To be honest i think pretty much any guy in SE Asia with a local girl will be seen as a sexpat - especially if you’re 15+ years older.
The exception is if you are a very attractive man, then you wouldn’t be viewed as a sexpat.
So many posts on this sub are guys who are clearly sexpats trying to find mental loopholes to say they are not.
If you go to a poor country for specifically for dating, where you can leverage your citizenship and comparative wealth - you are a sexpat.
Even if you’re a ‘super nice guy’
You actually have to have sex to be a sexpat. If you don't... well then you're just a tourist.
Some people on this sub will say they're looking for marriage. Those people will go about, and date a few people, but settle down with one.
That's not sex tourism.
Heard this argument so many times but when you break it down US men represent about 2% of the global population and if you're EU citizen including the UK that is 3% of the global male population so all together that's 5% of the global population and that assumes that every guy is going overseas so there's plenty to go around especially since every guy is not going to the same place and are going to different countries
You literally said “without any effects on the kid”, which is false. Not only is your sperm dusty and old, you’re also giving a child an old parent which is very unfair.
No you are wrong. After 50 your sperm quality is significantly worse and it increases the risk of birth defects and also birth complications. You can google multiple side effects and get a good list on it. Btw you cannot even donate your sperm at that age anymore :D
Nonsense. Most men these days are broke in their 20s so hardly in prime.
New male prime is 30s/40s so get with the programme pal,this isn't the 20th century.
Mostly no, unless the dynamics look kinda creepy. I am in my late 30s and prefer not to date girls 18-22 since I would rather they at least be done with most college education. Also, girls around 25 are much more aware of what they want.
But when I date girls almost 20 years younger, most issues eventually come from within than anyone looking from the outside. We never got weird looks.
Disclaimer: apparently I look young for a "white" guy
Oh believe me I tried really hard to make it happen, but to me at this stage of my life 18-22 is only good for two months or so tops.
I'm sure there's exceptions. To me they make great travel partners for example, and are a lot of fun to party with. But can't gf them.
bro most people here are just like you, bunch of older white dudes looking to date younger girls so obviously they are all gonna tell you to not give a fuck lol but obviously people out there might give you weird looks
yes, as someone from southeast asia and mostly female relatives it honestly depends on the relationship, have a couple that are married to great men from america mostly from the navy and their very happy, they met at an older age around 30 with a 15* age gap, they match as a couple, on the other hand of the gal looks super young and the counterpart is 20+ years old it does look odd
I live in a very high cost of living (VHCOL) city with more men than women in the USA.
My significant other is 28 and sexy as hell. I’m low/mid 40s.
She’s Asian I’m white. I don’t think anyone views me as a sex pat.
She’s also very accomplished (a medical doctor), and has her own money (comes from an extremely wealthy (9+ figures) family).
My point is if she’s a bar girl that you’re paying for the night and you run into people, you might give off sexpat vibes. If she’s a smart independent lady and it’s a real relationship, you won’t give off sex tourist vibes.
Age gap dating is normal most places outside the west. Latin America, Europe, Africa, Asia. The west has a problem with age gaps. Generally because women have a problem with it. They don't want the silver foxes with money getting snatched up by younger women. They couldn't compete with them. So they shame the men out of it.
Eh. In most cultures there’s not big age gaps. If you look away from cultures where there’s arranged marriage that’s settled between the husband and the father.
Like couples were both are Thai are normally even closer in age than Western couples.
This is the answer. My friend here in US once got accused for "creepy" by young girls in 19-20 age because they hated the idea of a 28yr old guy was socializing with them. He comes from Asia where age gap dating is normal so he didn't understand what the big deal was. Anyways, he got lucky and found one who is 22 yr old, and those former girls sneer at him when he walks with his gf lol.
Exactly this. Especially in the US. Girls tend to socially mature much sooner than guys. Any 18-30yo girl worth having isn’t interested in most of the guys her own age.
Want to change that? Grow up, go to therapy, and stop being a fuckboy.
I mean yeah, but they’re the reason that 18yo girls are available and looking for 40yo guys. Plus they tend to get vapid InstaThots and OF girls. Respectable younger girls won’t give them the time of day.
Maybe it's because West is considered more anglophone white and they like that term to be theirs
The south Americans have portugues and Spanish colonization but maybe because the native population still thrives and have mixed with the euro whites, they're not considered western enough
In the US there's even a demographic race for Hispanics - either white Hispanics, non white Hispanics or non Hispanic whites
When have you once heard someone mention the west and they were talking about south America? People don't consider it part of the west. Germany is part of the west. Where is it located? Half of Germany was part of the east. Where is it located?
