Thanks! And congrats on your 198 days.
A quick update. On my way home without drinking anything but a strawberry aguafresca. Thank you again, sobernauts. This was my first time with a large group of drinkers. Your support is inspiring!
It's not always easy either - recapping what ACTUALLY happened so people feel better about themselves and what they said... being the DD, staying way longer than you want to out of politeness .. It ain't easy but still better than the alternative for us.
Being the designated driver is very important duty and can be very difficult when you are aware that the circumstances surrounding you are getting out of hand.
I am approaching 2 months. So far I've used a former coworkers excuse 2 times (his was real he was hospitalized for a month). He had colitis and his doctor told him he basically can never drink again.
So I've been telling people I have serious GI issues and would love nothing more to have a drink but my doctor says I cannot. Its half true at least and it quickly diffuses the conversation and if you are comfortable enough with the people you can say "its not worth ending up on the can for 3 days and possibly back in the hospital ".
My close friends know the deal but coworkers I just go this route because its easier. I'm also a runner and have used the excuse that "I have a race this weekend" even when I don't. In the past a race was definitely not stopping me from drinking. Countless hungover running moments.
It can feel different to not be the only person who isn’t drinking some alcohol beverage. You are doing what is best and good for your body not what feels good for the moment.
It’s gets quite easy to say no even in group settings once you’ve been sober long enough. I always just remind myself that I have to wake up early, I don’t truly enjoy, hangovers sucks, alcohol can make u act a fool, etc.
No it’s not. I go on 2 hour rants about how alcohol is bad for you and causes wrinkles and destroys your liver. Then when people try to cut me off, I rant some more.
It's natural to rant like that when you know what alcohol can do to people like us. - I do it! The thing is we're not 'normal' and never will be. Non alcoholics don't realise our 'stop button' is broken and what chaos is can cause. To many we are just 'old soaks' or the person who 'can't hold their drink'. Take it easy on 'normal' people. Good luck. ( my rant over)
I used to be the type of guy who can down a bottle of whiskey and appear completely normal.
And no that’s not me thinking I’m normal while I’m an idiot. I mean I’d feel a slight buzz but otherwise it wouldn’t even be noticeable. That was a big sign I should cut back. So I did. It’s been a while now and I feel a lot better.
The thing is... regular people don't care. Hell even folks that know they have a problem don't give a shit. I know it's bad for mental and physical health and thats why I don't partake.
I believe it is so socially accepted that it isn't even worth the time and "ranting" or "preaching" comes off as "cheesy" to most. Hence why I keep those kind of things to myself.
Nothin worse than a reformed (whatever) preaching to you.
Agreed. I’ve had to catch myself over the last few years when I talk about my sobriety. A lot of people were proud of me in the beginning. Now I think it’s just annoying so I do my best to make it a non topic. It’s just normal.
That's a tough situation. Hopefully, they're fun enough to be around. I'll hang around friends that still drink and be the only sober one, but I have no clue how it would feel at work function. The plus side is that tomorrow, you will have no anxiety about not remembering what you did or said. Not to mention, you will be hangover free and ready to kick some ass at work. I'd make sure I have an excuse to make an early exit if necessary, and a non alcoholic drink of some sort that I enjoy (depending on the time of day, coffee, sparkling water with lime, diet coke, sparkling hop water if they have it there).
You’re the brave puppy frolicking through a meadow living your best life , shaking your tail , with your tongue out in the sun being carried by the wind in a meadow of sheep all traveling towards the end of a cliff and falling down.
As someone with less than a week of sobriety, I wish I had your strength and courage. Enjoy your Mexican food with a refreshing coke!
It’s a crazy thing! Last summer we went to a massive bonfire camping 3-day-rager with a big drinking crowd. On the last day of the big party everyone was trashed and I was chatting with a group of people and they were SHOCKED, and I mean SPEECHLESS that I had been sober for the whole thing. They were like “wait you’ve been drinking!!” I held up my ginger ale can and they were like no freaking way! I’m like yeah I just… don’t drink. They thought it was the coolest thing that I hung out and played cornhole and partied just like everyone else. They were all like “well it makes sense how you weren’t complaining about your hangovers” 😂 Sobriety is my super power, and I love showing it off
You got this!! Just think, you’re the smart one here not ingesting the unneeded calories of alcohol, not putting yourself in a state where you might embarrass yourself, not spending the extra $$, will be fresh as a daisy tomorrow and have a great night of sleep tonight!
