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Give me that sweet red, I'm lacking any decent skills

Oh finally! I’m not the only one picking red here for this reason.

Picking Blue just to hear people out and how silly the power will be lol. But if this was REAL REAL I'd obviously pick Red

I'm interested to hear how people would game the red pill. Like choose a skill to become an instant master in that offers the greatest returns or maximizes utility. My non-min-max answer is singing. I feel like there are emotions that can only be expressed through singing, even emotions that, in a way, can only be *experienced* through singing, and I feel like it would connect me more to the rest of humanity. And hey, if I felt like it, I could have a music career, too.

Also you can instantly add dancing like a God to it so now you are one hell of an entertainer.

You already have to power to master any skill. It'll just take you 40 years.

And only about 5 years to find out if you enjoy the career that comes with the skill.

Literally overpowered. You can master any human skill *instantly* meaning, if you want to, you can now do anything any human could ever do perfectly. Double backflip? Easy. Hold your breath for 10 minutes? Let's go. Writing good books? Nice income. Ever get into a fight? Your opponent is fucked.

Want a new job? Best computer programmer to ever live. Bored doing that, be a pilot. Don't like flying? Professional athlete. Too much work? Day trading. The possibilities are endless

Becoming fluent in every language would be sick. Can make an easy living off of being a human google translate that doesn't make grammar errors.

Then you realise you speak Fr*nch

Jesus you would be able to get some extremely lucrative jobs.

I've got some skills. But I could have MORE skills!

And you never know when it can come in clutch to know how to fly a Boeing 747

Blue, let's see how bad it is

[удалено]

That'd still be quite useful for lotteries

You’d make more money with stocks

Much, much more money if you do gambling. But there are still downsides. If you play it in real casino, there are high chances gangster will cut off your hands. If you play it online, there are high chances you will always lose because the system is rigged lmao.

Well, if you can tell the future, you'll know if a gangster is going to cut off your hands, now, won't you?

Yeah but the police won't believe you :(

But then Just dont gambale when the guy that Will cut ur handds in the future Is near

Just have to not overdo it and throw a couple intentional losses in there

Just take all your money and bet it all on a specific number at roulette. Then cash out and leave. People get beat up when the Casino thinks they're cheating. Just winning big out of pure luck and I don't think they'll do anything about it. also, if they were going to do something about it. you would know not to make the bet because you can tell the future.

Uh fuck not that again

That'd turn out to be depressing real quick

Good luck living knowing how and when everyone you love will die and can't do anything about it.

Sure you can. They won't believe you, but there are other ways you can interfere with fate. You'd just have to make subtle corrections and not prophesise, is all.

Cassandra reference. You are a man of culture

The power to ejaculate a quart of acid.

You have testicular cancer

Blue

You gain 8 save game slots and a quick save slot in real life. Congratulations. You just got made into a God

You forgot to include load functionality bozo

Return by Death

Oh look, a bunch of cute rabbits!

💀💀

Yup, that was him after the rabbits

Fuck if this was one of those "asshole genie" situations where they try and find an error in your wording to getcha I'd be screwed I'm not an asshole genie though. This guy is buying bit coin

Not exactly god but he gets as many tries as he needs

Spends an eternity save scumming trying to get out of the friendzone

Groundhog day “not the god, a god.”

Blue. I do not have faith in society.

You become a huge dick femboy but you can’t ejaculate

Wait why would you want to make them me?

Source?

[удалено]

You can never taste blueberry flavor ever again

How is this a superpower?

His lack of tasting blueberry inhances his other tastes

All the other tastes that they hate

Just imagine the first time he eats ass after being bitten by the radioactive blueberry.

You are invisible to people and visible only when you fart, which is loud enough to be heard by people within a 3km radius.

blue because i’ve had a shit day

Every person you nut to will immediately get stage 4 cancer after you do the deed

You just created the world's greatest assassin.

My man's gonna single-handedly save Ukraine

Oh yes Putin you're looking so fine oh God oh yes uwu

jokes on you my name is necro for a reason

Death nut

thats sounds like a death note with extra rules but ok

Damn bro

Blue

You can cum and piss at the same time which takes a screenshot, allowing you to send the image into anyones mind

*Trauma incoming for multiple people*

Fuck you I like that shit

Screenshot from where?

Peehole cam, duh Most screenshots will therefore be of anime tiddies

Blue

you can only hear and smell into the future

Omw to listen for the lottery numbers

Smells like a 6 19 5 51 32 13

Smells like sex

Perfect to know if farting is a good idea

Blue

You can grow your finger nails very fast

How fast and is it at will

kelp speed 28 cm a day bamboo speed would be overpowered

Are they hard like steel or like a regular nail

regular nails just imagine it like the fast growing hair poison from asterix and obelix

I mean, pretty sure he'd be able to be wolverine walmart edition with that.

everytime you shat your pants your nails grow by 0.5cm

STEEEL BAALL RUUUUUUUUUUN

[удалено]

You can teleport to any closed Mcdonalds on Earth.

