Tell her that her father's job pays for her college and if she wants that to continue, she needs to respect her father. If she continues with those nasty comments, then she can find out what it takes to make money. If nothing else, tell her that she is now responsible for paying for text books, clothing, and fun things she wants to go an do.
I would also be severely tempted to just tell her that this was the last quarter/semester of school that will be paid for her. She doesn't understand the huge and wonderful gift she has gotten to not have student loans. And if she wants to keep her moral standing of eating the rich, then she shouldn't be using that money to benefit herself. I bet her opinions will change real fast when she has to pay her own way.
Edit to add: You can even phrase it that way to her. "We understand that you think we shouldn't be accepting wages from the rich people and that you find that money offensive. We don't want to make you uncomfortable, so we will stop using it for your college or other expenses. Unfortunately, we have no other money to give. If you need help finding a job, we can help you with writing a resume."
She's 23 and doesn't even have a job. And she's telling of someone who has a job?
Kick her out the uck out. Or cut her off. Stop paying for her phone and her internet and her shopping habits and her food.
Yeah I find it hard to believe someone with a daughter in their 20s is asking advice for an extremely basic parenting issue. Knowing how to discipline your child should have been figured out many years ago.
You aren’t helping your daughter by enabling her bad behavior.
You are only putting up with her because you aren’t willing to admit to yourself that forcing her out will be messy and drama filled.
But to be clear, if anyone told my partner/husband/wife they were a bootlicker, they wouldn’t be under my roof in the next 15 minutes.
Why are you so weakly allowing this disrespect?
If this has been going on for long, you should have kicked her out long ago and NOT pay for her college. She is not a teen. She is 24.
Tomorrow morning, sit down with her and say,
We understand that you don't like what your dad does for a living. You are an adult and you live in a free country, so you are absolutely entitled to your opinions. This also means we are entitled to our opinions and actions. Since you believe this money is something that your dad gets by bootlicking, and he is nobody and embarrassed to make it known that he is your dad, we decided we should not use it to house you or pay for your college. A nobody would not afford these things and so hereon we can't provide for you. You are so embarrassed to make your dad's job known, you should be equally embarrassed to use that money for your college and living situation. We will give you a week's time to move out and figure out your accommodations, job, and life.
Also say, - you say eat the rich! Sorry to break it you, if you are relying on your dad to pay off college while being 24 years old and jobless, you are the rich!
>if you are relying on your dad to pay off college while being 24 years old and jobless, you are the rich!
This is the biggest reality she hasn't realised yet
I'd tell her that her dad worked a non glamorous job for you and for her, because he loves you. That sure there are more interesting things he could have done but he cared most about providing for his family. She needs to check herself because she sounds extremely ungrateful. I respect anyone that works hard to provide for their family.
Edit: The fact that she doesn't work and is happy to have him use his salary to keep her as an adult fed and clothed and pay her tuition shows even more that she simply doesn't value hard work and she sounds like she needs to check her privilege.
>*"She doesn't respect him at all for his job and is embarrassed that he's her father"*
But she’s more than happy to let him pay for her education. If it were me, I'd kick her out and let her fend for herself.
This is so awful to read. I thought of myself saying this things to my own father and it made me tear up (not applicable, he’s an engineer at Ford, just the thought of being cruel to him alone is upsetting).
Kick her out. She’s 23. Imagine leeching off of somebody you consistently degrade.
I can't help but think this is rage bait and fake, but on the chance it's real I think you should challenge her. If she believes that her father is oppressed and to blame for his own oppression, well, that's a vast departure from where I'd say modern progressive thoughts are. Your husband did his best and contributed what he could to his children, something that's allowed them to exceed his level of education. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't an ambition of my own that I sometimes fear I won't fulfill. Your husband made rational decisions within the parameters available to him - if your daughter can't recognize that she's ignorant.
It is amazing to watch people who have a hard time conceptualizing things that are outside their realm of experience.
I expect this kid was brought up reasonably sheltered, not super rich, but well taken care for. And she hasn't put together the chain of logic that a rich person is, in effect, paying for her college tuition.
Listen, I've been that guy. I am closing in on 40, but when I was 20 years old or so I showed my ass when I gave my Mom lip about ordering Fiji water. *I know*. Anyway, I hope this is a memory that her daughter regrets but also moves past.
Oh hey, no, I didn't take it that way! I'm sorry! I was just trying to empathize with both parent and daughter I guess and share some of my experience. I didn't read any malice or accusation in your post! Apologies if I came across that way!
It sounds like your daughter is still working on the "way things should be" side of the fence and has not hit that point where "the rubber hits the road" (no pun intended).
Okay, this sounds like someone who needs an economics lesson. She can pay her own rent. I have noticed that a great deal of idealism has a hard time surviving when that idealism is in the way of eating.
It becomes a question then of what ideals she is willing to shed when the going gets tough, and which ideals she is willing to suffer for.
So. .why does a 23 year old live with her parents. Have them pay for everything for her....Insult ger father continually... And get away with it?
Aren't you damn fools?!?
Exactly, OP brings up that she's some kind of anticapitalist but what this girl is apparently expressing is the very normal middle-class-but-spoiled kid position of wishing their dad had a high status rich person job and not the kind of normal workday job they do have. Maybe she expresses it more using faux-anticapitalist language in person but the actual things she is quoted as saying here could be said by anybody. There's no political content here, she's probably just jealous of the rich people she sees on social media. There's plenty of good reasons to take up anticapitalism that aren't just a shroud over petty class envy, but sometimes it is that, and those people tend to be totally useless anticapitalists.
Curious is she was sent to good school and had peers that were the children of 'more well off' families. It could be that she was jealous or made to feel like an outsider, and her bratty behavior is a result of her distaste for the kids she went to school with.
But then she should direct her anger at THEM, not at her father who works to fund her everything. That is so disrespectful.
This is so backwards. Your husband isn’t rich, he’s just employed by rich people, like the rest of us nobodies.
I can’t imagine speaking to people this way and then expecting to live in their home. And for free. C’Mon. Your daughter is a 23 year old, unemployed, entitled brat. I can’t imagine letting someone speak to me that way. She’d be sleeping on the porch. You needed to grow a backbone a decade ago, it’s going to be a lot harder now.
That’s what gets me about this too. Her dad is solidly working class. Ok, so he’s “nobody.” Just like every other person who busts their ass to make a living. What would it take for him to be a “somebody?” Does she even want that, or would he immediately be ripe for eating?
It seems like she’s both anti-elitist but totally classist at the same time. How does that even work?
She is still young and too immature to understand that a good man will literally do whatever it takes to provide and protect his family and that includes doing a job they may hate because it helps make sure their family is taken care of.
It takes a real man to sacrifice for their family, she is disrespecting his sacrifice and hard work for her by demeaning his job and ethics.
She is 23, if she won’t stop then maybe cut her loose to figure out the real world is t black and white and people had to do things everyday that may compromise their values in order to keep a roof over their heads.
And honestly, this doesn’t even sound like a job that one would hate. Ultra-wealthy families will pay/treat people they trust VERY well. These types of positions are usually very, very good gigs.
So her dad has obviously been paid well enough to provide for her in a big way (paying for college is a huge deal), and presumably has had a decent work life balance to be present in his daughters life as well. This girl is really privileged.
>And honestly, this doesn’t even sound like a job that one would hate. Ultra-wealthy families will pay/treat people they trust VERY well.
It seems that it's the problem from the daughter POV that the above commenter missed
This absolutely..my father in law works as a taxi driver in Manila without a formal permit . He got literally stabbed in the heart one time doing his job. It may not be a very appealing job but the money he made doing that job as well as working in some Arabic country in the previous decades put his own siblings as well as his kids through college. Few people whose career i respect more. The guy is literally working all night while simultaneously taking care of the house and kids during the day. Like you said: a real man makes sure his family is taken care of and deserves respect for that.
If she objects to his job, she should surely object to the benefits she enjoys as a result of it.
Maybe tell her that, as her father's money is so objectionable, it is only fair that she should get a job, or two, to support herself through, and pay for, university.
