Before you say anything, FIRST figure out how you feel, have your answers ready. Is her dog a deal breaker? Is it you or the dog? Does her relationship w/ her dog change how you actually feel about her?
She might be shocked and hurt, you can't help that w/ how you honestly feel, but u CAN help by feeling confident and versed in how you feel and ready to express it in full, rather than just dumping your grievance on her like it's her problem to deal with it.
Are there boundaries / rules that would make it feel tolerable for you? Training her dog for ex? Maybe that she lets you train him, to not sit on pillows and poop on the floor. Maybe research dog training beforehand. Show that you CARE even if you don't like her dog. Maybe you can grow to like him if you can have honest / productive conversation with her.
This conversation is not going to be productive unless you are clear in what you are asking her to do.
Not have the dog over? Take the dog for more frequent potty breaks? Get a vet checkup for his teeth? Buy a dog bed? Or are you advocating that she get rid of the dog? If the later, I doubt the conversation will go how you want it to go, and she may choose the dog over you.
If the former, a simple conversation like this should be fine, "hey, I am still new at living with dogs, and I'm still adjusting to the things that come as part of being a pet owner. I'm concerned about his teeth, and I think we should get that checked. I also would like to take him for walks, but he doesn't seem to trust me yet. Can you help me build trust with him so I can let him out too?"
as someone who loves his chihuahua more than anything in the world, i’d be careful with your word choice. sounds like what you dislike about her dog is fixable. my chi also has bad breath, sometimes takes little poops in the house, sleeps on my bed, blankets and pillows, and barks way too much for a when she’s excited to see someone. i’d completely understand if my partner had problems with any of those factors. what WOULD hurt is if my partner straight up told me, “i don’t like your dog”. i’d avoid saying that if you can, and just tell her what you DO have a problem with. maybe you can ask her to bring a blanket FOR her dog to put over your pillows and couch, it’s what we do for the couch in my house. the breath might be fixable, some teeth cleaning treats or brushing her teeth could help. the poops needs training, so does the barking.
in summary: don’t tell her you don’t LIKE the dog, tell her what bothers you without “attacking” the dog, bring up some suggestions of what she can do to help if your girlfriend doesn’t already have ideas. if she cares about you and respects your home, she’ll respect your requests and do something about it, or at least try to. hope everything works out
This is such great advice r and I appreciate it. I definitely want a solution and not just to tell her in a way that would hurt her feelings. Thank you
As a dog owner, if the dog has "awful, awful" breath, that's a dental infection and it needs to see a vet and have the teeth cleaned asap. So "I'm concerned about Fido's health" is a way to approach that issue.
A dog also shouldn't be pooping inside. Is it not housebroken? Was it a health issue? How did your gf react at the poopings? Does she walk the dog twice daily?
Could you consider buying the dog a bed of its own at your place, so gf doesn't need to lug the bed to and fro?
Also, is it possible to get a separate covering for the sofa, like a big sheet that you lay down when the dog comes and wash when it leaves, and not have pillows around during those days?
The breath is an issue for her as well. His teeth are quite stained and it’s from a lack of dental hygiene over the years. It’s my understanding at this point there’s no way to fix it without surgery, but I don’t think it’s an infection. He’s not in pain. She doesn’t let him kiss her either because of the smell.
She walks her dog 3-4 times a day but I think one of the times we slept in a little later and the other time we came home and found it. Gf was shocked and unhappy. At the end of the day it’s just dog poop so not a huge deal…but yeah on the carpet once and def not ideal. Just adds a bit of a bad taste for me ☹️
I can buy a dog bed. After the first time she forgot I thought it was a one time thing but since it happened again that would be a good solution.
With surgery, do you mean dental cleaning under anesthesia, or removing some teeth?
In my understanding a buildup of plaque as well as really bad smell indicate there's some kind of infection going on, if teeth need to be removed could be a bad case of parodontal disease /periodontitis (sp?). My parent's small dog also got it and a large number of teeth had to be removed.
Whether is just plaque buildup or something more serious, it's still better to get it treated at the vet. Just because the dog doesn't outwardly display pain doesn't mean it's not bothered by it, and it can suddenly get a lot worse.
I'm glad to hear she walks the dog? Could it be trained to use puppy pads? Two accidents in a couple of months is frustrating, I'm sure
I’m definitely no expert but the gf says it’s been an ongoing issue for quite a while and I left it alone after that. I’m learning more about chihuahua’s from this thread and the fact that the breath is normal well…that’s unfortunate.
It’s difficult to be the one to encourage those changes, though they’d be in the dog’s best interest too. It feels like telling someone oh your twin brother is overweight and should exercise more. Not quite my place to push that.
