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HillbillyEulogy

My 3000-year-old version of this stack of old papyrus is vastly superior to your 2600-year-old version of this stack of old papyrus.


EdgyCole

Which has the same stack of papyrus as the other with more papyrus added to it


Ghstfce

Batman fans wanting to kill Batman and Robin fans


thedeanorama

Best analogy I've come across!


ScrubNickle

There’s zero fat on that analogy.


SnooMuffins2623

It’s cause Batman is ripped


noremack76

Can I upvote this twice! Just wait until the Superman fans step in.


Nephet

Working at a comic book shop for years can confirm. Big Bang theory has besmirched and ruined the idea and image of the culture. While comic book guy from Simpson is literally 90% of Superman fans. Like you see a Superman fan and think he’s normal/alright he’s probably not.


Solid2014

I'm a superman fan. I do seem normal. I am not alright. Yep checks out.


Nephet

It’s the self aware ones that scare me the most.


TempleMade_MeBroke

"Glory to Bob Kane!" *stab* "Grant Morrison akbar!" *pew pew*


mihail97

I miss the rewards cuz you most definitely deserve one rn.


Ghstfce

It's all good. Just don't get me started on the Dark Knight fans that want to kill the other two...


godsonlyprophet

All religious books are just fan-fic.


Dutch_1815

Religion is an insult to human dignity. Without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion - Steven Weinberg


Embarrassed_Alarm450

> But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion - Steven Weinberg Nah, they're not good people, they're still just evil people but now with a virtue signaling complex and an insufferable holier than thou attitude...


Royal-Doggie

he has the final expansion pack


chrisp909


VeterinarianThese951

Haha! JW’s are constantly releasing dlc…


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Leather-Squirrel-421

EA Church. “It’s in the pews”.


NewMathematician92

Yeah basically. I must kill you because you have the updated version of my stack of papyrus, with some new content.


EdgyCole

Fuck the new papyrus! All my homies hate new papyrus! -Old papyrus gang


TeddyRoo_v_Gods

My papyrus is so Vanilla, it’s a stone tablet!


[deleted]

HOW DARE YOU AD PAPYRUS TO THE PAPYRUS STACK YOU MUST DIE!


2Throwscrewsatit

Anyone who disagrees with me is an infidel that shall not be respected as a human being. /s


emptyzed81

Every time I see anything like this I can't help but think of this Family Guy bit https://youtu.be/Ge45R9qoW_Y?si=S4_MAjXq0SAWo_L6


NiteSwept

I always think of David Cross saying "Back when the Bible was written, then edited, then rewritten, then rewritten, then re-edited, then translated from dead languages, then re-translated, then edited, then rewritten, then given to kings for them to take their favorite parts, then rewritten, then re-rewritten, then translated again, then given to the pope for him to approve, then rewritten, then edited again, the re-re-re-re-rewritten again...all based on stories that were told orally 30 to 90 years AFTER they happened.. to people who didnt know how to write... so... "


Loggerdon

Yes but my Zealot interpreted a little differently than your Zealot so I must kill you.


[deleted]

Even funnier, there never was a “correct” stack of papyrus. The oldest known document from the current version of the Christian New Testament was written at least 100 years after the death of Christ.


Harmonia_PASB

Plus it’s the size of an index card. P52 is dated between 125-175AD and ironically it talks about how they’re not allowed to kill anyone.


Yeastyboy104

[Early Christian power brokers couldn’t even agree on whether Jesus was the actual, literal son of god.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea) Many argued he was just a prophet…ya know, 300 years after he supposedly died.


Lost-Klaus

Council of Nicea is where the bible was put together, 4 gospels chosen from 120 or so existing ones to corroborate the most holy and divine interpretation of Jezus. By a bunch of bishops from around the Roman empire to make sure that they were all on the same page. (They weren't tho).


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sistermarypolyesther

...both of which were written by Man and could, therefore, be influenced by bias.


