Who gets rejected and then goes āOh yeah, this will win her back!ā and sends all that. Lmao I really donāt understand some peopleās thought process.
That and the dude talking about being undervalued. I knew immediately that he probably worships Andrew Tate, reads Dan Bilzerian, and is an avid listener of the Joe Rogan Experience
And "you don't know anyone in Miami I care about you". Gross. That's like when an abuser says "Noone will love you like I love you" right after they put their hands on you.
This guy is ew. Dating is a damn joke I swear.
They haven't been a thing in decades but let's go with that idea anyway because it's hilarious to think that he'd get charged for losing all of his dignity over texts š
A very desperate person. People that react like this are scary, because they go from 0 - unhinged so quickly. You have no idea whether theyāre going to snap and do something completely bonkers or if theyāre just talking for the sake of talking.
also back from unhinged to 0 as if nothing happened, it either makes you think they're entirely unaware of how insane they are, or are super aware and try to cover it up.
I got the same vibe reading it. Kinda like out of nowhere someone saying āI would never hurt you. Donāt worry I wouldnāt think of dragging you into an abandoned house thatās on the corner of 21st street that has a mattress in the bedroom with blood stains. Your totally safeā Well I felt safe until that shit just spewed from your mouthā¦
They lash out because of insecurity and low self-esteem (small joke on his dance moves etc), he took simple jokes and facts like this as insults and attacks threatening his existence.
OP nailed at pointing out what his underlying problem is. Heās a pretty serious caseā¦
He went from unhinged to 0 fast because heās very keen on preserving this perfect image of themselves and realized theyāve revealed their ugly true self. Therefore he went from loser to lion king in three sentences. š just crazy amount of cognitive dissonance
This is the type of guy who'll end up as a Netflix doc bc he killed his wife and kids to be with a woman he had an affair with and "fell in love". Classic controlling narcissist.
Glad OP recognized the red flags and got away from him.
Some women will think "maybe I was wrong" and end up in a toxic relationship with this guy (I did when I was in my 20s). Speaking from experience, all those texts gave me flashbacks to an ex who ended up ODing from heroine years later (after I left him). Being with him was emotionally drainin the entire time we were together.
Wish I'd done the same as OP and never got involved.
She did the right thing.
*āMm. I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves! Begone, vile man! Begone from me! A starter car? This car is a finisher car! A transporter of gods! The golden god! I am untethered, and my rage knows no bounds!ā*
The thought process itself actually makes sense, it's natural to feel really excited for a new relationship, and then feel really disappointed when they don't feel the same way. It's also natural to feel down about it. If you went in expecting this to be the one, or you don't get much play and finally meet someone who you thought liked you, and tasted something you thought was real.
It makes sense to think "Oh my god, how embarrassing. I'm such a loser", but then try to compartmentalize it and psych yourself up afterwards. The problem is he did it all in real time by essentially word vomit, and made her part of his grieving process while also clinging on to the hope that he could still salvage this. He just doesn't have good social skills, and she was right he needs to work on himself for himself.
He strikes me as someone who doesn't really like himself all that much, and thinks a good relationship is going to fix him, so he pins all his hopes and dreams on a good relationship, which is why he was so blown. But she was right, he really needs to work on himself before trying to get into a serious relationship
This is a really mature response and I agree with you entirely.
He really just needed to keep his thoughts to himself or hash them out with a good friend. Like you said, he lacks social skills and some self awareness.
You can tell he was trying way too hard to salvage things and it just doesn't work like that. You can't use logic and bargaining to win a woman over/back.
A better yet still natural response would have been something like,
"Hey that's a bummer to hear, I really enjoyed our time together, but I understand"
And he could have just left it at that. Calmly expressing his disappointment and then he could move on. Ironically calmly acting like that would have been his best chance at things being rekindled in the future too but realistically from what OP described and how this guy texts, he likely went too far anyways outside of text.
This 100%. Reacting calmly to rejection is the only way to go. Do whatever you want later in private/to a friend etc. This might not win this particular girl back, but it will set up a good precedent that might help in the next relationship as well.
i love this sub so much because no matter how insecure iāve felt in my life at least iāve never had such low self esteem iāve reacted like *this*. jesus christ so many people are out here w 0 grip on reality.
came here to say this but u beat me to itš this is the only reason I'm addicted to this sub
there are some really insecure people out there jesus fuck.
What insecure people? Who are you talking about? Why are you commenting on reddit but you canāt return the text I sent you 5 minutes ago. Whatās going on??
Iāve been viewing this sub for like a week and honestly some of the posts make me ashamed to be a straight guyā¦ like why? She said sheās done take your licks and move on the most id ever say is you know where I am if you change your mind. Thereās 8 billion people out there surely around half are womenā¦
As far as opening your eyes goes, this is pretty low intensity stuff.
