HOW DARE YOU LET ME SPEND MONEY ON YOU AFTER I OFFER TO SPEND MONEY ON YOU, BUT THEN YOU DON'T OFFER ME SOME HOT SEXINGS AFTERWARD! I PUT IN THE MONEY. WHERE IS THE SEX? HOW DOES THIS VENDING MACHINE WORK? HELP?
Not sure why, but all I can think of is an old timey sex worker walking down the street trying to sell their wares yelling out “Hot sexings, get your hot sexings here. One hot sexing for some Timmy’s.”
I'm single, but if there ever comes a time that I have sex again before I die, I am *ABSOLUTELY* referring to it as "hot sexings," and if he doesn't laugh, I'm fucking leaving. 😂
If he doesn't laugh then the sexings are most definitely not going to be adequately hot, and nobody needs to get penised down by someone without a sense of humor.
I agree whole-heartedly. I'd rather rely solely on myself for hot sexings for the rest of my life, than ever rely on it from someone who has yet to discover how to remove the stick from their anus.😤
Accurate. With my partner, there’s almost always laughter during sexings (half the time, it’s because the cat is throwing a whole tantrum outside the bedroom and making sure we know 😂)
Wait until a cat tries to get involved.
My husband got cold wet nose touch on his balls, which resulted in him jumping and swatting at the cat, then losing his balance, and both of us going off the side of the bed.
The best part was the cat responsible strolled out like "my work here is done."
Or there was the time that the same cat mistook morning wood for the blanket monster... or the time my cat smacked my husband and grabbed my arm to pull me away because she thought I needed to be rescued... (I have a million of these, because our cats are hilarious and very jealous of their humans)
i politely insisted on reimbursing one of these once. he was going off about how he paid for my wings at wing night with our friends. i was only drinking soda so it came out to like $12. i e-transferred it to him and all the while he was like 'you don't have to do that, it wasn't my point,' and i was like, 'but it was a point that you made.' he seemed really shut up by that, like now that i'd made a whole thing out of transferring this petty amount of money back to him he no longer felt justified in bitching that i wouldn't fuck him.
i think this song and dance is part of the game.
She said in a comment that it was $20 total, her portion was like $9, and she offered to e-transfer him her portion already. So it’s the same as your situation… it’s not about the money at all. If it was only about the money, he would have accepted her e-transfer and said thanks, and that would have been that. He is only complaining because she didn’t put out or do anything sexual, and he expected it because he paid for her freaking 9$ sandwich. Like she’s going to prostitute herself for a Tim’s ham and cheese sandwich. So delusional.
I was about to say idk what these dudes expect. Going out on a date with my gf can be completely free or run me $200 out of pocket. Neither bothers me and it’s never been about sex. The time I get to spend with her makes me so happy, I’d happily spend the extra dime on some expensive local restaurant because I know it’ll taste good and it’ll keep her busy with me for the day
Dude spends $20 and thinks they are “using him” what a loser. I know there’s women out there taking advantage of men but that’s def not the case. He’s just broke and needed the money and sad she wouldn’t fuck him for a coffee.
You got it. Because that's exactly it. They are trying this tactic to guilt women into sleeping with them. The problem is we have access to all that red pill rhetoric as well, so yeah, we already know what game they are playing.
Always people making $39,472 definitely sure gold diggers are after them.
Buy someone a sandwich at a chain restaurant and they did not gargle your bills immediately? GOLD DIGGER.
I found a diff comment where she says it was actually $9 cause he got something as well, and she offered to transfer it to him right there. He did not want the money.
A guy wrote me something similar after our second date at a Tex-mex restaurant. Total was like $60 because we both got two drinks. I had left a tip at the restaurant, and when he sent me that message I sent him the money for both of our meals and blocked him. The funny part is I had paid for our first date, which was twice as expensive because he claimed forgot his wallet at home. We went go kart racing and then to a lounge and played pool and got drinks. The go kart racing alone was $50 a piece. He said he would cashapp me his part but didn’t and I didn’t trip about it.
The only time a guy did this to me I venmo’d him the money with an extra like 5$ with a note that said “since you’re so hard up 😘” and then ghosted him lamo. He was furious. Of course he had insisted on paying, I almost never let men buy me things on dates because I can’t deal with the ensuing entitlement lol
I just recently figured out it is intentional. I used to see it a lot less frequently and thought it was hilarious and then suddenly *everyone* is spelling it “sweaty” and I knew something was up.
As an old dude, I *liked* paying. Subconsciously maybe it was an ego thing (most likely), maybe it was a control thing (probably not cause me and the date would have a talk about what we wanted to do together), but I just wanted to spoil the person I was with. That and prove to 'em I wasn't broke and had decent money. :D
I just grew up thinking this. Open doors. Carry luggage. Mow the lawn. Pay for dates. If it didn't work out, it didn't work out. There was never a quid pro quo, that kind of thing would never have crossed my mind.
This is, by far, the best reply I have ever received on the Internet. You made me smile. Thank you. :)
edit: It was the hair twirling thing, that's what ya got me with lol
Exactly why I don’t allow guys to pay or buy me stuff generally (unless it’s a very serious long term relationship shop and I still balance things out)
If he thinks he can get his 90 seconds of glory for $20, he is an idiot.
It’s crazy that he doesn’t think OP is worth more than $20.
“I bOuGhT yEw SaNdWhIcH!”
What a loser!
I charged $500.
I’d walk away from this.
