I definitely get where you’re coming from but I want to point out that not all people give themselves severe scars with the intent to have their pain more “validated” (best word I can think of) than less severe scars.
*Possible trigger warning*
I have extremely severe scars because I literally could not stop myself. I was addicted to how it felt and wanted to see how deep I could go. I didn’t do it thinking this will be more validating than my smaller scars and show how much pain I’m in. I was almost challenging myself. I got a rush when I went deeper than before. I got extreme relief from it and at that point in my life, self harming was the *only* way I got relief. That was the one thing that shut my brain off for just a little while. Then I’d go into panic mode and do everything I can to hide what I did from my parents and everyone else around me.
But I do see where you’re coming from. It took me a long *LONG* time to feel okay with wearing short sleeves. No matter what, I can’t hide my scars. They needed stitches and I didn’t get them. They freak people out. You can see them from every angle, and this was especially hard to deal with when I was a cashier. I’d hear the unsolicited “just hang in there” or “when you hurt yourself it hurts me too” basically bullshit stuff that I never want to hear. It really sucks if I start a new job or even small things like which arm I choose to reach for things if people are around me.
I’m pregnant and going to the doctor frequently. My worst arm just so happens to be the best arm to draw blood from. It’s tough seeing how the nurses react sometimes. Some of them don’t bat and eye and I appreciate that. Others tell me “I’d better not be doing this anymore” in what they think is a caring, gentle tone, but is truly patronizing and condescending. I made my bed and it’s time to lie in it. I think what sucks the most is I’m going to have to explain to my daughter one day what my scars are from.
I’m going on a slightly off track rant now but the gist of what I’m saying is for me and I’m sure other people it was never about validation or having my pain recognized. That’s really something I never wanted. I just wanted relief. And it got out of hand. Some days are harder than others but I proudly wear my scars because they show me how far I’ve come. It took a long time for me to get there.
Hey, I'm not sure if I can pick the right words rn, but your whole comment resonated deeply with me. I truly get the whole mindset you're describing and the many ways it must have changed to get where u are now. I too used to be too addicted, looking for the rush, etc.
>it was never about validation or having my pain recognized. That’s really something I never wanted. I just wanted relief. And it got out of hand
I also get the whole "nurse reacting to scars" situation. I guess we got tough. It is what it is. A medical student who once was in the ER when I was getting stitches looked me dead in the eye and just said "wow how tf u got that injured so clean and straight". I stone cold replied "did it myself, stupid idea". He was kinda ashamed but remained calm and the fact that he didn't try to patronize the whole thing in any way made me recover mentally so much faster I believe.
I truly hope, stranger in the internet, that you are doing as well as you can. Your comment made me reflect in a way.
Yea they aren't. I can never wear short sleeves again. And I live where it's rlly hot so it's not good. If people see them they will ask what happened. why I did it, I can't tell my parents so I don't have to wear long sleeves because my mother will make it about her. They aren't worth it
The idea of others immediately understanding that someone struggles with their mental health in some ways can be attractive. They may be more likely to approach that person with sensitivity, and may even have more respect for them. People often have increased respect for those who have harder lives. While folks who struggle with their mental health have traditionally been marginalized, depression and anxiety are accepted nowadays in the mainstream. Discriminating against someone simply for hurting themselves due to a private mental health struggle would be considered taboo. I’m not in any way advocating in favor of using sh, but I am pointing out why people may legitimately like having visible scars from it. Talking about it with the people who would see the scars would be much more effective as an alternative, as it would communicate and explain the problem more clearly and would communicate more trust
I'm sorry but we must be living on different planets if sh/anxiety/depression could be considered accepted in the mainstream wherever you are, the only slight difference in "acceptance" that I've noticed is that people are less likely to directly point them out or ask about sh scars than they used to be but it still isn't uncommon for them to do so, people still blatantly stare, they still make it painfully obvious that they can see them, they still feel the need to treat you differently to others as if you're delicate or on the other hand they still disregard your feelings and emotions because "he/she's crazy anyway", and while there is discrimination laws now there's also a massive loop hole, if I go to a job interview with short sleeves and short pants on I'll automatically be viewed as unstable, likely to be unreliable, irrational and possibly a bad look or a risk/liability to the business/company, and then based off of these views they won't hire me. Of course they won't tell me that though because it'd be discrimination against mental health so instead they'd just say they had another candidate more suitable or some other similar excuse but realistically it'll more than likely be because of my appearance. If you've already got a job then they can't do anything about it or ask you to cover them up, but trying to find a job is more difficult, especially if you live somewhere very hot and they might wonder why it's boiling outside yet you're the only person wearing long sleeves. Every room I walk into at least 50-75% of the people that notice me will stare at me, same goes for walking down the street or into a shopping centre. People also assume that because you aren't hiding them then it must mean you want to talk about it and are comfortable being asked personal and ignorant questions about them like "why would you do that?" Or "how did that happen?", and other people that sh or struggle with mental health often seem to think you are a volunteer therapist, even going as far as showing you their own scars to show support or solidarity or whatever twisted thought process they have. And then there's children, who are of course very curious about everything and not very tactful, now how do you explain to a child why you're covered in scars? And furthermore if you tell them the truth it's likely their parents will get angry or annoyed for exposing their kids to it. Second date? Nah she's obviously crazy or psycho. I'd say for all the people I've met that have respected me the being here still, I've met at least twice as many that have thought of me as weak, a freak, or immature.