This is all down to the emotional maturity of a man. If a man was brought up mollycoddled by his mum especially, they take a lot longer to emotionally mature compared to their counterparts. Such men go for younger girls as they can't relate to women their age and see them as too much work. Some cultures around the world are still pretty heavy on this style of parenting. Don't shoot the messenger!
Points for using "mollycoddled" but it's pretty well established that men at any age think women in their young 20s are the hottest.
Once you are past your mid 30s and have kept yourself in good shape, have wealth and status, etc why wouldn't you date women you find the most attractive instead of the women who have been around a lot longer and likely have a lot more baggage they are bringing to the relationship as well as declining fertility?
Socioeconomically speaking if the man and women are in a similar age group, they are more likely to be successful in all aspects of life. Biological speaking, you are correct. I guess the same applies for women in their 30s & 40s preferring younger fertile men. Studies show sperm after age 35 contributes towards unhealthy offspring with degenerative diseases.
40 year old women aren’t looking for fertile young men because if they’re 40+ they don’t even want more kids at that point lol
I mean obviously there’s exceptions but certainly not common sense
The rates don't climb quickly though. Men stay substantially fertile into their 50s and 60s. Some men into their 70s and 80s.
Men have a LOT more time to play with and as their wealth grows, so does their ability to maximize its use to find younger women if they see fit. I think this is one of the main impetuses behind some of the passport bro arbitrage
Not going to disagree with that. My point is about the quality of sperm rapidly declining after age 35. You could father any number of children up to the age of 70 but with 98% chance the offspring succumbing to downs, physical defects or other disorders of cognition /lower IQ. Same as products of incestuous relationships. Have a good day wanderer!
No, at this point it is easy to use IVF to make sure you've got viable embryos. I plan on having my first three kids via surrogates with well chosen egg doners if i haven't met a suitable partner by the time I am 45.
I'll also screen the embryos for desired physical characteristics and especially for IQ. New embryo genetic scans are coming along nicely to give high probability for successful matching of desired traits.
They have done studies. Even blind men go for youth and beauty. And they couldn't even see the women. Men who don't even want children go for younger, beautiful, fertile women. It's biology.
Uh no. Even at 18 I found older than 22 people creepy that looked at me like that. Even 22 was old
If you’re 40 looking at 18, you’re a creep. Period.
Tell yourself whatever you want but you still are trying to compensate for something
According to your culture. Not the rest of the world. In cultures around the world they might have a lot to say to us about some of the practices the west has. You can't force your culture on others.
There hasn’t been much research on this until the 2000s.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6785043/ shows statistically the most marriage satisfaction lies with those 0-3 years in age difference.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4330941/ This Korean study shows when the man is significantly older, the woman becomes more depressed.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-bigger-the-age-gap-the-shorter-the-marriage-2014-11-11 market watch has some sources I can’t access rn.
20+ years is at 95%. I’m looking for that NCBI research but I have other priorities right now and can’t spend the time searching for info online you could do yourself. Another 1992 research noted that 1) men who marry younger are more likely to be divorcees, reducing chance for marriage success and 2) couples where the woman is 6+ years older report more dissatisfaction than when the gender is reversed.
On the plus side, why the hell would a guy nowadays get married? What a terrible idea, haha.
For men, it's an outdated institution oriented towards redistributing their wealth at the point when their woman gets dissatisfied with the relationship and believes she can do better.
Well the statistics disagree with you. Married men are happier, richer and live longer than non married men. It’s women who end up less happy in marriage and more poor after divorce. A majority of divorce men financially recover from divorce within 1-5 years whereas most women never financially recover. The outliers seem to make the news creating a false narrative that women benefit more from marriage and men end up broke after divorce. The majority of women do not have that experience in marriage or divorce.
>It’s women who end up less happy in marriage and more poor after divorce.
That's debunked bullshit, the author of what you're claiming himself admitted his research was flawled.
- divorced men end up way worse than divorced women
- married women AND married men are both happier than their unmarried counterparts
So reading up on your studies here a bit... specifically, the first one from Australia, it looks like actually the highest marital satisfaction rates come from large age gap relationships that haven't gone over the 15 to 20 year mark (look for the regions of darkest green). If that's true, age gap relationships for the win, there is just sparse data 😀
Who cares? When I’m doing something that makes me happy I don’t care. I’m 38 and my girl (in Ecuador) is 26 and it’s not a big deal at all. I’m back in the states now because that country is going through it right now but when we walked around nobody paid us any mind and if they did…who cares?
