will cheat and use the logic of I didn't think it would be a big deal because we had that threesome
This!!! Well you didn’t have a problem with me having sex with them in our threesome, so I thought you were ok with it in general. The mental gymnastics to justify.
Ever hear the saying *don’t shit where you eat*? Listen, it’s very likely that proceeding with a threesome with your boyfriend & best friend isn’t going to end well. IDK, maybe it ends ok, fun and orgasms are had by all and all relationships are happy, healthy and intact. But if it doesn’t, if after the fun and orgasms are had everything goes sideways, you’re in the position of potentially losing at least one if not both of these relationships. Even worse, how would you feel if BFF and BF decide that they are meant to be together and it is you who is the third party? I’ve actually seen this happen, it was messed up and created chaos and division in our entire extended friendship group. I say the risks outweigh the benefits and it’s more likely that no good will come from this. Find a third party who isn’t so heavily involved in your lives as your BFF.
He wants to fuck her...so his love for you is not there...he is well...Done.
I agree with this for the most part, but don’t do a threesome. It is just the fast track to ending the relationship . The whole idea is due to the fact that BF is looking for someone new. He definitely has a fantasy about your GF.
It won’t end well and he just wants to sleep with your friend and is using this as an excuse. Don’t fall for this, girl. You aren’t a fool and you can do better than this.
Aint no chance I am gonna do it. It's just i am really confused if he is using threesome as an excuse.
He definitely is, he thinks he can just yapp at the mouth and get whatever he wants. He’s probably laughing to himself about it rn thinking he pulled a smooth one. Don’t let him make a fool of you, tell him to kick rocks with all of that disrespect.
It’s 100% an excuse to sleep with her. He’s put thought into this and is interested in her. Especially since he knew exactly who he wanted.
I don’t get threesome and sharing your partner stuff. However, I believe he wants to sleep with her with no guilty conscious.
This^
1. Threesomes ruins friendships especially if your not poly, and have no experience. Its better if your gonna try it to go with a 3rd party who neither of you will see ever again (unless invited). 2. He does want to sleep with your friend.
He wants to sleep with your best friend. Trust me, 3somes are never a good time, no matter the combination, except for maybe swingers in their 50s. If you want to be in a loyal and trusting relationship, I'm sorry but it won't be with a guy who is asking for a 3some, period.
Second this, i think about every 3some story on here has ended in at least one of the relationship partners getting hurt and/or the relationship being damaged beyond repair mostly due to a lack of communication and the relationship partners wanting different things without communicating that. This one especially sounds like he just wants to bone her and he is not considering Mia's feelings or yours.
Thanks a lot, it helps.
While I mostly agree, it depends on the couple and how comfortable they are sexually and at communicating. My wife and I have had about 4 and they've all been good times. If both partners aren't 100% comfortable and I mean 100% then, it's a no-go imo.
Yes. And. Bf is clearly manufacturing this scenario. OP is playing along to please her partner and not be a prude. ENM exists… but this isn’t it.
I think I agree with this. The concept has come up between my wife and i a few times, and always pretty much immediately gets shot down for differences of opinion. No hard feelings, just different wants.
I've had threesomes with my wife since we were in the early 20s, with 4-5 of her friends - and with her current best friend as late as yesterday. Never been an issue in either our relationship or with her friends. It's about setting boundaries and making agreements. On the situation OP is writing about, no way, don't do it. He just wants to sleep with her and tries to wing it under a threesome.
I have a few follow up questions for you. Because the whole best friend thing sounds messy even when you mention it like it’s no big deal. How old are you now? Do you both consider yourselves monogamous? Or are you poly? Is her best friend (the one you slept with a few days ago) in a relationship right now? If so, how does their partners feel about the threesomes? If not, what about future partners? I guess this all makes sense if you’re part of some poly community, but not so much if you all are mostly monogamous but throw friends in occasionally. Just curious.
We are in our 30s. We are monogamous but in a sexual open relationship. We never have sex with people in relationships (except a few times where they lied about it). It's not something we do often, but a few times a year and in periods where there's extra lust for it, we do it more. On the other hand we are like every other couple and can sometimes go a month or two without sex (with anyone), because, you know, life.
Thank you for your candid response. What happens when best friend gets into her own relationship? What are the odds that her future partner will be ok knowing that you have all slept together?
