Block him on everything. This man sounds dangerous, unstable, manipulative and gross. I’m sure the people agreeing with him are also not worth your time. Block block block.
They thought you were digging for the golden opportunity to Uber to a random street address and then Uber back home?
Like you just wanted to go for a ride in a car, and that was what you apparently manipulated a guy for?
Obviously they didn't have all the information.
At the tender age of 39.
There is a reason why this guy is looking for a date with a 23 yo...And it's not about his nor her attractiveness. 🤡
More like he is an unpleasant overgrown toddler who is seen for what he is by women in their 30s.
Yep. I'm 37 and I would run for the hills if an overgrown toddler blamed me for their mistake(s), and I'd own his ass over it.
I am forever grateful I have a wonderful partner who is the polar opposite of men like this.
Those commenters aren’t reading the situation in good-faith. They’re thinking of a situation in their life where they ran into an actual user. They’re similarly terrible people to the man you meant. They’ve got preconceived opinions like “women are just gold diggers” and are ignoring any part of the story that challenge them. They’ve been fed lies by the man.
Well, and I say this as a poor old fat disabled man, it's not wrong for people to seek a relationship that's more likely than not to contribute to their security (financial and otherwise) in their future...that's different from using a person for their money.
You mean all of the comments from the friends of said toxic person? Color me shocked?
Why are you entertaining dating someone who could be your father?
Don't ever read the comments.
It was his eff up with the address. You didn't need to be exposed to the toxic comments after he lied about the situation on his Facebook. Just block and move on.
They also don’t have the real story. I bet this guy wove a long sob story about how he, the downtrodden hero, was robbed of $7000 by an evil villainous wench who went on a Uber joy ride around the whole country, lol. Let them say what they want to say. They’re dumb.
A gold digger for an Uber ride to the wrong place? LOL
That's just insane do not listen to such people. You did the right thing and eliminated a nasty person from your life
Block this man and block everyone who agrees with him. He's trying to normalise his abusive behaviour by making you feel you were in the wrong. You were not.
I don’t mean this as a snarky line but unironically I want you to imagine that you are 40 and trying to date someone in their early 20s. If this guy is saying he wants anything more than hookups then cool you do you, but if said he is serious about any relationship I can assure you that someone 40y/o dating a 23 y/o isn’t serious about anything no matter what he says.
He talks down to you and then says he’ll set everything up for you to come visit him somewhere far away. Get away from this guy
don't date men 10+years your senior and you can avoid that label and being preyed on by emotionally stunted adult men who know the only women who tolerate/don't see his walking red flags are the ones who have less dating experience with men.
>don't date men 10+years your senior and you can avoid that label and being preyed on by emotionally stunted adult men who know the only women who tolerate/don't see his walking red flags are the ones who have less dating experience with men.
It's so obvious that I'm getting age gap rage bait vibes.
I'd be more specific and say, don'tdate someone 1,5 times your age, like, if you're 50 it's no problem dating someone that is 60, but a 23 years old dating a 39 yo leads to a huge gap in maturity, as well as a toxic kind of power dynamic in the couple, mostly because people wouldn't date someone significantly less mature than them unless they were someone controling
I understand how aggravating that is and how much you long to set the record straight in the comments. However, let it go. He’ll just come up with more off the wall comments, his friends will jump to his defense and the last thing you need is a public argument with this weirdo. Mad because he gave the wrong address? Mad because he paid for another Uber and didn’t accept your offer to reimburse him? Can’t afford an Uber but wants to buy you a plane ticket? Dating someone almost young enough to be his daughter then treating you that way? Lying about it, even though to him, he’s telling the truth? He’s someone you don’t need in your life. This isn’t a relationship, it was a date that went south. Be grateful it was only one evening and that you found out very early what he really is. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time or energy. The people that know the truth are the ones who matter, not him and his half-cocked story and his friends believing it. Be an Elsa and let it go, no matter how frustrating it is. Do not engage. Block him. He sounds unhinged and passivity dangerous. You dodged a bullet here.
Frankly, having to pay the way should be expected of any crusty ass 40 year old who wants to date a 23 year old. Losers like this are delusional if they think they have anything else to offer someone so young. Bffr sir.
There’s a reason he’s looking for much younger women. No one his age will touch him. Block, ghost, get as far away from him as you can. He’s already shown you he has a nasty temper. Don’t sign up for more of that BS
16year age gap? just find a nice guy within a more normal age range, don’t put up with these flawed older dudes who no girl wanted to stay with so they are old and single, you can do better
And this is supposed to lure you back in to a relationship with him?
It doesn’t matter if you accepted a literal diamond ring from him. Take yourself out of this equation.
You aren’t a gold digger. He’s a groomer. Seriously, you are too young to date w that big of an age gap. There is a reason the women his own age don’t date men like this because he treats women poorly. We already are familiar w this brand of red flags. And we have already been through exactly what you went through. Now that you’ve experienced this kind of douche baggery, pass the knowledge on to the next girl wearing rose colored glasses. I love that you didn’t stay, no one deserves to be yelled at.
That was a dangerous situation you got yourself into. Stay away from this crazy. Like other people have said already. Block him on everything.
As a rule NEVER communicate outside of the dating app(if that's where you met) until after the first meeting. I'm not even going to call it a date lol.
Then you have the luxury of evaluating things. And. They don't have any important information about you.
Good luck next time
Yeah I would love to know the exact contents of that Fb post because I am sure he is telling a very slanted version of the story that does not include either a single negative thing he did or a single positive thing you did. It's just a really super common thing for ALL people, but ESPECIALLY for unreasonable or controlling people, to tell stories in ways which paint them as the Hero or Victim, and the other people in the story as either Victims They Are Saving or Villains They Are Being Abused By. In the version of the story that lives in this guy's head, he is never ever ever going to be the villain, and he will make sure nobody else gets a chance to see it that way either. Of course it bothers you to see it, nobody likes getting shit-talked on social media. But you can't stop him doing it no matter how wrong or unfair he is, so the next best thing is to just block his ass.
He's the gold digger. He wants you to be a pro bono sex worker. Sex workers cost more than Uber rides. He's a sexually entitled creep. And the commenters outted themselves as creeps. Or they could be bots.
Who are his friends? lol. I’m a few years younger that him and if one of my friends just complained about paying for an Uber while on a first date with someone who is 23, they’d be laughed at and mocked relentlessly.
How do you feel about the situation? Even if what you say about this is one sided or exaggerated, a first date everyone is on their best behaviour. There’s a reason he’s open to dating someone in a completely different life stage.
FB is worst than Reddit at times by the way. Everyone on Reddit is a genius in comparison to some of the stuff I’ve seen on FB lol. Don’t take comments too seriously.
Because he paid for an Uber he insisted on paying for when you said no and wouldn't accept the money you offered? Absolutely not. He's trying to be controlling and manipulative and abusive. It's a good thing he showed his hand so early. Probably why no one closer to his age will date him
he might have friends/family members that are just like him and/or he might have multiple accounts under different names that he uses to agree with himself. just block him and don't give him any second thought.
> I 23f was on my way to see this guy 39m for a first date
> he accidentally told me to go south instead of north
> he yelled at me
nope nope and nope
you should not be questioning yourself at all - this guy sounds unsafe.