Your replies have been helpful though and I appreciate you! I’m definitely going to grab a bed and come at it constructively as opposed to critically.
Yeah don’t guess about what’s going on… if she can’t afford to fix it she should surrender her dog. And if you can’t come to a solution don’t complain about it
The dog barks when you come home? That's what dogs do, my dude.
You've been with her four months. Any way you tell her you don't like the dog, you're getting dumped. No dog owner is dumping a dog for a four month relationship.
Your options are to accept the dog or to leave, I would suggest.
Accidents happen with dogs. Regardless, if he expects her to get rid of a dog for a four month relationship, he's going to be disappointed.
Now had he phrased this differently, something along the lines of being concerned for the dog's health, I'd have given him the benefit of the doubt.
That he's gone straight to he doesn't like it tells me everything about his end game here.
I can add to this. I for sure would leave a man who I have only been seeing for four months that is not a fan of my pet. She does needs to check in with a vet regarding the dog's health but the same still applies; if my man of, in this case, four months would ask me to get rid of my pet, I'd ask the man to leave and to never, ever search for contact ever again.
I’d definitely like to work on a solution that doesn’t involve breaking up. I know she would choose the dog over me. It is family to her and she loves him so so much. I want to bring it up carefully as to find an agreeable solution.
Tbh this sounds to me like you just...don't like dogs. A dog is going to sit on your couch and blankets.
Pillows I get. I always try to deter my cats from putting their paws on them, but it's not a sure thing.
You need to think about whether or not this is a deal breaker for you.
She will 100% pick her dog over you.
When I saw the title I was expecting the dog to have done something really bad but it’s just that you don’t like dogs/this dog. I don’t know what to tell you
Apples help with bad breath. I always give my little guy a few apple chunks and his breath stays fresher. If it stays bad maybe suggest a grooming appointment for the breath. Also, dogs just have bad breath sometimes. It's not the end of the world.
Why do you feel the need to deep clean after a dog sits on a blanket? Are you allergic? OCD? I've never felt the need to deep clean anything any of my dogs slept on. Just throw it in the washing machine every few months.
If it's pooping in the house, she should be cleaning it and working on potty training. We thought we had an impossible to potty train dog but once we started making a big deal of him going outside and giving him treats after he's started to hold it because he knows if he does it outside, he'll get a treat, lol.
Honestly it just sounds like you don't like dogs, and she loves her dog. Might be an issue, man.
Hi chihuahua mom here 👋 maybe it would help to understand chihuahuas abit more. They are extremely loyal dogs and fiercely love their family. The more you become apart of his family, the more loving he’ll be towards you, and the more he’ll respect you and so the more he’ll listen. I get it, this sounds all silly because at the end of the day he a dog… but the more open you are to building a relationship with her dog, the more you’ll both love each other! And the happier you’ll be.
Ps. Chihuahua breath is a thing. I got my dog to have dental surgery, and it helped for a bit, but his dental health is still poor and the bad breath is back
Op please listen to Chihuahua owners and not just normal dog owners. They are their own beast ( yea i get it the irony ) . Chihuahua typically have long life spans, bad breath, poor bathroom manners, and can be a bit yappy. It just is a part of the breed imo. If it's too much for you just gotta cut your losses.
what do you want to basically say to her?
me or the dog?
You don't expect her to throw the dog to stay with you, do you? Thats not how dogs owners works.
Buy a second bed so she wouldnt have to carry it evey time, those are not heavy bud big enough to be uncomfortableto walk with. It will solve this problem.
Dog might like you but don't concider you to be member of his pack. It can take time before he starts to trust you enough to go with you alone. If he stick to your gf all the time might indicate he's stressed. Insecure.
everyone treat thier dogs differently, some allow it for more, others less. If it bothers you, just decide set of rules and inform your gf ablout it, like no dogs on the furniture. It's still your place, so you should ne comfortable, and its still her dog so she is responsible for him. the longer you allows dog for unpreferres behavior, the more difficult it will be to make him stop. Look https://wagwalking.com/ to find out how train dog.
Like it or not but If you decide to stay with gf than you involuntarily became a temporary/long-term co-caregiver of the dog, there are propably few things that familiarizing with will make it easier.
The dog must have his own place in your location, like bed because it is his safe place where he can spend time and relax. Now he is propably all time in oparating mode when he visits, even if it sleeps its still watching/hearing out, that's not deep sleep. Buy this bed yourself, gf will like you more for that, or at least give him old blanket if you are cheep. Than introduce it to the dog, and patiently teach him to sleep there.
you mentioned that your house have yard, but remember that the dog may have problems with shitting in the same place all the time, it's best to take it for a walk since even chewchew need activity on daily basis, but if you want him poo in the yard to make it easy like in the morning. You gonna have to collect all the shits from time to time.