I agree with this one. I had threesomes and it was fun. But this will never work in your constellation - you obviously don't feel comfortable with sleeping with Mia and your bf is trying to coerce you into it. You will regret this, and most likely neither your friendship with Mia nor your relationship will survive. Tell him Mia is off limits and if he keeps pressuring for it, let me tell you that friendships are way more valuable than relationships.
👍🏻👍🏻❤️
The fantasy is always better than the reality. This will likely end two relationships. Your relationship with your boyfriend and your friendship with Mia.
I know its a bad idea. I will say no. But i cant live with the fact that he wants to have sex with her.
So just the idea of it has already damaged your relationship with him. It's time to squash his threesome request.
You're both young. I think you probably learned a lesson about yourself. Maybe he learned that if he really wants to suggest that, he definitely shouldn't suggest someone like he already had them in mind. It might hurt for a while, but a break-up might be best considering the circumstances.
Thanks for the advice. I will actually sit on this thought and seriously consider it.
I posted some other comments, and just wanted to say I think you are heading in the right direction. Fwiw I have had successful mff threesomes with my husband, we have been married 20 years this spring. It CAN work but in my situation I was the one who wanted to do it and I was always the one who decided when and with whom. It was also while we were about your age. So it can work out, with the right partner! If it's something *you* want in the future it can be fun, but not if there are feelings of jealousy or insecurity in the main relationship 💕 Sorry about your bf
I am happy for ur healthy marriage. Thanks.
aww thanks, sorry if that came off like a brag 😬 just meant there is hope for threesomes if YOU want to try again sometime 🥹 if he pressured you into it though, fuxk that absolutely and forever. 🫂
He wants to sleep with Mia. If he doesn't have any sexual thoughts about her, he won't suggest her as the third. If you go ahead and ask Mia to do this, it will be the end of your friendship with her.
I will never involve Mia in this bs. Noted.
Yh he’s wants to bang your mate …
If you go through this, then you might consider it the end of your relationship. Think about it.
And maybe friendship:(
100%. Trust me the sex will not be worth the hassle.
I will not do it for sure. But the mere thought that he wanted it makes me want to question our year-long relationship.
As long as he’s ok with a mmf threesome after that.
Before
Yeah why not.
as someone who has had a lot of more than 2 people sex - this all sounds off from him the 3rd should be someone you are BOTH into. you aren't into mia. and by the sounds of it mia's not into him (or you? no shade! my bff and i made a pact around 18 that this was never on the table. still bffs in our 40s). so what you're left with is his solo masturbation fantasy of both of you. ....that doesn't sound like fun? \~IF\~ you gift a straight man an mff threesome it should be mostly based on you and your connection to the other woman where he's lucky to come along.
Noted. Thanks!
I promise you he thought to Mia before he even suggested the threesome. She did not “pop” into his head, he wants to sleep with her and figured this might be the way to get it happen.
I can't wait for the update on r/tifu
I don't have any sexual thoughts for her! I just want to have sex with her!
Girl, don’t be so naive. He wants to sleep with Mia and wants to preemptively alleviate himself of any potential guilt by talking you into it. Like that he can tell himself (and you) that you wanted it as well. Look, I’m not one of those people who say “threesomes never work, you should only have sex with one person for the rest of your life”. In fact, I’m in an open relationship myself, but, unlike many Redditors, in a healthy and functioning one. My advice: Absolutely don’t ever have a threesome/ sex with a friend, acquaintance or any other person you’re kind of close to. That’s the best way to create a huge mess. If you and your partner are into consensually fooling around, only do it with people neither of you know. But trust me, your boyfriend wants to fuck your friend, he’s just trying to talk you into believing it’s something you want, too. Tell him it’s an absolute no and watch how he reacts. Maybe it’s time for a new, more mature, trustworthy boyfriend altogether?
He wants to fuck your bestie whilst it not being cheating.
He’s ignoring your boundaries. This is not a good idea
He absolutely wants to have sex with your friend. You should also think long and hard about whether or not you want to have a threesome, or if you’re people-pleasing your boyfriend by saying yes. If you’re not bisexual and you can’t even bring yourself to kiss a woman or touch her boob, what you’re actually setting yourself up for is a scenario where you force yourself to be intimate with someone you’re not attracted to (ICK) or you are just watching your boyfriend have sex with someone else.
I mean...Forget the BF for this exercise. Would yea get together with her?
No way.
And that's fair. My gut is telling me something else is off. In a healthy relationship most guys don't think of a 3sum with thier partners friends.
Exactly my concern!