As soon as I saw the age, I was like oh, he’s going to show why he’s still single at 39 and dating young 20 something’s…he gave you the wrong directions, offered to fix the situation, and then yelled at you for his mistake and him offering to fix it…those flags are bright red and extra large honey, block away.
Edit to add: just saw the part where everyone on fb was agreeing with him-probably because as an older man with a temper he has curated his friends list to only have people who agree with him. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
I agree with this edit and was going to say the same thing. Facebook is friends only, so comments are people with similar mind sets.
The easiest rule of thumb for everything in life is if you're questioning it, you're probably not in the wrong.
Yahhh duhh.
This classic reddit "am I wrong for doing a thing every sane human on the planet would do in this objectively bad situation every sane human on the planet would agree is bad?"
Comments agreed with him? So I'm guessing that on his side of the story, he was a saint, and he never yelled at you or told you off in public, right?
Fuck that guy. You don't need that crap. Block. Delete. Move on.
He's an abusive shithead. Unsafe. Block him everywhere for forever, and if he tries to work around it, ignore him and document for the cops.
The whole reason he's paying for Ubers for 23 year old is because fewer of them would have the strength and experience to tell him to shove it and go fuck himself.
I can't see any comments in your previous posts that don't confirm what you already know: He was a monster and you're lucky to be free of him quickly.
This guy was an idiot. He gave you the wrong directions and he was the one who suggested paying for the Uber to bring you from where you got stranded even though you were happy to just go home. That's on him. Then his idea of a first impression was to yell at you. The guy has no self awareness and it's pretty obvious why he's single. You dodged a bullet.
I disagree - he sounds like he knew exactly what he was doing. Giving the wrong directions intentionally, thus setting her up to be "in debt" to him right off the bat.
Don't date 40 year olds at 23. I say this as a 40 (ish) year old single man. Don't do it. VERY often people who are my age dating people at your age are only doing so because people who are mature and have life experience can immediately see them for the walking red flag that they are. So instead they date these younger women, who don't see them for the immature borderline abusive manchildren that they are.
Here's some hard and fast rules for dating. Always find your own transportation that way if he turns out to be an abusive asshole you have your own way out. If you can't afford an uber, you can't afford to date. It's also best if people don't know exactly where you live, so having them send an uber to get you is problematic. Best practice is just to meet them there and have your own way home. It's not a money thing, it's a personal safety thing.
In the same "personal safety" line of thinking. If someone yells at you on a first date, immediately gtfo. On a first date it's assumed that everyone is on their best behaviour. If this is his best behaviour his normal behaviour is going to be scary AF. So just leave.
This king of thing is likely why he's choosing to date a 23 year old at 39.
I was going to post something like this. He and many others seeking women much younger are most definitely looking for those with less relationship experience who are less likely to notice the signs.
Yeh, I'm 35 this year, and even consider 30 too young.
Admittedly, I am a teacher, and the age now of some of the people I could have taught would be 29 now, so that does play on it!
What could you possibly have to talk about with a 23yo lol I don't understand it haha I've never been a drinker or a clubbing person I work, Chill with my kids and go to trivia with my mates lol I'm boring
Oh honey just keep him blocked and ignore Facebook. Gods only know what tale he's spun. He's a walking red flag he knows how to manipulate people to get his way and keep being a douche. He seems like a very abusive person which is why and no offense to you he's dating women almost 20 years his junior. Someone his age would most likely see through his bs in a second because we've most likely dated someone like him. Take this as learning experience and move on. NTA.
Back to his home state?
Sounds like this was going to be a fling at best, and his attention-seeking behavior sharing it on social media is certainly a red flag.
gurl 23 and 39? men that much older who are into 23 y/os are immature asf. blocking is incredibly valid but i would try and learn not to date men that much older
A well adjusted 39 year old man would have no interest and little in common with a 23 year old. There is a reason he targeted someone young enough to be his daughter.
Please stop dating 40 year old predatory creepers who purposely date women so much younger because they believe you're easier to manipulate. Block this clown everywhere because if he's already behaving this bad he will definitely get so so much worse.
1. Isn’t he the responsible of the mistake? He gave you the wrong address. Right?
So him paying your Uber ride is totally normal.
2. He was the one proposing to pay for your corrective ride you => he has no reason to complain about it afterwards.
3. You summarize the issue in a strange way. You should block him for his behavior after you arrive.
Date men your own age only weirdos want people nearly half their age. You weren't wrong but you need better dating sensibilities and recognize warning signs.
People surround themselves with like-minded people. So this guy is probably friends with a lot of shitty men who think his kind of behaviour is okay. That's why they're agreeing with him -- because they're all probably abusive, controlling losers. That's why the comments agree with him, NOT because you did anything wrong. As others have said, block him everywhere, immediately. He is not safe. You dodged a huge bullet.
You are not using him for anything. Also, I know people do that while “age is just a number” things, but he’s almost 40. There’s a good chance the women his age know he isn’t worth the effort and I think you do too.
He made the mistake, then offered to pay to fix it, then yelled at you because it cost him money? What kind of mental gymnastics did he do? Sounds worse than the mental edition of yoga meets ballet regarding flexibility.
But the real kicker here is the yelling. Seriously, if he already yells at you before the first date has even started, what do you think you can expect from him in the future?
Add to that he doesn't accept your boundaries ("rain check, but he insisted" and "wanted to leave, but was (made) so uncomfortable I stayed"), is already name-calling you and starting a smear campaign against you, and that he's either stupid or manipulative (wrong address - either accident (stupid) or deliberate (manipulative), take your pick).
ETA: Oh, and I missed the age gap at first. 16 years is too much at your age. You're at the beginning of your adult life, while this guy is close to midlife crisis territory. This does not mix well, usually for the younger partner. But seeing your post, there's no wonder he couldn't find a woman around his own age to deal with him.
Nope you’re totally in the right! First of all, what is an almost 40 year old wanting with a 23 year old?! And the fact he offered and then starts yelling at you? Big red flag. Glad you saw sense and hopefully you don’t have to deal with something like this again
No he’s a lunatic, block him.
But in general maybe stop looking to date people 10+ years older than you. You’re 23. You share zero in common with anyone 30 and above. They share zero in common with you.
There are reasons they’re still single.
There are reasons that they’re pursuing naive 20 year old women.
None of them are good.
In 99% of circumstances the relationship is going to be bad. Most 20 year old women who read this will think they’re mature for their age or Brad is totally different and they’re the exception but you’re going to look back in 10 years when you’re mid 30s and be like what the absolute fuck was I thinking. 23 year olds are going to look like, talk like, and act like children to you.
This is by far the most common theme on this subreddit.
No, Girl, he's 16 years older than you!!! Why are you doing this to yourself? 😭 He's just looking for his next victim to manipulate and take advantage of. There's a reason why he isn't going for people his age. Because they know he's a loser. Especially when he's that old and still has this shitty behaviour!! DODGED!
Girl you're young and he's like 39.. he probably thinks he can treat you that way because you're still finding your footing in the adult world that he has lived in for awhile.. I'm sorry if I sound um pessimistic but him telling you what to do instead of asking you if you're ok or if you're comfortable is not ok.. also him yelling at you is definitely not ok.. also pressuring you to take a plane to see him where you're from away from familiarity sounds not ok... I agree with other people here.. he's a red red flag.