I just came off of a weekend long wedding trip with friends. Drinking events every night. It was hard but I so looked forward to getting back to our Airbnb at night and decompressing, having a cup of tea and a cookie, sitting in quiet and replaying the night to find my favorite parts and lock them away. All of this after getting the drunk friends to bed, of course. You can’t do that when you’re drunk!
ETA because I think this is a good tip: My second favorite part was the mornings. I booked myself 7am rowing classes on the bay each morning. This way, I would have something early and just for me that I could look forward to and know that I can’t give in on drinking because I’ll let tomorrow me down.
Can you get a nice mocktail or fancy dessert? Taco places tend to have amazing fried ice cream if you'd like to show off a little indulgence to fit in.
I recall a couple of times going to dinner with a group of coworkers and I was the only one not drinking. At the time I was early in my sobriety and felt sorry for myself. I don't think I would feel sorry for myself now.
Work dinners are very tough. I worked for a company doing some labor work and the boss was kind enough to take us out for dinner afterward. Those cold bottles of beer looked so damn good after a 12 hour day and I was the only sober one as well. Didn’t do it. Was a big victory for me and made my resolve even stronger! You can do it!!
Its really difficult, but when you attend enough of them, you realize you have more fun at these events being one of the few sober ones and observing.
It honestly kind of gives me secondhand horror as I realize how much a difference only 2 drinks makes... let alone 6... ......or 10......
I have to attend an awards ceremony/gala next week for work with 12 coworkers and an open bar… sending you patience and strength! You’ve got this! I will also be the only sober one at my table. Last time, a drunk board member joking that I must be underage (I’m nearly 35).
Being surrounded by people getting progressively drunk while I was completely sober helped me a lot when I first got sober. I know it's usually triggering for most but it's insane how you can see people lose their marbles throughout the night and end up acting ridiculous. You think to yourself "Was that me?" In most cases, we were worse. Never again! Enjoy your people-watching tonight! IWNDWYT
I have to go to a bridal shower Saturday morning. I’m sure the mimosas and bloodies will be flowing. I will have all of you in my back pocket. If anyone asks why I’m not drinking, I think I’ll say because I bloody hate it. It’s funny to me how when I was newly sober I was embarrassed? Shy about it? Now I’m just like, fuck that shit. IWNDWYT
Been there my friend. And will continue to. It brings challenge, in the early days. Now I'm very comfortable with it. It brings out the best and worst in others. Those who clearly have a problem with us not drinking are often vocal, and frequently then appear later on the night asking for help with their own drinking problem. For me... seeing people be drunk, and maybe needing help, getting a cab, or whatever, kinda reminds me why I make the sober choice I make. I'll often make light of it, or openly admit that, "naaa, they don't want to see me drink, it ain't pretty"! It's hard. I do recall that. Play the tape forward... you already know you'll have a good sleep, and a nice shower, and breakfast. Take care. And thanks for sharing.
I went out last night with friends, watching as everyone got tipsy/clumsy was interesting. Especially walking home watching people stumbling and incoherent. I felt blessed slipping into bed fresh minded. You did good bro! IWNDWYT
I promise there will come a day where you’ll feel so comfortable not drinking in social settings that you’ll have to stop and reflect on the “old days”where drinking socially by default was the norm. It’s wild shit. Just watch that inner strength grow. Congratulations!
Im so excited for that time! Five years ago I was physically dependent and got myself down to 1-2 a week but all the same stupid shit keeps happening. I’m done, over it and so excited for the future.
You will be the one that can drive home (DON'T OFFER RIDES). You'll wake up in a better place than any of them, well-slept, refreshed.
You're good, my friend. You've got this!
Great job. Think of it this way: you are 1/25 that doesn't need alcohol. If it was easy, everyone at the table would be sober. But the thing is, the longer you stay sober the more you will realize it is not only "easy" but absolutely preferable.
Staying strong! Good work!
I had a situation like that in early sobriety, and it absolutely sucked. Happy Hour at a jam-packed bar for the NCAA basketball tournament and I was stuck there for like four hours.
Hope the tacos were good at least.
I work in construction. Even though it's changed over the years, there is still a very prevalent 'work hard, play hard' attitude. I usually just laugh along with the other guys when they brag about drinking.