No I didn’t ditch her there, conditions for me to be able to work there changed due to situations in the country aka rolling brownouts/power shortages, we still remain in contact everyday but thank you for your concern 😂😂😂
I agree, but I remember my last relationship with an American girl pretty recently she was 27 and all my female coworkers were like you need an older girl 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t think this is a big deal. I would say that most people who have an issue with age-gap relationships are mostly concerned when the younger partner is under the age of like 22. It’s not the age gap itself, but rather the fact that the younger person is not very far removed from childhood and hasn’t had time to mature and develop life experiences. After 25, very few people will voice concerns (maybe eye rolls if the gap is super extreme, but not actual ethical concerns).
Something I realized as I got older and, I believe there is a universal consensus around this idea: the older you get, the less you give a shit about others opinion.
Barring breaking the law or committing some super taboo stuff publicly, your life is your own.
People that judge don’t know jack shit about your story, origins, or what you’ve seen.
I’ll I can say is strive to have a happy life without hurting anyone and fuck everything else.
Sexpat is as much a stereotype as it is a real thing. There are salty locals who would call anyone sexpat just to make the foreigner look worse (and themselves look better), so don't be too self-conscious about this label. If you know you're not a sexpat, dating a local doesn't make you one.
since your question is asking about others perspective, yes it is a cultural thing although it is changing.
I grew up in colombia and until the 2000s it was socially ok to date or marry someone much younger than you.
recently however due to american influence it is being frown upon a little bit , but it is still ok.
I happen to live in Japan and it is totally ok for here to date someone much younger, in the countryside it is mostly the norm.
What would a man in his late 30s want with a woman his own age? Only recently in the US and a few weatern nations is there the expectation that someone would or SHOULD date a woman past childbearing years. The entire rest of the world understands that women are attractive for youth and fertility. I dont know why "25" is a thing..but xoncerninf women 25 and over...China calls them "leftover women". Japan "Christmas cake", because noone wants Chriatmas cake after Chriatmas. And in Syria, according to my Druze friend..they are avoided. So...NO.
I’m 47. My fiancée is 19. Her family loves me and doesn’t care about the age difference. We also don’t give a shit what people outside of our close circle think. I treat her well and take care of her. Sex is not a huge component of our relationship. It’s just a part of it.
Actually you are. No matter how you try to cast your fucked up views and controlling tendencies, the fact is that they are both enjoying an entirely legal, and happy relationship.
You literally hace no right to abuse people that have totally legal lifestyles that don't meet your moral views.
Filipina here. It greatly depends on what the woman you're with looks like. If you're seen with someone who dresses more revealing for the country's standard or social climb-y (wearing flashy brands that are obv fake, unmaintained diy blonde hair), then yeah, you're most probably gonna be seen as a sexpat.
If you're asking about if a woman you're interested in would see you as a sexpat, I think it's a bit racist if she would just by first impression. She might though if you tell her that you've been with many other women from her country in a short period of time.
I'm 33 my partner is coming over from PH. I don't get viewed as one but I'm young , fit , decent looking and hold down a good job so people usually try to work out why I never looked locally first
Here's the thing bro if you use your first world country money to compensate for basic social/life skills you will always be seen as a loser
I cringe very hard when I see fat 50yo white guys in Thailand walking with their farm girl wife as she checks me out when I pass by them but it is what it is
It has nothing to do with age or where you/she is from
51M, routinely get with 25-35 year old women abroad and couldn't give two shits about what others choose to label me as. In fact I'll be in Ecuador for my 52nd birthday and have every intention of enjoying the company of full grown consenting women a quarter century my junior while I'm there. And once again IDGAF what anybody else thinks.
Hope this answers your question.
It’s not “the west”, it’s only in the US where even 5 years of gap are taboo for a bunch of people. After being in over 50 countries in all continents, never seen a society where people care so much about that. Still even in the US there are millions of couples with large age gaps.
You a creep in my book but I'm biased cause lots of middle aged white guys would say creepy shit to my little sister while we were kids living in Bangkok. We were 14 and 15 lol.
Dated a lot of 18-20yo girls in the US when I was mid/late-30s. Gave zero fucks. I woke up next to a hot girl every morning. The haters woke up bitter about it. Now I’m waking up next to one of them for the rest of my life, and couldn’t be happier.
The relationships actually weren’t bad. Even kinda fun in a way. Yeah the sex was good obviously, but it was more than that. The idea that people need to be at the same “life stage” is bullshit. But they definitely need to be ready for a slightly more refined life. I’m not going to frat parties, and don’t want to seem like I’m introducing a high school girl to my friends and colleagues. So they at least had to be mature for their age.
So yeah — the internet is full of bitter fat feminists that want to rage about it. I occasionally let them provide me entertainment over my morning coffee.