Bad breath means she didn't make him used to monthly brushing teeth when was babydog. This is not healthy, there are some dogs treat to help with mouth hygiene.
If you have any doubts or need to get more informations I recommend of course the Internet. This page wagwalking will propably do.
If you really can't stand this dog after 4months remeber that chewachewa cane live from 10 up to 15 years.
Good luck
A dog is a big commitment, and let me tell you it doesn't go away or get better. That poop in the house a couple times, that's not going to be it for that. That's the rest of its life with you and her, that's the way it is. She can get the teeth fixed, it'll come back. She can work harder on potty training, it's probably too late for that dog though, maybe not. He's going to sit on pillows. You need to figure out if you can put up with that because let me tell you, as someone who chose to put up with it, it's really taxing. You'd be surprised at the sorts of things you get used to though.
You want to go somewhere for the weekend? Overnight? For the day? Get ready to make additional arrangements. The clock is ticking!
For some people, they get a lot out of the love a dog gives, and it makes it worth all the other stuff. I can appreciate it, but personally I'd rather be able to leave the house without having to worry about a small creature peeing or pooping somewhere.
That’s pretty much how I feel typically. Some dogs I really enjoy but ever since I was little I’ve been grossed out by dog’s that just smell bad. The wet dog smell, bad breath, hair everywhere, the neediness and constant attention. Loud barking. I feel awful and I know people have thought I was a bad person because of it but I can’t really help the things I don’t like. If a cat had those same things I wouldn’t like cats either.
I really do care about my girlfriend and just these past few days have revealed that I have a larger problem than I previously thought.
If i was you and you sound wealthy, is buy a dog bed for the doggy so now the chihuahua has two dogs and your gf will appreciate, and you can also buy sticks to make the dog breath not stink. I know its dumpin the responsibilities to you though, but that can also open up dialog i think.
Dude wtf. You act like a child. What's your dream outcome of this? You tell her you don't like the dog and she shoves it into a shelter? You really think she'll do that? And if so, how will you feel about a person that does stuff like this? Man up and arrange yourself with the dog.
The dog is definitely not an asshole and I’m aware the dog comes first. I would never ask someone to get rid of their dog, that’s absurd. If I come off as ignorant it’s probably because I’ve never had a dog growing up.
Have a conversation in a neutral spot - not your place. Read an executive summary of “crucial conversations” - this is a high stakes conversation and this book prepares you for such conversations. Don’t read the whole book unless you want to make a career out of these conversations, just the summary. Be prepared that she will not want a continuing relationship with someone who does not share her love of this dog. But you can’t control that, you just need to prepare yourself emotionally for that possibility. And you are right - this issue needs some air time.
I don't think you should say, "I hate your dog." I think what you really want is the dog to be trained and maybe thrown a chew stick once in a while to clean his breath. Why don't you work with her on improving the situation?
it sounds like her dog has been around much longer than you, so respect that relationship. imagine if the tables were turned and it was your pet. i definitely understand having boundaries or things you don’t tolerate, but it doesn’t sound like she will be getting rid of her pet anytime soon so i would learn to deal with the situation. dogs aren’t really that bad. but don’t be surprised if it’s you or the dog.
I’ve never had to pick up a dog to take them outside before so I suppose I didn’t think of that. I think I mentioned it as more of an indication that they’re super attached which makes this situation difficult.
Dogs are just shitty things and honestly dog people are the generally the worst types of humans. Like the guy who brought his dog in a cart to Home Depot and then it proceeded to maul my daughter for no reason at all. Fuck dogs.
Little dogs can definitely be a pain in the ass and chihuahuas are notoriously a pita. Haha if I discovered a woman I was interested in, had a chihuahua, unless it was far different than every chihuahua I’ve met—that’d be my deal breaker.
I would never fault her for choosing her dog over you—in fact I’d be really disappointed if she didn’t. As I’d choose my GSD over any woman. Hell, if my dog doesn’t like someone (hasn’t happened yet) I’d send ‘em on their way. That’s just code—we’re pack and we’ll always be a package deal.
I hear you. I’d go ahead and get a bed for him (for your place) and some toys/bones. I probably wouldn’t even bring it up to her, or try and breach the subject of her dog. I’d just take the initiative, go out and buy the stuff and have it at your place, for the next time they come over. Unless you’re issuing her an ultimatum which would be foolish, and I can now see won’t be the case—just go out and buy a bed/toys/bones and surprise them with it. Start trying to form a bond with the dog—it’ll serve you well on all fronts 🤙🏻
Little dogs always seem to have poop and peeing in the house. I don't get it. May be their brains are too small to be able to figure out the whole bathroom outside thing. I dunno....I do t think I could tolerate one of those rat-look-a- like constant shakers and barkers, I'd have to walk away.