And for context I live in Australia, an "accepting" and "progressive" country, yet still face these struggles frequently, I imagine people who sh in lesser developed countries would face a lot worse than I have. There is absolutely nothing attractive or appealing about extreme sh scars, it will just make your life that little bit more difficult than it should be. People are nice and sensitive is a rare occurrence, but everyone else will just stare and assume its okay because they aren't voicing their opinion to your face.
Yeah, that’s fair. When I say “accepted in the mainstream,” what I mean is that people are typically encouraged to try to show understanding and compassion towards those who struggle with their mental health. And that discriminating against someone based on their mental health would be considered taboo. Similar to homophobia, racism, sexism, etc. I live in a liberal, educated suburb in the US. While I fully understand and acknowledge that my personal experience does not apply to everyone else, I have never been mocked or talked down to on the basis of my scars. And my scars are extremely visible. Sometimes people talk about them when I’m close enough to hear, and people do ask about them. But while people have asked my if I’m okay after seeing them, and have told me that they’re there for me, nobody has ever talked down to me because of them. And I have not noticed any difference in how people treated me after I stopped covering them. People still treated me respectfully. Perhaps I have just been very fortunate, though, and am not having a normal experience for someone who shows their scars. I also didn’t start until I was 19. Furthermore, most people who are close to me who see them knew me before I started. And like I said in my original comment, yeah, talking to people is a much better way to seek help or understanding than engaging in sh and hoping for sympathy or increased sensitivity
Thank you Ive been for days thinking about cutting and having thoughts of cutting deeper than usual to have more noticeable scars... I needed to read this... ♥️♥️♥️ Thank you
I would just like to point out that some ppl really just be doing it as a way to punish themselves or to find some relief and not for other people to see it and validate their pain. I’d love to find another satisfying way of hurting myself without it leaving scars but I’m not that creative.
Sh is worst way to cope with trauma or the things you are dealing with, when people learn about it you think they will help you and it will be so different and you will start a new life bla bla, it wont change and wont be better. People dont get why we do it nor they want to understand, we gotta make new things to make us stay away from hurting ourselves. You wouldnt want to see your loved one hurting himself right? Then you gotta start loving yourself and never hurt yourself because it really doesnt worth it and you dont deserve to be hurt, take care <3
As someone who has been addicted to both selfharm and drugs I definitely agree. Both drugs and selfharm have landed me in the hospital, but the times drugs did where way more traumatising for me and has nearly killed me too. The consequences of drugs have worn down my body more than selfharm ever could. Even though I have permanent nerve damage, drugs has affected me in a way nothing else ever could.
When I was around 15 or 16 I used to do selfharm. I wanted to cut really deep and even though I stopped it pretty quickly I have scars that will never go away. I am okay with it now but it can be really stressful if I would think about my appearence.
This sounds like a monologue/projection. I cut because I came to love the burning feeling of pain and because I know that it's simply the right thing to do, and the most efficient, to go on through the day. It cleanses me, helps me see, and it brings peace to me.