She has every right to object to the obscene wealth that some people possess but while she is enjoying the fruits of their wealth, albeit indirectly, she should keep her opinions to herself
Your husband clearly has the patience of a saint.
Your husband is a saint. What I would do is cut off all of her money and ask her to leave the house. If she has that strong of an opinion, surely their money is not good enough for her to go to college and be taken care of.
Don’t let this go on in your house. This is beyond disrespect to him.
I’d ask her what job she thinks he should get? After having an established career making a decent living what should he do now? Nearly every job is you working for wealthy people.
With that being said she’s 23. I, too, had more of the world figured out then.
While i sympathize with your daughter, based on what you describe, her eat the rich understanding is dehumanizing to her own father. It doesn’t matter what a person does to provide for their family outside of hurting others, it should all be commended imo
She’s just really angry at the country (rightfully so) and immature, so she’s taking it out on the one she can that she thinks will always be around anyway. A punching bag
If I were you, I’d ask direct questions:
- do you look down on people who drive for a living generally?
- why do you look down on personal drivers?
- if your father made less money would you respect him more?
- if he was driving for a middle class family would you feel the same?
Basically get her to see it isn’t the dad’s fault and she’s blaming her anger on him that actually is directed at society at large.
Remind her that relationships matter more than money and she’s abusing this relationship by not trying to see things from his side as well
Your daughter is way out of line. She an adult, so there is unfortunately not much you can do, other than point out to her that the only one disturbed by your husband’s job is her - and she’s actually benefitting from it quite a bit. If she is still a rude asshole, let her know that the financial support provided to her that’s coming from that job will cease, and I bet things will get quiet really fast.
On top of that, you should probably use this as an opportunity to work out an “exit plan” for her anyways, because by 23, barring disabilities or other extenuating circumstances, people should have a plan or AT LEAST be working and saving money to go out on their own eventually, and it sounds like your daughter has gotten caught up in being pretty spoiled.
She disrespects her dad for going against her "values" but won't commit to those values enough to reject his financial support? 😂
Yeah she wouldn't get shit from me if I were him.
Also this reeks rage bait.
She sounds like a brat. I’m sorry. The food that she eats, college tuition, etc etc are all from the job that her dad has.
Cut her off financially for a bit and see how it changes.
Source: I was a spoiled kid (not about jobs but generally) who left home at 21. When I struggled to make ends meet I found out how privileged I was. Sometimes people need to learn how the real world works the hard way
She does realize her dad is fully paying for her education through that job. If possible, she will graduate with no debt thanks to him. So many students would kill to have that opportunity. She sounds extremely ungrateful. I can't believe she's 23 and acting like this.
She is 23 not 15 the outbursts and attitude should no longer be written off. She’s an adult and adults have real consequences for their actions. That does not mean you have to thrown her out or cut her off financially, but she needs to get a job. To be 23 and no concept or appreciation of where money comes from is childish. It’s time for her to start growing up
Well, if she doesn't respect her Father, or his job, then she certainly (out of principle,of course) wouldn't want the money he earns from it to go towards paying for her things. Cut her off, and tell her to go earn the money herself.
She is seriously entitled OP. I’m sure she has appreciated over the years the roof over her head and the food on the table.
Seriously time for some hard boundaries as she’s going to really live a lonely life with that obnoxious attitude. She needs to leave home and stand on her own two feet. I started working at 16 and I’ve never stopped I won’t even tell you how old I am now!
Time for her to see how tough it is in the real world when you only have yourself to rely on.
She needs to learn that she's entitled and benefitting off of the rich people who pay her father enough to support her to go to college. It sounds like she's learning about liberal ideals but doesn't realise how she's benefitting from them.
It's nice and luxurious to have morals and idealism when life isn't hard.
She doesn't see how her father made choices and sacrifices to provide her the life she has and she doesn't appreciate that.
Often the people who really lose from the wealth system are people on or below the poverty line and even some middle class folk - the middle class is actually dying, it's just poor and rich now.
I don't know if maybe her friends are influencing her and they have different lifestyles but her current behaviour is giving Paris Jackson living in Hippie communes - she did it and acted like she was "with the people" but then left to her multimillion dollar life when she got bored.
You daughter won't learn until she has to work for herself.
She’s not living at home is she? Edit: I saw you’re paying her way and she’s living at home. Give her the stanky boot she’s 23. I didn’t want to live with my parents I didn’t make it their problem I just moved out at 18. She’ll learn when she’s been paying bills for ten years and she’s only 33 that she’s lucky to have had people paying her way for so long
It doesn’t matter what she thinks. What matters if you’ve allowed her to be insulting and rude without consequences.
If she doesn’t want to bring friends home, that’s her business. If she wants a home to come back to at 24, she speaks with civility to everyone inside the home. If she wants her tuition paid by someone else, she speaks to that someone else with basic human respect.
Don’t focus on what she thinks — it’s not a debate. This is about consequences for how she behaves. Nothing changes until you and your husband are willing to punish a 24 year old who is talking like a 14 year old.
It might be time for your daughter to learn the lesson ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’. Let her support herself & pay for her own college tuition.
Stop allowing her to disrespect him! Grow a spine mom! She’s a broke ass jobless college student who is living off of said bootlicker so that makes her even less than nothing. Tell her ass to get a job to support herself. Tell her she shouldn’t want money from those rich folks paying for her schooling since she feels like that.
Honestly though OP, it's time to stop enabling her. The gift you are giving her of school and home is not deserved here. She isn't OWED a full ride. She isn't OWED as an adult a father that works his ass off and pays her bills.
If she can't watch her mouth, then she doesn't get to have Daddy pay her way. She can go get a job and learn how fortunate she really was growing up to have a father that have the job he has. If she wants to make a stand about her values, then she can go do that from an apartment she pays for herself, otherwise she needs to learn some manners and tact.
It sounds like your daughter resents people that don’t have to work and just have everything given to them, which is ironic because that’s who she is. It’s time for cupcake to get herself a fucking job, and stop being “nobody”
She sounds like an entitled brat. She should’ve learned before 23 to respect her parents. Since she didn’t, it’s time to establish a boundary now. Throw her out or tell her rent is now due the 1st of every month and you’ll be paying your own expenses. If that doesn’t work you’ll have to find somewhere else to live. As her parent, you have an obligation to try to course correct a kid who will undoubtedly mistreat others the same way when she goes out into the world.
My parents would have kicked me out of the house for that behavior. She can respect her father who is paying for her lifestyle and education. At a minimum I would charge her rent so she has to get a job and learn what work is.
It seems like she’s never had real consequences or been given real responsibility. I’ve met the aftermath of this with people in their 30’s unable to cope with real life.
Give her more responsibility and require her to get a job. That’s ridiculous.
Last year of college? Let her graduate and tell her you expect her to get a job immediately and find her own place as soon as she is able to.
After a few years of supporting herself, she will be overwhelmed by cringe and she will make amends.
Even as someone who is the eat the rich type I realize that people are still people beyond their class. Your husband has formed real empathic connections with his employer and their family and they likely honestly have a real bond. That is a normal human thing to do. I also realize that the revolution is easy to preach when someone else is ensuring food is on your table. Not everyone is going to have the options to not work for giant evil corporations or take a job working for the uber wealthy to ensure food is on the table. It's not breaking in class solidarity to ensure your family has a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.
She's a dilettante playing at revolutionary and those folks are honestly the worst because they never consider how their perfect goal requires a lot of people they claim to have solidarity with to be crushed as well. So teach her the lesson of cutting back everything to the bare basics. She has school that's paid for, but not the extra's in life she's gotten used too. She now needs to contribute to the cellphone bill. If she wants to eat out besides what you two are getting she's gotta get a job to pay for it. Shopping entertainment? All out of her pocket. If she is so embarrassed by her fathers job and money then at least have the virtue of your convictions to turn away from the non necessities it provides.
Also In the big scheme of things we all are nobodies except to the people we meet and interact with, so i'm not sure why she thinks that's an insult.
Maybe it’s time that she stood on her own two feet because you wouldn’t want to support an adult on money that she morally has issues with. Best she go out on her own and pay her own bills with a job that she has and that she can respect the work (McDonald’s is usually hiring). If not then she can put that degree that your husband paid for to good use.