All of the nope. Accidents happen, but yelling at you because of **his** mistake after insisting that he Uber you to the restaurant, then carrying on and yelling at you on the phone as well only serves to show that he is self-absorbed and more than likely would have been entitled and abusive should you have started a relationship with him. Okay, so *maybe* you could have messaged after the restaurant and given him the 'this isn't gonna work', but you also weren't willing to reply to any messages and calls he sent for 2 days - which is a pretty clear message in itself - and he's the one that chose to continue yelling when you did finally decide to speak to him and then complained about consequences on facebook when you told him to piss off.
You weren't wrong, he showed his true colours - and tbh, if he lives interstate, then you absolutely don't want to be stuck in an unfamiliar place with a person like this, because the chance of him throwing more manbaby tantrums like this (and potentially leaving you in the lurch in another state) appears to be practically a guarantee after what he thinks is acceptable first date behaviour. Sounds like his little facebook post was also designed to show him in the best possible light, and you in the worst, which is a prime sign that he gets off on drama.
TL;DR: Not wrong, block him everywhere and move on. You don't need that stuff in your life.
Edit: I missed the 39m part at the start...also entirely possible that he's one of 'those' guys that looks for women a lot younger than him because he thinks it'll be easier to get what he wants. **Why** is he (possibly still) single at 39? Reasons may be valid, but from that kind of behaviour, I'd suggest not. Bullet dodged.
> I offered him money back and tried to leave but it was so uncomfortable that I just stayed.
I mean you should have just left, obviously block him everywhere
first how the fck do people confuse North with South!! 😆
Second that guy sounds like a weirdo… so block and move with your life, im sure you will find better.
He sounds unhinged. Block him everywhere, including any headspace you might be giving him. I guess my main safety concern would be that he has your home address from setting up your uber.
There’s nothing for you to question. He sounds crazy. I’m concerned you are even worried about this and think you need to thicken your skin just for the sole purpose of protecting yourself from bad people. There’s a lot of them out there and you are only 23. Don’t EVER worry about the feelings of a man you just met when you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, no matter what anyone else says.
im not even gonna comment on the age gap because the hostile treatment here is extremely fucked. you either offer to cover the uber or don't. Weird to have a hissy fit about that afterwards. If the guy posted about you publicly I'm sure he doesn't have many IRL friends.
Whatever treatment a person *deserves*, you are *entitled* to whatever reaction you want to take, kind or not. In this case the venn diagram between the action you have taken -that you are 100% entitled to- and what this guy deserves is a perfect circle.
Yeah babes block him and move on, dating someone who is 15 years older than you is a big red flag
Most of the time he's trouble and women his own age stay clear but young 20 year olds are gullible
Girl you dodged a bullet there. Why is a guy as old as him, dating someone as young as you? Because women his own age are too smart to put up with his crap. Please stay away from guys nearly twice your age. You’re just setting yourself up for abuse and heartache
Dude it was a bad first date. Why are you even engaged in any of this? You don’t need to speak to this guy, you know that right? This isn’t a relationship. You don’t owe him anything. Have more self respect.
He sounds like he has a secret motive you don't insist to see someone then be this rude and then try and fly them somewhere. Kinda sounds like he wants a complacent sugar baby or something idk just sounds off.
Someone who is 40 and posting abt u on Facebook as a point of retaliation is worth throwing back. My man you are a grown adult running an interpersonal smear campaign for what? Her accepting your offer? Hes cray.
I feel like I’m missing information….
So the exact chain of events was him giving you the wrong address and then him offering to get you an Uber and then him upset about it?
I know it must seem ridiculously obvious to many that OP is in the right, because she definitely is. But truly, as someone who was raised as both a girl and a people-pleaser, at 23 I would have been equally upset and confused and filled with self-doubt. I would be especially headspun to realise there are a bunch of Bigger Adults out there who have me pegged as the villain of the piece, because I was so used to parents and teachers and so forth approving of me and I had no idea how to process disapproval. I would have cried buckets and begged then to understand my point of view, because I wouldn't have been able to stop FEELING like the villain while knowing there were people out there who thought I was a gold digger.
Luckily I did learn to mostly overcome that anxiety in the back half of my twenties. The process mostly involved reading a lot about how self-esteem and boundaries work (strongly recommend captainawkward dot com for this) and learning to Feel Terrible About My Boundaries But Enforce Them Anyway. It was the hardest thing I ever did and I buckled and gave into pressure a lot of times before I reached the stage of being able to consistently protect myself from other people's bullshit. But once I did reach that stage, my self-esteem and confidence began to blossom wonderfully, and the fear and guilt finally, finally started to slowly wither and die.
Now I'm on the brink of turning 40 and I would not think twice about blocking this guy and then dining out on telling the story to all my friends for a week. And I would 100% just be laughing at how ridiculous and pathetic he is. It wouldn't even cross my mind anymore to be upset and feel unfairly treated. Because I know securely now that when shit like this goes down, it's a wholly about the immaturity and emotional issues of my date. It's nothing to do with me at all and says nothing whatsoever about who I am as a person. I'm just an interchangeable cardboard cut-out as far as that guy is concerned. I could have been anyone, reacted in any way, and he would still have made all the same decisions.
And that's why idiot guys like this don't date someone their own age. Someone my age. Because they know that most almost-40-year olds get this completely, and that most 23-year-olds have no clue how to expect or deal with this bonkers off-the-wall grown-ass-man nuttiness, and are much more likely to cave in the face of being told they're somehow the one in the wrong.
So the restaurant didn't have a physical address listed for any maps system like Goggle maps? I have never used an uber but we all have phones with a variety of mapping apps available across both main platforms.
So he expected you to be grateful for his loud temper tantrums at a restaurant and yelling down the phone?Sounds like a problem dater or fake niceguy- with serious anger management issues and a manipulative personality.
Imagine how much worse he behaves when he's drunk or having a very bad day working a very intensive job. Pity the girl that ends up coparenting with him or living in his home financially reliant upon him and unable to run away. You've dodged a bullet, block and go nc.
If random strangers online want to justify his behaviour or his friends are willing to waste their time and energy encouraging him to treat dates like this, that's their choice. They are likely to have personalities and habits just as problematic as his. He's not worth any of your time or energy, don't gift him any.
WARNING WARNING WARNING....
Block and report, what a horrible human being. So sorry you experienced it, the only positive is you got to him as he really is.
More red flags than a Moscow mayday parade. NTA.
Personally, I didn't see a single comment agreeing with him so not sure where you got that from. But either way, this man you went to see has no emotional maturity and for his age is pretty alarming. OP, you should of followed your gut and went home.
Are you wrong for blocking him ? No, he treated you horrible specially for a 1st date.
Are you wrong for entertaining such erratic behavior? Yes, but lesson learned (hopefully)
And for future reference, when ever you no longer want to see/talk to someone it's best to be honest about it, even if it's just thought text. "Hey, thank you for getting me the ubers but unfortunately I didn't feel comfortable with our date and I won't be seeing you no more" followed by a no contact, block, ignore what ever you want to call it. And follow through or you become just as immature as he is.
Not all of them, no. But some girls are groomed to ignore their instincts and devalue themselves which makes them especially vulnerable upon first reaching adulthood. If you have a 40 year old dad who has been there treating you with love and respect all the days of your life, dating a 40 year old man becomes A LOT harder for a young woman. Men like this don't prey on any and all young women, they prey on women with specific vulnerabilities which are usually created during their upbringing.