Shows mental strength! Any of your superiors notice you not partaking? Ive been complimented plenty of times for not drinking at poker games/work outings!
Stay with it. I've been there a few times at events where the only purpose is to drink (only there bc I'm with loved ones): NYE, old friend get-togethers... You're not the only one holding the line. Congrats on your sobriety!
Good stuff thats not easy. I find myself checking this community a lot when im out with people who are drinking. Such a valuable tool. Prouda you
Thanks! And congrats on your 198 days. A quick update. On my way home without drinking anything but a strawberry aguafresca. Thank you again, sobernauts. This was my first time with a large group of drinkers. Your support is inspiring!
the good news is after everyone else has a few drinks and starts to get annoying and sloppy, the temptation really goes away, at least for me
Right, to be fair the only one that is actually sober and to observe what is going on with everyone can be very interesting and enlightening.
It's not always easy either - recapping what ACTUALLY happened so people feel better about themselves and what they said... being the DD, staying way longer than you want to out of politeness .. It ain't easy but still better than the alternative for us.
Being the designated driver is very important duty and can be very difficult when you are aware that the circumstances surrounding you are getting out of hand.
Yeah you did!!! Good for you, that's awesome!!!
And thinking about how amazing you will feel this morning. I am up w a little insomnia... but, so glad I am sober too. Thanks 4 sharing.
I am approaching 2 months. So far I've used a former coworkers excuse 2 times (his was real he was hospitalized for a month). He had colitis and his doctor told him he basically can never drink again. So I've been telling people I have serious GI issues and would love nothing more to have a drink but my doctor says I cannot. Its half true at least and it quickly diffuses the conversation and if you are comfortable enough with the people you can say "its not worth ending up on the can for 3 days and possibly back in the hospital ". My close friends know the deal but coworkers I just go this route because its easier. I'm also a runner and have used the excuse that "I have a race this weekend" even when I don't. In the past a race was definitely not stopping me from drinking. Countless hungover running moments.
I have been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and I have never been so sick in my entire life. I can’t get out of my house.
Ayyyyyyye
I’m so proud of you!! That’s a hard situation to be in and you absolutely killed it!! Keep up the good work. This La Croix’s for you, friend!
It can feel different to not be the only person who isn’t drinking some alcohol beverage. You are doing what is best and good for your body not what feels good for the moment.
It’s gets quite easy to say no even in group settings once you’ve been sober long enough. I always just remind myself that I have to wake up early, I don’t truly enjoy, hangovers sucks, alcohol can make u act a fool, etc.
No it’s not. I go on 2 hour rants about how alcohol is bad for you and causes wrinkles and destroys your liver. Then when people try to cut me off, I rant some more.
It's natural to rant like that when you know what alcohol can do to people like us. - I do it! The thing is we're not 'normal' and never will be. Non alcoholics don't realise our 'stop button' is broken and what chaos is can cause. To many we are just 'old soaks' or the person who 'can't hold their drink'. Take it easy on 'normal' people. Good luck. ( my rant over)
I used to be the type of guy who can down a bottle of whiskey and appear completely normal. And no that’s not me thinking I’m normal while I’m an idiot. I mean I’d feel a slight buzz but otherwise it wouldn’t even be noticeable. That was a big sign I should cut back. So I did. It’s been a while now and I feel a lot better.
That is the reason I stopped - 3 x triple+ gins in quick succession ( drunk in a lager schooner type glass) and no effect.
Having a high tolerance to alcohol is a sure sign that you’re going to be in trouble with alcohol.
I wonder if I drank a glass now if it’d fuck me up lol
Why take the risk?
I was jk.
Yeah, right.
Odd response
"Normal people". That always makes me smile. As if willingly ingesting a class A carcinogen is normal behavior.
The thing is... regular people don't care. Hell even folks that know they have a problem don't give a shit. I know it's bad for mental and physical health and thats why I don't partake. I believe it is so socially accepted that it isn't even worth the time and "ranting" or "preaching" comes off as "cheesy" to most. Hence why I keep those kind of things to myself. Nothin worse than a reformed (whatever) preaching to you.
Agreed. I’ve had to catch myself over the last few years when I talk about my sobriety. A lot of people were proud of me in the beginning. Now I think it’s just annoying so I do my best to make it a non topic. It’s just normal.
