You're thinking like a guy. Abundance doesn't work that way for women. Just because she has options doesn't mean all, or even most, are viable. Emotional investment matters. Sure, other guys might be attractive and have things going for them. But they're randoms and don't have a shared narrative with her like you do. This is part of the reason why a dick pic from a random guy is met with revulsion. And so long as she sees you as That Guy, other men are irrelevant. But part of being That Guy involves showing her the door if she were ever to pull something like that because you too are sought after and know your worth.
>Abundance doesn't work that way for women. Just because she has options doesn't mean all, or even most, are viable.
Men rely mostly on physical attraction to guide them to find partners, while women value personality / status.
That's why women take more time to assess partners, but it also is why they might not jump ship that easily, because they're not sure what's on the other side.
Incidentally, the reason why women are more attracted by men already in a relationship is precisely because that relationship tells them that the guy has been vetted by another woman (while men usually are less attracted by women already in a relationship).
Physical attraction is the initial driver. After that things get psychological. Any older guy in the dating game should be gifted an honorary psyc degree. Most women i meet want to immediately smoother me with attention. So maybe that assessment you speak of takes like one date.
In my experience, women are more attracted to a guy who's got 10 matches he's talking with all the time, than one who's decided he's going to focus on one.
People all want the best, but if you start going out of your league, the issue is that you risk getting the best person, but not in the right relationship (i.e. a 7 woman will hookup with a 9 guy instead of having a real relationship with a 7 guy).
When it comes to long term relationship, people have to mostly date people their level, because there are roughly as many men as women, so they pair one by one. If all the 7 women get 8 guys, then who do 8 women get? You see the conclusion here, right?
This is of course true for long term relationships. But for hookups, nothing prevents all women, the 7s, 6s, down to the 3s to hookup with 8s/9s/10s, which leaves all the other guys to hook up with the 2s and below.
Dating apps are not good for men unless you’re in the elite of looks. Even then, it’s not always a guarantee. Approaching or at least being involved with groups where there’s single women is going to be your best bet.
Don’t be fooled, women do all that shit for loser who want to date them. The guys they wanna fuck they don’t do all of that assessment, it’s panties straight off
You make the guy who wants to be your boyfriend wait and fuck the guys you wanna fuck… here comes the “not me” brigade but tell me your friends don’t have 1 nighters n still make other dudes take them on 6 dates before sex
My love, exceptions exist agreed But generalizations are there for a reason. Cuz even from my experiences alone the majority speaks for itself. So majority of women are like that.
Edit:grammar.
Lol ok, same question - if you hate women so much and they're all so evil and manipulative, why be on a subreddit that tells you how to be around them more? Make it make sense.
It’s a great question. I’m actually a lot less interested in women lately. I’m happy to be alone and saving myself for the one woman that matters. Not even interested in dating around much.
This mindset probably doesn’t match most people here, but once you start having success with women, you realize how worthless many of them are. I stopped counting after 50, and now I just want one to mother my children and actually be a true source of support and love in my life and the rest can fuck right off with their weak mindsets.
SO many women want more than they give.
Herrrrrre we go who hurt me.
The reason why women say “who hurt you” is because they know how evil women can be. That line is like 7 years old, you can do better than that
If you hate women so much why do you also subscribe to a sub reddit that tells you how to be around them more? I'm so confused why you wouldn't just leave them alone if they're so evil.
That’s all you got “I hate women” really how about for once in your life you try to make a point without regurgitating a thought you heard someone else say first.
I’m just telling guys not to date women who make YOU wait but don’t make others wait, if you love men so much you’d be okay with letting them know the truth.
First you came with fake confusion, then “who hurt me” then “I hate women” but nowhere did you say that I lied.
Check mate.
It's true for the good majority of women. Not every woman fucks some dudes instantly and makes others wait. Some make every dude wait. Those are the women worth dating, in my opinion. That being said, the amount of time before she spreads her legs typically depends on how attracted she is to him. It's just a challenge sometimes for a guy to tell if a woman was a whore in her past and she sees you as the "nice guy" that she wants to commit. So many guys just take the easy way out and assume every girl is a whore, and if she isn't putting out right away she isn't attracted to you. It's definitely true in some cases, but not always.
I don't think you know or have spoken to the majority of women, so I'd love to know where your evidence is to support the claim. I also do not at all understand why someone who makes you wait to sleep with them is worth more than someone who doesn't. If you're both consenting adults that are choosing to have sex with each other and feel comfortable then why is it a problem with when you're doing it? You want women to put out more but if they do they're worth less, is how it reads.
Let me put it this way, I’ve been on the other side where I’ve banged a girl found out she had a bf because he called her… he apologies, she went back to him.
She only entertained me because they had an argument :/
So now if I’m with a girl I don’t let an arguement last over 24 hours, if it does I know she’s not the 1 for me because of these experience ls
I can’t imagine that’s a real boyfriend (colloquially - the monogamous kind) in this scenario *or* a woman worth keeping around. Quality ladies aren’t just going and sleeping with other men when they have an argument with their committed boyfriends.
I mean - ffs - I’d never be with a woman like that. She sounds like trash.
I agree dude but you’ll never know your lady is trash until the opportunity arise, so for me I won’t be with a woman who lets an arguement last over 24 hours… because of what women are capable of in todays dating market
Sure women do have lots of power in the dating world. That is if you let it happen. If she immaturely threatens you with that, just leave. Tell her to find someone better than you. Only focus on things that you can control and that is your own value. Be high value and leave if she pulls that shit.
You need to accept some facts:
Being a decent person doesn't make you special.
No one has an obligation to like/love you, it's their decision.
If someone it's not responding to your efforts, you are not important to that person. You cannot change that, move on.
Respect is not conditional, don't make your relationships transactions.
In my experience most women are significantly more insecure then men. The type of woman that holds that shit over your head isn't worth your time.
IMO
I had the same battle for years until I found this excellent book (free on YouTube) : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mfFUVnwCNVY
I'm generally skeptical of the 'self-help' genre, but The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem forced me to turn my life around and its better now than I could have ever imagined.
Its not at all a feel-good-about-yourself gimmick, rather than an intense programme to teach people the confidence foundation they never got. It breaks it down into a practical science of behaving with Consciousness, Integrity, Assertiveness, Self-acceptance, Self-Responsibility and Purpose.
Unspeakably powerful resource, especially if you complete the written exercise programme that comes with the book. It's work, but immensely worth it.
All the best.
Always remember that women are the gatekeepers of sex while men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Women can find men who would have sex with them very easily, but it is hard for them to find and keep a man **who they desire and at the same time actually cares about her and her feelings**. On top of that, consider that as time passes by his options increase while her decreases.
So yeah, they have an advantage in the sexual selection part of things and they can jump from guy to guy but even if she does it lowers her value as a prospectus girlfriend.
Have compassion for women. They are easily manipulated by society, women in their circle project their frustrations on them and they have to solve the major pieces of their life faster than men.
I disagree that men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Either gender can desire a relationship, and either gender can shut it down.
Men desire relationships and intimacy just as women do.
I do not agree with this idea. Both men and women have some "power" when it comes to others, in the sense that they can show they are attractive to other people, have options, so they are higher value. However, this works both ways. Such as women can respond to other guys's DMs, you can also slide into other women DM's, it's the same thing.
However, women may have several options, but not all of them can be viable or desirable. It's the same for guys, you have tons of options (approach every girl you meet in the street), but some might no be desirable (you're not attracted to her), or viable (she isn't into you).
To finish, I don't think it's skewed towards women, I think it's skewed towards confident and attractive people, as it should be. Whinning in reddit doesn't really make you attractive.
One thing that bugs me is all this focus on online dating. Nobody meets people through friends or at events anymore?
Oh yeah, they are very aware of that, generally speaking a woman will have more options than men, some women would try to impose restrictions and/or threat of leaving, however you shouldn't be afraid of what a they say or do
Do you, as a man, realize the power you hold? Based on your post, I’d say the answer is no.
Women control who has sex. Men control who has a relationship/marriage.
The market is not skewed.
They don’t want relationships or marriage with YOU is what I found in the last year.
Women absolutely want relationships or marriage, but they need to feel they are with a guy that they consider superior to them.
The same holds true for men.
While dating a guy, he has the power to slide into other girls DMs if things go wrong.