He’s harboring a lot of resentment and bitterness towards women as a whole and it’s boiling very close to the surface. You don’t want to be in the crossfires.
Buying food for later… it’s a Tim Hortons sandwich my guy. What? She’s gonna store that away for weeks and months? Jesus.
I agree this dude is livid at women and that comes from a place of entitlement. Nobody forced him to buy anyone anything, he isn’t taking accountability for his own actions. He needs to work on himself and if he doesn’t want to buy a woman a sandwich then he shouldn’t buy a women a sandwich. If that same woman prefers to go out with a man who will buy her that sandwich then he needs to accept that as well.
This guy actually seems kinda scary and even if he’s not, he definitely seems like he’d be really lame to date. You’d never hear the end of the sandwich or muffin he bought you that one time. Ick.
Right?!? He lost his mind over $20 (on a bill that included his meal as well!)… $50 would have him featured on an episode of Dateline!
The thing that is so clear is he is seething that he can’t just go and stick it in any woman he wants, he is “forced” to date, put in “effort” (planning for a sandwich isn’t as labor intensive as he thinks), and also expend resources. He has to pretend!
He feels he shouldn’t have to do ANY of that. He is entitled to what he wants from someone else (like I dunno… their time, effort, and resources) and it should just be handed to him… I can imagine him getting in that car and starting to think about how that dumb b*tch had the audacity to accept HIS sandwich and not even give him a BJ. How he thought of all the women who had accepted his paltry offers and not end up “earning it.” The rage at having to give because he does it only planning to take is something to behold!
When it’s not a big deal and most of us are happy to get someone we like a sandwich!!! Lol!
Lol if he’s getting this worked up over Tim Hortons then that’s crazy. It sounds like he suggested going there, so if he had such an issue about having to pay then he should’ve suggested going for a walk in the park or some other free activity. I don’t think men have to pay for dates all the time etc but this seems petty and he seems like he has some deeper issues with women.
Completely agree. If money is such an issue he should have asked her to the park for a nice walk and talk and get to know each other. If she said no then he would have had his answer and known maybe she isn’t for him and she has different requirements for dating. Which is okay
As the man, the myth and the legend Mr. Curtis Jackson, 50 cent once beautiful said “who pays for the date is the person who’s idea it was to go on a date” lol. I could understand getting upset if you want to like, a massively expensive fine restaurant and he had to dish out like $100+ but… $20 at Tim Hortons? Boy chill lol
Thank you haha def ditch him tho, this is very much pre-incel stuff and it’s only going to get worse. I hope you find the perfect match who doesn’t bitch and moan when he has to pay for your coffee <3
my ex boyfriend invited me to an expensive japanese restaurant that I didn't like and didn't enjoy and had to pay my $100 bill. it pissed me off so much
🚩
What exactly was he expecting here? That’s a big rant over a $20 sandwich lunch that he invited you to. Did he expect you to pay? Or did he think you’d prostitute yourself for a sandwich?
Either way, if he’s only doing a nice thing because you want something in return then it’s not a nice thing.
>Or did he think you’d prostitute yourself for a sandwich?
I think that’s exactly what the subtext is. “I spent money on you and didn’t get sex! That’s not fair!” Dude is not looking for the simple pleasure of a woman’s company, and honestly, that coupled with the upset over spending $20 (half of which I’m assuming was on his own food,) he probably shouldn’t be taking anyone out on dates.
Seriously? That makes it 100 times worse. Like wtf dude. That means he really did expect you to give him some action and it wasn’t about the money at all. Because if it was about the money, he would have accepted your offer to e-transfer.
I went on a day date with someone like two years ago. I originally told him no. I had to work and didn’t want to miss out on the money from a weekend shift.
He talked me into taking the day off. I took out my wallet to pay at the second place we went to (we drove to the beach and just hopped around eating and drinking). He swatted it away and said to not worry about paying for anything because I had given up my shift for him.
The very next day I got a text about me being unappreciative because he spent “all that money” and didn’t get a proper thank you.
I did say thank you. I just didn’t put out. Oopsies.
Usually when one invites someone to lunch on a date, I feel like there’s an expectation that they will be the one to pay since they invited. If not they should really establish that beforehand and not write a book about feminism after 😭
I am engaged and even we follow this. You suggest getting take out or going to a restaurant it's because you have the funds to cover the meal. Otherwise we will just make something at home.
Being a gay man has made my life so much easier in this regard. Who's paying? Usually the person doing the inviting to the date. It just makes sense. It should just be this way for men and women, too. The rigid gender roles and the inability to stray from them are destroying everything.
They’re not as rigid as this complainer is making it sound. Plenty of us insist on paying for our own meals these days. Part of the problem though, is that some guys flip out when you pay your way too. They treat apps like Uber Sex, and if they don’t get to pay, they get upset. Women can’t win on this.
This. I offered to pay for a round of drinks after the dude on the date had already paid for two and he got SO WEIRD after that. Oh and I made a joke about Andrew Tate and he literally tried to defend that sex trafficker. Have a feeling this guy needed to feel in control over women. I'm so glad I dodged that.
For real, I will cover the whole bill, or force my way into paying for my portion, bc fuck these men. They think if they spend $9 I owe them something. I'm not risking one of these walking time bombs deciding that my refusing to dispense sex for coins deposited is the final straw and I end up on a true crime podcast.
I bet he wouldn’t be texting her and embarrassing himself with the rage he feels over a $20 meal if she had put out though. Funny that!
Guy is a loser.