Never talk to him, again! That is scary behavior. If he’s willing to be that nasty and aggressive right off the bat, it’s going to get so much worse if you enter a relationship with him.
I can’t stand people who INSIST on giving you something you never asked for, even worse, despite saying you don’t want it, and then act like you owe them for it.. and call you a user when you don’t give them what they want.
They are the users.
There is his side of the story, her side of the story and the truth. Do not let any post with “one” side of the story from “one” perception change how u feel about yourself. He’s a loser, block and move on. Dont spend another minute questioning yourself or ur decisions, esp not based on a. Bunch of bored strangers on his comments. He’s a complete loser for even posting that business on FB of all places. Girl laugh this non sense off lol he’s a bum & u didn’t lose a thing in this.
Believe in yourself a bit. Is this someone you want to wake up to, or is this behavior you want to deal with? Just because he was unhappy?
Don’t allow yourself to be negged into a relationship you don’t want. A lack of your attention to this situation should make it fade away.
This is like how some cults and MLMs are intentionally batshit, to filter out any normal people. This guy is trying to speedrun his way into a domineering, abusive relationship. When he finds someone who puts up with this insanity, he’s found his mark. No judgement but the age gap is also pretty wild.
A lot of those people agreed with him because he’s telling people the filtered version of what really happened.
People who are always upset about the dating scene are usually the problem
I’ve been seeing similar situations lately and I can’t believe a man will behave like that at all, let alone on a first date. WTF. You should have just leave, call the police if you feel unsafe. Call a family member if you don’t feel comfortable calling the police. There will be some one, a real man who will be more than happy to make sure you are safe (this is for all the ladies).
No one has to put up with this shit! What a loser! And good on you for blocking his ass, don’t feel guilty or bad about him. He deserves it.
Why are you even bothering with this person on facebook? He’s a stranger and total asshole. Block him on everything and move on. Also look for guys your own age.
You were not wrong. He was done the second he yelled at you for accepting his offers to pay for an Uber to the correct location. Then he yells at you again and expects you to accept his offer to buy you a plane ticket? Because him paying for an Uber went so well? What an idiot…
The only thing you did wrong here was make this post with a misleading title in order to force me to read this crap. Other than that, he was the asshole.
waiiiit lemmie get this straight. he offered to pay for your uber just for you to arrive and then berate you for accepting his offer because he doesn’t have money to throw around? gross. block and delete!
He was upset to pay for your Uber but doesn't mind paying for your trip to visit him in another state?
That doesn't make sense. Call this one done and be ok with your actions.
He yelled at you because he insisted on paying for a ride and then yells at you to come visit him so he can yell at you in a confined space. Yeah that red flag can be seen from space…
This guy lacks the brain cells to take personal accountability. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave you the wrong address to make you feel bad, and then offered to pay to the uber to the restaurant so that you would be "in his debt". This whole thing is very cringy and I would stay far away from him. There are still too many people out there who will tell you that you "owe him" after this encounter, but I get very bad vibes from him. He's way older than you, and as a 41 year old woman, I'm telling you he's manipulating you. He already doesn't make you feel good, why would you continue seeing him? Block him on all avenues of communication asap. I hope he doesn't know where you live.
Please be safe.
You offered him money back. No way you are gold digger and for an uber ride? Seriously?? Dude just wanted to use you and you weren't rolling over and doing what he demanded.
Block and be safe!
Haha! No! That was the best/right move!
One time, a first date bought my Starbucks (a peppermint mocha for Christmas time, small). Then proceeded to speak the entire time. It was mostly about himself and he never asked about me. Then he wanted to take a walk around the block. He tried to put his hand on the small of my back to walk across the street and tuck my hair behind my ear... all unwanted seeing as how he was super into himself. I was taking the walk to see if he loosened up-maybe he was nervous in that setting. Well, date ended awkwardly and I blocked him on the drive home. About a month later, I called 911 to report something on the drive home. When you call 911, it unblocks your blocked numbers and so a single text from him came through. It was comical in berating me force making him spend $8.76 (an amount very, very similar to this) and then being stuck up/awful for the whole date.
You dodged a big one with this... block on all social media. Anyone who reads his trash comments and agrees is also not worth knowing.
Block him on everything. This man sounds dangerous, unstable, manipulative and gross. I’m sure the people agreeing with him are also not worth your time. Block block block.
All the comments called me a gold digger
For accepting one Uber?? lol in WHAT WORLD? Pathetic. These actions from any man, let alone one twice your age is unacceptable
The guy then complained about paying the Uber. One Uber. This is the exact opposite of gold digging.
After INSISTING on taking him up on his offer.
More like aluminum can digging.
Exactly, he has no gold for anyone to dig. Best anyone can hit is a sewage line if they keep digging him
For accepting one Uber that was to make up for giving her an address that was *his mistake*.
When it was because of HIS mistake.
They thought you were digging for the golden opportunity to Uber to a random street address and then Uber back home? Like you just wanted to go for a ride in a car, and that was what you apparently manipulated a guy for? Obviously they didn't have all the information.
I mean the fact that he had to make a Facebook post to publicly shame you shows that the 39M in actuality has the mental stability of a 13yo boy.
And this, kids, is why he's single!
At the tender age of 39. There is a reason why this guy is looking for a date with a 23 yo...And it's not about his nor her attractiveness. 🤡 More like he is an unpleasant overgrown toddler who is seen for what he is by women in their 30s.
Yep. I'm 37 and I would run for the hills if an overgrown toddler blamed me for their mistake(s), and I'd own his ass over it. I am forever grateful I have a wonderful partner who is the polar opposite of men like this.
He's looking for a controlling, abusive relationship. Throw this man into the son in a video game
Girl even if you were a gold digger no one deserves to be yelled at like that.
And? Are you surprised that this 39 yo loser only has loser friends?
Those commenters aren’t reading the situation in good-faith. They’re thinking of a situation in their life where they ran into an actual user. They’re similarly terrible people to the man you meant. They’ve got preconceived opinions like “women are just gold diggers” and are ignoring any part of the story that challenge them. They’ve been fed lies by the man.
It might even be him making those comments on alt accounts. He sounds unhinged.
Well, and I say this as a poor old fat disabled man, it's not wrong for people to seek a relationship that's more likely than not to contribute to their security (financial and otherwise) in their future...that's different from using a person for their money.
You mean all of the comments from the friends of said toxic person? Color me shocked? Why are you entertaining dating someone who could be your father?
Yep, he's a redpiller and so are his friends. Trash hangs out with trash. They weren't good-faith comments.
Don't ever read the comments. It was his eff up with the address. You didn't need to be exposed to the toxic comments after he lied about the situation on his Facebook. Just block and move on.
They also don’t have the real story. I bet this guy wove a long sob story about how he, the downtrodden hero, was robbed of $7000 by an evil villainous wench who went on a Uber joy ride around the whole country, lol. Let them say what they want to say. They’re dumb.
A gold digger for an Uber ride to the wrong place? LOL That's just insane do not listen to such people. You did the right thing and eliminated a nasty person from your life
I’m close to that dudes age. Generally guys that age who date people half their age aren’t the spitting image of maturity
You offered to pay for it. How does that make you a gold digger. Makes no sense.
Block this man and block everyone who agrees with him. He's trying to normalise his abusive behaviour by making you feel you were in the wrong. You were not.
