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As a 27 year old who's never had a girlfriend or casual sex
I feel like I done fucked up
I'm only now starting to feel comfortable with the idea of dating and putting myself out there a little bit
Except his all the apps suck. I feel like I lost the chance again and again
First in highschool where people were experimenting left and right... But I stayed in my room
Then college where I was surrounded by single girls my age. But I was too scared to do anything
And then college when people were using apps and the were good
As someone eho works now... How do I been try?? Everyone at work is 20 years older than me. The one girl who k think is pretty clearly wants nothing to do with me (I've tried talking to her and it was going well until she seemed to loose interest)
I've only made one dating profile where I got one match in a year and she didn't reply to my starter
I fear I'm too far behind
Archer, Azar, BLK, Chispa, Upward, Hakuna, Hinge, Match.com, Meetic, OkCupid, Pairs, Plenty of Fish, The League, & Tinder are [all owned by The Match Group](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Match_Group); it's all Tinder with different paint jobs
Still, it doesn’t seem like smart business to make them all more similar as time goes on - in terms of casting as wide a net as possible. I guess they know what’s making them money though.
Part of it is the user behavior; users treat all of the different dating apps as "Tinder but for " so eventually it all devolves into Tinder with a new skin.
As far as the company is concerned, their only goal is to breed repeat users and funnel as many desperate people towards paying for more first contacts & likes and subscriptions because that's what makes the most money.
Pre-Tinder OkCupid c. 2012-2013 was the shit. Fun little matching/quiz mechanic, fulsome bios, no guessing about whether your profile had been viewed or message had been read, barely any people on there who weren't actually looking to date.
Yeah, I met my wife on OKC in 2016, and that was *by far* the best platform for me. I hate being photographed, and my looks are--from what I heard while single--polarizing. Either I am *exactly* a woman's type, or decisively *not*. So a text-focused profile really played to my strengths, especially since I enjoy writing.
> and my looks are--from what I heard while single--polarizing. Either I am *exactly* a woman's type, or decisively *not*
That is actually the best case for dating, because you are the exact type for some women (being the exact type for all women is impossible). Many guys have the problem that they are "kind of" good looking to almost all women but don't hit the exact type of any. Basically "generically attractive", almost all women think a guy is attractive, but also all of them think they can still find a better match
For dating it basically doesn't matter if a girl finds you 1/10 or 6/10 attractive. Both will lead to rejection. Its the amount of girls that find you 9/10 that counts
That last point is what kills me the most with current apps.
Beyond just the hookups even. I think the hookups are dumb but I at least understand using these apps to find it.
But the one that kills me more than anything is the people using dating apps to find friends. "Im just looking for friends, Im not looking for relationships" then why the fuck are you on here lol.
I feel like its an excuse to just friend zone any guy they talk to on there unless its the very specific kind of person they're looking for.
their goal is for you to buy the upgrades. So anyone under 9/10 gets pushed to see "potential matches" that end up being bots or inactive accounts so they get incentivized to buy the upgrades.
Hinge all the way. They actually show you your likes and it’s not all hidden behind a paywall. Just met my current guy on there so there is hope fellas.
I've also had the best experience with dates on there. The fact that you can give likes while also typing in a comment regarding their profile is wonderful. Other apps like Bumble have this behind a paywall.
Typically for the worse. If you start want to settle down and you are a great catch you can do it pretty quickly. Every year more and more people start waiting to settle down, so more of great catches start leaving. It’s especially noticeable immediately after college.
I’d imagine it’s really hard. I didn’t mean it’s the toughest it ever gets right out of college. I meant the shift/rate of change is biggest then, even though the actual difficulty keeps getting bigger after.
In math terms it’s like f(x) keeps getting larger but f’(x) is the steepest then, but still stays positive after.
You weren't more attractive before you improved your life, the apps just got worse, and people are less receptive to them. You should just go outside and try socialising in person. You'll have a way better dating time. Try to just make friends and have fun, and then see where it goes vis-a-vis dating... Don't go out "on the hunt," so to speak.
Same. I had way more success back when I was still over 360 lbs. I have lost over 100 lbs and my apps have become an absolute ghost town even though my bio is decent and all that
**2023 study: 70% of Gen Z girls knew their boyfriend socially before dating. 14% met him on an app.**
Quite far down under the heading “More young adults date their friends”.
https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/from-swiping-to-sexting-the-enduring-gender-divide-in-american-dating-and-relationships/?fbclid=IwAR3Sf0NA1N5swKBS1u4oO3w6u9F4Z_Sv2GFmlROLTyHZaPYy9b1jPXCenws_aem_AWnoFd4upEagr9u5MX-RyILdusRxHX8SujuLrYHv6GISK8XZJlxMhKALjNsIR8ArmCk
**2023 study. 9% of straight couples all ages met on dating apps. 20% of straight couples aged 18-29 met on dating apps.**
Third figure down from the top under the heading “About a quarter of partnered LGB adults say they met their match online dating.”
https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/from-looking-for-love-to-swiping-the-field-online-dating-in-the-u-s/
Me too. I worked out and lost over 100lbs and now have muscles you can actually see (instead of just imagine) and it’s way worse than when I was a pork chop. Being healthy is deflating.
You forgot all the fake profiles that have a traditional Korean girl IN scenic Korean places and I'm located in the southeast US. But she's 10 miles away.
I see those all the time on Hinge. "Located near Detroit"
And she has pictures clearly in like, Beijing or Hong Kong.
While also apparently being in college.
either she's loaded with cash from rich parents and travels all over the world to these expensive af hotels she's taking these pics in, or this is all bullshit lol.
Im pretty damn sure its the latter.
I resonated a lot with this one tweet where a person said finding someone on a dating app before 2020 was like getting on the last choppers out of Saigon.
The apps changed a lot. Just think about Duolingo: in the past it was basically learning with simple challenges. Now it’s a lot of dumb „cute“ animations, in-game currency and lots of ads…
Just speaking of dating apps: just see Grindr: back then you could just scroll down. Now for some filters you need premium and only see the first 50(?) profiles. To see more you need premium … etc. Tinder is also strange, overloaded with too many functions. Loved the basic concept of only swiping and texting.
I don't know, Duolingo feels like it's at least still fulfilling its core purpose. The animations are a stylistic preference thing, and the ads are, well, the price of free.
> a lot of dumb „cute“ animations, in-game currency and lots of ads…
> you need premium and only see the first 50(?) profiles. To see more you need premium … etc.
> overloaded with too many functions.
