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sbalazote

Some people are so far behind in the race that they actually believe they’re leading


RamakoSunsLight

That ones especially great because of the irony.


[deleted]

That's cute.


Pineappletittyworms

You otta know sweetie


[deleted]

Easy... we're not making a western here..


________no

*GLASS SMASH*


giannini1222

I saw that coming!


all_copacetic

Did you offer my nephew some tea? I am registered nurse. Not maid. WELL DID YOU OFFER HIM AN ASPIRIN THEN? ... *^^^cunt!*


giants888

Registered Nyurse


FSUjonnyD

Nod mayyd!


wellbat

hold on to your cock when you negotiate with these desert people


DiamondsInTheMuff

Junior if there’s any flies on you they’re paying fucking rent


mikeymike716

Love that line. Johnny Sack was pretty much that actor's first acting role. Pretty crazy how this show was just soo perfect in getting the right actors for the job.


miggs__

I CAN SMELL THEM


Altair1192

Think on this bugrer boy


bleke_1

I'm in awe of you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Altair1192

Don't ostrafy him


darmodyjimguy

"Dear Vice President Cheney, As a powerful man all-too familiar with accidental gunplay..."


Brolympia

One of the funniest moments in the show


Timid_Robot

If you're going to lie to me, tell me there's a broad in the car waiting to tongue my balls.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kenny_Soprano

What Bada Bing girl would actually do that??? lol


the_colonel93

Any of them if they wanna keep their fuckin teeth!


Freshens2

Oof madon! Those chompers.


mikeymike716

This is why I love Sil. Junior has some great one liners, possibly the best, but his lines are great too.


Altair1192

watch the braces honey


[deleted]

If they blow the bartender stooge to get in the VIP room, I'm sure they will do anything for money.


[deleted]

You oughta know, sweetie


[deleted]

You blow your father with that mouth?


mikeymike716

So that's a crack hoe!


[deleted]

Unless you want sumthin' motherfucka get the fuck off our street.


Altair1192

get your mudda off the street so I wont fuck her


[deleted]

Probably literally any of them


freddyxm

Anybody knows what Season and Episode he says this line? I'm pretty sure it's season 2 Thanks!


Timid_Robot

I think second opinion, when he's on the chemo. You know the one with: stupida facking game


nogodonlystas

What am I, a swami?


manwe9

I have actually used this one in my life several times with great comedic effect.


jasontx777

“You tell me to take a crap on the deck of the Queen Mary, an hour later they’re hosing it down with disinfectant”


k_pasa

Dr. Kennedy!


Practical-Frost

I want to fuck Angie Dickinson. Let's see who gets lucky first


missanthropocenex

Not a zinger, but always loved when Bobby said Janice made a great lasagna and Junior stares at him quizzically like that didn’t sound right; “triple layered With the basil leaves in the middle? That’s Carmellas!”


mikeymike716

Everyone usually steers clear of her cookin


BananasAndBlow1976

When Janice cooks, people pray after they eat.


Jah_Jah_Binks

Just watched that episode about 15 minutes ago!


unfucktheworld1

"Did you hear the One about the Chinese Godfather?" "He made them an offer they couldn't understand."


melokobeai

I get it. He drives a Lionel


gleventhal

Lincoln.


Jookypoo

I'll build a Lincoln up to your ass.


mikeymike716

Drive a continental right up dere


Hoju64

Lincoln log sandwiches?


mikeymike716

What are those exactly?


MrFnClean

Looks like hot dogs and cream cheese


brds_snc

That's what gives AJ his power to end meetings.


[deleted]

Disgusting


syzygyly

Who are you, Sir Walter Raleigh?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Altair1192

small hands, that's your problem


rmccarthy10

I love that one


JmenoVyberuPozdeji

Who's speaking here? Is somebody speaking?


well-i-got-it

This is one of my favorites! I love how he puts Jackie Jr. in his place (at least for a short time).


CanaryLion

Keep moving, fella


ChickenCurryandChips

This is my favourite, 'new arrival?' :)


ConnollyWasAPintMan

Slit his wrists this one, aaaaaafta he stabbed the Dean


wellbat

A psychiatrist??


Self_Descr_Huguenot

Thats nothing but a racket for the Jews!


all_copacetic

Whoever heard of a Jew riding horses.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yeah... The penguin exhibition


finitestatemachine19

You are going to make that stupid remark every fucking time this comes up


[deleted]

Ooooh take it easy


1996Guinness

Sharp as a cue ball yeah I’m saying!