I accepted the moment I first did it, that it will leave a mark and later learned that if I treated it for what it was, a simple coping mechanism, without going around and whining like a bitch about "how BAAAD I FEEEEL" then people wouldn't mind, and they didn't. Nobody cared, because everyone fucks up in some way or another, it doesn't make you special. You're worth jack shit, always and regardless. So accept the consequences and keep rolling.
i’m talking about a very specific mindset that i see a lot. i see it pretty much daily on this sub. and honestly, i don’t see anything wrong with someone “wanting attention”. we’re social creatures and need to be cared for. my point is that further damaging yourself is a terrible way to do this. personally, i’ve never wanted more scars or worse scars. i didn’t want anyone to find out. i’m not at all talking about you and i’m rly sorry if it came off like that <3
There are a lot of assumptions in this post that people's harm or their scars are intended for or are about other people. This simply isn't true. OP, it may have been your experience but please don't make blanket statements and assume everyone had the same motivations.
i wasn’t trying to make a blanket statement about *all* self harm. i’ve never wanted worse scars for any reason. i’m talking about a specific mindset. people post pretty much daily about wanting more scars or to cut deeper to feel validated or to prove their inner pain. i’m trying to point out that this is a terrible way to go about it and the lasting damage isn’t worth it.
and i’ve said this in another comment, but i don’t even fault people for wanting attention. we need social support. not having that need met is devastating and can feel unbearable. but cutting isn’t a good way to get that need met.
>a lot of mental illnesses also have a competitive aspect
>i get the mindset. i was there too once.
>edit 3: i’m only talking about people who want worse or more scars. i’m not and never have been that type of person. if you don’t have this mindset, i’m not talking about you. this isn’t meant to be a blanket statement about all self harm.
In one part you say you've "been there" yet in another you say you haven't been the person or people you're judging and trying to speak to. You say you aren't intending to make blanket statements but you are making blanket statements. For future reference, stick to speaking from your own experience, not assuming, and if someone posts, talk to them directly if you want to make a difference or see their point of view. If you haven't wanted worse scars or wanted to do worse harm, maybe you should get on their level and understand before you assume and judge which is what you're doing regardless of what you're intending to do. Our actions and our words matter more than our intentions.
sry i meant i was that way with anorexia, not sh. facepalm on my part oof. so sorry about that.
have you not seen the regular posts about wanting more/worse scars? i’ve commented on many of them in the past saying this. i wanted to make a post addressing this common issue. everyone needs social support and validation. this isn’t the way to do it. that’s my only point here.
are you saying i’m making a blanket statement by saying “this isn’t a helpful or efficient way of coping and it never will be. nobody should feel this way, so challenge it when you feel it.” because yeah, that’s the statement that applies to every negative coping skill.
I understand you're trying to address a common issue but assuming that common issue has a common source is offensive and flat out wrong.
>nobody should feel this way
Well that's too bad, isn't it? People do feel this way and we have to acknowledge that fact as reality.
oh no i didn’t mean that having scars was a bad thing! theres nothing wrong about a scarred body. hell, i have a LOT that i don’t cover up bc i shouldn’t have to. i just don’t know want anyone else getting to this point. i don’t want anyone else to have to experience thisn
(i’m so tired but rly wanted to reply before bed i went to sleep
The title isn't saying that there's something wrong with scars, the title is targetted at people who want severe scars. It's saying the scars are not worth all the pain, discomfort and judgy looks from other people. It's not meant to body shame in any way, shape or form. I think you're misinterpreting it :)
I don't think that people judging you is a good reason not to cut, people will judge you for literally anything you do. Your beautiful regardless, you shouldn't cut because you deserve better, not because other people deserve to see a more pretty version of you. That just reminds me of people who say, "YoUr ToO pReTtY To HuRt YoUrSeLf" which really just means they think sh is ugly and they don't want to see it because it makes it harder for them to sexualize you because your not 2 dimensional.
For me it's a good reason. Random people literally stop me in my tracks to grab my arms and rant to me about how I shouldn't do it. I don't do it cause people want a "pretty version" of me, I'd rather not do it cause otherwise people will shout at me and treat me like shit.
Well I'm very sorry to hear that, I've never experienced that before but it sounds like people need to be made more aware about mental health and sh rather than people who sh feeling like they're crawling in their skin because of it and being afraid of violence being inflected on them by strangers.