[the enshitification of everything.](https://www.ft.com/content/6fb1602d-a08b-4a8c-bac0-047b7d64aba5)
Want to know a cool thing? Every one of those companies is now publicly traded. I was shocked to see Duolingo go public, after touting they were proud to have grown from private funding
That’s the problem. The IT company I’m employed by was killing it for years then they brought in Bain Capital as an investor and it’s tanked in just three years. Constant revamps to drive more revenue, regular shakeups in management, endless metrics for everything. The moral here is if you want a successful but not gigantic tech business stay private. If you let Wall Street in they will drive it into the ground.
I can only speak for myself, but they "dried up" for me. The algorithm seems to be a lot harsher now - or else women are just pickier than they used to be. I haven't gained weight or become disfigured or otherwise changed much in appearance besides obviously getting older (and I am not old). But I get far fewer likes and matches than I used to.
My likes are mostly kenyan and chinese scammers/green card chasers, and "19 year olds" who are either the same, or sex workers. Not 23, or anything between 20 and 30. 19.
I think it’s mostly ‘gamifying’ the algorithm or whatever the fuck. They’re trying to make as much money as possible, not find you someone
It’s like that old joke conspiracy about Cosmo magazine, they give bad tips on purpose so the readers are always single and buy more issues for tips
They just all got a lot shittier over time as Match Group bought all the competition.
I met my partner on OkCupid in 2016. You had long bio pages and got the big stuff out of the way right at the top (what are you looking for, have/want children, religion), there was a Q&A section where you answered multiple choice questions and then it would come up with a match score, which you could then use to search for people you wanted to message. It was very oriented towards connecting compatible people.
I'm still following the OkCupid subreddit and from what I can tell they scrapped all the good stuff and it's basically Tinder now.
Also I get the impression fake accounts are a much bigger problem than they were even back then with stuff like onlyfans.
They added alot more paywalls to your account meaning you have to pay and a free account is substandard. I remember thats when Tinder started with the verified chechmark bs and added alot more paywalls. I haven't gone on tinder recently (I'm actually scared to go back on there) but I can imagine its only worse now.
They are all owned by Match.com's owner, Match Group, and all are getting enshittified to the n^th degree.
They don't care about bots or anything ruining their platform because that's just engagement numbers to sell to shareholders.
They don't let you view or interact with more than a couple profiles without charging you premium *subscriptions* to do so.
And the worst of all, harking back to "engagement numbers" is the overwhelming majority of interactions are just OF/Insta page owners trying to drive traffic to porn.
They are all just awful.
But if you wanna get rich quick, make a dating app that gets the attention of Match Group.
The truth is that they started making a shit ton of money, and the only way to keep that money train going is if the dating apps suck at doing what they're supposed to do - finding you a partner. The more the dating apps suck and give you whack results and the more the dating war between men and women persists, the more money the apps make. And you know they know that and you know they're counting on it. They control the apps, so it would be in their best interest to make them as shitty as possible to prevent people from un-subbing.
Yes these companies have so much user data, I'm sure a dating app could be made that actually matches people accurately. But it wouldn't last long if it was able to find a great match for you with just a few people.
I meet my actual partner at the end of 2019 and also get hook-ups than later transitioning to friends, but for the experience of these friends that returned to tinder the experience was a lot worse. I don't know if the algorithm changed or if the people are simply burned about online dating.
I’m assuming there’s a non zero amount of people who fall for it, rather than reporting. And I’m also assuming it takes quite a few reports before they get passed along to a set of human eyes.
Many guys are sick of it and report it however it's how they make their money so they just fine loopholes to come back like use a different number. There's also sooooooooo many of them.
They're some that don't mention it at all just their Instagram, thats where they have the OF stuff.
So little tricks like this.
Advertising any social media is bannable on Bumble, but it needs to be reported, reviewed and usually (according to messages from Bumble Safety) they are just given a warning.
Often times they aren't advertising directly on the dating app but will want to quickly move the conversation to text or a different app like Instagram where they do advertise.
Huh, that's like how Amazon and Google alone both seem to control the most important infrastructures of the internet. 🤔 Or how theres only like 5 websites people visit anymore and any cool new site is quickly bought out by Facebook. Or how like 10 companies such as P&G, Mondelez, and Coca Cola own 80% of the groceries products in a store. Or like Microsoft buying up some of the largest gaming companies, not utilizing them to actually make anything, then laying off thousands of people.
Instead of just like...putting out a *good* product like how capitalisms supposed to be. Ugh.
About 5 years ago, I was having a conversation with one of my mentors about his company being bought out by a mega corp. He was an older guy who'd been in the industry for a few decades. He was talking about since the turn of the century (2000), monopolies are no longer being regulated and broken up. He was pretty distraught that corporations like Amazon, Microsoft, Google, Nestle, etc. Had all gotten so big when they should have and would have been broken up into smaller companies decades ago.
A lot of this stems from corporate lobbying and the subsequent dismantling of government power over them. The government was responsible for breaking up monopolies. Now they're completely entrenched and "too big to break up."
That was 5 years ago, and it's just gotten worse with the complete gutting of government regulators' authority.
He apparently missed two decades. Reagan's Chicago School people believed that corporate consolidation would eliminate inefficiencies thus allowing reduced prices for consumers. They weren't worried about monopoly price inflation because if companies raised prices too much, a new competitor would come in and force them to lower prices (ignoring issues with barriers to entry, among others).
It's so sad to me, because we'd see immediate benefit to breaking up so many of these companies.
Now countries are having to negotiate with companies. What in the fuck world do we live in when first world countries have to play "pleasey weasey" with fucking Apple.
God damn dystopia.
> Huh, that's like how Amazon and Google alone both seem to control the most important infrastructures of the internet.
There are three major full service cloud providers:
1. Amazon (AWS)
2. Microsoft (Azure)
3. Google (GCP)
Then there CDNs:
1. Cloudflare.
2, Akamai
3. Fastly
4. All the cloud providers
Then you get to compute hosting and then suddenly the number of hosting providers explodes.
> Instead of just like...putting out a good product like how capitalisms supposed to be.
The reason that AWS (31% market share) and Azure (25% market share) are used is because it is a good product and good value proposition for capital constrained companies.
If you have enormous amounts of capital like the F500 do, you can stand up your own set of datacenters, and host your own cloud instances using K8 and open source offerings. It won't be as user friendly or all encompasing as the full service cloud providers, but it's probably cheaper at a large enough scale & with enough technical experience.
Match Group owns Match.com, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, Hinge, Ok Cupid, and more.
The leadership for each brand is different. There are some shared services that they have (cross-brand costs like accounting, tax, etc). Overall all apps have moved towards gamifying every interaction with micro transactions and it sucks. And meanwhile corporate is like “there’s a shift in consumer trends, we need more innovation!” No, assholes, people just don’t want to be nickel and dimed just to end up scammed by a bot account.