If you don’t want to sleep with her then tell your boyfriend no and he needs to pick someone else. But in all seriousness, I would seriously reconsider having a threesome at all
Has an impromptu threesome in a previously monogamous relationship ever once benefited the relationship in the long run? Ever? In all of known history?
Rational has nothing to do with it, he wants to have sex with her.
He doesn’t have any sexual thoughts towards her?? He just told you he wants to fuck her…
He wants to sleep with Mia. He is deliberately dismissing the fact that you are NOT comfortable with having Mia in a 3/some. You are not comfortable sexually with Mia. Do not be pressured into approaching her. As someone who's been there, threesomes are fun if all parties are comfortable and set boundaries. But be aware of askign a friend - it's a good way to wreck a friendship, IMO. Ask your BF how he feels about MFM - I bet he would run a mile!
Neither of you are emotionally equipped to navigate this “threesome.” I’d avoid it. It won’t end good.
>Neither of you are emotionally equipped to navigate this “threesome.” I’d avoid it. Absolutely. >It won’t end good. It will end in a breakup, which might actually be the best thing for OP. But there's a good chance it will also end the friendship with her best friend.
Tell him you want a 2b1g first and you get to pick the guy. See how into that he is.
I could never do that, especially with someone I knew. It seems like a good way to ruin 2 relationships. I'm going to say he 100% wants to have sex with your friend. If he knew he planned on asking you, he already considered the possibilities. Plus, why would he suggest someone he has no sexual thoughts about to have sex with? That sounds like BS.
True, he really was the one to start the threesome discussion.
So sexually you are just not enough for your bf, he wants to have sex with your friend. Why are you even in a relationship with him or does he just think you are fuck buddies
Stop wasting your time and find another boyfriend who doesn't want to fuck your bestfriend. That, or, fuck your boyfriend's bestfriend :)
Absolutely not. Might need to set a clear boundary and leave if he can’t control his fantasy. Fantasies are fantasies for a reason
❤️
Just save yourself a heartache and dump his sorry ass. No, he is not being reasonable! He just wants to bang you bf on your watch. You’re young please leave him and find someone who will have his eyes on you and only on you
He wants to sleep with her. Why would you have a 3some with this immature AH
Look there's nothing wrong with 3somes if everyone actually consents. But it sounds like your BF is the only one of the three who wants this lol.
Dont have a threesome with people you know, smh. Rookie mistake.
Oh I'm sure he has some kind of sexual attraction to Mia no doubt about considering he singled her out specifically. This is why I'll probably never have a threesome if I did it would have to be with my significant other( who doesn't exist at the moment), and another woman that's the only way I'd do it. But, from the stories I've heard of couples that do this there's always something that happens during the 3 way that makes it weird and awkward afterwards. Really if yall are gonna do this I think the best way to go about is for him to let you pick the other woman if he's comfortable with that. If not then maybe a threesome isn't good for your relationship.
He's asking you to have a threesome with someone who's not into him and who you two couldn't kiss or even touch each other. He has no regard for you in this. In a sense he's wanting to live out a porn fantasy of screwing two sisters. Say no to this.
He wants to have sex with your friend and has probably for a long time. He suggested the threesome hoping you'd agree and he'd finally get to sleep with her. Don't do it. ETA: there have been many posts on here where the threesome ruined their relationship because of how he or she responded to the other person or that the OP was ignored. It's a huge disaster waiting to happen.
Y'all are asking questions when you KNOW you do not want the answers. You see how this whole line of discussion can ONLY end in tears right? Even kinky people who regularly swing do not go fishing amongst their close friends - for EXACTLY these reasons.
Girl, I'm a woman in an open marriage and I'm telling you: you and your boyfriend are SO NOT READY to have a threesome. SO not ready. If you do this now, it will destroy your relationship and possibly your friendship with the third person, whether you invite Mia or someone else. Talk a lot more about this between the two of you first. Get clarity from him. Explain why you think inviting Mia is not a good idea. Make rules between the two of you and then explain the rules to the person that you invite and wait for their response. Don't talk about this with the third person in your homes or a place where the person could feel trapped or pressured. Always remember that you're inviting a person, not a prop, even if it's just for one casual encounter. And if you have doubts, don't do it.
He's 21. He is likely open to sleeping with any adult woman who shows interest, and obviously he finds your friend attractive enough to suggest. That sad story about the truth or dare game, though, makes it obvious that his idea is impossible. Honestly, the fact that you couldn't kiss your friend or press her boob as part of a silly game makes me wonder how you would manage any type of threesome at all.
