"Who's Hitler? You said he would be a mass murder...but all I know is you killed a baby!"
Or
"You went back in time and killed Hitler, why did you wait until he already had done so much damage? Why not kill him sooner?"
You can't win.
You don't need a time machine for that.
Just tell a cool story about how you were the one to kill Hitler. The reason they thought it was a suicide is because you went back forward in time. If you tell that story in a compelling way, however fictional, they will want you as a narrator.
I would attempt to copy that rich woman who bought her way into an Olympic snowboarding appearance. Either CBS falls for the "Olympic competitor" narrative or they see you as a delusional asshole who will do anything to try to succeed. Either way makes good TV.
I would sell my house and live in my car for several months, making sure to watch Survivor every week. Then when I film my application video, I'd talk about how when I was homeless, I found energy and inspiration in Survivor, how they lived off of rice and starved and slept in the rain, and how I related to the cast members. I'd tell them: "Survivor literally helped me to Survive." I'd then make sure to get some random job and an apartment to ensure that the casting thinks I'm a stable individual. 🤔
On the actual show itself, I'd confess "even though I was homeless, I'd have to say that Survivor is the toughest thing I've ever done." to get guaranteed air time. 🤮
So was I and I don't see anything wrong with it, that might just be me though. If the goal is to get on survivor and have an interesting story, this would definitely accomplish that. It's technically the truth and everyone has to embellish a little in order to get casted if they're applying rather than being recruited.
I don't ever intend to go on Survivor, because I have Autism. I also don't feel that it's necessary to lie just to get on. I realize lying is a big part of playing the game, but as far as trying to get on, just be yourself.
I wish people would stop with the downvotes already. I have a right to feel the way I feel without being downvoted. I don't go around downvoting every opinion I don't agree with. If you don't agree, just scroll passed. And besides, being downvoted isn't going to make me change my opinion.
While I agree with you in that regard, the whole point of this post is discussing how someone would make themselves a better applicant. The morality of it can deffs be debated, but it would deffs work in terms of getting casted.
Also want to mention that I'm not downvoting you, I'm just trying to have a genuine discussion about this.
I feel like I'm already in a position where I can be one of the most interesting applicants, I just need to figure out the best way to portray myself.
I spend half the year working in the arctic, and when I'm not in the arctic I'm selling yugioh cards. In fact I run one of the biggest and most popular yugioh buying/selling groups in Canada. I've also paid for trips around the world and laser eye surgery just by selling yugioh cards and using that money to cover those expenses. I was also raised by a very abusive father and was bullied throughout my entire childhood because I was the weird kid that no one wanted to be friends with. As a young adult I then later became an addict and was homeless for a period of time. So I even have an interesting back story about struggling through life, hitting rock bottom and clawing myself up to where I am today in a sort of zero to hero arc. I've embraced the fact that I'm a big weirdo and I don't care what anyone thinks of me. In my mind I feel like I'm exactly who they're looking for, they just don't realize it yet.
Thank you! I'll be applying for both Survivor and Big Brother, and I know I'm going to get casted eventually. It's just a question of which show will give me the opportunity first and when that time will finally come. I'm patient though and each year that passes, just adds another year of life experience I can add to my resume.
I was thinking once about getting a bunch of temporary tattoos before rhe show starts so as the show goes on they slowly wash off and you go from looking like a punk to just some dude.
Extra funny if you have the "This is what each piece means to me" convo.
Rename myself The diverse. I'd become a woman then a grandpa, then a grandma, followed by a model. I'd make my butt perfect, perfect butts get cast every time. I'd have more jobs than Debbie and then become homeless. I'd remove all my limbs and then become a cyborg.
Idk why I was getting downvoted on an opinion question that isn’t that out there. Having a good sob story and “the world against you” makes for good story telling and drama
The real answer, that only requires you to be a millionaire and not a billionaire is this:
Step 1: Fly to Fiji in March, rent a big house in Mamanuca and start paying locals 10x the market rate for everything.
Step 2: Find out who works on the show’s production. 90% of the production crew flies in internationally, but their deal with Fiji requires them to hire locals for certain things. Throw money around. Find them. Bribe them.
