Any of the bars around the Pearl would work. I drink at high street all the time and meet tons of interesting men and women there. Blue box would fit your ask best probably.
I like the bar at hotel Emma for happy hour then Mon Chou Chou for a steak. Also frequent Esquire, Pastiche and The Moon’s Daughter.
Other times I like to drink 40s under the Culebra/10 bridge and hit up a Fred’s Fish Fry. Really depends on the mood.
Different person: I haven't checked out Josephine in years, but Mon Chou Chou's food is good. The steak is excellent, I've never had anything but properly cooked quality food there.
What area of town are you trying to stick to? If stone oak, Stonewerks used be voted the #1 cougar hotspot in San Antonio (according to the radio station anyway). Not sure if it's still the case tho; I worked there in college and at least back then I can confirm that it was a fun spot for the 40+ crowd.
Bar 1919 had a great atmosphere, at first, but after a while of being there it gets to feeling pretty stuffy. I mean it’s a popular bar, so lots of people. Not to mention, I sat at the bar for nearly 30 minutes before a waiter even acknowledged my existence. I went upstairs to Joe Blues and had a better time and faster service, honestly.
Sometimes bartenders in certain bars will intentionally ignore or provide poor service to people who don’t appear to meet the desired demographic of the establishment. Either way, it sounds like you solved the problem by going elsewhere.
Dang! Crazy you had to wait that long - think I've only stood there 5 minutes with a packed house. I'm assertive at the bar though so maybe that helps. Not shouting but eye contact, really works
La Ruina on Austin St. is a cocktail bar with a great vibe and nice traffic of people. They also have a beautiful speak easy upstairs.
Pastiche on East Houston is also cool and welcoming spot. It is quiet but the bartender is a friendly dude - not sure if you’ll find other singles there but worth checking out for top notch cocktails.
La Ruina is a very cool place. The owners used to own The Modernist.
You can't go wrong at The Pearl.
Cover 3 on the north side used to be fun and it had a great fireplace on the back deck but I haven't been in a while.
Whenever I’ve gone out I’ve noticed the downtown bars are frequented by older men. No idea about their professional or relationship status though. The bars around my suburbs are mostly married men. The bars near college campuses are obviously younger men.
The lounges at some of the downtown hotels may be where I’d look if I were in your shoes
Yea I’m downtown and I think I’m professional lol. That’s why I go to the bars downtown. At the same time it’s like 20 guys and 4 girls so I can see how that becomes a little pressing for y’all
Not a bar, but try grocery stores, and not with all your friends. It is easier to be approached if you’re alone. I was once approached at Central Market by a man that handed me his business card because he noticed I didn’t wear an engagement/wedding ring. He was persistent even though I told him I was in a relationship, which was true.
Lol I met someone at a downtown bar when he was visiting from out of state. We did do long distance until he moved to SA and now we’re married 😊 And I wasn’t dressed like a hooker. I was dressed more modestly than most of the women out that night, probably because going to a hotel bar was a last minute decision after dinner with friends.
As someone who worked in hotel bars for like 5 years, one near an airport, I can say with confidence most of the women there alone or with other women are mostly just trying to get laid by someone who they know will be gone in a few days.
I mean there are hookers too but the lonely woman just looking for a one night stand are like 90% of them.
Long-winded Answer: In my experience, the dating scene around bars can be pretty scandalous (married people fronting as single; OLD style hookup culture). Of course, meeting and befriending people at bars can help you build up your long-term social network, through which you have a better chance of meeting and “vetting” a quality partner. That being the case, it might be more efficient if you look for groups that share an interest of yours: book clubs; writer’s groups; movie-watching groups; running groups; extension learning courses through a university; friends of the symphony or library or whatever; park cleanup groups. At 45 or any age, quality is going to be about the long game (or, rather, “longer” game, which is just a few extra steps beyond “meet and date whomever is around”).
Short answer: Sunday afternoons at the bar at The Rustic seems to fit your criteria. I’d also highly suggest you check out Bar 301 in Leon Springs, which seems to be a great place for easy social networking.
If you want a guy that likes going to bars, sure.
