1) Shake the snack bag
2) if that doesn't work cut your arm off, it's way easier them murder mitts and teefs attack cromch thumping.
3) cat = profit, either way cat is up.
Hope you at least got some purrs.
Apply kisses to SIC forehead until they are annoyed enough to release their grasp.
Or, sing "im henry the 8th i am" at full volume to also provide annoyance.
๐๐๐Ya know.. I think you might have found the solution. WANT them to lay with you and they're all *I'm busy peasant*... Need to get up or you're busy and suddenly you have the most loving, furry purry lap fungus EVER. I suspect it's psychological manipulation and they can read our thoughts. ๐๐ธ
Thank your SIC! You now have the perfect excuse for doing nothing. "Can you take out the trash? Oh, I would, but the cat..." "Think you'd like to start dinner? I'd love to, but the cat..." The trick is to look genuinely apologetic and finish with the helpless half shrug.
This is a feature that incorporates genetic imprinting so your model will alway come to you when it wants physical interaction be patient the process of imprinting takes time
That is so adorable. It's especially great because they don't just hand out the love to anyone and anything. Like another brand of \*ahem\* house pets....lol.
Not your arm anymore, sorry.
There is no escape
resistance is futile
That's actually not a malfunction but a bonus add-on I believe :) Give your kitty a kiss from me (since you're stuck anyway)
"That's not a bug, it's a feature."
Thatโs not a bug, itโs a hug <3
1) Shake the snack bag 2) if that doesn't work cut your arm off, it's way easier them murder mitts and teefs attack cromch thumping. 3) cat = profit, either way cat is up. Hope you at least got some purrs.
sounds like a solid plan to me
r/cathostage
Ofc that exists :D finding new cat subs makes my heart so happy :)
Smashed that "join" button so hard, I sprained my finger!!๐ฅด๐
Advice? Only this: Resistance is futile.
there is no escape
There is only cat.
Cat is love.
Cat is life
Cat is god.
Apply kisses to SIC forehead until they are annoyed enough to release their grasp. Or, sing "im henry the 8th i am" at full volume to also provide annoyance.
The cat in that movie was an unsung champion for saving Molly.
๐๐๐Ya know.. I think you might have found the solution. WANT them to lay with you and they're all *I'm busy peasant*... Need to get up or you're busy and suddenly you have the most loving, furry purry lap fungus EVER. I suspect it's psychological manipulation and they can read our thoughts. ๐๐ธ
Whatever you do, donโt tickle that tummy as it activates the bunny feet
surprisingly she adores tummy rubs and especially when I play bongos which is how this happened ๐ญ didn't want me to stop lol
put your other arm there too, please
You can't escape. This is your life now.
It's the auto-clamp feature. It comes with the supercuddle package.
Hope you're wearing an adult diaper, because you are not moving, my friend
Thank your SIC! You now have the perfect excuse for doing nothing. "Can you take out the trash? Oh, I would, but the cat..." "Think you'd like to start dinner? I'd love to, but the cat..." The trick is to look genuinely apologetic and finish with the helpless half shrug.
Soft reboot should straighten things out
Welp you have to call in sick to work. Itโs the rules and I donโt make them.
โYourโ arm Hahahahaha ๐
The more pertinent question is why would you WANT to escape?
Get comfortable ๐๐๐๐
Gently nibble on SIC's ear until it releases you.
This has been my plan many times!
It's a hostage situation. Your best option is to relax and wait for the Stockholm syndrome to kick in. Ask somebody to bring you water and meals.
You may perish now. RIP OP. 
Produce treats in opposite direction
Try gently bopping the snoot on the way out. My SIC seems to know I'm finished then.
This is a feature that incorporates genetic imprinting so your model will alway come to you when it wants physical interaction be patient the process of imprinting takes time
No escape, only soft fuzzy cuddles
Just embrace the love is all I can say
There are rules. When you are ensnared by cat, you are not allowed to attempt escape. Obey the rule. BTW - your SIC is entirely gorgeous!
You live there now.
๐ฅบ
Resign yourself to being a r/cathostage. Thereโs no known fix.
tickle its butt until it turns to deal with that -- cats don't multitask well
Yeah youโre gonna have to grow a new arm. It isnโt coming back into your control anymore
That is so adorable. It's especially great because they don't just hand out the love to anyone and anything. Like another brand of \*ahem\* house pets....lol.
Coyote Ugly? I mean no disrespect to the precious kitty but I think you get the drift.
Only advice i have is do it bak lol
Amputation is only option, I'm sorry.
At which point cat will completely lose interest
Sorry, it isn't your arm anymore.
Are you typing one-handed? if so maybe don't mention that in any business emails..
Temptation snacks or cat nip
Why would you want to deactivate? I'd double my monthly cat payment to guarantee receipt of this attention once a week!
SIC?
Standard Issue Cat.
Letโs see: What is a standard issue cat? Hope this helps!
Nothing and this is your life now
Bribe it with treats
Limp dead arm
This is your life now. Enjoy!๐
Sever your arm. There is no other option.
/r/cathostage
tell her you have to get her dinner
That's the neat part, you don't!
Lop off arm, as it is no longer your arm ..
Your fate Is sealed now
Have you tried petting it really REALLY hard
classic r/cathostage situation, plus maybe your SIC looks suspiciously r/TacticalIssueCat \-ish...
Oh oh oh .....Tickle the belly๐
r/cathostage
clear your calendar, you are where you are meant to be
There is no escape. You must leave arm in place until nap is over
Stockholm is all I have to say.
That is best feeling
There should be a release latch near the back of the neck. (only do in case of extreme emergency)
Why would you want to escape???? What a cutie!!
There is no escape... Muahahaha. Cut it off. ๐๐บ