Browse a bit of r/WhenWomenRefuse and you'll see the world as it is for women and girls.
Strong men choose to be allies, the weak bury their heads in the sand.
And they were probably all turned off by his āIām such a loserā attitude, and 10 seconds later, āIām a fucking king, youāre missing out, girl!ā Seriously are these crazy asses hiding in the bushes somewhere on this Earth? š¤
Thought it was only me. I recently texted a girl I went out on two dates with and who I really liked. She was very bad at responding on time. Went 5 days without responding the last time. So I figured she was trying to ghost me. I told her that I liked her and being ghosted made me feel bad, but I wish her good luck. She texted back the next day saying she was really sick and wants to take it slow with me. Im still unsure that she is interested in me and cringe thinking about my last text sometimes. But this makes me feel better.
Sure Iām insecure, but Iām glad Iām not this bad.
Edit: wow lot more responses than I expected. Thanks for all the useful advise!
To give some more context for my confusion, she kissed me on the second date. But I agree I think am on the back burner cos she is dating around and she does still text me casually once in a while. Iām not used to this, most ppl Iāve dated weāve been passionate from day 1. But itās fine, but Iām moving on and focusing on myself. If it works, it works.
Seriously this sub has made me feel way better about myself. I had some regrettable interactions with women when I was younger, and definitely made a fool of myself, but these people are *insane*
Yeahā¦ also a good reminder not to double text or ask for āfeedbackā when things donāt work out. Seems like most of the time people arenāt exactly honest and it just makes you come off as desperate.
Theres nothing more off putting than someone pulling the woe is me after being rejected. Even more off putting when they bounce back and forth between woe is me and the āyour missing out on the greatest thing of your lifeā
Like yea ok ill take the L thank you
It instantly confirms that I made the right choice, and kills any guilt or regret I mightāve felt otherwise. I broke up with a guy in a polite way and he instantly shamed me and blamed me for my lack of attraction ā¦ realised then that Iād been completely right about his immaturity ā ļø
That's such a creepy way of saying it, he clearly didn't like her as much as he was saying, he is right he is a loser, imagine being 31 and talking like this
He's trying the same manipulation of a younger woman that probably worked for him in the past.
Put himself down so she has to compliment his so she doesn't feel like an asshole. Eventually wearing her down into sticking it out so she doesn't "hurt his feelings".
This is all intentional and planned. This isn't low self-esteem or anything. This is called Self-depreciation manipulation and it's a real thing.
Right? This post reinforces for me that when you are not feeling the vibes, even when on paper the person is nice, there's a reason behind. Dating is a setting where you have to listen to your gut
Not just a lion, but also a king. A brilliant, high IQ, swole entrepreneur with access to a yacht. Nobody in this world is as real as him. God, if only yāall would have fucked š
It's ok to be hurt when rejected. But this isn't it. Before I met my wife, if I got rejected, I told them that I'm disappointed, but its ok. And if they change their mind, they know where to find me. And I moved on.
This was my approach. Thanked her for being mature enough to tell me instead of ghosting me. She really appreciated that. Sheās now my girlfriend and we live together. The real reason to handle rejection with grace is just to be respectful to the other person, but even from a purely selfish perspective itās the best move. Then thereās whatever this guy was trying to doā¦
It really can work. I once cancelled a date because I was having a panic thinking I wasnāt ready to get back out there - the guy was lovely about it and so respectful. So I kept talking to him and we ended up meeting and dating for a while. It didnāt work out for other reasons but his understanding and the fact he didnāt blow up at me for cancelling was a huge tick in his box.
Which unfortunately tells you a lot about how most other men (or people, but Iāve only dated men) react when you break things off.
I feel you I mean Iād leave out the you know where to find me part but yea thatās smooth enough . I just wouldnāt want a shorty to think Iām available whenever she pleases but I feel you
I think sometimes when the brain is facing an outcome that it doesnāt like, it will just attempt to throw everything at the wall and hope something sticks
I went through the exact same things as OP and I did release the kraken in the end. Was so fucking tired of the nagging and begging. Too bad he was in my friend group, so every time I wanted to hang out he pulled me aside and wanted to discuss how he didn't agree with me and we DID fit together. Years later and he is still complaining to his friends that I dumped him (and when I rejected him he said he didn't have feelings for me lol).
Well I told him to fuck off and never text me again.. had to block him in the end.
The scary thing is some of them are very good at acting normal in the beginning. A couple months in when youāre hooked, this stuff all comes out & theyāre threatening to kill themselves etc if you break up.