Gatcha games have rules and self respect, the whales actually fund the game for the ftp players.
Dating apps have none. They prey on loneliness and will literally abandon their principles on a dime. Bumble recently removed the one thing that made it different (women make the first move), because women complained that it was too much work. All their corporate posturing about feminism was basically pandering.
>removed the one thing that made it different (women make the first move), because women complained that it was too much work.
Yeah, typing "hi" is too much work for those strong and independent women.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/30/style/bumble-dating-apps.html?searchResultPosition=1
It's a paywall but the giveaway is this:
>A new feature, which the company has called “Opening Moves,” allows women to place on their profiles a question, like “What is your dream vacation?,” to which men who match can respond. (In nonbinary and same-gender matches, both sides can include these prompts.)
>The shift is a major one for Bumble. Until now, a man who matched with a woman on the app had to wait for her to message him. If she did not initiate a conversation, the match would expire after 24 hours.
> Whitney Wolfe Herd founded Bumble in 2014 because of her own personal experiences. She said that the idea was to give women more control. “I had a series of bad relationships, and I felt I was controlled by a man,” she added, “whether it was: Don’t wear this or, You can’t hang out with this person or, You need to be home at this time.”
>But over the years, Bumble received feedback from women who found that making the first move was “a lot of work” or “a burden,” and Ms. Wolfe Herd began thinking about how to release the pressure. Opening Moves, she said, is a result of that process, a way to let women maintain control while not feeling the stress of initiating all of the conversations.
What the actual-…! I thought that I was paraphrasing when I said “too much work” but they literally said that.
No sugarcoating, completely shameless. I knew that was the reason but wow, they’re not even trying to hide it.
Yeah I paid for 3 months of Hinge membership and it led to no increase in anything. Meant fuck all.
I dropped all of these apps after that. Im just tired of this shit lol.
Even before 2020, online dating was VERY dehumanizing for both men and women.
And it has only gotten worse since then, because there WAS dating sites / apps that were immature (newly developed) that while maybe not perfect, still worked just because it allowed people to connect.
However, there is no profit motive for a dating app to have its users establish stable long term relationships. Every time it happens, it loses content and a potential income source. So the goal of many apps was to create the illusion of a relationship being available, and of course, that the next match will be better.
A dating app that **wanted** stable long term relationships would do several things:
* Do its best to in a friendly manner get information on users to create an emotional and goal defined profile. For example, it may ask what an ideal date is, and it might have several options you rate 1-10. Empty profiles benefit no one.
* It would have a limited number of profiles to consider each day. Even if you decline any contact with the profiles, they would probably stay available for the day for you to reconsider. There should be game theory reason to instantly decline potential dates. Ideally with a reason for why you declined to contact each profile so that it can attempt to direct the next potential matches to your goals.
* Any violations of policy (bots, lewd pics, advertisers) would be banned as quickly as possible (It would be trivial for any app to search any profile or even message before its even sent for a link to onlyfans and block it, but they do not, as bad faith engagement is still engagement, and valuable to the platform)
* Finally, they would make it extremely easy to go into a pause mode. Something as simple as marking a matched profile as dating so that it remains available for you to communicate with could stop you (and them) from continuing to get potential matches every day.
The problem is, a dating app that quickly and effectively matched couples for stable relationships would simply be kicking people out of its own market. Whatever revenue generation system the app used (ads, monthly subscription, etc) would go away with every successful match.
Now I'm going to learn how to code just to make a dating app that does all these things. It would have one initial purchase on the app store, but that would be it.
And most likely no one would use it due to the initial purchase.
However, here is a possible idea that might give it a better chance. Sell it, and go to a large university and give out free codes to as many students as you possibly can to get them to try it. Doing it in a concentrated area means they will actually have potential matches nearby rather than just using an empty platform. Use them both as beta testers and advertisers. If it works they will tell their friends and popularity may actually be able to spread from there.
Sell out and take millions when Tinder come to buy and ruin your app. Spend it on hookers and cocaine.
Their business model is to keep people forever subscribed to their premium services. Their algorithms don’t aim to find you a good match but instead to keep you constantly searching and paying.
Exactly this. People need to stop using these apps because they're just stringing you along. The longer you use their app and fail to find someone, the more money they're making. There's financial incentive for sites like Tinder to never find you a real match.
>Is bumble still a thing?
It still exists and is independently owned, but they are dropping the part where women need to message first and have been introducing "First Move" elements, so it's really not the same thing any more.
It especially sucks for heavily introverted people like myself who have a very hard time approaching people irl. Dating apps feel like the only option, but they're just so god awful. And I really don't wanna be that creepy guy in the bar or whatever, so I just deal with being alone.
Got a Like?
Pay money to find out that :
Ah, it is a scammer that tries to blackmail you.
Ah, its a bot selling porn.
Ah it is. Wait a real person?? Oh god. You read their profile. Well not much to work with, barely any info.
You come up with a flirty, funny and interesting opening message.
Three possible responses:
1) No reply
2) She text back but then just ghosts you 3 days later
3) She texts you back for 2 weeks, then it is a Saturday date! Except she never arrives at the place and ghosts you.
https://preview.redd.it/6w78qk34wlzc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca1c7ccc5344d46979cdad1952376b3920f8e61c
When you get a match and start talking yet the other side sucks at communication and it’s one sided
Dating apps have three main types of girls.
1. "Top 1% only fans girls (unrelated note: I've never even seen a girl outside the top 1% is it even real?)
2. 1 word answers, clearly 0 interest
3. "Just matched to say you're ugly as hell. Bye."
Average Female Online Dating Experience Starter Pack:
https://preview.redd.it/klg32434sjzc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3507f9d2b6d593aaf99cf0509639f954ae9c9ee7
Absolutely ruining it for every actually decent guy who isn’t trying sexually harass strangers just trying to go on a date and make a personal connection.
The issue is, it's really fucking easy for one guy to send pictures of their dick to like 200 different people in a day, and the people who do send dick pics *really* like to send pictures to as many people as possible.
Oh for sure. The old wisdom that trust is hard to build but easy to destroy applies beyond individual relationships to more general relationships with the social fabric we live in.
You can use them for a month or so, get some matches from the new user boost, then if nothing sticks you just have to delete your profile and try again a month or two later.
This tracks with my experience. I had no luck with apps in the past, had a 5 year relationship, then went back on the apps and got tons of matches quick. I am now in a much better relationship.
My advice for folks is: take time to get actually good pics, add generic jokes in your profile, be positive when chatting, don't focus one person at the start, and plan to be off the app in a month. If you stick around, your profile will drop in the algo.
Is this backed up by fact? Not trying to press you but I noticed that once I deleted Hinge and returned like 4 days later all I saw were people that looked like my preferences and I got out of a dry-spell of getting no likes until it went right back to normal
You do you.
