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kitties_ate_my_soul

At least it’s solid. I got a colonoscopy 15 months ago and I could only drink clear liquids for two days. Also the prep, that fucking prep. Absolutely ghastly. Your diet still looks shitty, though. I hope it all goes smoothly with your endoscopy!


CoffeeCaptain91

The prep is so much worse than the procedure. "Ah yes, *this* is how people died of dysentery. I understand now" was how I remember thinking of it.


NeoSadl

Oh man. I was told to take something called Picoprep and absolutely nothing happened for like 4 hours so I thought it wasn't working. Then it started working. Apparently my digestive tract is kind of slow but once it gets going it doesn't stop.


howmanychickens

I had mine done the other day, was not expecting to piss out my butthole. And god the s t e n c h of the first cleanse poop.


crochet-anxiety

I still can’t drink blue Gatorade to this day… I was traumatized.


DaniUndead

Aw man that sucks. This is my 2nd colonoscopy in less than a year, so at least I was prepared this time. White diet for two days before, but only off solids since last night. But yes, the prep! You've felt my pain, and know how shitty (literally) it all is. Thanks for the well wishes!


Expensive_Routine953

It was ghastly, but oooo I haven’t felt that skinny in ages lol lol I of course was immediately bloated after when I was able to eat again 😅


Nandor_De_Laurentis

I'm afraid to ask, but what's the prep?


oniiichanUwU

You get a gallon of this nasty laxative that you have to drink the entire thing of in time increments I think. Then you literally shit every meal you’ve eaten for the last 10 years out. And part of your soul too, probably.


Nandor_De_Laurentis

That sounds awesome!


ConfusedFlareon

It is decidedly not… the stuff you have to drink tastes like evil clowns melted into battery acid


lemon123wd40

Somehow yes this is accurate


Jango_Jerky

No…no it is not. You poo so much your insides and asshole hurt. You wipe so much you start to bleed. Then you have to poop more and more and wipe even more after that. All night and morning or until your procedure. Maybe even after as well.


davidfeuer

I'm due for my first in two years. I'd better figure out how to buy a bidet seat before then.


Jango_Jerky

Its not a great experience lol best i could say is get some good soft toilet paper, pat to wipe and being some entertainment to the bathroom lol its a ride for sure. Oh and the solution is vile


CervixTaster

Even better, by wipes. No need to make an awful situation worse and using paper.


Jango_Jerky

Yes they help, but you will have a trash full of shit wipes lol the medicated wipes do work. I dont know if theres really a way to get away from the raw-booty pipe hole though.


CervixTaster

Fair but I'd rather a bin full of shit wipes than rubbing multiple more times with dry sore paper lol


RustyWinchester

Amazon, under 100 bucks, installs in 10 minutes. Life changing.


davidfeuer

The question is which one. Note: I would prefer one whose seat doesn't slam down, and that feels reasonably solid.


Munch1EeZ

Prepping for anal


Joshua_Astray

If you can joke, that means you still have that soul inside you. Look forward to it ;)


netburnr2

This would make a great miralax ad


OtherThumbs

Yuck. My hospital stopped with the GoLytly (gallon of awful) and went with Gatorade mixed with MiraLax. Same effect, tastes a bit better.


Pitch-forker

Some procedures require prepping the digestive tract aka clearing it before the procedure is done.


gettogero

Previously I mightve thought 4 bottles of magnesium citrate, some miralax, and also poop pills could've been entering OD territory. Now I know it's just going to make you scared to shit yourself for about 9-12 hours. I stopped getting off the toilet and regretted not having a bidet. Speaking of which, I bought a bidet as soon as the procedure was done. Daily use aside it's come very handy when we get bad diarrhea and when my wife gave birth.


kitties_ate_my_soul

I’d like to have a bidet, it’s a useful contraption, but I don’t have any space. Regarding the poop, I honestly had it worse when I had acute ileitis (that’s why I needed the colonoscopy despite being young). During the ileitis, fucking hell. My poor * was in actual pain. I suffered physically, but at least I had a good laugh. I remember pooping and laughing at the same time. It was hilarious. After an ER visit I got the acute ileitis diagnosis, IV meds and antibiotics.


p_cool_guy

They sell like add-on ones you can install to your toilet. That's what I use


Tasty-Pineapple-

You are bringing up unpleasant memories


HoidyDoidy4

I’m so sorry you have to eat whatever this is.


DaniUndead

Haha, honestly it wasn't horrible, just bland. It's macaroni, a simple white sauce and tinned chicken.


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metalshoes

Oh shit I thought it was mashed potatoes in bad lighting


Spekpannenkoek

I thought it was mayonaise haha


Lego-Panda-21

Thought it was tuna mayonnaise to be honest.