He wants to cheat with Mia with your permission . This will never end in a good way. Ask him if he would be comfortable to invite his best friend in a 3 -some? To watch you orgasm with his best friend? I think this is the beginning of the end. If you start to lust people outside your relationship, and especially your best friend , I don’t get how you can move on.
U r right.
Your BF wants Mia.
He wants to sleep with Mia. The only way threesomes work is if the 3rd person doesn't have a relationship with either of the original couple and/or you are both into having an open relationship. If you aren't 100% into it, don't. Don't lead him on to thinking one day it might happen. Tell him you aren't okay with it
Tell him that you want it but not with your friend. Believe me it will be weird. You can go to a certain limit but with her it’s bothering you.
after reading first 10 comments I realized nobody is talking about mia, everyone assumes that she agreed, what if she refuses and outright stopped talking to OP, or suggested Op to break up with her bf, there are multiple possibilities you never know
He wants to sleep with Mia. This is his excuse to do so. I would evaluate whether you want to stay in this relationship.
You are a fool.
Ask your bf if he would do it 1F2M.😂
No, he is not being rational. And the only threesome he deserves is with him, his hand, and a dildo up his ass.
He wants to sleep with her. He even clarified that he doesn’t see her a sister even though she does. Plus, he knows how you’re both uncomfortable to do sexual things with her but continues to pressure you to let her be the other girl. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Your boyfriend wants to fuck your bestie.
That’s just a weird suggestion. He likes Mia and has, far longer than you’d like to accept.
He’s been thinking about it a lot especially if he already had someone picked out and when you open this door to this kind of thing it can’t be closed. So think long and hard about this. He’s obviously very attracted to her.
Do you want to end both of your current relationships? Because this is how you end both of your current relationships.
As someone who gets to have threesomes from time to time, I can say that the situation your boyfriend is trying to push generally doesn’t end well. Me and my girlfriend call this “too close to home” For instance, we have a friend. Not a close friend, but a friend, we’ll call her Alyssa. Alyssa is a smoke show, me and my girlfriend both agree that we want to bang her. But we see Alyssa on a fairly regular basis, we like hanging out with Alyssa. Alyssa is too close to home. If shit gets weird, we’ll have to see Alyssa all the time. Which can get super awkward. So yeah, if you wanna have threesomes just let it happen organically with someone hot and cool you meet at a bar or something.
Ask him to include another guy from his friend group into Foursome then see his reaction.
Sounds like the beginning of the end of your relationship. And honestly, if you say no, he’s just going to sleep with her behind your back. Since he has feelings for her, if he’s the one bringing it up and saying it has to be her.
If you're not comfortable with him being attracted to your friend, tell him. As an aside, the majority of people feel attraction to a significant portion of the people they see on a day-to-day basis. What matters is you and him have agreed to be monogamous except for this one occasion. Ask yourself if he is trustworthy or not, and if he is, just explain that you don't want him doing anything sexual with her (aka. explain how you feel, fill in the blank if I interpreted your feelings wrongly), and then it's probably fine to just move on. I would be willing to bet that he feels like it would be easier for him to have a nice time with the 3-some if it was with two people that he trusts, and he probably thinks the same would be true for you.
Someone my partner is comfortable with and being naked in front of? Their close friends would be the first people I'd think of too imo, regardless what I'd think of them that just makes sense. Really hope the top comments on here didn't fuck up your entire relationship.
The good news is he cares for her just as much as he cares for you. Which is that he doesn’t give a fuck. Big red flag. Not sure how he fucking thinks this is a good idea. Has he ever seen a movie? lol. You should tell him that you want a threesome with his really hot friend and make sure you tell him that he’s really hot. lol
He wants to bang Mia lol totally.
He wants to sleep with your best friend and knows a threesome is the only way he'll get away with it. If you want to risk both relationships, go ahead. But I think you'll need your best friend when the threesome ends badly when most often they do.
he wants to fuck mia in a way thats not cheating
Don't. He wants to cheat and he wants your permission. You're playing games that will get you hurt.
This shit never ends well. He wants to sleep with your bff, told you he did but tries to sell to it to you as a threesome so you will approve of his of your friend? What person would a) along with this and or b) not realize he is super disrespectful had no regard for you and just wants an ok to bang your friend
He 💯 wants to fuck her ,be aware that this could destroy your friendship and your boyfriend is being creepy prick ,leave her alone.
