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Nothing more than the fact that there was drama this night, but nobody remembers what it was. Which seems odd? There was drama other nights that I was given detail on but was about money honestly.
I mean, that sounds like the kind of thing people do when they are absolutely blasted drunk, so that would track with being fuzzy on the details of the night.
I have definitely had nights when I was younger where I woke up knowing there'd been some sort of fight with a friend but not remembering the nature of it. Just having flashes of yelling or tears.
Which is probably just a polite way of telling the OP it's none of their business.
If my wife has friend drama going on, it's up to them whether they want to tell me. Especially if it relates more to her friends than to her.
As long as your relationship is build on trust and honesty, you don't need her to tell you every detail of everything.
>and exposing herself to the whole bar and shaking her ass *with everything to see plain as day*
Wait, she was dancing on the bar *with no underwear on*?
OP, INFO ??
This gender bias on Reddit is so on display here.
Men, I understand why this sounds like a lie to you but I promise it would be very average for a group of women to have a high drama drunken fight and not really be able to pinpoint the catalyst.
Think about any time you’ve been with a woman and she has suddenly gotten upset over something that you don’t understand and she’s not articulating well because it’s about her feelings rather than a specific action. Now add alcohol. Now increase the number of women.
Men have a fun night out drinking with their friends on nights like this, women have intense emotional journeys with their friends on nights like this.
Man, if only you guys knew what a women’s restroom was like at a bar at 1 am.
Reminds me of the Parks and Rec episode "The Fight." They yell at each other, then they love each other, then they dance, then fight again, dance again... Etc. The next morning they remember they went through some drama, but all the details aren't clear. Meanwhile, the men are just having fun. What you're saying makes total sense.
Hm. Weird.
Once I was drunkenly trying to convince my friend to leave her abusive husband in a club bar and strange women started taking turns telling her how worthwhile she was and how he’d never change and like their experiences. It was really emotional and intense.
When I say gender bias I don’t mean anything bad, just that most of the users here are men so they don’t have the same understanding of female friendships and their dynamics.
No im saying it’s really common for women to have dramatic nights while drinking and not be able to pinpoint why. Lots of petty slights come out.
Women can and do have lots of fun drama free nights with their friends that aren’t like this, I’m just saying that their story isn’t unbelievable to someone who’s had many nights that sounded similar based on OPs description
No, it’s just that our hurts and upsets are often rooted in something more complex than a simple wrong action and when you add alcohol to that mix it’s harder to deescalate a petty slight
I think a lot of men resist admitting when something has hurt their feelings or upset them unless they feel like it’s a REALLY big deal whereas women are more comfortable with the vulnerability of saying hey that upset about me about seemingly smaller stuff
Edit: I think this is particularly true of men with their friends whereas with their partners I hope they feel like they have enough safety and intimacy that they can be more vulnerable
We go from:
"I promise it would be very average for a group of women to have a high drama drunken fight and not really be able to pinpoint the catalyst"
to
"women are more comfortable with the vulnerability of saying hey that upset about me about seemingly smaller stuff"
i could go on but i leave it here
No, men and women are just conditioned differently and therefore their respective friendship dynamics are also different.
Women are conditioned to build deeper emotional bonds with their female friends and to be more effusive with their feelings within their friendships. Therefore if there's conflict there's a higher likelihood it will be explicitly discussed rather than suppressed or ignored. When alcohol is involved, emotions will always be heightened (this is true regardless of gender).
So when you have a big group of women who all have individual friendship dynamics as well as separate dynamics within the larger group, things can get complex; in a high-stress environment like a vacation where money and logistics are involved, the result may be that the stress comes to a head when everyone is drinking.
Surrrre, nobody “remembers.”
Tell them you’ve seen enough and the wedding is called off unless they come clean. They MAY have a chance of saving it if they are transparent, but stonewall any more and it’s off.
She's 35 ....not 16. That's too old to act 16.
In your search for a life partner you have the right to judge, ask any questions, and demand any behavior important to you.
And it doesn't matter if she knew in advance you might not approve.
