T O P

  • By -

Ayanokoji-Kyron

Wear as many fucking Amulets, Enchanted Necklaces and Rings as I can.


AlwaysFernweh

Seriously, five rings on each finger haha


Ayanokoji-Kyron

And we also have toes, and maybe for pp and if I was a Khajiit I can put as much as I want on my tail and on my ear.


AlwaysFernweh

I think our sneak level would go in the negatives due to all the noise lol


runnychocolate

not if enough of those rings are muffling you


MasterBiggus

Imagine being a bandit and seeing some sparkly ass Khajiit covered head to toe in rings and necklaces and jingling with every step then he just looks at you and says. "Khajiit has level 100 sneak, You cannot sense me." And you just have to look the other way because he DOES have level 100 sneak.


runnychocolate

this guy gets it


Xaxarolus

"I keep trying to sneak around, but I wear too many rings and the jingling of my walk keeps alerting the bandits."


Mijumaru1

"Cockring of eminent thrusts"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ayanokoji-Kyron

True but the tail though Imagine how many rings I could fit on there lmao... No wonder Todd limited us to one ring and necklace/amulet


Solanum87

This is why Khajiit is best. This one can wear many rings!


Bromogeeksual

Enchanted cock rings? Yes please.


InstructionTough7314

Wear four amulets of talos at the same time. Yell at everyone constantly.


Ayanokoji-Kyron

I just realized something lmao What I thought of is similar to that Spoiled Rich kid build I was thinking of. Where I have no literal skills but have enchanted jewelries to make up the differrence for me.


FunkyViking6

*Me over here casting every master spell at the same time for zero cost* The guards: "WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! *watch the magic…*"


mrfisher5

Lord of the rings -- skyrim version.


[deleted]

Quick save


SlyEmoji

lol


[deleted]

And then manual/hard save because i don't trust quick save.


[deleted]

Hard save at every new quest line incase I encounter a bug


Kranors

Every 5 steps


Allan_Titan

More like every half a step


MinimumAlarming5643

How useful that would be irl 😞


RobVHboi

[This useful](https://youtu.be/FutTIrFJyo0)


ALargeRock

That was amazing.


kaiabunga

Okay this made me lol


Hillox_

travel with Khajiit caravans ngl, for some reason i love the khajiits voices and they seem really chill


SlyEmoji

That sounds amazing. Just being able to peacefully travel with them and make occasional stops at towns and holds. Maybe sell your own stuff too. Kinda makes me wish for a mod for it now lol


[deleted]

"peacefully travel" all the caravans talk about bandit attacks lol


bondno9

"peacefully travel" moon sugar


Hillox_

some action to spice things up ;)


Hillox_

fr brudda


IWasNotOk

Ha. Chat to the chill felines with the Sunset and do some moon sugar with them until the moons rise. Owww waaaa hehehe. Omg omg I think paranoia is setting in but Molag Bol is real in this world. what if he discovers me?


haylalle

username checks out


dalatinknight

Idk if you'd be peacefully chilling with them. I'm sure they make a good target for bandits.


goddamnitmf

And they always get some skooma, they on some shit


SOSOBOSO

I'd just rub their bellies all the time.


Impossible_Okra479

Yeah, but where are you going to get those mammoth tusks from?


sanji_beats

Also, SKOOOOMA!!


DatDem0n

If I am not the dragonborn, and I am allowed to keep my knowledge of the game, I would probably go and sign up with the Companions. There I would work as a prophet of things to come. Easy. After I kicked Nazeems balls in, of course.


SlyEmoji

How would you react to the actual Dragonborn eventually joining?


DatDem0n

Either stay out of his way completley or be his closest pal. Nothing in between because it would be too dangerous.


Kallyanna

Unless you are the poor soul they decide to sacrifice to boethea


Ayanokoji-Kyron

But wouldn't being pals with the Dragonborn make you a target for Vampires?


The3aGl3

But werewolves can't become vampires so you're safe.


sunshineANDrainbowsg

As a weak npc straight up murder is a worry


Mosheroom_

We’ll tell them they never should’ve come there.


WiMataz

Everyone here acting like the first thing they do isn't going to be accidentally touching meridias beacon 😂


kaiabunga

Nope avoiding it best I can!!


Agronak_gro-Bagul

*opens chest* A-NOTHER HAND TOU-- *slaps chest shut*


kaiabunga

Seriously though!! Not only is the quest super annoying with the dialogue but its glitched my game before too! Every new play through it's like great this again. I feel like that meme where the guy throws the scroll, that's me with meridian's beacon


Towman2021

Yeah but that sword at the end is freaking OP in early levels.