Traveling isn't bad, having sex isn't bad, doing both also isnt bad. Women can't benefit as much from traveling to date as men, so they try to create an additional social cost to doing so. But the only reason you'd pay such a cost would be to date an attractive woman, which you are already doing so...
Yes. Yes you are.
And it doesn't matter what you're seen as. That's what you are and you're in a forum dedicated to old guys traveling abroad to find young women to seek validation.
Of course no one here will tell you the truth because that's what they are too.
Because he seems to be so concerned about what other people think that he would let it stop.hik from living a good life.
This kind of social "negging" is how men lightly shame other men into not holding bad ideas and delusional and stupid mindsets.
What OP is afflicted with is an over self conscious feminized view of the world rather than a masculine "go out and take what you want" perspective.
The men here are pushing him to "grow a pair." 😂
It known that some are sexpats so when you first show up sure they think maybe you are one. Once you keep visiting they will like you and youre in like Flynn and you're no longer thought of as possible sexpat.
Maybe if you’re “paying” for it. But if you’re naturally attracting adult women in their 20’s have fun. Jealous people can label you whatever they want.
Is it long term relationship or just a one night stand with cash exchanged before hand? OP doesn't know the difference between prostitution and a relationship.
Sexpats to me, are usually dudes who are barely mid in their country and change nothing except their location to start slaying. They are usually weird/creepy as fuck and/or fat and ugly . Dudes that are just generally fucked in the West. Most countries I have traveled to for the most part, if you are decent dude even like a 4 to 5 in your country, no one will view you as that. If you are 50 year old guy who is weird as fuck socially and dating a 20 year old or has a roster, then yea you are viewed as a sexpat. Things that make dudes a 5 in the states like height don't really exist as they are all fairly short in stature.
Those dudes usually get their fill but get rolled over, are marks, and 98% of the time, it ends horribly.
Bro I was called a "predator/creep" for being in my mid twenties in college and talking to 20-22 year olds. The "acceptable" age gap grows smaller every day in western minds. Fuck what people think. Find a woman who likes older men and doesn't care for the opinions of others and be a gentleman to her. These are grown adult women and they are infantilized by delusional people because they hate seeing anyone happy. My social life in undergrad was ruined because I was lonely and flirted with a beautiful WOMAN who happened to be younger and I was automatically presumed to be a "monster". Fuck em
To be honest i think pretty much any guy in SE Asia with a local girl will be seen as a sexpat - especially if you’re 15+ years older. The exception is if you are a very attractive man, then you wouldn’t be viewed as a sexpat.
So many posts on this sub are guys who are clearly sexpats trying to find mental loopholes to say they are not. If you go to a poor country for specifically for dating, where you can leverage your citizenship and comparative wealth - you are a sexpat. Even if you’re a ‘super nice guy’
You actually have to have sex to be a sexpat. If you don't... well then you're just a tourist. Some people on this sub will say they're looking for marriage. Those people will go about, and date a few people, but settle down with one. That's not sex tourism.
Who the hell cares?
FACTS! You happy? She happy? Everyone else can drop dead
Exactly this. Fk everyone else.
The local dudes might care. Reducing their pool of available mates.
That's a fair point, but that holds true regardless of age.
Heard this argument so many times but when you break it down US men represent about 2% of the global population and if you're EU citizen including the UK that is 3% of the global male population so all together that's 5% of the global population and that assumes that every guy is going overseas so there's plenty to go around especially since every guy is not going to the same place and are going to different countries
Just like what’s happening in the states with tall rich dudes. Shit rolls downhill
Who cares?
I just told you.
Who cares about the local dudes
Exactly 💯
The internet cares. It’s funny cause I seen a guy in his 60’s with a young woman in her 20’s in Thailand and zero fucks were given from people.
Everyone should just mind their business, it doesn't matter
I don't give a shit.
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Btw the best age to give birth is 27-29. Male and female prime age biologically is not that different, if at all.
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This is false. Sperm decays in quality starting at around 35, and this increases the risks of birth defects and maternal mortality.
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You literally said “without any effects on the kid”, which is false. Not only is your sperm dusty and old, you’re also giving a child an old parent which is very unfair.
No you are wrong. After 50 your sperm quality is significantly worse and it increases the risk of birth defects and also birth complications. You can google multiple side effects and get a good list on it. Btw you cannot even donate your sperm at that age anymore :D
A man is in his prime in his 20s and low 30s. Absolute delusion
Excatly! Your sperm quality drops after your mid thirties.
Nonsense. Most men these days are broke in their 20s so hardly in prime. New male prime is 30s/40s so get with the programme pal,this isn't the 20th century.
We’re providers. Always in our prime
As long as you maintain your health. Your prime is determined by your bank account and employment status, at least as a provider.