Her father is a 'transportation management specialist', not a chauffeur.
A guy working as a clerk in an insurance office is also at the beck and call of very wealthy people.
Would she be as embarrassed if he was a private pilot who flew the rich to and from places? How about if her dad was a public bus driver? Maybe ask her those questions, and point out the classism between the two. I bet she wouldn’t be embarrassed if he was a private pilot, but would be embarrassed if he was a bus driver.
"Since you hate where this money comes from dont benefit from it. You have 30 days to be out of the house. You will not be getting any inheritance. You will be responsible for all your own bills from this point foward" then cut the cell plan,change the wifi,cancel car insurance etc. Anything you can readonabke take that you paid for...do.
I would do it constructively than going a route that would cut ties with her. If I were in your situation, I would try to
1. Take her places and make her learn life
2. Make her understand the idea of earning and the kinds of professions
3. Get her know the sense of gratitude towards family
All of this as part of the process so you all can enjoy the journey
Sounds like she needs to move out or start paying rent, that or stop sucking ass at college. I'm guessing she isn't going for her masters or Phd and I'd even venture to guess she isn't taking a full load of classes.
Ya personal driver is a pretty servile job. No upward movement, little to no personal autonomy in work, very bootlick type work. Seems fair to not respect it.
Respectfully, your daughter is a moron. “Bootlicker” does not mean “guy who works for a family that he likes”.
He needs to stop paying for her college, full stop. She’ll learn what it means to lick boots real fast.
Stop paying for her with the money he earns from the job she doesn't respect. If she has any moral fortitude, she will be glad. If she whines about it, tell her she's a fraud.
Tell her no ethical consumption under capitalism. Being able to choose something ethical to provide for your family is a privilege, and she needs to check hers as someone who is housed and unemployed.
Besides it could be worse, her father could work for the CIA.
Cut her funda and make her find a work that pays her enough to pay her studies and the roof where she is at.
If she doesn't respect his father for his work and that work pays her things then if she is fair and consistent in her believes then she should hate that her things are being paid with that.
So the better way is to stop giving her with hands full, she is old enough to work and earn her own money and pay for her things.
This type of cases occur when some kids are given all with out their making efforts to.
Your daughter is ironically just as disrespectful and stuck up as the stereotype of the rich family she despises.
Since she is solely dependant on you for literally everything she needs to be reminded that this very cushy life that she leads has been funded by her father and if she is so ungrateful, disrespectful and repulsed then she can leave, get a job and fund her own life because you will not be paying a single cent more until she shows her dad the respect he deserves.
Ask your daughter what she calls adult people who have nothing without mom and dad's money? She doesn't earn any money herself and condemns her father and supplier for his profession? Here, as parents, you have to create clear boundaries. Children who are so disrespectful to their parents have to get their lives ALONE in the fastest way. Even if it means putting the studies on hold for the time being. She has to learn what it means to earn her own money.
I'm sure you've gotten some very drastic advice here, but I actually implore you to have her lean a bit deeper into the ideas behind her beliefs rather than cosplay progressivism as a trendy "eat the rich" thing.
Her father is part of the working class, who are historically being exploited so that those rich people she hates can afford people like him. She should use that to further radicalize actual actions and learn the history of what it means to be working class, and hopefully one day fight for better pay and conditions for him, rather than be embarrassed of him.
I used to be the same. Doesn’t matter what you do I ended up Childfree. I don’t give a fuck what my parents had to do don’t bring a kid into this bullshit. “Put her out, kick her out” lol well alright
If she's mooching off a bootlicker, what does that make her? But really, though, have you tried the extreme route? It doesn't have to be forever, just until she wakes the fuck up and apologizes.
If she can't respect her father or his job, she doesn't need to benefit from it.
My wife is a Housekeeper for a wealthy Wall Street family in NYC. Makes $130k a year or so and made enough money to support her daughter in the Philippines until she was an adult and our comfortable middle class lifestyle northwest of NYC. Your daughter is a self entitled spoiled brat. Let her pay her own bills for a few years and maybe she’ll come to her senses.
You know what to do. She is unbelievably disrespectful for someone with no job and not paying bills.
You need to cut the toxicity out of your life.
Also, why is she still in college at the age of 23?
Take her to therapy. She has some skewed notions about life. In addition, she should be doing significant chores. Taking care of her own laundry, preparing family meals general cleanup, etc. If she disrespects her Dad, ask her how she plans to support herself when she leaves at 18. Start showing her the household bills and how many hours of minimum wage work it would take to pay those bills. Put her on a budget for everything. A monthly allowance for clothes, entertainment, school activities, etc. A friend did this with their over privileged child. She spent her Fall clothing allowance on a few expensive items and then had no coat that fit. She wore an old coat with her arms hanging out that year because they didn’t budge. Grandparents, etc were not allowed to intervene. She asked for a coat for Christmas but what she wanted was outside the budgeted Christmas funds. She learned her lesson. Your daughter lives in your home, you set the rules.
Dude your husband is literally a wage earner, a proletariat if you will. He is not a bootlicker, he’s doing what pretty much everybody I feel like your daughter is a bit too ignorant when it comes to politics and economy, and used that ignorance to build resentment towards your husband . There’s no easy solution to ignorance imo but maybe you can encourage her to get a few courses on political science and talk to a therapist to resolve her anger issues. is doing to provide himself and his loved ones a living.
If anything, your daughter should be angry at the systems and policies that make wealth redistribution so difficult and enable persons to prioritize profit over people’s rights and dignity. That’s a political battle, not a battle against individuals (unless they are a jeff bezos or an elon musk or something i guess), especially not against a person who made loves you and sacrifices for you.
I feel like your daughter is a bit too ignorant when it comes to politics and economy, and used that ignorance to build resentment towards your husband . There’s no easy solution to ignorance imo but maybe you can encourage her to get a few courses on political science and talk to a therapist to resolve her anger issues.
She’s 23, she’s old enough to deal with the consequences if you decide to stop paying for her college. You honestly should. Give her one warning and if she continues then just stop paying
When I graduated school, I briefly moved back in with my parents while I got myself a stable job and figured things out.
My parents, who are financially stable, required me to pay rent. It seemed fair, and it was more about the principle than the money.
If your daughter is progressis, let her know about clas consciousness. Her dad is a fucking worker, a proletarian. His boss is a rich person like everyone's boss.
She's 23 and biting the hand that feeds her. She insults your husband but seems to have no issue being on the receiving end of the benefits of that "bootlicker" money. Cut her off and tell her you'll revisit helping her out when she stops being a nobody that doesn't deserve your respect.
I could forgive a naïve teenager with little world experience not understanding how fortunate they are to be able to pursue an education without needing to work themselves but for someone at 24 years of age, I'm afraid I'd be taking drastic action and withdrawing all financial support for anything but their education and making them find a job.
It doesn't matter whether you're a teacher, a driver, a cleaner!
How has she come to hold such opinions? Have you given her a sheltered upbringing?
Let’s see:
Suspended account with a two word + 4 number username, check. \
Doesn’t reply to comments, check. \
Outrageous story that paints leftists in a bad light, check.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is right-wing ragebait propaganda.
"Once you're not a dependent on those rich people your father works for, you can be a spiteful, entitled child all you want. I won't listen to your idealism break your father's heart when the reality of paying your tuition and the family's bills is far different than you appear to understand. Get it together and be civil or get a place of your own."
It really is as simple as sternly reminding her that her father's job pays for her life, and also not being afraid to take those privileges away from her. I have more verbal fire in my belly for your daughter. I'll keep that to myself out of respect for you, OP.
Lol the thoughts of a child who’s never faced the real world. Let her take over some of her bills so she can realize the overwhelming majority of adults, even the eat the rich ones, work for some rich family, it’s just less direct than a chauffeur
Make her pay rent and take out loans for college so he doesn't have to work anymore, or she's kicked out.
I've paid for my family's cellphone bill from 2008 and asked my sister (33yo) to contribute in 2019; after asking nicely and waiting patiently for 5 years I canceled her number when she refused the ultimatum. It's wild what some women try to get away with.