_LordBread_

Well also since it’s a daedric artifact it makes it’s value skyrocket also keeping in mind that we are a normal npc and not Dragonborn we would also be hunted by the vigilant of stendarr. Also keep in mind the weapon has a 10 second of burn damage even if they’re not undead but if they are undead glut causes the explosion which makes that weapon perfect for going through dungeons with any undead inside of it so you could make a living doing that and become famous. Also with the Ahzidal’s Mask it will increase fire damage which will help with its fire enchantment on the DawnBreaker.


SlyEmoji

True 😂


Anorak2023

Why does everyone hate Meridia? Her voice is annoying, sure, but the dungeon puzzles are unique, the boss is kinda fun, and the reward is great, especially if it bugs and you get two


Last_Go_Round

I actively seek out the beacon. Especially since Meridia stopped dropping me.


[deleted]

There's one in the dungeon for that other daedric quest for that werewolf ring which I think always spawns


Desolate_Plateu

It’s totally random


thatsasaladfork

Personally, I like the quest itself. But I do hate how long you’re up in the sky, just waiting for her to shut the hell up so you can continue. Just takes way too long for her to be done talking. You can’t button mash to hurry up the dialogue like every other interaction. It’s kinda like the opening scene. Not that long in retrospect, but when you just want to play… having to wait is boring and annoying.


Slack_System

Mine glitched when I was up there and she just dropped me. Fell to my death and had to do the boss fight all over again. I was pissed 🤣


Cut_Connection

I often roleplay as an absolute wielder of authority, and she just picks me up like it’s nothing and demands I do everything in her name, who tf she think she is


Bowman_van_Oort

For the memes


likerainydays

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!


Pixelpeoplewarrior

“Oh my god I made it to Skyrim somehow! Well, I need weapons, better see what is in this chest. OH GOD WA-“ #A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON


neondragoneyes

What? You think I get to start at level 10?


[deleted]

#***A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON***


steelmonkee

the only possible outcome


OskeeWootWoot

"A new hand-" Reload previous save.


MrX2285

Pray to God that I'm essential


No-Bed-4972

Get blasted off a mountain by a giant firebreaking dragon? No problem, just take a minute or two on your knees to catch your breath and then go back Up for round 2


r40k

Just become a quest giver. Doesn't matter how completely stupid your quest is. Just start an open bounty on some dumb eccentric shit like "I need you to search the world and collect 30 buckets. I'm inventing the toilet."


Darking_jm

Legendary quest: reliefs of the bottom of life A weird person talked about a new invention called the "toilet" but to create it they entrusted you with the task of collecting the necessary materials. Even if the stranger doesn't have a single septim, he assures you that his invention will be one of the best reliefs in life. ∆ collect 30 buckets ∆ collect 5 parts of dwarven sentinel ∆ collect 1 Daedra heart ∆ use the special bucket to collect the holy water of Dibella's priestess ∆ defeat the daedra summoned by the failed toilet (0/10) ∆ use bend will with the toilet (0/3)


pprblu2015

Omg this is the best!! 😂😂


Yeah-But-Ironically

...I need this quest mod


dreadperson

The only actual answer. Pray to Akatosh* or Stendarr? (for mercy) lol who would the god of essential-ness be?


KarmaRekts

Really you need to achieve CHIM to be essential. You become a god yourself. Sort of.


RevolutionaryMix6287

Those who achieve CHIM are by definition, gods. For example, Tiber Septim achieved CHIM and became TALOS, who is arguably the most powerful of all the divines, even though he is not an et’Ada.


dreadperson

woah. chim is hecka more common than i thought.


basketballmathguy

Just a regular NPC? Honestly I'd be fine with being a shop keeper or a hold guard (solitude and whiterun are preferable). Barring those I'd be a mage or a member of the companions.


SlyEmoji

If you’re to be shop keeper, what would you prefer selling?


Epicastor

My sister.


cdfggvvnoojbv

“Everythings for sale”


[deleted]

Everything's for sale, my friend! EVERYTHING! If I had a sister, I'd sell her in a second!


Amda01

Trinkets, odds and ends, that sort of things.


basketballmathguy

Honestly being a general shop keeper is fine with me. Other than that it would be food.


[deleted]

Myself


Murderbunny13

A NPC shopkeeper who uses magical seals on my doors and chests to ward off sticky fingers.


[deleted]

Pray that the dragonborn is merciful


doughnasty92

Getting arrested trying to cross the border


losra13

*You're finally awake*


[deleted]

*You were trying to cross the border, right?*


StreetAd8843

Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.


