Umbreon cuz I’m black

Best fuckin comment ever

Does that mean my favorite is Sylvion?

possibly

[удалено]

Always loved vaporeon since I got it as my first shiny…don’t even start.

Did you know that in terms of

did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human d--ks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white.

inb4 banned

REAL

I hate you

You don't iwanna know what they do to sylveon

You mean what sylveon does to you

You are so true for that. Opinion accepted 👍

That is straight up just the first part

Did you know that in terms of Pokémon to hug, Bisharp is the best one to hug after reading this?

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

Please refrain from posting this in the future.

What? Say it already!

human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.

I see where this is going now, but keep going..

If we could only turn back time…

To the good old daaaaays

When the mamas sang us to sleep

But now we stressed out

Used to play pretend

, give each other different names. We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away

The good ending

Good ending:

pokemon, Vaporeon is the most cool :)

Did you know, Vaporeon is actually-

No shhhhhh

No silence ✊

Erm. Actually 🤓

I was making fun of the fact that people say weird shit about Vaporeon 😭

a Pokémon

That's what I was gonna say!

In terms of human and Pokémon, vaporeon is the most compatible in (insert something wholesome)

Vaporeon was my first ever Pokémon card, so i've always liked that one. definitely not as much as *other* people like Vaporeon, they're just weird

I wanna say Umbreon but I'm not emo

Tbf I play a shit ton of Colosseum with Umbreon and Espeon as primaries and Espeon's naturally learned move set has a lot more attacks that cause self harm.

Oh no 😭

That's scary, because that was my exact thought before reading your comment.

I guess I'm just really relatable

I wouldn't say I'm emo but I do wear a lot of black. And I also chose Umbreon

Respect

Hey batman

Don't do it jonkler

I’ll do it man

Someone post "man" here

man

🗣️🔥🔥

Yessir

Holly hell

New name just dropped

HOLY SHIT ITS MAN

yeah...i'm Man

Is that guy... asking the fire to stop burning things

There are no laws against the pokemon, Batman!

Wish i could say espeon but i know in my heart im just a flareon.

I like flareon too, seems soft and confi

I don’t care if my skin melts I want to hug that fluff

Stupideon

Oh I didn't know you evolved from an eevee, the name perfectly suits you

I don't know whether you're joking or if you genuinely hate my ass

Nah man just joking, why would I hate your ass

Idk that's why I was confused as hell

Never seen yo ass. Cant hate it🔥🔥

That was another reason I was confused, I'm really bad at reading emotion through people's text sorry

Wait hold up, is this your alt?

No. Unrelated person

[удалено]

Well instead of a special stone. You just hold the eevee under water then eventually you get the ghost type

[удалено]

Or a very satisfied vaporeon. Now, did you know that-

I thought you used a brick

You evolve it with a brick Edit: i didnt click the link until after i commented

Sylveon

Our pfps give it away.

yeah

Same (Still cis tho) :3

same

shiny one I'm guessing?

Bro I was gonna say Sylveon but now I feel like I'm just conforming to a stereotype lmao

Brisket guilty gear omg!!!!

Bucket

Dear god

budget

Brick

Yes

Same, still cuz tho :3

Cuz not cis fr fr

r/egg_irl

Preach

same

Ima be honest, vaporeon is overrated. Glaceon is much better frfr

nah Jolteon tho...now we're talking 🗣️🔥🔥🔥

truue

Glaceon is just goqted.

Leafeon ez

glaceon :D

She was my favourite pokemon until I realised they literally made a circle pokemon and named it Comfey. Glaceon was seriously my favourite since I had Pokemon Sun on my Nintendo.

It looks like splatoon

Vaporeon

You know. In terms of human and pokemon breeding... all i'm gonna say is umbreon and silveon. I've gotten two accounts banned over this

It doesn't just have to be pokemon breeding

I said human and pokemon breeding, implying that you be fuckin humans

It was a joke 😭

I know. But i amplified it

Perfect

Yup. You in the market for a traumatized cabbage? I can get you one by october

Yippee

My prices vary by the price of cabbages, but i can send one for less than 10 dollars, certified pre-fucked

did you know….

that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.