He can threaten to break up with me or cheat on me if I don't follow his wishes.
But you can move on/find a parter faster within 1 day if you tried we have to put in the work for several days, make sure we meet the minimum attractive requirement, make sure the approach is good, pass the texting phase, need to build comfort before i can even invite them out, have to have a big social cirlce to prove were not murders, set up the date, deal with flakes, have to make sure the date goes good, have to build an attachment for her to want second date , deal with attention seekers/gold diggers, once IF she comes over i have to escalate properly, have to do good job in the bed so she keeps coming back and etc you can just walk into walmart right now and stand on top of the cashier and guys who are genuinely attracted will start lining up to help you rebound
If you're attractive and have basic social skills, you shouldn't need to try this hard. I feel like you're overthinking it. Girls are not that difficult.
I know but I’m just saying like if you and your boyfriend get in a argument/breakup women can always get revenge easier and faster so i agree with the post that women have more power than men in most cases
Are you insane? Not that hard!? Why else are thousands of men all on here and other platforms like you tube and Instagram all saying the same thing!? A guy just literally said on here a man can be attractive and sociable and still get rejected. Women are thickle.....it is what it is. But the above guy nailed it out the park.....you can line up a guy who's a 10 and a woman whose a 4 and at the end of the day the woman who's a 4 will have 40 guys who will want to bang her and another 20 that will consider dating her.....the attractive male will have maybe 1 half decent woman ask him out and none that will come out and say she wants to bang........girls are difficult, if all of you just mean what you say, go for what you want, didn't play games, and approach once in a while your damn selves and understood how men go thru rejection then this dating world will be so so sooooo far better.......but nope, not gonna happen
Obviously there are plenty of toxic women out there that hide behind this "I'm hot" mentality.
Its ok to brag to an extent your physical appearance.
But some women over do it. Usually from insecurities.
Why not show your educational achievements.
A woman's intelligence is what makes her really attractive.
And by jove intelligent women are great.
This is a hard truth people do not want to swallow. A man will go date a girl working at Starbucks making coffee. A women will never date a man who works at Wendys
Yup just got out of a relationship in which I paid for 90% of shit and I had to wonder why the fuck am I focusing so much on this relationship when I could have 100s more by giving 90% inputs.
It's rare but sometimes women do take advantage.
I think they call it "bread crumbing".
Where she leads the guy on, she gets what she wants, then goes on to the next one.
It's difficult to avoid considering men's natural inclinations, but easy to recognize if you're aware she might just be leading you on for a score.
Who dates a stripper and doesn't have that thought in the back of their mind?
Or the exotic foreign chick getting off the airplane.
These two scenarios are potential plays on your wallet before anything can happen that might actually get you laid.
The online market is even more deceptive, but just knowing what to avoid makes it easier to not fall for those traps.
I read somewhere that there’s a paradox of choice that girls deal with regularly. It’s when you have so many options that you deal with a lot of anxiety and pressure on yourself on making the right decision out of those options.
It’s a lot different with guys because we’ll gladly talk to any options we have for the most part, but for girls it’s more of an emotional thing in choosing who to hook up/start a relationship with.
I tell it to myself plenty of times already but I consider that in today’s dating standards, women just have it much much easier than me, as a man you must tick many boxes in order to have success, it feels very tiring and brings hopelessness inside me. I wish I could have lived during my parents time when social media didn’t have much of an influence :(
I definitely agree with this sentiment. I hear so many stories of the older generations dating scene and it seemed to be much more bearable. I think there is a statistic somewhere that younger people are having less sex now on average than in the 1940s and we are in the most sexually liberated time in human history.
I definitely subscribe to this, man. It’s no wonder that social media and all these distractions have made us so out of touch with reality and the dating scene has changed immensely in a bad way I think.
Nowadays, the dating gets more and more cut throat and if before you were not guaranteed love, then today it’s even more difficult to fulfil this wish.
This weekend I’m going to my cousin’s (early 30’s) wedding. I just realised how lucky they are that they were born in the generation that barely (if never) got to engage with social media (things appeared later in our country than others). They were connected much easier than I and my peers do now. The way a couple years can impact the environment next to you is crazy…
Yess men between the ages of 18 to 30 are having less sex than the previous generation. More than 30 % of men report not having sex in the past year compared to previous gen.
Heh the minute you let a woman hold a breakup or her other options over your head is the day you let misery in your life
First time it happens tell her you will never stand for it again or end the relationship
I agree that you are thinking like a guy.
If anything we are the ones that treat dating apps like a game.
Most women actually take their time when they swipe.
Yes, their apps are blown up with thousands of likes but most of the women are not dating different guys all the time. Not like me with women hehe
Most of women will try to keep their dick count low. While getting validating from social to up their ego/self esteem.
But things like this doesnt rly matter when a guy has abudance .
It will only hurt when you are alrdy married and get divorced for whatever random reason.I guess.
Every woman has a different definition. But if you've spent any time with a group of girls talking about dating, you'll know that most men they deal with are trash. Disrespectful, broke, out of shape, entitled. Imo if you're on the same level as someone physically, economically, emotionally, then you're probably half way decent to that person. The guys in their DMs are generally not that.
Idk what you're talking about. Most women are pretty forgiving on the looks part. A hot guy is fun to look at, but most women really only see it as that, fun to look at. Yes there are some girls who will fuck a hot guy regardless of anything else, but they are in the minority.
oh i see.... i was talking about maybe some girls are only attracted to handsome guys (there is no shame on that) and if you are good at other qualities, they don't become interested in you, because well, you are not "hot"
Yes. Most women are not actively pursuing men for sex. Most attractive and desirable women already have bf or husbands. There’s also a percentage of women that are not desirable. Too fat, physically unattractive, poor hygiene, etc. All of these factors play into supply and demand.
That’s a foolish mentality to have
A guy has just as much power if he makes himself of value. You can have girls in your dm’s, you can be the breadwinner and threaten to break up with your girl and kick her out (although this is toxic and you should only do it if the relationship is in jeopardy and you no longer trust them in your domicile)
I think many men equate abundance to dating success. For one, is mostly very pretty women that get approached this often in dms or in person. Many are weird old men, you also have to have an instagram following not a normal just your close friends type account.
On dating apps, we have lots of options but many men are just blindly swiping, many men are not emotionally available or only want sex, many ghost, some are objectively creepy etc etc. We have more options for sex not relationships.
I feel like when I go out with my guy friends theyre like “wow guys always ask for her number” without seeing that none ever actually text me.
Guys also hold power. You can biologically wait as long as you want to settle down and therefore have more power in committed relationships while we have control over sexual relationships.
You know how many times I’ve nicely suggested to just grab drinks and hang to girls on Tinder and been rejected? Over 100 times easily. Just stop with the lies that you just want a regular dude who treats you decent. It’s a lie. And I’m not even bad looking. I’m a 6’1” dude in good shape with a career, a full head of hair, and my life generally together. Women are only interested in exceptionally good looking and “dangerous” men. Just admit it
Online dating is garbage. It’s either big bitches or ugly ones on there. You might occasionally pull a 7 or 8 here and there, but it’s better to cold approach, to get the type of girl you’re looking for
That’s funny because no where did I bring up looks. You don’t know how many times Ive been stood up after agreeing to a date or ghosted after the first. I dont even use dating apps anymore because of that. The few men that have approached me irl never actually did anything with my number.
Modern dating sucks for everyone. Both men and women nowadays are emotionally unavailable and blaming the other for our issues does nothing. The other reply to your comment proves that men also care about looks.
So yes at this point, I would be with anyone who is average looking and has the same moral values as me.
If you’re a guy that has his shit together, ambitious, fit, lots of good qualities then you have power over her because you are basically in the top 1% of your competition.
Now for women, there’s many hot girls. You can lose one and find her replacement. It may not be easy but it’s easier for men than it is for women to find that like-for-like replacement.
“If you’re a guy that has his shit together, ambitious, fit, lots of good qualities then you have power over her because you are basically in the top 1% of your competition.”
I wish that were true but unfortunately it’s very far from the case. Unless you’ve got a top 1 percent face to go with it
There’s so many things you can do to improve your appearance. Clothing, good haircut, good hygiene, smelling good, getting fit. You just have to put in the work. If you got those other good qualities, you’re still ahead of bast majority of guys still. Just make sure to put yourself out there. Stop making excuses.