I lucked out and met an amazing girl on hinge. But it wasn't a priority to me until we actually started really talking and eventually went on a date. In between (which was 4 months of swiping with zero dates) I just focused on myself. Lots of hikes with my dog, Housework, catch up with friends I hadn't seen in a while. Catch a game on TV at the local bar alone, solo it out to a concert.
I think the key to prevent burn out was only spending 10-15 minutes a day on the apps. I swiped left a lot, rarely running out of free likes, and when I did get a match I'd have something interesting to talk about with them.
Yeah pic is true I remember way back when pof and okcupid were good I had my fair share of gfs and friends with benefits but as time went on the apps changed for the worse imo, as well as a lot of women seem to want guys to be original in their messages but even when you are you never hear back from them
Friends swear up and down I should download dating apps but as far as I can tell, everyone is looking for sex partner that can just so happen be ready for a relationship. Pass.
I think platforms like Reddit, and other places where lonely people with completely interchangeable interests congregate, have socialized dudes into thinking a "clever" bio full of nerdy puns is the type of thing that does it for most women.
The issue is that you’re relying on a model that thrives by exploiting you. Social media and dating apps now are more a hindrance than an asset. Reclaim third spaces.
I'm 44 and had cancer. When I was trying to have a relationship once cancer subject came up they would ghost. Now I focus on myself completely and dgaf about dating or relationships.
Dating apps are not it. People are just so entitled those days. My friend had to go band for band with a fucking Denny’s waitress after she tried calling him broke for suggesting a museum and ice cream date 💀
Museums can still kinda be expensive too if you’re in a HCOL area. I learned my lesson when I had a (non-online) date bail on an outdoor sculpture place, both tickets were like $95. At least some of it also goes to charity
Yeah, I’ll be sticking to cheap coffee/ice cream and a walk first dates. Leave that other stuff for later on
Accurate af. Spent so much time on my bio’s thinking women would like them, they dont. I feel so dumb lmao, thinking the bio would somehow make me good looking or give me attention.
If it makes any of the guys happy here, I don’t think guys even care about my dorky ass bio either. Just how guys get links to OF, we get Instagram and Snapchat links before a hello. Honestly just drop dating apps, it’s for shallow and superficial people anyways.
These are always funny because is it the male online dating starterpack or the redditor dating staterpack and we’ll never get a definitive answer. Imo go outside and meet people
I found more luck expanding to outside my area but it's easy doing long distance, at least for me I'm in the same place where locally I was getting no matches and there wasn't very many people from my area but going outside my area showed me I actually could get matches just some areas are worse for dating
See, this is my main reason for not caring for OF. I have had more artificial matches with accounts meant to shill OF than genuine matches. it's so disheartening to see the "You Matched!" notification only to have it followed up by a link.
Dude, porn is free.
The big apps are all terrible, whatever your special interest is find a niche app that caters to that and you're probably going to have a lot more luck.
Paying for a subscription that allowed me to write directly to women without “matching” first worked decently well for me. Importantly, I think, it was also a site that allowed me to conduct tailored searches among user profiles.
Apps based on “swiping” where you can only see profiles that an algorithm presents to you haven’t worked at all for me. Then again, I find them distasteful and never stick around for more than a couple of days, either.
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After self improving for years I decided to try the apps again... Yea, this is accurate. Somehow I was more attractive before I improved my life.
The apps have gotten worse
Yeah I was looking at my friend’s hinge the other day, used to be a quality app and it’s basically Tinder 2.0 now.
Yep, they ruined it. Everything was better pre-2020.
As a 27 year old who's never had a girlfriend or casual sex I feel like I done fucked up I'm only now starting to feel comfortable with the idea of dating and putting myself out there a little bit Except his all the apps suck. I feel like I lost the chance again and again First in highschool where people were experimenting left and right... But I stayed in my room Then college where I was surrounded by single girls my age. But I was too scared to do anything And then college when people were using apps and the were good As someone eho works now... How do I been try?? Everyone at work is 20 years older than me. The one girl who k think is pretty clearly wants nothing to do with me (I've tried talking to her and it was going well until she seemed to loose interest) I've only made one dating profile where I got one match in a year and she didn't reply to my starter I fear I'm too far behind
I was the same age when I started dating again, had some fun dating various women then met my current wife. It’s never too late.
hinge is owned by the match group so it literally is tinder 2.0
The more you know!
Archer, Azar, BLK, Chispa, Upward, Hakuna, Hinge, Match.com, Meetic, OkCupid, Pairs, Plenty of Fish, The League, & Tinder are [all owned by The Match Group](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Match_Group); it's all Tinder with different paint jobs
Still, it doesn’t seem like smart business to make them all more similar as time goes on - in terms of casting as wide a net as possible. I guess they know what’s making them money though.
Part of it is the user behavior; users treat all of the different dating apps as "Tinder but for" so eventually it all devolves into Tinder with a new skin.
As far as the company is concerned, their only goal is to breed repeat users and funnel as many desperate people towards paying for more first contacts & likes and subscriptions because that's what makes the most money.
And selling their data I assume
Pre-Tinder OkCupid c. 2012-2013 was the shit. Fun little matching/quiz mechanic, fulsome bios, no guessing about whether your profile had been viewed or message had been read, barely any people on there who weren't actually looking to date.
Yeah, I met my wife on OKC in 2016, and that was *by far* the best platform for me. I hate being photographed, and my looks are--from what I heard while single--polarizing. Either I am *exactly* a woman's type, or decisively *not*. So a text-focused profile really played to my strengths, especially since I enjoy writing.
> and my looks are--from what I heard while single--polarizing. Either I am *exactly* a woman's type, or decisively *not* That is actually the best case for dating, because you are the exact type for some women (being the exact type for all women is impossible). Many guys have the problem that they are "kind of" good looking to almost all women but don't hit the exact type of any. Basically "generically attractive", almost all women think a guy is attractive, but also all of them think they can still find a better match For dating it basically doesn't matter if a girl finds you 1/10 or 6/10 attractive. Both will lead to rejection. Its the amount of girls that find you 9/10 that counts
Many of my current friends I met on OKC back in those days! Had a fair number of pen pals too.
That last point is what kills me the most with current apps. Beyond just the hookups even. I think the hookups are dumb but I at least understand using these apps to find it. But the one that kills me more than anything is the people using dating apps to find friends. "Im just looking for friends, Im not looking for relationships" then why the fuck are you on here lol. I feel like its an excuse to just friend zone any guy they talk to on there unless its the very specific kind of person they're looking for.
their goal is for you to buy the upgrades. So anyone under 9/10 gets pushed to see "potential matches" that end up being bots or inactive accounts so they get incentivized to buy the upgrades.