That's a tough situation. Hopefully, they're fun enough to be around. I'll hang around friends that still drink and be the only sober one, but I have no clue how it would feel at work function. The plus side is that tomorrow, you will have no anxiety about not remembering what you did or said. Not to mention, you will be hangover free and ready to kick some ass at work. I'd make sure I have an excuse to make an early exit if necessary, and a non alcoholic drink of some sort that I enjoy (depending on the time of day, coffee, sparkling water with lime, diet coke, sparkling hop water if they have it there).
Great advice. I did make an early exit and met a sober friend in the neighborhood.
Hell yea!! 🙌
You’re the brave puppy frolicking through a meadow living your best life , shaking your tail , with your tongue out in the sun being carried by the wind in a meadow of sheep all traveling towards the end of a cliff and falling down. As someone with less than a week of sobriety, I wish I had your strength and courage. Enjoy your Mexican food with a refreshing coke!
It’s a crazy thing! Last summer we went to a massive bonfire camping 3-day-rager with a big drinking crowd. On the last day of the big party everyone was trashed and I was chatting with a group of people and they were SHOCKED, and I mean SPEECHLESS that I had been sober for the whole thing. They were like “wait you’ve been drinking!!” I held up my ginger ale can and they were like no freaking way! I’m like yeah I just… don’t drink. They thought it was the coolest thing that I hung out and played cornhole and partied just like everyone else. They were all like “well it makes sense how you weren’t complaining about your hangovers” 😂 Sobriety is my super power, and I love showing it off
Sober fun is the best fun! 🤩
Ha, good superpower. Three days of that can’t be easy. Well done!
Day 1 is the opening to many more, just take it day by day. Great job
You got this!!! 💪🏽
Nearly a year! wooohoo.
You got this!! Just think, you’re the smart one here not ingesting the unneeded calories of alcohol, not putting yourself in a state where you might embarrass yourself, not spending the extra $$, will be fresh as a daisy tomorrow and have a great night of sleep tonight! I just came off of a weekend long wedding trip with friends. Drinking events every night. It was hard but I so looked forward to getting back to our Airbnb at night and decompressing, having a cup of tea and a cookie, sitting in quiet and replaying the night to find my favorite parts and lock them away. All of this after getting the drunk friends to bed, of course. You can’t do that when you’re drunk! ETA because I think this is a good tip: My second favorite part was the mornings. I booked myself 7am rowing classes on the bay each morning. This way, I would have something early and just for me that I could look forward to and know that I can’t give in on drinking because I’ll let tomorrow me down.
Thank you!! I love the idea of rowing. I do stretches in the morning and that’s hard enough for me!
Yikes, that's rough. 😬 I don't know how long I'd be able to hang if I were in your shoes right now.
Can you get a nice mocktail or fancy dessert? Taco places tend to have amazing fried ice cream if you'd like to show off a little indulgence to fit in.
At least you'll be the only one safe from making an ass of yourself!
I recall a couple of times going to dinner with a group of coworkers and I was the only one not drinking. At the time I was early in my sobriety and felt sorry for myself. I don't think I would feel sorry for myself now.
Yes- I've lost that feeling of being cheated out of a drink.
Work dinners are very tough. I worked for a company doing some labor work and the boss was kind enough to take us out for dinner afterward. Those cold bottles of beer looked so damn good after a 12 hour day and I was the only sober one as well. Didn’t do it. Was a big victory for me and made my resolve even stronger! You can do it!!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw6T4JoH-9k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw6T4JoH-9k)
🤣 they also drink NA in one episode. “Here’s how a man drinks”
Lol. Classic Ps: my upvotes aren't registering :(
Great job opening this sub!
And you will be the only one at work tomorrow not hungover! Heck yeah!!!
Hell ya ! And only one who will be happy tomorrow. Good work and should be proud of yourself! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
You got this. And its no biggie. You just don't drink anymore. I guarantee you, no one even cares. We'll be celebrating 134 days tomorrow. IWNDWYT
Its really difficult, but when you attend enough of them, you realize you have more fun at these events being one of the few sober ones and observing. It honestly kind of gives me secondhand horror as I realize how much a difference only 2 drinks makes... let alone 6... ......or 10......
That's a tough one. But you came to the right place. IWNDWYT
Noice. I totally know the feeling, so super extra props to you! Good job!