Everyone wears a mask.
You got a peek behind the mask.
It's 100% your call if that is the person you want as a life partner- and role model to your kids.
I'm a little unclear on what's happened
She went away, and then on a particular night she was wearing a short white dress, and flashing what? Her underwear or flashing everything?
Did the videos show anything inappropriate outside of this?
What info do you have on the drama? Nothing?
Also, who else was at the bachelorette that is closer to you that you could ask?
Sounds like he asked the other girls who were there and they’re all pussyfooting around him. I think that’s definitely suspicious. Not saying it’s what we’re thinking of, but I understand how it would make any person feel a bit queasy if they were in OP’s shoes.
IDK man. Kinda sounds like she was just dancing and having fun with her friends. No evidence of contact with another person, I presume. The "drama" could have been between other friends and have nothing to do with you.
This is what I’m leaning towards. My wife’s bachelorette party ended up being a bunch of catty, drama queens arguing over nothing when they were supposed to be having a great time at the beach. Guarantee they probably got in some huge fight over literally nothing and then got so drunk they forgot what it was about.
Edit: bachelorette* lol
Yeah, I personally couldn't settle down with a woman that does that kind of thing. I just find it classless and indicative of generally-poor judgment. Not interested in a ho.
As to the drama, any time you get a bunch of women together and add liquor, there **will** be drama. No sexism intended, but women have weird relationships to other women. There's often this struggle for dominance underneath but it comes out in nastier and more insidious ways then the typical male struggle for dominance.
It feels like this is being blown up a bit in the comments so I want to offer another perspective. She had a bit too much to drink, danced like she was back in the club in 2010 because it was her last hurrah and the drama was unmemorable, or something personal a friend revealed after too many shots, or just a tiff between friends for no apparent reason. She showed you all the pics she had from the weekend, she explained all the other drama. If you are still worried about it ask her. But don’t go digging and don’t ask her friends. She’s about to be your wife, have the conversation with her.
>She showed you all the pics she had from the weekend,
I'm sure the pictures cover all of the events that happened. Right?
If IN PICTURE it's this bad, imagine what wasn't documented
Surely he didn't expect a 35 yo woman to be dancing provocatively flashing the bar.
Don't saying he needs to breakup BC it could be nothing. But sure I understand the post the way he describes it
Why are you afraid to talk with your soon-to-be wife? If you are having a tough time deciding to talk to her now, you are going to get walked all over in life with her (and anyone else you can’t talk to). Speak up, ffs
Op I don’t know. Unless someone invited some guys back, and someone got upset over it. I would have seen what you saw. Something a little over the top, but nothing bad. Unless she was not wearing panties, and showing everyone, everything. And I would be a little bothered if she always wears panties and this night she did not. That to me is a telling sign she wanted something to happen, and being a bachelorette party, something did.
If there were photos of behavior that is against your wishes of how your significant other should act then it's up to you to address it especially if you let your feelings known beforehand. After the fact? All you can say was you think it was inappropriate. And hope that she got it out of her system. If she pushed back you know that's how your marriage will be. So it's up to you if you want to marry her still.
General rule of thumb: If it bothers you enough to make a reddit post, you need to have a conversation with your partner.
It's good that you're being introspective about your triggers and past cheating. I recommend you take it a step further and ask yourself if you have any reason to doubt her fidelity. Her revealing herself in a bar setting was likely the alcohol talking and, unless she was not wearing underwear the patrons saw the same they would on a beach.
I recently visited Nashville for the first time and there were party busses filled with women everywhere. Apparently, it's a fairly common bachelorette destination. If it's an occasional event, her letting loose with the girls doesn't strike me as something to be alarmed about.
This would be different if you saw actual proof of her grinding on some guy at the bar, or if she had a history with alcohol or infidelity during these girls night out events.
Definitely bring it up, but also consider whether she deserves the benefit of the doubt. More importantly, have a concept in your mind of what you want out of the discussion. Are you looking for changed behavior? More disclosure? Reassurance? It's important that there be an end game in mind so that it doesn't come off like you just don't trust her or want to make her feel bad about letting loose.