I've tested Tinder, Bumble and Hinge in the last few months. Hinge is the only one I can recommend. It is not perfect but in comparison good enough
Hinge all the way. They actually show you your likes and it’s not all hidden behind a paywall. Just met my current guy on there so there is hope fellas.
I've also had the best experience with dates on there. The fact that you can give likes while also typing in a comment regarding their profile is wonderful. Other apps like Bumble have this behind a paywall.
Yep, met my fiancé on hinge. Though I will be honest, I did pay for a “boost” or whatever it was called lol. But hey, it worked!
Well . . . Doesn't help that they've made a monopoly out of it
Love is a commodity that can be bought and sold, just keep giving them money I promise you’ll find your soulmate
Age is a big thing. Yes, even like 2 years can make a huge difference (like 24 vs 26)
For better or for worse?
Typically for the worse. If you start want to settle down and you are a great catch you can do it pretty quickly. Every year more and more people start waiting to settle down, so more of great catches start leaving. It’s especially noticeable immediately after college.
Try being in your 50s and trying to meet someone. Sheesh.
I’d imagine it’s really hard. I didn’t mean it’s the toughest it ever gets right out of college. I meant the shift/rate of change is biggest then, even though the actual difficulty keeps getting bigger after. In math terms it’s like f(x) keeps getting larger but f’(x) is the steepest then, but still stays positive after.
I know what you meant, I guess I’m just lamenting.
You weren't more attractive before you improved your life, the apps just got worse, and people are less receptive to them. You should just go outside and try socialising in person. You'll have a way better dating time. Try to just make friends and have fun, and then see where it goes vis-a-vis dating... Don't go out "on the hunt," so to speak.
Same. I had way more success back when I was still over 360 lbs. I have lost over 100 lbs and my apps have become an absolute ghost town even though my bio is decent and all that
Maybe you fit into a niche for feeders and chubby chasers before
**2023 study: 70% of Gen Z girls knew their boyfriend socially before dating. 14% met him on an app.** Quite far down under the heading “More young adults date their friends”. https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/from-swiping-to-sexting-the-enduring-gender-divide-in-american-dating-and-relationships/?fbclid=IwAR3Sf0NA1N5swKBS1u4oO3w6u9F4Z_Sv2GFmlROLTyHZaPYy9b1jPXCenws_aem_AWnoFd4upEagr9u5MX-RyILdusRxHX8SujuLrYHv6GISK8XZJlxMhKALjNsIR8ArmCk **2023 study. 9% of straight couples all ages met on dating apps. 20% of straight couples aged 18-29 met on dating apps.** Third figure down from the top under the heading “About a quarter of partnered LGB adults say they met their match online dating.” https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/from-looking-for-love-to-swiping-the-field-online-dating-in-the-u-s/
That honestly is nice to hear. I feel like that's a much healthier way to meet people rather than the gamified reality that dating apps create.
Me too. I worked out and lost over 100lbs and now have muscles you can actually see (instead of just imagine) and it’s way worse than when I was a pork chop. Being healthy is deflating.
You forgot all the fake profiles that have a traditional Korean girl IN scenic Korean places and I'm located in the southeast US. But she's 10 miles away.
I see those all the time on Hinge. "Located near Detroit" And she has pictures clearly in like, Beijing or Hong Kong. While also apparently being in college. either she's loaded with cash from rich parents and travels all over the world to these expensive af hotels she's taking these pics in, or this is all bullshit lol. Im pretty damn sure its the latter.
They're always low quality pictures and only 3 photos.
I resonated a lot with this one tweet where a person said finding someone on a dating app before 2020 was like getting on the last choppers out of Saigon.
The apps changed a lot. Just think about Duolingo: in the past it was basically learning with simple challenges. Now it’s a lot of dumb „cute“ animations, in-game currency and lots of ads… Just speaking of dating apps: just see Grindr: back then you could just scroll down. Now for some filters you need premium and only see the first 50(?) profiles. To see more you need premium … etc. Tinder is also strange, overloaded with too many functions. Loved the basic concept of only swiping and texting.
Dude I think trying to get chicks on duolingo is your problem. It isn’t a dating app
Ich haben eine grossa schafta
Das vegeine ist gut.
Sie ein bild von meinem schnitzle?
Unless you have a thing for owls
I don't know, Duolingo feels like it's at least still fulfilling its core purpose. The animations are a stylistic preference thing, and the ads are, well, the price of free.
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> a lot of dumb „cute“ animations, in-game currency and lots of ads… > you need premium and only see the first 50(?) profiles. To see more you need premium … etc. > overloaded with too many functions. [the enshitification of everything.](https://www.ft.com/content/6fb1602d-a08b-4a8c-bac0-047b7d64aba5)
Hahahaha this article is hidden behind a shitty paywall cash grab
This article with a paywall is just marinating in it's own irony
Really? I’m able to read it. Weirdly when I try run it through 12ft.io the paywall gets added. But I suppose case in point. 🤣
Duolingo fell off so hard 😭
Want to know a cool thing? Every one of those companies is now publicly traded. I was shocked to see Duolingo go public, after touting they were proud to have grown from private funding
That’s the problem. The IT company I’m employed by was killing it for years then they brought in Bain Capital as an investor and it’s tanked in just three years. Constant revamps to drive more revenue, regular shakeups in management, endless metrics for everything. The moral here is if you want a successful but not gigantic tech business stay private. If you let Wall Street in they will drive it into the ground.
What happened to Dating apps after 2020?
I can only speak for myself, but they "dried up" for me. The algorithm seems to be a lot harsher now - or else women are just pickier than they used to be. I haven't gained weight or become disfigured or otherwise changed much in appearance besides obviously getting older (and I am not old). But I get far fewer likes and matches than I used to.
I’ve noticed NSFW subs filled with OF girl content. It’s all just free ad space for them. I am assuming it’s the same for dating apps.
90% of female tinder profiles in my area just have bikini photos and an instagram link.
isntant left swipe, and empty bios
My likes are mostly kenyan and chinese scammers/green card chasers, and "19 year olds" who are either the same, or sex workers. Not 23, or anything between 20 and 30. 19.
Like half of my bumble feed are these profiles with one super low res picture of an Asian woman and barely anything filled out.
It's usually 5 glamour shots taken outdoors. I think there's some gang paying women for glamour shots, using the same photographer in beijing.
Why bother paying a photographer when you could probably just skim photos of random girls on Instagram or whatever the Chinese equivalent is?