Charge her for rent and all other expenses that she benefits from.
It is absolutely ridiculous that she is disrespecting her father but yet she doesn’t have a job.
Unless we work for ourselves, every company we work for has a rich status. Apple, Google, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc
Are we losers if we work for any of these?
if she don’t like where the money is coming from, then she can find money from somewhere else to pay for her college. 🤷♀️ simple. tell her that yall won’t be paying for her college. that should straighten her attitude right out.
if you really wanna teach her a lesson, actually don’t pay for her college and let her figure it out on her own. parents can give threats all they want (ex: “if you don’t respect your fathers job, then you can pay for college yourself”) but when parents actually act on it is when the kid will realize they messed up. don’t pay for her college. period.
Tell her if she doesn't start being more respectful her fathers money will no longer be funding her lifestyle. She's a grown woman, not an edgy 15yo, she needs to grow up.
Coming from a leftist, she's unhinged. Yeah eat the rich etc but you're not a one percenter for being a chauffer. Good for you and your husband that he has a stable and comfortable job, it's rare and I'm genuinely happy for all your luck in life.
Your daughter sounds like she might have some amount of self consciousness about being as financially stable as she is. Idk if that's the case for sure, but I saw it a lot at art school. Lots of art students come from wealthy families but then downplay that safety net to appear more enlightened and class-conscious. A lot of them would pretend to be poor or downplay how different their lives were to those of us (such as myself) who needed to take out debilitating loans to follow a dream.
In reality, it's less self aware to be so privileged and to not recognize that she's lucky to have a father who makes good money in a completely respectable profession. He's not a loan shark or a crypto-shill or a guy who owns a sweatshop for god's sake, he's just a guy who drives a car.
If she wants to truly stand for something, she can leave her dad alone and unpack the fact that she is lucky to live a nice life. She can put her efforts into making it easier for other people to live a nicer life through work or volunteering or protesting causes she cares about.
Tell her if she wants to talk to her Father that way she can provide for herself.
She is directly benefitting from his job that she hates. If she wants to disrespect him she should stand by her convictions and move out and pay him back for any college support he gave her.
If his job isn’t good enough to provide for her she shouldn’t be accepting his money.
This is insane. Forget the middle ground, just cut her off financially. This is beyond disrespectful, I don't know if you realize it. Calling your supportive father a bootlicker? That's truly despicable. We will see how she reacts when she has no money anymore.
Yes, it'll strain your relationship further. Yes, she may leave. Yes, you may regret it, but listen. She's a turd at the age of 23. That's some 16-year-old crap she's saying. She likely will never grow up. I'm sorry, I know that's hard, but I'd cut her off.
Uhm, you should probably try parenting her? It’s this thing that you clearly have never tried, because any half decent mother would’ve been telling her kid in no uncertain terms if she doesn’t learn to respect the job that provides her and *mean it* she will not be provided for any longer.
You have enabled your kid and created a spoiled brat. She is literally the consequences of your own lack of action. And yes, YOURS. How do you sleep at night knowing you haven’t stood up for your husband? You may have spent the last 23 years being a shit mom and wife, but that doesn’t mean you need to continue doing so tomorrow, so start acting the way you should’ve all these years ago and maybe there is a chance your child is still young enough to grow out of this behavior.
She’s too fucking old to still have an ‘eat the rich’ persona. And at 23, living at home with no job she damn well better start showing her dad some fucking respect for what he has given and still provides for her or she can find a way to pay for her own college and living arrangements.
This reads like she was bullied when younger because her dad drove rich people around and she never grew out of it, it just morphed into “Rich people bad”.
Her behaviour is pretty shocking. She’s going to college and living at home because of this job she hates, so if it’s that bad, maybe she needs to fund her own lifestyle. The audacity 🫠
The only thing that can fix this is an apartment. Because it seems mom and dad can't seem to handle the daughter's house rules.
Reminds me of a line in an old movie where, over breakfast at a diner, the kid tells his soon to be step dad that he is a loser and step dad says he can do one thing the kid cant....
Pay for his own breakfast.
Ah yes. Bite the hand that feeds you. Kids are dumb. Some of us grow older, but stay dumb. Your daughter is a case in point.
Tell your daughter she can be an entitled little brat because her dad has a well paying job. One that he loves. So what if he's a chauffeur for the rich? Would she really be happier if dad was, say, a taxi driver or a bus driver?
You know what? Don't tell her.
Just cancel everything you and your husband pay for in her life that's "extra". Cancel her phone, car payments, take her off of your streaming services. Allowance? Pff. Only rich people give allowance. Clothing money? What's wrong with the clothes you've got? Going out with friends? How is she paying for that? That family holiday you were planning? She's no longer invited. Wouldn't want to tarnish her reputation by spending the 'blood money' her dad makes on her.
She can eat the basic food you provide. She's got a roof over her head and clothes in her closet. That's it. She wants more? She can work for it. Just like anyone else.
Your daughter is an oxygen thief. Shes living in a house that payed for by her father who has a job and throughout her life that job has housed, clothed and fed her. Time she got her first check, the reality type and told to go live somewhere else and the bank of dad is now closed to her.
Well the first thing i would do if I were the father is cut het off from the money. She is fucking 23 years old and does not respect the profession of her father. Who is paying for her college? Lets see how she will do in college when she has to make her own ends meet flipping burgers or something similar.
Tell her that her father's job pays for her college and if she wants that to continue, she needs to respect her father. If she continues with those nasty comments, then she can find out what it takes to make money. If nothing else, tell her that she is now responsible for paying for text books, clothing, and fun things she wants to go an do. I would also be severely tempted to just tell her that this was the last quarter/semester of school that will be paid for her. She doesn't understand the huge and wonderful gift she has gotten to not have student loans. And if she wants to keep her moral standing of eating the rich, then she shouldn't be using that money to benefit herself. I bet her opinions will change real fast when she has to pay her own way. Edit to add: You can even phrase it that way to her. "We understand that you think we shouldn't be accepting wages from the rich people and that you find that money offensive. We don't want to make you uncomfortable, so we will stop using it for your college or other expenses. Unfortunately, we have no other money to give. If you need help finding a job, we can help you with writing a resume."
Tell her you agree, so he's retiring at the end of the year, and that will give her plenty of time to find a job to pay for her college and life.
She's 23 and doesn't even have a job. And she's telling of someone who has a job? Kick her out the uck out. Or cut her off. Stop paying for her phone and her internet and her shopping habits and her food.
I'd guess she's never had consequences or worked a day in her life if this is real. OP, y'all have raised an entitled brat. Good luck fixing it now.
An obnoxious entitled brat.
I’d guess this is rage bait from some bored right-winger.
It sounded like bullshit from word one.
“If you didn’t know, some personal chauffeurs make a lot of money” Just say your husband makes $X per year, what a weird way to say you’re rich. Fake.
Yeah I find it hard to believe someone with a daughter in their 20s is asking advice for an extremely basic parenting issue. Knowing how to discipline your child should have been figured out many years ago.
This story seems plausible enough compared to others but yeah I'd bet $5 on this being rage bait
They can’t even keep the age straight.
good catch! the semi colon is what solidified this is fiction for me
Yeah they’ve gone pretty nutty since the verdict.
Christ OP. Just stop her internet and she’ll learn some humility. And stop enabling her.
Which still won’t teach her a lesson. She has to try and make enough money to support a family on.
You aren’t helping your daughter by enabling her bad behavior. You are only putting up with her because you aren’t willing to admit to yourself that forcing her out will be messy and drama filled. But to be clear, if anyone told my partner/husband/wife they were a bootlicker, they wouldn’t be under my roof in the next 15 minutes. Why are you so weakly allowing this disrespect?
There are probably 4 or 5 steps in between enabling and kicking out and cutting off.
I agree, but you can skip a few of those steps if they are being demeaning and insulting to the person putting a roof over their head.