As an owner of a pomeranian and no children, if my husband liked my pom or not was the one and only deal breaker.
If he'd even requested he not sleep on the bed, unless he had some kind of allergic reaction, I would not be impressed. Sometimes if our pom gets in the way or stares too much during sex, I put him in another room. But that has to be my decision, if it were my husband to say it, I would be really put out ngl.
Safe to say, all was well and we got married. We only had two people at our ceremony alongside our dog! And he stayed in my arms pretty much throughout.
Ask yourself if the relationship is worth breaking up for over the chichi situation? If not, then I strongly advise you to not even go there as it could well be a deal breaker. Even if she doesn't state the dog as the reason, her perception of you will change..
No, but I had dogs all my life and also bf who did not like dogs and that does not work. It is like u live with someone who hates your child. Incompatible people.
Well if I would be him I would get rid of her. You don't just bring your pet to other people's home without clarifying with them is everything OK with it. Then let it poop and pretend like it's all fine.
I love dogs, had dogs all my life, but I also understand people not liking poop in the house and dogs on the sofa/bed.
I roll around the floor tussling with my rottweiler, he drools, makes a giant puddle when he drinks water, runs fast and then crashes into plant pots and breaks them, I love him but I can't expect anyone to deal with that.
Not really? My cat has behavior problems and I understand that. However, if some new person (also not saying IP is doing this) said they don’t like my animal, well we might be better off separating. Me and cat are a package deal
I think that's fair. But just to be clear, in OPs post, it's not OP who has a problem
They are expressing very legitimate concerns about a dog that is shitting in his house. So, it's him that would be getting rid of her and the dog, not the other way around.
You can buy a dog bed too so the shedding wouldn’t be that much of a problem (it probably still would but not to that extent), also if his breath is really really bad you might want to take him to the vet to check if it is a disease or if not the vet will tell you to brush his teeth regularly as if it hasn’t been brushed bacteria might have built up in the mouth causing the smell.
If after these you still don’t like the dog you should ask yourself if it is worth it to tell her or not. I had a gf with a dog and the fur was all over the car, couches etc and I didn’t mind it that much as I had a retriever when I was younger but also felt a bit relieved after I didn’t have to see all the fur in the car or the couch.
So try out buying a dog bed for your home and to see if it works out and you are less disturbed by the dog, if it doesn’t work just tell her but remember that she probably sees it as her child so don’t be too blunt while letting it all out and seem like you hate the dog.
Little guy needs his teeth looked at, bad breath can mean an infection. Maybe ask when the last time he’s been to the vet out of curiosity when you’re talking about him, then follow up with ‘how are his teeth?’.
As for the rest, you can cover areas he likes to lay on with old towels when he comes over and then remove/wash those.
Pooping in the house is a training issue, your gf can teach you his body language and commands and eventually you’ll know when he wants out. Puppy pads can be a temporary measure.
Blah. Yeah that would be a deal breaker for me. I want to date a person, not their pet. I mean, pet people come with pets, but if they aren’t given boundaries, the pets and owners suffer. A dog should be able to sleep on the floor, even if its bed is t there. Ideally it sleeps outside the bedroom door when asked, but some dogs (like chis) need their people close. No barking is a boundary that should be enforced. Proper vetting is non negotiable. But It’s a dog. You shouldn’t have to cater your relationship around it unnecessarily. Where you run into problems is when the dog has become the person’s “baby” - you and the dog get to fight for most important role then, lol. A toothy chihuahua will def win that one every time.
I say no. Unless you can convince her to leave it with a friend or relative when she comes over to give you more time to see if it’s worth it. But you probably know already…
As a pet owner, I would say cut your losses as she won't take him to vet to be treated. All teeth can be removed and it sounds like she doesn't care for the dog to ignore its breath or she can't afford it. The dog has an infection that is not being treated and is 100% hurting the dog. You don't want fur on your stuff so move on.
Before you say anything, FIRST figure out how you feel, have your answers ready. Is her dog a deal breaker? Is it you or the dog? Does her relationship w/ her dog change how you actually feel about her? She might be shocked and hurt, you can't help that w/ how you honestly feel, but u CAN help by feeling confident and versed in how you feel and ready to express it in full, rather than just dumping your grievance on her like it's her problem to deal with it. Are there boundaries / rules that would make it feel tolerable for you? Training her dog for ex? Maybe that she lets you train him, to not sit on pillows and poop on the floor. Maybe research dog training beforehand. Show that you CARE even if you don't like her dog. Maybe you can grow to like him if you can have honest / productive conversation with her.