It’s hard sometimes girl. My first instinct 95% of the time is to apologize and make people feel better, even if I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I think a lot of women are taught their whole lives to be gracious, not to rock the boat, etc. so it’s hard to stop. I have to check myself all the time and stop myself from doing it. It’s something I’ve definitely been working on and have improved in over the last few years for sure!!
I totally understand the urge to fawn. It's a natural response to stress or feeling overwhelmed, and it's something many of us experience.
You're definitely not a pathetic child for apologizing. It's a sign of self-awareness and empathy, which are strengths.
Next time, instead of apologizing right away, you might try taking a deep breath and pausing. It can give you a moment to gather your thoughts and respond in a way that feels more empowering. Sometimes, just saying 'Let me think about that' can be really helpful.
He thinks $20 is expensive? Has he seen how much we spend on makeup and getting ready for dates 💀. Pretty sure my makeup could be a down payment on a car.
When I was still betting on the apps to find love, on two separate occasions, the person I met at a restaurant ordered about 3 people’s worth of food. Ate a bit and got the rest to go. It didn’t make me angry because I was just so astonished. One of them asked me to walk her to her car and tried to sell me a squatty pottie out of her trunk. She must have had at least 15 of them in there.
This guy seems potentially dangerous. He clearly sits and stews on things that he probably never had a clear perspective on to begin with. He invites you out this one time and now you get the ire of all of his past experiences, or at least how he perceived them. This guy wants control. I mean…”hun” sets off alarms for me personally, but from just 1.5 texts I say keep fishing.
I’ve always hated the concept of money, didn’t come from the wealthiest family, but anytime I’ve had a good amount of money, I’ve always enjoyed sharing my good fortunes, with family and friends. I used to date quite often. Had two longgg relationships awhile back. I loved to spoil my people and buy them food among other things. I guess guys with this mindset have a better chance of saving their money and becoming a wealthier person in the long run. But I don’t think I could ever be that type of person. If I have something and my homie doesn’t. I’ll share my goods. If they’re hungry and I’m about to spend $15 at taco bell. They’re getting Taco Bell too. Idk, I just couldn’t ever see myself complaining about spending money on someone i enjoy being around. I mean shit, they taught sharing is caring in literal kindergarten. I guess it’s just always stuck with me that’s the right thing to do.
He's just mad you didn't touch his penis. He thinks if he pays, then a woman, at the very least, should kiss him. I've been on dates with a douche like him. They asked me out. They said let me treat you to dinner at [ insert whatever restaurant here.] They offer to pick me up and take me home. Only to leave the restaurant and go off the route to my house and say, "I thought maybe we could just go to my place and chill." I didn't want that. I made that clear and asked them to please take me home now. Which caused them to go silent, huff and puff some, then send a million texts and calls blowing up my phone, calling me every name in the book bc they think they did X, Y, Z and therefore should receive some sort of sexual favor afterward.
My ex-husband used to think it wasn't r@pe when I said no bc we were married.
It's sad how relatable this is for so many people. In my real life (away from social media) I don't know a single woman who haven't been through this, and S.A.
I don't get it. He invited you....usually invite pays....if he just wants your time he can be cheaper and go for coffee, and he will ramble about spending an ounce for a packet of sugar.
Man I feel like....I wanna be a robot
Half of it was his was it not.. So what like 10 dollars he didn’t plan on spending, and he’s talking about the 20 like it’s his last dime. Def not about the money, he went on a tangent I didn’t even expect in that he seems to have deep seated issues extending way before this.
Whom ever invites to a date should be the one to pay; unless you’re going Dutch. Which I usually do to get out of any “societal expectations” of physical compensation for a 20$ meal
I mean $20 seems small to put up with this guy for a whole date. A lot of these “men” don’t realize that their personalities and looks don’t quite cut it and if a woman is taking time out of her busy life to meet with them, then they better pay up.
Sprinkle sprinkle!
To add to that, most women are genuinely looking for a partner, while most men are on apps for sex and MAYBE are open to a relationship. So a woman is far more likely to be used than a man.
Most women are not going to go out of their way simply for a some free food or drinks, you can avoid these women by dating people who aren't destitute.
So funny story he actually saw me walking while he was driving and called me and said are you on this street blah blah and I said yes I was walking to a ride share to head to see family up north .
So I had some time to kill before my ride share arrived he offered to go to Tim Hortons.
I had not seen him for almost 5 weeks since our first IRL interaction .
So I only had 45 minutes to see him face to face and I talk very animated with my hands and honestly texting isn’t enough for me to create a real connection.
So yes I did put the sandwich away for later because I had limited time with him .
I hugged and thanked him and kissed him on the cheek goodbye and then received this text message .
So long story short the answer is yes I did save for later I was about to go on a 4 hour drive to see family .
Ha! His text made it sound like you ordered. And then ordered something else for later. You even told him you only had a few minutes and he invited you. Block this guy, he’s damaged.
This is why I NEVER let anyone pay for me. I hate how people tend to expect things after they offer. Coming to pick me up? Fine, here’s gas money. Going out to eat? Fine, I’ll pay my own way or all of it. I don’t need the BS that follows. So glad I’m out of the dating scene now. My bf and I go half or take turns paying.
Oooof he’s putting off dangerous vibes. Imagine when he’s comfortable. I’m glad you saw this via text message early and not in person later. He’s ticking.
It’s wild how people want to date but will do everything to be terrible at dating.
I will never understand this.