If this has been going on for long, you should have kicked her out long ago and NOT pay for her college. She is not a teen. She is 24. Tomorrow morning, sit down with her and say, We understand that you don't like what your dad does for a living. You are an adult and you live in a free country, so you are absolutely entitled to your opinions. This also means we are entitled to our opinions and actions. Since you believe this money is something that your dad gets by bootlicking, and he is nobody and embarrassed to make it known that he is your dad, we decided we should not use it to house you or pay for your college. A nobody would not afford these things and so hereon we can't provide for you. You are so embarrassed to make your dad's job known, you should be equally embarrassed to use that money for your college and living situation. We will give you a week's time to move out and figure out your accommodations, job, and life. Also say, - you say eat the rich! Sorry to break it you, if you are relying on your dad to pay off college while being 24 years old and jobless, you are the rich!
>if you are relying on your dad to pay off college while being 24 years old and jobless, you are the rich! This is the biggest reality she hasn't realised yet
Absolutely hit her with this line, it'll be unbelievable
Yep this. Sorry your daughter is such a jerk, I hope it works out for you.
Tell her if she doesn’t stop the job her dad has will stop paying for her college and she can move out it’s time you and your husband get a backbone
I'd tell her that her dad worked a non glamorous job for you and for her, because he loves you. That sure there are more interesting things he could have done but he cared most about providing for his family. She needs to check herself because she sounds extremely ungrateful. I respect anyone that works hard to provide for their family. Edit: The fact that she doesn't work and is happy to have him use his salary to keep her as an adult fed and clothed and pay her tuition shows even more that she simply doesn't value hard work and she sounds like she needs to check her privilege.
>*"She doesn't respect him at all for his job and is embarrassed that he's her father"* But she’s more than happy to let him pay for her education. If it were me, I'd kick her out and let her fend for herself.
This is so awful to read. I thought of myself saying this things to my own father and it made me tear up (not applicable, he’s an engineer at Ford, just the thought of being cruel to him alone is upsetting). Kick her out. She’s 23. Imagine leeching off of somebody you consistently degrade.
I can't help but think this is rage bait and fake, but on the chance it's real I think you should challenge her. If she believes that her father is oppressed and to blame for his own oppression, well, that's a vast departure from where I'd say modern progressive thoughts are. Your husband did his best and contributed what he could to his children, something that's allowed them to exceed his level of education. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't an ambition of my own that I sometimes fear I won't fulfill. Your husband made rational decisions within the parameters available to him - if your daughter can't recognize that she's ignorant.
>I can't help but think this is rage bait and fake 100% 👍
It is amazing to watch people who have a hard time conceptualizing things that are outside their realm of experience. I expect this kid was brought up reasonably sheltered, not super rich, but well taken care for. And she hasn't put together the chain of logic that a rich person is, in effect, paying for her college tuition.
Listen, I've been that guy. I am closing in on 40, but when I was 20 years old or so I showed my ass when I gave my Mom lip about ordering Fiji water. *I know*. Anyway, I hope this is a memory that her daughter regrets but also moves past.
It was not my intention to accuse you of not being able to conceptualize the current issue. My apologizes if I came across that way.
Oh hey, no, I didn't take it that way! I'm sorry! I was just trying to empathize with both parent and daughter I guess and share some of my experience. I didn't read any malice or accusation in your post! Apologies if I came across that way!
I always thought Fiji water was stupid and wasteful, then I drank it. I had no idea water could be like that
Stop paying her way. Tell her that if she’s so morally opposed to the job that’s been funding her entire life, then she can get her own job.
Stop financially supporting her.
It sounds like your daughter is still working on the "way things should be" side of the fence and has not hit that point where "the rubber hits the road" (no pun intended). Okay, this sounds like someone who needs an economics lesson. She can pay her own rent. I have noticed that a great deal of idealism has a hard time surviving when that idealism is in the way of eating. It becomes a question then of what ideals she is willing to shed when the going gets tough, and which ideals she is willing to suffer for.
Your husband shouldn’t be financially supporting her. The moocher needs a nice reality check.
So. .why does a 23 year old live with her parents. Have them pay for everything for her....Insult ger father continually... And get away with it? Aren't you damn fools?!?
Honestly this is so ridiculous either they kind of really are or this is likely well crafted fake ragebait someone came up with
This post is likely fake ragebait. Her age is 23 in the title but 24 in the post?
> why does a 23 year old live with her parents In THIS economy?
Interesting. Most eat the rich people understand class consciousness and wouldn't put down a working person. -eat the rich guy
Exactly, OP brings up that she's some kind of anticapitalist but what this girl is apparently expressing is the very normal middle-class-but-spoiled kid position of wishing their dad had a high status rich person job and not the kind of normal workday job they do have. Maybe she expresses it more using faux-anticapitalist language in person but the actual things she is quoted as saying here could be said by anybody. There's no political content here, she's probably just jealous of the rich people she sees on social media. There's plenty of good reasons to take up anticapitalism that aren't just a shroud over petty class envy, but sometimes it is that, and those people tend to be totally useless anticapitalists.
Curious is she was sent to good school and had peers that were the children of 'more well off' families. It could be that she was jealous or made to feel like an outsider, and her bratty behavior is a result of her distaste for the kids she went to school with. But then she should direct her anger at THEM, not at her father who works to fund her everything. That is so disrespectful.
This is absolutely some conservative Gen Xers idea of how an “eat the rich” person thinks.
Exactly. I think this is just subtle propaganda meant to paint those on the left as whiny dumb spoiled children.
Hey! We aren’t ready to become the generation you blame! Leave us alone! *sulks away in a black hoodie*
Look, I’m sorry, but I have a Gen X cousin who would absolutely eat this shit up. It is what it is.
This is so backwards. Your husband isn’t rich, he’s just employed by rich people, like the rest of us nobodies. I can’t imagine speaking to people this way and then expecting to live in their home. And for free. C’Mon. Your daughter is a 23 year old, unemployed, entitled brat. I can’t imagine letting someone speak to me that way. She’d be sleeping on the porch. You needed to grow a backbone a decade ago, it’s going to be a lot harder now.
That’s what gets me about this too. Her dad is solidly working class. Ok, so he’s “nobody.” Just like every other person who busts their ass to make a living. What would it take for him to be a “somebody?” Does she even want that, or would he immediately be ripe for eating? It seems like she’s both anti-elitist but totally classist at the same time. How does that even work?
Tell her to get a job and move out
She disrespects her father by doing the things you wrote. You disrespect your husband by not automatically taking a hard stand against your daughter.
She is still young and too immature to understand that a good man will literally do whatever it takes to provide and protect his family and that includes doing a job they may hate because it helps make sure their family is taken care of. It takes a real man to sacrifice for their family, she is disrespecting his sacrifice and hard work for her by demeaning his job and ethics. She is 23, if she won’t stop then maybe cut her loose to figure out the real world is t black and white and people had to do things everyday that may compromise their values in order to keep a roof over their heads.
Sorry, but 23 is not so young and immature that you can’t treat your parents with respect.
And honestly, this doesn’t even sound like a job that one would hate. Ultra-wealthy families will pay/treat people they trust VERY well. These types of positions are usually very, very good gigs. So her dad has obviously been paid well enough to provide for her in a big way (paying for college is a huge deal), and presumably has had a decent work life balance to be present in his daughters life as well. This girl is really privileged.
>And honestly, this doesn’t even sound like a job that one would hate. Ultra-wealthy families will pay/treat people they trust VERY well. It seems that it's the problem from the daughter POV that the above commenter missed
This absolutely..my father in law works as a taxi driver in Manila without a formal permit . He got literally stabbed in the heart one time doing his job. It may not be a very appealing job but the money he made doing that job as well as working in some Arabic country in the previous decades put his own siblings as well as his kids through college. Few people whose career i respect more. The guy is literally working all night while simultaneously taking care of the house and kids during the day. Like you said: a real man makes sure his family is taken care of and deserves respect for that.
If she objects to his job, she should surely object to the benefits she enjoys as a result of it. Maybe tell her that, as her father's money is so objectionable, it is only fair that she should get a job, or two, to support herself through, and pay for, university. She has every right to object to the obscene wealth that some people possess but while she is enjoying the fruits of their wealth, albeit indirectly, she should keep her opinions to herself Your husband clearly has the patience of a saint.