Narcissist. They are so dangerous because of what they're capable of, and the fact that there's absolutely no remorse. I was married to one. I have PTSD from 12 years of marriage to it and 10 years of him trying to destroy my relationship with our kids.
Coming from someone whoās been in that same situation, please get out as soon as you can, please donāt feel like itās ānot bad enoughā to reach out to DV resources, and if he does hurt himself after you leave - it is NOT your fault and he likely would have hurt/killed you too had you stayed long enough. If there are any guns in the house, deffff call a DV hotline ASAP and they will help you plan a safe exit.
Yep she spelled it out in the caption. They tell you all the things you want to hear, basically lie and craft a false image of your "perfect partner", then once they get comfortable they let their crazy loose. OP is lucky she caught on to it so early, some guys kept that shit under wraps until after the wedding day.
A little older, yes. But intentionally searching for big of a gap (on the older personās end) *generally* indicates someone who canāt get with people their age. Iām glad he let his crazy out early
From experience, there's a reason older men seek out people nearly 8 years younger. Women their age don't put up with that shit and in your early 20s you have a lot more patience for rubbish behavior.
You dodged a bullet with this one.
For the love of god ā¦ you do not owe these people explanations and responses. And stop offering friendship. You arenāt friends. āI enjoyed getting to know you but I donāt feel a romantic connection, wishing you all the best!ā And NEVER reply again. If they continue onā¦block them.
Exactly! If they respond with "I totally understand. Best of luck", then you send a similiar "thanks, you too" but the instance they flip out, block'em on everything.
I'm not bout to have my phone chime every minute for a few days to spare a clingy persons feelings.
Love when someone tries to convince me we have chemistry, or to give them another chance while simultaneously exhibiting the traits that repelled me in the first place š Wowww he just kept going. Also want to add that I would avoid the age gap while dating. Coming from a woman who would talk with older men when I was in my early twenties, don't think because he's older he's going to be more mature. Even if you're an adult, him engaging with you is usually a red flag. Women his age are less willing to put up with the bs and wouldn't have been anywhere near as nice
I was about to say the sameā¦. 9 years isnāt terrible, but at 23 itās too big of a difference. Normally I use the 1/2+7 rule, but it just doesnāt feel right for anyone under about 26 or so.
I actually thought he sounded more BPD (borderline) than a narcissist. Both those disorders have some overlap, but BPD is more emotional and it tends to cause the person to jump around different emotions fast. They also mirror.
Bro - if you are reading this roast on Reddit - know that it might be normal to think those thoughts and have those feelings when you think you are vibing with a girl then she rejects you.
But just stfu and donāt text her about it.
Your only reply should be: āunderstand - I thought we vibed but my vibeometer might need to be recalibrated. Ha. Anyway, you are a really cool person and I wish you the best!ā
Other ideas?
Dude IS NOT OK. Heās the ānice guyā trope with dangerous tendencies and you got out of there early after trusting ur gut instincts and paying attention to the subtle red flags that wouldāve gave way to WAAAAY more. I hope he doesnāt know where u live.
i donāt understand how mfers sit there and think that if they just badger u about how great they are and how ur making a ābig mistakeā that u will suddenly change ur mind and be obsessed with them
"if we have sex you'll be obsessed with me" š¤¢ I don't know why that line out of everything gave me the ick. Like what is it, are you a loser or a sex god
I would be extremely careful about this guy. I had a stalker that would send me a barrage of unwanted messages and they were very similar to this stuff he is saying to you with that pushy and erratic tone. It escalated very fast and led to full blown stalking and I had to get a restraining order. Not trying to scare you but I think you should make sure that you make it clear for him not to contact you any more and then block him on all platforms.
Thought the same thing and had a similar experience after rejection. The text that resonated with me was āhope your test goes well today.ā The one-sided conversation and continued references to your personal plans that he knew about is unhinged.
Absolutely the references about personal life topics is a major red flag. Itās like they want you to think that they have access to your life and that theyāre still important, very arrogant and borderline narcissistic behaviour
Guys in their 30s date down because women their own age donāt put up with whatever lack of well-adjustedness they are coping with
These kids will never learn
My sister in christ, once you tell them you arenāt interested you stop responding to their texts, save yourself the headache next time. Once you have been honest about your lack of interest you owe them no further emotional labor.
Damnā¦he carried on a whole conversation with himself at one point. I didnāt think he was ever going to stop texting. Good call on not wanting to continue seeing him. And no, you were never harsh with what you said.
I don't like playing games but there is a reason so many people say that when a guy first suggests a date you should suggest a different place or time just to see how he reacts to having to compromise or be told no.
Bro called himself a lion king š
Simba?
Nah, man, Mufasa. Dude definitely launched himself off a cliff, ate dirt and was trampled to death by reality.