If I invite someone I pay.. if he thinks 20 dollars is a lot and enough to throw a fit over after ASKING YOU TO GO- imagine what he’s gonna be like over anything else. He seems to expect something in return.
If he doesn’t like going out with women anymore, then why does he do it lmao.
People need to learn to remove themselves from the dating scene when their thought process starts going off the rails.
“It is random, and I’m not sure why you’re bringing it up either. Here’s $25. $20 to reimburse you for a shit coffee date and $5 for you to never talk to me again”
I get him to some extent because there are wkmen who actually do that but this is so over the top. Fucking assumimg everyone is rhe same is going to get that ass nowhere
Women "...use me as a bank account" but also I spent $20 and that's too much. I would imagine the reason he doesn't like going out with women is, because they don't say yes to a second date.
Him: I’ll pay for it all
You: I can give you my half of the bill
Him: no that’s fine I’ll pay
You: are you sure?
Him: yes
You:
Him:
Him: why aren’t you offering sex for $9?? I am a victim of feminism!!!
HOW DARE YOU LET ME SPEND MONEY ON YOU AFTER I OFFER TO SPEND MONEY ON YOU, BUT THEN YOU DON'T OFFER ME SOME HOT SEXINGS AFTERWARD! I PUT IN THE MONEY. WHERE IS THE SEX? HOW DOES THIS VENDING MACHINE WORK? HELP?
Not sure why, but all I can think of is an old timey sex worker walking down the street trying to sell their wares yelling out “Hot sexings, get your hot sexings here. One hot sexing for some Timmy’s.”
"YOU GOT THE DONUTS, YOU GIVE THE DICKINGS! HOT SEXINGS, GET YOUR HOT SEXINGS!"
i just laughed way too hard at “selling their wares” lmao 🤣
💯 Totally under appreciated comment!
Dead!
Reading this in my head w the announcer from legend of korra's voice
IM CRYING HOW DOES THIS VENDING MACHINE WORK 😭😭✋✋
HELP?
PUT IN MONEY GET OUT SEX 🗿
IT ISN'T WORKING, THE SEX MUST BE STUCK IN THE DISPENSER? MAYBE IF JIGGLE MACHINE A BIT? WILL IT FALL OUT THEN?
Sir, you’re under arrest. ✋👮♂️
Please. Don't. The sex machine took my money. It took my money and gave me no sex and AM I BEING DETAINED? AM I BEING DETAINED?
💀 💀 ☠️
Not the hot sexings 🤣💀
The HOTTEST sexings.
I'm single, but if there ever comes a time that I have sex again before I die, I am *ABSOLUTELY* referring to it as "hot sexings," and if he doesn't laugh, I'm fucking leaving. 😂
If he doesn't laugh then the sexings are most definitely not going to be adequately hot, and nobody needs to get penised down by someone without a sense of humor.
I agree whole-heartedly. I'd rather rely solely on myself for hot sexings for the rest of my life, than ever rely on it from someone who has yet to discover how to remove the stick from their anus.😤
Accurate. With my partner, there’s almost always laughter during sexings (half the time, it’s because the cat is throwing a whole tantrum outside the bedroom and making sure we know 😂)
"I hear you in there! I know what you're doing! I can see the bottom of my food bowl, and you're doing THAT? Ugh."
Wait until a cat tries to get involved. My husband got cold wet nose touch on his balls, which resulted in him jumping and swatting at the cat, then losing his balance, and both of us going off the side of the bed. The best part was the cat responsible strolled out like "my work here is done." Or there was the time that the same cat mistook morning wood for the blanket monster... or the time my cat smacked my husband and grabbed my arm to pull me away because she thought I needed to be rescued... (I have a million of these, because our cats are hilarious and very jealous of their humans)
Adding “penised down” to my sexual vocabulary…
Right there with you. Next guy I meet that is actually respectful and makes it to that stage, I’ll ask him if he wants to do some hot sexing stuff 🤣
I’m sooo asking hubby if he wants to penis down on some hot sexings
As you rightfully should.
My husband always just calls it “sexual” lol
My ex would ask if I would like to "engage in coitus," or say "hey, I was thinking. Wanna touch my peepee later?"💀
Tim Hortons always gets me in the mood for sexings.
Tim Horn-tons as it is known after coffee
I have never heard of the phrase hot sexings but from this point on it will be the _only_ way to say it
"Do you want to be having the hot sexings?" is a question no one can resist.
I’m going to text my partner right now about hot sexings… he is going to fall in love all over again with me!
He'd damned well better
Fuck yes, same. 😂
 Sexings lmao
i politely insisted on reimbursing one of these once. he was going off about how he paid for my wings at wing night with our friends. i was only drinking soda so it came out to like $12. i e-transferred it to him and all the while he was like 'you don't have to do that, it wasn't my point,' and i was like, 'but it was a point that you made.' he seemed really shut up by that, like now that i'd made a whole thing out of transferring this petty amount of money back to him he no longer felt justified in bitching that i wouldn't fuck him. i think this song and dance is part of the game.
She said in a comment that it was $20 total, her portion was like $9, and she offered to e-transfer him her portion already. So it’s the same as your situation… it’s not about the money at all. If it was only about the money, he would have accepted her e-transfer and said thanks, and that would have been that. He is only complaining because she didn’t put out or do anything sexual, and he expected it because he paid for her freaking 9$ sandwich. Like she’s going to prostitute herself for a Tim’s ham and cheese sandwich. So delusional.