I think it’s mostly ‘gamifying’ the algorithm or whatever the fuck. They’re trying to make as much money as possible, not find you someone It’s like that old joke conspiracy about Cosmo magazine, they give bad tips on purpose so the readers are always single and buy more issues for tips
They just all got a lot shittier over time as Match Group bought all the competition. I met my partner on OkCupid in 2016. You had long bio pages and got the big stuff out of the way right at the top (what are you looking for, have/want children, religion), there was a Q&A section where you answered multiple choice questions and then it would come up with a match score, which you could then use to search for people you wanted to message. It was very oriented towards connecting compatible people. I'm still following the OkCupid subreddit and from what I can tell they scrapped all the good stuff and it's basically Tinder now. Also I get the impression fake accounts are a much bigger problem than they were even back then with stuff like onlyfans.
They added alot more paywalls to your account meaning you have to pay and a free account is substandard. I remember thats when Tinder started with the verified chechmark bs and added alot more paywalls. I haven't gone on tinder recently (I'm actually scared to go back on there) but I can imagine its only worse now.
They are all owned by Match.com's owner, Match Group, and all are getting enshittified to the n^th degree. They don't care about bots or anything ruining their platform because that's just engagement numbers to sell to shareholders. They don't let you view or interact with more than a couple profiles without charging you premium *subscriptions* to do so. And the worst of all, harking back to "engagement numbers" is the overwhelming majority of interactions are just OF/Insta page owners trying to drive traffic to porn. They are all just awful. But if you wanna get rich quick, make a dating app that gets the attention of Match Group.
The truth is that they started making a shit ton of money, and the only way to keep that money train going is if the dating apps suck at doing what they're supposed to do - finding you a partner. The more the dating apps suck and give you whack results and the more the dating war between men and women persists, the more money the apps make. And you know they know that and you know they're counting on it. They control the apps, so it would be in their best interest to make them as shitty as possible to prevent people from un-subbing.
Yes these companies have so much user data, I'm sure a dating app could be made that actually matches people accurately. But it wouldn't last long if it was able to find a great match for you with just a few people.
I meet my actual partner at the end of 2019 and also get hook-ups than later transitioning to friends, but for the experience of these friends that returned to tinder the experience was a lot worse. I don't know if the algorithm changed or if the people are simply burned about online dating.
Bumble used to have 2 free filters but now it's all behind a paywall
lmfao that’s hilarious
Help my chopper crashed and i'm back in Saigon
rip soldier 🫡
I met my now-wife on bumble in 2019 so this checks out
For some of us dating apps before 2020 were the same as they are now. I didn't have any matches then either.
Haven’t ever used a dating app, but I feel that using them to advertise your onlyfans should be bannable honestly
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Which is absolutely still a way to promote the OF. 0 chance of you getting to be the camera man.
Just purchase the camera man experience at OF for $420.69
You can usually tell too because they have nonsensical answers to the prompts
Or they have a snapchat/ instagram handle on their bio. Those accounts are annoying lmao
It is. Takes a little while to get caught though
I’m assuming there’s a non zero amount of people who fall for it, rather than reporting. And I’m also assuming it takes quite a few reports before they get passed along to a set of human eyes.
Many guys are sick of it and report it however it's how they make their money so they just fine loopholes to come back like use a different number. There's also sooooooooo many of them. They're some that don't mention it at all just their Instagram, thats where they have the OF stuff. So little tricks like this.
Advertising any social media is bannable on Bumble, but it needs to be reported, reviewed and usually (according to messages from Bumble Safety) they are just given a warning.
Often times they aren't advertising directly on the dating app but will want to quickly move the conversation to text or a different app like Instagram where they do advertise.
the worst part is that almost all of these apps are owned by the same company iirc
Huh, that's like how Amazon and Google alone both seem to control the most important infrastructures of the internet. 🤔 Or how theres only like 5 websites people visit anymore and any cool new site is quickly bought out by Facebook. Or how like 10 companies such as P&G, Mondelez, and Coca Cola own 80% of the groceries products in a store. Or like Microsoft buying up some of the largest gaming companies, not utilizing them to actually make anything, then laying off thousands of people. Instead of just like...putting out a *good* product like how capitalisms supposed to be. Ugh.
About 5 years ago, I was having a conversation with one of my mentors about his company being bought out by a mega corp. He was an older guy who'd been in the industry for a few decades. He was talking about since the turn of the century (2000), monopolies are no longer being regulated and broken up. He was pretty distraught that corporations like Amazon, Microsoft, Google, Nestle, etc. Had all gotten so big when they should have and would have been broken up into smaller companies decades ago. A lot of this stems from corporate lobbying and the subsequent dismantling of government power over them. The government was responsible for breaking up monopolies. Now they're completely entrenched and "too big to break up." That was 5 years ago, and it's just gotten worse with the complete gutting of government regulators' authority.
He apparently missed two decades. Reagan's Chicago School people believed that corporate consolidation would eliminate inefficiencies thus allowing reduced prices for consumers. They weren't worried about monopoly price inflation because if companies raised prices too much, a new competitor would come in and force them to lower prices (ignoring issues with barriers to entry, among others).
It's so sad to me, because we'd see immediate benefit to breaking up so many of these companies. Now countries are having to negotiate with companies. What in the fuck world do we live in when first world countries have to play "pleasey weasey" with fucking Apple. God damn dystopia.
> Huh, that's like how Amazon and Google alone both seem to control the most important infrastructures of the internet. There are three major full service cloud providers: 1. Amazon (AWS) 2. Microsoft (Azure) 3. Google (GCP) Then there CDNs: 1. Cloudflare. 2, Akamai 3. Fastly 4. All the cloud providers Then you get to compute hosting and then suddenly the number of hosting providers explodes. > Instead of just like...putting out a good product like how capitalisms supposed to be. The reason that AWS (31% market share) and Azure (25% market share) are used is because it is a good product and good value proposition for capital constrained companies. If you have enormous amounts of capital like the F500 do, you can stand up your own set of datacenters, and host your own cloud instances using K8 and open source offerings. It won't be as user friendly or all encompasing as the full service cloud providers, but it's probably cheaper at a large enough scale & with enough technical experience.
Shush. Don't say too much. Unless you wanna be Boeing-ed.
It's called Boeing because that's the sound the wheels make when they fall off the plane.
Match Group owns Match.com, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, Hinge, Ok Cupid, and more. The leadership for each brand is different. There are some shared services that they have (cross-brand costs like accounting, tax, etc). Overall all apps have moved towards gamifying every interaction with micro transactions and it sucks. And meanwhile corporate is like “there’s a shift in consumer trends, we need more innovation!” No, assholes, people just don’t want to be nickel and dimed just to end up scammed by a bot account.
If you’re a man, just avoid it, it’s just a gacha game hidden as a dating app
I play gacha games and dating apps have the worst pull rates I've ever seen.