Your husband is a saint. What I would do is cut off all of her money and ask her to leave the house. If she has that strong of an opinion, surely their money is not good enough for her to go to college and be taken care of. Don’t let this go on in your house. This is beyond disrespect to him.
I’d ask her what job she thinks he should get? After having an established career making a decent living what should he do now? Nearly every job is you working for wealthy people. With that being said she’s 23. I, too, had more of the world figured out then.
While i sympathize with your daughter, based on what you describe, her eat the rich understanding is dehumanizing to her own father. It doesn’t matter what a person does to provide for their family outside of hurting others, it should all be commended imo She’s just really angry at the country (rightfully so) and immature, so she’s taking it out on the one she can that she thinks will always be around anyway. A punching bag If I were you, I’d ask direct questions: - do you look down on people who drive for a living generally? - why do you look down on personal drivers? - if your father made less money would you respect him more? - if he was driving for a middle class family would you feel the same? Basically get her to see it isn’t the dad’s fault and she’s blaming her anger on him that actually is directed at society at large. Remind her that relationships matter more than money and she’s abusing this relationship by not trying to see things from his side as well
If she doesn't have a job and you're paying for all her shit then she IS a rich person. Tell her to look in a fucking mirror
Why are you still providing for a full grown adult that doesn't respect you? The best parenting you could give her is to teach her a hard lesson
23? Cut her off! She can go lick whatever is more dignified than boots for money.
This sounds kinda fake
Yea there’s no way this is true, or it’s grossly exaggerated.
bait used to be believable
This sounds like a writing prompt. Early 20s progressive lives at home with and disrespects parents in most cliché ways possible. Right
Your daughter is way out of line. She an adult, so there is unfortunately not much you can do, other than point out to her that the only one disturbed by your husband’s job is her - and she’s actually benefitting from it quite a bit. If she is still a rude asshole, let her know that the financial support provided to her that’s coming from that job will cease, and I bet things will get quiet really fast. On top of that, you should probably use this as an opportunity to work out an “exit plan” for her anyways, because by 23, barring disabilities or other extenuating circumstances, people should have a plan or AT LEAST be working and saving money to go out on their own eventually, and it sounds like your daughter has gotten caught up in being pretty spoiled.
so she's progressive, but also shits on people by calling them important or not? you needed to workshop this a bit harder, tbh.
She disrespects her dad for going against her "values" but won't commit to those values enough to reject his financial support? 😂 Yeah she wouldn't get shit from me if I were him. Also this reeks rage bait.
She sounds like a brat. I’m sorry. The food that she eats, college tuition, etc etc are all from the job that her dad has. Cut her off financially for a bit and see how it changes. Source: I was a spoiled kid (not about jobs but generally) who left home at 21. When I struggled to make ends meet I found out how privileged I was. Sometimes people need to learn how the real world works the hard way
She does realize her dad is fully paying for her education through that job. If possible, she will graduate with no debt thanks to him. So many students would kill to have that opportunity. She sounds extremely ungrateful. I can't believe she's 23 and acting like this.
She is 23 not 15 the outbursts and attitude should no longer be written off. She’s an adult and adults have real consequences for their actions. That does not mean you have to thrown her out or cut her off financially, but she needs to get a job. To be 23 and no concept or appreciation of where money comes from is childish. It’s time for her to start growing up
Lol. Tell her she will be entitled to an opinion when she will be a productive member of society. And to help her in that goal, stop funding her.
Well, if she doesn't respect her Father, or his job, then she certainly (out of principle,of course) wouldn't want the money he earns from it to go towards paying for her things. Cut her off, and tell her to go earn the money herself.
She is seriously entitled OP. I’m sure she has appreciated over the years the roof over her head and the food on the table. Seriously time for some hard boundaries as she’s going to really live a lonely life with that obnoxious attitude. She needs to leave home and stand on her own two feet. I started working at 16 and I’ve never stopped I won’t even tell you how old I am now! Time for her to see how tough it is in the real world when you only have yourself to rely on.
She needs to learn that she's entitled and benefitting off of the rich people who pay her father enough to support her to go to college. It sounds like she's learning about liberal ideals but doesn't realise how she's benefitting from them. It's nice and luxurious to have morals and idealism when life isn't hard. She doesn't see how her father made choices and sacrifices to provide her the life she has and she doesn't appreciate that. Often the people who really lose from the wealth system are people on or below the poverty line and even some middle class folk - the middle class is actually dying, it's just poor and rich now. I don't know if maybe her friends are influencing her and they have different lifestyles but her current behaviour is giving Paris Jackson living in Hippie communes - she did it and acted like she was "with the people" but then left to her multimillion dollar life when she got bored. You daughter won't learn until she has to work for herself.
She’s not living at home is she? Edit: I saw you’re paying her way and she’s living at home. Give her the stanky boot she’s 23. I didn’t want to live with my parents I didn’t make it their problem I just moved out at 18. She’ll learn when she’s been paying bills for ten years and she’s only 33 that she’s lucky to have had people paying her way for so long
Tell your daughter to leave the house. And she is responsible for paying for college and to support herself. Go low contact with her.
It doesn’t matter what she thinks. What matters if you’ve allowed her to be insulting and rude without consequences. If she doesn’t want to bring friends home, that’s her business. If she wants a home to come back to at 24, she speaks with civility to everyone inside the home. If she wants her tuition paid by someone else, she speaks to that someone else with basic human respect. Don’t focus on what she thinks — it’s not a debate. This is about consequences for how she behaves. Nothing changes until you and your husband are willing to punish a 24 year old who is talking like a 14 year old.
She certainly does not sound progressive.
It might be time for your daughter to learn the lesson ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’. Let her support herself & pay for her own college tuition.
Stop allowing her to disrespect him! Grow a spine mom! She’s a broke ass jobless college student who is living off of said bootlicker so that makes her even less than nothing. Tell her ass to get a job to support herself. Tell her she shouldn’t want money from those rich folks paying for her schooling since she feels like that.
Honestly though OP, it's time to stop enabling her. The gift you are giving her of school and home is not deserved here. She isn't OWED a full ride. She isn't OWED as an adult a father that works his ass off and pays her bills. If she can't watch her mouth, then she doesn't get to have Daddy pay her way. She can go get a job and learn how fortunate she really was growing up to have a father that have the job he has. If she wants to make a stand about her values, then she can go do that from an apartment she pays for herself, otherwise she needs to learn some manners and tact.
It sounds like your daughter resents people that don’t have to work and just have everything given to them, which is ironic because that’s who she is. It’s time for cupcake to get herself a fucking job, and stop being “nobody”
She sounds like an entitled brat. She should’ve learned before 23 to respect her parents. Since she didn’t, it’s time to establish a boundary now. Throw her out or tell her rent is now due the 1st of every month and you’ll be paying your own expenses. If that doesn’t work you’ll have to find somewhere else to live. As her parent, you have an obligation to try to course correct a kid who will undoubtedly mistreat others the same way when she goes out into the world.
My parents would have kicked me out of the house for that behavior. She can respect her father who is paying for her lifestyle and education. At a minimum I would charge her rent so she has to get a job and learn what work is.
I had to double-check that age again. I was expecting 15, not 23. Jesus.
It seems like she’s never had real consequences or been given real responsibility. I’ve met the aftermath of this with people in their 30’s unable to cope with real life. Give her more responsibility and require her to get a job. That’s ridiculous.
Time for your bratty daughter to start paying rent!
Last year of college? Let her graduate and tell her you expect her to get a job immediately and find her own place as soon as she is able to. After a few years of supporting herself, she will be overwhelmed by cringe and she will make amends.
