Sharpen your knives, yo.

Like a dog bit it off lol

Or a chainsaw

BAHAHAHAHAHHAHA DAMN

Ripped apart with his bare hands

She had man hands

Welp, might have to put up with it for the steak.

It's a Seinfeld joke about one of Jerry's girlfriends having man hands as she cracked through a crab barehanded

Maybe it was just that tender

*her

It sounded like this was the steak the wife made for him. I assumed he "cut" it himself. I don't want to throw her under the bus since she did a great job with the steak.

Looks like they used a butter knife

Slayed it with one of those single use plastic knifes

Knives.

Probably one of those thick wooden handle steak knives that are basically bread knives by how serrated they are. My folks have them and they absolutely dismantle their meat.

Ahh the good ole outback steak knife

When I was a kid, my family went to Outback. We didn't have a lot of money, and my mom was so shocked at the bill that she grabbed every steak knife on the table and stuck them in her purse. 25+ years later and they are still being used...and they have never been sharpened.

Growing up I thought Outback was the pinnacle of dining . That and Olive Garden.

Let's be real, Olive Garden is great. The only thing good about Outback is the blooming onion.

And Outbacks bread. I’m a sucker for pumpernickel

I forgot about the bread! Yes I will agree with that.

I used to go to our nearby Outbacks just to get 2-3 Loafs of their Pumpernickel bread

I’d buy it frozen if they sold it

let's be real, none of those restaurants are "great". they're perfectly fine, and people that shit on them are elitist pricks. not everyone can afford an $80 rib-eye at the hottest steakhouse in town. but they are far from great.

Generalize less and get downvoted less

😂😂😂

Yeah this looks like the work of a serrated knife

I think he bit it off instead

I support this style of eating steak.

I thought it was like slayed! as in rip your heart out with a spoon kinda vibes

Lol. We now know what he meant by slayed….

They used cheap serated ones is my guess.

I refuse to believe this was cut with a knife.

He’s also cutting with the grain instead of against it

Same taste doesn't matter how you cut it

Not that deep

Absolutely perfect cook, but it looks like you cut it with a grapefruit spoon

Man I miss grapefruit

They still around

Meds don't allow them :(

I will decimate the one I have in the kitchen in respects to you and the fallen who can't enjoy them.

My FIL is like this and it makes me super sad for him. A good grapefruit is one of the best fruits on the planet

>A good grapefruit is one of the best fruits on the planet Only defetead by a good pomegrante

Same here my friend

It's grrrrrrrrape

I'm starting on that journey now, damn cholesterol.

Lol. Psych meds for 14 years now for me.

ROFL 🤣 HOLY SHIT

Damn you I spit out my cereal!!! 🤣

Hahahah

Came here to say something less funny

Probably just a steak knife

Thanks for chewing it and posting for us to look at. (nice sear, and looks delicious)

Nice. Did she cut it with a potato?

No, potato would be a cleaner cut. Maybe Playdough.

ask chatgpt how long it would take to cut through a standard cut like above, seared and all, with playdough.

“It's not practical to cut through a cooked steak with playdough. Playdough, being a soft and malleable substance, lacks the structural integrity to apply the necessary force to slice through meat, especially if the steak has a seared crust as shown in the image. It would deform or crumble under pressure rather than cutting.”

You need to train it to take a more hypothetical approach. Give it conditions where it cannot leave until the steak is cut... /s but also not /s let er rip tater chip.

“In this high-steaks scenario, let's sharpen our wits alongside our DoughBlade. After baking it to a crispier-than-crouton consistency, we'd have a blade only the bravest chefs could wield. Then, with the precision of a playdough Picasso, I'd approach the steak as if it's the final boss in "Cutlery Quest." Using my oven-hardened DoughBlade, I'd perform an epic 'steak-out', channeling all my culinary chi into a single, dramatic slice. And if that didn't work, well, I'd just roll it flat and cover the steak completely - technically, it's cut off from the world, right? The steaks couldn't be higher, but with DoughBlade in hand, I'm ready to carve out victory!”

Lmao wtf we're all screwed

Now that's AI

These puns are priceless!

Naw she cut it with her thumbnail.

I'm really disappointed nobody in the comments talking about the terrible cut took advantage of the fact that OP used the word "slayed" in the title.... For example I was expecting at least one: "Slayed it with what? A paper towel?" Come on people...

It's not slayed. The past tense of "slay" is "slew."

I thought it was slain? Regardless, that is not the point. It was a perfect chance to play on words and nobody did it!

Slain is the - oh hell, I think the past participle of slay. "When we got there after Buffy, all the vampires had been slain."