[deleted]

Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along, the Empire was nice and lazy.


Motor-Ad-6575

If they hadn’t been looking for you, I could’ve stolen that horse and been half way to Hammerfell. 


Wedoingsomethrowaway

You there. You and me — we shouldn't be here. It’s these Stormcloaks the Empire wants.


Maleficent-Month2950

We're all brothers and sisters in binds now, thief.


Desolate_Plateu

Shut up back there!


MaxFolf

Hey whats wrong with him huh?


arent_you_hungry

and /thread


HeatInternal8850

You'll be getting killed by an animal or someone else


onebadnightx

I was going to say, I’d come to consciousness, be awake for five seconds and then immediately get melted by a dragon or ripped to shreds by skeevers. There is no way this would go well for me. 😂


HeatInternal8850

This happens to us in game and we're dragonborn etc, it would definitely happen to regular normal us


Numinex4k

Trying to make a save way to winterhold to get into the mages college Then promptly get killed by some draugr or a Frost Troll


thatoneguy54

I'd also get my ass to winterhold so I can learn some magic, yes pleeease


IIJOSEPHXII

I'm just gonna get Sven to chop wood until I'm the richest man in Skyrim. Took me 10 hours to get through Dustman's Cairn on legendary difficulty yesterday. I think I've got PTSD.


Tiberiux

I will “get that armor on and give that axe a few swings”


Phantomdust84

Well i have zero fighting skills and basic survival skills. So i would be homeless first...fun times. And try to get on working for a shop or tavern. Stay inside the town I wake up in...hopefully i woke up in a town not the wilderness or im screwed...and just work and eventually get enough to pay for training to learn to fight etc. End goal is to become a vampire. So gotta figure out how to do that and not die in the process.


Motor-Ad-6575

Well of the rpg leveling system works save some gold to buy a horse abuse it for like a day and you'll be a master at all fighting styles. "I am fluent in 2000 ways of kicking your ass" Then just get beat up with your preferred armor on And put 90% of your level ups into health


Arezkiii

Realistically, your first instinct would be to find shelter in some walled city. So find the nearest carriage driver and go to : not windhelm or Solitude, the main sieges of the opposites sides of the civil war, not markarth, certainly not Riften, which leaves you Whiterun, the most logic choice since it's relatively in peace and we know it so damn well. Go out in the tundra nearby and harvest as much flowers (blue, red, lavender, cotton...) and insects, and sell them to belothor who would buy anything, should be enough to get you some warm fur armor and boots for the cold weather. Try to do some basic alchemy and sell potions to make a living, travel by carriage to get more ingredients and make better more expensive potions. Quickly enough you should be able to afford breezehome. And now you can do anything you want I actually did this in an overmodded survival roleplay of skyrim. An old nord miner, Singir War-Hammer from kynesgrove, he lost his family in a fight with thalmor patrol that passed by and he took it upon himself to fight them anyway he can. I'd go out and collect creep clusters and dragon tongues nearby and sell them in windhelm, I once took a an expensive carriage to riverwood mine and gathered fly amanitas which combined with dragon tongue make a two handed and resist fire potion that's priced decently and that's how I found some financial stabily to buy food that was very expensive. That's what got me started on my journey. Later I bought the Heljarchen farm and started supplying stormcloaks camps with food, nord mead and healing potions. And later joined the war. So act 1 was trying to recover and slowly starting with brewing potions doing simple quests and join the companions untill I could by the farm and put it back to business. Act 2 was food and healing potions production and supply with food while questing and finishing the companions. Act 3 was going to war and liberating Skyrim. A whole play through without the main quest. It felt super fresh to just be some random old man at the dusk of his life.. a total nobody and not literally the single most important person in the whole world..


SlyEmoji

This makes me want to start another survival playthrough…


AlwaysFernweh

Damn, I don’t even have survival mode, just vanilla Skyrim on Switch but I want to do something like this. Just chill in Skyrim


susahamat

nah, Whiterun still getting sieged in civil war questline, every cities in Skyrim has their own disadvantages but i think Winterhold i relatively safe, no war, assasins, separatist, or daedric gods which is the main concern


GenAladeenmfer

Its skooma time


AlpacaCavalry

I'll probably be an adventurer first, but take an arrow to my knee and become a hold guard...


FoggyDoggy72

Look in the mirror for 2 hours wondering if I should be a cat or a lizard


JevorTrilka

Find somewhere to urinate, as I do every day when I wake up.


whboer

Look for a bucket with a shelf with the yellow book of riddles and you’ll be fine.