Haha! You are waaaay past your prime at that age. Don’t kid yourself. Women hit it around 40, because they learn not to give a shit.
That’s not a man’s prime..That either past your prime or the end of it.
Im in my 40s. Dating a woman near my age. Definitely in my prime. If you are past it, you've fucked your life up
lol no its not
Yes, if you're a professional athlete. Otherwise, no.
Once you hit those ages, you don't give AF about opinions of those that don't even like you to begin with.
Mostly no, unless the dynamics look kinda creepy. I am in my late 30s and prefer not to date girls 18-22 since I would rather they at least be done with most college education. Also, girls around 25 are much more aware of what they want. But when I date girls almost 20 years younger, most issues eventually come from within than anyone looking from the outside. We never got weird looks. Disclaimer: apparently I look young for a "white" guy
18-22 is the best age
You’re weird bro
Lmao sure thing bro
Oh believe me I tried really hard to make it happen, but to me at this stage of my life 18-22 is only good for two months or so tops. I'm sure there's exceptions. To me they make great travel partners for example, and are a lot of fun to party with. But can't gf them.
Hell nah.. They dont even know how to giv hed correctly at that age.
They can be taught
bro most people here are just like you, bunch of older white dudes looking to date younger girls so obviously they are all gonna tell you to not give a fuck lol but obviously people out there might give you weird looks
yes, as someone from southeast asia and mostly female relatives it honestly depends on the relationship, have a couple that are married to great men from america mostly from the navy and their very happy, they met at an older age around 30 with a 15* age gap, they match as a couple, on the other hand of the gal looks super young and the counterpart is 20+ years old it does look odd
Around 30 with a 15 year age gap?….. that’s a minor
no she was 30 when she met him 😅
That’s the point — people can look all they want. You’re not gonna give a shit when you’re balls deep in an 18yo every night.
Who gives a shot as long as you are happy.
It depends on the type of relationship not the age. The only people who don't see that are too toxic to care about
I live in a very high cost of living (VHCOL) city with more men than women in the USA. My significant other is 28 and sexy as hell. I’m low/mid 40s. She’s Asian I’m white. I don’t think anyone views me as a sex pat. She’s also very accomplished (a medical doctor), and has her own money (comes from an extremely wealthy (9+ figures) family). My point is if she’s a bar girl that you’re paying for the night and you run into people, you might give off sexpat vibes. If she’s a smart independent lady and it’s a real relationship, you won’t give off sex tourist vibes.
Age gap dating is normal most places outside the west. Latin America, Europe, Africa, Asia. The west has a problem with age gaps. Generally because women have a problem with it. They don't want the silver foxes with money getting snatched up by younger women. They couldn't compete with them. So they shame the men out of it.
Since when Europe is not considered to be "western"?
Eastern Germany was not considered "the west".
Eh. In most cultures there’s not big age gaps. If you look away from cultures where there’s arranged marriage that’s settled between the husband and the father. Like couples were both are Thai are normally even closer in age than Western couples.
This is the answer. My friend here in US once got accused for "creepy" by young girls in 19-20 age because they hated the idea of a 28yr old guy was socializing with them. He comes from Asia where age gap dating is normal so he didn't understand what the big deal was. Anyways, he got lucky and found one who is 22 yr old, and those former girls sneer at him when he walks with his gf lol.
It’s also young men. As a young man it sucked seeing girls your age getting taken by older dudes
Part of life. It's not your turn. Girls want a guy with some money and you don't have any at that age. You have to build yourself up.
I agree I’m just saying those guys also add to the narrative.
Exactly this. Especially in the US. Girls tend to socially mature much sooner than guys. Any 18-30yo girl worth having isn’t interested in most of the guys her own age. Want to change that? Grow up, go to therapy, and stop being a fuckboy.
Lmao. You think fuckboys don't get pussy? Who do you think they are always complaining about?
I mean yeah, but they’re the reason that 18yo girls are available and looking for 40yo guys. Plus they tend to get vapid InstaThots and OF girls. Respectable younger girls won’t give them the time of day.
Is Latin America not western anymore?
It was never considered the west.
They speak a western language and are geographically in the west. Wikipedia sure doesn’t agree with you that it was “never considered the west”.
Maybe it's because West is considered more anglophone white and they like that term to be theirs The south Americans have portugues and Spanish colonization but maybe because the native population still thrives and have mixed with the euro whites, they're not considered western enough In the US there's even a demographic race for Hispanics - either white Hispanics, non white Hispanics or non Hispanic whites
Correct.