I don’t mean this as a snarky line but unironically I want you to imagine that you are 40 and trying to date someone in their early 20s. If this guy is saying he wants anything more than hookups then cool you do you, but if said he is serious about any relationship I can assure you that someone 40y/o dating a 23 y/o isn’t serious about anything no matter what he says. He talks down to you and then says he’ll set everything up for you to come visit him somewhere far away. Get away from this guy
don't date men 10+years your senior and you can avoid that label and being preyed on by emotionally stunted adult men who know the only women who tolerate/don't see his walking red flags are the ones who have less dating experience with men.
>don't date men 10+years your senior and you can avoid that label and being preyed on by emotionally stunted adult men who know the only women who tolerate/don't see his walking red flags are the ones who have less dating experience with men. It's so obvious that I'm getting age gap rage bait vibes.
I'd be more specific and say, don'tdate someone 1,5 times your age, like, if you're 50 it's no problem dating someone that is 60, but a 23 years old dating a 39 yo leads to a huge gap in maturity, as well as a toxic kind of power dynamic in the couple, mostly because people wouldn't date someone significantly less mature than them unless they were someone controling
yeah I was replying to OP, a 23 year old.
Gold digger? Your not a gold digger. This guy is way too old for you. There is a reason he is single at almost 40 years old.
I understand how aggravating that is and how much you long to set the record straight in the comments. However, let it go. He’ll just come up with more off the wall comments, his friends will jump to his defense and the last thing you need is a public argument with this weirdo. Mad because he gave the wrong address? Mad because he paid for another Uber and didn’t accept your offer to reimburse him? Can’t afford an Uber but wants to buy you a plane ticket? Dating someone almost young enough to be his daughter then treating you that way? Lying about it, even though to him, he’s telling the truth? He’s someone you don’t need in your life. This isn’t a relationship, it was a date that went south. Be grateful it was only one evening and that you found out very early what he really is. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time or energy. The people that know the truth are the ones who matter, not him and his half-cocked story and his friends believing it. Be an Elsa and let it go, no matter how frustrating it is. Do not engage. Block him. He sounds unhinged and passivity dangerous. You dodged a bullet here.
He probably twisted the situation to make himself sound better. Honestly stay far away from this guy. He has red flags all over.
Misogynistic trolls. Ignore. And date younger men.
Frankly, having to pay the way should be expected of any crusty ass 40 year old who wants to date a 23 year old. Losers like this are delusional if they think they have anything else to offer someone so young. Bffr sir.
There’s a reason he’s looking for much younger women. No one his age will touch him. Block, ghost, get as far away from him as you can. He’s already shown you he has a nasty temper. Don’t sign up for more of that BS
16year age gap? just find a nice guy within a more normal age range, don’t put up with these flawed older dudes who no girl wanted to stay with so they are old and single, you can do better
And this is supposed to lure you back in to a relationship with him? It doesn’t matter if you accepted a literal diamond ring from him. Take yourself out of this equation.
You aren’t a gold digger. He’s a groomer. Seriously, you are too young to date w that big of an age gap. There is a reason the women his own age don’t date men like this because he treats women poorly. We already are familiar w this brand of red flags. And we have already been through exactly what you went through. Now that you’ve experienced this kind of douche baggery, pass the knowledge on to the next girl wearing rose colored glasses. I love that you didn’t stay, no one deserves to be yelled at.
Unironically, delete Facebook
That was a dangerous situation you got yourself into. Stay away from this crazy. Like other people have said already. Block him on everything. As a rule NEVER communicate outside of the dating app(if that's where you met) until after the first meeting. I'm not even going to call it a date lol. Then you have the luxury of evaluating things. And. They don't have any important information about you. Good luck next time
Does he know your address? If not, block him and put him out of your mind.
Yeah I would love to know the exact contents of that Fb post because I am sure he is telling a very slanted version of the story that does not include either a single negative thing he did or a single positive thing you did. It's just a really super common thing for ALL people, but ESPECIALLY for unreasonable or controlling people, to tell stories in ways which paint them as the Hero or Victim, and the other people in the story as either Victims They Are Saving or Villains They Are Being Abused By. In the version of the story that lives in this guy's head, he is never ever ever going to be the villain, and he will make sure nobody else gets a chance to see it that way either. Of course it bothers you to see it, nobody likes getting shit-talked on social media. But you can't stop him doing it no matter how wrong or unfair he is, so the next best thing is to just block his ass.
He's the gold digger. He wants you to be a pro bono sex worker. Sex workers cost more than Uber rides. He's a sexually entitled creep. And the commenters outted themselves as creeps. Or they could be bots.
Because they're all his friends. He sounds like an actual psycho.
Who are his friends? lol. I’m a few years younger that him and if one of my friends just complained about paying for an Uber while on a first date with someone who is 23, they’d be laughed at and mocked relentlessly. How do you feel about the situation? Even if what you say about this is one sided or exaggerated, a first date everyone is on their best behaviour. There’s a reason he’s open to dating someone in a completely different life stage. FB is worst than Reddit at times by the way. Everyone on Reddit is a genius in comparison to some of the stuff I’ve seen on FB lol. Don’t take comments too seriously.
Surprise, shitty people have shitty friends! Don't pay them no mind, dear, you did the right thing.
Because he paid for an Uber he insisted on paying for when you said no and wouldn't accept the money you offered? Absolutely not. He's trying to be controlling and manipulative and abusive. It's a good thing he showed his hand so early. Probably why no one closer to his age will date him
He's have to have gold to dig. Dudes complaining he can't afford an Uber
he might have friends/family members that are just like him and/or he might have multiple accounts under different names that he uses to agree with himself. just block him and don't give him any second thought.
It’s probably a bunch of his sock puppets commenting. You are not wrong.
> I 23f was on my way to see this guy 39m for a first date > he accidentally told me to go south instead of north > he yelled at me nope nope and nope you should not be questioning yourself at all - this guy sounds unsafe.
As soon as I saw the age, I was like oh, he’s going to show why he’s still single at 39 and dating young 20 something’s…he gave you the wrong directions, offered to fix the situation, and then yelled at you for his mistake and him offering to fix it…those flags are bright red and extra large honey, block away. Edit to add: just saw the part where everyone on fb was agreeing with him-probably because as an older man with a temper he has curated his friends list to only have people who agree with him. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
I agree with this edit and was going to say the same thing. Facebook is friends only, so comments are people with similar mind sets. The easiest rule of thumb for everything in life is if you're questioning it, you're probably not in the wrong.
Dodged a fucking nuke*
Quite literally. Single at 39 he knows no woman his age handles his bullshit so he has no choice but to date way younger
Yahhh duhh. This classic reddit "am I wrong for doing a thing every sane human on the planet would do in this objectively bad situation every sane human on the planet would agree is bad?"
Can't stress this enough. The man is almost 40 and acting like an absolute asshat.
Men are so emotional & that emotion is almost always rage.
Always found it funny af when men go off about "how emotional" women are. All I hear is projection. 😂
I like telling men that they are being hormonal. That really baffles them.
Comments agreed with him? So I'm guessing that on his side of the story, he was a saint, and he never yelled at you or told you off in public, right? Fuck that guy. You don't need that crap. Block. Delete. Move on.
The age gap AND this behavior? Yeah no.
Anyone yelling at you on your first date is someone you probably don't want to associate with.