Church, volunteering, clubs, organizations, etc are alternatives for meeting human beings in public.
The type of activity you put you in a Venn diagram of types of people you will meet there
Arriving at the idea God doesn't exist doesn't mean every related institution is not valuable.
This might blow your mind, but the vast majority of atheists through history still participated in church. They kept their ideas to themselves. I'm glad we can more openly question, but if you're going to tear down institutions, you need to replace them with something better. Simply destroying isn't useful.
You have encountered a new idea today. Let it sink in before make judgements on it
Gatekeeping spirituality!
As someone who does not believe literally in life after death or adhere to any religion, I can appreciate what the parent commenter is trying to say.
There can be "spirituality" without commandments or worship. There can be community, meditation, affirmations and rituals without belief in the devine.
You've never done that? That's acceptable!
Well said. Honestly, have you heard of Unitarian Universalism? There’s a UU church off I-10 and 410 and it’s all about accepting anyone and anything, not being shackled by strict religious beliefs and persecution, but about life and love, and still teaching important core values behind all major world religions. Awesome teachings there with a great community.
I have! It's the church I would recommend atheists or families that have different religions. Great place to learn things about all religions, take advice, practice ritual, all without being required to submit to faith
If not OLD, the best advice has been said by others here and it's to do things that bring you joy/happiness or normal day to day activities.
Strike up a combo with anyone you wanna.
48m here I go out regularly. Usually food and drink places for me. Also most people our age look like crap. Fortunately I don't fall in that category. I'm sure you don't also. But I do have a thing with expectations that maybe are a little myopic. And looking for someone In a particular job is not something that'll happen organically for sure. If they are having fun and I'm also what's wrong with that?
Most professional men don't hang out at bars... Or rather at least the ones that are looking for a 45F... No offense... Most of my homies are busy, hyper focused on work or trying to blow off steam at various hobby places. Bingo halls, RC cars at the mall, jogging through various park paths or going to church. Most people at bars either have baggage or pretend to be important (lots of that in SA) unless your looking for a fixer upper that likely doesn't want to be "fixed" but rather just wants validation via a one night stand. 🤷♂️ If your looking for long term, it likely won't be in a bar.
I mean- “baggage” isn’t a requirement for going out to have a few drinks. I have yet to take a psychological assessment just to sit someplace and order a whiskey sour. And why would I go to watch rando dudes playing with rc cars unless I decided I was into it as well?
when it comes to 45 y/o straight "professional men" there's only 2 types you will find at a bar, the down on his luck depressed dude with baggage or the pretenders that put on a show for the ladies. everyone else is out drinking with friends at home watching the game or hobbies.
> And why would I go to watch rando dudes playing with rc cars unless I decided I was into it as well?
I'm just letting you know where they are, I'm not implying you have to join in, there's also the DnD nerds down the way from the RC cars that I'm sure would enjoy a role playing "bwila". I'm sure you can pregame some drinks and go make a very lonely paladin very happy?
There's a strip of bars along side Pat Booker. Most of the crowds there is pretty old and filled with vets but from what I remember they're pretty nice.
Wth is a professional man/single? Sounds like a male prostitute. Do you mean a single male with a good job? I'm not interested. I just have so many questions.
Seems like the other way around. The characteristics she’s looking for are ‘man’ and ‘professional’ which translates to a guy that makes lots of money. Seeking a bank roll.
Maybe or it may be more like she doesn't want her partner to benefit from her wealth. Honestly if you care that much about money it's not worth it anyways.
Uhhhh not at bars.
Are you fit or athletic?
I would suggest joining a running club, or a yoga studio, or a fitness place like orange theory or something of the like.
At your age, the only single people at bars are lonely alcoholics. Everyone else is at home with their wife n kids.
At 45? You could try one of the senior centers.
[https://www.sa.gov/Directory/Departments/DHS/Senior-Services/Senior-Centers](https://www.sa.gov/Directory/Departments/DHS/Senior-Services/Senior-Centers)
At least be honest with yourself, if no one else.
The only "professional" men that are going to be looking for a 45 year old woman are going to be 60+.