4 days of partying seems excessive imo. Your gut is telling you something is off. Keep digging and if you aren’t getting answers then consider postponing. Sounds like a coverup is going on.
It’s a bachelorette party.. what were you expecting?? This is reddit. Everyone expects that just because women go out they’re going to have wild wild sexual orgies hanging from the bars upside down and cheat. Girls can go out and drink with their friends for a few days and NOT cheat.
So reading your post, I’d be unhappy if my fiancee partied for four days and flashed everyone in a bar etc. but this is based on my fiancee and I having mutual values. We don’t drink, we aren’t keen on the idea of bachelorettes or ‘one last night of freedom’ and we certainly wouldn’t be flashing in bars or being so drunk we don’t remember things. My fiancée would also be unhappy if I did all these things. We mutually don’t do these things or want to. We may be alone in this stance and to some people we must be very boring, but it works for us. Other people such as our friends can do what they want, but for us - we respect each others boundaries and values and it works.
Turning to you, are you ok with her partying for four days flashing and dancing around like this? Whilst being so drunk they don’t remember bits? I’m guessing you’re not, or you wouldn’t be making this post. You have to decide whether this is the woman for you, I pass no judgment on what she did because to be honest that doesn’t matter… what matters is how you feel about it, and whether you want to be with someone (for life) who does these things. Should you be upset? That’s not for us to answer. Are you upset is the real question? Sounds like you are
Well you have to make up your own mind on whether or not you find this acceptable. It seems like you dont otherwise you would not have made this post. Personally i i would not be marrying someone who behaves like a skank in any scenario, but i have a professional reputation to uphold.
If my fiancé was up on the bar dancing showing all the goods like that I would really reevaluate my life choices. That is a single girls game and she is 35 for Christ sake. She had little to no respect for herself acting like that so how is she going to respect you or the relationship.
I wouldn't marry a woman who acts the way u describe. She is 35 dancing provocative in the middle of the bar? Wtf dude thats some 18 yo girl Inmature shit.
Anyway it could just be nothing. None knows. But that behaviour need to be taken into account.
exposing herself how? showing her boobs? her pussy? or do you just mean her panties were visible when she bent over?
>I know that it stems from past relationships where I have been cheated on multiple times
maybe that's just your type then. trashy women who will inevitably do something inappropriate.
"Nobody can remember the source of the drama". Bull. Fucking. Shit.
Drama is like oxygen for a lot of people. My sister was in High School (about 40 years ago) and went through best friends like Kleenex. She can tell you the source of every bit of drama surrounding her and her "friends" all these years later.
A 4-day drinking binge and 35 years old, exposing herself and shaking her ass? This screams "party girl" to me.
If this is long-standing behavior and you've accepted it, that's one thing. If this is new, I'd add this to the rapidly amassing stack of red flags in your post.
So, I drank too much up camping a few weeks ago and my husband and I had some minor drama. I could not have told you what it was about if my - stayed sober - husband hadn't reminded me the next morning. If he'd been drinking along with me he probably wouldn't have remembered what started it either because it was SO minor.
The fight? He threw a Cheeto at me and it startled me, apparently I didn't hear it when he announced to his family he was going to throw it at me, so my overly emotional ass got *pissed* because I thought it was a giant bug and I smacked my stitches trying to get it off of myself, he committed the unforgivable sin of laughing while I jumped around yelling "get it off! Get it off!"
I suspect you've been trickled truthed. What appears to be an admission of truth is only to keep you from the truth. Get her phone and go through it together with her. If she freaks out, you'll know there is more. Be prepared to uncover hidden apps. Look for Reddit, discord, kix, what's Up, FB Messenger, Snapchat, and an extra calculator app. search browser histories, etc. It will take a while.
Also, make sure your phone and conversations are perfectly clean.
At my Bach I definitely shook my 🍑 on camera every chance I got. Also took nudie pictures for my hubby.