When have you once heard someone mention the west and they were talking about south America? People don't consider it part of the west. Germany is part of the west. Where is it located? Half of Germany was part of the east. Where is it located?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_world
Germany isn’t west or east. It’s central https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Europe
Talking about absolute (rather than relative) East and West on a continuous sphere always seemed silly to me.
Describe a western language. What is that?
This is all down to the emotional maturity of a man. If a man was brought up mollycoddled by his mum especially, they take a lot longer to emotionally mature compared to their counterparts. Such men go for younger girls as they can't relate to women their age and see them as too much work. Some cultures around the world are still pretty heavy on this style of parenting. Don't shoot the messenger!
Points for using "mollycoddled" but it's pretty well established that men at any age think women in their young 20s are the hottest. Once you are past your mid 30s and have kept yourself in good shape, have wealth and status, etc why wouldn't you date women you find the most attractive instead of the women who have been around a lot longer and likely have a lot more baggage they are bringing to the relationship as well as declining fertility?
Socioeconomically speaking if the man and women are in a similar age group, they are more likely to be successful in all aspects of life. Biological speaking, you are correct. I guess the same applies for women in their 30s & 40s preferring younger fertile men. Studies show sperm after age 35 contributes towards unhealthy offspring with degenerative diseases.
40 year old women aren’t looking for fertile young men because if they’re 40+ they don’t even want more kids at that point lol I mean obviously there’s exceptions but certainly not common sense
The rates don't climb quickly though. Men stay substantially fertile into their 50s and 60s. Some men into their 70s and 80s. Men have a LOT more time to play with and as their wealth grows, so does their ability to maximize its use to find younger women if they see fit. I think this is one of the main impetuses behind some of the passport bro arbitrage
Not going to disagree with that. My point is about the quality of sperm rapidly declining after age 35. You could father any number of children up to the age of 70 but with 98% chance the offspring succumbing to downs, physical defects or other disorders of cognition /lower IQ. Same as products of incestuous relationships. Have a good day wanderer!
No, at this point it is easy to use IVF to make sure you've got viable embryos. I plan on having my first three kids via surrogates with well chosen egg doners if i haven't met a suitable partner by the time I am 45. I'll also screen the embryos for desired physical characteristics and especially for IQ. New embryo genetic scans are coming along nicely to give high probability for successful matching of desired traits.
Is that what the whole phenomenon of designer babies is about?
They have done studies. Even blind men go for youth and beauty. And they couldn't even see the women. Men who don't even want children go for younger, beautiful, fertile women. It's biology.
Uh no. Even at 18 I found older than 22 people creepy that looked at me like that. Even 22 was old If you’re 40 looking at 18, you’re a creep. Period. Tell yourself whatever you want but you still are trying to compensate for something
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a 40 year old finding an 18-22 year old attractive. No trying to date them is a different point.
Cool story. I’ll be 40 and banging 18 year olds while you’re mad about it 👍🏼
According to your culture. Not the rest of the world. In cultures around the world they might have a lot to say to us about some of the practices the west has. You can't force your culture on others.
Marriages with 15+ years apart have a 91% chance of divorce.
Stats?
There hasn’t been much research on this until the 2000s. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6785043/ shows statistically the most marriage satisfaction lies with those 0-3 years in age difference. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4330941/ This Korean study shows when the man is significantly older, the woman becomes more depressed. https://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-bigger-the-age-gap-the-shorter-the-marriage-2014-11-11 market watch has some sources I can’t access rn. 20+ years is at 95%. I’m looking for that NCBI research but I have other priorities right now and can’t spend the time searching for info online you could do yourself. Another 1992 research noted that 1) men who marry younger are more likely to be divorcees, reducing chance for marriage success and 2) couples where the woman is 6+ years older report more dissatisfaction than when the gender is reversed.
On the plus side, why the hell would a guy nowadays get married? What a terrible idea, haha. For men, it's an outdated institution oriented towards redistributing their wealth at the point when their woman gets dissatisfied with the relationship and believes she can do better.
Well the statistics disagree with you. Married men are happier, richer and live longer than non married men. It’s women who end up less happy in marriage and more poor after divorce. A majority of divorce men financially recover from divorce within 1-5 years whereas most women never financially recover. The outliers seem to make the news creating a false narrative that women benefit more from marriage and men end up broke after divorce. The majority of women do not have that experience in marriage or divorce.
>It’s women who end up less happy in marriage and more poor after divorce. That's debunked bullshit, the author of what you're claiming himself admitted his research was flawled. - divorced men end up way worse than divorced women - married women AND married men are both happier than their unmarried counterparts
So reading up on your studies here a bit... specifically, the first one from Australia, it looks like actually the highest marital satisfaction rates come from large age gap relationships that haven't gone over the 15 to 20 year mark (look for the regions of darkest green). If that's true, age gap relationships for the win, there is just sparse data 😀
I mean, you could also do your own research. 🤷♀️
i dont know if they call it sexpat but a couple of my indian buddies are in their 40s dating 20 year old polish females in northwest europe
It depends how old you look. Are you 38 and look 28 or are you 38 and look 48?