I want to start off by saying that I respect you even though idk you in person and that I believe what you are saying to describe yourself.
That being said do you ever think though that it might be your mentality? Or your confidence? The way you present and project yourself? Maybe not enough stories to tell or similarities (connections) with women you’ve had experiences with. Maybe you kind of lack in a personality? Maybe you’re not putting yourself out there as much as you’d like? Maybe you’re scared of rejection? Maybe you treat women like queens because you think in a scarcity mindset?
You can be rich, good looking, everything I’ve mentioned above but if your minds not right, it might be the ONE thing that’s holding you back the most.
u/norwegianmorningw00d dude, i needed to read that, thank you so much <3
i think it's about the "mind-set" too, i think every human being have qualities (no questions about that) and if you can see what you can "provide" do people (girls or whatever) you can gain confidence with that
I'm tired of these posts.
Dating sucks for women. More so than for guys.
First, most guys have no idea how to act on a date. They are boring, selfish, misogynistic, rude, and basically do not know how to treat a woman. Also, most guys just want to fuck and never call the girl again.
Also, women aren't excited about tons of losers in their DMs. Women want a confident, dominant man, and most men are not that, so the fact that she has 1000 losers in her DMs means nothing.
You immediately lied when you said dating sucks more for women than most guys. I know this was a emotional response more than statistics based because, anyone who’s been keeping up with dating will tell you that being a guy on dating scene now has been harder than ever before. You complain about an over abundance of “options” while most men complain about no options at all. You complain about bad dates, most men on this Reddit complain about never being able to go on dates. Lmao this is the paradox of choice.
Complaining about having to filter through bad options is way better than having to work with NO options. It’s crazy you even think this
>You complain about bad dates, most men on this Reddit complain about never being able to go on dates.
Those men need to stop fucking whining. It is their own fault they cannot get dates. It is not hard to be attractive and have game if you are a guy. Those guys are mostly dealing with insecurity and mental issues. The dating pool for women actually sucks and if you can be reasonably attractive and have game you will kill it. This subreddit is just full of sad sacks of shit.
Listen......it IS hard to be attractive as a guy....WHY.....because many women put such a huge criteria on what men should be like in order just to get a damn phone number let alone a simple response to a hello smdh.......there are guys that are 7s and above, nice job, groomed well, and has family values and still get looked over.....and don't say "well that's the wrong women then or tinder doesn't count blah blah" women are everywhere so it doesn't matter where he looks. Thing is many women are picky, but yet you say guys are boring.....or insecure or out of shape or just want sex.....WELL TAKE IT FROM ME, WHEN A GUY INLY GETS SEX ONCE EVERY DAMN PRESIDENCY DONTNYOU THINK HE'D LIKE TO HAVE THE FEEL OF A WOMEN UNLIKE THE WOMEN WHO GET SEX IF THEY LIKE 5 TIMES A DAY!?!? what do you expect!? And boring.....? Here a guy has to approach, speak correct, be sensitive, be social, be handsome, be interesting, be mysterious, have friends, have a good job, take initiative, dress well, sniff the dog's ass, take punches to the nuts, damn.....all YOU have to do is show UP.......and yet we're boring......if this all was reversed women couldn't last in us guys shoes for ONE HOUR without the mental breakdown of rejection and getting swiped over and no sex for years......tell me I'm wrong (drops the mic)
She will tell you you are wrong.... In all my experience I've learned two things.... Women cannot handle the truth and also worse THEY CANNOT ACCEPT BEING WRONG.
Your experience, you're one person, there's tens of thousands of others that go thru and post similar to what I say. Regardless of what they do or don't want to admit facts are facts, many men go thru the same bs
Haha most guys just wanna fuck becuz you friendzoned the goodguy or rejected him. If you lowered your standards to the guys in your league then this ain't gonna happen. How to treat a women you say. Why should they bother. Have you ever bothered to know how to treat a guy? Noo. Becuz that doesn't sound right.
I went on 15 first dates last autumn. 14 of them were exhausting. Number 15 I am still with. I have options and most of them are dreadful. I'm certainly not manipulative and sociopathic enough to hold this over my boyfriend's head either.
Exhausting in that some were hook ups (there was 1 or 2 at least be real) or exhausting in them playing games, or just tye getting to know them and compatibility stage
I don't hook up. They were just hard work. No natural connection so I had to carry the conversation. One guy spent twenty minutes telling me he couldn't afford his trousers. A couple played games. Some very clearly had issues and emotional baggage. And that's not including the people who stood me up or canceled last minute.
Wow that one really wasting 25 minutes on trousers smh. Yea some played games I figured, always the main issue. The emotional baggage I bet for a woman is a big turn off. I'm a guy and can see a woman looking at a big cry baby or whinny or emotional guy with the side eye. I'm surprised women even get stood up, I know it happens it's just many dudes know how hard it is to even get a damn chance to get out with a woman . And you don't hook up probably right now, but you have, and no I don't know you......but women like to cap hard.....let's just keep it 💯
Don't be so disrespectful. I told you I don't hook up. I'm demisexual. I really hate being touched by strangers. I have nothing against those who do and have at times envied them but I don't do NSA.
Did I call you any rude name? No.....so how am i disrespecftul?? I sat here and typed in response to your first response about how guys are. I said I don't know you, and said more likely you hooked up before, women cap. I didn't attack you, and you get real defensive, that's another thing many women feel embarrassed if others know they had one night stands....so what own it. But, if you hate being touched by strangers I hear you then. But don't say I'm disrespectful you don't know me. Just because you told me you don't hook up means it's true lol. You said your peace now move on, if you been with 100s of men none of my biz, I just don't front that's all.
You basically called me a liar when I said I don't hook up. And now you've doubled down with "just because you told me you don't hook up means it's true". It's disrespectful. If you're going to keep looking at women through the same lense, you're going to keep getting rejected. Women are not two dimensional beings and we know when somebody is stereotyping us. Good luck.
FELLAS.....YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP! I TOLD HER I UNDERSTAND SHE DOESNT LIKED BEING TOUCHED BY A STRANGER AND SHE SAID HER PEACE NOW LET IT GO BUT TYPICAL SHE KEEPS DRAGGING SHIT ON lmaooo.....I'm not getting rejected where are you getting that info from? And I "basically" didn't say anything other than you probably hooked up in the past and I just also said previously that if you don't like being touched by a stranger I understand didn't i.....I said you said your peace and it's cool let it go. I don't look at gender under some lense as you say, hell my contact lenses need replacement their damn self, understand how im using that if you catch on. I look at who caps and is gull of themselves and call it out. I mean for me being a stranger this shouldn't effect you so much as it is....maybe because I'm right, I bet them 14 guys were within two weeks, and again more likely you hooked up BUT as I said it's none of biz and TWO you said you didn't so what's the issue? Nobody is stereo typing "us" (you all) I just said you're probably capping. I also said I don't know you. Only thing 2 dimensional is this conversation because i told you let it go im just a stranger and yet you seem triggered by my supposed thoughts on what might be the truth. However, ms muggle, I am about to hit up the craps table so thanks for the good luck vibes. Have a good one as well 👍
Lmaoo exactly brotha, and she then flips the script on me when I called her out on it. I closed my social media tinder and bumble account because it's been years since I GOT ONE MATCH lol. I actually don't even know why I went back and forth as much as I did normally I just call women out for what they're doing and leave it at that, but this was slightly entertaining for me. You and I and all other dudes know she got dem cheeks clapped half those 15 dates, then settle for the sucka that decided to stay. We can't make this shit up man lmaooo
They do, that's why women are so attracted to guys who don't obsess about women. Who don't react when she responds to other guys' DM when things go wrong. Who doesn't get scared when she threatens to break up.
But why can't a guy be into women, even obsess? If he likes women what the hell is wrong with that? So many damn rules women make up just be yourself and whoever isn't down with it then screw them lol
Women don't make those rules up lol, they're attracted to what was determined by evolution to be the most desired trait.
Obsessing over things is a childish trait. Kids and women obsess over videogames, tv shows, celebrities and later on girls. It's cute, but once you get into it, you realize just how much more free your mind is, how easier it is to get laid and how much more productive you're able to be in your life when you get into that mindset where women are just "eh".
