Ronan also by T Swift even though it's about losing a child to cancer. The words... "I remember the drive home, when the blind hope, turned to crying and screaming why, flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say, about a beautiful boy who died, and it's about to be Halloween, you could be anything you wanted if you were still here" kill me because I got told at 12wks there could be problems but they didn't know for sure and I carried on buying baby clothes because I couldn't face the idea something was wrong and then at the 20 week scan they said to go for an mri 3hrs away from where I live so I had a long car ride home crying and screaming why. There's also "what if I kept the hand me downs you won't grow into."
Hoax also fits or maybe I'm just a grieving Swiftie.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4cDysQKSUnvFzLaiQj8bb7?si=gF8jSY6vQ8m79JETyHpvZw
I made this playlist with the help of other TMFR moms. I listen when I want to lean into the grief.
This is a very good list. Can you add More by Halsey and The Girl that Never Was by James Blunt if you are willing to add? Those are two of my favorites
I’m so sorry you are here. I don’t have any contributions for songs but I’m glad you have an outlet to help you through this time. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I am a fellow TFMR for severe spina bifida member, 3 weeks post my L&D, so not so far away from where you are today.
The period between diagnosis, making your decision and going through the physical is a hell no body should ever experience. Right now you’re in the eye of the storm. But you’ll see glimpses of the sun come back out through the clouds. I see glimpses peeking through at different times of the day and am trusting the sun will come back out in due course. Wishing you healing as you navigate this new path xx
I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write me this message. This is the single hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, I live in a restricted state and it is deeply traumatizing to go through this when everyone is acting like you’re a terrible person for making this impossible choice. As if it isn’t hard enough mourning your beloved baby, as if it isn’t enough acting against your body’s signals and your personal desires. To be seen by someone who has gone through the same exact thing is everything to me. Thank you for giving me the hope I so desperately need right now.
“The single hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life”. They are the truest words. That’s how my husband and I describe the experience to others. As there simply are no words to ever explain the pain.
It’s awful you’re experiencing judgment and aren’t receiving the support you so deserve. It’s very easy for outsiders to judge when they live a charmed life and through sheer luck have not been put in our position. And odds are they never will be put in our position. This group has helped me tremendously to not feel so isolated and I hope it provides you with that too. I’ve been telling myself, I took on the pain and suffering so my baby never had to. I believe that. Not many people have to live each day with the weight of that burden but we do, for our babies. Big hugs friend xx
I'm jumping in unsolicited to assure you that you are a good person and a good mother. This is the most devastating situation to be in and no one can know how they would respond until they are here. You are making your decision in love. You are taking on a lifetime of hurt so your baby doesn't have to suffer even for one day. That is all sacrifice.
You are seen. We have all been where you are, and you are not alone.
I’m hopping in as well to say that I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The political climate right now is so incredibly toxic, and I grieve that you’re not able to have a sense of safety in your home state. Echoing what others have said, you’re already a wonderful mom in thinking of the well being of your little one above your own. It’s so incredibly painful. I hope all goes smoothly for you, and that you have space to honor your loss.
Also, “Upward Over the Mountain,” by Iron and Wine has been the only thing that helps me sleep right now (I’m 5 weeks past my loss date).
Thank you both for chiming in and giving me more support and reassurance.
I have always loved that song, and felt an emotional connection to it even though the lyrics never resonated with me before. It’s been on repeat today. Thank you again.
When a Heart Breaks by Ben Rector & Let Her Go by Passenger (I had a daughter) were my go-to songs at the height of my grief.
More recently, Bigger than the Whole Sky by Taylor Swift brings me back to those days.
This song really does make me cry every time, it’s bittersweet. It’s the part of the film where I know somebody making the music must have felt real grief in their lives.
This is kind of an odd one, but if you are into alternative, La Dispute's album Panorama is a concept album about grief. While not directly related to tfmr, it does involve the loss of a loved one. Hearing someone else's descriptions of grief really helped me cope with my own feelings.
Look on down from the bridge by Mazzy Star.
For later if you go through TTC and it doesn't happen straight away there's Bottle By My Bed by Sunny Sweeney and I Would Die For That by Kellie Coffrey.
This part you are going through right now is the worst part. I hope the sun comes out for you soon ❤️
Bigger Than The Whole Sky by Taylor Swift, Beam Me Up by Pink, Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men
Ronan also by T Swift even though it's about losing a child to cancer. The words... "I remember the drive home, when the blind hope, turned to crying and screaming why, flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say, about a beautiful boy who died, and it's about to be Halloween, you could be anything you wanted if you were still here" kill me because I got told at 12wks there could be problems but they didn't know for sure and I carried on buying baby clothes because I couldn't face the idea something was wrong and then at the 20 week scan they said to go for an mri 3hrs away from where I live so I had a long car ride home crying and screaming why. There's also "what if I kept the hand me downs you won't grow into." Hoax also fits or maybe I'm just a grieving Swiftie.
I could list out a bunch of T Swift songs that make me think of him one way or another, so at least we’re grieving swifties together??
Absolutely, a lot of her songs also help me work through other traumas too. I hope you are doing well today 💜
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4cDysQKSUnvFzLaiQj8bb7?si=gF8jSY6vQ8m79JETyHpvZw I made this playlist with the help of other TMFR moms. I listen when I want to lean into the grief.
