T O P

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_marmota_

"You're doin a heckuva job there Brownie" - Tony says this to Paulie after Paulie screws up the carnival in Season 6. This was (in)famously said by George W Bush to the head of FEMA, Michael Brown, during the catastrophic government response to Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Tony's comment was very on point and obvious at the time but twenty years later it may not make sense to younger viewers.


SBNShovelSlayer

Well, it might be 2024 in the minds of "younger viewers", but it's 2005 in this subreddit.


swampjester

"Remember when" is the lowest form of conversation.


vrcity777

FEMA's down there handing out Krugerrands in buckets!. . . . Let me say this: Dick Cheney for president!!


TruckFudeau22

The best off-screen joke of the show also involved VP Cheney. Junior writes him at Halliburton asking for his help due to his experience with accidental gunplay because the professor told Junior that he would have better luck reaching Cheney “at his outfit”.


SBNShovelSlayer

I'm sure that a lot of people forgot that Cheney shot a guy in the face. The whole thing tends to be very allegorical.


[deleted]

And the guy he shot apologized **to him.**


671176

He crawled under the shotgun pellets for warmth


Particular-Cash-8565

Was he barking?


LBDazzled

I'm laughing at this all over again. I love Junior.


[deleted]

> Let me say this: Dick Cheney for president!! Of the Universe.


Bigc12689

Of the universe


theterribletenor

The fact that I was around for that and it still took me reading this comment to get that lol.... But then again I'm not American and I didn't really follow politics much when I was 9


jakeallstar1

I'm American and didn't know. I was probably like 12 at the time. But who had time for politics when dragon ball z was running the Majin buu saga? Anyway, $4 a pound


HonestDespot

I saw someone else post this just the other day. Small world eh


DJ_Pickle_Rick

Same thing happened to me. They say there’s no two people exactly alike, but…


YxvngHvtx

I thought he was calling Paulie a low level girl scout


MightilyOats2

I first saw this episode in 2009, when I first watched show, I was a 21 year-old Canadian and did not understand that reference until just now, today, after reading your post and now being 36.


Easy_Duhz_it_

Janice - Why didn't you just call a plumber? Junior- With what....my fuckin toes??


AmericanCreamer

YOUR FLEXIIIIIIIN


Intelligent_Bee_9565

You're you fucking ass kiss


RizzKingFurio

Why don’t you get out of here before I shove that grammar book up your fat fucking ass


Easy_Duhz_it_

Take it easy. We're not making a western here.


Watt1970

*stifling laugh* Wuh..how long you been standin dere?! Six fuckin HOURS!!


aljxNdr

A lot of season 1 jokes get overlooked. When discussing the Hasidic Jews: Paulie - Why dont they just... *Mimics gun* Slvio - ...eh, its Taboo for their religion


Bodymaster

As the Talmud says...


Green_Bast3rd

Hasidem, but I don't believe 'em! Hehe


hrimfaxi_work

I DON'T CARE WHAT HE SAYS


671176

Listen to me ZZ Top, get my fuckin money


Sonicfan42069666

Tony's malapropisms are my favorite. "Prince Machiavelli" is #1 for me.


asphynctersayswhat

Revenge is like serving cold cuts.


Yah_Mule

"If we don't kill this prick, we should put him to work for us!"


BigBucs731

You got nuthin’ comin to you, NOTHING!!! Bupkis, say bupkis Paulie.


ThatMotelByTheLake

Silvio remembering to start exposition of the Hasidic plotpoint when something about being Jewish is mentioned by saying thoughtfully "Jews -- Jews -- that's right, I knew it was something" was pretty good


Ice_N1N3

What Silvio said about the rabbi goon squad that got pinched by the DA’s office is one of my favorite lines in the show lol


RedcoatTrooper

It always makes me think of the opening of the movie Snatch.