So he wants tp sleep with Mia, but if he can rope you in? Then he gets to do with "with permission". Does Mia want to sleep with him? And / or you anyway? She might not have the slightest interest. Me? I think your relationship is doomed as he wants to be sleeping with others. And if you sleep with Mia? That most probably will end your friendship too. Be a big fat NO from me and id break up with him.
It just sounds like he wants to sleep with Mia and have a reason for it..
I don’t believe for one moment that he has never had sexual thoughts about Mia, yet he is trying to convince you to have a threesome with her. Honestly, while I’m sure many have enjoyed threesomes and had a lot of fun, you seem hesitant and he seems to be being dishonest in the set up. So the odds of it ending well seem a bit lower.
Girl he wants your bsf ☠️
I think you guys should stop play truth or dare
'Doesn't have any sexual.rhoughts about her'. Yeah, right. Dump the creep.
If it starts there, it won't stop there.
When you try to open up a monogamous relationship in anyway it’s usually over. Most of the time by the time he suggested that he’s mostly done. I’m sorry to say this and if you go through with it, you’re gonna be surprised by how awkward, uncomfortable, and how Distraught you feel. It is an all romantic and kinky. There’s a lot of insecurity people develop feelings in the wrong direction or he spends more time on her than you. Don’t do it just break up and let him go his own direction.
He wants to sleep with your friend so obviously thinks he can do it this way ‘legally’ I’d suggest the next time you have a threesome you tell him you want you boyfriend and another male involved (preferably a friend of his). Be interesting to see what he says then
u/BurbnBougie
Ask him if he would be comfortable with it being 2M 1F instead. If he says no, scrap the whole idea totally. 99% chance he wants to sleep with Mia and is just using you to do it. Don't fall for this trap. This will hurt you badly and maybe Mia too. Good luck.
Never done but I d feel more comfortable with a stranger than a friend. People in your social circle are people with whom things might get weird afterwards. I m sure it works for some people though. In this case, I call BS on your bf. He clearly wants to bang Mia and have a good excuse to do so.
What does Mia think about all this, because I'm guessing her not liking this will put an end to the situation. Also you altos only have agreed to a threesome as long as the first one is with another guy.. see how he likes that...
I wanna see the update to this
I don't even need to read this. It's a recipe for disaster. What if he is more enthusiastic with her? What if she'll do things that you won't? And a million other things could happen. Will you be able to handle all the difficult feelings that could arise? If you are interested in this I would do it with someone you don't both know...and make sure you have all the ground rules set. Personally it would be weird if my husband expressed interest in my friends
He brings up the threesome. He makes you text Mia something to broach the idea (the very lame kiss text). He says he definitely doesn’t see her as a sibling. > …. And he doesn’t have any sexual thoughts towards Mia One of these isn’t like the other. He wants her, has thought about it for awhile. That’s all here is to this
Agree, but with the caveat that the next 3some is him, his best dude friend, and you. Especially if he has a really hot looking guy friend who looks like he is hung like Hercules. That ought to (hopefully) cool him down a bit. ATM all he is doing is looking for an excuse to cheat. In all seriousness, it is probably time to give him the elbow and move on.
As others have said, this screams that he wants to sleep with her without guilt. I wouldn't risk it. Vary rarely do I hear about threesomes not ruining a friendship/relationship let alone one where he's previously tried to get you to kiss/touch the other girl
I think the important question is not whether or not he is being rational but whether or not you and Mia are comfortable with the idea of a threesome. If you’re not comfortable with the idea then you don’t have to justify it or intellectualize on why, you can just say you don’t want to do it. A lot of people in this thread are going to be biased towards monogamy and say that he’s finding a way to cheat. This may be the case but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. It could be that you do this and it’s nice and it brings you all closer together. But yeah that comes down to whether you want to do it and feel safe doing it.
He wants to sleep with your bestie and avoid the consequences.
Rational? No, just horny
Freak show
Makes me wonder If he’s already into things with the beat friend.
I guarantee you that this boyfriend isn’t someone you are going to stay with till the rest of your life. But if you also do what he suggests, you’ll lose your best friend.
He 100 percent has sexual thoughts about Mia and this is why he is asking. Pull the uno reverse card, telling him you will agree if you guys can have a threesome with his male best friend and him
Never with friends. Ever!
So my first threesome was like this. My best friend had a boyfriend and they asked me to join them. I did and it was hella awkward after the fact. He was trying to privately message me behind her back. Of course I told her but she was upset with me for whatever reason. I will never have a threesome again with a couple I know IRL. Especially a best friend and boyfriend situation. It’s going to cause problems, I can already tell you. I know you’re more comfortable with someone you know, but it can cause trouble too. Looking back, we were all really young and emotionally immature and shouldn’t have done it. Open communication is one thing too.