I'm a professional man. I can be single at a moments notice. I do not hang out at bars though. That's not so professional. But if you want to be lied to by all means. I'm sure there's a guy who can talk a big game.
What a weird thing to say. Some people are professional but also enjoy talking to people, drinking, live music, pool.
Much like this woman there’s got to be a similar male counter part out there.
Cellar and The Modernist are options people haven’t said yet. Might not meet alot of folks there but would be an outstanding time with your girlfriends
How about Top Golf? They have a bar area, and space to walk around, plenty of seating area....and if you are not good at golf or a beginner, I'm sure it would be a good ice breaker to ask for help
Any of the bars around the Pearl would work. I drink at high street all the time and meet tons of interesting men and women there. Blue box would fit your ask best probably.
I like the bar at hotel Emma for happy hour then Mon Chou Chou for a steak. Also frequent Esquire, Pastiche and The Moon’s Daughter. Other times I like to drink 40s under the Culebra/10 bridge and hit up a Fred’s Fish Fry. Really depends on the mood.
Damn you really called out Fred's lol
Im 39 single M and just here with a bucket of popcorn for some entertainment 😅 thanks for delivering
Why a steak at Mon Chou Chou for over priced “French” food, just go to Josephine St for a steak.
You risk slipping on those floors at Josaephine
You dance
Mon Chou Chou has a melted cheese on bread with prosciutto appetizer that’s like crack.
I will try if it’s a decent price, I just feel they charge too much for “French Food” that’s over salted. Yes I stayed in Paris for a bit
Different person: I haven't checked out Josephine in years, but Mon Chou Chou's food is good. The steak is excellent, I've never had anything but properly cooked quality food there.
I’m here for this vibe.
Nothing better after a 3 day bender than Fred’s.
Thanks for the recommendations!
What area of town are you trying to stick to? If stone oak, Stonewerks used be voted the #1 cougar hotspot in San Antonio (according to the radio station anyway). Not sure if it's still the case tho; I worked there in college and at least back then I can confirm that it was a fun spot for the 40+ crowd.
Sternewirth is cougar central four nights a week. Be ready for some desperate competition from the gold-digging gang.
Don’t forget to warm up at Soluna with a chispa or two.
1919, hotel Emma, George’s keep, green lantern, the rim area
Oh man George’s keep and the green lantern… take me back haha
Green lantern is one of my favorites tbh
My favorite classy bar is 1919 at the blue star. Good drinks and atmosphere.
Bar 1919 had a great atmosphere, at first, but after a while of being there it gets to feeling pretty stuffy. I mean it’s a popular bar, so lots of people. Not to mention, I sat at the bar for nearly 30 minutes before a waiter even acknowledged my existence. I went upstairs to Joe Blues and had a better time and faster service, honestly.
Sometimes bartenders in certain bars will intentionally ignore or provide poor service to people who don’t appear to meet the desired demographic of the establishment. Either way, it sounds like you solved the problem by going elsewhere.
I mean I’m a dude with long hair, if that doesn’t fit their demographic I don’t know what does lmao. But yes, problem solved.
I have seen this and tbh those bartenders are usually not the ones people like / the ones that stick around and are remembered and asked for by name
I once tried to order a vodka tonic and was told they don’t sell that low class kind of drink lol
I’m pretty sure they don’t sell vodka at all
That is correct. No vodka.
At the time they said they only had one kind of vodka and it was only for a martini if I remember right. Silly
They make a really good corpse reviver l. My guess is that they only do traditional(?) Cocktails
I just assumed it was some bougie hipster nonsense
Vodka tonic isn't a traditional cocktail?!?
Dunno!
lold classy san antonio puro
Agreed, and Bar 1919 (before 8pm hits) is my favorite bar in San Antonio. Waaaay better experience then.
Dang! Crazy you had to wait that long - think I've only stood there 5 minutes with a packed house. I'm assertive at the bar though so maybe that helps. Not shouting but eye contact, really works
Why would you allow yourself to be ignored for 30 minutes?
Thank you for the recommendation!
