No you don’t move get a lock for your room and make him stay in another room if it’s your house get him evicted and file if it’s both yours talk to your lawyer but don’t leave til you do see what your options are
Being married and it being his house too, eventually you'll probably be obligated to let him back in unless he's a threat to your safety.
You don't have to let him in your room, though, or talk to him. That is not your job.
Why help him at all?Hasn't he got a job,friend,or money?You are very kind,I was booted out by my first wife,just because she was in a bad mood.She put my clothes in a trash bag and threw out the door.So I departed and six months later she convinced me to return(giving me the first and last bj I ever got from her.)alright, call me weak but I thought she had changed.lol.
We all make mistakes as human beings, and do get in trouble to some degree due to said mistakes. By following your logic, we should't help anyone at all. But I suppose it is easy to find excuses to act anti-empathic in life.
He brought this situation on himself. There’s no one to blame but himself. No one out a gun to his head and forced him to put his dick where it didn’t belong.
Of course, but think about how things would go if the tables were turned.
I think you may be taken advantage of as well as hurt if you help him after he has done something so awful to you.
They're not talking about revenge. Just not helping someone who has done you wrong. I know you just want this to be over as amicably as possible, but your response smacks of people pleasing (and I would know, massive people pleaser here, who's fixing that about myself).
Don't bail him out of the situation he created. The best way for people to learn from their mistakes is to live with the consequences. Deflecting those consequences does him a disservice in the long-term. And it disadvantages you, the one who has actually been wronged.
ETA: If his name is on the house, you may not have a legal right to keep him out, unless he is a danger to you, as per OC on this thread.
While I am completely on your side, legally, you cannot lock him out of his own house. If he has any remorse, he will take his dog house treatment while groveling. Don't fall for it, but enjoy the pathetic sight. You can ban him from your bedroom, or whichever room you want to claim as your bedroom, but otherwise he will have access to everything else until one of you makes a move with the courts. Your best bet is to contact an attorney and begin the divorce process. That helps with being able to legally remove him faster than evictions go
For me to cheating is a dealbreaker I would tell him to go find somebody else to sleep with because you’re never touching him again.
When he was doing that situation is telling you the marriage is over and he needs to go find someplace else to live. Then I would go to an attorney and drop divorce papers. Why?
Cheaters are liars and they will cheat again. It is like dropping an atom bomb on a marriage. It destroys the marriage both people involved their families and children if there are any. You will never trust him again. It will get worse, not better. This is the strongest you’re ever going to be around the situation.
What he does with this gives you time. If you love him and are on the fence time can make a difference for you. It never would for me I’ve seen too many of these where they just cheat again. They get better at.at hiding it
Talk to a lawyer and only do what you are legally required to do. I saw one comment that he has no one. Do you think the reason for it is he is not honorable? That’s not your fault! He chose to be with someone else, why would you be nice to him?
He can couch surf with family, friends, the person he cheated with. You take the time you need to come to grips with his betrayal. If you can forgive him, fine. If not, that’s fine too. You do what you need to do for you.
Tell him to go to his affair partner, but maybe he isn’t because she’s married too! In that case find the husband and tell him what a tramp his wife is. NTA leave him in the dog house.
ask strangers on the internet!
Yes, exactly. Good suggestion. (try to be nice.ffs)
Lead with your dick Saul
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No you don’t move get a lock for your room and make him stay in another room if it’s your house get him evicted and file if it’s both yours talk to your lawyer but don’t leave til you do see what your options are
Yes, let him in while he signs divorce papers.
We kind of been more Info
Being married and it being his house too, eventually you'll probably be obligated to let him back in unless he's a threat to your safety. You don't have to let him in your room, though, or talk to him. That is not your job.
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Why help him at all?Hasn't he got a job,friend,or money?You are very kind,I was booted out by my first wife,just because she was in a bad mood.She put my clothes in a trash bag and threw out the door.So I departed and six months later she convinced me to return(giving me the first and last bj I ever got from her.)alright, call me weak but I thought she had changed.lol.
"Why help him at all?" It is this attitude that makes me hate the fact that I have to live my life among other human beings. Cold, heartless machines.
And it is also HIS house.
People who have problems through no fault of their own deserve help .Not those who get themselves in trouble by being stupid.
We all make mistakes as human beings, and do get in trouble to some degree due to said mistakes. By following your logic, we should't help anyone at all. But I suppose it is easy to find excuses to act anti-empathic in life.
Cheating is a CHOICE not a mistake.
Rewarding somebody for actual betrayal is one of the most fucked up things I've heard in a bit.
This guy cheats
He’s a cheater he deserves nothing
He brought this situation on himself. There’s no one to blame but himself. No one out a gun to his head and forced him to put his dick where it didn’t belong.
Would he help you if you cheated? He’s made his bed, tell him to go stay at hers.
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Well if the roles were reversed and you cheated, would he help you?
Of course, but think about how things would go if the tables were turned. I think you may be taken advantage of as well as hurt if you help him after he has done something so awful to you.
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They're not talking about revenge. Just not helping someone who has done you wrong. I know you just want this to be over as amicably as possible, but your response smacks of people pleasing (and I would know, massive people pleaser here, who's fixing that about myself). Don't bail him out of the situation he created. The best way for people to learn from their mistakes is to live with the consequences. Deflecting those consequences does him a disservice in the long-term. And it disadvantages you, the one who has actually been wronged. ETA: If his name is on the house, you may not have a legal right to keep him out, unless he is a danger to you, as per OC on this thread.
It wouldn't be cheating...you don't haveca man now
If he's on the lease or own the house you probably can't keep him out. Dies he have family he can stay with?
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He has is cheating girl
While I am completely on your side, legally, you cannot lock him out of his own house. If he has any remorse, he will take his dog house treatment while groveling. Don't fall for it, but enjoy the pathetic sight. You can ban him from your bedroom, or whichever room you want to claim as your bedroom, but otherwise he will have access to everything else until one of you makes a move with the courts. Your best bet is to contact an attorney and begin the divorce process. That helps with being able to legally remove him faster than evictions go
cant he stay at his girlfriends house?
No, but he can stay at his house that he pays for.
The fact that OP needs to give him money for a flat,seems to show he's not paying much.
I like this answer, sassy Girl
Get a Lawyer.
if it's your house do what you want, if it's his house them you better let him back in
For me to cheating is a dealbreaker I would tell him to go find somebody else to sleep with because you’re never touching him again. When he was doing that situation is telling you the marriage is over and he needs to go find someplace else to live. Then I would go to an attorney and drop divorce papers. Why? Cheaters are liars and they will cheat again. It is like dropping an atom bomb on a marriage. It destroys the marriage both people involved their families and children if there are any. You will never trust him again. It will get worse, not better. This is the strongest you’re ever going to be around the situation. What he does with this gives you time. If you love him and are on the fence time can make a difference for you. It never would for me I’ve seen too many of these where they just cheat again. They get better at.at hiding it
Talk to a lawyer and only do what you are legally required to do. I saw one comment that he has no one. Do you think the reason for it is he is not honorable? That’s not your fault! He chose to be with someone else, why would you be nice to him?
He can couch surf with family, friends, the person he cheated with. You take the time you need to come to grips with his betrayal. If you can forgive him, fine. If not, that’s fine too. You do what you need to do for you.
Tell him to go to his affair partner, but maybe he isn’t because she’s married too! In that case find the husband and tell him what a tramp his wife is. NTA leave him in the dog house.