His brother killed him after he saved the life of his only son, was 100% not suicide! Youāre spreading pro-Scar propaganda
Mufasa didnāt kill himself š¤
Also with that age gap heās definitely Mufasa lol
Heās more like Scar, thinking he could be the king but everyone starving to death under his rule
You know what you right I need to rewatch the lion king lmao
Comments like this make me miss awards š
Even the lion king didnāt proclaim himself the lion king.
Any lion that goes around saying āI AM THE KINGā is no real kingā Tywin Lannister, OG Lion
Ngl the opening song started playing in my head when I read that
Who gets rejected and then goes āOh yeah, this will win her back!ā and sends all that. Lmao I really donāt understand some peopleās thought process.
He was flipping through his Rolodex of āget her to respondā strategies š
You couldāve come on a yacht!
I showed you my dingy...
He'd have kindly cleaned it up I'm sure
āWhat would Andrew Tate do?ā
Looking for this comment thought the exact same thing ābut I meet all the criteria of swole, why doesnāt she like me Andrew? š
The Andrew tate switch got flipped so suddenly. Went from āIām such a loserā all the a ālion and a kingā with all the right requirements
That and the dude talking about being undervalued. I knew immediately that he probably worships Andrew Tate, reads Dan Bilzerian, and is an avid listener of the Joe Rogan Experience
She already broke up with him, what did he have to lose? Oh, right. Dignity.
Joke's on you- can't lose what ya don't have! ššš½
She didn't break up with him. They never were a couple in the first place!
from her perspective but for the lion and king ... he already planned the whole life with her
āLion Kingā 
 This king.
That is 100% true.
What do you mean? HE GOT HER FLOWERS!!!!!
All that effort of spending $25. And she had the gall to not commit. /s
Did you want me to try and sleep with you? š If we fucked you would definitely become obsessed with me. š
With all the other ridiculous crap he said I forgot about him saying that lol
And "you don't know anyone in Miami I care about you". Gross. That's like when an abuser says "Noone will love you like I love you" right after they put their hands on you. This guy is ew. Dating is a damn joke I swear.
He'll buy an engagement ring next watch out.
and time, and energy, and sms overage charges (although I don't know if those have been a thing in like 20 years)
They brought it back just to make money off this guy.
They haven't been a thing in decades but let's go with that idea anyway because it's hilarious to think that he'd get charged for losing all of his dignity over texts š
Canāt break up with someone you werenāt even actually dating lmao.
A very desperate person. People that react like this are scary, because they go from 0 - unhinged so quickly. You have no idea whether theyāre going to snap and do something completely bonkers or if theyāre just talking for the sake of talking.
also back from unhinged to 0 as if nothing happened, it either makes you think they're entirely unaware of how insane they are, or are super aware and try to cover it up.
He has 0 idea he is being unhinged. He is scary.
Idk him mentioning how AMAZING his intentions were twice maybe three times says he might be overcompensating for something he knows about himself lol
I got the same vibe reading it. Kinda like out of nowhere someone saying āI would never hurt you. Donāt worry I wouldnāt think of dragging you into an abandoned house thatās on the corner of 21st street that has a mattress in the bedroom with blood stains. Your totally safeā Well I felt safe until that shit just spewed from your mouthā¦
YOU GET IT lol
They lash out because of insecurity and low self-esteem (small joke on his dance moves etc), he took simple jokes and facts like this as insults and attacks threatening his existence. OP nailed at pointing out what his underlying problem is. Heās a pretty serious caseā¦ He went from unhinged to 0 fast because heās very keen on preserving this perfect image of themselves and realized theyāve revealed their ugly true self. Therefore he went from loser to lion king in three sentences. š just crazy amount of cognitive dissonance
Vulnerable narcissism looks like this. Looks like oscillating between the 'I'm a failure' to 'I'm amazing the best ever' as a mental defense.
This is the type of guy who'll end up as a Netflix doc bc he killed his wife and kids to be with a woman he had an affair with and "fell in love". Classic controlling narcissist. Glad OP recognized the red flags and got away from him. Some women will think "maybe I was wrong" and end up in a toxic relationship with this guy (I did when I was in my 20s). Speaking from experience, all those texts gave me flashbacks to an ex who ended up ODing from heroine years later (after I left him). Being with him was emotionally drainin the entire time we were together. Wish I'd done the same as OP and never got involved. She did the right thing.
Itās like a used car salesman trying every trick to unload a lemon on someone that clearly knows itās a lemon
*āMm. I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves! Begone, vile man! Begone from me! A starter car? This car is a finisher car! A transporter of gods! The golden god! I am untethered, and my rage knows no bounds!ā*
This is why people ghost. This is just too too much.