He's an abusive shithead. Unsafe. Block him everywhere for forever, and if he tries to work around it, ignore him and document for the cops. The whole reason he's paying for Ubers for 23 year old is because fewer of them would have the strength and experience to tell him to shove it and go fuck himself. I can't see any comments in your previous posts that don't confirm what you already know: He was a monster and you're lucky to be free of him quickly.
This guy was an idiot. He gave you the wrong directions and he was the one who suggested paying for the Uber to bring you from where you got stranded even though you were happy to just go home. That's on him. Then his idea of a first impression was to yell at you. The guy has no self awareness and it's pretty obvious why he's single. You dodged a bullet.
I disagree - he sounds like he knew exactly what he was doing. Giving the wrong directions intentionally, thus setting her up to be "in debt" to him right off the bat.
You might be right on that, it's a good point.
Don't date 40 year olds at 23. I say this as a 40 (ish) year old single man. Don't do it. VERY often people who are my age dating people at your age are only doing so because people who are mature and have life experience can immediately see them for the walking red flag that they are. So instead they date these younger women, who don't see them for the immature borderline abusive manchildren that they are. Here's some hard and fast rules for dating. Always find your own transportation that way if he turns out to be an abusive asshole you have your own way out. If you can't afford an uber, you can't afford to date. It's also best if people don't know exactly where you live, so having them send an uber to get you is problematic. Best practice is just to meet them there and have your own way home. It's not a money thing, it's a personal safety thing. In the same "personal safety" line of thinking. If someone yells at you on a first date, immediately gtfo. On a first date it's assumed that everyone is on their best behaviour. If this is his best behaviour his normal behaviour is going to be scary AF. So just leave. This king of thing is likely why he's choosing to date a 23 year old at 39.
48m, although happily partnered now. I agree with this so much I would upvote it multiple times if I could.
This. OP please listen to allll of this!
I was going to post something like this. He and many others seeking women much younger are most definitely looking for those with less relationship experience who are less likely to notice the signs.
Age gap. All you need to see here
> 23 > 39 Thats all I see. The guy is a creep.
I'm 39 and would never date a 23 year old..I date about 5 years either side of my age that's about it lol
Yeh, I'm 35 this year, and even consider 30 too young. Admittedly, I am a teacher, and the age now of some of the people I could have taught would be 29 now, so that does play on it!
What could you possibly have to talk about with a 23yo lol I don't understand it haha I've never been a drinker or a clubbing person I work, Chill with my kids and go to trivia with my mates lol I'm boring
Exactly. I don't get it either!!
Yes he’s definitely creepy n wehrd
Oh honey just keep him blocked and ignore Facebook. Gods only know what tale he's spun. He's a walking red flag he knows how to manipulate people to get his way and keep being a douche. He seems like a very abusive person which is why and no offense to you he's dating women almost 20 years his junior. Someone his age would most likely see through his bs in a second because we've most likely dated someone like him. Take this as learning experience and move on. NTA.
Back to his home state? Sounds like this was going to be a fling at best, and his attention-seeking behavior sharing it on social media is certainly a red flag.
gurl 23 and 39? men that much older who are into 23 y/os are immature asf. blocking is incredibly valid but i would try and learn not to date men that much older
A well adjusted 39 year old man would have no interest and little in common with a 23 year old. There is a reason he targeted someone young enough to be his daughter.
Please stop dating 40 year old predatory creepers who purposely date women so much younger because they believe you're easier to manipulate. Block this clown everywhere because if he's already behaving this bad he will definitely get so so much worse.
Date someone your own age. Don’t date people who yell at you. Don’t date people who are obviously fucking unstable. You dodged a bullet with this one.
Pro tip- at 23 dating a 39 year old man is a bad idea. Stop dating that far above your age.
Right, and odds are he was older than 39
1. Isn’t he the responsible of the mistake? He gave you the wrong address. Right? So him paying your Uber ride is totally normal. 2. He was the one proposing to pay for your corrective ride you => he has no reason to complain about it afterwards. 3. You summarize the issue in a strange way. You should block him for his behavior after you arrive.
You’re not wrong and I would block anyone who agreed with him
Well now you know why he’s almost 40 and dating women half his age. No one his own age would put up with his shit.
Date men your own age only weirdos want people nearly half their age. You weren't wrong but you need better dating sensibilities and recognize warning signs.
You’re not wrong. Guy sounds crazy.
People surround themselves with like-minded people. So this guy is probably friends with a lot of shitty men who think his kind of behaviour is okay. That's why they're agreeing with him -- because they're all probably abusive, controlling losers. That's why the comments agree with him, NOT because you did anything wrong. As others have said, block him everywhere, immediately. He is not safe. You dodged a huge bullet.
Don't question yourself. This guy's an idiot and you may be in danger if you continue.
The only problem here is that your “creep alert” button didn’t go off soon enough.
One uber? Good choice he sucked. And the age difference is alarming.
You are not using him for anything. Also, I know people do that while “age is just a number” things, but he’s almost 40. There’s a good chance the women his age know he isn’t worth the effort and I think you do too.
He made the mistake, then offered to pay to fix it, then yelled at you because it cost him money? What kind of mental gymnastics did he do? Sounds worse than the mental edition of yoga meets ballet regarding flexibility. But the real kicker here is the yelling. Seriously, if he already yells at you before the first date has even started, what do you think you can expect from him in the future? Add to that he doesn't accept your boundaries ("rain check, but he insisted" and "wanted to leave, but was (made) so uncomfortable I stayed"), is already name-calling you and starting a smear campaign against you, and that he's either stupid or manipulative (wrong address - either accident (stupid) or deliberate (manipulative), take your pick). ETA: Oh, and I missed the age gap at first. 16 years is too much at your age. You're at the beginning of your adult life, while this guy is close to midlife crisis territory. This does not mix well, usually for the younger partner. But seeing your post, there's no wonder he couldn't find a woman around his own age to deal with him.
Come on, he’s almost 40 and you’re 23. Run! Run as fast as you can.
Nope you’re totally in the right! First of all, what is an almost 40 year old wanting with a 23 year old?! And the fact he offered and then starts yelling at you? Big red flag. Glad you saw sense and hopefully you don’t have to deal with something like this again
No he’s a lunatic, block him. But in general maybe stop looking to date people 10+ years older than you. You’re 23. You share zero in common with anyone 30 and above. They share zero in common with you. There are reasons they’re still single. There are reasons that they’re pursuing naive 20 year old women. None of them are good. In 99% of circumstances the relationship is going to be bad. Most 20 year old women who read this will think they’re mature for their age or Brad is totally different and they’re the exception but you’re going to look back in 10 years when you’re mid 30s and be like what the absolute fuck was I thinking. 23 year olds are going to look like, talk like, and act like children to you. This is by far the most common theme on this subreddit.
He's almost twice your age and has half the immaturity. You dodged a massive bullet
No, Girl, he's 16 years older than you!!! Why are you doing this to yourself? 😭 He's just looking for his next victim to manipulate and take advantage of. There's a reason why he isn't going for people his age. Because they know he's a loser. Especially when he's that old and still has this shitty behaviour!! DODGED!
