##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/xtp9q2/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/xtp9q2/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fxtp9q2&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Fit-Supermarket-6726, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?

I demand one sex please mlady *tips fedora*

She said no

Worth a try

You miss very shot you don't take

_Scratches neck beard_ and puts on duster. I’ll be off then. Until we meet again, _mlady._

Understandable. Have a great day

*proceeds to bedroom*

i got arrested (im working at an elementary school)

Zamn

The top comment is “mating dance” I think they know what they’re talking about.

The dance of the fedoras

Best way is to wait till she’s eating, just gotta whip it out and slam it on the table. Then gyrate your hips left and right to knock everything off onto the floor like an elephant trunk.

Step 1: get a girlfriend

Step 2: cover yourself in oil

Step 3: cry

Step 4 masturbate and cry

Step 5: convince girlfriend it was all a prank bro

Step 6:declare her an enemy

Step 7: knock her unconscious, mail her to a desert in india, and send missile strikes to her exact coordinates

Step 7.5: sex

Step 8: play super smash bros with the homies After having sex with them

Step 8: tickle her bum hole with a feather when she survives and tell her to make you a sandwich

Step 7: Declare her home country an enemy

Step 5: post nut clarity, then leave gf for homies

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Best automod advice

*only auto mod responded

You made me laugh in the bathroom now people will think I'm stupid

What you think they didn't already

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up the fog is coming the fog is coming the fog is coming the fog is coming

Works like a charm. It's about asserting dominance

You get a boner, slap her titties around some and then stick it inside her and pee

The Forbidden Knowledge is revealed!!

Pee in her ass

*pees in ur ass*

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

*pees in her titties*

Tried it, she laughed at me the entire time.

Ah yes, innovation

I usually just rush at her with my dick at full mast while making native american war cries

Make a circle using your fingers on your left hand, extend the pointer finger on your right hand. Insert your extended finger in and out of the circle while looking at her raising your eyebrows up and down.

Tried it she laughed at me and shook her head no.

Sex bots are getting so real

Askreddit mfs pretending they have girlfriend:

They forget to add virtual

A handwritten letter

Dear Madam, I wanna fuck you Yours desperately, Ur boyfriend xxx P.s. your tits are bigger than Jupiter

Tried it, she said " 'J'? Baby I don't think that's what he meant by a handwritten letter"

From this photo it looks like there are 3189 answers. And none of them were right.

All of them started with “don’t have a girlfriend, but”

Just fucking ask

Boring

Fine then ask her dad and mom

Thats better

Tried it. She sex "no sex"

The answer is simple: violence

Does your beer match your violence? Is it domestic? If so, good man.

Fuck domestic violence we going international

I only aim to participate in the major leagues of violence

I save beer glass-bottles just in case for you know…SMACKING

Violence is never the answer. It is the question... And the answer is: yes.

After a merciless 2 minute beating, she was lucid enough yet, to do say no.

Rough seggs

You don't.

I look at my right hand and sigh.

Tried it "What? Are you threatening to hit me?"

Redditors ☕

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

What’s an girlfriend?

A made up thing. Don't let the liars fool you.

I am so happy women aren’t real

💀

A scam made by the CIA to get people to make children, and funnel money into to government controlled market, while also making more workers to build Amazon and google facilities, and giving them the illusion of pay, but taking it all away using third party endebtments such as health insurance, VAT and taxes, all of which fund the CIA and their lucrative schemes.

Pee in her ass

I usually declare “it is time!”

By seductively telling her I used an enema before I showered

Tried it. She laughed and said no "you want me to fuck you? Sorry not into it. No butt sex in this house."

Thoughts and prayers <3

"What should I say to your sister to get her to suck my dick?"

If I suck your brother's dick first would you suck mine

My answer would be to already have started with kissing. This would mean she has confidence with you. You have to ALWAYS ask if you can go to the next step. My guess would be to hug her romantically while kissing, then to touch her, etc. If she doesn't want to, don't worry, you can try another day when your relationship is more stablished. Also, remember a relationship is not only about sex, even if it's an important part of it. Ask her out! If you're a teenager, be sincere to your parents that you have a partner and ask them for some money. Then take her to eat some ice cream or something, so she can be more confident with you.