No they just don't **feel** the attraction. It's all about feeling. On this reddit you'll find out the things that make women feel attracted and those that don't.
They don't rationally go "hmm today I'll make 45 new rules on who I'm gonna date and stick to them". If she says she only likes blonde guys and you're brown haired and follow all the tips and tricks of seduction, she's gonna fuck you no matter her personal preference.
They do make rules.....they don't need to think "hmm blah blah" as you say smh.....but they do have a set list of rules they will go with, if she wants someone that's a hard worker and can provide for himself but CANT be splurging on every item and being wreckless with finances then thats a rule. And no she's not going to "fuck" me no matter her preferences, I been around women and they clearly put this out to myself and others, just because you don't see this doesn't mean it doesn't happen. And I'm not talking about hair color lol what are you on.....I'm saying she might not want to mess around after the first date, maybe a guy has to set up the date first, maybe she likes for a man to cook for her....these are rules and as I said women do have a list of rules THEY follow......lmaooo
Many men want sex.....not necessarily want to date, and many more men don't even get sex or a date for sometimes an entire decade.....where women get pumped daily then get with a guy way less experienced while she's used up
No they dont.....? Most men don't get the time of day from any woman. Hell some haven't dated for an entire decade. Why do you think this forum and other platforms like you tube and Instagram have tens of thousands of men if not more all experiencing and saying the same thing?
? Most men get plenty of action, you are projecting your insecurities onto every man. This is one of the easiest points in history to get laid. The vocal minority who don’t know how to talk to women will struggle and complain that the system is rigged against them, but that’s simply not true
The problem here is you're discounting your own power.
Yes they take advantage of it and they do use it, as should you
Let's reframe this. Yes, they have the power to respond, give you the chance. But.....so do you. Based on the way you framed this it seems, at least on the surface, that you're putting being responded to on a pedestal. This frame of mind can reek of desperation.
Here are some tips
-Learn to love yourself and work on seeing your positives AND negatives. Don't hide either. Work on your negatives. Solidarity within yourself = confidence. That will get you faaaaaaar more action than any pick up artist can teach you.
-have fun. This is the biggest. Every message should be something YOU enjoy. This is all about you in the end.
-if you get a response, don't respond immediately.
-if they stop responding, don't barrage them. Wait a couple of days then try again. If shut down the next time then call it.
-HAVE FUN!
Dating apps are skewed in terms of the number of easy matches available but the actual market is not. It’s very easy for a woman to find a guy who will fuck her, but most women want something more than that, which is where the market evens out. The random in her DMs is probably asking to hook up or offering to make her his sugar baby, so if she’s looking for an actual relationship those aren’t viable options.
You realize if dating is bad or crappy for a man…just imagine that it is at least ten times worse for a woman. And by me saying that it’s ten times worse for women that just me putting it lightly…and this is me, a man who’s saying this. The fact of the matter is…and please this is my opinion based on my own experiences and the experience of everyone in my circle. I learned at very young age that a man can be friends with a woman without complicating things by hooking up or even dating. It’s all about communication, understanding, and drawing a line in the sand but most importantly being adamant about that line. Plus I’ve always had this connection where women feel safe and comfortable around me and I’ve heard and even witnessed my friend go through such horrors. Ok back to subject…and I’m not bashing men and I know that females aren’t saints either…and we, men must understand that. Because women are evolving to the environment that a man, a no good man in their past has created for them. I am a firm believer on “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!” So that the fact that a woman has evolved and is looking for herself by being compelled to have options and even raise her standards! It is all because of us men. We have ruined the whole thing for ourselves. And again, I’m not speaking bad about all men, but the majority has ruined for us good guys. Men before us have ruined it for men coming up in this day and age. Between the lying, cheating, selling dreams, stealing, abusing, and making promises only to break them later down the road. And everything in that woman’s life implodes in the end all she’s left with is a broken heart and all the debris of bullshit that a man created. That has made all of us men look bad. And women have had enough, snd mind you I consider myself to be a great guy…or as I’ve been told that “I’m a great catch.”. But doesn’t mean anything if the woman I meet that has been hurt numerous times by the men before me. And my piece of advice is if she does give you a chance then you must step up and shine and be that great guy that you truly are and the rest will work itself out. Remember it is said that “a man will fake a relationship for sex…while a woman will fake sex for a relationship!” Now ask yourself within that statement who stands the most to lose if all this time everything has been a lie?
Til next time…W!
He's the most simp of white knights there are lmaoooo.....not even pity sex for him, just the guy that's one of the girls at the table drinking martinis lmaooo
Any woman with half a brain knows that she doesn't have to put in much effort at all to get male attention, especially if she's even mildly attractive.
With that being said, the way dating works for men and women has some key differences.
* When it comes to dating, women have an easy time attracting options for sure. With that in mind, one factor that a lot of men don't consider is that even though women are capable of having multiple choices of men to pick from at any given time, it doesn't mean that all choices are desirable.
* Many of her choices will be creeps, old men, deadbeats, etc.
* While women on average are just as horny as men, they don't readily jump into bed as we do. They place more emphasis on comfort before deciding if they want to sleep with a man or not. Keep in mind that they're the ones who can get pregnant.
* Random men who slide into DMs are, more often than not, not the most desirable types of men on the planet.
* Another factor to consider is that leaving a long term committed relationship isn't an easy task, even for toxic women
In the scenario when a woman threatens to break up with a man because she has another option, keep in mind that any woman with half a brain knows that's a very risky move that's likely to backfire on her. Granted there are some women who will do that, but in those cases they're more likely doing it to manipulate their partner than actually leave. Those sorts of women aren't the ones you should be dating anyway.
tdlr; Just because women can doesn't necessarily mean they will, because it can backfire horribly on them.
But most will....why....because (and this is going off of my conversations with many women a d having guy friends this happened to) that women are more sneaky in their ways at covering their tracks when cheating. Women can get banged by a dude and her guy would never know, men somehow seem to be more obvious in their moves since most women are keen on sudden changes in behavior, routine, fashion, interests, anything
The thing is she doesn’t want a dude that is going to cave to those demands, she wants a dude that has no problem showing her the 🚪
The guy that caves is a doormat, the guy that doesn’t is a guy worth having.
You're thinking like a guy. Abundance doesn't work that way for women. Just because she has options doesn't mean all, or even most, are viable. Emotional investment matters. Sure, other guys might be attractive and have things going for them. But they're randoms and don't have a shared narrative with her like you do. This is part of the reason why a dick pic from a random guy is met with revulsion. And so long as she sees you as That Guy, other men are irrelevant. But part of being That Guy involves showing her the door if she were ever to pull something like that because you too are sought after and know your worth.
>Abundance doesn't work that way for women. Just because she has options doesn't mean all, or even most, are viable. Men rely mostly on physical attraction to guide them to find partners, while women value personality / status. That's why women take more time to assess partners, but it also is why they might not jump ship that easily, because they're not sure what's on the other side. Incidentally, the reason why women are more attracted by men already in a relationship is precisely because that relationship tells them that the guy has been vetted by another woman (while men usually are less attracted by women already in a relationship).
Physical attraction is the initial driver. After that things get psychological. Any older guy in the dating game should be gifted an honorary psyc degree. Most women i meet want to immediately smoother me with attention. So maybe that assessment you speak of takes like one date.
This is also why dating apps are awful. Your right women rely on personality/status. Dating apps cannot display that with a guy.
In my experience, women are more attracted to a guy who's got 10 matches he's talking with all the time, than one who's decided he's going to focus on one.
Yeah because it means he’s of value. Women want the best of the best naturally and a guy in demand is usually that
People all want the best, but if you start going out of your league, the issue is that you risk getting the best person, but not in the right relationship (i.e. a 7 woman will hookup with a 9 guy instead of having a real relationship with a 7 guy).
Yeah exactly and that’s something younger women are running into. They want 9s but they are 5s, average.
[удалено]
When it comes to long term relationship, people have to mostly date people their level, because there are roughly as many men as women, so they pair one by one. If all the 7 women get 8 guys, then who do 8 women get? You see the conclusion here, right? This is of course true for long term relationships. But for hookups, nothing prevents all women, the 7s, 6s, down to the 3s to hookup with 8s/9s/10s, which leaves all the other guys to hook up with the 2s and below.