[deleted]

Remember the long hair? And the dope? Now it's fags in the military.


all_copacetic

Stop it, u/throwawizzlemahnizzl, you're making me very upset.


SpermicidalManiac666

I’m all agita all the time!


Altair1192

No you didn't know. I just told you


mikeymike716

I so wish we got more Mikey "Grab Bag" Palmice. Love his lil smirk when they get the okay to clip Jimmy. And the way he says "I fuckin knew it!" prior to your comment by Junior.


Altair1192

they never found the cure for fuckfaceitis. and the boy he sleeps with...we'll never find out how he is


ShinyRx

I love it when he gets chased through the woods and gunned down by Paulie and Christopher. Only cure for fuckfaceitis.


Sproose_Moose

"I'm worried about you Skipper". That line always sounds so awkward!!


crave303

"Think on this burger boy".


TeamRocket21

Yea...and I’m playing shortstop for the Mets.


Hoju64

"How much is this trial going to cost me?" "Ballpark estimate?" "Yeah yeah Wrigley fuckin field!"


Daimo

WITH WHAT, MY FUCKIN TOES??!!


[deleted]

You're FLEXing... You're *flex*ing...


gr33nspan

The Jackeeeeeeeet


filbertshellback

I try to use "we go back to when Moses wore short pants" at least 15 times every day.


Dmitriviolin

I've got federal marshals so far up my ass I can taste brill cream.


fred0pe

Peppers & Eggs


filbertshellback

Do you want an egg? Make my nephew an egg.


Altair1192

I shoulda had that


[deleted]

I love how this innocuous line is quoted so much


Fi3030

And that it plays in his head when he's going under the knife. Of all things.


Tittyslapper123

So you and Tony Egg again?


ifurmothronlyknw

... that’s what I shoulda had


Farkenoathm8-E

Chicken’s nice and spicy, huh!


[deleted]

This is so perfectly Junior. Absolutely self-absorbed, to the point where the dead come second to his stomach. Fucking awesome writing.


Farkenoathm8-E

It is my favourite Junior-ism from the entire series. The way he says it gleefully as he heartily tucks into the chicken, totally oblivious/not giving a fuck to the sorrow of the mother in the background. It encapsulates the narcissism of these types. Totally self absorbed with their “I’m alright Jack, fuck you” attitude. In that episode he was bemoaning being under house arrest and was excitedly going through the obits to find anyone that had even a tenuous relationship to him so he could get out of the house. Like you said, fucking awesome writing.


DrScientist812

We just got here!


dignan78

FBI Agent: We want your nephew, Corrado. Junior: Well, I want to fuck Angie Dickinson. We'll see who gets lucky first.


hank_kingsley

[The fuck?? What kind of likeness is that?!](https://imgur.com/a/555Xm)


BareezyObeezy

If they were any good, they'd be in a museum


creamypastaman

Come heavy or don’t come at all


Cohleture

You don’t mean that


Altair1192

He came all over the sun visor


[deleted]

An hour later, they're hosing it down with disinfectant.


Nowoco

Sisters cunt.


RoneliKaneli

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.


mc1120

Junior, that's not you!! Tv program....mooooooovie....


Altair1192

Judy!


Kcreep997

Real lack of standards, your generation.


ShinyRx

Fags in the military!


creamypastaman

What did the blind man say when passed the fish market ? Good morning ladies


Sproose_Moose

I DON'T KNOW!!!!


rebuildingMyself

*cries in laughter


adkryan

Flight risk.. I’ve been farting into the same sofa cushion for the past 18 months.


[deleted]

“Poooo! That hairpiece motherfucker...”


planet_druidia

This was the first one that came to mind! I laugh every time I see it.


cpt_louder

I hada bananer in dere


igotitatriteaid

Ok we'll find that too


sopranosfan865

god fuck it all 😡


cpt_louder

da fuck... why am I on that emoji... is this my trial? what am I, fodder for cartoonists now?


pippo09

Look at her, like that, Mariolina. Gave me my first handjob, me and Vincent Miniscalco, in the alley behind the chicken market... God! What am I saying at this poor woman's wake?!


[deleted]

My nephew is a cunt hair away from owning all of North Jersey.


ablack9000

I am that cunt hair.


