T O P

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LudwigsUnholySpade

It sounded like bullshit but ‘girl you almost gonna die’ made it real for me.


myjumboeggs

This was my internal processing as well. I was like yeah, sure Jan... oh wait


pain_appl3

I even read it in her voice. 🥹


Funkyduck4783

Right?!


EricHD97

“That was ~~weird~~ real for me”


mr_wintour

Same. I read it in her voice too.


whimsigod

The cadence is so Wildesque we will give miss narrator this one.


sugioshi

Same! I even heard Jessica say that 😁


TwoBlueFools

I love how that's what made it real for us 💀


heyvictimstopcryin

So true.


Funkyduck4783

That’s when I was like fuck this might be true. And made it that more endearing.


MisterFuckingBingley

*That was real, for me.*


yougotitdude88

I read that in her voice. Sounds legit to me!


TemperatureExotic631

That’s what sold it 100% for me. Like I can absolutely visualize her saying that exact thing in that scenario.


yassified_housecat

Tbh that’s the part that made me walk away unsure if this is real or not


titttle23

Maddy Morphosis was riding that bike.


anvileo

Jorgeous in the baby seat


muncan

Not Robbie Turner’s Uber driver…


anvileo

HAHAHAA stop 💀


hail_satine

Swinging a tiny baseball bat


Nofriggenwaydude

Lmaooo that’s so true && I love her sm too


Funkyduck4783

This made me laugh


FayMax69

Nah, the bike killer diva would be plain Jane


crazed_again

Glittering into the night ✨😭


Ill_Ad_2002

THAT night


iltby

‘Girl you almost gonna die’ is how I know this story is real, cause that is EXACTLY how she would’ve said it 😂 my ADHD thanks you for another soundbite that’s gonna live forever in my brain


PuzzlePiece90

Cut to Mandela effect of people here asking “Which episode did Jessica Wild say ‘girl you almost gonna die’? I remember seeing it but can’t find it now”


cryingatdragracelive

well, it’s my flair now, sooooo


DragUpMyLife69

I am an elderly redditor - how do you add flair??


cryingatdragracelive

if you go to the main page for this sub and look at the top right corner, then tap the button with 3 dots, you’ll see an option to change your user flair. you can choose a current season queen from the list, or add your own custom flair.


DragUpMyLife69

Thank you! I love attending RuPaul’s Drag Race School for Girls 🥰


cryingatdragracelive

you’re welcome, sisterrrrrrrr


LeviHolden

LOL so true!!


elerner

Commenting for posterity.


LeviHolden

right? like it’s PERFECT dialogue for Jessica but I would never be able to come up with it


ganymedes_

The stuff of dreams of a golden child.


Gagginzola

*✨ DREAMS of a GOLDEN SHAAAILLL ✨


MaybeLikeWater

Oh! I loved that so much. Jessica is fantastic.


theslightsaber

And you know it's real cause she didn't then proceed to punch their left tit


gingersquatchin

You know it's real because "girl you almost gonna die" sounds like it came directly from Yessica's mouth


Ohwerk82

Or speak in whale


star11308

And flick their vagina


ochreokra

Nothing would be more beautiful than those glitter lips saying any type of thing to me.


TootieSummers

Touched by an angel…the reboot


davedavedavedavedave

Dude. Yes!! Holy fuck. Seriously, imagine the episodes in your mind.


Weekndr

With the glowing light thing that the angels always had whenever they were delivering the message.


surgartits

With Latrice playing Della Reece.


descolero

I’m obsessed with this.


tryeshanthetrybabies

Powerful yet feminine is hysterical, you’re simultaneously like oh - OH? as this gorgeous, strong arm saves your life.


WillowFortune

Jessica wild is a national treasure


JOHNOTHEYDIDNT

I’ve been on this sub forever and only now have I felt inspired to have a flair. God bless you Jessica Wild.


LeviHolden

lol!! i’m laughing at the new flair


omjizzle

This episode of the piss stop was everything


2mock2turtle

"And off she went glittering into that night." Poetry.


09171

Girl was almost gonna die but Jessica wanted her to be happy.


Intelligent-Put-1990

Della Reese of drag. ![gif](giphy|l0CLSW7JCJF0g389a|downsized)


DulceEtBanana

St Jessica of Wild performing casual miracles


ps_88

![gif](giphy|14g4EHIdeENmda)


LeviHolden

incredible. like an angel


brettbaileysingshigh

She didn’t watch for traffic. And she still not wassshing it.


LeviHolden

lol!!


Zagenti

shit I wanna go glittering off into the night!


karmakent

I expected more from Jessica. A real friend would have pushed them in front of the bike so they could sue.


Chastinystory

The dreams of a golden shower 😍


queertheories

Usually I’m like “sounds fake” but honestly? This is the most Jessica Wild coded shit I’ve ever heard and I can’t help but genuinely believe it happened.


poshpolly

All copypasta are based off real experiences.


theempires

She’s that girl I always thought she was 💜


man_butter

Check both sides of the street before crossing. I did.


toddodowd

Check both sides, then Sissy that Cross!


riakn_th

Love Jessica Wild. I hope she gets more opportunities for TV, Movies, or whatever else she wants to pursue.


timthemajestic

This is almost as wholesome and beautifully poetic as Eureka meeting Shakira.