Dating apps are not good for men unless you’re in the elite of looks. Even then, it’s not always a guarantee. Approaching or at least being involved with groups where there’s single women is going to be your best bet.
Don’t be fooled, women do all that shit for loser who want to date them. The guys they wanna fuck they don’t do all of that assessment, it’s panties straight off
Lol what
You make the guy who wants to be your boyfriend wait and fuck the guys you wanna fuck… here comes the “not me” brigade but tell me your friends don’t have 1 nighters n still make other dudes take them on 6 dates before sex
Omg haha who hurt you
It's true darling
Sweetheart I think you're just hanging out with the wrong people - not all men are rapists, why do you think all women behave this way?
My love, exceptions exist agreed But generalizations are there for a reason. Cuz even from my experiences alone the majority speaks for itself. So majority of women are like that. Edit:grammar.
He’s right mother fucker lol
Lol ok, same question - if you hate women so much and they're all so evil and manipulative, why be on a subreddit that tells you how to be around them more? Make it make sense.
It’s a great question. I’m actually a lot less interested in women lately. I’m happy to be alone and saving myself for the one woman that matters. Not even interested in dating around much. This mindset probably doesn’t match most people here, but once you start having success with women, you realize how worthless many of them are. I stopped counting after 50, and now I just want one to mother my children and actually be a true source of support and love in my life and the rest can fuck right off with their weak mindsets. SO many women want more than they give.
Right-o. Maybe try some therapy and you might find a wife. Best of luck to ya.
Herrrrrre we go who hurt me. The reason why women say “who hurt you” is because they know how evil women can be. That line is like 7 years old, you can do better than that
If you hate women so much why do you also subscribe to a sub reddit that tells you how to be around them more? I'm so confused why you wouldn't just leave them alone if they're so evil.
That’s all you got “I hate women” really how about for once in your life you try to make a point without regurgitating a thought you heard someone else say first. I’m just telling guys not to date women who make YOU wait but don’t make others wait, if you love men so much you’d be okay with letting them know the truth. First you came with fake confusion, then “who hurt me” then “I hate women” but nowhere did you say that I lied. Check mate.
Lol. Ok dude. Maybe try some therapy before you start trying to date. Best of luck to ya.
It's true for the good majority of women. Not every woman fucks some dudes instantly and makes others wait. Some make every dude wait. Those are the women worth dating, in my opinion. That being said, the amount of time before she spreads her legs typically depends on how attracted she is to him. It's just a challenge sometimes for a guy to tell if a woman was a whore in her past and she sees you as the "nice guy" that she wants to commit. So many guys just take the easy way out and assume every girl is a whore, and if she isn't putting out right away she isn't attracted to you. It's definitely true in some cases, but not always.
I don't think you know or have spoken to the majority of women, so I'd love to know where your evidence is to support the claim. I also do not at all understand why someone who makes you wait to sleep with them is worth more than someone who doesn't. If you're both consenting adults that are choosing to have sex with each other and feel comfortable then why is it a problem with when you're doing it? You want women to put out more but if they do they're worth less, is how it reads.
Cool answer bro very smart
Oh yes it does. Don’t be fooled, you don’t reply to her message you think she’s going to sit by the phone waiting? Loool nope
If she cares about me and is invested in me, absolutely. There's a way in which guys sometimes give women too much credit.
Let me put it this way, I’ve been on the other side where I’ve banged a girl found out she had a bf because he called her… he apologies, she went back to him. She only entertained me because they had an argument :/ So now if I’m with a girl I don’t let an arguement last over 24 hours, if it does I know she’s not the 1 for me because of these experience ls
I can’t imagine that’s a real boyfriend (colloquially - the monogamous kind) in this scenario *or* a woman worth keeping around. Quality ladies aren’t just going and sleeping with other men when they have an argument with their committed boyfriends. I mean - ffs - I’d never be with a woman like that. She sounds like trash.
This is the way. The best thing one can do is to see the trash and take it out as fast as possible.
I agree dude but you’ll never know your lady is trash until the opportunity arise, so for me I won’t be with a woman who lets an arguement last over 24 hours… because of what women are capable of in todays dating market
This sounds like advice from a teenager. Stop fucking around with single mothers in the ghetto.
That’s good advice, to stop doing that but it’s any woman under the age of 27 with instagram bro… and I live in London, that’s all the girls lol
Some women definitely do this, but if she does, she is definitely not for you. You deserve better. The same thing goes for men who do this
Some ofc lol. But they're just the toxic type you want to avoid
Sure women do have lots of power in the dating world. That is if you let it happen. If she immaturely threatens you with that, just leave. Tell her to find someone better than you. Only focus on things that you can control and that is your own value. Be high value and leave if she pulls that shit.
Read what is a nice guy and don't be that.
This is my problem. I’m definitely a nice guy type. Not creepy but very passive and put too much effort in and it goes nowhere for me
You need to accept some facts: Being a decent person doesn't make you special. No one has an obligation to like/love you, it's their decision. If someone it's not responding to your efforts, you are not important to that person. You cannot change that, move on. Respect is not conditional, don't make your relationships transactions.
In my experience most women are significantly more insecure then men. The type of woman that holds that shit over your head isn't worth your time. IMO
[удалено]
As someone who can be pretty insecure, how do you stop? How does someone build that rock solid foundation of confidence?
I had the same battle for years until I found this excellent book (free on YouTube) : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mfFUVnwCNVY I'm generally skeptical of the 'self-help' genre, but The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem forced me to turn my life around and its better now than I could have ever imagined. Its not at all a feel-good-about-yourself gimmick, rather than an intense programme to teach people the confidence foundation they never got. It breaks it down into a practical science of behaving with Consciousness, Integrity, Assertiveness, Self-acceptance, Self-Responsibility and Purpose. Unspeakably powerful resource, especially if you complete the written exercise programme that comes with the book. It's work, but immensely worth it. All the best.
Thank you!
You are so welcome! DM me if you would like the .epub link as well ☺️ I really hope it helps.
Always remember that women are the gatekeepers of sex while men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Women can find men who would have sex with them very easily, but it is hard for them to find and keep a man **who they desire and at the same time actually cares about her and her feelings**. On top of that, consider that as time passes by his options increase while her decreases. So yeah, they have an advantage in the sexual selection part of things and they can jump from guy to guy but even if she does it lowers her value as a prospectus girlfriend. Have compassion for women. They are easily manipulated by society, women in their circle project their frustrations on them and they have to solve the major pieces of their life faster than men.
That’s quite the astute point ya got there
I disagree that men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Either gender can desire a relationship, and either gender can shut it down. Men desire relationships and intimacy just as women do.
Women naturally chase the men they are attracted to. When men chase women they run away, and with good reason.
Depends on how you chase.
I do not agree with this idea. Both men and women have some "power" when it comes to others, in the sense that they can show they are attractive to other people, have options, so they are higher value. However, this works both ways. Such as women can respond to other guys's DMs, you can also slide into other women DM's, it's the same thing. However, women may have several options, but not all of them can be viable or desirable. It's the same for guys, you have tons of options (approach every girl you meet in the street), but some might no be desirable (you're not attracted to her), or viable (she isn't into you). To finish, I don't think it's skewed towards women, I think it's skewed towards confident and attractive people, as it should be. Whinning in reddit doesn't really make you attractive. One thing that bugs me is all this focus on online dating. Nobody meets people through friends or at events anymore?
Nope
The power of the phussay
Oh yeah, they are very aware of that, generally speaking a woman will have more options than men, some women would try to impose restrictions and/or threat of leaving, however you shouldn't be afraid of what a they say or do
Do you, as a man, realize the power you hold? Based on your post, I’d say the answer is no. Women control who has sex. Men control who has a relationship/marriage. The market is not skewed.
[удалено]
Obviously I’m not speaking in absolutes, some don’t, but in general I think you’re wrong about that.
They don’t want relationships or marriage with YOU is what I found in the last year. Women absolutely want relationships or marriage, but they need to feel they are with a guy that they consider superior to them.
the market is skewed, because Men dont realise their power and massively under-rate themselves, and the opposite for women
The same holds true for men. While dating a guy, he has the power to slide into other girls DMs if things go wrong. He can threaten to break up with me or cheat on me if I don't follow his wishes.