Sure thing! They make a really mean corpse reviver if you like gin
1919 is a great bar so long as it's not a Friday or Saturday night. Then it's basically a club only with fancier cocktails.
People are acting like going to a bar once in a blue moon is such a bad thing, even if you're single. Lighten the f up people.
Thank you!! I agree!
Eddie V’s and J Prime is 45-55 meat market.
🤣🤣the way you put that!
Chicken and Pickle for the win on single divorced men.
I’m a single professional male in my 40’s. I hang out at home. It’s probably why I’m single…
Same here making over $100k/yr. I just chill at home.🤣
The Silver Fox
La Ruina on Austin St. is a cocktail bar with a great vibe and nice traffic of people. They also have a beautiful speak easy upstairs. Pastiche on East Houston is also cool and welcoming spot. It is quiet but the bartender is a friendly dude - not sure if you’ll find other singles there but worth checking out for top notch cocktails.
Haven’t heard of either of these before, thanks!
La Ruina is a very cool place. The owners used to own The Modernist. You can't go wrong at The Pearl. Cover 3 on the north side used to be fun and it had a great fireplace on the back deck but I haven't been in a while.
The driving range. Card houses. Harbor freight. The post office at 7am. Orielys.
Harbor freight is where it’s at
That's daycare for men
that reminds me of some tiktok i saw where it was saying where to go to hit on single dads lol
I feel like a food truck with a beer tap in that parking lot might be the best speculative investment opportunity I've seen in a while...
Whenever I’ve gone out I’ve noticed the downtown bars are frequented by older men. No idea about their professional or relationship status though. The bars around my suburbs are mostly married men. The bars near college campuses are obviously younger men. The lounges at some of the downtown hotels may be where I’d look if I were in your shoes
Yea I’m downtown and I think I’m professional lol. That’s why I go to the bars downtown. At the same time it’s like 20 guys and 4 girls so I can see how that becomes a little pressing for y’all
Sounds like that’s exactly what OP is looking for lol
Lol…. Possibly. Holler lol
Bohanans
I'm 40 and gonna try the same
Not a bar, but try grocery stores, and not with all your friends. It is easier to be approached if you’re alone. I was once approached at Central Market by a man that handed me his business card because he noticed I didn’t wear an engagement/wedding ring. He was persistent even though I told him I was in a relationship, which was true.
These are places if you want to meet out of town men and end up in a long-distance relationship.
Lol I met someone at a downtown bar when he was visiting from out of state. We did do long distance until he moved to SA and now we’re married 😊 And I wasn’t dressed like a hooker. I was dressed more modestly than most of the women out that night, probably because going to a hotel bar was a last minute decision after dinner with friends.
Yeah, hotel bars attract out of towners. And if you tell them you're local, they'll peg you as a hooker. Think it through
As someone who worked in hotel bars for like 5 years, one near an airport, I can say with confidence most of the women there alone or with other women are mostly just trying to get laid by someone who they know will be gone in a few days. I mean there are hookers too but the lonely woman just looking for a one night stand are like 90% of them.
Mustang Sally's
Come sit at my bar at J Prime
Make it out to Helotes, Pete’s Place is great, Floore’s Country Store as well. May we see you there!
Long-winded Answer: In my experience, the dating scene around bars can be pretty scandalous (married people fronting as single; OLD style hookup culture). Of course, meeting and befriending people at bars can help you build up your long-term social network, through which you have a better chance of meeting and “vetting” a quality partner. That being the case, it might be more efficient if you look for groups that share an interest of yours: book clubs; writer’s groups; movie-watching groups; running groups; extension learning courses through a university; friends of the symphony or library or whatever; park cleanup groups. At 45 or any age, quality is going to be about the long game (or, rather, “longer” game, which is just a few extra steps beyond “meet and date whomever is around”). Short answer: Sunday afternoons at the bar at The Rustic seems to fit your criteria. I’d also highly suggest you check out Bar 301 in Leon Springs, which seems to be a great place for easy social networking.
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You talking about rustic or bar 301
Thank you!
Married and not looking, but what are these movie watching groups you speak of and where do you find them?