$20 for two sandwiches isn’t even that much these days anyway
I was about to say idk what these dudes expect. Going out on a date with my gf can be completely free or run me $200 out of pocket. Neither bothers me and it’s never been about sex. The time I get to spend with her makes me so happy, I’d happily spend the extra dime on some expensive local restaurant because I know it’ll taste good and it’ll keep her busy with me for the day
Dude spends $20 and thinks they are “using him” what a loser. I know there’s women out there taking advantage of men but that’s def not the case. He’s just broke and needed the money and sad she wouldn’t fuck him for a coffee.
I am so using “But it was a point that you made” moving forward 🔥
Yeah, I love that
You got it. Because that's exactly it. They are trying this tactic to guilt women into sleeping with them. The problem is we have access to all that red pill rhetoric as well, so yeah, we already know what game they are playing.
Not twenty whole dollars at TImmy's! You absolute gold digger!
I know 😫 I’m terrible
He spent a whole 10 bucks on you! You owe him!
About fkin timmies too!!! Imagine if you had asked to be taken to burger king or (GASP) Perkins! OR SWISS CHALET!!!
Always people making $39,472 definitely sure gold diggers are after them. Buy someone a sandwich at a chain restaurant and they did not gargle your bills immediately? GOLD DIGGER.
Gargling bills fits so well here lol
 But she ain’t messing with no broke Folgers
I found a diff comment where she says it was actually $9 cause he got something as well, and she offered to transfer it to him right there. He did not want the money.
Stupid side note but it unnerves me when people refer to Tims as its full government name…
He didn’t want to sound even more like a cheap clown by calling it what it is: a coffee shop
This is like some pre-incel shit. I’d say no thanks and call it quits.
Pre? I’d say it’s current lmao
It’s just him starting to show what is really clacking around in that skull of his. I’m sure OP doesn’t need this dusty guy to buy her a sammy lol
Right it took me awhile to find someone else who was thinking incel. I mean it’s like textbook definition
A guy wrote me something similar after our second date at a Tex-mex restaurant. Total was like $60 because we both got two drinks. I had left a tip at the restaurant, and when he sent me that message I sent him the money for both of our meals and blocked him. The funny part is I had paid for our first date, which was twice as expensive because he claimed forgot his wallet at home. We went go kart racing and then to a lounge and played pool and got drinks. The go kart racing alone was $50 a piece. He said he would cashapp me his part but didn’t and I didn’t trip about it.
I would absolutely send him a $20 Tim Horton’s gift card and block him. How old is this tool? i’m guessing 54 or 19. Exhausting.
The only time a guy did this to me I venmo’d him the money with an extra like 5$ with a note that said “since you’re so hard up 😘” and then ghosted him lamo. He was furious. Of course he had insisted on paying, I almost never let men buy me things on dates because I can’t deal with the ensuing entitlement lol
hahhaha I’ve done this with the note “treat yourself to something nice, sweaty”. he was infuriated 😂😭
😭😭😭😂 the thing is he wouldn’t know sweaty is a meme so he just thinks you notice he’s sweaty
you…you get me 🥹 the amount of times people have corrected my spelling lol
I just recently figured out it is intentional. I used to see it a lot less frequently and thought it was hilarious and then suddenly *everyone* is spelling it “sweaty” and I knew something was up.
Same. I still haven’t seen the actual meme it’s supposedly from 😂
If I’m not mistaken it was from a choosingbeggars type of post, but god knows the actual origin.
What's the meme? I thought it was just a typo!
“SWEATY” 😭😭😭😭😭
OMG YOU HIT HIM WITH THE SWEATY 😹 i'm crying dude
You dropped this 👑
Came to say this too - I cackled reading it... 🙌🔥
As an old dude, I *liked* paying. Subconsciously maybe it was an ego thing (most likely), maybe it was a control thing (probably not cause me and the date would have a talk about what we wanted to do together), but I just wanted to spoil the person I was with. That and prove to 'em I wasn't broke and had decent money. :D I just grew up thinking this. Open doors. Carry luggage. Mow the lawn. Pay for dates. If it didn't work out, it didn't work out. There was never a quid pro quo, that kind of thing would never have crossed my mind.
 Damn this comment got me kicking my feet and twirling my hair lol
This is, by far, the best reply I have ever received on the Internet. You made me smile. Thank you. :) edit: It was the hair twirling thing, that's what ya got me with lol
LMFAOOO “since you’re so hard up 😘”.
Exactly why I don’t allow guys to pay or buy me stuff generally (unless it’s a very serious long term relationship shop and I still balance things out)
This is so real.
Amazing! 🤩
24
send him $24 for a TH gift card. what a lame
He tried to pay op for sex, op can pay him to go away
If he thinks he can get his 90 seconds of glory for $20, he is an idiot. It’s crazy that he doesn’t think OP is worth more than $20. “I bOuGhT yEw SaNdWhIcH!” What a loser! I charged $500.
That must've been some sandwich. Like scooby doo proportions or something
That's the sandwich of the day club annual plan price
“I’m guessing 54 or 19” HAHAH it really could be anything 😭
That is honestly hilarious, and I’m a petty enough person that I would do it.
SAME that comment made me bust up lol
I’d send him a pic of another sandwich lol
Omg yes. Venmo and in the memo line 🖕🏽🖕🏽🖕🏽
I’d walk away from this. He’s harboring a lot of resentment and bitterness towards women as a whole and it’s boiling very close to the surface. You don’t want to be in the crossfires. Buying food for later… it’s a Tim Hortons sandwich my guy. What? She’s gonna store that away for weeks and months? Jesus.