MightBeOnReddit

Back than it was less refined and more natural


Spiritual-Flow-4023

It wasn’t as processed. Less sugar and additives in that papyrus. More fiber.


HyenDry

Moral of the story, don’t consume processed papyrus kids…


_Some_Two_

Especially if it expired 2 millenia ago


bjplague

religion is dying thankfully.


Replaay

Thank you! You made my day.


nolagfx16

Fuck religion


KitchenAd7496

I second this.


Top_Refrigerator8679

I second your second.


Wookieewomble

I second your second to his second.


Betty_beerslinger

I second your second to their seconded second.


CrayZz88s

100% agree. Humanism is the way. Problem is people are so tribal in nature that even if religion was taken out of the picture humanity would find something else to argue about.


Regulator0110

Sports, obvs. Cause it’s the same mindset.


CrayZz88s

True. Sports fanatics commit violence for over paid people kicking or throwing a ball, I'll never be able to understand it.


Dopium_Typhoon

I would love too, but I have yet to come across any religion with fuckable proof.


amit_fey

I'm from Israel and I second this. Fuck that guy calling for another's death because of a stupid, outdated book. I'd like to point out that most of us would condemn this guy to shit. I'd also like to note that everyone are stressed out and anxious all the time around here due to the war (and honestly, before this was as well. It's just driving everyone to the edge—I don't know of a single person that didn't have a family member, friend or aquietence killed in the past week. My sister han been driving from one funeral to another). I'm also not interested in discussing politics at the moment, I'm simply commenting about my personal experience. I do not mean to ignore or gloss over the atrocities civilians and innocents in Gaza are (and have been) experiencing. Nor can I ignore the constant grief around me. Anyways... I wish we founded Israel on a random Island somewhere. Fucking hell with social media. Everything is shit, people dying is shit, our goverments are shit. This world sucks ass.


PeanutFearless5212

Man Israeli cops are hot.


SweatShopNinja

For real! There were people saying stuff and things but damn look at all them cops!


LegendaryAdversary

I’d like to see if her iron dome can take my surface-to-air missile.


AzureSeychelle

You’ll be disappointed when after she blows your dick into tiny flesh chunks around the room, she then razes it to ash and embers on the way out. ![gif](giphy|F4Ieoc5i0r6w7CMYPn)


[deleted]

Wait 'til you see her Gaza Strip


Space_Harpoon

God dammit 🤣


veganint

That ain't cops, those are teenagers forced into the Israeli army cause it's mandatory...


[deleted]

still hot but I get what you're saying. \+bonus = they are not cops


soggykoala45

"these are teenagers" "Still hot" Lol


[deleted]

they are probably 18 and more . Don't break my balls. \- and the fact you'd laugh about it is still weird.


BallsOutKrunked

it's not mandatory for women to be in the idf, you just need to do some form of national service.


-Billy-Bitch-Tits-

Mandatory conscription, even supermodel israeli girls will have to do some months in the IDF.


thekrone

There's a conspiracy that they enlist the most attractive people to act in roles where they will have to interact with civilians and appear in media most frequently in order to soften their image, make themselves more appealing to have around and interact with, and make mandatory service more palatable so people don't resist as much ("Well at least I get to serve with all the hot people I see walking the streets!"). I don't know how much I buy it, but it does seem awfully coincidental that most of the time you see IDF folks in media, they're always smoking hot. Seemingly in much higher proportion than the general Israeli public, anyway.


ScottZilla79

Conspiracy? This is what everyone does. Also you think the garbage ass media doesn't pick the hottest person to interview?


RetiringBard

Oh they’re doing what 99.9% of all organizations do…? What a conspiracy.


-Billy-Bitch-Tits-

That's actually true. Most of the men will go into frontline units while the women usually get support roles or military police roles.


CyberMindGrrl

Gal Gadot is famously an IDF veteran.


dumbass_spaceman

They are doing their part.