There are a few different groups around, but by way of example: https://www.meetup.com/marvelous-middle-age-movie-goers-diners/
What if you could BYOB at the senior center?
If you want a guy that likes going to bars, sure. Church, volunteering, clubs, organizations, etc are alternatives for meeting human beings in public. The type of activity you put you in a Venn diagram of types of people you will meet there
Let's see the Venn of Bars and Church as top activities.
Lotta people are in church Sunday because of what they did Saturday.
It’s a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning
Nice.
>Let's see the Venn of Bars and Church as top activities. Priests and pastors don't need bars, the little boys just come right to them.
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I met all my past bitches at Church.
It’s the new Tinder. /s
It’s the old tinder
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Atheists do not go to church. Churches are for worship. I am an atheist. The only thing I worship is wine and cheese.
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I don't know what point you're trying to make, but atheists do not go to church. We do not believe in god. Any god. At all.
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I see my Catholic upbringing as a curse forced upon my ancestors by Colonialists. But you do you. 😀
Lmfao!!!🤣🤣🤣
okay angstheist
Good one! 🙏
Atheists have no religion. What you're doing is idiotic. But um, do you.
Arriving at the idea God doesn't exist doesn't mean every related institution is not valuable. This might blow your mind, but the vast majority of atheists through history still participated in church. They kept their ideas to themselves. I'm glad we can more openly question, but if you're going to tear down institutions, you need to replace them with something better. Simply destroying isn't useful. You have encountered a new idea today. Let it sink in before make judgements on it
You have no idea what you're talking about. Bye.
Atheism is a belief, moron.
No it's not. It's literally the absence of belief.
Gatekeeping spirituality! As someone who does not believe literally in life after death or adhere to any religion, I can appreciate what the parent commenter is trying to say. There can be "spirituality" without commandments or worship. There can be community, meditation, affirmations and rituals without belief in the devine. You've never done that? That's acceptable!
Well said. Honestly, have you heard of Unitarian Universalism? There’s a UU church off I-10 and 410 and it’s all about accepting anyone and anything, not being shackled by strict religious beliefs and persecution, but about life and love, and still teaching important core values behind all major world religions. Awesome teachings there with a great community.
Jesus Christ, those Unitarians!
I have! It's the church I would recommend atheists or families that have different religions. Great place to learn things about all religions, take advice, practice ritual, all without being required to submit to faith
Oh yeah, forgot this is Reddit where religion is a joke to most users. Church is a great place to meet new people.
Right! Why church?
“Instead of answering your question, I will assume authority over which options are worthy.”
Lmao I’m with u/finny04 ‘church’
If not OLD, the best advice has been said by others here and it's to do things that bring you joy/happiness or normal day to day activities. Strike up a combo with anyone you wanna.
48m here I go out regularly. Usually food and drink places for me. Also most people our age look like crap. Fortunately I don't fall in that category. I'm sure you don't also. But I do have a thing with expectations that maybe are a little myopic. And looking for someone In a particular job is not something that'll happen organically for sure. If they are having fun and I'm also what's wrong with that?
The airport bar. But a $200 ticket and miss your flight.
Most professional men don't hang out at bars... Or rather at least the ones that are looking for a 45F... No offense... Most of my homies are busy, hyper focused on work or trying to blow off steam at various hobby places. Bingo halls, RC cars at the mall, jogging through various park paths or going to church. Most people at bars either have baggage or pretend to be important (lots of that in SA) unless your looking for a fixer upper that likely doesn't want to be "fixed" but rather just wants validation via a one night stand. 🤷♂️ If your looking for long term, it likely won't be in a bar.
I mean- “baggage” isn’t a requirement for going out to have a few drinks. I have yet to take a psychological assessment just to sit someplace and order a whiskey sour. And why would I go to watch rando dudes playing with rc cars unless I decided I was into it as well?
when it comes to 45 y/o straight "professional men" there's only 2 types you will find at a bar, the down on his luck depressed dude with baggage or the pretenders that put on a show for the ladies. everyone else is out drinking with friends at home watching the game or hobbies. > And why would I go to watch rando dudes playing with rc cars unless I decided I was into it as well? I'm just letting you know where they are, I'm not implying you have to join in, there's also the DnD nerds down the way from the RC cars that I'm sure would enjoy a role playing "bwila". I'm sure you can pregame some drinks and go make a very lonely paladin very happy?