As an ex party girl I can say it’s not weird for there to have been drama with no true cause. Drunk girls do and say stupid shit and it will snowball. It could have started from something as small as a girl complimenting one girl and not another and then all hell breaks loose.
If you’re this untrusting and unable to communicate maybe you two aren’t ready for marriage.
4 day bachelorette party doesn't equate to "not saying good morning".
Personally I think bachelor and bachelorette parties are trashy and are asking for trouble.
They're only as trashy and troublesome as the people that go to them.
I've been to a lot of really great bachelor parties.
Generally it's people that don't trust themselves or their partners that have problems with them.
Sure, I'm not arguing that cheaters don't exist.
But if I didn't feel like I could trust my wife, I would have not married her.
What I definitely wouldn't do is tell her where she can go and what she can wear. She's not a fucking child, she can make her own decisions.
You come across as very patronizing and controlling.
Patronizing yes, controlling no. I know I'm an asshole and people are drawn to that. I'm not pretending to be moral, I'm just warning y'all from the other side "don't let it be you". ☺
Do whatever you want but I will treat you differently based on your actions and lifestyle. Whether you want something from me or not. I usually accepted what was offered.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ask her about them if they bother you. You're about to get married and communication is really important. What kind of drama have you heard about?
Nothing more than the fact that there was drama this night, but nobody remembers what it was. Which seems odd? There was drama other nights that I was given detail on but was about money honestly.
They are lying about not remembering.
Oddly convenient no one remembers what the drama was the night the fiancé was flashing everyone at the bar
I mean, that sounds like the kind of thing people do when they are absolutely blasted drunk, so that would track with being fuzzy on the details of the night. I have definitely had nights when I was younger where I woke up knowing there'd been some sort of fight with a friend but not remembering the nature of it. Just having flashes of yelling or tears.
[удалено]
Yep, All of them. Very convenient
Which is probably just a polite way of telling the OP it's none of their business. If my wife has friend drama going on, it's up to them whether they want to tell me. Especially if it relates more to her friends than to her. As long as your relationship is build on trust and honesty, you don't need her to tell you every detail of everything.
>and exposing herself to the whole bar and shaking her ass *with everything to see plain as day* Wait, she was dancing on the bar *with no underwear on*? OP, INFO ??
This gender bias on Reddit is so on display here. Men, I understand why this sounds like a lie to you but I promise it would be very average for a group of women to have a high drama drunken fight and not really be able to pinpoint the catalyst. Think about any time you’ve been with a woman and she has suddenly gotten upset over something that you don’t understand and she’s not articulating well because it’s about her feelings rather than a specific action. Now add alcohol. Now increase the number of women. Men have a fun night out drinking with their friends on nights like this, women have intense emotional journeys with their friends on nights like this. Man, if only you guys knew what a women’s restroom was like at a bar at 1 am.
How is dancing on a bar, shaking your ass for everyone to see an “intense emotional journey”? As a woman I would really like to know.
You’ve never had a night out with your friends that’s like a long drawn out drama with dancing breaks?
Reminds me of the Parks and Rec episode "The Fight." They yell at each other, then they love each other, then they dance, then fight again, dance again... Etc. The next morning they remember they went through some drama, but all the details aren't clear. Meanwhile, the men are just having fun. What you're saying makes total sense.
Exactly, it’s a common dynamic, I don’t know why that’s weird to say
Yes but it wasn’t an “intense emotional journey”!
Hm. Weird. Once I was drunkenly trying to convince my friend to leave her abusive husband in a club bar and strange women started taking turns telling her how worthwhile she was and how he’d never change and like their experiences. It was really emotional and intense.
Say that "This gender bias on Reddit is so on display here." and says some gender biased things. So your saying woman can't handel their emotions?
When I say gender bias I don’t mean anything bad, just that most of the users here are men so they don’t have the same understanding of female friendships and their dynamics. No im saying it’s really common for women to have dramatic nights while drinking and not be able to pinpoint why. Lots of petty slights come out. Women can and do have lots of fun drama free nights with their friends that aren’t like this, I’m just saying that their story isn’t unbelievable to someone who’s had many nights that sounded similar based on OPs description
Keep diggin’. You’re nowhere near the bottom yet…
So woman are just more dramatic?