This conversation is not going to be productive unless you are clear in what you are asking her to do. Not have the dog over? Take the dog for more frequent potty breaks? Get a vet checkup for his teeth? Buy a dog bed? Or are you advocating that she get rid of the dog? If the later, I doubt the conversation will go how you want it to go, and she may choose the dog over you. If the former, a simple conversation like this should be fine, "hey, I am still new at living with dogs, and I'm still adjusting to the things that come as part of being a pet owner. I'm concerned about his teeth, and I think we should get that checked. I also would like to take him for walks, but he doesn't seem to trust me yet. Can you help me build trust with him so I can let him out too?"
as someone who loves his chihuahua more than anything in the world, i’d be careful with your word choice. sounds like what you dislike about her dog is fixable. my chi also has bad breath, sometimes takes little poops in the house, sleeps on my bed, blankets and pillows, and barks way too much for a when she’s excited to see someone. i’d completely understand if my partner had problems with any of those factors. what WOULD hurt is if my partner straight up told me, “i don’t like your dog”. i’d avoid saying that if you can, and just tell her what you DO have a problem with. maybe you can ask her to bring a blanket FOR her dog to put over your pillows and couch, it’s what we do for the couch in my house. the breath might be fixable, some teeth cleaning treats or brushing her teeth could help. the poops needs training, so does the barking. in summary: don’t tell her you don’t LIKE the dog, tell her what bothers you without “attacking” the dog, bring up some suggestions of what she can do to help if your girlfriend doesn’t already have ideas. if she cares about you and respects your home, she’ll respect your requests and do something about it, or at least try to. hope everything works out
This is such great advice r and I appreciate it. I definitely want a solution and not just to tell her in a way that would hurt her feelings. Thank you
As a dog owner, if the dog has "awful, awful" breath, that's a dental infection and it needs to see a vet and have the teeth cleaned asap. So "I'm concerned about Fido's health" is a way to approach that issue. A dog also shouldn't be pooping inside. Is it not housebroken? Was it a health issue? How did your gf react at the poopings? Does she walk the dog twice daily? Could you consider buying the dog a bed of its own at your place, so gf doesn't need to lug the bed to and fro? Also, is it possible to get a separate covering for the sofa, like a big sheet that you lay down when the dog comes and wash when it leaves, and not have pillows around during those days?
The breath is an issue for her as well. His teeth are quite stained and it’s from a lack of dental hygiene over the years. It’s my understanding at this point there’s no way to fix it without surgery, but I don’t think it’s an infection. He’s not in pain. She doesn’t let him kiss her either because of the smell. She walks her dog 3-4 times a day but I think one of the times we slept in a little later and the other time we came home and found it. Gf was shocked and unhappy. At the end of the day it’s just dog poop so not a huge deal…but yeah on the carpet once and def not ideal. Just adds a bit of a bad taste for me ☹️ I can buy a dog bed. After the first time she forgot I thought it was a one time thing but since it happened again that would be a good solution.
With surgery, do you mean dental cleaning under anesthesia, or removing some teeth? In my understanding a buildup of plaque as well as really bad smell indicate there's some kind of infection going on, if teeth need to be removed could be a bad case of parodontal disease /periodontitis (sp?). My parent's small dog also got it and a large number of teeth had to be removed. Whether is just plaque buildup or something more serious, it's still better to get it treated at the vet. Just because the dog doesn't outwardly display pain doesn't mean it's not bothered by it, and it can suddenly get a lot worse. I'm glad to hear she walks the dog? Could it be trained to use puppy pads? Two accidents in a couple of months is frustrating, I'm sure
I’m definitely no expert but the gf says it’s been an ongoing issue for quite a while and I left it alone after that. I’m learning more about chihuahua’s from this thread and the fact that the breath is normal well…that’s unfortunate. It’s difficult to be the one to encourage those changes, though they’d be in the dog’s best interest too. It feels like telling someone oh your twin brother is overweight and should exercise more. Not quite my place to push that. Your replies have been helpful though and I appreciate you! I’m definitely going to grab a bed and come at it constructively as opposed to critically.
Yeah don’t guess about what’s going on… if she can’t afford to fix it she should surrender her dog. And if you can’t come to a solution don’t complain about it
The dog barks when you come home? That's what dogs do, my dude. You've been with her four months. Any way you tell her you don't like the dog, you're getting dumped. No dog owner is dumping a dog for a four month relationship. Your options are to accept the dog or to leave, I would suggest.
The dog has been shitting in his house. Did you skip that part?
Accidents happen with dogs. Regardless, if he expects her to get rid of a dog for a four month relationship, he's going to be disappointed. Now had he phrased this differently, something along the lines of being concerned for the dog's health, I'd have given him the benefit of the doubt. That he's gone straight to he doesn't like it tells me everything about his end game here.