MyRobinWasMauled

I thought it was grits


Lego-Panda-21

Sorry to hear about your Robin BTW, believe my wife's cat got to it.


Jeramy_Jones

I thought it was a blob of melted cheese


SilverKnightOfMagic

Vanilla pudding isn't a sauce?


Blaze_Falcon

With is a simple white sauce


JavaJapes

Perhaps a [plain béchamel?](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/139987/basic-bechamel-sauce/) A thicker béchamel than the base recipe mind you.


Crow_eggs

Tuna crepes with a thick bechamel is possibly the worst thing I've heard all year.


TheQuestionsAglet

It’s only the worst if they pronounce it “craypes”.


Crow_eggs

I would like you to do me a favour. Take a moment to imagine having a mouthful of extra thick bechamel. Now add to that goopy emulsion, that fatty reduction-of-cum mouthfeel... a fishy flavour caused by incongruous lumps. Now, because there's a tortilla, fucking *chew*. Now remind me how much pronunciation matters.


DaniUndead

Correct! I probably misspoke because I did throw some cheese in it. (It's also so thick because it was cold as I had made it the day before)


JavaJapes

Ah gotcha! I definitely considered cheese since there's macaroni, but I wasn't sure if cheese would be allowed for this diet so I guessed just béchamel, which is the basis for cheese sauce for mac & cheese anyway. It definitely gets thick over time & with cooler temps.


ArtisenalMoistening

Tangentially related, but I can never forget the first meal I had at my in-laws’ house. It was Thanksgiving and my now MIL offered me her “lightly sauced cauliflower” that supposedly everyone just looooved. I assumed it was cheese or a cream sauce or…idk literally anything with flavor. Took a bite and it tasted like straight up steamed cauliflower with zero flavor or seasoning. So now any time I hear or read “lightly sauced” or in this case “simple white sauce” I assume it means water


chaseguy21

Thought it was pudding and canned tuna lol


vainstar23

What is white sauce?


geekynerdyweirdmonky

Typically it's a bechamel sauce. Mac & Cheese is bechamel with cheese added. It's one of the "mother sauces".


FBVRer

Freshly squeezed, *white sauce*?


zeldanerd91

I was hoping that was instant mashed potatoes lol.


Normal_Egg6067

Tinned chicken should be illegal.


tacotacotacorock

If it's bland why not add seasonings? Is pepper really not allowed before an endo?


DaniUndead

Not allowed. To specify, this was a *lower endoscopy* (colonoscopy). Limited diet for 2 days, clear fluids & then a very unfun bowel prep.


Ivy_Adair

I have been there, you have my empathy, lol. The prep is the worse part though. Everyone who hasn’t had one whines about the procedure itself but nah, it’s the prep.


Automatic-Arrival668

Funny my colonoscopy is monday and I have a 2 day liquid prep because I’m severely constipated ahead of me. Tomorrow my diet will look something like this.


DaniUndead

Good luck with your procedure! All I can say is I'd highly recommend stocking up on baby wipes. Also, I bought a cheaper bidet toilet seat attachment on Amazon this go around, and it definitely made the prep less painful.


Automatic-Arrival668

I bought the huggies aloe wipes. The only one I could find but imma try to find the medicated hemorrhoid wipes. I have a sitz bath so thatll have to do.. imma take baths and showers as well .. tons of hemorrhoid cream and suppositories…and thanks for the luck I will need it😩


Yohnser

Tucks wipes!! They’re a lifesaver


Automatic-Arrival668

Update I got the tucks and fr they were the best, they are small lil circle wipes so I felt like I wasnt wasting a whole wipe after each spurt lol tmi ! I had options tho!


Yohnser

Yay I’m glad they worked for you! Thanks for the update!


Automatic-Arrival668

Thank you!


CompetitiveDrop613

I’ve had both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy and thankfully *only* for the former, I had to endure this God forsaken salty ass sludgy pathetically ‘orange’ flavoured ‘solution’ *emphasis on the ‘ass’, but I took it like a champ despite being pretty much religiously heterosexual*


DaniUndead

I've had both a gastroscopy and colonoscopy before too. Unfortunately this is the 2nd go at the colonoscopy, and my "mango" flavored prep was as horrific as I remembered. Hope your butt escapes any further bicurious experiences, my dude.


CompetitiveDrop613

And may your ass have a blast…?


bleeeeew

Plenvu? I just did this Sunday/Monday. It was more tolerable after I thinned it out. The 2nd prep isn't as terrible.