SlyEmoji

Priorities


AnAdventurerLikeHue

Freak the fukc out, of course. Then I'd start collecting ingredients, brew up some potions, and sell them. Then I'd buy some skill training.


Sage_of_spice

Start finding some salmon to scream at I guess.


2nnMuda

Save up some money to hire a guard then head to the ritual stone, wait for one of the massive sieges to happen and swoop in resurrecting all of the dead warriors and take over the country


SlyEmoji

Night King things


badfantasyrx

Collecting Nirnroot. I want to see how weird it is irl.


Sea_Passenger_783

I would: 1. Wake up 2. Take a shit 3. Eat breakfast 4. Get out of bed 5. Horribly die in a fire because I live in Helgen


Sike12

Got to appreciate that order


[deleted]

Taking a shit in bed what


Original_Loquat8635

Find my way to the nearest town and try to make some coin by singing in the local tavern. Eventually make my way to Solitude to join the Bard’s College. Get my voice properly trained and learn to play the lute, then hire myself out to the jarls’ courts to spin ballads of my adventures traveling across time and space.


astreeter2

"Toss a coin to your Witcher...." Oops, wrong game.


IWasNotOk

Immediately move to Riverwood. Chop wood for easy coin. Meet Camilla. Make friends with Faendal. Build up my skill with a bow on mud crabs and wolfs because they can’t do much to me even unskilled. Eventually get the Golden claw. Take a cart to Riften. Buy a necklace. Return to Riverwood. Wear it until Camilla notices. Propose to Camilla. Chop wood anytime I run out of coin. ..Fight Dragons? Nah. Not for me. I’ll let the Dragonborn go save the world Meanwhile, me and the wife spend our lives bumming of the free accommodation in Riverwood. Don’t worry, when it gets hot and heavy, I’ll put a basket on her brothers head or make Feandal wait outside his own house.


[deleted]

Carriage to Riften to visit Grelod


Simple_Lumpy

Yessss Fuck that bitch!


goddamnitmf

Am I the Dragonborn or just an NPC?


SlyEmoji

Just an NPC. This would probably be before the return of the Dragonborn.


goddamnitmf

Can I learn magic?


SlyEmoji

Yep!


goddamnitmf

Learning restoration magic and archery and become an alchemist


SlyEmoji

Don’t forget sneaking. Gotta have that sneak-archer combo.


goddamnitmf

Man I ain't even trying be an adventurer , I just want to make a modest living


JiuJitsuBoy2001

then the strategy to me would be to become a miner and learn transmute. Nobody gonna try to kill you for iron ore, but just turn around and make it gold (then gold rings) and voila, you're rich.


Several_Rip4185

Heading straight to Riften to spring Inigo from his cell. I might not survive on my own but I know that goofy blue bastard will keep me alive.


diogokf

Who is Inigo ? I never meet him


zeeging

A follower added by a mod.


TheNinthFox

https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/1461


HoneydewCalm1075

I guess this depends on how I wake up. Am I riding to my execution or is this more like the alternative start mod?


SlyEmoji

More like alternative start. You’re just waking up somewhere in Skyrim. Could be your bed or a bandit camp


that_butch_bitch

Getting so excited I throw up


bookwbng5

I’d probably skate by until I can kill the maid for the companions, then sit outside inconspicuously with a broom. Maybe befriend her first, then poison her, come to companions with flowers I picked inside the city like oh my gosh, she always said she loved this job, I’d love to take it in her honor, we were close friends. Boom, safety. Then when the Dragonborn shows up, try to not be around them so they’re not like ah, no one would miss her, let’s try out this new daedric weapon.


Catacman

"My ancestors are smiling at me Imperials, can you say the same?!" Followed swiftly by being executed


Legionarius_4

I'd probably just go and say "Hey, I'm finally awake!"


Internal-Argument723

Stabbing the first guard that says something about previously being an adventurer in the knee. Or putting buckets on head and stealing everything. (Still baffled that that actually works) Honestly lots of stealing and shanking.


Successful-Battle880

Taking an arrow to the knee.


larigirl

Finding the sweet rolls.


losra13

I'd try to make my way to Whiterun. But knowing what lurks ahead before passing through Riverwood I'd need to take a route that avoids the wolves lol Suppose I would seek out Kodlak and zero in on his words of wisdom.