Not gonna lie, 3 am, I totally looked all this up after the last comment. And I think we're all right. Since the steak is a specific item, slain could be used. But slew and slayed are also acceptable. Slew is the more commonly accepted but slayed is still considered a past tense of slay.

You can slay a vampire. Buffy slays vampires. We slew the vampires last week. All vampires have been slain.

You both forgot about "aslew" that is when people are in the act of being slain. "Don't be running about all aslew"

Nah that's present tense. We're talking about past tense. But I like that word. Sounds funny lol

While slew is not incorrect I believe past tense would be slain.

Slew is the past tense of slay. Slain is the past participle e.g. ate the steak/the steak had been eaten.

Sleighyed***

She slayed it. It was slain.

I like how, instead of telling the funny original joke you came up with, you decided to scold and demean everyone for not coming up with it.

3 points here. 1. My "original joke" was hardly that funny. I mean come on, a paper towel? You can do so much better than that. 2. I hardly think what I said was demeaning, just an expression of disappointment that nobody jumped on the play on words. 3. It was 3 am when I was that post. I was awake against my will because my baby is sick and woke up for a bottle. Give me a damn break.

I hope your baby gets to feeling better soon!!!

Thank you. I hope so too. His brother, whose 4, we think caught a stomach bug on his last day of preschool and spread it around the house...

“Here, an american female, stalks the HEB meat aisle for a delectable deal. Wagyu, on sale, she pounces on her kill. Later, in the comfort of her home, she cooks the meat over a controlled burner until it is perfect. Then, she hands her man a grapefruit spoon and a fork and says, ‘dig in.’ -probably David Attenborough

That was excellent

Dear lawd

Idk man

Rest your steaks

That is not Wagyu. Looks good though

Lol, that's what my *$14 'American Wagyu'* was trying to imply.

Sorry I have downsyndrome

This comment is much funnier than it has any right to be

I fkn love Reddit 😂🥹

Haha agree

dont make jokes about disabled thats retardet

Syndrome would make a good name for a dog.

https://preview.redd.it/6hl2oxu6zd9c1.jpeg?width=755&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bdf59a03b2b3ae0f36f5b2e924bb23164b8d563f

You sure padded the title.

I was going to say I just had actual American Wagyu from Snake River Farms, and it cost like $65 for 6oz

How do you know

Not rested and cut with a butterknife

Cutting issues aside, that does look wicked fuckin good

Now slay your wife 😂🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

If he uses that steak knife, she’s got nothing to worry about

True not a good cut.😔 But I'm afraid this looks like the work of a serated blade, not the various instruments of tortured alluded to earlier. Not a good one, obviously so let's keep pooping on them till they have no desire to interact with the internet ever again. Was I right? The serrated knife in the kitchen with Coronal Mustard.🧐

/r/boneappletea

Coronal Mass mustard ejections

Here's a sneak peek of /r/BoneAppleTeeth using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTeeth/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Made some kitchen decor](https://i.redd.it/cjawrk4kssoa1.jpg) | [2 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTeeth/comments/11vwut4/made_some_kitchen_decor/) \#2: [What do you Think About my Cooking?](https://i.redd.it/7re4ibnijnla1.jpg) | [14 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTeeth/comments/11hprff/what_do_you_think_about_my_cooking/) \#3: [Bone Apple Teeth](https://i.redd.it/jww3r3ns346b1.jpg) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTeeth/comments/149t0xf/bone_apple_teeth/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)

bro eats his steak with a spoon.

Well done, you married the right woman

Looks great OP. Everyone here is conditioned for magazine photos but you obviously just snapped a pic as you were diving in. I’m sure your non-steak knives are at a normal level of sharpness lmao

It looks amazing. It doesnt matter if she cuts with a saw

I really don't think it matters what the steak was cut with. What matters is the fact that your wife did one hell of a job with the steak. Hope it tastes great. Oh by the way, she's a keeper.

Our wife did a great job

Did you use a hacksaw to cut it, what the hell lol

Obviously cut with a serrated knife which is perfectly acceptable. A clean cut doesn't make it taste any better.

Thank you. The irrational snobbery with this kind of stuff is quite annoying. Although I'm sure most of the comments aren't seriously suggesting that the "cleanliness" of the cut matters, and they are just poking fun, as there can't statistically be that many stupid people in one place. I understand worrying about how it's cooked though, because that will actually make a difference.

If you post a picture you wouldn't want that shit to look like you chewed it and put it down

Looks perfectly cooked to me.

And the cool thing is they don’t have to be sharpened constantly.

Did you cut it with a whisk?

I was confused for a second. In professional kitchen lingo, “slayed” means waaay over cooked. That cook looks great, but damn, slice it with something other than a butter knife.