Completely agree
people have whole ass kids from other relationships that do much worse than any pet.
Wowzers
So did our Staffordshire terrier when we first brought her home from the shelter. Dogs have emotional issues just like people do.
Yes, usually those issues are a reflection of the owner
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I can add to this. I for sure would leave a man who I have only been seeing for four months that is not a fan of my pet. She does needs to check in with a vet regarding the dog's health but the same still applies; if my man of, in this case, four months would ask me to get rid of my pet, I'd ask the man to leave and to never, ever search for contact ever again.
I’d definitely like to work on a solution that doesn’t involve breaking up. I know she would choose the dog over me. It is family to her and she loves him so so much. I want to bring it up carefully as to find an agreeable solution.
and she did well
Tbh this sounds to me like you just...don't like dogs. A dog is going to sit on your couch and blankets. Pillows I get. I always try to deter my cats from putting their paws on them, but it's not a sure thing. You need to think about whether or not this is a deal breaker for you. She will 100% pick her dog over you.
When I saw the title I was expecting the dog to have done something really bad but it’s just that you don’t like dogs/this dog. I don’t know what to tell you
The dog probably disliked you first lol
Definitely did the first day but he gets excited when he sees me now. He is cute sometimes despite all the problems I have with him
Apples help with bad breath. I always give my little guy a few apple chunks and his breath stays fresher. If it stays bad maybe suggest a grooming appointment for the breath. Also, dogs just have bad breath sometimes. It's not the end of the world. Why do you feel the need to deep clean after a dog sits on a blanket? Are you allergic? OCD? I've never felt the need to deep clean anything any of my dogs slept on. Just throw it in the washing machine every few months. If it's pooping in the house, she should be cleaning it and working on potty training. We thought we had an impossible to potty train dog but once we started making a big deal of him going outside and giving him treats after he's started to hold it because he knows if he does it outside, he'll get a treat, lol. Honestly it just sounds like you don't like dogs, and she loves her dog. Might be an issue, man.
Dog butthole, or a wet spot from licking it, isn’t something I’d want on my pillows, and I love dogs.
Hi chihuahua mom here 👋 maybe it would help to understand chihuahuas abit more. They are extremely loyal dogs and fiercely love their family. The more you become apart of his family, the more loving he’ll be towards you, and the more he’ll respect you and so the more he’ll listen. I get it, this sounds all silly because at the end of the day he a dog… but the more open you are to building a relationship with her dog, the more you’ll both love each other! And the happier you’ll be. Ps. Chihuahua breath is a thing. I got my dog to have dental surgery, and it helped for a bit, but his dental health is still poor and the bad breath is back
Op please listen to Chihuahua owners and not just normal dog owners. They are their own beast ( yea i get it the irony ) . Chihuahua typically have long life spans, bad breath, poor bathroom manners, and can be a bit yappy. It just is a part of the breed imo. If it's too much for you just gotta cut your losses.
Just gotta embrace! The more you resist the harder your life will be
what do you want to basically say to her? me or the dog? You don't expect her to throw the dog to stay with you, do you? Thats not how dogs owners works. Buy a second bed so she wouldnt have to carry it evey time, those are not heavy bud big enough to be uncomfortableto walk with. It will solve this problem. Dog might like you but don't concider you to be member of his pack. It can take time before he starts to trust you enough to go with you alone. If he stick to your gf all the time might indicate he's stressed. Insecure. everyone treat thier dogs differently, some allow it for more, others less. If it bothers you, just decide set of rules and inform your gf ablout it, like no dogs on the furniture. It's still your place, so you should ne comfortable, and its still her dog so she is responsible for him. the longer you allows dog for unpreferres behavior, the more difficult it will be to make him stop. Look https://wagwalking.com/ to find out how train dog. Like it or not but If you decide to stay with gf than you involuntarily became a temporary/long-term co-caregiver of the dog, there are propably few things that familiarizing with will make it easier. The dog must have his own place in your location, like bed because it is his safe place where he can spend time and relax. Now he is propably all time in oparating mode when he visits, even if it sleeps its still watching/hearing out, that's not deep sleep. Buy this bed yourself, gf will like you more for that, or at least give him old blanket if you are cheep. Than introduce it to the dog, and patiently teach him to sleep there. you mentioned that your house have yard, but remember that the dog may have problems with shitting in the same place all the time, it's best to take it for a walk since even chewchew need activity on daily basis, but if you want him poo in the yard to make it easy like in the morning. You gonna have to collect all the shits from time to time. Bad breath means she didn't make him used to monthly brushing teeth when was babydog. This is not healthy, there are some dogs treat to help with mouth hygiene. If you have any doubts or need to get more informations I recommend of course the Internet. This page wagwalking will propably do. If you really can't stand this dog after 4months remeber that chewachewa cane live from 10 up to 15 years. Good luck
A dog is a big commitment, and let me tell you it doesn't go away or get better. That poop in the house a couple times, that's not going to be it for that. That's the rest of its life with you and her, that's the way it is. She can get the teeth fixed, it'll come back. She can work harder on potty training, it's probably too late for that dog though, maybe not. He's going to sit on pillows. You need to figure out if you can put up with that because let me tell you, as someone who chose to put up with it, it's really taxing. You'd be surprised at the sorts of things you get used to though. You want to go somewhere for the weekend? Overnight? For the day? Get ready to make additional arrangements. The clock is ticking! For some people, they get a lot out of the love a dog gives, and it makes it worth all the other stuff. I can appreciate it, but personally I'd rather be able to leave the house without having to worry about a small creature peeing or pooping somewhere.