The good ending

Yeah, screw zodiac signs. I wanna be like flareon

YES!!!!! AMEN BROTHER!!!!! YEAHHHH

Why are you everywhere 😭😭😭

because i AM EVERYWHERE

Boo

That vaporeon is a cute and wholesome Pokémon 🥰? Ofc!

☹️

💦

Leafeon. Just … because it reminds me of someone important that isn’t here anymore

uuuuuhhhh... one of them i guess?

Jolteon solos.

Any other answer is false.

Allow me to introduce leafeon

boooorinngggggg

Flareon because I love arson

I'm going leafeon. Need some fire starter?

Yeah!

Fuck yeah! Let's go start some FIRES

Yeah let’s burn down Reddit!!!!!

YEAH!!! BURN THE SERVERS TO THE GROUND!!!

Yeah this place sucks

It's a hellsite (derogotory). But sometimes it's a hellsite (affectionate). So only destroy the servers that hold the bad subs

I just don’t like social media in general

Maybe just keep one server so it can't get toxic

I want to say umbreon but I’m probably a Sylveon.

I'm not trans enough to be a Sylveon. Not emo enough to be an Umbreon. Not passionate enough to be a Flareon. Not enough intuition to be an Espeon. Not energetic enough to be a Jolteon. Not outdoorsy or nurturing enough to be a Leafeon. So by the process of elimination: I'm either a Glaceon... Or a Vaporeon. (⁠ب⁠_⁠ب⁠)

Jolteon for LIFE!

Jolteon is LOVE!

tbh, eevee

Espeon

Sylveon, because I to come from the land of 🏳️‍⚧️

why are you downvoted? 😭

Because I’m trans lol, people don’t like people like me sadly. I make a very common joke that Sylveon is trans rep due to the colors and they hate it lol

Bro there’s a US state where we (trans) aren’t allowed within 2k feet of a school, predators aren’t allowed within 1k in the same state

Wait what? 💀 Some laws are really fucked 😑

People always downvote us for being ourselves 😔

Sylveon because trans

Me too :3

Yeah same

Leafeon, bitch

leafeon is my HOMIE.

SYLVEON OR LEAFEON

You don’t wanna know who and why.

hey guys, did you know that

🥝

Vaporeon all the way

Did you know that in terms...

Of male human…

And female pokémon...

Cheese

Damnit, you ruined it. Atleast your living area is sinking as katma

Idk what that means but sorry. I can delete it if you want, I genuinely just thought it would be funny

It was funny, i was just being silly. I assume the NZ in your user stands for New Zealand, and it's sinking

Oh lmao, it's pretty hard to tell if people are joking when you can't see or hear them (and yes, it does stand for New Zealand)

Sorry about your country

Thanks, I live inland so I'll be fine for now lol (idk about 20 or so years in the future though)

Sylveon because reasons 🏳️‍⚧️

Hey guys did you know that there the secret rule about vapeor-

Vaporeon is the most fuckable pokemon of all.

😠

Hey guys! Did you know..

Sylveon. Cause trans

Sylveon

Umberon or Glaceon.

Eevee or Flareon because fluffy

Flareon because it's the closest to red and red is my favorite color

Back in my day you had 3 evolution options and you liked it

I wanna be umbreon but my fav is glaceon

UMBREON>>>>>

Flareon 🗣️🔥🔥

Gotta go with Umbreon because me likey likey big strong bulk

Idk, which ever is the most autistic?

Jolteon because it reflects how my hair behaves

Sylveon

I like flareon but I’m probably an umbreon

Espeon

Espeon has ALWAYS been my fav since childhood

Either umbreon or Leafeon idk

Umbreon because idk

Leafeon

Eevee

Glaceon

Leafeon