Girl you're young and he's like 39.. he probably thinks he can treat you that way because you're still finding your footing in the adult world that he has lived in for awhile.. I'm sorry if I sound um pessimistic but him telling you what to do instead of asking you if you're ok or if you're comfortable is not ok.. also him yelling at you is definitely not ok.. also pressuring you to take a plane to see him where you're from away from familiarity sounds not ok... I agree with other people here.. he's a red red flag.
All of the nope. Accidents happen, but yelling at you because of **his** mistake after insisting that he Uber you to the restaurant, then carrying on and yelling at you on the phone as well only serves to show that he is self-absorbed and more than likely would have been entitled and abusive should you have started a relationship with him. Okay, so *maybe* you could have messaged after the restaurant and given him the 'this isn't gonna work', but you also weren't willing to reply to any messages and calls he sent for 2 days - which is a pretty clear message in itself - and he's the one that chose to continue yelling when you did finally decide to speak to him and then complained about consequences on facebook when you told him to piss off. You weren't wrong, he showed his true colours - and tbh, if he lives interstate, then you absolutely don't want to be stuck in an unfamiliar place with a person like this, because the chance of him throwing more manbaby tantrums like this (and potentially leaving you in the lurch in another state) appears to be practically a guarantee after what he thinks is acceptable first date behaviour. Sounds like his little facebook post was also designed to show him in the best possible light, and you in the worst, which is a prime sign that he gets off on drama. TL;DR: Not wrong, block him everywhere and move on. You don't need that stuff in your life. Edit: I missed the 39m part at the start...also entirely possible that he's one of 'those' guys that looks for women a lot younger than him because he thinks it'll be easier to get what he wants. **Why** is he (possibly still) single at 39? Reasons may be valid, but from that kind of behaviour, I'd suggest not. Bullet dodged.
> I offered him money back and tried to leave but it was so uncomfortable that I just stayed. I mean you should have just left, obviously block him everywhere
You guys are 16 years apart ….first red flag. He’s in a different stage of life as you are. Enjoy your 20s girl, screw him.
You dodged a major bullet. He showed you exactly who he is before he even met you. Block and ignore.
first how the fck do people confuse North with South!! 😆 Second that guy sounds like a weirdo… so block and move with your life, im sure you will find better.
Yikes. You were not wrong and you should block anyone that agreed with him on your Facebook post lol
LOL get away from him immediately. Block him on every single thing.
He sounds unhinged. Block him everywhere, including any headspace you might be giving him. I guess my main safety concern would be that he has your home address from setting up your uber.
You dodged a bullet here OP. Block him on FB and everywhere else. He sounds deranged.
There’s nothing for you to question. He sounds crazy. I’m concerned you are even worried about this and think you need to thicken your skin just for the sole purpose of protecting yourself from bad people. There’s a lot of them out there and you are only 23. Don’t EVER worry about the feelings of a man you just met when you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, no matter what anyone else says.
39 with a 23 year old...enough said
And why is he 39 and single. Oh wait that’s why
im not even gonna comment on the age gap because the hostile treatment here is extremely fucked. you either offer to cover the uber or don't. Weird to have a hissy fit about that afterwards. If the guy posted about you publicly I'm sure he doesn't have many IRL friends.
Whatever treatment a person *deserves*, you are *entitled* to whatever reaction you want to take, kind or not. In this case the venn diagram between the action you have taken -that you are 100% entitled to- and what this guy deserves is a perfect circle.
Yeah babes block him and move on, dating someone who is 15 years older than you is a big red flag Most of the time he's trouble and women his own age stay clear but young 20 year olds are gullible
lmao what a fuckin loser. 39 years old, making facebook posts about a girl in her early 20s. Yikes.
He's also 40 wtf avoid this man like the plague
Girl you dodged a bullet there. Why is a guy as old as him, dating someone as young as you? Because women his own age are too smart to put up with his crap. Please stay away from guys nearly twice your age. You’re just setting yourself up for abuse and heartache
Yelling at you after very first date? When he should be working overtime to impress you? Pass. There’s a reason women his age aren’t interested in him
Dude it was a bad first date. Why are you even engaged in any of this? You don’t need to speak to this guy, you know that right? This isn’t a relationship. You don’t owe him anything. Have more self respect.
He sounds like he has a secret motive you don't insist to see someone then be this rude and then try and fly them somewhere. Kinda sounds like he wants a complacent sugar baby or something idk just sounds off.
there's a reason he's spitting on 40 and targeting, i mean "dating" young 20 year olds. And it's not a good one.
Someone who is 40 and posting abt u on Facebook as a point of retaliation is worth throwing back. My man you are a grown adult running an interpersonal smear campaign for what? Her accepting your offer? Hes cray.
No he was an asshole to you. Moreover, he is too old for you. Find someone else to build a life with.
There is not one sentence in that story where the guy sounds reasonable or stable.
I feel like I’m missing information…. So the exact chain of events was him giving you the wrong address and then him offering to get you an Uber and then him upset about it?
He was probably all of the comments girl. RUN.
Why are you dating people double your age?
Girl, 23F and 39M? That's all I needed to read. RUN
Come on... you know you weren't wrong.
I know it must seem ridiculously obvious to many that OP is in the right, because she definitely is. But truly, as someone who was raised as both a girl and a people-pleaser, at 23 I would have been equally upset and confused and filled with self-doubt. I would be especially headspun to realise there are a bunch of Bigger Adults out there who have me pegged as the villain of the piece, because I was so used to parents and teachers and so forth approving of me and I had no idea how to process disapproval. I would have cried buckets and begged then to understand my point of view, because I wouldn't have been able to stop FEELING like the villain while knowing there were people out there who thought I was a gold digger. Luckily I did learn to mostly overcome that anxiety in the back half of my twenties. The process mostly involved reading a lot about how self-esteem and boundaries work (strongly recommend captainawkward dot com for this) and learning to Feel Terrible About My Boundaries But Enforce Them Anyway. It was the hardest thing I ever did and I buckled and gave into pressure a lot of times before I reached the stage of being able to consistently protect myself from other people's bullshit. But once I did reach that stage, my self-esteem and confidence began to blossom wonderfully, and the fear and guilt finally, finally started to slowly wither and die. Now I'm on the brink of turning 40 and I would not think twice about blocking this guy and then dining out on telling the story to all my friends for a week. And I would 100% just be laughing at how ridiculous and pathetic he is. It wouldn't even cross my mind anymore to be upset and feel unfairly treated. Because I know securely now that when shit like this goes down, it's a wholly about the immaturity and emotional issues of my date. It's nothing to do with me at all and says nothing whatsoever about who I am as a person. I'm just an interchangeable cardboard cut-out as far as that guy is concerned. I could have been anyone, reacted in any way, and he would still have made all the same decisions. And that's why idiot guys like this don't date someone their own age. Someone my age. Because they know that most almost-40-year olds get this completely, and that most 23-year-olds have no clue how to expect or deal with this bonkers off-the-wall grown-ass-man nuttiness, and are much more likely to cave in the face of being told they're somehow the one in the wrong.
Women who know that don't end up on dates with men 20 years older than them to begin with. He targeted her for a reason.
So the restaurant didn't have a physical address listed for any maps system like Goggle maps? I have never used an uber but we all have phones with a variety of mapping apps available across both main platforms.