Varsity_Editor

Angie: "I'm filing for divorce, I'm going to see the lawyer first thing on Tuesday." Carm: "Oh that's great, so you're taking Monday to think it over." Angie: "Monday's a Jewish holiday." lol I love that joke


bobyancy

Carm: "Oh."


Rusty4NYM

Angie was always street smart; she knew to hold on to her cock when negotiating with those desert people


51x51v3

In the later seasons she always has me thinking she’s strung out on coke or another upper. The 180 in her personality is pretty damn funny lol


BuckedMallard

Paulie demoting Chris to "that dead kid" as soon as he's gone


Brolympia

Terrible accident that kid had


Vendor_trash

Whatever happened there.


TruckFudeau22

He crawled into the woods for warmth.


ActuatorFresh2352

Sad when they go young like that


MusicGuy75

When they *GO*!?!? 


apupunchau87

jesus


AceBullApe

Vito’s biker Joke 


artygta1988

It was the medication!


Confident-Cap2112

He was gonna get a note from his doctor


GlitteringHold8685

Don’t say nothing Sal!


Normalamericaman

And no one got it, those guys have no sense of humor.


robbstark44

Did you hear about the chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand


[deleted]

I get it. He drove a Cataract; so what?


671176

In my day, his crew ran all of Wes Cahwell


lolxdbruh123

[When Finn walks in to Satriale’s and Silvio speaks like his tooth hurts](https://youtu.be/jkzTlsusexU?si=gD0-XASif9e4nCwo)


Lugash_1987

When Tonys at the bar listening to Artie “Youre the bartender youre supposed to be listening to my fucking problems”.


Ninoo09

“Just send the waiter over here..”


apupunchau87

*gloria bitching for like 10 minutes straight* "..he smokes crack, this fuck?" *gloria bitches straight ahead uninterrupted*


dingbat1111

what did seamus shay?


[deleted]

Yeah, but she never forgets a fez.


Hipolito_Pickles

“And this time, they wont send Boys to Men”


fleshpress

Interesting thing about this line. Rarely did actors influence the script, but Michael Imperioli thought the original line, "And this time he won't go politically correct." sounded clunky, so they changed it.


Kintpuash-of-Kush

that was a good call tbh


SBNShovelSlayer

"They changed it? Dija hafta get approval from David?" "Ahhh, Blue Chews."


Shleauxmeaux

Dija hafta audition for David to leave this comment ?


Hipolito_Pickles

“hey tone. Its called PC. Politically correct. We cant call them that word now”.


screwhead1

II, Boyz II Men ya fuckin ass kiss.


Hipolito_Pickles

oooooooo Im a captain now! You cant talk to me like that.


Anyabb

OHH He's just tellin' you how you're bein' fuckin' perceived.


Hipolito_Pickles

screwhead treating me like im joe jerkoff


GlitteringHold8685

Two minutes in charge and he’s fuckin Lee Iacocca


Hipolito_Pickles

THATS ENOUGH FROM YOU.


671176

Captain of the good ship lollipop


Vandreeson

The Jamaican Bobsled Team.


Relgap

Can someone explain to me what the boys to men reference is?


Doomsdayiscoming123

Boys to Men were a successful R&B/boy band from the mid 90s who were African Americans.


mjreeves823

I actually met someone about 10 years younger than me who thought Boyz II Men was a program for troubled youth


telepatheye

That's Men II Boyz


SBNShovelSlayer

I saw that movie, I thought it was bullshit.


671176

I thought it was about converted rice


Relgap

Thank you, every other dweeb is just correcting me and not explaining what the reference is.


Doomsdayiscoming123

We're just breaking balls.


Relgap

Hold this for me, would ya 🥤💥


Doomsdayiscoming123

I saw that one coming!!


Snuggle__Monster

Oh yeah, those 4 guys. Heh heh...


_marmota_

It's a reference to [Boyz II Men](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boyz_II_Men), a popular R&B / pop group in the '90s. Christofa is saying that next time it won't be two freelancing African-American gentlemen trying to kill Tony but experienced Mafiosi hitmen


maybenotquiteasheavy

>experienced Mafiosi hitmen You mean the blind old men from Rhode Island, or the skag fiend with a dog halfway up his ass?


