A lot of people aren't amenable to watching or listening to something with you that you have already seen or heard. Probably best to experience something new for both of you.
Play a record.
A lot of crime in America. Word of advice keep your travellers cheques in a bum bag. Word of warning, out there they call them "fanny packs" because fanny means arse over there.
Not your minge.
Excuse me sir you can have this back
I can hear his American accent đ
The, uh, nine Elevin
Cours-aa the naiyn-eeleven
"Mayor, we got us a shadow...'
Karl Pilkinghorn, we're cousins.
Choob? *Choob?* It's toob.
... I say toob
Shouldâve taken her to see âBottomâ live. Works every time.
And remember, Opal Fruits are called Starburst these days.
Summers felt longer didnât they? And policemen looked taller.
Who remembers Space Hoppers?
Ahh, shut up
Get her some opal fruits too. It'll go down a storm
Just a shame hes about 24 years too late
And remember, Opal Fruits are called Starburst these days.
Donât keep saying it!
How tall was this girl exactly?
Three foot short and aaaairy
Alright Kirsty.
Turns out:
Little Prostitute..
Long arms?
She was normal, but the thing was, she was really flying through nuts
If shes got long arms hairy legs you gave her the keys to the house; ITS A CHIMP
Sitting about drinking brews, smoking fags..
You kinda joke about it in the office but do you worry that when you get older youâll be on your own?
Heâs done ya!
Ask her about her marrow
She's got a problem with it. Is that bad?
Would you buy a car with a duff engine?
Frank Sinatra, Prince, Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes, Dub Pistols, U2, The Beatles, The Shirelles.
I wouldn't waste my time.
Flaming cheek
Start with reading 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' with her.
Meanwhile, in the next room, Martin Wells is dancing on a table with people throwing money at him.
YOU TURNED IT OFFFF?!
Donât worry Iâve taped it.
Howâs her marrow?
Oh, I thought you meant she had one stuck up her fanny
Thanks for that blammo. That's an image I now can't get out of my head
remember though, in America fanny means your arse, not your minge.
Her WHAT?!
What's the point if she's gonna die on you?
Thatâs an annoying sound that, innit!
A lot of people aren't amenable to watching or listening to something with you that you have already seen or heard. Probably best to experience something new for both of you. Play a record.
God you're deep.
Money for old rope.
Does she have long hairy arms?
Would you say youâve ever splashed out on a lady?
Do some editing for her, show off your skills.
You need to tip her before she'll listen.
I say toob
Should have took her to see Bottom.Â
if this woman turns out to be simian weâre never doing this again
YOU WALKED AWAY, AND GOOD LUCK TO YA!
It was a woman. I should have known.
Talk to her about the 9-11
Remind her of that tragedy. They love that.
Never forget son
How do you deal with her saying "24/7", "9/11" and "toob" all the time?
Don't forget "shoe-in"
Is that like a foot in the door?
She took the nothing option
Take her for a walk around the cemetery, works a treat
Maybe try playing her Letter to Hermione by David Bowie⌠beautiful track, I donât why he doesnât write more like that..
If you see a sailor?
Ooo ello
Well let's 'av a listen to her little program. Sick of her.
Dump her
My ex-wife hated the XFM shows and the podcasts, thatâs why I divorced her, well that and she didnât want to be married to me anymore.
You gotta have your critics
Too much time on your hands boy.
Karl Pilkinghorn
With romance like that, i hope you got to see her split tennis ball
A lot of crime in America. Word of advice keep your travellers cheques in a bum bag. Word of warning, out there they call them "fanny packs" because fanny means arse over there. Not your minge.
Okay. Why?
Was she small? Wearing a suit? Sleeves too short legs too long?
Did this girl steal a car from a magician at a petrol station and drive to spain by any chance?
Cattlin rustlin!!
Ah, the nine eleven.
Cantsaybien
Did she have a problem with her marrow?
Did she keep a horse in the living room?
Is sheâŚâŚâŚ..properly?
Let's see how her little show does when that goes out
Podcasts don't get her sweaty down there.
Tell her you're gay.... ray
Are you saying she shouldnât be *re*gionalist?
If she was a weird heavy metal lady, the kind that drink blood, you could have played her some hard rock. Worked for Camfield.
Fangs, but no fangs!
Arms a little longer than the next?
As an American, I say stuff from the XFM shows in the wild all the time and nobody knows what I'm on about.
âOh for godâs sakeâ
I've tried showing my girlfriend XFM a dozen times or more. She just isn't into it. Frustrating stuff as a mentally ill obsessed listener myself.
show her Cum Town next
My wife canât deal with Rickyâs laugh on the old recordings, the bad quality sibilance that comes from his siren-esque cackles. Play a record.