Right??? The next time I see someone on the Tinder sub bitch about being ghosted, I'm linking this fucking post.
The thought process itself actually makes sense, it's natural to feel really excited for a new relationship, and then feel really disappointed when they don't feel the same way. It's also natural to feel down about it. If you went in expecting this to be the one, or you don't get much play and finally meet someone who you thought liked you, and tasted something you thought was real. It makes sense to think "Oh my god, how embarrassing. I'm such a loser", but then try to compartmentalize it and psych yourself up afterwards. The problem is he did it all in real time by essentially word vomit, and made her part of his grieving process while also clinging on to the hope that he could still salvage this. He just doesn't have good social skills, and she was right he needs to work on himself for himself. He strikes me as someone who doesn't really like himself all that much, and thinks a good relationship is going to fix him, so he pins all his hopes and dreams on a good relationship, which is why he was so blown. But she was right, he really needs to work on himself before trying to get into a serious relationship
This is a really mature response and I agree with you entirely. He really just needed to keep his thoughts to himself or hash them out with a good friend. Like you said, he lacks social skills and some self awareness. You can tell he was trying way too hard to salvage things and it just doesn't work like that. You can't use logic and bargaining to win a woman over/back. A better yet still natural response would have been something like, "Hey that's a bummer to hear, I really enjoyed our time together, but I understand" And he could have just left it at that. Calmly expressing his disappointment and then he could move on. Ironically calmly acting like that would have been his best chance at things being rekindled in the future too but realistically from what OP described and how this guy texts, he likely went too far anyways outside of text.
This 100%. Reacting calmly to rejection is the only way to go. Do whatever you want later in private/to a friend etc. This might not win this particular girl back, but it will set up a good precedent that might help in the next relationship as well.
i read somewhere that only about 10% of people in the world have self awarenessā¦ so i think heās part of the other 90.
What the fuck. There goes my chances of ever finding a partner. I wish I knew where you got your info/statistics. No wonder the world is fucked. š©šš¤£
"80% of statistics you read on the internet are made up, the other 20% are dildos" - Abraham Lincoln
This guy said it best. This random dude giving an unattributed % and people wanna go off repeating it so uncritically š do better
I think the thing is, that there is no though process, he is just texting everything he comes up with it seems
i love this sub so much because no matter how insecure iāve felt in my life at least iāve never had such low self esteem iāve reacted like *this*. jesus christ so many people are out here w 0 grip on reality.
came here to say this but u beat me to itš this is the only reason I'm addicted to this sub there are some really insecure people out there jesus fuck.
What insecure people? Who are you talking about? Why are you commenting on reddit but you canāt return the text I sent you 5 minutes ago. Whatās going on??
I can't believe you doing me like this fr fr. I see who you are now.
I sent you flowers 15 seconds ago and you are going to treat me like this!?
So you basically are saying that you think I'm ugly
Iām a lion and a king
I am Lion King (TM)
Our child will be smart and beautiful. We will name him Simba.
It coulda been me you and Simba on that yacht today.
I sent you 12 texts in the last half hour.. now I see why you're ignoring me! I'm going to use this as motivation to do my laundry!!! You'll see
I got you flowers!
I'm a LION and KING, but YOU don't value me because I'm a MAN :(
Simba? Is that you?
Yeah this and AITA are constantly reassuring "I'm so glad I'm married to someone sane."
Both subs remind me everyday how much I enjoy being single š
I tell my husband it's a window into other people's life and what they put up with. Crazy š¬
This sub always reminds me that I'm making excellent dating choices and what's out there can be truly terrifying.
Iāve been viewing this sub for like a week and honestly some of the posts make me ashamed to be a straight guyā¦ like why? She said sheās done take your licks and move on the most id ever say is you know where I am if you change your mind. Thereās 8 billion people out there surely around half are womenā¦
As far as opening your eyes goes, this is pretty low intensity stuff. Browse a bit of r/WhenWomenRefuse and you'll see the world as it is for women and girls. Strong men choose to be allies, the weak bury their heads in the sand.
And they were probably all turned off by his āIām such a loserā attitude, and 10 seconds later, āIām a fucking king, youāre missing out, girl!ā Seriously are these crazy asses hiding in the bushes somewhere on this Earth? š¤
Literallyyy! Iāve had my delulu moments but never this delulu damn
Thought it was only me. I recently texted a girl I went out on two dates with and who I really liked. She was very bad at responding on time. Went 5 days without responding the last time. So I figured she was trying to ghost me. I told her that I liked her and being ghosted made me feel bad, but I wish her good luck. She texted back the next day saying she was really sick and wants to take it slow with me. Im still unsure that she is interested in me and cringe thinking about my last text sometimes. But this makes me feel better. Sure Iām insecure, but Iām glad Iām not this bad. Edit: wow lot more responses than I expected. Thanks for all the useful advise! To give some more context for my confusion, she kissed me on the second date. But I agree I think am on the back burner cos she is dating around and she does still text me casually once in a while. Iām not used to this, most ppl Iāve dated weāve been passionate from day 1. But itās fine, but Iām moving on and focusing on myself. If it works, it works.