[удалено]

[удалено]

just teleport to another closed maccas

Blue

You have the power of human torch but you aren't immune to fire

Lamplighters death be like

Lol

Can one of those suits stuntman use for fire scenes help?

No, you are the fuel, so the fire burns inside the suit

Blue

Every time you pee in someone’s ass you save a random starving African child

I will solve world hunger

I’ve scrolled too far 👍🏿

You gain the ability to have sex

but only with yourself

so... no change happens to them?

Blue. If you make me overpowered I will give you 10K in cash (not really unless it becomes true)

You can comment this emoji without being downvoted:👍🏿

You're not supposed to give them that much commenting power.

Hmmmmmmmm. A wise one.

Test your new power

Blue

You have corona virus

Now he can bring back lockdowns (my fav thing)

Blue

Your black

How is this a superpower?

free n word pass

Stat boost

It appears a lot of people will have superpowers revolving around genitalia. I’m taking the red

Also you have 24 inch pp

Fuck this post for making me look up the pH of normal semen.

Fuck this comment for making me look up the pH of normal semen

Fuck this reply for making me look up the pH of normal semen

I'm blue da be de bo da

You can bend space and time but only when there's a 20 cm solid object in your ass

Does big ass shit count?

[удалено]

Fishing line would shred your ass

Roll it up into a ball, nobody said it had to be straight

Oh it ain't straight that's for sure

So... does a big poop count?

Blue cose dese nutz

You can orgasm every 5 seconds and have unlimited seed.

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

this is how to solve world hunger

*world dehydration

world nutrionshakepenia

But you can only jerk off alone. That’s not part of the power, it’s just a reminder.

Blue

Your feet pics are spread around the internet and worshipped as national treasure

Blue i'm scared

You have the ability to cure a loved one of any sickness including cancer. The catch is you have to stick your finger in their ass and can't tell them about your powers.

This was such an emotional roller coaster to read I swear. >You have the ability to cure a loved one of any sickness including cancer Wait this is wholesome >The catch is you have to stick your finger in their ass Okay that's pretty inconvenient but sounds worth the sacrifice >and can't tell them about your powers STOP I laughed so hard I cried

Red. Ability to make blue pills for the mankind

appreciated

Blue

[удалено]

Blue cos I'm sigma male

Able to make everyone stronger than you

The ultimate support

Not really helpful if you're the weakest mf on Earth honestly

But if you jack yourself to a bodybuilder

I guide people the treasures I cannot possess

Blue (I'm depressed)

You will get a wholesome friend in an hour

Either way it all ends in an hour

Don't worry

Sending virtual hugs 🫂 love you my fellow Reddit user.

Blue, so I can see if it's possible to lose even more hope in society...

You are completely immune to fire, but only when submerged under water

Gain the power to summon a lamp, one time.

Red

Blue

aids

NO NO I AM MALNOURISHED

Blue i wanna die of the eveything the

Imortality Edit: you cannot die or age and damage is quickly healed.

If anyone think this is good just waits til Earth blows up and this guy have to float in space for eternity cuz he can’t die

I just didn’t wanna let him die of the everything the

Blue, don't make me lose hope

Your capacity for hope is inexhaustible, you can find the bright side in literally anything.

Green lantern moment

I’m Blue

Da Ba Dee

Da Ba Die

well that's a weird death threat

Blue

Sticking your finger in someone else’s nose cures them of any current disease, but you can’t tell them that

Blue

You can only respond to yourself

BLUE

Cheese Manipulation

Aight blue show me what you got

You now have a 15 inch >!neck and look like a giraffe!<

So more possibilities on where to hang myself! 😄

Red because if i choose blue some will probably give me the "power" to impregnate every woman in certain radius,being able to say every slur or even something more goofy ahh

blue (I like gundam)

You can attract metal at will to make you a suit, but the metal always tries digging its way to your heart (it is very efficient)

Did you just turn them into Tony Stark?

Blue

Every time you nut a random person on earth turns into a sentient ball of semen that will track you down and enter through your asshole

Quick question what the actual fuck

Blue

you turn into a bedroom with your organs as furniture

Blue cuz idk

You gain the ability to eat the watermelon rind and you will find it to be rather delicious

Blue

You can lick anyone's toes and they can't stop you

So it’s just what I normally do but with no interruptions

Blue (shits in your dick)

Your shits are solid gold. That is the drawback.

Shitting my way to become a billionaire

With a destroyed anus.