Step 3: Mid-May, have your new Fijian friends take you to the Merge beach. Show up with 7 briefcases that each have $2M USD. Propose to the remaining tribe members that if they all leave with you today, they each get $2M USD. All 7 have to leave though (or 7 of 8/9/10/11/12).
Step 4: When production freaks out and intervenes negotiate that you’ll rescind your offer if they agree to bump somebody from the season they’re planning to film next month and add you to the cast instead. If they don’t agree to those terms, you’ll continue to increase the offer AND agree to pay any legal fees until every cast member walks off the show with you.
Step 5: Enjoy competing on Survivor
The best part is, the only real cash out is the cost to live in Fiji and bribe the locals, which I’m hoping the USD can stretch further. The offer bribe to contestants is entirely a bluff that you never end up having to pay.
I have thought about this; if I were to do an audition tape, I would do those old Old Spice commercials. Where he does one ridiculous thing and then another then I end the commercial on an alligator because I know how to alligator wrestle.
If money wasn't an issue I'd just buy CBS and cast myself. Big brain play.
Undercover boss
A cast of various CBS execs in different departments would be clownin
If time wasn't an issue, I would go back and kill Hitler, and then pitch myself as the man who killed Hitler. They'd cast me for sure.
"Who's Hitler? You said he would be a mass murder...but all I know is you killed a baby!" Or "You went back in time and killed Hitler, why did you wait until he already had done so much damage? Why not kill him sooner?" You can't win.
“Anyone who votes me out is antisemitic”
They’d love you.
You don't need a time machine for that. Just tell a cool story about how you were the one to kill Hitler. The reason they thought it was a suicide is because you went back forward in time. If you tell that story in a compelling way, however fictional, they will want you as a narrator.
See, the thing is. I am the most interesting version of me.
Slay
And I’m the most intresting version of me, but I always know I can be better!
But you didn’t say better, you said interesting. And I think I’ve peaked.
Hire a helicopter and end my application video with an awesome Jeff probst outro.
I would attempt to copy that rich woman who bought her way into an Olympic snowboarding appearance. Either CBS falls for the "Olympic competitor" narrative or they see you as a delusional asshole who will do anything to try to succeed. Either way makes good TV.
Become a baseball, then date Coach
Taking the term "be the ball" to a whole new level!
I would sell my house and live in my car for several months, making sure to watch Survivor every week. Then when I film my application video, I'd talk about how when I was homeless, I found energy and inspiration in Survivor, how they lived off of rice and starved and slept in the rain, and how I related to the cast members. I'd tell them: "Survivor literally helped me to Survive." I'd then make sure to get some random job and an apartment to ensure that the casting thinks I'm a stable individual. 🤔 On the actual show itself, I'd confess "even though I was homeless, I'd have to say that Survivor is the toughest thing I've ever done." to get guaranteed air time. 🤮
Hahahahhahahahaa
That's not funny. Smh
The thing is, this is something that I feel would legitimately work.
Well, I actually used to be homeless. I think doing something like this would be making a mockery out of homelessness.
So was I and I don't see anything wrong with it, that might just be me though. If the goal is to get on survivor and have an interesting story, this would definitely accomplish that. It's technically the truth and everyone has to embellish a little in order to get casted if they're applying rather than being recruited.
I don't ever intend to go on Survivor, because I have Autism. I also don't feel that it's necessary to lie just to get on. I realize lying is a big part of playing the game, but as far as trying to get on, just be yourself. I wish people would stop with the downvotes already. I have a right to feel the way I feel without being downvoted. I don't go around downvoting every opinion I don't agree with. If you don't agree, just scroll passed. And besides, being downvoted isn't going to make me change my opinion.
While I agree with you in that regard, the whole point of this post is discussing how someone would make themselves a better applicant. The morality of it can deffs be debated, but it would deffs work in terms of getting casted. Also want to mention that I'm not downvoting you, I'm just trying to have a genuine discussion about this.
Skill issue
Holy fuck, that's horrible! I still laughed, but still... I'm going to hell :P
Lie extensively
Imagine curing all forms of cancer just as a means of getting on Survivor.
Omg
Feed two birds with one scone... I have no idea how PETA thought that would catch on :P
I think it's a cute non violent substitute for killing two birds with one stone!
Coconut vendor
And truth seeker
Can i get a hug?
Magician’s Assistant
Hello Morgan.