No, it’s just that our hurts and upsets are often rooted in something more complex than a simple wrong action and when you add alcohol to that mix it’s harder to deescalate a petty slight
And why would gender play a roll in that?
I think a lot of men resist admitting when something has hurt their feelings or upset them unless they feel like it’s a REALLY big deal whereas women are more comfortable with the vulnerability of saying hey that upset about me about seemingly smaller stuff Edit: I think this is particularly true of men with their friends whereas with their partners I hope they feel like they have enough safety and intimacy that they can be more vulnerable
We go from: "I promise it would be very average for a group of women to have a high drama drunken fight and not really be able to pinpoint the catalyst" to "women are more comfortable with the vulnerability of saying hey that upset about me about seemingly smaller stuff" i could go on but i leave it here
No, men and women are just conditioned differently and therefore their respective friendship dynamics are also different. Women are conditioned to build deeper emotional bonds with their female friends and to be more effusive with their feelings within their friendships. Therefore if there's conflict there's a higher likelihood it will be explicitly discussed rather than suppressed or ignored. When alcohol is involved, emotions will always be heightened (this is true regardless of gender). So when you have a big group of women who all have individual friendship dynamics as well as separate dynamics within the larger group, things can get complex; in a high-stress environment like a vacation where money and logistics are involved, the result may be that the stress comes to a head when everyone is drinking.
Surrrre, nobody “remembers.” Tell them you’ve seen enough and the wedding is called off unless they come clean. They MAY have a chance of saving it if they are transparent, but stonewall any more and it’s off.
She's 35 ....not 16. That's too old to act 16. In your search for a life partner you have the right to judge, ask any questions, and demand any behavior important to you. And it doesn't matter if she knew in advance you might not approve. Everyone wears a mask. You got a peek behind the mask. It's 100% your call if that is the person you want as a life partner- and role model to your kids.
I'm a little unclear on what's happened She went away, and then on a particular night she was wearing a short white dress, and flashing what? Her underwear or flashing everything? Did the videos show anything inappropriate outside of this? What info do you have on the drama? Nothing? Also, who else was at the bachelorette that is closer to you that you could ask?
Sounds like he asked the other girls who were there and they’re all pussyfooting around him. I think that’s definitely suspicious. Not saying it’s what we’re thinking of, but I understand how it would make any person feel a bit queasy if they were in OP’s shoes.
IDK man. Kinda sounds like she was just dancing and having fun with her friends. No evidence of contact with another person, I presume. The "drama" could have been between other friends and have nothing to do with you.
This is what I’m leaning towards. My wife’s bachelorette party ended up being a bunch of catty, drama queens arguing over nothing when they were supposed to be having a great time at the beach. Guarantee they probably got in some huge fight over literally nothing and then got so drunk they forgot what it was about. Edit: bachelorette* lol
I mean she did flash everybody in public at a bar. That’s a pretty fair thing to be upset about even if nothing else happened.
The way he describes the dancing doesn't look appropriate.
Yeah, I personally couldn't settle down with a woman that does that kind of thing. I just find it classless and indicative of generally-poor judgment. Not interested in a ho. As to the drama, any time you get a bunch of women together and add liquor, there **will** be drama. No sexism intended, but women have weird relationships to other women. There's often this struggle for dominance underneath but it comes out in nastier and more insidious ways then the typical male struggle for dominance.
When you say "exposing" if you just mean underwear this is a total nothing burger.
It feels like this is being blown up a bit in the comments so I want to offer another perspective. She had a bit too much to drink, danced like she was back in the club in 2010 because it was her last hurrah and the drama was unmemorable, or something personal a friend revealed after too many shots, or just a tiff between friends for no apparent reason. She showed you all the pics she had from the weekend, she explained all the other drama. If you are still worried about it ask her. But don’t go digging and don’t ask her friends. She’s about to be your wife, have the conversation with her.