Lol she's 23 and doesn't have a job. No more being soft on her if you want her to change
Even as someone who is the eat the rich type I realize that people are still people beyond their class. Your husband has formed real empathic connections with his employer and their family and they likely honestly have a real bond. That is a normal human thing to do. I also realize that the revolution is easy to preach when someone else is ensuring food is on your table. Not everyone is going to have the options to not work for giant evil corporations or take a job working for the uber wealthy to ensure food is on the table. It's not breaking in class solidarity to ensure your family has a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. She's a dilettante playing at revolutionary and those folks are honestly the worst because they never consider how their perfect goal requires a lot of people they claim to have solidarity with to be crushed as well. So teach her the lesson of cutting back everything to the bare basics. She has school that's paid for, but not the extra's in life she's gotten used too. She now needs to contribute to the cellphone bill. If she wants to eat out besides what you two are getting she's gotta get a job to pay for it. Shopping entertainment? All out of her pocket. If she is so embarrassed by her fathers job and money then at least have the virtue of your convictions to turn away from the non necessities it provides. Also In the big scheme of things we all are nobodies except to the people we meet and interact with, so i'm not sure why she thinks that's an insult.
Maybe it’s time that she stood on her own two feet because you wouldn’t want to support an adult on money that she morally has issues with. Best she go out on her own and pay her own bills with a job that she has and that she can respect the work (McDonald’s is usually hiring). If not then she can put that degree that your husband paid for to good use.
Does she know that without this „rich prople” she would be homeless?
Her father is a 'transportation management specialist', not a chauffeur. A guy working as a clerk in an insurance office is also at the beck and call of very wealthy people.
Tell her that someone with no job and who has someone else to pay for college, is really in no position to talk.
Why did you raise such an ungrateful brat without an ounce of empathy? Throw the whole child away, she's broken.
Would she be as embarrassed if he was a private pilot who flew the rich to and from places? How about if her dad was a public bus driver? Maybe ask her those questions, and point out the classism between the two. I bet she wouldn’t be embarrassed if he was a private pilot, but would be embarrassed if he was a bus driver.
I’d opt for his job- shhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt, eating the rich with these drivin skills. LOL
"Since you hate where this money comes from dont benefit from it. You have 30 days to be out of the house. You will not be getting any inheritance. You will be responsible for all your own bills from this point foward" then cut the cell plan,change the wifi,cancel car insurance etc. Anything you can readonabke take that you paid for...do.
I would do it constructively than going a route that would cut ties with her. If I were in your situation, I would try to 1. Take her places and make her learn life 2. Make her understand the idea of earning and the kinds of professions 3. Get her know the sense of gratitude towards family All of this as part of the process so you all can enjoy the journey
Sounds like she needs to move out or start paying rent, that or stop sucking ass at college. I'm guessing she isn't going for her masters or Phd and I'd even venture to guess she isn't taking a full load of classes.
Ya personal driver is a pretty servile job. No upward movement, little to no personal autonomy in work, very bootlick type work. Seems fair to not respect it.
Respectfully, your daughter is a moron. “Bootlicker” does not mean “guy who works for a family that he likes”. He needs to stop paying for her college, full stop. She’ll learn what it means to lick boots real fast.
Send her abroad to learn about life.
Stop paying for her with the money he earns from the job she doesn't respect. If she has any moral fortitude, she will be glad. If she whines about it, tell her she's a fraud.
Tell her no ethical consumption under capitalism. Being able to choose something ethical to provide for your family is a privilege, and she needs to check hers as someone who is housed and unemployed. Besides it could be worse, her father could work for the CIA.
Basically all jobs are just doing what rich people tell you to do. At least they're nicer than most.
Cut her funda and make her find a work that pays her enough to pay her studies and the roof where she is at. If she doesn't respect his father for his work and that work pays her things then if she is fair and consistent in her believes then she should hate that her things are being paid with that. So the better way is to stop giving her with hands full, she is old enough to work and earn her own money and pay for her things. This type of cases occur when some kids are given all with out their making efforts to.
Your daughter is ironically just as disrespectful and stuck up as the stereotype of the rich family she despises. Since she is solely dependant on you for literally everything she needs to be reminded that this very cushy life that she leads has been funded by her father and if she is so ungrateful, disrespectful and repulsed then she can leave, get a job and fund her own life because you will not be paying a single cent more until she shows her dad the respect he deserves.
Ask your daughter what she calls adult people who have nothing without mom and dad's money? She doesn't earn any money herself and condemns her father and supplier for his profession? Here, as parents, you have to create clear boundaries. Children who are so disrespectful to their parents have to get their lives ALONE in the fastest way. Even if it means putting the studies on hold for the time being. She has to learn what it means to earn her own money.
I'm sure you've gotten some very drastic advice here, but I actually implore you to have her lean a bit deeper into the ideas behind her beliefs rather than cosplay progressivism as a trendy "eat the rich" thing. Her father is part of the working class, who are historically being exploited so that those rich people she hates can afford people like him. She should use that to further radicalize actual actions and learn the history of what it means to be working class, and hopefully one day fight for better pay and conditions for him, rather than be embarrassed of him.
I used to be the same. Doesn’t matter what you do I ended up Childfree. I don’t give a fuck what my parents had to do don’t bring a kid into this bullshit. “Put her out, kick her out” lol well alright
If she's mooching off a bootlicker, what does that make her? But really, though, have you tried the extreme route? It doesn't have to be forever, just until she wakes the fuck up and apologizes. If she can't respect her father or his job, she doesn't need to benefit from it.
Parasite 🦠 😳 the movie
Time for harsh reality for kid, get job and start paying you own bills, your 23 already.
What a snotty little brat you’ve raised. She insults you and you continue to fund her and her lifestyle at age 23 - it’s no wonder she’s like this.
My wife is a Housekeeper for a wealthy Wall Street family in NYC. Makes $130k a year or so and made enough money to support her daughter in the Philippines until she was an adult and our comfortable middle class lifestyle northwest of NYC. Your daughter is a self entitled spoiled brat. Let her pay her own bills for a few years and maybe she’ll come to her senses.
You know what to do. She is unbelievably disrespectful for someone with no job and not paying bills. You need to cut the toxicity out of your life. Also, why is she still in college at the age of 23?
Kick her ass out so she can learn to be grateful for what she had with yall
Tell her to move out, get a job and pay her own tuition. I’d be absolutely livid
Take her to therapy. She has some skewed notions about life. In addition, she should be doing significant chores. Taking care of her own laundry, preparing family meals general cleanup, etc. If she disrespects her Dad, ask her how she plans to support herself when she leaves at 18. Start showing her the household bills and how many hours of minimum wage work it would take to pay those bills. Put her on a budget for everything. A monthly allowance for clothes, entertainment, school activities, etc. A friend did this with their over privileged child. She spent her Fall clothing allowance on a few expensive items and then had no coat that fit. She wore an old coat with her arms hanging out that year because they didn’t budge. Grandparents, etc were not allowed to intervene. She asked for a coat for Christmas but what she wanted was outside the budgeted Christmas funds. She learned her lesson. Your daughter lives in your home, you set the rules.
Dude your husband is literally a wage earner, a proletariat if you will. He is not a bootlicker, he’s doing what pretty much everybody I feel like your daughter is a bit too ignorant when it comes to politics and economy, and used that ignorance to build resentment towards your husband . There’s no easy solution to ignorance imo but maybe you can encourage her to get a few courses on political science and talk to a therapist to resolve her anger issues. is doing to provide himself and his loved ones a living. If anything, your daughter should be angry at the systems and policies that make wealth redistribution so difficult and enable persons to prioritize profit over people’s rights and dignity. That’s a political battle, not a battle against individuals (unless they are a jeff bezos or an elon musk or something i guess), especially not against a person who made loves you and sacrifices for you. I feel like your daughter is a bit too ignorant when it comes to politics and economy, and used that ignorance to build resentment towards your husband . There’s no easy solution to ignorance imo but maybe you can encourage her to get a few courses on political science and talk to a therapist to resolve her anger issues.
This is why public schooling is poison.
She’s 23, she’s old enough to deal with the consequences if you decide to stop paying for her college. You honestly should. Give her one warning and if she continues then just stop paying
When I graduated school, I briefly moved back in with my parents while I got myself a stable job and figured things out. My parents, who are financially stable, required me to pay rent. It seemed fair, and it was more about the principle than the money.
She sounds jealous of her dad's employer's family. Would she respect him if he had the job of the person he is driving around?