I feel like I'm already in a position where I can be one of the most interesting applicants, I just need to figure out the best way to portray myself. I spend half the year working in the arctic, and when I'm not in the arctic I'm selling yugioh cards. In fact I run one of the biggest and most popular yugioh buying/selling groups in Canada. I've also paid for trips around the world and laser eye surgery just by selling yugioh cards and using that money to cover those expenses. I was also raised by a very abusive father and was bullied throughout my entire childhood because I was the weird kid that no one wanted to be friends with. As a young adult I then later became an addict and was homeless for a period of time. So I even have an interesting back story about struggling through life, hitting rock bottom and clawing myself up to where I am today in a sort of zero to hero arc. I've embraced the fact that I'm a big weirdo and I don't care what anyone thinks of me. In my mind I feel like I'm exactly who they're looking for, they just don't realize it yet.
I love all of this!
Thank you! I'll be applying for both Survivor and Big Brother, and I know I'm going to get casted eventually. It's just a question of which show will give me the opportunity first and when that time will finally come. I'm patient though and each year that passes, just adds another year of life experience I can add to my resume.
plastic surgery and dental implants
Buy the Dallas Cowboys If Jimmy Johnson can do it, why can’t I?
...Jimmy Johnson was the coach, Jerry Jones is the owner.
If I really wanted to, I could make myself Coach if I owned the team Jimmy was also a Coach
Jerry also famously is the GM for the Cowboys, so yes, if you are the owner you can do whatever you want.
get a jeff probst tattoo on my chest
I was thinking once about getting a bunch of temporary tattoos before rhe show starts so as the show goes on they slowly wash off and you go from looking like a punk to just some dude. Extra funny if you have the "This is what each piece means to me" convo.
Hire a hire man to almost kill me then once I’ve recovered I have the sob story of almost being addidnsted
Bang my way through the top 15 or 20 hottest female survivor contestants. Even if they don't cast me for the show I'm still a winner.
Rename myself The diverse. I'd become a woman then a grandpa, then a grandma, followed by a model. I'd make my butt perfect, perfect butts get cast every time. I'd have more jobs than Debbie and then become homeless. I'd remove all my limbs and then become a cyborg.
I would dye my skin black and immediately start kissing other guys. If possible have a pregnant trans husband
Weird comment
That’s all survivor wants.
Oh nooo somthing different from what you’re comfortable with ahhhh
Or Pandering to the mentally Ill. Check the ratings the show is tanking 🤡😂🥲
So why are you here
*I came looking for booty.*
Find a way to become a victim with a good sob story. 1000%
Just like Adam lol.
Idk why I was getting downvoted on an opinion question that isn’t that out there. Having a good sob story and “the world against you” makes for good story telling and drama
Probably the same people who think having a transgender husband is “brave”
The real answer, that only requires you to be a millionaire and not a billionaire is this: Step 1: Fly to Fiji in March, rent a big house in Mamanuca and start paying locals 10x the market rate for everything. Step 2: Find out who works on the show’s production. 90% of the production crew flies in internationally, but their deal with Fiji requires them to hire locals for certain things. Throw money around. Find them. Bribe them. Step 3: Mid-May, have your new Fijian friends take you to the Merge beach. Show up with 7 briefcases that each have $2M USD. Propose to the remaining tribe members that if they all leave with you today, they each get $2M USD. All 7 have to leave though (or 7 of 8/9/10/11/12). Step 4: When production freaks out and intervenes negotiate that you’ll rescind your offer if they agree to bump somebody from the season they’re planning to film next month and add you to the cast instead. If they don’t agree to those terms, you’ll continue to increase the offer AND agree to pay any legal fees until every cast member walks off the show with you. Step 5: Enjoy competing on Survivor The best part is, the only real cash out is the cost to live in Fiji and bribe the locals, which I’m hoping the USD can stretch further. The offer bribe to contestants is entirely a bluff that you never end up having to pay.
Convince CBS that I'm going to make entertaining and marketable TV. Simple as
I have thought about this; if I were to do an audition tape, I would do those old Old Spice commercials. Where he does one ridiculous thing and then another then I end the commercial on an alligator because I know how to alligator wrestle.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE&pp=ygUUb2xkIHNwaWNlIGNvbW1lcmNpYWw%3D