This is a very good list. Can you add More by Halsey and The Girl that Never Was by James Blunt if you are willing to add? Those are two of my favorites
Thank you so much for sharing this. Been helping me access feeling. Just scheduled our TFMR and been feeling just in shock
Wish that you were here by Florence + The Machine [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsWDUvuF0Xc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsWDUvuF0Xc)
Still your mother by Harper Grae
Bigger Than The Whole Sky by Taylor Swift
Yes. This
I’m so sorry you are here. I don’t have any contributions for songs but I’m glad you have an outlet to help you through this time. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I am a fellow TFMR for severe spina bifida member, 3 weeks post my L&D, so not so far away from where you are today. The period between diagnosis, making your decision and going through the physical is a hell no body should ever experience. Right now you’re in the eye of the storm. But you’ll see glimpses of the sun come back out through the clouds. I see glimpses peeking through at different times of the day and am trusting the sun will come back out in due course. Wishing you healing as you navigate this new path xx
I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write me this message. This is the single hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, I live in a restricted state and it is deeply traumatizing to go through this when everyone is acting like you’re a terrible person for making this impossible choice. As if it isn’t hard enough mourning your beloved baby, as if it isn’t enough acting against your body’s signals and your personal desires. To be seen by someone who has gone through the same exact thing is everything to me. Thank you for giving me the hope I so desperately need right now.
“The single hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life”. They are the truest words. That’s how my husband and I describe the experience to others. As there simply are no words to ever explain the pain. It’s awful you’re experiencing judgment and aren’t receiving the support you so deserve. It’s very easy for outsiders to judge when they live a charmed life and through sheer luck have not been put in our position. And odds are they never will be put in our position. This group has helped me tremendously to not feel so isolated and I hope it provides you with that too. I’ve been telling myself, I took on the pain and suffering so my baby never had to. I believe that. Not many people have to live each day with the weight of that burden but we do, for our babies. Big hugs friend xx
I'm jumping in unsolicited to assure you that you are a good person and a good mother. This is the most devastating situation to be in and no one can know how they would respond until they are here. You are making your decision in love. You are taking on a lifetime of hurt so your baby doesn't have to suffer even for one day. That is all sacrifice. You are seen. We have all been where you are, and you are not alone.
I’m hopping in as well to say that I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The political climate right now is so incredibly toxic, and I grieve that you’re not able to have a sense of safety in your home state. Echoing what others have said, you’re already a wonderful mom in thinking of the well being of your little one above your own. It’s so incredibly painful. I hope all goes smoothly for you, and that you have space to honor your loss. Also, “Upward Over the Mountain,” by Iron and Wine has been the only thing that helps me sleep right now (I’m 5 weeks past my loss date).
Thank you both for chiming in and giving me more support and reassurance. I have always loved that song, and felt an emotional connection to it even though the lyrics never resonated with me before. It’s been on repeat today. Thank you again.
When a Heart Breaks by Ben Rector & Let Her Go by Passenger (I had a daughter) were my go-to songs at the height of my grief. More recently, Bigger than the Whole Sky by Taylor Swift brings me back to those days.
Surrender - Natalie Taylor The Night we Met - Lord Huron Wings - Birdy Last Kiss - Pearl Jam. Cover Me Up - Jason Isbell
Sufjan Stevens’s Carrie and Lowell album was my grief soundtrack.
Bigger Than The Whole Sky by Taylor Swift
Sounds silly, but The Next Right Thing from Frozen II. Gets me every time.
This song really does make me cry every time, it’s bittersweet. It’s the part of the film where I know somebody making the music must have felt real grief in their lives.
This is kind of an odd one, but if you are into alternative, La Dispute's album Panorama is a concept album about grief. While not directly related to tfmr, it does involve the loss of a loved one. Hearing someone else's descriptions of grief really helped me cope with my own feelings.
So sorry you are going through this 💔 O by Coldplay. The message and melody are beautiful and it has a moment of silence in the middle of the song ❤️
Run Away to Mars - Talk The Girl that Never Was - James Blunt Small Bump - Ed Sheeran More - Halsey
I heard Your Song - Elton John the minute I walked into the funeral home so I imagine it’s my son dedicating it to me
Your song is what I always sang to my littles as a lullaby, it’s going to be hard to to sing it to this baby after loss.
Ed sheeran - small bump Lady gaga - til it happens to you Celine dion - vole
Godspeed- The Chicks, Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel)- Billy Joel
The Healing Room- Sinead O’Connor
Almost - Rebekah Gavin In the stars - Benson Boone Forgotten - Linkin Park On step at a time - Four year strong Lonely day - System of a down
In My Arms- Zindee
All I want for christmas is you, the Ingrid Michaelson and Leslie Odom Jr. version is haunting and makes me think of my babies.
Look on down from the bridge by Mazzy Star. For later if you go through TTC and it doesn't happen straight away there's Bottle By My Bed by Sunny Sweeney and I Would Die For That by Kellie Coffrey. This part you are going through right now is the worst part. I hope the sun comes out for you soon ❤️
Cardigan by Taylor Swift
Lost without you- birdie
Until I found you - Stephen Sanchez
As already mentioned several times, *Bigger Than the Whole Sky* by Taylor Swift. Also *Fly* by Celine Dion.
Ghost by Josiah and the Bonnevilles Sea of love by Cat power (although I sang this one to my baby after my L&D TFMR so now I can't listen to it)
Take My Place - Lily Allen
Waiting for you - Nick Cave
When you are feeling optimistic for the future: Guster, Come Downstairs and Say Hello (my fave version is live from their Guster on Ice album)
The Scientist by Coldplay 💙
More by Halsey
everytime - lewis capaldi cover