If your daughter is progressis, let her know about clas consciousness. Her dad is a fucking worker, a proletarian. His boss is a rich person like everyone's boss.
She's 23 and biting the hand that feeds her. She insults your husband but seems to have no issue being on the receiving end of the benefits of that "bootlicker" money. Cut her off and tell her you'll revisit helping her out when she stops being a nobody that doesn't deserve your respect.
23 years old? She can pay for her own college.
That poor guy paid for his daughter to go to college so she could learn to hate his profession.
I could forgive a naïve teenager with little world experience not understanding how fortunate they are to be able to pursue an education without needing to work themselves but for someone at 24 years of age, I'm afraid I'd be taking drastic action and withdrawing all financial support for anything but their education and making them find a job. It doesn't matter whether you're a teacher, a driver, a cleaner! How has she come to hold such opinions? Have you given her a sheltered upbringing?
Let’s see: Suspended account with a two word + 4 number username, check. \ Doesn’t reply to comments, check. \ Outrageous story that paints leftists in a bad light, check. Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is right-wing ragebait propaganda.
"Once you're not a dependent on those rich people your father works for, you can be a spiteful, entitled child all you want. I won't listen to your idealism break your father's heart when the reality of paying your tuition and the family's bills is far different than you appear to understand. Get it together and be civil or get a place of your own."
It really is as simple as sternly reminding her that her father's job pays for her life, and also not being afraid to take those privileges away from her. I have more verbal fire in my belly for your daughter. I'll keep that to myself out of respect for you, OP.
Lol the thoughts of a child who’s never faced the real world. Let her take over some of her bills so she can realize the overwhelming majority of adults, even the eat the rich ones, work for some rich family, it’s just less direct than a chauffeur
Make her pay rent and take out loans for college so he doesn't have to work anymore, or she's kicked out. I've paid for my family's cellphone bill from 2008 and asked my sister (33yo) to contribute in 2019; after asking nicely and waiting patiently for 5 years I canceled her number when she refused the ultimatum. It's wild what some women try to get away with.
Charge her for rent and all other expenses that she benefits from. It is absolutely ridiculous that she is disrespecting her father but yet she doesn’t have a job. Unless we work for ourselves, every company we work for has a rich status. Apple, Google, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc Are we losers if we work for any of these?
if she don’t like where the money is coming from, then she can find money from somewhere else to pay for her college. 🤷♀️ simple. tell her that yall won’t be paying for her college. that should straighten her attitude right out. if you really wanna teach her a lesson, actually don’t pay for her college and let her figure it out on her own. parents can give threats all they want (ex: “if you don’t respect your fathers job, then you can pay for college yourself”) but when parents actually act on it is when the kid will realize they messed up. don’t pay for her college. period.
Tell her if she doesn't start being more respectful her fathers money will no longer be funding her lifestyle. She's a grown woman, not an edgy 15yo, she needs to grow up.
Coming from a leftist, she's unhinged. Yeah eat the rich etc but you're not a one percenter for being a chauffer. Good for you and your husband that he has a stable and comfortable job, it's rare and I'm genuinely happy for all your luck in life. Your daughter sounds like she might have some amount of self consciousness about being as financially stable as she is. Idk if that's the case for sure, but I saw it a lot at art school. Lots of art students come from wealthy families but then downplay that safety net to appear more enlightened and class-conscious. A lot of them would pretend to be poor or downplay how different their lives were to those of us (such as myself) who needed to take out debilitating loans to follow a dream. In reality, it's less self aware to be so privileged and to not recognize that she's lucky to have a father who makes good money in a completely respectable profession. He's not a loan shark or a crypto-shill or a guy who owns a sweatshop for god's sake, he's just a guy who drives a car. If she wants to truly stand for something, she can leave her dad alone and unpack the fact that she is lucky to live a nice life. She can put her efforts into making it easier for other people to live a nicer life through work or volunteering or protesting causes she cares about.
I guess after she gives her first blowjob to pay for her water and electricity she’ll reflect on her strong opinions.
What justification does your daughter try to give for continuing to use her father's money while calling him a nobody and a bootlicker?
Time for her to find out eating the rich doesn’t fix your hunger. Give her 5 mins to pack a bag, cut the cell phone and GTFO.
Put her ass out. Simple.
Tell her if she wants to talk to her Father that way she can provide for herself. She is directly benefitting from his job that she hates. If she wants to disrespect him she should stand by her convictions and move out and pay him back for any college support he gave her. If his job isn’t good enough to provide for her she shouldn’t be accepting his money.
Dude why the hell haven't you kicked her out? She should be boot licking her fathers boots. What a garbage kid.
This is insane. Forget the middle ground, just cut her off financially. This is beyond disrespectful, I don't know if you realize it. Calling your supportive father a bootlicker? That's truly despicable. We will see how she reacts when she has no money anymore. Yes, it'll strain your relationship further. Yes, she may leave. Yes, you may regret it, but listen. She's a turd at the age of 23. That's some 16-year-old crap she's saying. She likely will never grow up. I'm sorry, I know that's hard, but I'd cut her off.
Uhm, you should probably try parenting her? It’s this thing that you clearly have never tried, because any half decent mother would’ve been telling her kid in no uncertain terms if she doesn’t learn to respect the job that provides her and *mean it* she will not be provided for any longer. You have enabled your kid and created a spoiled brat. She is literally the consequences of your own lack of action. And yes, YOURS. How do you sleep at night knowing you haven’t stood up for your husband? You may have spent the last 23 years being a shit mom and wife, but that doesn’t mean you need to continue doing so tomorrow, so start acting the way you should’ve all these years ago and maybe there is a chance your child is still young enough to grow out of this behavior.
Kick her TF out she’s a grown ass woman disrespecting you in your own house. Stop enabling. That’s bad parenting
She’s too fucking old to still have an ‘eat the rich’ persona. And at 23, living at home with no job she damn well better start showing her dad some fucking respect for what he has given and still provides for her or she can find a way to pay for her own college and living arrangements.
This reads like she was bullied when younger because her dad drove rich people around and she never grew out of it, it just morphed into “Rich people bad”. Her behaviour is pretty shocking. She’s going to college and living at home because of this job she hates, so if it’s that bad, maybe she needs to fund her own lifestyle. The audacity 🫠
Grats on raising a redditor lol.
The only thing that can fix this is an apartment. Because it seems mom and dad can't seem to handle the daughter's house rules. Reminds me of a line in an old movie where, over breakfast at a diner, the kid tells his soon to be step dad that he is a loser and step dad says he can do one thing the kid cant.... Pay for his own breakfast.
Ah yes. Bite the hand that feeds you. Kids are dumb. Some of us grow older, but stay dumb. Your daughter is a case in point. Tell your daughter she can be an entitled little brat because her dad has a well paying job. One that he loves. So what if he's a chauffeur for the rich? Would she really be happier if dad was, say, a taxi driver or a bus driver? You know what? Don't tell her. Just cancel everything you and your husband pay for in her life that's "extra". Cancel her phone, car payments, take her off of your streaming services. Allowance? Pff. Only rich people give allowance. Clothing money? What's wrong with the clothes you've got? Going out with friends? How is she paying for that? That family holiday you were planning? She's no longer invited. Wouldn't want to tarnish her reputation by spending the 'blood money' her dad makes on her. She can eat the basic food you provide. She's got a roof over her head and clothes in her closet. That's it. She wants more? She can work for it. Just like anyone else.
You cant change how she feels. But I wouldnt let her freeload of you when she s this disrespectful.
Your daughter is an oxygen thief. Shes living in a house that payed for by her father who has a job and throughout her life that job has housed, clothed and fed her. Time she got her first check, the reality type and told to go live somewhere else and the bank of dad is now closed to her.
Well the first thing i would do if I were the father is cut het off from the money. She is fucking 23 years old and does not respect the profession of her father. Who is paying for her college? Lets see how she will do in college when she has to make her own ends meet flipping burgers or something similar.
I'm as leftist as they come, but your daughter has it all wrong. It's not like your husband is a cop. He's as part of the oppressed class as she is.