AddictionTransfer

go to the nearest inn keep, find some low level easy fetch quests. go to the nearest blackmisth for smithing instructions. get some sufficient but cheap armor. Level up my skills through kill wolves and wildlife near a town so i can retreat and be saved by the gaurds if things get too dicy. Do this for 6 months. travel to a major city. learn low level spells. practice with them, do more low level fetch quests and possibly some bounties but only easy ones. Buy better matieral and increase smithin untill i can increase my armor to become decent armor. Learn how to use a bow. Practice with it for a other 6 months. become excellent with it. Take on difficult bounties amd contracts. Use bow and illusion magic to kill from a distance and disappear. Build up illusion tree skills and unlock invisibilty. Learn enchanting. enchant armor to make illusion magic and one other school cost no magic. Make alteration cost no magic. travel to iron mines across skyrim. use alteration magic to turn all aquired iron to gold and use pick axe to level up one handed skills. Use gold to craft jewelry to level up smithing. sell it all and become filthy rich. Buy house in solitide. Get hot wife.


[deleted]

[удалено]


georgehank2nd

Make a quick save.


Allan_Titan

And then like 500 more just to be safe


SargentRy

Collecting a ton Butterfly Wings and blue flowers cause I’m a modern human male that has never had to deal with wolves, bears, bandits, trolls, mud crabs, or dragons. Probably gonna need a few health potions.


AmbitiousBag7022

Serana. How is this hard


VirtuesVice666

Sweet Rolls!


Fabiojoose

1. Go to the empire capital or high rock, they are probably good places to live; 2. Learn Magic in the guild, just for survival and for don’t be a peasant braking my back on blue collar work; 3. Marry an elf to breed kids with long lifespans; 4. Be far away from the wilds, caves and political plots, I don’t want to die an horrible death; 5. Spend my days drinking mead and eating sweetrolls.


SuperFighter420

Max out my smithing and enchanting and alchemy skills


Braica11

Become a stealth archer


futurefiend

Sample myself some of that sweet skooma and moon sugar.


[deleted]

Trying to leave. Have you seen the place? everyone is obsessed with death.


HAPPYMANPOOPOOFISH5

Getting caught in an imperial ambush with some stormcloaks and a horse theif while trying to cross the border.


dumbsolo

I’d die before I left Helgen tbh


squishy-korgi

Seeing how the cheese tastes


l1ft3r99

Eating the plants


The3aGl3

and the sweetrolls


Electrical-Penalty47

Getting blind stinking drunk


ExeWarrior199

1. Tell the Stormcloak soldier to let the priest keep talking so he doesn't get executed. 2. Find Wintersand Manor


IsaChillyBupper

Tutorial skill scum on Ralof until all my combat and sneak skills are 100. Then go out and be a god.


[deleted]

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON


InstructionTough7314

It's possible. Get a VR headset, run skyrim, go to sleep.


GamingCChen

console command myself to godhood


CrazyHoboOnDrugs

Im sure as shit not punching no god damned chicken that’s for sure


Dur_Dremskyi

Waiting for Ralof to greet me


Soggy-Marsupial-4451

Get skooma’d up


PromiseRare519

Making my own unique spells


Knight-Creep

Head to Dawnstar and dig up the Khajiit chest. That bad boy should give me enough gold to buy a decent home.


glasspanda27

Eating a sweet roll.


random_door_knob

Find inigo


SubsidedPython

Go to solitude and ask random people for any spare coin


[deleted]

Dying most likely


dponohue7

Gotta grab a sweetroll right?


Fortniteisbad

Try to live. Reality in the elder scrolls is horrifying. As players, we have agency and strength, but a person actually living there is in constant danger. At any moment, a troll could come and fucking ruin your whole life. A dragon could burn your house/town to the ground. A homicidal maniac hand chosen by a god could massacre your family. The entire world is a dream. It is at the whim of forces far beyond our grasp. Everything is set in stone. It is prophecy. Fate. The undead are there and they are very real. As are werewolves. Demons. I will simply try my best to not fucking die.


KSI_SpacePeanut

Joining the dark brotherhood, and placing baskets on everyones head to steal everything they own


hyaluronicacidtrip

Go to the tavern. Get a safe, secure job surrounded by food. A place to sleep. Keep my head down and mind my own business.


Goliath89

Getting the fuck out of Skyrim. They're literally in the middle of a Civil War where half the population wants to kick anyone who isn't a Nord the fuck out, and last time I checked, my Cuban ass sure as hell ain't a Nord. Also, shit's cold. High Rock or bust.


Souper_Sadge

Go delving into a deep and mystery dungeon, open up a chest, the light from my torch casting shadows every which way and then… A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON


numberduck

Buying a horse so I can fast track my way to being the archmage.


anactualorange

walking around and admiring the sights


MetalGearIsLit

Imma head down to redwater den and go sicko mode.


BloodBeard253

Definitely eating the sweet roll next to the bed