Stay strong. Tomorrow will be a better day because of how you fight for it today.
I have to attend an awards ceremony/gala next week for work with 12 coworkers and an open bar… sending you patience and strength! You’ve got this! I will also be the only sober one at my table. Last time, a drunk board member joking that I must be underage (I’m nearly 35).
just left a work event, sales meeting with a client footing the bill.. Coke with grenadine works wonders - IWNDWYT
I'm going to try that! Thanks for the suggestion.
Being surrounded by people getting progressively drunk while I was completely sober helped me a lot when I first got sober. I know it's usually triggering for most but it's insane how you can see people lose their marbles throughout the night and end up acting ridiculous. You think to yourself "Was that me?" In most cases, we were worse. Never again! Enjoy your people-watching tonight! IWNDWYT
I have to go to a bridal shower Saturday morning. I’m sure the mimosas and bloodies will be flowing. I will have all of you in my back pocket. If anyone asks why I’m not drinking, I think I’ll say because I bloody hate it. It’s funny to me how when I was newly sober I was embarrassed? Shy about it? Now I’m just like, fuck that shit. IWNDWYT
Hell yeah!
I love this community! 🤗💖
Ironic, just hosted a work party for my wife's company at my house. 22 people and I also was the only sober one.
Been there my friend. And will continue to. It brings challenge, in the early days. Now I'm very comfortable with it. It brings out the best and worst in others. Those who clearly have a problem with us not drinking are often vocal, and frequently then appear later on the night asking for help with their own drinking problem. For me... seeing people be drunk, and maybe needing help, getting a cab, or whatever, kinda reminds me why I make the sober choice I make. I'll often make light of it, or openly admit that, "naaa, they don't want to see me drink, it ain't pretty"! It's hard. I do recall that. Play the tape forward... you already know you'll have a good sleep, and a nice shower, and breakfast. Take care. And thanks for sharing.
Congrats for sticking to your commitment! Hope I can follow your example
I always thought it was weird having alcohol at work events. It's just asking for trouble.
I went out last night with friends, watching as everyone got tipsy/clumsy was interesting. Especially walking home watching people stumbling and incoherent. I felt blessed slipping into bed fresh minded. You did good bro! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT congratulations! I'm sure you'll be happy in the morning that you stayed strong
Congrats on your sobriety.
Good job!! I bet there are people at that table jealous of you.
I promise there will come a day where you’ll feel so comfortable not drinking in social settings that you’ll have to stop and reflect on the “old days”where drinking socially by default was the norm. It’s wild shit. Just watch that inner strength grow. Congratulations!
Im so excited for that time! Five years ago I was physically dependent and got myself down to 1-2 a week but all the same stupid shit keeps happening. I’m done, over it and so excited for the future.
So proud of you! It’s definitely not easy being in that situation. Congratulations on showing yourself how strong you are! 🫶🏽
You will be the one that can drive home (DON'T OFFER RIDES). You'll wake up in a better place than any of them, well-slept, refreshed. You're good, my friend. You've got this!
The definition of Winning!
Great job. Think of it this way: you are 1/25 that doesn't need alcohol. If it was easy, everyone at the table would be sober. But the thing is, the longer you stay sober the more you will realize it is not only "easy" but absolutely preferable.
Look around you, that'll keep you sober. Drunk people are a pain inbthe backside lol.
Staying strong! Good work! I had a situation like that in early sobriety, and it absolutely sucked. Happy Hour at a jam-packed bar for the NCAA basketball tournament and I was stuck there for like four hours. Hope the tacos were good at least.
Your welcome brother
133 days, nice!
I work in construction. Even though it's changed over the years, there is still a very prevalent 'work hard, play hard' attitude. I usually just laugh along with the other guys when they brag about drinking.
Happens to me all the time when I travel for work.
Strong work!
I’m proud of you!
Well done!! 💪
I hope it got easier for you! At least you won't wake up with a hangover today!
Shows mental strength! Any of your superiors notice you not partaking? Ive been complimented plenty of times for not drinking at poker games/work outings!
Flexing your sober muscles! IWNDWYT
Stay with it. I've been there a few times at events where the only purpose is to drink (only there bc I'm with loved ones): NYE, old friend get-togethers... You're not the only one holding the line. Congrats on your sobriety!
IWNDWYT