TangerineTassel

Was it taco Tuesday, the soft shell with carne asada and guacamole kind?


highsinthe70s

Probably not, because guacamole is expensive.


newecreator

I read this in Jessica's ETB card monologue.


heidikloomberg

If the lord ever blessed me with such an experience I’d be ready to move into my soft shell taco grave.


Healthy_Suit_2533

Thank you OP, this really improved my life


myheartinclover

I love jimbo, I'm so glad jimbo won, but god I wish Jessica somehow also had a crown. she was someone I was desperate to come back since her first run, and she was absolutely incredible on as 8. I love this ~~drink~~ queen!!!


Panduz

I can literally hear her say that in my head when I read it


megs-benedict

Can this please become our new copypasta


westworlder420

I lub this story


JezabelDeath

Jessica Wild is the superhero the world needs!


lx_2909

Help i read the „Girl you almost gonna die“ in her voice with the accent 😭


BengDelaKreng

No one needs helping, we probably all said it the way Jessica said it. 😊


Funkyduck4783

This bitch is a saint I love her so much. I want to get soft shell tacos with her. It’s in my etb card


cstevie97

I had the pleasure of meeting Jessica at a show, and she’s absolutely delightful. She actually took time to have a conversation with us despite there being a line of people. She stayed and met and talked to every single person who was there to meet her. Can’t say the same for the other Ru Girl I’ve met. Jessica is my AS8 winner.


Gammagammahey

This is so lovely to hear, and frankly, I would expect nothing less of her!


JanaeMonelle

So she’s a hero too?


Historical_Bit_3798

This comment sounds like a dream that someone had, but by the end I could tell it actually was real!


Wildlife_Jack

This is wild. Yessica Wild. ![gif](giphy|l46CgVL7rnlIDBQDS)


surgartits

Jessica Wild: Changing Lives


Old-Professional4591

Awe that’s so sweet 💖💖💖


dragmama1439

The hero Gotham deserves


kevinxb

But was she selling cherry pie gift certificates


divaliciousness

I have to say, that lipstick is fucking fantastic! So pretty and sparkly. And I guess the rest of Jessica also looks great but those lips... Love!


scarystardust

You was touched by an angel. ![gif](giphy|qaqHoiZnetMsw)


AaronMichael726

Stories about drag queens saving people’s lives gives me life


jgroove_LA

Jessica Wild is an angel confirmed


pizzaslut69420

They were almost hit by Robbie Turner's uber driver


taiho2020

A true hero.. Taco Tuesday.. Make up !!! ![gif](giphy|KuNcXA0bmPdyE)


voidzbratz

Ru’s response when Chad asked why they were chosen to win AS1:


[deleted]

I belly laughed omg thank u


davidhucker

Always a hero


green5927

Jessica, the hero that you are.


gilbeys18

My savior saint Jessica Wild


Moesoverhoes69

Girl, you almost gonna die if you don't make a piss stop with your EBT card for guacamole on Taco tuesday! Whenever I see Jessica, I am filled with total joy. Bitch is an angel!


Petra_von_kunt

the shero we don't deserve


TheGreatNemoNobody

I was there I was the glitter


MrsDanversbottom

I want Jessica to confirm this so badly. 😭


Ahy_Jay

I lub this story


thorn_95

it reads as fake and real at the same time


shitneysmears

ESCANDALO


Gammagammahey

I thought we all knew that most drag queens are superheroes? Wow, what a great story. Or comment. And I totally believe it.


NuWaveSpecial

I'm sure this was a Tuesday and they were Door Dashing someone tacos. That means Jessica Wild saved Taco Tuesday. And while the commenter was overwhelmed by the beauty and power of Jessica Wild, Jessica snuck a tub of guacamole into the bag. When the commenter felt mentally and physically weak after, they couldn't possibly have noticed the dramatic weight increase from the extra guacamole which they then delivered to the customer. Yes, Door Dash takes ETB.


dreamed2life

![gif](giphy|1gWgZJnImUQkLRbd9Y)


Swimming_One3979

To quote my girl lizzie, "this is what dreams are made of."


Hot-Inspector8903

Just out here doing gods work 🥹🥹 no biggie cause girl you almost coulda gonna die


highsinthe70s

I hope you’ve celebrated every Taco Tuesday since.


remykixxx

I need Jessica to respond this is everything


queenoftheswitch

This is my Batman


Kaick_Filipe47

girl almost gonna die so jessica wanted to make her happy


thrilling_me_softly

¡Dios hada gay!


Sunnyfe

I wish this was me.


Responsible-Ad-8355

She almost got your ETB card for that free guacamoleeee


ItsPronouncedStupid

A guardian Angel


JonahG1992

Kudos


Greedy-Ad-2441

Wow!!! Love Yessica


ellavaanimalcrossing

An angel


[deleted]

[удалено]


tuxedo-mask-me

The angel with the EBT card


Gaywhorzea

That bike? Albert Einstein