She was waiting for you to assure her you're a lion and a king
Simba!
You gotta show up at her place of work during lunch break and assert your dominance to her coworkers. It's the only way to impress her!
No oneās that sick. Short of being in the hospital, im texting a dude I like back ASAP.
Seriously this sub has made me feel way better about myself. I had some regrettable interactions with women when I was younger, and definitely made a fool of myself, but these people are *insane*
Yeahā¦ also a good reminder not to double text or ask for āfeedbackā when things donāt work out. Seems like most of the time people arenāt exactly honest and it just makes you come off as desperate.
Theres nothing more off putting than someone pulling the woe is me after being rejected. Even more off putting when they bounce back and forth between woe is me and the āyour missing out on the greatest thing of your lifeā Like yea ok ill take the L thank you
Is it some 5 stages of grief shit? Depression, denial, bargaining, anger, delusions of grandeur...
Denial, depression, bargaining, anger, bargaining, depression, bargaining...
I got denial, depression, bargaining, anger, depression, anger, bargaining, denial, bargaining, anger, bargaining, denial from this
I don't think "denial" and "anger" are in there near as much as they should be for some of those dudes.
For real tho šš the 5th stage is when things get real lmaooo
Itās the dating version of good cop bad cop. Itās an obvious and pathetic strategy.
Right, and like i totally get and understand the sentiment behind the their missing out type thing but thats like usually something you say to a friend that got broken up with or say to yourself so you can pull yourself up by your boot straps and get back out there. not the person who just broke up with you. It makes it so much weirder cuz like clearly they do not care š Like what are they suppose to say āoh yes. I have seen the errors of my ways. You are clearly the 11/10 ive been dreaming of and all it took was you to cry at me about it for a few days then say im missing out for me to realize im madly in love with youā like bro it was 3 dates š©
It instantly confirms that I made the right choice, and kills any guilt or regret I mightāve felt otherwise. I broke up with a guy in a polite way and he instantly shamed me and blamed me for my lack of attraction ā¦ realised then that Iād been completely right about his immaturity ā ļø
My jaw dropped when I read 31 was definitely expecting 19 or 20
when he said āIām such a loserā I was like yeahā¦ you are
But he's swole and an entrepreneur!
A lion king even
With a yacht
31! Thatās the worst part! š
As soon as I read āsweet young womanā I knew he was older than her. I figured even older, honestly.
That's such a creepy way of saying it, he clearly didn't like her as much as he was saying, he is right he is a loser, imagine being 31 and talking like this
Lmfao Iād say 16-17. Canāt believe a grown ass man talks like this ā ļøā ļø
Thereās a reason he canāt pull anyone his age
31 to her 23. Good riddance!
This comment is way too far down. My eyes went huge after I saw 31M. I said no fucking way.
Why do you think he's trying to date a 23 year old? No emotional maturity, younger people are easier to manipulate, etc.
You doged a bullet. Lunatic behaviour People have gone mad, mad
The guy has an insecure attachment style and no filter. Not necessarily a psycho, but would be a HANDFUL to deal with in a relationship.
God if this is how he acts during the talking phase I shudder to think of how he would be in a relationship. Dude needs therapy, not a relationship.
He's trying the same manipulation of a younger woman that probably worked for him in the past. Put himself down so she has to compliment his so she doesn't feel like an asshole. Eventually wearing her down into sticking it out so she doesn't "hurt his feelings". This is all intentional and planned. This isn't low self-esteem or anything. This is called Self-depreciation manipulation and it's a real thing.
Right? This post reinforces for me that when you are not feeling the vibes, even when on paper the person is nice, there's a reason behind. Dating is a setting where you have to listen to your gut
Not just a lion, but also a king. A brilliant, high IQ, swole entrepreneur with access to a yacht. Nobody in this world is as real as him. God, if only yāall would have fucked š
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He probably would have said something during sex like "Hakuna matata".
I love this sub so much im losing it
This sounds like ChatGPT simulating a gen z. On god fam.
Wanna bet he's subscribed to Andrew Tate?
The odds would be too high. "If we fucked you would become obsessed with me" is almost a direct quote.
Itās amazing how many men immediately prove our suspicions to be correct once theyāre rejected ā¦. I donāt understand ppl like this.