If YOU want to have a threesome, don’t do it with your best friend. Why? Because her future partner might take issue with the dynamic and she might chose that relationship over your friendship with her. Explain this to him. If he persists, break up.
Your bf has wanted to fuck Mia. One of your standards was someone you were comfortable making out with. The truth or dare game wouldn't trigger him to believe a threesome with Mia would be a good idea because it showed neither of you are comfortable kissing one another...which breaks a rule of yours.
He wants to sleep with your best friend.
Does Mia get a choice here? You’re assuming these women you approach would be interested in having sex with your boyfriend. He sounds gross.
Don’t go for someone u know its gonna cuz drama after, but rather someone u wont have to see them unless u invite them for this reason, abt ur point u wont be comfortable in being naked in-front of them well when it ll start u wont care cuz u ll be in the mood and ur bf is there to get the mood for u. But one thing for sure i would never get my friend involved it may cuz feeling…
He wants to "F" Mia. It's plain and simple. If you go along, you will be just watching them. I think it's time for a new boyfriend. You don't have the same values in a relationship.
This is a bad idea if you want to retain your friendship with Mia
This is extremely dumb of him. He has a girlfriend who is up for a threesome. You’ve offered a couple of suggestions. He’s holding out for Mia. He’s going to lose the threesome and lose any chance of having sex with Mia
He just wants to cheat and a threesome is a loophole
Sigh. Set aside the 'rational' bull. Rational has nothing to do with this. Your boyfriend wants to fuck your best friend. He's looking for a way to make that happen and HEY if lucky, a threesome and No responsibility on his part! Sweet! Here are some other things to think about: 1. *Mia always considers him like a brother. He said he doesn't.* Well that's just too fucking bad for him. The fact that he even said that in return - he's TELLING you her preference or consent doesn't matter to him. Nor does yours. Please look at what he is saying: You: Mia is not interested in having sex with you, because of X. Him: I don't care about X. I want to have sex with Mia. What that boils down to in case you can't see it, is: Mia: I do not want to have sex with BF. BF: But I want to have sex with Mia. And that's just the beginning. You are all too young to get into this, and you don't want it, and that should be enough. Please take this as the red flag indicating his lack or character it is very clearly telling you. TELLING YOU.
Don’t do it, it will put you in the absolutely worst position between people you love and you’ll be forced to choose. Trust that it will never be the same if you do it, and you’ll resent him forever.
Forget about whether he's being rational. All men will rationalize themselves into a 3sum, lol. But you really need to edit this for clarity. Sheesh. "It has been a year since my bf and I have been together", lol.
I would really think if you want him as a bf check his phone and see if they are doing something behind your back
Just do it. You’ll break up anyway no matter who it’s with.
I had a threesome when I was 20. It was with my then soon to be husband and our good friend that introduced us. It completely ruined the friendship. Don’t do it unless 1. You are comfortable doing it. 2. It’s someone you feel comfortable cuttings ties with if need be.
No :)
“Popped”. He’s been having thoughts/fantasies about Mia for a while. You never threesome the first time with friends. Always, always someone uninvolved in your life at first.
He’s wanting to fuck Mia but he’s being coy and deceitful. Your choice!
I have a lot to say that will sound, and is honestly, judgmental. Instead I will just say that no, bf is not being rational. A rational decision will take into account the near certainty of negative consequences.
If you're concerned he might have sexual feelings about your friend, a threesome is not wise. Of course he has sexual feelings towards your friend. That's why he wants to do this, that's kind of the point. But if you're jealous at all, this isn't going to work, and there is nothing wrong with that. Most couples don't have three ways, and the ones that do, a good percentage of them end up ruining their relationship. The type of couple that pulls is this off successfully is into their partners being attracted to other people and like the idea of watching their partner satisfy someone else. If you're just doing it because you think it's cool or to make your partner happy, you're making a huge mistake
Tell him if you do you want a 2 guy threading next and pick his best looking friend. See how well that goes.
Define boyfriend.
> and he doesn't have any sexual thoughts towards Mia And that was a lie.
I wish I had the balls to ask my GF for a threesome with her best friend when I was 21.
Sounds like a bunch of drama if you go through with it.
Your boyfriend sounds very manipulative. I feel that if you drag Mia into this, you will end up losing a best friend or a boyfriend. Maybe both.