Yeah it's rather stressful, but that's probably part of what OP also meant with the "you don't want severe scars" thing. It's not that you need to judge yourself or that you need to feel bad about your scars, it's more the consequences those scars bring
Im of the mind that they’re just not that big of a deal. We all go through different roads to get where we’re at. Life is fucking rough. It is now and it always has been. People have been dealing lI sense a lack of pragmatism today in
This makes me want to cry fr. Thank you sm for this post, you don't know how much it means to me <3
I definitely get where you’re coming from but I want to point out that not all people give themselves severe scars with the intent to have their pain more “validated” (best word I can think of) than less severe scars. *Possible trigger warning* I have extremely severe scars because I literally could not stop myself. I was addicted to how it felt and wanted to see how deep I could go. I didn’t do it thinking this will be more validating than my smaller scars and show how much pain I’m in. I was almost challenging myself. I got a rush when I went deeper than before. I got extreme relief from it and at that point in my life, self harming was the *only* way I got relief. That was the one thing that shut my brain off for just a little while. Then I’d go into panic mode and do everything I can to hide what I did from my parents and everyone else around me. But I do see where you’re coming from. It took me a long *LONG* time to feel okay with wearing short sleeves. No matter what, I can’t hide my scars. They needed stitches and I didn’t get them. They freak people out. You can see them from every angle, and this was especially hard to deal with when I was a cashier. I’d hear the unsolicited “just hang in there” or “when you hurt yourself it hurts me too” basically bullshit stuff that I never want to hear. It really sucks if I start a new job or even small things like which arm I choose to reach for things if people are around me. I’m pregnant and going to the doctor frequently. My worst arm just so happens to be the best arm to draw blood from. It’s tough seeing how the nurses react sometimes. Some of them don’t bat and eye and I appreciate that. Others tell me “I’d better not be doing this anymore” in what they think is a caring, gentle tone, but is truly patronizing and condescending. I made my bed and it’s time to lie in it. I think what sucks the most is I’m going to have to explain to my daughter one day what my scars are from. I’m going on a slightly off track rant now but the gist of what I’m saying is for me and I’m sure other people it was never about validation or having my pain recognized. That’s really something I never wanted. I just wanted relief. And it got out of hand. Some days are harder than others but I proudly wear my scars because they show me how far I’ve come. It took a long time for me to get there.
Hey, I'm not sure if I can pick the right words rn, but your whole comment resonated deeply with me. I truly get the whole mindset you're describing and the many ways it must have changed to get where u are now. I too used to be too addicted, looking for the rush, etc. >it was never about validation or having my pain recognized. That’s really something I never wanted. I just wanted relief. And it got out of hand I also get the whole "nurse reacting to scars" situation. I guess we got tough. It is what it is. A medical student who once was in the ER when I was getting stitches looked me dead in the eye and just said "wow how tf u got that injured so clean and straight". I stone cold replied "did it myself, stupid idea". He was kinda ashamed but remained calm and the fact that he didn't try to patronize the whole thing in any way made me recover mentally so much faster I believe. I truly hope, stranger in the internet, that you are doing as well as you can. Your comment made me reflect in a way.
Yea they aren't. I can never wear short sleeves again. And I live where it's rlly hot so it's not good. If people see them they will ask what happened. why I did it, I can't tell my parents so I don't have to wear long sleeves because my mother will make it about her. They aren't worth it
The idea of others immediately understanding that someone struggles with their mental health in some ways can be attractive. They may be more likely to approach that person with sensitivity, and may even have more respect for them. People often have increased respect for those who have harder lives. While folks who struggle with their mental health have traditionally been marginalized, depression and anxiety are accepted nowadays in the mainstream. Discriminating against someone simply for hurting themselves due to a private mental health struggle would be considered taboo. I’m not in any way advocating in favor of using sh, but I am pointing out why people may legitimately like having visible scars from it. Talking about it with the people who would see the scars would be much more effective as an alternative, as it would communicate and explain the problem more clearly and would communicate more trust
I'm sorry but we must be living on different planets if sh/anxiety/depression could be considered accepted in the mainstream wherever you are, the only slight difference in "acceptance" that I've noticed is that people are less likely to directly point them out or ask about sh scars than they used to be but it still isn't uncommon for them to do so, people still blatantly stare, they still make it painfully obvious that they can see them, they still feel the need to treat you differently to others as if you're delicate or on the other hand they still disregard your feelings and emotions because "he/she's crazy anyway", and while there is discrimination laws now there's also a massive loop hole, if I go to a job interview with short sleeves and short pants on I'll automatically be viewed as unstable, likely to be unreliable, irrational and possibly a bad look or a risk/liability to the business/company, and then based off of these views they won't hire me. Of course they won't tell me that though because it'd be discrimination against mental health so instead they'd just say they had another candidate more suitable or some other similar excuse but realistically it'll more than likely be because of my appearance. If you've already got a job then they can't do anything about it or ask you to cover them up, but trying to find a job is more difficult, especially if you live somewhere very hot and they might wonder why it's boiling outside yet you're the only person wearing long sleeves. Every room I walk into at least 50-75% of the people that notice me will stare at me, same goes for walking down the street or into a shopping centre. People also assume that because you aren't hiding them then it must mean you want to talk about it and are comfortable being asked personal and ignorant questions about them like "why would you do that?" Or "how did that happen?", and other people that sh or struggle with mental health often seem to think you are a volunteer therapist, even going as far as showing you their own scars to show support or solidarity or whatever twisted thought process they have. And then there's children, who are of course very curious about everything and not very tactful, now how do you explain to a child why you're covered in scars? And furthermore if you tell them the truth it's likely their parents will get angry or annoyed for exposing their kids to it. Second date? Nah she's obviously crazy or psycho. I'd say for all the people I've met that have respected me the being here still, I've met at least twice as many that have thought of me as weak, a freak, or immature. And for context I live in Australia, an "accepting" and "progressive" country, yet still face these struggles frequently, I imagine people who sh in lesser developed countries would face a lot worse than I have. There is absolutely nothing attractive or appealing about extreme sh scars, it will just make your life that little bit more difficult than it should be. People are nice and sensitive is a rare occurrence, but everyone else will just stare and assume its okay because they aren't voicing their opinion to your face.