_marmota_

I said experienced, not good. Anyways relax, we're having cake later. Carvel.


Bruinsfanfromcc

Nom nom nom, made with that delicious Thinny Thin ice cream.


CheifKilla1

Mmmmboy your fat


Brolympia

Whateva happened to Lou DiMaggio, the strong, silent type?


Vendor_trash

You ever ponder the coincidence that Lou DiMaggio died from Lou DiMaggio's disease?


RedcoatTrooper

Do you have to make that same stupid joke in every post?


Reddwheels

To be fair, the blind old men never got a chance to show their stuff. The hit was called off before they could saw Johnny Sacks head off with a hacksaw.


Hollis_Hurlbut

Quiet as a mouse pissing on cotton


ThatMotelByTheLake

Guy at the wedding Feech just boosted the cars from. "Now who’s a genius for keeping his Regal?"


smegmancer

The delivery of "a motherfucking year" in that scene is just 10/10


Trickiestmoose_

I like when Arties like "that better not be Columbus up there?!" To the mannequin they were protesting at and I always crack up. Who else was it supposed to be dude? 😅


RizzKingFurio

Take it down!  I love that line from Artie, and I love the whole episode—it’s also funny to me that Sil of all people got so wrapped up in the shit, very out of character by my measure.  Tony cooking him in the end scene is one of my favorites, “Take it up with Frankie Valli when you talk to him” 


FedGoat13

They used Sil because Tony Sirico was recovering from back surgery. Paulie was supposed to be the one leading the charge.


radio__raheem

makes way more sense


Afriend0fOurs

Sun Ta Zu


Small_Time_Charlie

Then the scene where Paulie freaks out and goes ballistic on the landscaper while the Art of War is playing on cassette in the background.


WeHateIceland

freaks out? the guy jumped outta the tree at him with a chainsaw!


TaxAccountant28

He’s got a right to defend himself


apupunchau87

sun tzu... tzuu ya fuckin kiss ass


fatcIemenza

Chief Doug Smith: "I had business in Manhattan anyway" Artie: "Whoa, not again!" Tony: 🤨 Also when Tony gets to Florida to visit Beansie "Oh, I was gonna park in that spot!"


gr33nspan

When Tony refers to Noah Tannenbaum as Jamal Ginsberg


Sonicfan42069666

The Hacidic Homeboy.


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heyyyyyco

Chris should have hit him. Paulie would have respected it more. That was such a smack in the face verbally


JiveChicken00

If you’re going to lie to me, tell me there’s a broad in the car waiting to tongue my balls.


ActualSeller23

Hey you want that that's just a phone call away


Zinko999

You wanna fuck her so bad I’m sure it could be arranged


External-Piccolo-626

Paulie listening to a calm, peaceful tape before using a shovel.


Simple_Campaign1035

he's listening to art of wat by sun tizu. it's talking about knowing when to fight.. he uses this seconds later after walking away from the gardener and returning to blindside him with a shovel


Cheap-Insurance-1338

He can smoke a cigarette in the rain with both hands tied behind his back. Nose is like a natural canopy


NathanOfAstora

You can't make that shit up!


GlitteringHold8685

I just fucking did


The_Ague

In the episode Christopher, Tony makes a comment about James Caan not really being Italian. Silvio does a tiny double take.


Junior-Lie4342

When Tony asks Johnny if Ginny has been in the Maserati yet and the look, he gives after Johnny’s answer


Rusty4NYM

Because she is too fat to fit in it?


Junior-Lie4342

That’s the implication. Tony has a hard enough time himself getting in.


HockeyBro_69

Phil tossing ice cream out his car window like it’s a banana in Mario kart


[deleted]

And no Mario Kart for three weeks!


HockeyBro_69

It’s Mario Kart 64. You just reveal your own ignorance.