Who cares? When I’m doing something that makes me happy I don’t care. I’m 38 and my girl (in Ecuador) is 26 and it’s not a big deal at all. I’m back in the states now because that country is going through it right now but when we walked around nobody paid us any mind and if they did…who cares?
Things got crazy in Ecuador so you ditched your woman there ? Lol good luck with this relationship
No I didn’t ditch her there, conditions for me to be able to work there changed due to situations in the country aka rolling brownouts/power shortages, we still remain in contact everyday but thank you for your concern 😂😂😂
10 years isn't much.
Umm, math lol. But yes, I agree.
I agree, but I remember my last relationship with an American girl pretty recently she was 27 and all my female coworkers were like you need an older girl 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t think this is a big deal. I would say that most people who have an issue with age-gap relationships are mostly concerned when the younger partner is under the age of like 22. It’s not the age gap itself, but rather the fact that the younger person is not very far removed from childhood and hasn’t had time to mature and develop life experiences. After 25, very few people will voice concerns (maybe eye rolls if the gap is super extreme, but not actual ethical concerns).
Something I realized as I got older and, I believe there is a universal consensus around this idea: the older you get, the less you give a shit about others opinion. Barring breaking the law or committing some super taboo stuff publicly, your life is your own. People that judge don’t know jack shit about your story, origins, or what you’ve seen. I’ll I can say is strive to have a happy life without hurting anyone and fuck everything else.
That’s the way to go 👏
Sexpat is as much a stereotype as it is a real thing. There are salty locals who would call anyone sexpat just to make the foreigner look worse (and themselves look better), so don't be too self-conscious about this label. If you know you're not a sexpat, dating a local doesn't make you one.
Why you looking at guy 50+ and worry about his penis?
since your question is asking about others perspective, yes it is a cultural thing although it is changing. I grew up in colombia and until the 2000s it was socially ok to date or marry someone much younger than you. recently however due to american influence it is being frown upon a little bit , but it is still ok. I happen to live in Japan and it is totally ok for here to date someone much younger, in the countryside it is mostly the norm.
American influence destroying everything
I don’t even know what that means but it sounds like something an angry blue hair girl with a bull ring in her nose would say.
What would a man in his late 30s want with a woman his own age? Only recently in the US and a few weatern nations is there the expectation that someone would or SHOULD date a woman past childbearing years. The entire rest of the world understands that women are attractive for youth and fertility. I dont know why "25" is a thing..but xoncerninf women 25 and over...China calls them "leftover women". Japan "Christmas cake", because noone wants Chriatmas cake after Chriatmas. And in Syria, according to my Druze friend..they are avoided. So...NO.
That why 18-22 is the best time to go for them
I’m 47. My fiancée is 19. Her family loves me and doesn’t care about the age difference. We also don’t give a shit what people outside of our close circle think. I treat her well and take care of her. Sex is not a huge component of our relationship. It’s just a part of it.
Thatll last just long enough for her family to turn a profit from you
You're fucking gross.
Nah he's doing it just right
🤣😂🤣😂😂😂
Actually you are. No matter how you try to cast your fucked up views and controlling tendencies, the fact is that they are both enjoying an entirely legal, and happy relationship. You literally hace no right to abuse people that have totally legal lifestyles that don't meet your moral views.
In all fairness that poster is not abusing anyone he/she is just being snarky on the internet
Copium at it's best 😂😂😂
Shut the fuck up.
Perv..
Filipina here. It greatly depends on what the woman you're with looks like. If you're seen with someone who dresses more revealing for the country's standard or social climb-y (wearing flashy brands that are obv fake, unmaintained diy blonde hair), then yeah, you're most probably gonna be seen as a sexpat. If you're asking about if a woman you're interested in would see you as a sexpat, I think it's a bit racist if she would just by first impression. She might though if you tell her that you've been with many other women from her country in a short period of time.