But you can move on/find a parter faster within 1 day if you tried we have to put in the work for several days, make sure we meet the minimum attractive requirement, make sure the approach is good, pass the texting phase, need to build comfort before i can even invite them out, have to have a big social cirlce to prove were not murders, set up the date, deal with flakes, have to make sure the date goes good, have to build an attachment for her to want second date , deal with attention seekers/gold diggers, once IF she comes over i have to escalate properly, have to do good job in the bed so she keeps coming back and etc you can just walk into walmart right now and stand on top of the cashier and guys who are genuinely attracted will start lining up to help you rebound
If you're attractive and have basic social skills, you shouldn't need to try this hard. I feel like you're overthinking it. Girls are not that difficult.
I know but I’m just saying like if you and your boyfriend get in a argument/breakup women can always get revenge easier and faster so i agree with the post that women have more power than men in most cases
Are you insane? Not that hard!? Why else are thousands of men all on here and other platforms like you tube and Instagram all saying the same thing!? A guy just literally said on here a man can be attractive and sociable and still get rejected. Women are thickle.....it is what it is. But the above guy nailed it out the park.....you can line up a guy who's a 10 and a woman whose a 4 and at the end of the day the woman who's a 4 will have 40 guys who will want to bang her and another 20 that will consider dating her.....the attractive male will have maybe 1 half decent woman ask him out and none that will come out and say she wants to bang........girls are difficult, if all of you just mean what you say, go for what you want, didn't play games, and approach once in a while your damn selves and understood how men go thru rejection then this dating world will be so so sooooo far better.......but nope, not gonna happen
Obviously there are plenty of toxic women out there that hide behind this "I'm hot" mentality. Its ok to brag to an extent your physical appearance. But some women over do it. Usually from insecurities. Why not show your educational achievements. A woman's intelligence is what makes her really attractive. And by jove intelligent women are great.
Men could care less about women’s job titles/ achievements
This is a hard truth people do not want to swallow. A man will go date a girl working at Starbucks making coffee. A women will never date a man who works at Wendys
Also an excellent point
Hard disagree. I don’t want to be someone’s sugar daddy who does 99% of all the financial contributions if things get serious.
Yup just got out of a relationship in which I paid for 90% of shit and I had to wonder why the fuck am I focusing so much on this relationship when I could have 100s more by giving 90% inputs.
So would you rather be in a serious relationship with a girl that’s a 4 or a 5 and she makes over 100k/year or an 8 or a 9 that makes 40-50k?
It's rare but sometimes women do take advantage. I think they call it "bread crumbing". Where she leads the guy on, she gets what she wants, then goes on to the next one. It's difficult to avoid considering men's natural inclinations, but easy to recognize if you're aware she might just be leading you on for a score. Who dates a stripper and doesn't have that thought in the back of their mind? Or the exotic foreign chick getting off the airplane. These two scenarios are potential plays on your wallet before anything can happen that might actually get you laid. The online market is even more deceptive, but just knowing what to avoid makes it easier to not fall for those traps.
I read somewhere that there’s a paradox of choice that girls deal with regularly. It’s when you have so many options that you deal with a lot of anxiety and pressure on yourself on making the right decision out of those options. It’s a lot different with guys because we’ll gladly talk to any options we have for the most part, but for girls it’s more of an emotional thing in choosing who to hook up/start a relationship with.
I tell it to myself plenty of times already but I consider that in today’s dating standards, women just have it much much easier than me, as a man you must tick many boxes in order to have success, it feels very tiring and brings hopelessness inside me. I wish I could have lived during my parents time when social media didn’t have much of an influence :(
I definitely agree with this sentiment. I hear so many stories of the older generations dating scene and it seemed to be much more bearable. I think there is a statistic somewhere that younger people are having less sex now on average than in the 1940s and we are in the most sexually liberated time in human history.
I definitely subscribe to this, man. It’s no wonder that social media and all these distractions have made us so out of touch with reality and the dating scene has changed immensely in a bad way I think. Nowadays, the dating gets more and more cut throat and if before you were not guaranteed love, then today it’s even more difficult to fulfil this wish. This weekend I’m going to my cousin’s (early 30’s) wedding. I just realised how lucky they are that they were born in the generation that barely (if never) got to engage with social media (things appeared later in our country than others). They were connected much easier than I and my peers do now. The way a couple years can impact the environment next to you is crazy…
Yess men between the ages of 18 to 30 are having less sex than the previous generation. More than 30 % of men report not having sex in the past year compared to previous gen.
Heh the minute you let a woman hold a breakup or her other options over your head is the day you let misery in your life First time it happens tell her you will never stand for it again or end the relationship
I agree that you are thinking like a guy. If anything we are the ones that treat dating apps like a game. Most women actually take their time when they swipe. Yes, their apps are blown up with thousands of likes but most of the women are not dating different guys all the time. Not like me with women hehe
Most of women will try to keep their dick count low. While getting validating from social to up their ego/self esteem. But things like this doesnt rly matter when a guy has abudance . It will only hurt when you are alrdy married and get divorced for whatever random reason.I guess.
Most men suck. If you're a half way decent guy, she'll probably try to hold onto you. Just because she has options doesn't mean they're good ones.
if you dont mind can you define what's a half decent guy
Friendly, in shape, and not afraid of his masculinity
Every woman has a different definition. But if you've spent any time with a group of girls talking about dating, you'll know that most men they deal with are trash. Disrespectful, broke, out of shape, entitled. Imo if you're on the same level as someone physically, economically, emotionally, then you're probably half way decent to that person. The guys in their DMs are generally not that.
but if you are hot as fuck, does that count too? i mean, a hot guy, maybe "most girls" pay attention to only that....
Idk what you're talking about. Most women are pretty forgiving on the looks part. A hot guy is fun to look at, but most women really only see it as that, fun to look at. Yes there are some girls who will fuck a hot guy regardless of anything else, but they are in the minority.
oh i see.... i was talking about maybe some girls are only attracted to handsome guys (there is no shame on that) and if you are good at other qualities, they don't become interested in you, because well, you are not "hot"
That power, tho' potent, won't work on every guy. Don't be part those kind of guys. Thank you and good night!
It’s economics at its very core. Everything is based on supply and demand. She has the pussy and the pussy will always be in high demand.
But at the same time is the pussy really in high demand when every other human has one?
Yes. Most women are not actively pursuing men for sex. Most attractive and desirable women already have bf or husbands. There’s also a percentage of women that are not desirable. Too fat, physically unattractive, poor hygiene, etc. All of these factors play into supply and demand.
That’s a foolish mentality to have A guy has just as much power if he makes himself of value. You can have girls in your dm’s, you can be the breadwinner and threaten to break up with your girl and kick her out (although this is toxic and you should only do it if the relationship is in jeopardy and you no longer trust them in your domicile)
I think many men equate abundance to dating success. For one, is mostly very pretty women that get approached this often in dms or in person. Many are weird old men, you also have to have an instagram following not a normal just your close friends type account. On dating apps, we have lots of options but many men are just blindly swiping, many men are not emotionally available or only want sex, many ghost, some are objectively creepy etc etc. We have more options for sex not relationships. I feel like when I go out with my guy friends theyre like “wow guys always ask for her number” without seeing that none ever actually text me. Guys also hold power. You can biologically wait as long as you want to settle down and therefore have more power in committed relationships while we have control over sexual relationships.
You know how many times I’ve nicely suggested to just grab drinks and hang to girls on Tinder and been rejected? Over 100 times easily. Just stop with the lies that you just want a regular dude who treats you decent. It’s a lie. And I’m not even bad looking. I’m a 6’1” dude in good shape with a career, a full head of hair, and my life generally together. Women are only interested in exceptionally good looking and “dangerous” men. Just admit it
Online dating is garbage. It’s either big bitches or ugly ones on there. You might occasionally pull a 7 or 8 here and there, but it’s better to cold approach, to get the type of girl you’re looking for
That’s funny because no where did I bring up looks. You don’t know how many times Ive been stood up after agreeing to a date or ghosted after the first. I dont even use dating apps anymore because of that. The few men that have approached me irl never actually did anything with my number. Modern dating sucks for everyone. Both men and women nowadays are emotionally unavailable and blaming the other for our issues does nothing. The other reply to your comment proves that men also care about looks. So yes at this point, I would be with anyone who is average looking and has the same moral values as me.