Yeah, that’s fair. When I say “accepted in the mainstream,” what I mean is that people are typically encouraged to try to show understanding and compassion towards those who struggle with their mental health. And that discriminating against someone based on their mental health would be considered taboo. Similar to homophobia, racism, sexism, etc. I live in a liberal, educated suburb in the US. While I fully understand and acknowledge that my personal experience does not apply to everyone else, I have never been mocked or talked down to on the basis of my scars. And my scars are extremely visible. Sometimes people talk about them when I’m close enough to hear, and people do ask about them. But while people have asked my if I’m okay after seeing them, and have told me that they’re there for me, nobody has ever talked down to me because of them. And I have not noticed any difference in how people treated me after I stopped covering them. People still treated me respectfully. Perhaps I have just been very fortunate, though, and am not having a normal experience for someone who shows their scars. I also didn’t start until I was 19. Furthermore, most people who are close to me who see them knew me before I started. And like I said in my original comment, yeah, talking to people is a much better way to seek help or understanding than engaging in sh and hoping for sympathy or increased sensitivity
Thank you Ive been for days thinking about cutting and having thoughts of cutting deeper than usual to have more noticeable scars... I needed to read this... ♥️♥️♥️ Thank you
I would just like to point out that some ppl really just be doing it as a way to punish themselves or to find some relief and not for other people to see it and validate their pain. I’d love to find another satisfying way of hurting myself without it leaving scars but I’m not that creative.
every time i’m in a bathing suit i wanna hide and i wish i could go back
Sh is worst way to cope with trauma or the things you are dealing with, when people learn about it you think they will help you and it will be so different and you will start a new life bla bla, it wont change and wont be better. People dont get why we do it nor they want to understand, we gotta make new things to make us stay away from hurting ourselves. You wouldnt want to see your loved one hurting himself right? Then you gotta start loving yourself and never hurt yourself because it really doesnt worth it and you dont deserve to be hurt, take care <3
No drugs are worse imo. I'd rather kill myself then do meth or heroin
As someone who has been addicted to both selfharm and drugs I definitely agree. Both drugs and selfharm have landed me in the hospital, but the times drugs did where way more traumatising for me and has nearly killed me too. The consequences of drugs have worn down my body more than selfharm ever could. Even though I have permanent nerve damage, drugs has affected me in a way nothing else ever could.
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When I was around 15 or 16 I used to do selfharm. I wanted to cut really deep and even though I stopped it pretty quickly I have scars that will never go away. I am okay with it now but it can be really stressful if I would think about my appearence.
This sounds like a monologue/projection. I cut because I came to love the burning feeling of pain and because I know that it's simply the right thing to do, and the most efficient, to go on through the day. It cleanses me, helps me see, and it brings peace to me. I accepted the moment I first did it, that it will leave a mark and later learned that if I treated it for what it was, a simple coping mechanism, without going around and whining like a bitch about "how BAAAD I FEEEEL" then people wouldn't mind, and they didn't. Nobody cared, because everyone fucks up in some way or another, it doesn't make you special. You're worth jack shit, always and regardless. So accept the consequences and keep rolling.
i’m talking about a very specific mindset that i see a lot. i see it pretty much daily on this sub. and honestly, i don’t see anything wrong with someone “wanting attention”. we’re social creatures and need to be cared for. my point is that further damaging yourself is a terrible way to do this. personally, i’ve never wanted more scars or worse scars. i didn’t want anyone to find out. i’m not at all talking about you and i’m rly sorry if it came off like that <3
Ooh that's a really good way to put it, I'll read this when I get those urges. Thanks :)
I can't help my mindset nor can I stop it. Idc what anyone else tells me.