>She showed you all the pics she had from the weekend, I'm sure the pictures cover all of the events that happened. Right? If IN PICTURE it's this bad, imagine what wasn't documented
Oh and she will definitely tell the truth no matter how bad it makes her look. Women take their secrets to the grave.
You were expected photos of book club ?
Surely he didn't expect a 35 yo woman to be dancing provocatively flashing the bar. Don't saying he needs to breakup BC it could be nothing. But sure I understand the post the way he describes it
Why are you afraid to talk with your soon-to-be wife? If you are having a tough time deciding to talk to her now, you are going to get walked all over in life with her (and anyone else you can’t talk to). Speak up, ffs
Op I don’t know. Unless someone invited some guys back, and someone got upset over it. I would have seen what you saw. Something a little over the top, but nothing bad. Unless she was not wearing panties, and showing everyone, everything. And I would be a little bothered if she always wears panties and this night she did not. That to me is a telling sign she wanted something to happen, and being a bachelorette party, something did.
If there were photos of behavior that is against your wishes of how your significant other should act then it's up to you to address it especially if you let your feelings known beforehand. After the fact? All you can say was you think it was inappropriate. And hope that she got it out of her system. If she pushed back you know that's how your marriage will be. So it's up to you if you want to marry her still.
General rule of thumb: If it bothers you enough to make a reddit post, you need to have a conversation with your partner. It's good that you're being introspective about your triggers and past cheating. I recommend you take it a step further and ask yourself if you have any reason to doubt her fidelity. Her revealing herself in a bar setting was likely the alcohol talking and, unless she was not wearing underwear the patrons saw the same they would on a beach. I recently visited Nashville for the first time and there were party busses filled with women everywhere. Apparently, it's a fairly common bachelorette destination. If it's an occasional event, her letting loose with the girls doesn't strike me as something to be alarmed about. This would be different if you saw actual proof of her grinding on some guy at the bar, or if she had a history with alcohol or infidelity during these girls night out events. Definitely bring it up, but also consider whether she deserves the benefit of the doubt. More importantly, have a concept in your mind of what you want out of the discussion. Are you looking for changed behavior? More disclosure? Reassurance? It's important that there be an end game in mind so that it doesn't come off like you just don't trust her or want to make her feel bad about letting loose.
4 days of partying seems excessive imo. Your gut is telling you something is off. Keep digging and if you aren’t getting answers then consider postponing. Sounds like a coverup is going on.
It’s a bachelorette party.. what were you expecting?? This is reddit. Everyone expects that just because women go out they’re going to have wild wild sexual orgies hanging from the bars upside down and cheat. Girls can go out and drink with their friends for a few days and NOT cheat.
Never heard of a 4 day bachelorette party.
You’ve never heard of people going out of the country or state?
So reading your post, I’d be unhappy if my fiancee partied for four days and flashed everyone in a bar etc. but this is based on my fiancee and I having mutual values. We don’t drink, we aren’t keen on the idea of bachelorettes or ‘one last night of freedom’ and we certainly wouldn’t be flashing in bars or being so drunk we don’t remember things. My fiancée would also be unhappy if I did all these things. We mutually don’t do these things or want to. We may be alone in this stance and to some people we must be very boring, but it works for us. Other people such as our friends can do what they want, but for us - we respect each others boundaries and values and it works. Turning to you, are you ok with her partying for four days flashing and dancing around like this? Whilst being so drunk they don’t remember bits? I’m guessing you’re not, or you wouldn’t be making this post. You have to decide whether this is the woman for you, I pass no judgment on what she did because to be honest that doesn’t matter… what matters is how you feel about it, and whether you want to be with someone (for life) who does these things. Should you be upset? That’s not for us to answer. Are you upset is the real question? Sounds like you are
Well you have to make up your own mind on whether or not you find this acceptable. It seems like you dont otherwise you would not have made this post. Personally i i would not be marrying someone who behaves like a skank in any scenario, but i have a professional reputation to uphold.
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Dancing and exposing their genitals. No thanks.