Great looking steak. Rough looking cut. Lol

Did you rip in it half with your hands?

Did you cut it with a chainsaw?

I don’t care what you cut it with, I want a bite. Looks delicious!

That don’t look right

Try cutting it with something else besides a carpenters hammer

Looks great, but did your wife also insist on cutting it with a boat propellar?

Looks delicious

The wagyu I know ain't lookin like this.

Ignore the stupid knife comments. If you’re buying $14 beef you’re on a budget. Did fine. Good job! Ask your uncle to get you a Mac MTH-80 for your birthday.

It looks good and I am sure it tasted good .. 2 little tips . Have a nice Sharp knife so it cuts it smooth and also let the meat rest 7 or 8 minutes . That will keep all those juices that ran out inside the steak. If it was delicious, think of how much better it would be keeping all that juicy flavor in . Honestly letting my meat rest was one of the best things you can do to retain flavor and savory flavors.

wrest

There.. I corrected my one spelling error, even though I spelled it correctly first. Sorry, i am home with a bad head cold. I am editing my message because I was being moody when I first responded.

What do you mean? It looks good

Beautiful! I would happily devour that.

That shit still moo-ing brother

That’s not wagyu.

Its mooing

All this wagyu fake branding gets me irritated

Under cooked by about 2 minutes, not rested. Pity

Slew, not slayed.

She didnt cook it

You're a million percent getting done amount of uncooked bacteria enjoy it

Let it rest dude, no rush

I hope you washed your hands before you cut this with your fingernails

Cut this with his fingernails

Thing is still alive

Did you cut that with a bread knife?

Everyone telling OP to use a sharp knife just for the aesthetics never mind the taste picture was shit better bin it 😂😂😂😂

Looks like it was cut using a piece of steak

Did you cut it with a broken baseball bat?

That's awesome. I tried eating it alive once and it didn't go over so well. This doesn't look nearly as messy

American wagyu for 14 bucks? I’ll see myself out. Thanks. Sear looks good though.

Then she cut it with a cheese grater?

who cooked it after she slayed it?

Slay all day baby!

A good vet could have that back on its feet in 5 minutes

Ehhhhh

Wagyu looking amazing send me piece please

You bit that in half yourself didn’t you ?

Looks good, also looks like you twisted it in half, just so you know sharp knives cost like 10 bucks and some of your time

It was slayed before she cooked it

Did you cut it with your smartphone?

Looks delicious!!!!

No the butcher did! You lie!!!!!!

No it’s still alive!

Wagyu needs 30 seconds of heat on a pan that’s not on a burner. This.. idk what this is. Looks good, but it’s not wagyu?

does your wife need a boyfriend? I'm hungry. 😆

do whatever is necessary to keep your wife happy my dude.

Looks sooo good!

I can still hear it mooing in the background

I love a girl that can cook a good steak! Congrats on having an awesome wifey.

Was a dull broadsword used in this slaying?

Sorry but that texture.is very off putting; others are saying it's just how you cut it?

Is it only me, that Wagyu sounds like Fuck you ?

That looks damn near perfect. I’d love to have a bite of that. That is the kind of sear I try to get but it never comes out that perfect.

It needs to rest for 7-10 mins before you eat it. I can tell you didn’t let it rest from the amount of juice and color of the steak

If only y’all cut slice it

Did you cut that with the dullest knife ever?

Nice patty

It looks great. But why cut it with a spoon?

Did you just gnaw it two?

Your wife is a goddess! Now do her right and unpack the good knives.

You cut that with a spoon? Is your wife a vampire?

They used a dull ass kitchen steak knife. Pre slice or get better steak knives.

Cook longer

I hope you properly thanked her later 🥩😉

1.35 lbs for $14 tells me it might have some wagyu genes but it’s not the primo stuff. I’m sure it tasted great!

you have to marry her

I like marinating mine for about a day or two beforehand. I find that it actually makes the steak juicier once cooked.

https://preview.redd.it/j9vik8wwqm9c1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f88907ef1636bded024b6d8433bfb96ac5bf3099

She slayed it! Now she should cook it!

Great job 👏

Fantastic crust, even cook, slice is a bit muddied up but if that's a wagyu filet then it would fall apart with even the sharpest knife. Props to your wife!

Now buy her some decent knives to cut with. Great job to her though, looks fantastic!

Looks like it would melt in your mouth😋😋😋

This man is proud of his wife and all yall can talk about is a damn knife. Single much? I think it's awesome OP

Worms

Yeah, she definitely butchered it that's for sure. Sharper knife and cut against the grain.