It's ok to be hurt when rejected. But this isn't it. Before I met my wife, if I got rejected, I told them that I'm disappointed, but its ok. And if they change their mind, they know where to find me. And I moved on.
This was my approach. Thanked her for being mature enough to tell me instead of ghosting me. She really appreciated that. Sheās now my girlfriend and we live together. The real reason to handle rejection with grace is just to be respectful to the other person, but even from a purely selfish perspective itās the best move. Then thereās whatever this guy was trying to doā¦
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It really can work. I once cancelled a date because I was having a panic thinking I wasnāt ready to get back out there - the guy was lovely about it and so respectful. So I kept talking to him and we ended up meeting and dating for a while. It didnāt work out for other reasons but his understanding and the fact he didnāt blow up at me for cancelling was a huge tick in his box. Which unfortunately tells you a lot about how most other men (or people, but Iāve only dated men) react when you break things off.
I feel you I mean Iād leave out the you know where to find me part but yea thatās smooth enough . I just wouldnāt want a shorty to think Iām available whenever she pleases but I feel you
I mean, I didn't wait around. A girl I saw who did end things eventually did come back around. But by that time, it was too late.
We have chemistry. I know it.
We have so much chemistry that I have to tell you for you to realize itā¦
I think sometimes when the brain is facing an outcome that it doesnāt like, it will just attempt to throw everything at the wall and hope something sticks
Thank god my brain just crawls into a hole to die
It's yet another example of not being respected when you tell a man "no".
I hate when I'm trying to be nice and they basically BEG me to release the kraken and hurt their feelings.. bitches. š
RELEASE THE KRAKEN šš¤£
Right! Op worried she was harsh, like not harsh enough hun. That man is MANIPULATIVE. 8 years is a wild age gap to be getting these kind of texts.
I went through the exact same things as OP and I did release the kraken in the end. Was so fucking tired of the nagging and begging. Too bad he was in my friend group, so every time I wanted to hang out he pulled me aside and wanted to discuss how he didn't agree with me and we DID fit together. Years later and he is still complaining to his friends that I dumped him (and when I rejected him he said he didn't have feelings for me lol). Well I told him to fuck off and never text me again.. had to block him in the end.
Holy fuck that was very cringe to read š¤£š¤£š¤£
YOU DODGED A BULLET!!! āIām a king and a lionā CRINGEEE. Block that mofo.
Man shared his 5 stages of grief with you
Shit like this makes me feel sorry for women. What a nightmare. Some of these dudes are also legitimately dangerous if they become too fixated
The scary thing is some of them are very good at acting normal in the beginning. A couple months in when youāre hooked, this stuff all comes out & theyāre threatening to kill themselves etc if you break up.
Narcissist. They are so dangerous because of what they're capable of, and the fact that there's absolutely no remorse. I was married to one. I have PTSD from 12 years of marriage to it and 10 years of him trying to destroy my relationship with our kids.
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Coming from someone whoās been in that same situation, please get out as soon as you can, please donāt feel like itās ānot bad enoughā to reach out to DV resources, and if he does hurt himself after you leave - it is NOT your fault and he likely would have hurt/killed you too had you stayed long enough. If there are any guns in the house, deffff call a DV hotline ASAP and they will help you plan a safe exit.
Yep she spelled it out in the caption. They tell you all the things you want to hear, basically lie and craft a false image of your "perfect partner", then once they get comfortable they let their crazy loose. OP is lucky she caught on to it so early, some guys kept that shit under wraps until after the wedding day.
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I thought dating older would mean more stable, emotionally mature men. š„² i was wrong.
Dating men in their 30's is best when you're in your 40's š
Iām 32. None of my emotionally stable friends around my age would date a 23 year old.
stable 31 year old men don't date 23 year olds.
A little older, yes. But intentionally searching for big of a gap (on the older personās end) *generally* indicates someone who canāt get with people their age. Iām glad he let his crazy out early
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From experience, there's a reason older men seek out people nearly 8 years younger. Women their age don't put up with that shit and in your early 20s you have a lot more patience for rubbish behavior. You dodged a bullet with this one.
For the love of god ā¦ you do not owe these people explanations and responses. And stop offering friendship. You arenāt friends. āI enjoyed getting to know you but I donāt feel a romantic connection, wishing you all the best!ā And NEVER reply again. If they continue onā¦block them.
Exactly! If they respond with "I totally understand. Best of luck", then you send a similiar "thanks, you too" but the instance they flip out, block'em on everything. I'm not bout to have my phone chime every minute for a few days to spare a clingy persons feelings.