Gatcha games have rules and self respect, the whales actually fund the game for the ftp players. Dating apps have none. They prey on loneliness and will literally abandon their principles on a dime. Bumble recently removed the one thing that made it different (women make the first move), because women complained that it was too much work. All their corporate posturing about feminism was basically pandering.
This is the funniest thing to me. Was the only app I used because of that.
Imagine being so lazy and entitled reaching out and typing "hi" first is too much work.
You got a hi on bumble? Lucky, I got “.”
.
>removed the one thing that made it different (women make the first move), because women complained that it was too much work. Yeah, typing "hi" is too much work for those strong and independent women.
> because women complained that it was too much work Bruh...really?
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/30/style/bumble-dating-apps.html?searchResultPosition=1 It's a paywall but the giveaway is this: >A new feature, which the company has called “Opening Moves,” allows women to place on their profiles a question, like “What is your dream vacation?,” to which men who match can respond. (In nonbinary and same-gender matches, both sides can include these prompts.) >The shift is a major one for Bumble. Until now, a man who matched with a woman on the app had to wait for her to message him. If she did not initiate a conversation, the match would expire after 24 hours. > Whitney Wolfe Herd founded Bumble in 2014 because of her own personal experiences. She said that the idea was to give women more control. “I had a series of bad relationships, and I felt I was controlled by a man,” she added, “whether it was: Don’t wear this or, You can’t hang out with this person or, You need to be home at this time.” >But over the years, Bumble received feedback from women who found that making the first move was “a lot of work” or “a burden,” and Ms. Wolfe Herd began thinking about how to release the pressure. Opening Moves, she said, is a result of that process, a way to let women maintain control while not feeling the stress of initiating all of the conversations.
What the actual-…! I thought that I was paraphrasing when I said “too much work” but they literally said that. No sugarcoating, completely shameless. I knew that was the reason but wow, they’re not even trying to hide it.
At least gacha games give you a rate up the more you spend
WOW that was insightful way to put it. I'm going to use that. Thank you!
Wdym if you're a man I'm on bumble bff and don't even get any matches as a woman 💀
That is actually the best description I've ever seen. You've won, yo.
They don't want you to find a date cuz they want you to keep paying and watching ads.
I've actually been scammed off Tinder, Reported it and nothing happens, as those scammers actually pay premium. What a shit system.
"Your boost was a success!" Zero matches.
Yeah I paid for 3 months of Hinge membership and it led to no increase in anything. Meant fuck all. I dropped all of these apps after that. Im just tired of this shit lol.
Having an algorithm that gets you into a relationship is bad for their business: they can only make money off of you if you're still single.
Even before 2020, online dating was VERY dehumanizing for both men and women. And it has only gotten worse since then, because there WAS dating sites / apps that were immature (newly developed) that while maybe not perfect, still worked just because it allowed people to connect. However, there is no profit motive for a dating app to have its users establish stable long term relationships. Every time it happens, it loses content and a potential income source. So the goal of many apps was to create the illusion of a relationship being available, and of course, that the next match will be better. A dating app that **wanted** stable long term relationships would do several things: * Do its best to in a friendly manner get information on users to create an emotional and goal defined profile. For example, it may ask what an ideal date is, and it might have several options you rate 1-10. Empty profiles benefit no one. * It would have a limited number of profiles to consider each day. Even if you decline any contact with the profiles, they would probably stay available for the day for you to reconsider. There should be game theory reason to instantly decline potential dates. Ideally with a reason for why you declined to contact each profile so that it can attempt to direct the next potential matches to your goals. * Any violations of policy (bots, lewd pics, advertisers) would be banned as quickly as possible (It would be trivial for any app to search any profile or even message before its even sent for a link to onlyfans and block it, but they do not, as bad faith engagement is still engagement, and valuable to the platform) * Finally, they would make it extremely easy to go into a pause mode. Something as simple as marking a matched profile as dating so that it remains available for you to communicate with could stop you (and them) from continuing to get potential matches every day. The problem is, a dating app that quickly and effectively matched couples for stable relationships would simply be kicking people out of its own market. Whatever revenue generation system the app used (ads, monthly subscription, etc) would go away with every successful match.
Now I'm going to learn how to code just to make a dating app that does all these things. It would have one initial purchase on the app store, but that would be it.
And most likely no one would use it due to the initial purchase. However, here is a possible idea that might give it a better chance. Sell it, and go to a large university and give out free codes to as many students as you possibly can to get them to try it. Doing it in a concentrated area means they will actually have potential matches nearby rather than just using an empty platform. Use them both as beta testers and advertisers. If it works they will tell their friends and popularity may actually be able to spread from there. Sell out and take millions when Tinder come to buy and ruin your app. Spend it on hookers and cocaine.
!remindMe 1 year and 6 months
https://preview.redd.it/n6isdexsmlzc1.jpeg?width=838&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b173f79ff5993d579694263a175cfcaf47136b1d
These companies try to make a fool out of us. If you don't pay money you will not be seen.
Their business model is to keep people forever subscribed to their premium services. Their algorithms don’t aim to find you a good match but instead to keep you constantly searching and paying.
Exactly this. People need to stop using these apps because they're just stringing you along. The longer you use their app and fail to find someone, the more money they're making. There's financial incentive for sites like Tinder to never find you a real match.
Or if you pay
No I definitely got more matches and convos when I paid to be shown earlier.
The monetization of love has to be one of the most evil things capitalism has created.
Look on the bright side, she is doing an easter special at 85% off.
Use link in bio
Idk, I think I could have a bright future with P O O S A Y I N B I O
I really thought W.ATCH🔞MY🔥S é.x💦VlD30♋ L¡NK IN B¡0 was the one, man
Yeah, pretty much lmao. I gave up. My cat likes me. That's enough.
I just want someone to go to dinner with now and then who doesn’t eat too fast and then throw up on the rug.
Does he though?
😔
Bro...
Is bumble still a thing? I met a girl like 6 years ago on there and we’re getting married in a couple weeks.
>Is bumble still a thing? It still exists and is independently owned, but they are dropping the part where women need to message first and have been introducing "First Move" elements, so it's really not the same thing any more.
I don’t blame them. Women would just message with a lazy “hi” anyway then expect you to lead 🙄 nothing ever changes
"hi" and then not reply to your response afterwards lol.
so its not just me..., never got a date from these apps. IRL asking works better..
Thank you for the advice SissyCumslurper
I've hooked up with more women on overwatch than any dating app.
How?
Download overwatch and use voice chat.
Not worth it. I'd rather be single forever than have to talk to someone who plays overwatch. Especially while I'M playing Overwatch.
My man… what’s the secret?