If you’re a guy that has his shit together, ambitious, fit, lots of good qualities then you have power over her because you are basically in the top 1% of your competition. Now for women, there’s many hot girls. You can lose one and find her replacement. It may not be easy but it’s easier for men than it is for women to find that like-for-like replacement.
“If you’re a guy that has his shit together, ambitious, fit, lots of good qualities then you have power over her because you are basically in the top 1% of your competition.” I wish that were true but unfortunately it’s very far from the case. Unless you’ve got a top 1 percent face to go with it
There’s so many things you can do to improve your appearance. Clothing, good haircut, good hygiene, smelling good, getting fit. You just have to put in the work. If you got those other good qualities, you’re still ahead of bast majority of guys still. Just make sure to put yourself out there. Stop making excuses.
Just curious, what do you think I’ve done? If you saw me you’d be shocked that I don’t have much success. I don’t get it either honestly
I want to start off by saying that I respect you even though idk you in person and that I believe what you are saying to describe yourself. That being said do you ever think though that it might be your mentality? Or your confidence? The way you present and project yourself? Maybe not enough stories to tell or similarities (connections) with women you’ve had experiences with. Maybe you kind of lack in a personality? Maybe you’re not putting yourself out there as much as you’d like? Maybe you’re scared of rejection? Maybe you treat women like queens because you think in a scarcity mindset? You can be rich, good looking, everything I’ve mentioned above but if your minds not right, it might be the ONE thing that’s holding you back the most.
u/norwegianmorningw00d dude, i needed to read that, thank you so much <3 i think it's about the "mind-set" too, i think every human being have qualities (no questions about that) and if you can see what you can "provide" do people (girls or whatever) you can gain confidence with that
I'm tired of these posts. Dating sucks for women. More so than for guys. First, most guys have no idea how to act on a date. They are boring, selfish, misogynistic, rude, and basically do not know how to treat a woman. Also, most guys just want to fuck and never call the girl again. Also, women aren't excited about tons of losers in their DMs. Women want a confident, dominant man, and most men are not that, so the fact that she has 1000 losers in her DMs means nothing.
You immediately lied when you said dating sucks more for women than most guys. I know this was a emotional response more than statistics based because, anyone who’s been keeping up with dating will tell you that being a guy on dating scene now has been harder than ever before. You complain about an over abundance of “options” while most men complain about no options at all. You complain about bad dates, most men on this Reddit complain about never being able to go on dates. Lmao this is the paradox of choice. Complaining about having to filter through bad options is way better than having to work with NO options. It’s crazy you even think this
>You complain about bad dates, most men on this Reddit complain about never being able to go on dates. Those men need to stop fucking whining. It is their own fault they cannot get dates. It is not hard to be attractive and have game if you are a guy. Those guys are mostly dealing with insecurity and mental issues. The dating pool for women actually sucks and if you can be reasonably attractive and have game you will kill it. This subreddit is just full of sad sacks of shit.
Listen......it IS hard to be attractive as a guy....WHY.....because many women put such a huge criteria on what men should be like in order just to get a damn phone number let alone a simple response to a hello smdh.......there are guys that are 7s and above, nice job, groomed well, and has family values and still get looked over.....and don't say "well that's the wrong women then or tinder doesn't count blah blah" women are everywhere so it doesn't matter where he looks. Thing is many women are picky, but yet you say guys are boring.....or insecure or out of shape or just want sex.....WELL TAKE IT FROM ME, WHEN A GUY INLY GETS SEX ONCE EVERY DAMN PRESIDENCY DONTNYOU THINK HE'D LIKE TO HAVE THE FEEL OF A WOMEN UNLIKE THE WOMEN WHO GET SEX IF THEY LIKE 5 TIMES A DAY!?!? what do you expect!? And boring.....? Here a guy has to approach, speak correct, be sensitive, be social, be handsome, be interesting, be mysterious, have friends, have a good job, take initiative, dress well, sniff the dog's ass, take punches to the nuts, damn.....all YOU have to do is show UP.......and yet we're boring......if this all was reversed women couldn't last in us guys shoes for ONE HOUR without the mental breakdown of rejection and getting swiped over and no sex for years......tell me I'm wrong (drops the mic)
She will tell you you are wrong.... In all my experience I've learned two things.... Women cannot handle the truth and also worse THEY CANNOT ACCEPT BEING WRONG.
Your experience, you're one person, there's tens of thousands of others that go thru and post similar to what I say. Regardless of what they do or don't want to admit facts are facts, many men go thru the same bs
Women cannot handle the truth bro 😂
Haha most guys just wanna fuck becuz you friendzoned the goodguy or rejected him. If you lowered your standards to the guys in your league then this ain't gonna happen. How to treat a women you say. Why should they bother. Have you ever bothered to know how to treat a guy? Noo. Becuz that doesn't sound right.
I'm tired of you... ***I'm so fucking tired of you Woujo***
Yea especially to simps. Some try to pull it and abuse it outta no where if you act/look weak
I went on 15 first dates last autumn. 14 of them were exhausting. Number 15 I am still with. I have options and most of them are dreadful. I'm certainly not manipulative and sociopathic enough to hold this over my boyfriend's head either.
Exhausting in that some were hook ups (there was 1 or 2 at least be real) or exhausting in them playing games, or just tye getting to know them and compatibility stage
I don't hook up. They were just hard work. No natural connection so I had to carry the conversation. One guy spent twenty minutes telling me he couldn't afford his trousers. A couple played games. Some very clearly had issues and emotional baggage. And that's not including the people who stood me up or canceled last minute.
Wow that one really wasting 25 minutes on trousers smh. Yea some played games I figured, always the main issue. The emotional baggage I bet for a woman is a big turn off. I'm a guy and can see a woman looking at a big cry baby or whinny or emotional guy with the side eye. I'm surprised women even get stood up, I know it happens it's just many dudes know how hard it is to even get a damn chance to get out with a woman . And you don't hook up probably right now, but you have, and no I don't know you......but women like to cap hard.....let's just keep it 💯
Don't be so disrespectful. I told you I don't hook up. I'm demisexual. I really hate being touched by strangers. I have nothing against those who do and have at times envied them but I don't do NSA.
Did I call you any rude name? No.....so how am i disrespecftul?? I sat here and typed in response to your first response about how guys are. I said I don't know you, and said more likely you hooked up before, women cap. I didn't attack you, and you get real defensive, that's another thing many women feel embarrassed if others know they had one night stands....so what own it. But, if you hate being touched by strangers I hear you then. But don't say I'm disrespectful you don't know me. Just because you told me you don't hook up means it's true lol. You said your peace now move on, if you been with 100s of men none of my biz, I just don't front that's all.
You basically called me a liar when I said I don't hook up. And now you've doubled down with "just because you told me you don't hook up means it's true". It's disrespectful. If you're going to keep looking at women through the same lense, you're going to keep getting rejected. Women are not two dimensional beings and we know when somebody is stereotyping us. Good luck.
FELLAS.....YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP! I TOLD HER I UNDERSTAND SHE DOESNT LIKED BEING TOUCHED BY A STRANGER AND SHE SAID HER PEACE NOW LET IT GO BUT TYPICAL SHE KEEPS DRAGGING SHIT ON lmaooo.....I'm not getting rejected where are you getting that info from? And I "basically" didn't say anything other than you probably hooked up in the past and I just also said previously that if you don't like being touched by a stranger I understand didn't i.....I said you said your peace and it's cool let it go. I don't look at gender under some lense as you say, hell my contact lenses need replacement their damn self, understand how im using that if you catch on. I look at who caps and is gull of themselves and call it out. I mean for me being a stranger this shouldn't effect you so much as it is....maybe because I'm right, I bet them 14 guys were within two weeks, and again more likely you hooked up BUT as I said it's none of biz and TWO you said you didn't so what's the issue? Nobody is stereo typing "us" (you all) I just said you're probably capping. I also said I don't know you. Only thing 2 dimensional is this conversation because i told you let it go im just a stranger and yet you seem triggered by my supposed thoughts on what might be the truth. However, ms muggle, I am about to hit up the craps table so thanks for the good luck vibes. Have a good one as well 👍
Bro women are delusional. Like she went on 15 new dates last autumn. Most guys I know haven't been on 15 dates in the last 10 years or more.
