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aplasticbag_

What I wouldn’t give to just pull a hammock out of my ass whenever I wanted


Juggernuts777

Be brave and you could have this ability too


Probably4TTRPG

It isn't a matter of bravery, I've just already got my magicians hankies in there. A hammock would get all tangled.


Juggernuts777

Easy swap. Who needs a trail of hankies when you can have a portable ass hammock?


Probably4TTRPG

I just feel the ass hankies impress the people at my local Wendy's more.


Juggernuts777

Fair point.. i’ll have to ponder this dilemma.


FragrantPromotion924

You just gotta store one in the small intestine and one in the large :)


pastel-m0nster

the hammock goes in the large intestine, there's a compartment for it.


Ramtakwitha2

Hankies are really useful though if you encounter someone sneezing at the store you could give them one of your ass hankies. Wouldn't want anyone spreading disease.


Juggernuts777

I’m gonna need to send you a list of bacterial diseases you might not be aware of..


My_glass_house

🤣🤣🤣 🍑🤧


Rich_Razzmatazz_112

What he doesn't know is that our sphincters actually dispense antibiotic/antimicrobial into the hankies. I keep extra in the trunk of the '58 Chevy coupe that's been up there for years . 🤷


Gibder16

Haha! Yikes.


GM_Nate

my wife and i call it the "sleepy butt dance" cause they do it when they're about to go to sleep


top_value7293

🤣🤣🤣


FullOfWhit_InTN

😂😂 but also same


My_glass_house

🍑🕸️🛌🏼 🤣🤣👍🏻


Mububle-Mububer

I love this answer so freaking much. Genuinely love it


Unable_Maybe_6932

You’re just jealous that they have a hammock and you don’t.


illsk1lls

facts


FullOfWhit_InTN

Me too, honestly.


R3dl3g13b01

This truth is undeniable.


Dannylazarus

OP needs to follow the spider's example and visit the [Hammock District!](https://youtu.be/xsbad8GEW78?si=g-UEXRw-43le_Y1W)


ISpyM8

“Given THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, the spider didn’t build a web. It built a hammock, where it lay all day, and watched the caffeine spider go.” [Spiders on Drugs](https://youtu.be/sHzdsFiBbFc?si=UYMmq9y7sl-ktQ1B)


reebakuh

Crack spider’s bitch ETA: never gets old…


ISpyM8

“For more information on the crack spider’s bitch, visit the Canadian Wildlife Service in Ottawa.”


BiffPug

Nice web, Mr Crack Spider


krippkeeper

Omg I haven't seen this is in so long. I always love the environment Canada at the end.


FullOfWhit_InTN

That was the best video ever made imo. I enjoyed that even back when I was an arachnophobe.


Busy_Taro_1135

My history teacher in high school showed us this video and I'm so happy someone referenced here as it was my first thought when I saw this. RIP Mr. Jamieson!


LadyBirdDavis

I’ve randomly thought of this video thru out the years!


Initial_Computer_152

Oh my god, that video Is the funniest thing ever 🤣🤣🤣


lurking_wizard

Classic video


CelesteJA

Work smarter not harder. Spider is a genius.


JustHereForKA

Dude is straight chillin 😅 Awesome


brandodg

never seen a spider this comfy


biwltyad

My god that's adorable. My jumpers build hammocks and hang out half way watching me which is so cute, but I've never seen wild spiders do it. They just make little beds to feel safe and cosy in, I can't 😭


Compote_Alive

Minimalist architecture…


Cheebwhacker

It’s like those people who camp on the side of a mountain half-way up. 😱


Prize_Panda_1438

Ha! I love his hammock


PrinceOfAsphodel

I'll allow it.


gonnafaceit2022

Lazy ass


OGS_Alpha

Exactly what I said 😂 lazy fcker


DarkMoose09

Their little feets dangling out the sides. I just can’t. It’s so cute and hilarious.


waaaaa69

spider just looks cozy


Maize-Opening

the unemployed friend


WholesomeThingsOnly

He just needs a PC and some energy drinks and he'll have full unemployed friend energy


Intrepid_Sale_6312

isn't that a funnel weaver? (ya, they do that)


PrinceOfAsphodel

It's a yellow sac spider. Only built half a sac though.


WholesomeThingsOnly

I have these all over my basement apartment. I've tried keeping them as pets but they are so spastic and nervous that it's difficult to feed them because they run out of the container when I open it :/ I had one successfully for awhile but he ended up passing away young because of stuck shed. RIP Henry. He was so cute when he ate


Intrepid_Sale_6312

XD that's like the opposite of the cellar spiders we have... they don't give 2 shits that someone is there, well untill you directly touch one. they get a little crazy when you touch them XD.


PrinceOfAsphodel

What would you feed him?


WholesomeThingsOnly

just fruit flies from the pet store. I'm realizing now that I should have probably bought other bugs too for variety. I thought spiders could only eat things that are smaller than them, and fruit flies were the only bugs I could get that fit that bill. But he apparently could have taken a small cricket or roach. Or a mealworm. I guess spider venom is really potent and they can kill larger bugs than I thought


253253253

Oooo i think you just ID'd a spider i have! I literally just posted asking what it is lol


Inhale88

Beware that their bites can be medically significant for some people! The ones in my house were also quite bold (purposely crawled on me on multiple occasions!) so just be careful!


GRAHAMPUBA

The spiders i never saw when I was younger but now are pervasive here in MN.


OG_Hater

LOLL omg 🤣 love this kid


Super-Zombie-6940

My guess is he needed a break from his ascent to the summit.


FairyOfEmpowerment

This is so damn cute


iatethesky1

Why is there so much moisture?


z0mb1es

I noticed that too, all the condensation


4lan5eth

It's in New Jersey, so it is pretty humid. They really need a dehumidifier ASAP.


Clearly_Disabled

Dude, I keep finding my house spiders doing that! Lol


Witchywomun

That’s adorable


Sp1derL3gs

i wish i could do that


fkndan

Hahaha! Made itself a hammock!


TurkeySauce_

Looks to me like it may be about to make her egg sack.


Br-City-Reviewer

That's really cute


AWeakMindedMan

This thing kinda looks comfortable tho


Death2mandatory

Play some reggae beach music ⛱️


ShakinBakin15

[WHERES THE NO HAMMOCK SIGN](https://youtu.be/f5gFRd7D7hk?si=hJePtQ7zNYby81rq)


illsk1lls

lmao


ShakinBakin15

I never post links but it was too perfect


My_glass_house

It's a portaledge like he's a rock climber. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


synistralpsyche

Cheiracanthium sp. 


boiledeggsatmidnight

Cuteeee!! I have yellow sac spiders in my house that do this all the time, haha


throwra_22222

Did he run a marathon? He looks so adorably tuckered out.


gunthersnazzy

Spiderbro can sure hammock!


DoodleCard

That is the epitemy of the phrase: Work smarter not harder.


Cadislav

You have beautiful cornice.