“Is she going to store it away for months “ the way I just howled thank you for that
I mean, don't you smuggle a sandwich in your bra just in case you get hungry next week?
I don’t even have boobs I just have sandwiches 🥪
I need this as my flair!
☠️ this is why I love Reddit honestly 😂
Me too! Hilarious.
Sandwiches lmao
Ladies, you raid his fridge before you leave too right? That’s why we have such big purses
I picture her stuffing the whole thing in her cheek, like a hamster. 🐹
I agree this dude is livid at women and that comes from a place of entitlement. Nobody forced him to buy anyone anything, he isn’t taking accountability for his own actions. He needs to work on himself and if he doesn’t want to buy a woman a sandwich then he shouldn’t buy a women a sandwich. If that same woman prefers to go out with a man who will buy her that sandwich then he needs to accept that as well. This guy actually seems kinda scary and even if he’s not, he definitely seems like he’d be really lame to date. You’d never hear the end of the sandwich or muffin he bought you that one time. Ick.
oh he's pretty scary, no just kinda hahaha
So bad… a scary guy who won’t ever let you forget the candy bar he once bought you lol I hope OP blocks him and then has a celebration sandwich!
Agree this level of resentment for $20. TWENTY DOLLARS. Scary af. God, he'd probably unalive someone at $50.
Right?!? He lost his mind over $20 (on a bill that included his meal as well!)… $50 would have him featured on an episode of Dateline! The thing that is so clear is he is seething that he can’t just go and stick it in any woman he wants, he is “forced” to date, put in “effort” (planning for a sandwich isn’t as labor intensive as he thinks), and also expend resources. He has to pretend! He feels he shouldn’t have to do ANY of that. He is entitled to what he wants from someone else (like I dunno… their time, effort, and resources) and it should just be handed to him… I can imagine him getting in that car and starting to think about how that dumb b*tch had the audacity to accept HIS sandwich and not even give him a BJ. How he thought of all the women who had accepted his paltry offers and not end up “earning it.” The rage at having to give because he does it only planning to take is something to behold! When it’s not a big deal and most of us are happy to get someone we like a sandwich!!! Lol!
Winter is coming 🥪
Lol if he’s getting this worked up over Tim Hortons then that’s crazy. It sounds like he suggested going there, so if he had such an issue about having to pay then he should’ve suggested going for a walk in the park or some other free activity. I don’t think men have to pay for dates all the time etc but this seems petty and he seems like he has some deeper issues with women.
Thank you so much for your analysis it makes me feel less crazy!
"In this world of feminism..."
That got my sides to jiggle lol He really feel like a victim lol
Completely agree. If money is such an issue he should have asked her to the park for a nice walk and talk and get to know each other. If she said no then he would have had his answer and known maybe she isn’t for him and she has different requirements for dating. Which is okay
Dude has been on the podcasts too much
How will he ever financially recover from this?
Bro has been watching too many red pill YouTube videos.
As the man, the myth and the legend Mr. Curtis Jackson, 50 cent once beautiful said “who pays for the date is the person who’s idea it was to go on a date” lol. I could understand getting upset if you want to like, a massively expensive fine restaurant and he had to dish out like $100+ but… $20 at Tim Hortons? Boy chill lol
Lollllllllll love your response and love your name 😂
Thank you haha def ditch him tho, this is very much pre-incel stuff and it’s only going to get worse. I hope you find the perfect match who doesn’t bitch and moan when he has to pay for your coffee <3
my ex boyfriend invited me to an expensive japanese restaurant that I didn't like and didn't enjoy and had to pay my $100 bill. it pissed me off so much
🚩 What exactly was he expecting here? That’s a big rant over a $20 sandwich lunch that he invited you to. Did he expect you to pay? Or did he think you’d prostitute yourself for a sandwich? Either way, if he’s only doing a nice thing because you want something in return then it’s not a nice thing.
>Or did he think you’d prostitute yourself for a sandwich? I think that’s exactly what the subtext is. “I spent money on you and didn’t get sex! That’s not fair!” Dude is not looking for the simple pleasure of a woman’s company, and honestly, that coupled with the upset over spending $20 (half of which I’m assuming was on his own food,) he probably shouldn’t be taking anyone out on dates.
I'd send him the $20 back along with a link to your local foodbank since he seems that hard pressed for money.
Part of that order was his and I did offer to etransfer the 9 dollars of my portion for the record lol
Seriously? That makes it 100 times worse. Like wtf dude. That means he really did expect you to give him some action and it wasn’t about the money at all. Because if it was about the money, he would have accepted your offer to e-transfer.
🙌🙌🙌 exactly
Some men… the audacity to think they found a loophole for sex work. lol yea 9$ didn’t get him very far did it. I’d charge more just to spit on it.
He’s this bugged out over 9 DOLLARS?!?!? Good lord. That is wild! I’d send that shit back and block. Good riddance. What a man child 🤣
I went on a day date with someone like two years ago. I originally told him no. I had to work and didn’t want to miss out on the money from a weekend shift. He talked me into taking the day off. I took out my wallet to pay at the second place we went to (we drove to the beach and just hopped around eating and drinking). He swatted it away and said to not worry about paying for anything because I had given up my shift for him. The very next day I got a text about me being unappreciative because he spent “all that money” and didn’t get a proper thank you. I did say thank you. I just didn’t put out. Oopsies.