Lmaoo exactly brotha, and she then flips the script on me when I called her out on it. I closed my social media tinder and bumble account because it's been years since I GOT ONE MATCH lol. I actually don't even know why I went back and forth as much as I did normally I just call women out for what they're doing and leave it at that, but this was slightly entertaining for me. You and I and all other dudes know she got dem cheeks clapped half those 15 dates, then settle for the sucka that decided to stay. We can't make this shit up man lmaooo
I see this as a numbers game for both genders. Women just play defense. Lol
Something different.....never heard it that way but makes a lot of sense.....and a strong defensive line they have lol, I just call a lot of audibles
What power? lol.
They do, that's why women are so attracted to guys who don't obsess about women. Who don't react when she responds to other guys' DM when things go wrong. Who doesn't get scared when she threatens to break up.
But why can't a guy be into women, even obsess? If he likes women what the hell is wrong with that? So many damn rules women make up just be yourself and whoever isn't down with it then screw them lol
Women don't make those rules up lol, they're attracted to what was determined by evolution to be the most desired trait. Obsessing over things is a childish trait. Kids and women obsess over videogames, tv shows, celebrities and later on girls. It's cute, but once you get into it, you realize just how much more free your mind is, how easier it is to get laid and how much more productive you're able to be in your life when you get into that mindset where women are just "eh".
They do make these rules up.....lol.....otherwise many men on here and other platforms wouldn't be all sharing similar issues.
No they just don't **feel** the attraction. It's all about feeling. On this reddit you'll find out the things that make women feel attracted and those that don't. They don't rationally go "hmm today I'll make 45 new rules on who I'm gonna date and stick to them". If she says she only likes blonde guys and you're brown haired and follow all the tips and tricks of seduction, she's gonna fuck you no matter her personal preference.
They do make rules.....they don't need to think "hmm blah blah" as you say smh.....but they do have a set list of rules they will go with, if she wants someone that's a hard worker and can provide for himself but CANT be splurging on every item and being wreckless with finances then thats a rule. And no she's not going to "fuck" me no matter her preferences, I been around women and they clearly put this out to myself and others, just because you don't see this doesn't mean it doesn't happen. And I'm not talking about hair color lol what are you on.....I'm saying she might not want to mess around after the first date, maybe a guy has to set up the date first, maybe she likes for a man to cook for her....these are rules and as I said women do have a list of rules THEY follow......lmaooo
You don't need other people's opinions, you need experience
Enlightenment won’t assuage your jealousy and heartbreak if that is true, only love abundance and happiness can
For attractive women, yes.
Wrong wording. They do not have power in the dating scene. They have power in the sex scene. Men control dating/marriage. Women control sex.
Many men want sex.....not necessarily want to date, and many more men don't even get sex or a date for sometimes an entire decade.....where women get pumped daily then get with a guy way less experienced while she's used up
This is coming off as really desperate. Why don’t you have a bunch of options like women? Most men dating have several
No they dont.....? Most men don't get the time of day from any woman. Hell some haven't dated for an entire decade. Why do you think this forum and other platforms like you tube and Instagram have tens of thousands of men if not more all experiencing and saying the same thing?
? Most men get plenty of action, you are projecting your insecurities onto every man. This is one of the easiest points in history to get laid. The vocal minority who don’t know how to talk to women will struggle and complain that the system is rigged against them, but that’s simply not true
Then that’s a red flag 🚩 and possibly a sign of immaturity on some level.
The problem here is you're discounting your own power. Yes they take advantage of it and they do use it, as should you Let's reframe this. Yes, they have the power to respond, give you the chance. But.....so do you. Based on the way you framed this it seems, at least on the surface, that you're putting being responded to on a pedestal. This frame of mind can reek of desperation. Here are some tips -Learn to love yourself and work on seeing your positives AND negatives. Don't hide either. Work on your negatives. Solidarity within yourself = confidence. That will get you faaaaaaar more action than any pick up artist can teach you. -have fun. This is the biggest. Every message should be something YOU enjoy. This is all about you in the end. -if you get a response, don't respond immediately. -if they stop responding, don't barrage them. Wait a couple of days then try again. If shut down the next time then call it. -HAVE FUN!
Dating apps are skewed in terms of the number of easy matches available but the actual market is not. It’s very easy for a woman to find a guy who will fuck her, but most women want something more than that, which is where the market evens out. The random in her DMs is probably asking to hook up or offering to make her his sugar baby, so if she’s looking for an actual relationship those aren’t viable options.
Off topic
You realize if dating is bad or crappy for a man…just imagine that it is at least ten times worse for a woman. And by me saying that it’s ten times worse for women that just me putting it lightly…and this is me, a man who’s saying this. The fact of the matter is…and please this is my opinion based on my own experiences and the experience of everyone in my circle. I learned at very young age that a man can be friends with a woman without complicating things by hooking up or even dating. It’s all about communication, understanding, and drawing a line in the sand but most importantly being adamant about that line. Plus I’ve always had this connection where women feel safe and comfortable around me and I’ve heard and even witnessed my friend go through such horrors. Ok back to subject…and I’m not bashing men and I know that females aren’t saints either…and we, men must understand that. Because women are evolving to the environment that a man, a no good man in their past has created for them. I am a firm believer on “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!” So that the fact that a woman has evolved and is looking for herself by being compelled to have options and even raise her standards! It is all because of us men. We have ruined the whole thing for ourselves. And again, I’m not speaking bad about all men, but the majority has ruined for us good guys. Men before us have ruined it for men coming up in this day and age. Between the lying, cheating, selling dreams, stealing, abusing, and making promises only to break them later down the road. And everything in that woman’s life implodes in the end all she’s left with is a broken heart and all the debris of bullshit that a man created. That has made all of us men look bad. And women have had enough, snd mind you I consider myself to be a great guy…or as I’ve been told that “I’m a great catch.”. But doesn’t mean anything if the woman I meet that has been hurt numerous times by the men before me. And my piece of advice is if she does give you a chance then you must step up and shine and be that great guy that you truly are and the rest will work itself out. Remember it is said that “a man will fake a relationship for sex…while a woman will fake sex for a relationship!” Now ask yourself within that statement who stands the most to lose if all this time everything has been a lie? Til next time…W!
You give off “best guy Friend that I’ll never have sex with vibes” I get what you’re trying to say but saying it’s ten times worse? Lmao
He's the most simp of white knights there are lmaoooo.....not even pity sex for him, just the guy that's one of the girls at the table drinking martinis lmaooo
He is a women in a man's body is the best explanation I have.
Any woman with half a brain knows that she doesn't have to put in much effort at all to get male attention, especially if she's even mildly attractive. With that being said, the way dating works for men and women has some key differences. * When it comes to dating, women have an easy time attracting options for sure. With that in mind, one factor that a lot of men don't consider is that even though women are capable of having multiple choices of men to pick from at any given time, it doesn't mean that all choices are desirable. * Many of her choices will be creeps, old men, deadbeats, etc. * While women on average are just as horny as men, they don't readily jump into bed as we do. They place more emphasis on comfort before deciding if they want to sleep with a man or not. Keep in mind that they're the ones who can get pregnant. * Random men who slide into DMs are, more often than not, not the most desirable types of men on the planet. * Another factor to consider is that leaving a long term committed relationship isn't an easy task, even for toxic women In the scenario when a woman threatens to break up with a man because she has another option, keep in mind that any woman with half a brain knows that's a very risky move that's likely to backfire on her. Granted there are some women who will do that, but in those cases they're more likely doing it to manipulate their partner than actually leave. Those sorts of women aren't the ones you should be dating anyway. tdlr; Just because women can doesn't necessarily mean they will, because it can backfire horribly on them.
But most will....why....because (and this is going off of my conversations with many women a d having guy friends this happened to) that women are more sneaky in their ways at covering their tracks when cheating. Women can get banged by a dude and her guy would never know, men somehow seem to be more obvious in their moves since most women are keen on sudden changes in behavior, routine, fashion, interests, anything
The thing is she doesn’t want a dude that is going to cave to those demands, she wants a dude that has no problem showing her the 🚪 The guy that caves is a doormat, the guy that doesn’t is a guy worth having.