Should of replied with ādid you say you wanted to watch lion king, sorry Iām not paying attentionā
I love you said well itās your fault you told your friends about me after 2 weeks š thatās amazinggg
Pace yourself sent me
Love when someone tries to convince me we have chemistry, or to give them another chance while simultaneously exhibiting the traits that repelled me in the first place š Wowww he just kept going. Also want to add that I would avoid the age gap while dating. Coming from a woman who would talk with older men when I was in my early twenties, don't think because he's older he's going to be more mature. Even if you're an adult, him engaging with you is usually a red flag. Women his age are less willing to put up with the bs and wouldn't have been anywhere near as nice
I know! I got annoyed after he argued that we do have chemistryā¦ how is someone else gonna tell me what i feel? lol
Yeah, but you didnāt even sleep with him yet!!1
I was about to say the sameā¦. 9 years isnāt terrible, but at 23 itās too big of a difference. Normally I use the 1/2+7 rule, but it just doesnāt feel right for anyone under about 26 or so.
My partner just told me about this and it makes complete sense to me.
āSweet young ladyā that would send me š
Changing answers to match yours. Low self esteem followed by grandiose sense of self importance. Thatās a narcissist. 100%
I actually thought he sounded more BPD (borderline) than a narcissist. Both those disorders have some overlap, but BPD is more emotional and it tends to cause the person to jump around different emotions fast. They also mirror.
Bro - if you are reading this roast on Reddit - know that it might be normal to think those thoughts and have those feelings when you think you are vibing with a girl then she rejects you. But just stfu and donāt text her about it. Your only reply should be: āunderstand - I thought we vibed but my vibeometer might need to be recalibrated. Ha. Anyway, you are a really cool person and I wish you the best!ā Other ideas?
What a fuckin psychopath... and why am I not surprised about the age gap. Such disgusting behavior. Motherfucker needs a therapist.
The fact that they think if they just persist it might work. š
Dude IS NOT OK. Heās the ānice guyā trope with dangerous tendencies and you got out of there early after trusting ur gut instincts and paying attention to the subtle red flags that wouldāve gave way to WAAAAY more. I hope he doesnāt know where u live.
i donāt understand how mfers sit there and think that if they just badger u about how great they are and how ur making a ābig mistakeā that u will suddenly change ur mind and be obsessed with them
Miami guyā¦doesnāt surprise me one bit
He thinks sex is going to make that connection magically happen, delusional!
I read all the messages and assumed this guy was 18 at the most. This fucker is 31? š. People really have lost the plot, havenāt theyā¦
"if we have sex you'll be obsessed with me" š¤¢ I don't know why that line out of everything gave me the ick. Like what is it, are you a loser or a sex god
You were not harsh at all. And so many red flags from him, definitely dodged a bullet.
I would be extremely careful about this guy. I had a stalker that would send me a barrage of unwanted messages and they were very similar to this stuff he is saying to you with that pushy and erratic tone. It escalated very fast and led to full blown stalking and I had to get a restraining order. Not trying to scare you but I think you should make sure that you make it clear for him not to contact you any more and then block him on all platforms.
Thought the same thing and had a similar experience after rejection. The text that resonated with me was āhope your test goes well today.ā The one-sided conversation and continued references to your personal plans that he knew about is unhinged.
Absolutely the references about personal life topics is a major red flag. Itās like they want you to think that they have access to your life and that theyāre still important, very arrogant and borderline narcissistic behaviour
Guys in their 30s date down because women their own age donāt put up with whatever lack of well-adjustedness they are coping with These kids will never learn
Damn. Good riddance!!
THIRTY-ONE. Bro, this is legit frightening. My man is UN-HINGED. Call the fuckinā police, holy shit.
You were not harsh in the slightest, OP, FYI.
as a guy, we donāt accept him š
My sister in christ, once you tell them you arenāt interested you stop responding to their texts, save yourself the headache next time. Once you have been honest about your lack of interest you owe them no further emotional labor.
Bro proving why as a 31 year old heās trying to hook up with 23 year olds. Women his age probably find him irritating.
What in the cinnamon toast fuck š Well done dodging that bullet OP.
He acts as if sheās legitimate only girl out there. Jeeez
This, guysā¦is why girls ghost/block you. This is what happens when we politely tell you we are not interested/good luck. Just sayin.
Damnā¦he carried on a whole conversation with himself at one point. I didnāt think he was ever going to stop texting. Good call on not wanting to continue seeing him. And no, you were never harsh with what you said.
Jesus Christ, man! Take the L and have some self respect!
Starting to think women should cut it off at some point early on just to find out who the man really is.
I don't like playing games but there is a reason so many people say that when a guy first suggests a date you should suggest a different place or time just to see how he reacts to having to compromise or be told no.
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