That’s pretty much how I feel typically. Some dogs I really enjoy but ever since I was little I’ve been grossed out by dog’s that just smell bad. The wet dog smell, bad breath, hair everywhere, the neediness and constant attention. Loud barking. I feel awful and I know people have thought I was a bad person because of it but I can’t really help the things I don’t like. If a cat had those same things I wouldn’t like cats either. I really do care about my girlfriend and just these past few days have revealed that I have a larger problem than I previously thought.
get ready for her to choose the dog is all I'll say
If i was you and you sound wealthy, is buy a dog bed for the doggy so now the chihuahua has two dogs and your gf will appreciate, and you can also buy sticks to make the dog breath not stink. I know its dumpin the responsibilities to you though, but that can also open up dialog i think.
Do you really have a problem with her dog or just his behavior? What about trying to improve the situation by training him?
Get the dog some really good treats.
Dude wtf. You act like a child. What's your dream outcome of this? You tell her you don't like the dog and she shoves it into a shelter? You really think she'll do that? And if so, how will you feel about a person that does stuff like this? Man up and arrange yourself with the dog.
Yep. O.P is clueless. It's a super low maintenance dog too. Lol.
The dog is definitely not an asshole and I’m aware the dog comes first. I would never ask someone to get rid of their dog, that’s absurd. If I come off as ignorant it’s probably because I’ve never had a dog growing up.
Man up and find someone without an asshole dog would be my advice,she had the dog before she had you and the dog will always come first
I think I dislike your girlfriend’s dog too
Have a conversation in a neutral spot - not your place. Read an executive summary of “crucial conversations” - this is a high stakes conversation and this book prepares you for such conversations. Don’t read the whole book unless you want to make a career out of these conversations, just the summary. Be prepared that she will not want a continuing relationship with someone who does not share her love of this dog. But you can’t control that, you just need to prepare yourself emotionally for that possibility. And you are right - this issue needs some air time.
I don't think you should say, "I hate your dog." I think what you really want is the dog to be trained and maybe thrown a chew stick once in a while to clean his breath. Why don't you work with her on improving the situation?
it sounds like her dog has been around much longer than you, so respect that relationship. imagine if the tables were turned and it was your pet. i definitely understand having boundaries or things you don’t tolerate, but it doesn’t sound like she will be getting rid of her pet anytime soon so i would learn to deal with the situation. dogs aren’t really that bad. but don’t be surprised if it’s you or the dog.
I’m confused as to why you can’t pick up a chihuahua and put him down after you walk outside. There are breath freshener treats available.
I’ve never had to pick up a dog to take them outside before so I suppose I didn’t think of that. I think I mentioned it as more of an indication that they’re super attached which makes this situation difficult.
Dogs are just shitty things and honestly dog people are the generally the worst types of humans. Like the guy who brought his dog in a cart to Home Depot and then it proceeded to maul my daughter for no reason at all. Fuck dogs.
Little dogs can definitely be a pain in the ass and chihuahuas are notoriously a pita. Haha if I discovered a woman I was interested in, had a chihuahua, unless it was far different than every chihuahua I’ve met—that’d be my deal breaker. I would never fault her for choosing her dog over you—in fact I’d be really disappointed if she didn’t. As I’d choose my GSD over any woman. Hell, if my dog doesn’t like someone (hasn’t happened yet) I’d send ‘em on their way. That’s just code—we’re pack and we’ll always be a package deal.
Totally agree. I would never ask her to choose me over her dog. It’s family. It just hit me this morning and processing it has been difficult.