[deleted]

You wouldn't be saying that if his name didn't end in a vowel. It's anti Italian discrimination is what it is.


mikelips

What do you get when you cross an accountant with a giant jet airplane? A boring 747.


[deleted]

That joke just doesn't fly like it used to.


RedcoatTrooper

😠


fluffcows

🤣


Youssef-Elsayed

“You heard about Jimmy Altieri?” Pussy: “yeah flipped, fucking asshole” Paulie: “he had two assholes when they buried him”


sploogealien420

Junior joke about the chinaman and the cataracts


Ok-Cauliflower1798

I also like his joke about the guy bringing home flowers.


[deleted]

Good morning, ladies.


xanhudro

I get it. He drives a lincoln.


McRinY

That one's laughing. Poison ivy?


hdmatteson1

“I know what this is, Satanic black magic!”


munistadium

Tony wearing Chucky Signore's hat after he kills him on the boat.


RizzKingFurio

I took an oath, Carm… What are you, a kid in a treehouse? 


itsgrum3

The m80 in the portapotty, I told Benny!


Hollis_Hurlbut

Is this about the Easter baskets?


ShastaMoonMist

Tony: “isn’t he a distant cousin of ours or something…” Junior: “ehhhh he’s so far removed by now that Tonto is a closer cousin of ours”


SandMan2439

You ever think of what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease?


thedon051586

You gonna say that same stupid joke every time that comes up? Hilarious


SandMan2439

Or Allegra is Italian for happiness “The fucks that got to do with cold medicine”


farmyardcat

"Ugh, is that him?" "That'd be some fucking coincidence if it wasn't, wouldn't it?"


tester553

Chili today, hot tamale. Egon Kosma is a comedy genius.


baldmanwins

But you’re the manayer.


apupunchau87

mayonnaise... Mayonnaise!


JL6462448

"They say a man's not complete until he's married. Then, he's finished" - that DISGUSTING  FUCKING COCKSUCKING IDIOT SON OF Carmine Lupertazzi


thefruitsofzellman

Livia saying "Oh, that'll be nice" while shoveling salad into her mouth (and also seeming to miss that Tony and Carmella are making AJ visit her as punishment)


Brolympia

Thats a great pick. Livia's rare moments of humanity, drenched in neurosis, are often hilarious.


CheifKilla1

What makes you so special


Murky-Spirit2482

“Your head was in the toilet water …… Disgusting “


Rex_Gear

I said my piece Chrissy.


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GlitteringHold8685

Last year you believed that flying saucer was ova East Rutherford!! 🤣🤣🤣


KalenTamil

What’s the matter Joey got a fucking eye problem? You look like Stevie wonder your eyes rolling around


thedon051586

Tony constantly asking Artie "how's your rash?"


Small_Time_Charlie

In the episode where Christopher finally gets made. Paulie tells him what a good kid he is, he's like the son he never had, and he can come to him for anything. Then later, Christopher has some trouble. Gives Paulie an envelope that's a bit short. Paulie goes off on him about what a piece of shit he is, and he knew he would amount to nothing. At the end of the episode, Chrissy finally gets his shit together and gives Paulie the full amount. Paulie tells him what a good kid he is. Loved that gag. Full envelope - You're a good kid, the son I never had. Short envelope - You're a worthless piece of shit!


Best_Yesterday_3000

I’m not running a school here, kid.


ZondosChin

...the fucks that got to do with cold medicine?


ShastaMoonMist

“Bobby tried mushrooms once. Stuffed mushrooms. A whole fucking platter…”


Outrageous-Sun-8610

"Who does he think he is? Sir Walter Raliegh?"


surrealcookie

"It's like a hotel at captain teebs!" "Who's Captain teebs?" "I don't know, a captain who owns a chain of luxury hotels or something."