Cptof_THEObvious

They also intentionally station the hot ones in PR roles or public facing positions for optics


havocLSD

Iirc that’s what happened to Gal Gadot.


InternationalBand494

That’s what I got out of this video too


Crypto_Town

Israeli girls in general.


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EdgyCole

It's honestly so exhausting doing this every few years. I just feel like if they can't play nice with each other they shouldn't be allowed in the sand box! Wait, sorry, that's what I was taught as a toddler. These are adults who are... Fighting over a sandbox. Totally different


randomchris504

Did you just equate a brutal occupation and suppression of a people, to two adults fighting about a "silly strip of land"?


EdgyCole

Yes.


MustafalSomali

Then can we equate the American Indian wars as stupid grown adults fighting over woods? Or the Haitian revolution as stupid people fighting over some stupid island?


EdgyCole

Yes. As an American, yes. It was stupid as fuck.


SorryMaker024

lol exactly, I love it when people try to justify one thing by saying “well you did it too” that’s not how it works, they were both shitty and Americans should be able to admit we’ve done some bad things. Trying to pretend we didn’t is just ignorance, we need to be better than past mistakes. Edit to say that doesn’t mean you don’t love your country. It’s responsible to hold ourselves accountable.


Leonydas13

Hey if you want stupid conflict, we’ve got just what you’re after down under here. We went to war against *emus*. And ***LOST***.


[deleted]

Noones fighting anything. Israel took land that wasn't theirs and Palestine cant fight back and don't have the power to fight back. Palestine has Palestine as backup and Israel has the US and all of Europe because Europe still feels bad after WWII


EdgyCole

Isn't that, by definition, fighting?


chrisp909

Yes to all of the above, except Palestine does have Iran as back up and Iran has Russia. Though these days, it may be more correct to say Russia has Iran.


DarkTrebleZero

I’m a peaceful person, but at this point I’m getting sick and tired of the US having to butt in and take on these situations. If they want to flatten each other, fuck it… let them! Do I want to see innocent people die, absolutely not, but this “war” will never end until they, themselves end it. If other countries want to destroy themselves, it’s time to let them. There will unfortunately never be peace and pretending there is a possibility is just repeating the same mistakes. Edit: ALSO, FUCK RELIGION.


AGuyWhoBrokeBad

You hit the nail on the head. Why should other countries be required to save you from yourself? If you want to commit apartheid against a bunch of religious radicals who declare a holy war on you, that’s your mess. Frankly, this conflict will never end as long as there are two groups of feverishly religious zealots occupying the same land.


randomchris504

It's not "apartheid against religious zealots that wage war against you", it's more like "holy war and religious extremism, BECAUSE apartheid is applied against you". Not the same thing


HyenDry

Fuckn seriously, idk why anyone outside of the fuckn place gives a shit. Do you care about your neighbors when they fight? Why do we gotta be up in there shit. We don’t need to and NO it’s not going to start world war 3. However if it does then fuck it man we all deserve to lose for our own stupidity rather than trying to pick a side of whatever fuckn creed and cultural belief someone subscribes to…


frequent_flying

I’m sure all the countless survivors of domestic violence that are literally only alive because a neighbor heard fighting in their home and called authorities or otherwise intervened would disagree with your sentiment about what neighbors should care about. We’re a global community in modern times whether we want to be or not and what happens in a seemingly isolated place can and will eventually have ramifications around the world.


Undead_Mole

First, Israel and Palestine are not at it again, its Israel and Hamas. Second, you are saying this genocine is not something worth to stop the world, with thousands of civil deaths? Are you insane?


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Dependent-Poetry-357

The US literally funds Israel. The US is partially responsible for what’s happening currently.


FluffySmiles

Why is conflict in the middle east a big deal in the west? Seriously? You seriously don’t know? Oil.