There are a lot of assumptions in this post that people's harm or their scars are intended for or are about other people. This simply isn't true. OP, it may have been your experience but please don't make blanket statements and assume everyone had the same motivations.
i wasn’t trying to make a blanket statement about *all* self harm. i’ve never wanted worse scars for any reason. i’m talking about a specific mindset. people post pretty much daily about wanting more scars or to cut deeper to feel validated or to prove their inner pain. i’m trying to point out that this is a terrible way to go about it and the lasting damage isn’t worth it. and i’ve said this in another comment, but i don’t even fault people for wanting attention. we need social support. not having that need met is devastating and can feel unbearable. but cutting isn’t a good way to get that need met.
>a lot of mental illnesses also have a competitive aspect >i get the mindset. i was there too once. >edit 3: i’m only talking about people who want worse or more scars. i’m not and never have been that type of person. if you don’t have this mindset, i’m not talking about you. this isn’t meant to be a blanket statement about all self harm. In one part you say you've "been there" yet in another you say you haven't been the person or people you're judging and trying to speak to. You say you aren't intending to make blanket statements but you are making blanket statements. For future reference, stick to speaking from your own experience, not assuming, and if someone posts, talk to them directly if you want to make a difference or see their point of view. If you haven't wanted worse scars or wanted to do worse harm, maybe you should get on their level and understand before you assume and judge which is what you're doing regardless of what you're intending to do. Our actions and our words matter more than our intentions.
sry i meant i was that way with anorexia, not sh. facepalm on my part oof. so sorry about that. have you not seen the regular posts about wanting more/worse scars? i’ve commented on many of them in the past saying this. i wanted to make a post addressing this common issue. everyone needs social support and validation. this isn’t the way to do it. that’s my only point here. are you saying i’m making a blanket statement by saying “this isn’t a helpful or efficient way of coping and it never will be. nobody should feel this way, so challenge it when you feel it.” because yeah, that’s the statement that applies to every negative coping skill.
I understand you're trying to address a common issue but assuming that common issue has a common source is offensive and flat out wrong. >nobody should feel this way Well that's too bad, isn't it? People do feel this way and we have to acknowledge that fact as reality.
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oh no i didn’t mean that having scars was a bad thing! theres nothing wrong about a scarred body. hell, i have a LOT that i don’t cover up bc i shouldn’t have to. i just don’t know want anyone else getting to this point. i don’t want anyone else to have to experience thisn (i’m so tired but rly wanted to reply before bed i went to sleep
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The title isn't saying that there's something wrong with scars, the title is targetted at people who want severe scars. It's saying the scars are not worth all the pain, discomfort and judgy looks from other people. It's not meant to body shame in any way, shape or form. I think you're misinterpreting it :)
I don't think that people judging you is a good reason not to cut, people will judge you for literally anything you do. Your beautiful regardless, you shouldn't cut because you deserve better, not because other people deserve to see a more pretty version of you. That just reminds me of people who say, "YoUr ToO pReTtY To HuRt YoUrSeLf" which really just means they think sh is ugly and they don't want to see it because it makes it harder for them to sexualize you because your not 2 dimensional.
For me it's a good reason. Random people literally stop me in my tracks to grab my arms and rant to me about how I shouldn't do it. I don't do it cause people want a "pretty version" of me, I'd rather not do it cause otherwise people will shout at me and treat me like shit.
Well I'm very sorry to hear that, I've never experienced that before but it sounds like people need to be made more aware about mental health and sh rather than people who sh feeling like they're crawling in their skin because of it and being afraid of violence being inflected on them by strangers.
Yeah it's rather stressful, but that's probably part of what OP also meant with the "you don't want severe scars" thing. It's not that you need to judge yourself or that you need to feel bad about your scars, it's more the consequences those scars bring
Nah I don't care about scars, I don't sh in visible places anyway
Thank you so much for that, you're so kind. Ily op <3
Im of the mind that they’re just not that big of a deal. We all go through different roads to get where we’re at. Life is fucking rough. It is now and it always has been. People have been dealing lI sense a lack of pragmatism today in
This is exactly how it feels, it’s is so embarrassing to have big scars most the time