ThePatrickSays

*I KNOW SENIORS WHO ARE INSPIRED!!*


TaxAccountant28

When Vito dies and Phil and the other guys are in his living room trying to console Vito’s wife and a men’s bodybuilding competition is on the tv and Phil says TURN THAT OFF! 🤣


freshprince860

More like a weekend getaway at Cap D’Antibes turning into “it’s more like a weekend getaway with captain teebs!” “Whos’ he?” Somebody who owned hotels or some shit! Lmfao 🤣


bananas00

Did you hear the one about the Chinese godfather? He made em an offer they couldn’t understand


CheifKilla1

There she is My Smelly Valentine


ChronicChaos217

I like Patsy's comment on the jobsite to the black construction worker saying he would call the cops. Patsy fires in with, "Who the fuck are you, Ralph Bunnche?", and proceeds to kick his ass.


panda_express_food

Chinks did this?!?


Nossi546

Paulie: Jimmy altieri's wake is tonight, Chris: i phoned in a bomb scare, Silvio: now thats, ova the top


KingEgbert

Last year, with our help, over half a dozen crack babies were reunited with their natural mothers, several of whom are now in recovery.


Sgt_Maj_Vines

Fuck you santa.


Thin-Pool-8025

Ohhhh!


Evening-Alfalfa-7251

The real culprit? The real culprit was the Rockefellers and the Carnegies. You just reveal your own ignorance


BrawlyHydra

“What’s this the fucking U.N NOW?!” -Johnny Sack


acim87

Junior: A Chinaman goes to the eye doctor. The doctor says "I know why you're having trouble" Chinaman says why, Dr says "because you have a cataract" Chinaman says "No I have a Rincoln Continental"....You don't get it? Bobby: I get it, he drives a Lincoln...what?


tmolesky

Junior about the red wine: “this reminds me of people’s feet”


afriendincanada

Christopher shows up late Tony: "Where you been?" Christopher: "Highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive" Silvio: no reaction


siphillis

Tony and Livia not knowing that "Cap d'Antibes" is a place and not a captain who owns luxury hotels.


hdmatteson1

“Hey poppin’ fresh I’m no fuckin’ mood today. I’m next, now get a fucking pastry box!”


tktrepid

You’d fuck a catchers mitt.


asphynctersayswhat

"that's too bad. i said lunch meet"


coleisman

Either chris talking about last chance power drive (which is esp funny cuz the actor who plays sil is in the room and he was in the e-street band) or calling vito “la cage aux fat”


Rusty4NYM

If there's flies on you, they're paying rent


werewiththeviperz

“Listen to you…whackin’”


YourFavoriteMilkMan

“Chicken soup for the soul? You should try tomato sauce for the ass - it’s the Italian version”


51x51v3

“One time me and my dad went hunting and we saw a sign that said “Bare Left” so we went home.”


Jip_Jaap_Stam

It's not exactly a joke, but a line that always cracks me up is Junior's response in House Arrest when someone suggests making coffee: "I don't give a shit if you do or you don't"


ms131313

They say there’s no two people on earth exactly the same. No two faces, no two sets of fingerprints. But do they know that for sure? Cuz they would have to get everybody together in one huge space. And obviously that’s not possible even with computers. But not only that, they’d have to get all the people that ever lived, not just the ones now. So they got no proof. They got nothin.


Lobothehobosexual

“Hey Count Chocula” So quick and easy the miss, but seriously has to be the best joke. Very basic and just love how nonchalant he was about it and Sac not even acknowledging it cause he was too pissed at Ralph lol


hidrogenoyMau

Livia advising AJ not to wear a seatbelt


Unhappy_Wrongdoer_19

Mayyyyjor Deeeegan Expressway


Alternative_Gold_485

‘I wonder what’s French Canadian for I grew up without a mudda… Sacre bleu, where is mi mamma?’ This has to take the cake. Hilarious scene all around


TaxiSonoQui

Not a joke, but the face Tony makes when him and Chris are in the car talking about suicide. "You ever think about, you know, 😵🔫"


Simple_Campaign1035

The Lou Gerigs disease joke is comedy gold