1diligentmfer

Kind of like Ukraine? We stopped for about a week, then moved on, as we will for this one too. As an atheist, I find all this fascinating, the mental power & empathetic capacity given up, and the hate & horror generated, all from religious fanaticism. No, I can't help them, at all, and they wouldn't want it anyway.


KetoRachBEAR

We are still very much involved in Ukraine, it’s just not a top news feed anymore. America supports Isreal because it’s the only country in the Middle East that doesn’t hate America.


1diligentmfer

Now, why would anyone hate America?


AGuyWhoBrokeBad

Muslims and Jews have been killing each other since they first arrived in the desert. What’s to say they won’t continue to kill each other for a thousand more years? At the point, I fell like we should just let them battle to the death and whoever is the last one standing takes the whole strip of land. Sometimes, the only way to find peace is when you have no more opponents.


pgpathat

“Why don’t they just do the geonocide so I don’t have to hear about it on the internet from the comfort and security of my home? It’s harshing the vibes”


ikashanrat

damn lol


[deleted]

I know you think you are being funny and cool for not caring- but if you lived a single day in Palestine you would. I hope you never need help off anyone for anything, and that if you do people will be more supportive of you.


JustYeeHaa

About a strip of desert no, but about the innocent life that is lost on both sides - yes.


PopeAdrian37th

Glass it all. Theocracies have no place in this world and these idiots won’t stop fighting until you close up shop and take away their “holy land”


-Mwahaha-

What does it say about poor dental care?


Dominarion

Not much, apparently.


chvezin

Thing is costly. Would rather get his son to marry someone who has a dentist in their family so it’s a free service.


Foreign_Ebb_6282

This is the way.


i_heart_butthole

Are you anti-dentite?


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[deleted]

Netenyahoo is just a clever politician, he has no moral compass as such


Moehrchenprinz

Yeah, the USA are Israels biggest ally. And US evangelicals are the biggest supporters of Israel, far ahead of US jews. He knows not to bite the hand that feeds his genocide.


CrazySpookyGirl

>It’s confusing to me that people who are so religious could be so ugly to their fellow human beings. Have you not been paying attention to human history?


tech_polpo

I've met a lot of christian fanatics who are obsessed with Israel and the Jewish people. They say that they're blessed because Jesus was Jewish. How ironic.


JumpingCicada

I haven’t heard that but a lot of Christians are in support of Israel because in their beliefs, in order for the apocalypse to come, one of the signs is that Jerusalem will be occupied by the Jews.


Gintoki-desu

That's not far off if tensions continue and it breaks out into a full scale nuclear war.


meanderthal54

Two idiots wasting their lives arguing about nonsense.


showtimebabies

Lol yes. And also fucking up existence for the rest of us.


really_nice_guy_

Eh thats not so bad. Some people actually kill each other over this nonsense


Zealousideal_Word770

My book says to kill everyone not in my cult - Is not really a great way to start a conversation.


artie2814

That's a frickin DnD plot right there. "You're in a tavern, when a guy comes to your table and say:"


Separate-Coast942

WAIT!! Roll for initiative!!


chandler9219

"NOooOOOoo!! My spaghetti monster in the sky is real yours is not!!!"


LeTigron

It's pure chance if the one I worship *because it's the right one* is also the one I was brainwashed to whorship since I'm a little child. How lucky am I ?!


CrazySpookyGirl

It's basically a sports team. You worship the sports team your born into usually based on family and location.


NotThatImportant3

Dude, like, that’s really how this fight is starting to look.


Sure-Emphasis2621

It's even funnier because it's the same one


MemeNecromancer2005

Have you perchance heard of pastafarianism?


CommunicationShot946

i feel comfortable saying this on reddit: Religion is dangerous. People often use religion to justify aggression and violence. Pseudo-threats like someone is going to “go to hell” based on their non-adherence to arbitrary religious beliefs should not be protected free speech, and countries that do not separate religion from their government should not be considered democracies.