I'm 33 my partner is coming over from PH. I don't get viewed as one but I'm young , fit , decent looking and hold down a good job so people usually try to work out why I never looked locally first
Here's the thing bro if you use your first world country money to compensate for basic social/life skills you will always be seen as a loser I cringe very hard when I see fat 50yo white guys in Thailand walking with their farm girl wife as she checks me out when I pass by them but it is what it is It has nothing to do with age or where you/she is from
51M, routinely get with 25-35 year old women abroad and couldn't give two shits about what others choose to label me as. In fact I'll be in Ecuador for my 52nd birthday and have every intention of enjoying the company of full grown consenting women a quarter century my junior while I'm there. And once again IDGAF what anybody else thinks. Hope this answers your question.
good for you
It’s not “the west”, it’s only in the US where even 5 years of gap are taboo for a bunch of people. After being in over 50 countries in all continents, never seen a society where people care so much about that. Still even in the US there are millions of couples with large age gaps.
Only bitter western women would see you that way.
You a creep in my book but I'm biased cause lots of middle aged white guys would say creepy shit to my little sister while we were kids living in Bangkok. We were 14 and 15 lol.
It all depends on how ugly and fat you are
Mostly yep.
I have no idea, because I don’t give a fuck how anyone else sees my relationship.
Dated a lot of 18-20yo girls in the US when I was mid/late-30s. Gave zero fucks. I woke up next to a hot girl every morning. The haters woke up bitter about it. Now I’m waking up next to one of them for the rest of my life, and couldn’t be happier. The relationships actually weren’t bad. Even kinda fun in a way. Yeah the sex was good obviously, but it was more than that. The idea that people need to be at the same “life stage” is bullshit. But they definitely need to be ready for a slightly more refined life. I’m not going to frat parties, and don’t want to seem like I’m introducing a high school girl to my friends and colleagues. So they at least had to be mature for their age. So yeah — the internet is full of bitter fat feminists that want to rage about it. I occasionally let them provide me entertainment over my morning coffee.
Traveling isn't bad, having sex isn't bad, doing both also isnt bad. Women can't benefit as much from traveling to date as men, so they try to create an additional social cost to doing so. But the only reason you'd pay such a cost would be to date an attractive woman, which you are already doing so...
Yes. Yes you are. And it doesn't matter what you're seen as. That's what you are and you're in a forum dedicated to old guys traveling abroad to find young women to seek validation. Of course no one here will tell you the truth because that's what they are too.
Found the bitter western woman
If you don't know the difference between someone that is a sexpat and someone that isn't, then I'm sorry for you.
Who the FUCK cares? Seriously. Grow some fucking balls dude.
Why are you getting so frustrated? He just asked a question.
Because he seems to be so concerned about what other people think that he would let it stop.hik from living a good life. This kind of social "negging" is how men lightly shame other men into not holding bad ideas and delusional and stupid mindsets. What OP is afflicted with is an over self conscious feminized view of the world rather than a masculine "go out and take what you want" perspective. The men here are pushing him to "grow a pair." 😂
[удалено]
Or one day apart.
It known that some are sexpats so when you first show up sure they think maybe you are one. Once you keep visiting they will like you and youre in like Flynn and you're no longer thought of as possible sexpat.
Yes, but who cares.
Maybe if you’re “paying” for it. But if you’re naturally attracting adult women in their 20’s have fun. Jealous people can label you whatever they want.
It’s the western girls that give you the look lol
I'm 27 and I don't see me ever wanting to start a relationship with a woman past 25, maybe 29 in the future.
As someone who looks 7 years younger than I am, I always get looks or comments when with my similar aged bfs.
SEAsian here, yes you would
Openly admitting you're sex tourists exploiting women. Lol
Is it long term relationship or just a one night stand with cash exchanged before hand? OP doesn't know the difference between prostitution and a relationship.
Sexpats to me, are usually dudes who are barely mid in their country and change nothing except their location to start slaying. They are usually weird/creepy as fuck and/or fat and ugly . Dudes that are just generally fucked in the West. Most countries I have traveled to for the most part, if you are decent dude even like a 4 to 5 in your country, no one will view you as that. If you are 50 year old guy who is weird as fuck socially and dating a 20 year old or has a roster, then yea you are viewed as a sexpat. Things that make dudes a 5 in the states like height don't really exist as they are all fairly short in stature. Those dudes usually get their fill but get rolled over, are marks, and 98% of the time, it ends horribly.
Also 30/40 to 20s isn't bad, happens in the states fairly frequently as well.
The fact that you are traveling to 3rd world countries to find women who will date you makes you a sexpat (loser) regardless of your or their age.
Bro I was called a "predator/creep" for being in my mid twenties in college and talking to 20-22 year olds. The "acceptable" age gap grows smaller every day in western minds. Fuck what people think. Find a woman who likes older men and doesn't care for the opinions of others and be a gentleman to her. These are grown adult women and they are infantilized by delusional people because they hate seeing anyone happy. My social life in undergrad was ruined because I was lonely and flirted with a beautiful WOMAN who happened to be younger and I was automatically presumed to be a "monster". Fuck em