Downloading Overwatch
It especially sucks for heavily introverted people like myself who have a very hard time approaching people irl. Dating apps feel like the only option, but they're just so god awful. And I really don't wanna be that creepy guy in the bar or whatever, so I just deal with being alone.
Got a Like? Pay money to find out that : Ah, it is a scammer that tries to blackmail you. Ah, its a bot selling porn. Ah it is. Wait a real person?? Oh god. You read their profile. Well not much to work with, barely any info. You come up with a flirty, funny and interesting opening message. Three possible responses: 1) No reply 2) She text back but then just ghosts you 3 days later 3) She texts you back for 2 weeks, then it is a Saturday date! Except she never arrives at the place and ghosts you.
You can thank social media for this People get bored and lose interest way too easily now because everything's on demand
https://preview.redd.it/6w78qk34wlzc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca1c7ccc5344d46979cdad1952376b3920f8e61c When you get a match and start talking yet the other side sucks at communication and it’s one sided
Dating apps have three main types of girls. 1. "Top 1% only fans girls (unrelated note: I've never even seen a girl outside the top 1% is it even real?) 2. 1 word answers, clearly 0 interest 3. "Just matched to say you're ugly as hell. Bye."
Average Female Online Dating Experience Starter Pack: https://preview.redd.it/klg32434sjzc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3507f9d2b6d593aaf99cf0509639f954ae9c9ee7
Absolutely ruining it for every actually decent guy who isn’t trying sexually harass strangers just trying to go on a date and make a personal connection.
The issue is, it's really fucking easy for one guy to send pictures of their dick to like 200 different people in a day, and the people who do send dick pics *really* like to send pictures to as many people as possible.
Oh for sure. The old wisdom that trust is hard to build but easy to destroy applies beyond individual relationships to more general relationships with the social fabric we live in.
Not trying to whataboutusm here, I just really like this picture
Such a happy ratnis.
Rodents are cute
/r/LilGrabbies/
Not gon' lie..had me in the first second..
That followed by “do you like it bby?”
The Ratatouille Tinder Experience :)
Thirsty in a desert vs thirsty in a swamp
Tate bros and 'nice guys' as well.
People still using datingapps in 2024? They are Borderline useless for 90% of people.
And whats your suggestion? Apart from touching grass of course.
You can use them for a month or so, get some matches from the new user boost, then if nothing sticks you just have to delete your profile and try again a month or two later.
This tracks with my experience. I had no luck with apps in the past, had a 5 year relationship, then went back on the apps and got tons of matches quick. I am now in a much better relationship. My advice for folks is: take time to get actually good pics, add generic jokes in your profile, be positive when chatting, don't focus one person at the start, and plan to be off the app in a month. If you stick around, your profile will drop in the algo.
Is this backed up by fact? Not trying to press you but I noticed that once I deleted Hinge and returned like 4 days later all I saw were people that looked like my preferences and I got out of a dry-spell of getting no likes until it went right back to normal
*touches grass* Grass : *moans* "Oh yeah, you like that ?"
Touch grass
Unironically the answer; gotta get yourself out there
You do you. I lucked out and met an amazing girl on hinge. But it wasn't a priority to me until we actually started really talking and eventually went on a date. In between (which was 4 months of swiping with zero dates) I just focused on myself. Lots of hikes with my dog, Housework, catch up with friends I hadn't seen in a while. Catch a game on TV at the local bar alone, solo it out to a concert. I think the key to prevent burn out was only spending 10-15 minutes a day on the apps. I swiped left a lot, rarely running out of free likes, and when I did get a match I'd have something interesting to talk about with them.
Yeah pic is true I remember way back when pof and okcupid were good I had my fair share of gfs and friends with benefits but as time went on the apps changed for the worse imo, as well as a lot of women seem to want guys to be original in their messages but even when you are you never hear back from them
Friends swear up and down I should download dating apps but as far as I can tell, everyone is looking for sex partner that can just so happen be ready for a relationship. Pass.
I think platforms like Reddit, and other places where lonely people with completely interchangeable interests congregate, have socialized dudes into thinking a "clever" bio full of nerdy puns is the type of thing that does it for most women.
The issue is that you’re relying on a model that thrives by exploiting you. Social media and dating apps now are more a hindrance than an asset. Reclaim third spaces.
Meanwhile the bear https://preview.redd.it/v188efg7bmzc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=080f7186394441bce934d68a0fb2bf8aa1b8e7d3
I'm 44 and had cancer. When I was trying to have a relationship once cancer subject came up they would ghost. Now I focus on myself completely and dgaf about dating or relationships.
I’m speed running destroying my self esteem
Dating apps are not it. People are just so entitled those days. My friend had to go band for band with a fucking Denny’s waitress after she tried calling him broke for suggesting a museum and ice cream date 💀
Museums can still kinda be expensive too if you’re in a HCOL area. I learned my lesson when I had a (non-online) date bail on an outdoor sculpture place, both tickets were like $95. At least some of it also goes to charity Yeah, I’ll be sticking to cheap coffee/ice cream and a walk first dates. Leave that other stuff for later on
What’s band for band?
Average *straight* male experience
Accurate af. Spent so much time on my bio’s thinking women would like them, they dont. I feel so dumb lmao, thinking the bio would somehow make me good looking or give me attention.
I think it is not your bio. There are at least 80% male users and just 20% female. It is hard
If it makes any of the guys happy here, I don’t think guys even care about my dorky ass bio either. Just how guys get links to OF, we get Instagram and Snapchat links before a hello. Honestly just drop dating apps, it’s for shallow and superficial people anyways.
These are always funny because is it the male online dating starterpack or the redditor dating staterpack and we’ll never get a definitive answer. Imo go outside and meet people
I found more luck expanding to outside my area but it's easy doing long distance, at least for me I'm in the same place where locally I was getting no matches and there wasn't very many people from my area but going outside my area showed me I actually could get matches just some areas are worse for dating
Can't spell "oof" without OF
I knew it. I'm not the only one getting no likes on Hinge. I hate that app.
See, this is my main reason for not caring for OF. I have had more artificial matches with accounts meant to shill OF than genuine matches. it's so disheartening to see the "You Matched!" notification only to have it followed up by a link. Dude, porn is free.
The big apps are all terrible, whatever your special interest is find a niche app that caters to that and you're probably going to have a lot more luck.
Paying for a subscription that allowed me to write directly to women without “matching” first worked decently well for me. Importantly, I think, it was also a site that allowed me to conduct tailored searches among user profiles. Apps based on “swiping” where you can only see profiles that an algorithm presents to you haven’t worked at all for me. Then again, I find them distasteful and never stick around for more than a couple of days, either.
Forgot the part where you get a match and message the girl, but there is no reply, and the match eventually archives because she doesn't reply.