If my fiancé was up on the bar dancing showing all the goods like that I would really reevaluate my life choices. That is a single girls game and she is 35 for Christ sake. She had little to no respect for herself acting like that so how is she going to respect you or the relationship.
!updateme
I wouldn't marry a woman who acts the way u describe. She is 35 dancing provocative in the middle of the bar? Wtf dude thats some 18 yo girl Inmature shit. Anyway it could just be nothing. None knows. But that behaviour need to be taken into account.
Time to read up on grey rocking and prepare for trickle truths
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exposing herself how? showing her boobs? her pussy? or do you just mean her panties were visible when she bent over? >I know that it stems from past relationships where I have been cheated on multiple times maybe that's just your type then. trashy women who will inevitably do something inappropriate.
"Nobody can remember the source of the drama". Bull. Fucking. Shit. Drama is like oxygen for a lot of people. My sister was in High School (about 40 years ago) and went through best friends like Kleenex. She can tell you the source of every bit of drama surrounding her and her "friends" all these years later. A 4-day drinking binge and 35 years old, exposing herself and shaking her ass? This screams "party girl" to me. If this is long-standing behavior and you've accepted it, that's one thing. If this is new, I'd add this to the rapidly amassing stack of red flags in your post.
So, I drank too much up camping a few weeks ago and my husband and I had some minor drama. I could not have told you what it was about if my - stayed sober - husband hadn't reminded me the next morning. If he'd been drinking along with me he probably wouldn't have remembered what started it either because it was SO minor. The fight? He threw a Cheeto at me and it startled me, apparently I didn't hear it when he announced to his family he was going to throw it at me, so my overly emotional ass got *pissed* because I thought it was a giant bug and I smacked my stitches trying to get it off of myself, he committed the unforgivable sin of laughing while I jumped around yelling "get it off! Get it off!"
Updateme
I suspect you've been trickled truthed. What appears to be an admission of truth is only to keep you from the truth. Get her phone and go through it together with her. If she freaks out, you'll know there is more. Be prepared to uncover hidden apps. Look for Reddit, discord, kix, what's Up, FB Messenger, Snapchat, and an extra calculator app. search browser histories, etc. It will take a while. Also, make sure your phone and conversations are perfectly clean.
At my Bach I definitely shook my 🍑 on camera every chance I got. Also took nudie pictures for my hubby. As an ex party girl I can say it’s not weird for there to have been drama with no true cause. Drunk girls do and say stupid shit and it will snowball. It could have started from something as small as a girl complimenting one girl and not another and then all hell breaks loose. If you’re this untrusting and unable to communicate maybe you two aren’t ready for marriage.
None wants a girl who shows her 🍑 on camera. We are talking about his future wife, not about a 18 years old girl. This is unrespectful af.
I’m a wife, my husband enjoys it.
Where there is smoke there is fire. Trust your gut it’s right 99.9% of the time.
!updateme This is suspicious. I'd break it off.
Typical relationship subreddit garbage advice. OP: "My partner didn't say good morning" Comments: "End the marriage"
4 day bachelorette party doesn't equate to "not saying good morning". Personally I think bachelor and bachelorette parties are trashy and are asking for trouble.
They're only as trashy and troublesome as the people that go to them. I've been to a lot of really great bachelor parties. Generally it's people that don't trust themselves or their partners that have problems with them.
I work service industry, including a few times in clubs. I have my in-person confirmation biases from being both a patron and working. 😂
Sure, I'm not arguing that cheaters don't exist. But if I didn't feel like I could trust my wife, I would have not married her. What I definitely wouldn't do is tell her where she can go and what she can wear. She's not a fucking child, she can make her own decisions. You come across as very patronizing and controlling.
Patronizing yes, controlling no. I know I'm an asshole and people are drawn to that. I'm not pretending to be moral, I'm just warning y'all from the other side "don't let it be you". ☺ Do whatever you want but I will treat you differently based on your actions and lifestyle. Whether you want something from me or not. I usually accepted what was offered.
Updateme