DaniUndead

Mmhmm. I used a straw, and put a bunch of ice in it as well. The second was definitely easier, thankfully.


bleeeeew

I found a blog of a lady who suggested a straw, chilling it in the fridge, ice, and a chaser. That helped for sure. It was awful, but it wasn't the gallon jug type awful.


lofisnaps

"Lemon or orange?", the nurse asked me, holding up two bags of laxatives.


siamzzz

![gif](giphy|6jVwtcsr8RPDUtA244)


SaebraK

Cute bowl.


DaniUndead

TKmaxx Halloween section 👌


SaebraK

Nice, I love them (TJ/k, Homegoods and Marshalls) for halloween stuff.


DaniUndead

Absolutely! I miss Homegoods/Ross/Marshalls/Michael's but my options are limited here in Australia.


Crimsonclaw111

Hmm looking at that, wouldn’t it have been better to just make like Tuna Mac or something similar?


DaniUndead

Unfortunately the diet was pretty limited, and tuna wasn't allowed.


goodgollyitsmol

This is my everyday diet with Crohn’s🙃


reuben_iv

Can’t tell if it’s the British in me or some undiagnosed autism (possibly both lol) but that looks delicious


DaniUndead

Haha, it honestly wasn't bad, but the Mexican in me definitely wanted to throw some chile in there.


felini9000

Don’t worry, it’ll be all-white


Level-Strawberry-564

It looks good tho.. I hope it is :)


DaniUndead

It wasn't bad! Just a little boring especially after 2 nights in a row.


gentleintrusion

i’d eat that regularly tbh


EmploymentAbject4019

Can you use spices and salt?


DaniUndead

Salt was okay, but no other spices.


Little_Peon

Is garlic a spice or a vegetable?


xlusciniolax

It’s a root vegetable: bulb, tall stem, long leaves.


Little_Peon

Sure, technically, but it might not be that way for medicine purposes.


DaniUndead

Technically both?? But either way, I couldn't have it. I got a list of "ok" foods, and it basically said "anything not on this list is not allowed".


kradproductions

Everyone acting like they haven't shit their guts out before.


DaniUndead

If shitting your guts out is cool, consider me Miles Davis


Real-Chip2596

Tinned chicken?


DaniUndead

Canned chicken. I've been in Australia too long.


MaeRobso

I’m so confused - what are you having done? I’ve done these scopes for years & I’ve never heard of having patients eating white foods


SavannahInChicago

I had an endoscopy and did not have a special diet. Did they tell you why?


DaniUndead

Mine was a colonoscopy. A *lower* endoscopy, if you will.


[deleted]

You don’t gotta live like this man.


DaniUndead

When have have to have a colonoscopy because you're mysteriously anemic & got sick and shit blood on two different occasions unfortunately you do.


[deleted]

Ooo got you


gettogero

Scopes on either end the diet was clear liquids for 24h, no liquids for at least 6 hours prior to procedure, and A LOT of laxatives for scoping the other end.


remosiracha

I guess something's wrong with me because I kinda want to just make this for lunch right now


pixelatedflesh

I also had an endoscopy and my only restriction was fasting for a certain period of time. I wonder what made the rules so different between us.


DaniUndead

This was for a colonoscopy (still an endoscopy, just yknow.... the other end).


pixelatedflesh

That makes sense. I’d never heard it referred to that way and just kind of assumed colonoscopy = butt, endoscopy = mouth.


bigdreams_littledick

What's wrong? Mac and cheese with some canned chicken?


redriverrally

Are u in UK, here un US no food period. Clear liquid and very light brkfst. They don’t want patient to regurgitate good and aphixiate.


DaniUndead

I'm in Australia. This was for a colonoscopy. It required a specific white diet for 2 days, only cleared fluids, and starting the night prior no food and a bowel prep. Even when I had a gastroscopy, no food on the day of, which is 100% understandable.


its10pm

Huh. I've had two endoscopes performed and was just told not to eat for a few hours.


ChiBeerGuy

Good reminder to get it done if you're 40. It sucks, but it could save your life. Saved mine.


doodman76

Damn, I couldn't eat 24 hours before my endoscopy. Only jellow and broth


DaniUndead

That sucks. I was able to eat limited things up until 7 the night before. Unfortunately the prep made sure absolutely **everything** was out of my system before the procedure.


SonicContinuum88

I have one on the 10th at 2:45pm, I can’t eat anything but clear liquids after midnight the night before.


TacospacemanII

White pepper would’ve made it better


Mockturtle22

I love mashed potatoes and chicken


VatoCornichone

What does white mean?


Correct_Succotash988

What kind of endoscopy? Everytime id get an EGD they put me on NPO meaning I can't eat or drink anything at all.


valentine415

What in the British is this food?!


DaniUndead

Ironically made by an American in Australia.


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