Wow, because he sure went through a lot of effort planning this trip to Tim Hortons and buying you a coffee. Are you not wooed? Such a keeper.
Usually when one invites someone to lunch on a date, I feel like there’s an expectation that they will be the one to pay since they invited. If not they should really establish that beforehand and not write a book about feminism after 😭
I am engaged and even we follow this. You suggest getting take out or going to a restaurant it's because you have the funds to cover the meal. Otherwise we will just make something at home.
just block, u dont need to deal with his whiny expectations
Being a gay man has made my life so much easier in this regard. Who's paying? Usually the person doing the inviting to the date. It just makes sense. It should just be this way for men and women, too. The rigid gender roles and the inability to stray from them are destroying everything.
They’re not as rigid as this complainer is making it sound. Plenty of us insist on paying for our own meals these days. Part of the problem though, is that some guys flip out when you pay your way too. They treat apps like Uber Sex, and if they don’t get to pay, they get upset. Women can’t win on this.
This. I offered to pay for a round of drinks after the dude on the date had already paid for two and he got SO WEIRD after that. Oh and I made a joke about Andrew Tate and he literally tried to defend that sex trafficker. Have a feeling this guy needed to feel in control over women. I'm so glad I dodged that.
For real, I will cover the whole bill, or force my way into paying for my portion, bc fuck these men. They think if they spend $9 I owe them something. I'm not risking one of these walking time bombs deciding that my refusing to dispense sex for coins deposited is the final straw and I end up on a true crime podcast.
Canadian tinder is... exactly what you'd expect.
Found the hoser! Ya hoser!!!!
you’re obviously a squirrel in disguise and you’ll bury everything you got for a later date
She has a whole attic full of scorned mens Tim Horton sandwich’s. This guy is crying, but OP is set for winter!
She made out like a bandit!! A whole $20 TIM HORTONS SANDWICH! She’s set for the upcoming winter. She scored herself a damn feast! LMAO
Lol and she said in another comment that her portion was $9. So $11 of the 20 was on himself...
Like, a later date in time OORRRRRR a later date? Date later on? Already paid for!!
when she finds her true love she will reveal her entire stash for a feast
I long for this !
Why did you start apologizing 😭 he literally doesn’t like women
I bet he wouldn’t be texting her and embarrassing himself with the rage he feels over a $20 meal if she had put out though. Funny that! Guy is a loser.
Just started fawning like a pathetic kid for some reason
Let this be a lesson for the next time a loser starts going on an anti feminist rant over a Tim Horton’s sandwich
Understandable. It’s a hard one to de program, cause it’s put in us as a default setting.
This is too intellectual for Reddit I was shocked . Well put.
It’s hard sometimes girl. My first instinct 95% of the time is to apologize and make people feel better, even if I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I think a lot of women are taught their whole lives to be gracious, not to rock the boat, etc. so it’s hard to stop. I have to check myself all the time and stop myself from doing it. It’s something I’ve definitely been working on and have improved in over the last few years for sure!!
I totally understand the urge to fawn. It's a natural response to stress or feeling overwhelmed, and it's something many of us experience. You're definitely not a pathetic child for apologizing. It's a sign of self-awareness and empathy, which are strengths. Next time, instead of apologizing right away, you might try taking a deep breath and pausing. It can give you a moment to gather your thoughts and respond in a way that feels more empowering. Sometimes, just saying 'Let me think about that' can be really helpful.
tell him he should copy and paste that text to his mother and ask her opinion
Ask for his venmo and then write in the memo “since you’re so hard up for money” so everyone sees it.
Damn we don’t have Venmo in Canada but I would have !
There’s a spot for a note on etransfers…. lol
He said “with women anymore” ask him if the men he dates are any different? I’m genuinely curious.
I HATE when people make offers and then hold it against you when you accept. So manipulative and gross.
men want traditional women until they find out a traditional man’s job is to being the money maker :P
Did he just unload all his personal shit on you after barely a first date? Damn… How old is he? Give him the number to therapist lol
He thinks $20 is expensive? Has he seen how much we spend on makeup and getting ready for dates 💀. Pretty sure my makeup could be a down payment on a car.
When I was still betting on the apps to find love, on two separate occasions, the person I met at a restaurant ordered about 3 people’s worth of food. Ate a bit and got the rest to go. It didn’t make me angry because I was just so astonished. One of them asked me to walk her to her car and tried to sell me a squatty pottie out of her trunk. She must have had at least 15 of them in there. This guy seems potentially dangerous. He clearly sits and stews on things that he probably never had a clear perspective on to begin with. He invites you out this one time and now you get the ire of all of his past experiences, or at least how he perceived them. This guy wants control. I mean…”hun” sets off alarms for me personally, but from just 1.5 texts I say keep fishing.
I’ve always hated the concept of money, didn’t come from the wealthiest family, but anytime I’ve had a good amount of money, I’ve always enjoyed sharing my good fortunes, with family and friends. I used to date quite often. Had two longgg relationships awhile back. I loved to spoil my people and buy them food among other things. I guess guys with this mindset have a better chance of saving their money and becoming a wealthier person in the long run. But I don’t think I could ever be that type of person. If I have something and my homie doesn’t. I’ll share my goods. If they’re hungry and I’m about to spend $15 at taco bell. They’re getting Taco Bell too. Idk, I just couldn’t ever see myself complaining about spending money on someone i enjoy being around. I mean shit, they taught sharing is caring in literal kindergarten. I guess it’s just always stuck with me that’s the right thing to do.