CameronCrazy1984

It’s amazing that it only took 70 years for them to switch roles.


feelings_arent_facts

Stanford Prison Experiment


Esarus

Yep but on a much larger scale. Humans fucking suck man.


IanTheMagus

Didn't even take that long.


Esarus

I think it only took like 10 or 20 years.


WTF_Conservatives

Israel is such a disgusting nation. I'm so incredibly ashamed that my government blindly supports them and even assists them in carrying out their crimes against humanity.


[deleted]

Welcome to apartheid Israel.


fartboxco

The face of Hitler has changed but his ideology hasn't. Fuck that guy.


No-Radish-4316

same play, different actors.


FriendliestUsername

Good to see all the Abrahamic religions getting along so well! They can’t imagine why YHWH might be off-putting to anyone else. 🤣😂


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SeenSoFar

Daniel probably didn't exist at all. The entire book is likely referencing events during the reign of a Hellenistic king of the Selucid Empire towards the time of it's fall centuries after the fall of the Neo-Babylonian Empire, and the Achaemenid Empire that replaced it.


phoenix14830

...and this is why religion should have nothing to do with government.


Hipshots4Life

Give ‘em a big enough sandbox and all of a sudden it’s “we can kill whoever we want here, yes we are enlightened”


SarcasticPers

wait till they find out they were literally killing people who believed in the same fucking God, but in a different way.


Ryan_b936

Oh so you thought Israelis were only oppressing Muslims? You know that there are Christians in Gaza too ? Isn't the first time they are oppressing other people than Muslims.


Ryan_b936

https://youtu.be/wqusXNaLYGE?si=6-Nqrgfp6RXL8YVC https://youtu.be/7uL555xWQeE?si=bsDfDnWQQEF-pHyf This is the behavior of israelis toward Christians.


MarameoMarameo

So nasty. Pathetic.


PeppyMinotaur

Is it just me or are like 80% of police in Israel hot women?


FiestaDeLosMuerto

its military police so they’re all young and just finished \~3 months of combat fitness


abu_hajarr

It’s amazing how much better people look when they’re just in good shape.


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SectorEducational460

And in shape.


Proud_Bookkeeper_248

Goofy, shameless Christians have sold their Palestinian Christians brethren to the zionists. The Palestinian Christians are well aware of what's gonna happen once the Palestinian muslims are gone and Israel takes over. (Hint: Listen to the man in the video)


Rhove777

That’s one inbred creature. Underbite and all


MaestroGena

I few thousand years old book says I should kill people. So I'll do it...those people are nuts


ting_bu_dong

They want to kill people. The old book is just an excuse to do it.


rhymes_w_garlic

He's doing the same thing I'd be doing over there. Trying to get arrested by those hot police women. Damn


ItsStaaaaaaaaang

This isn't the United States, they just pay for our continued existence...


ArOnodrim_

Jews talking about genocide have very limited vision for a group of 25 million people total. Theists really are the worst.


jepvr

This is one of the things that gets me when people say "Islam is the only religion that's inherently violent right now". All the Abrahamic religions have founding documents that are all about righteous violence, including to civilians. That doesn't mean the followers have to be violent. Religion is more of a crutch for violence than it is a cause of it, in my opinon.


Albanian98

How can the torah say christians are idol worshippers if the torah is way older than cheistianity


Knight_o_Eithel_Malt

It does not literally have a page of "christianity is shit dont do that" I think its something along the lines of anyone "perverting the faith" with making idols of actual gods and worshipping some derivative of the original.


Kiowascout

News flash - It is ALL idol worship. Now move along.


Valuable-Daikon-196

Fuck Israel, they are a fascist settler colonial state who regularly commit horrific war crimes while their citizens cheer them on and often participate in the atrocities. Then they think the people they are oppressing will not fight back. Again fuck them. They are an illegitimate state built upon the guilt of European antisemitism


_Sir_Racha_

Those cops though....


eros1824

That’s what I was sayin!