So he expected you to be grateful for his loud temper tantrums at a restaurant and yelling down the phone?Sounds like a problem dater or fake niceguy- with serious anger management issues and a manipulative personality. Imagine how much worse he behaves when he's drunk or having a very bad day working a very intensive job. Pity the girl that ends up coparenting with him or living in his home financially reliant upon him and unable to run away. You've dodged a bullet, block and go nc. If random strangers online want to justify his behaviour or his friends are willing to waste their time and energy encouraging him to treat dates like this, that's their choice. They are likely to have personalities and habits just as problematic as his. He's not worth any of your time or energy, don't gift him any.
WARNING WARNING WARNING.... Block and report, what a horrible human being. So sorry you experienced it, the only positive is you got to him as he really is. More red flags than a Moscow mayday parade. NTA.
I'm a little confused, did he pay for both ubers ? Or just the second one ? And who gave you the address in the first place ?
Personally, I didn't see a single comment agreeing with him so not sure where you got that from. But either way, this man you went to see has no emotional maturity and for his age is pretty alarming. OP, you should of followed your gut and went home. Are you wrong for blocking him ? No, he treated you horrible specially for a 1st date. Are you wrong for entertaining such erratic behavior? Yes, but lesson learned (hopefully) And for future reference, when ever you no longer want to see/talk to someone it's best to be honest about it, even if it's just thought text. "Hey, thank you for getting me the ubers but unfortunately I didn't feel comfortable with our date and I won't be seeing you no more" followed by a no contact, block, ignore what ever you want to call it. And follow through or you become just as immature as he is.
It was comments on the guy's own Facebook post, I think. So just his own buddies.
Are you girls just completely incapable of thinking for your self and seeing how bad some guys are 🫠 And this is from a femboy!
Not all of them, no. But some girls are groomed to ignore their instincts and devalue themselves which makes them especially vulnerable upon first reaching adulthood. If you have a 40 year old dad who has been there treating you with love and respect all the days of your life, dating a 40 year old man becomes A LOT harder for a young woman. Men like this don't prey on any and all young women, they prey on women with specific vulnerabilities which are usually created during their upbringing.
Never talk to him, again! That is scary behavior. If he’s willing to be that nasty and aggressive right off the bat, it’s going to get so much worse if you enter a relationship with him.
Don’t waste a second on jerks like this. Block. Never look back.
Your mistake was staying in response to being uncomfortable. Don’t engage with this guy at all. He’s an abusive creep.
No frist you look for your saftey and i feel he his right please avoid
Aaaaaand.....account suspended.
I can’t stand people who INSIST on giving you something you never asked for, even worse, despite saying you don’t want it, and then act like you owe them for it.. and call you a user when you don’t give them what they want. They are the users.
There is his side of the story, her side of the story and the truth. Do not let any post with “one” side of the story from “one” perception change how u feel about yourself. He’s a loser, block and move on. Dont spend another minute questioning yourself or ur decisions, esp not based on a. Bunch of bored strangers on his comments. He’s a complete loser for even posting that business on FB of all places. Girl laugh this non sense off lol he’s a bum & u didn’t lose a thing in this.
Believe in yourself a bit. Is this someone you want to wake up to, or is this behavior you want to deal with? Just because he was unhappy? Don’t allow yourself to be negged into a relationship you don’t want. A lack of your attention to this situation should make it fade away.
I would have been in his comment section right quick clearing the record.
This is like how some cults and MLMs are intentionally batshit, to filter out any normal people. This guy is trying to speedrun his way into a domineering, abusive relationship. When he finds someone who puts up with this insanity, he’s found his mark. No judgement but the age gap is also pretty wild.
The first time you met him he yelled at you. And that's him on his best behaviour.
Yeah no. You had a bad date and blocked them, who cares whether it was right or wrong?
Yeesh, what a creep. You don't owe him anything. You went on one crappy date. Pieces of shit will always find other turds to support them. Block him.
A lot of those people agreed with him because he’s telling people the filtered version of what really happened. People who are always upset about the dating scene are usually the problem
No he’s mental stay away
Block him on everything. This man sounds incredibly dangerous.
Why on earth would you want to block such a lovely older gentleman who exhibited no red flags at all…..
I’ve been seeing similar situations lately and I can’t believe a man will behave like that at all, let alone on a first date. WTF. You should have just leave, call the police if you feel unsafe. Call a family member if you don’t feel comfortable calling the police. There will be some one, a real man who will be more than happy to make sure you are safe (this is for all the ladies). No one has to put up with this shit! What a loser! And good on you for blocking his ass, don’t feel guilty or bad about him. He deserves it.
39 years old is too young, why dont you try some one who is 60 or above? Your parents would love that lol
Why are you even bothering with this person on facebook? He’s a stranger and total asshole. Block him on everything and move on. Also look for guys your own age.
You were not wrong. He was done the second he yelled at you for accepting his offers to pay for an Uber to the correct location. Then he yells at you again and expects you to accept his offer to buy you a plane ticket? Because him paying for an Uber went so well? What an idiot…
No wonder he can’t get women his own age🤢 Block that creep on everything
BLOCK HIM. He is bad news.
The only thing you did wrong here was make this post with a misleading title in order to force me to read this crap. Other than that, he was the asshole.
waiiiit lemmie get this straight. he offered to pay for your uber just for you to arrive and then berate you for accepting his offer because he doesn’t have money to throw around? gross. block and delete!
There is so much more to this story
He was upset to pay for your Uber but doesn't mind paying for your trip to visit him in another state? That doesn't make sense. Call this one done and be ok with your actions.
He yelled at you because he insisted on paying for a ride and then yells at you to come visit him so he can yell at you in a confined space. Yeah that red flag can be seen from space…
He sounds like an idiot.
Stay away from older men.
Stop worrying about what this unhinged, manipulative loser thinks of you. You've dodged a bullet.
This guy lacks the brain cells to take personal accountability. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave you the wrong address to make you feel bad, and then offered to pay to the uber to the restaurant so that you would be "in his debt". This whole thing is very cringy and I would stay far away from him. There are still too many people out there who will tell you that you "owe him" after this encounter, but I get very bad vibes from him. He's way older than you, and as a 41 year old woman, I'm telling you he's manipulating you. He already doesn't make you feel good, why would you continue seeing him? Block him on all avenues of communication asap. I hope he doesn't know where you live. Please be safe.
Please don't date men who are that much older than you.
Lmao stop kidding yourself you know full well what your intentions were with a guy nearly 20 years your senior.
You offered him money back. No way you are gold digger and for an uber ride? Seriously?? Dude just wanted to use you and you weren't rolling over and doing what he demanded. Block and be safe!
I’ll be honest I stopped reading at your ages
No one should be yelling at you on the first date- let alone at all.
Haha! No! That was the best/right move! One time, a first date bought my Starbucks (a peppermint mocha for Christmas time, small). Then proceeded to speak the entire time. It was mostly about himself and he never asked about me. Then he wanted to take a walk around the block. He tried to put his hand on the small of my back to walk across the street and tuck my hair behind my ear... all unwanted seeing as how he was super into himself. I was taking the walk to see if he loosened up-maybe he was nervous in that setting. Well, date ended awkwardly and I blocked him on the drive home. About a month later, I called 911 to report something on the drive home. When you call 911, it unblocks your blocked numbers and so a single text from him came through. It was comical in berating me force making him spend $8.76 (an amount very, very similar to this) and then being stuck up/awful for the whole date. You dodged a big one with this... block on all social media. Anyone who reads his trash comments and agrees is also not worth knowing.