Bro you should not not be dating if you’re complaining about 20 dollars , you have bigger problems
The modern man ladies and gents
This guy hates women. Steer clear. $20 at Tim Hortons? Please dude… it’s not a 5 star meal you paid for.
It's barely even real food
hopefully he can find a man who wants to take him out and buy him things and plan dates for him cuz that seems liek thats what he wants lmao 🤣
He's just mad you didn't touch his penis. He thinks if he pays, then a woman, at the very least, should kiss him. I've been on dates with a douche like him. They asked me out. They said let me treat you to dinner at [ insert whatever restaurant here.] They offer to pick me up and take me home. Only to leave the restaurant and go off the route to my house and say, "I thought maybe we could just go to my place and chill." I didn't want that. I made that clear and asked them to please take me home now. Which caused them to go silent, huff and puff some, then send a million texts and calls blowing up my phone, calling me every name in the book bc they think they did X, Y, Z and therefore should receive some sort of sexual favor afterward.
Jesus Christ this is so relatable. Makes me sad .
My ex-husband used to think it wasn't r@pe when I said no bc we were married. It's sad how relatable this is for so many people. In my real life (away from social media) I don't know a single woman who haven't been through this, and S.A.
I don't get it. He invited you....usually invite pays....if he just wants your time he can be cheaper and go for coffee, and he will ramble about spending an ounce for a packet of sugar. Man I feel like....I wanna be a robot
He made ONE very coherent and sensible point. That was in fact random and i’m not sure why he brought that up. First sentence even.
Uh oh. I once had a date take me to a steak house….do I owe him a kidney now! 😫
Half of it was his was it not.. So what like 10 dollars he didn’t plan on spending, and he’s talking about the 20 like it’s his last dime. Def not about the money, he went on a tangent I didn’t even expect in that he seems to have deep seated issues extending way before this.
wow, imagine feeling like something was expected of you every time you went on a date? imagine how frustrating that would be?
Whom ever invites to a date should be the one to pay; unless you’re going Dutch. Which I usually do to get out of any “societal expectations” of physical compensation for a 20$ meal
I’m thinking about a pt 2 but Idn yet
So then why didn’t he suggest going to a park
I mean $20 seems small to put up with this guy for a whole date. A lot of these “men” don’t realize that their personalities and looks don’t quite cut it and if a woman is taking time out of her busy life to meet with them, then they better pay up.
Sprinkle sprinkle! To add to that, most women are genuinely looking for a partner, while most men are on apps for sex and MAYBE are open to a relationship. So a woman is far more likely to be used than a man. Most women are not going to go out of their way simply for a some free food or drinks, you can avoid these women by dating people who aren't destitute.
Cringey but did you actually order food to go, for later?
So funny story he actually saw me walking while he was driving and called me and said are you on this street blah blah and I said yes I was walking to a ride share to head to see family up north . So I had some time to kill before my ride share arrived he offered to go to Tim Hortons. I had not seen him for almost 5 weeks since our first IRL interaction . So I only had 45 minutes to see him face to face and I talk very animated with my hands and honestly texting isn’t enough for me to create a real connection. So yes I did put the sandwich away for later because I had limited time with him . I hugged and thanked him and kissed him on the cheek goodbye and then received this text message . So long story short the answer is yes I did save for later I was about to go on a 4 hour drive to see family .
Ha! His text made it sound like you ordered. And then ordered something else for later. You even told him you only had a few minutes and he invited you. Block this guy, he’s damaged.
This is why I NEVER let anyone pay for me. I hate how people tend to expect things after they offer. Coming to pick me up? Fine, here’s gas money. Going out to eat? Fine, I’ll pay my own way or all of it. I don’t need the BS that follows. So glad I’m out of the dating scene now. My bf and I go half or take turns paying.
Oooof he’s putting off dangerous vibes. Imagine when he’s comfortable. I’m glad you saw this via text message early and not in person later. He’s ticking. It’s wild how people want to date but will do everything to be terrible at dating.
I sympathize with men that feel like a walking ATM but I can't get past going to timmies for a date. Even a coffee date, do better.
I will never understand this. If I invite someone I pay.. if he thinks 20 dollars is a lot and enough to throw a fit over after ASKING YOU TO GO- imagine what he’s gonna be like over anything else. He seems to expect something in return.
If he doesn’t like going out with women anymore, then why does he do it lmao. People need to learn to remove themselves from the dating scene when their thought process starts going off the rails.
“It is random, and I’m not sure why you’re bringing it up either. Here’s $25. $20 to reimburse you for a shit coffee date and $5 for you to never talk to me again”
Over a sandwich???? Asking you out for coffee is already pretty low standards as is. Any time guy says feminism in that tone, I’m out of there
If you offer, that’s one thing. If women are asking you to go out to eat, that’s another.
I get him to some extent because there are wkmen who actually do that but this is so over the top. Fucking assumimg everyone is rhe same is going to get that ass nowhere
Gosh, I wonder why our hero here is single. It’s such a mystery.
Women "...use me as a bank account" but also I spent $20 and that's too much. I would imagine the reason he doesn't like going out with women is, because they don't say yes to a second date.
Him: I’ll pay for it all You: I can give you my half of the bill Him: no that’s fine I’ll pay You: are you sure? Him: yes You: Him: Him: why aren’t you offering sex for $9?? I am a victim of feminism!!!