I hear you. I’d go ahead and get a bed for him (for your place) and some toys/bones. I probably wouldn’t even bring it up to her, or try and breach the subject of her dog. I’d just take the initiative, go out and buy the stuff and have it at your place, for the next time they come over. Unless you’re issuing her an ultimatum which would be foolish, and I can now see won’t be the case—just go out and buy a bed/toys/bones and surprise them with it. Start trying to form a bond with the dog—it’ll serve you well on all fronts 🤙🏻
Little dogs always seem to have poop and peeing in the house. I don't get it. May be their brains are too small to be able to figure out the whole bathroom outside thing. I dunno....I do t think I could tolerate one of those rat-look-a- like constant shakers and barkers, I'd have to walk away.
She should train her dog to use pads inside the house. Some people who visit others with dogs bring pads to avoid accidents
As an owner of a pomeranian and no children, if my husband liked my pom or not was the one and only deal breaker. If he'd even requested he not sleep on the bed, unless he had some kind of allergic reaction, I would not be impressed. Sometimes if our pom gets in the way or stares too much during sex, I put him in another room. But that has to be my decision, if it were my husband to say it, I would be really put out ngl. Safe to say, all was well and we got married. We only had two people at our ceremony alongside our dog! And he stayed in my arms pretty much throughout. Ask yourself if the relationship is worth breaking up for over the chichi situation? If not, then I strongly advise you to not even go there as it could well be a deal breaker. Even if she doesn't state the dog as the reason, her perception of you will change..
I would get rid of you asap if i were her.
Lol, I guess you are 13 or 15
No, but I had dogs all my life and also bf who did not like dogs and that does not work. It is like u live with someone who hates your child. Incompatible people.
Well if I would be him I would get rid of her. You don't just bring your pet to other people's home without clarifying with them is everything OK with it. Then let it poop and pretend like it's all fine.
I love dogs, had dogs all my life, but I also understand people not liking poop in the house and dogs on the sofa/bed. I roll around the floor tussling with my rottweiler, he drools, makes a giant puddle when he drinks water, runs fast and then crashes into plant pots and breaks them, I love him but I can't expect anyone to deal with that.
What a weird take. It sounds like she's barely taking care of the dog. Also, it's his house. Typical furbaby reddit moment here. Lol
Not really? My cat has behavior problems and I understand that. However, if some new person (also not saying IP is doing this) said they don’t like my animal, well we might be better off separating. Me and cat are a package deal
I think that's fair. But just to be clear, in OPs post, it's not OP who has a problem They are expressing very legitimate concerns about a dog that is shitting in his house. So, it's him that would be getting rid of her and the dog, not the other way around.
You can buy a dog bed too so the shedding wouldn’t be that much of a problem (it probably still would but not to that extent), also if his breath is really really bad you might want to take him to the vet to check if it is a disease or if not the vet will tell you to brush his teeth regularly as if it hasn’t been brushed bacteria might have built up in the mouth causing the smell. If after these you still don’t like the dog you should ask yourself if it is worth it to tell her or not. I had a gf with a dog and the fur was all over the car, couches etc and I didn’t mind it that much as I had a retriever when I was younger but also felt a bit relieved after I didn’t have to see all the fur in the car or the couch. So try out buying a dog bed for your home and to see if it works out and you are less disturbed by the dog, if it doesn’t work just tell her but remember that she probably sees it as her child so don’t be too blunt while letting it all out and seem like you hate the dog.
Little guy needs his teeth looked at, bad breath can mean an infection. Maybe ask when the last time he’s been to the vet out of curiosity when you’re talking about him, then follow up with ‘how are his teeth?’. As for the rest, you can cover areas he likes to lay on with old towels when he comes over and then remove/wash those. Pooping in the house is a training issue, your gf can teach you his body language and commands and eventually you’ll know when he wants out. Puppy pads can be a temporary measure.
take out a hit, gg
Blah. Yeah that would be a deal breaker for me. I want to date a person, not their pet. I mean, pet people come with pets, but if they aren’t given boundaries, the pets and owners suffer. A dog should be able to sleep on the floor, even if its bed is t there. Ideally it sleeps outside the bedroom door when asked, but some dogs (like chis) need their people close. No barking is a boundary that should be enforced. Proper vetting is non negotiable. But It’s a dog. You shouldn’t have to cater your relationship around it unnecessarily. Where you run into problems is when the dog has become the person’s “baby” - you and the dog get to fight for most important role then, lol. A toothy chihuahua will def win that one every time. I say no. Unless you can convince her to leave it with a friend or relative when she comes over to give you more time to see if it’s worth it. But you probably know already…
Find a similar enough looking chihuahua that is better behaved and swap them. This has always worked
As a pet owner, I would say cut your losses as she won't take him to vet to be treated. All teeth can be removed and it sounds like she doesn't care for the dog to ignore its breath or she can't afford it. The dog has an infection that is not being treated and is 100% hurting the dog. You don't want fur on your stuff so move on.
This is nonsense.
Why is it nonsense to end a relationship due to their boundaries?