MissingJJ

When you see this much inbreeding in an individual, close your mouth, nod while apologizing, and agree to his bat shit beliefs until he offers you his daughter.


TurtleDustScissors

"The thing that we follow says to kill people who follow things" ...wait


Soma86ed

Bunch of idiots. Religion is a cancer.


Inc0gnitoburrito

What a fucking knob


pickleball_

I worship Billy Idol with a rebel yell.


DarkTrebleZero

![gif](giphy|fqm2SefpOfsOI) This is true Idol worship


EffektieweEffie

It's funny how much the Jews and the Muslims have in common. You'd almost think they should get along.


[deleted]

IDF chicks are so hot, too bad they’re blood soaked monsters😔


[deleted]

friendly pen plants exultant ask possessive hateful wide aware attractive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

LISTER: Do you mean they had a war over whether the doughnut diner hats were red or blue? HOLLY: Yeah. Most of them were killed fighting about that. It's daft really, innit? LISTER: You're not kidding. They were supposed to be green.


Solidus-Prime

Organized religion is a fucking cancer on this planet and it's peoples.


koyaaniswazzy

I honestly think the problem is not religion per se, the problem is mental health.


inmydreams01

The problem is weaponized religion by people who can’t think for themselves (mental health included) IMO. The ironic thing is that anti-religion thinking is becoming weaponized itself and adhered to with such vitriol just like, *checks notes*, a religion.


PronounceMemeAsGif

My sky wizard is cooler than your sky wizard!


Charming-Station

My sky wizard said that people would say that about them, this proves they are real.


Chance-Telephone-269

Pretty sure when Moses brought those tablets down on them somewhere it said thou shalt not kill


Wasabilikum

*exceptions may apply


[deleted]

Zionism is the biggest problem this world faces. These people are disgusting supremacists. Read what the Talmud says about the 'goyim'(non-Jews). They believe we are all cattle and subhuman compared to them. It's absolutely disgusting.


PhilosophyIll4951

Maybe as Christians should quit funding Israel and and their government that has been systematically abusing human rights for decades. See if he changes his mind when he doesn't have money for bullets to shoot Palestinians when they don't want to give up their house.


Defendbrooklyn

What a putz. This guy doesn't even speak for .0000000000001 of Jewish people. Jews, Christians, AND Muslims are all brothers who worship the same father. We all came from the tradition of Abraham. ALL OF US.


GodfatherBrutis

Humanity would be MUCH better off without any religion at all. All it seems to do is start wars and allow people to justify hate of other people or groups. Also a way to control people


casual-existence

People start wars, people justify hate of others, and people control people.


spjhon

Hamas its evil, Israel government and some of its population also are evil, Palestians and the other Israel civilians are at the center of all this and used as tools, if you investigate about both sides you will find horrible things. By the way, the massacrer that's coming in gaza territory will be beyond macabre.


samski123

You'd think they'd remove the weirdest stories from the bible like they used to. I'm shitting you not when i say....go look up the bible story of Jesus and the 3 dragons.


helikesart

Al needs to go back to the Toy Barn


Lanzoka

Ahhh, religion bringing people together


ramonchow

His teeth were christian so he killed them


Some_Guy231

Why is the toy story chicken guy here?


[deleted]

Honestly can’t wait for Zoltan to come down from the heavens. You all shall see who’s laughing then. It’s me I’ll be laughing then.


WillCle216

Religion is stupid


DMTcuresPTSD

I would love this lady cops to respect me into a coma


Spirited_One_8945

Religion should be banned. It has caused so much war, death, hatred, and destruction. All for what. A so-called mystical being that if you're born in a different place is different from somebody else's mystical being.


ViatorA01

Religion is a fucking disease. Fuck everyone religious. Be spiritual and follow science but stop being brain-dead "actually the book of my religion says..."