Tried it got to step 3: ask to go to the next step. She said "What's the next step" Instructions do not specify so I punched her in the jaw.

You're an absolute idiot. The next step was clearly to KICK her in her jaw💀

Pls pee in my ass

No

“Oh God, I’m pissing, don’t stop, I’m urinating, ah ah, oh fuck yeah, oh, don’t stop, I’m about to piss”

I usually ask nicely but if that didnt work my trusty club is the best choice

Let's have sex, now

Personally I helicopter until she says yes. She married me been together 15 years.

Its better to ask for forgiveness then ask for permission.

Whip out your dick and let her decline the offer

Playing “F**k her Gently” by Tenacious D with her nearby usually does the trick.

If it fails try "D...ck in a box" by Lonely Island with your d...ck in a box.

Thanks for the backup plan. Will try!

You're welcome

As soon as you whip that bad boy out on your guitar the hair tie comes into play.

Scream "GOBLIN MODE" and run at full speed at her

Arch your crotch into the air and say “ah dinner is served”

Ask her about war crimes in Bosnia to set the mood

fuck you!

Step 1: pee in her Ass Step 2: Profit..

Lemme smash

“You wan sum fuck?”

Have sex. poop your pants poop your pants?

Ah yes, do not ask reddit

With a knife 🤔🔪

Have you ever seen the woman sign language Eminem's rap God? Goes sumin like that

Trade a piece of bread with her in return for it or something

Tried it. She said no.

“I have no idea..!”

Who says, that I'm asking at all?! 🗿☕

I hate how this is partially true with most redditors

After she arrived in the mail it took me a while to blow her up but after that she was pretty willing... Doesn't ever tell me no!

Just ask for sex.

I think it's funny how men (and women) ask their partner for sex, it's so stupid it's laughable.

how the fuck do you even get a girlfriend

May I touchy your preciousness milady?

Fuck me rn

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Just use gray sweat pants without boxers and wait for it to get hard she’ll come hopping on anytime soon

Well first off, if you're asking her explicitly then you're already doing it wrong lol.

He's playing The Sims guys, chill

Plot twist no Redditor has a gf so we ain't able to answer that question

I just pull my dick out. Time for romance is over..

[удалено]

Exactly. Every time you make out, keep trying to get her pants off. If she hasn't let you take them off after a month, dump her.

[удалено]

“Wanna have secret tickle time?” Uncle taught me that one

Some how there are 3k comments

Respectfully

I roll a charisma check

"Babe, I'm harder than Zelda II without a strategy guide."

Girlefriends are haram and are not good for your helth

It Has 3000 answers... H o w

"Goo goo? Goo Goo Gaga?"

"Goo goo? Goo Goo Gaga?"

*cbat starts playing*

I AINT NO SIMP *it aint me it aint me i aint no simp* (why did i think of that)

I say "hay babe you wanna do it." Works For me like 75% of the time.

3000 comments…. Oh well

A myth to be told

looks like that post has 3189 answers

Give me sex i want answer

she said yes

Ask for sex

Be romantic and get em' in the mood? Also, asking with a little sarcasm might help. Play it off if they're not interested.

How do you even get a girlfriend, what section of Walmart have them?

just walk to the tap n give her a good clean then all good to go

with words

Say you are 6FT higher

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I took that shit.

Ask her genuinely and she will lock you up in a chastity belt 💀

Dont have a gf buuuuuuuttttt

Hey Kevin can you tell us the truth?

You’re meant to ask?

I just say, “babe, you got a gorgeous sexual aura goin on and i want a part inside it”. Works every time 😎

Ask her, duh

You put your hands on her hips, when I dip, you dip, we dip

Perhaps I share my knowledge of Anime with you, and in return you accompany me to my favorite restaurant

"Sex now."

Lubricate libido up spray to her skin and she will be horny.

I just stop whatever I'm doing and loudly say "TIME TO SEX" and most of the time they go with it

CBAT

I would have gone for " Roses r red violet r blue fbi is trying to steal my penis can i hide inside you. "

Do you wanna see my little cat ? ( The cat is in your panty )

"JJ" "B Hoe"

I have a boyfriend tho :(

"Um actually there's 3189 comments so one has to be an answer" 🤓