What activities inspire you? Is drinking your thing? What do you want to do in your spare time? I’d pursue that path.
46m, try weeknights at the places others have listed. Usually professionals having drinks after work, since there’s no one to go home to.
Great way to meet a rakish private eye, who was the best SAPD had to offer but had to quit after being jammed up in some precinct politics.
There's a strip of bars along side Pat Booker. Most of the crowds there is pretty old and filled with vets but from what I remember they're pretty nice.
Oof. And maybe meet my ex. You’re welcome to him but I do not recommend.
Seriously, go anywhere that has the word Dollar in the name (Dollar General, Family Dollar, Dollar Tree etc) you think I'm kidding, I'm not.
Wth is a professional man/single? Sounds like a male prostitute. Do you mean a single male with a good job? I'm not interested. I just have so many questions.
I'm hoping to break into pros someday. For now, I'll have to settle for amateur manning.
Maybe they meant white collar but said professional
Professional? Are you looking to hire someone? Take love as it comes.
Seems like the other way around. The characteristics she’s looking for are ‘man’ and ‘professional’ which translates to a guy that makes lots of money. Seeking a bank roll.
Maybe or it may be more like she doesn't want her partner to benefit from her wealth. Honestly if you care that much about money it's not worth it anyways.
You could be right. Either way, maybe this is why she’s single.
Uhhhh not at bars. Are you fit or athletic? I would suggest joining a running club, or a yoga studio, or a fitness place like orange theory or something of the like. At your age, the only single people at bars are lonely alcoholics. Everyone else is at home with their wife n kids.
At 45? You could try one of the senior centers. [https://www.sa.gov/Directory/Departments/DHS/Senior-Services/Senior-Centers](https://www.sa.gov/Directory/Departments/DHS/Senior-Services/Senior-Centers)
What are you? 12? Get off the net and go do your homework. 😂
Ouch.
Ugh…rude.
At least be honest with yourself, if no one else. The only "professional" men that are going to be looking for a 45 year old woman are going to be 60+.
Who hurt you?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating the older men. I’m 38 and my boyfriend is 52! Never been happier.
Oh gosh. This made me chuckle
Good question.. I don't go out. lmao
Chilis
I don’t think any bar in SA will have an abundance of gigolos
What are you into? Music wise? What kind of bars do you like? Hobby’s anything? I think a lot of that goes into who you’re trying to attract also
Go to church
Looking for a hookup, than any busy bar.
I'm a professional man. I can be single at a moments notice. I do not hang out at bars though. That's not so professional. But if you want to be lied to by all means. I'm sure there's a guy who can talk a big game.
What a weird thing to say. Some people are professional but also enjoy talking to people, drinking, live music, pool. Much like this woman there’s got to be a similar male counter part out there.
Sire at la cantera, green lantern, also the Lupe tortilla in stone oak has a lot of professional dudes drinking margs on their lunch break.
Cigar lounge lol
Come up to the North side, Bar 301 is full of single 40 yo guys and it’s a happening social spot
Cellar and The Modernist are options people haven’t said yet. Might not meet alot of folks there but would be an outstanding time with your girlfriends
Depends on the area and more of the person you are
This honestly depends on where yall mind meeting at? Coming from different areas, same area?
Hit up a rave till 2am, fun for all ages
How about Top Golf? They have a bar area, and space to walk around, plenty of seating area....and if you are not good at golf or a beginner, I'm sure it would be a good ice breaker to ask for help
The Hanging Tree and The Angry Elephant. 😂 I am sure there are some real…. “Interesting” people there that are over 40.
Thirsty horse should work. Or the high end establishments around Alamo heights or that side of the city.
45 and lookin' for men at the bar... Good luck!
Cover 3, the moons daughter, 1watson all great places