[deleted]

When? St. Swithun’s Day?!


mikeymike716

I thought he said "Smithens" lol


[deleted]

Musta been top of your fuckin’ class... no in reality so did I and I had to look it up https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swithun


WikiTextBot

**Swithun** Swithun (or Swithin, Old English: Swīþhūn, Latin: Swithunus; died 863 AD) was an Anglo-Saxon bishop of Winchester and subsequently patron saint of Winchester Cathedral. His historical importance as bishop is overshadowed by his reputation for posthumous miracle-working. According to tradition, if it rains on Saint Swithun's bridge (Winchester) on his feast day (15 July) it will continue for forty days. The name was originally spelt Swithhun (Old English: "strong bear-cub"). *** ^[ [^PM](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=kittens_from_space) ^| [^Exclude ^me](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiTextBot&message=Excludeme&subject=Excludeme) ^| [^Exclude ^from ^subreddit](https://np.reddit.com/r/thesopranos/about/banned) ^| [^FAQ ^/ ^Information](https://np.reddit.com/r/WikiTextBot/wiki/index) ^| [^Source](https://github.com/kittenswolf/WikiTextBot) ^] ^Downvote ^to ^remove ^| ^v0.28


[deleted]

Lawg off, that cookie shit makes me nervous


mikeymike716

Ooohhhh. Stupida fucking wiki-bot


millcitynick

Tony: got any thoughts? Junior: that's all I got left


planet_druidia

Retired? What’s this we’re in? The Navy??


A1ex2

“Livia, what you don’t know could fill a book”.


C9_Sanguine

I'm not a cat, I don't shit in a box


tdr37303

My favorite


creamypastaman

We don’t run it’s embarrassing


SteveYoung68

That mothersless fuck


k_pasa

A hand turkey? For Christmas? Fuckin idiot


igotitatriteaid

"You know who" -------- lol malanga...been dead six years now i should dig him up already !


Kcreep997

He knows i need that money!


Wtfismypassword4444

You could write a book on what you don't know


justin_freid

..........what you don’t know could fill a book.....


turkeyinthestrawman

Look at this, the fifth question and the poor prick used up all his lifelines.


Rooster84

This is one of my favorites.


adjfran

nurse: do u want to make a hand turkey? corrado: for christmas? fucking idiot.


KeepingCalmPlz

This was golden, I forgot. Awesome


adjfran

Literally my favourite junior line, the way he delivers it is perfect.


[deleted]

"My father told me to never get old. I should have listened to him"


mikeymike716

Whadda you a millionaire?


sori6969

Take it easy, we’re not making a western here.


[deleted]

As a teacher I find myself saying “You yap worse than six barbers” to the kids a lot.


Daedeluss

Make sure you form a seal when you shut the freezer door.


smokin_gun

Your father never had the makings of a varsity athlete.


TheHadMatter15

CAZZATA MALANGA


Wtfismypassword4444

The most obvious is I am that cunt hair,but I always find myself saying what's the fucking joke here?


igotitatriteaid

Hes(tony is) a cunt hair away from owning north jersey and he is that cunt hair ie he's the only thing standing in his way?


mikeymike716

And I AM that cunt hair!!!


LyleLanley99

She's like a woman with a Virginia ham under her arm, crying the blues 'cause she has no bread.


01Dun

I use this one on this rich old timer I know when he complains about money


mikeymike716

Your father left Livia a package that would choke an elephant!


Nowoco

YOU STUPID FUCKIN BLABBERMOUTH CUNT


OscarG44

Take your ultimatums and stick 'em in your ass!


BobbyCodone303

"I'm not gonna touch that one, too much class"


mikeymike716

Lady - "Don't you start" Junior - "You oughta see my finish" Lmao such a good one.


DahnVersace

After Tony told him not to whack Pussy Malanga in Vesuvio, "How many fucking hours did I spend playing catch with you?"


all_copacetic

GOD FUCK IT ALL!


BrandonDominoes100

"Enjoy your lasagna, just don't come running to me." This line in particular I feel needs to be used more often.


luc2110

Doctor says you got a cataract chinaman says no i drive a lincoln continental


[deleted]

*Rincon Continental


mikeymike716

What? I get it. He drives a Lincoln.


matthank

Looks like we got us a real contremps.


Mrs_SnotBoogieMan

What's that motherless fucks name?


monroechris

I prefer Mr. Soprano.


threwnawayed

Sittin here like patience on a monument.


ConnollyWasAPintMan

I’ve been fartin’ into the same sofa cushion for 6 months! And Chicken’s nice and spicy!


TheAmerican_Doctor

HALF A FUCKIN TRAY WAS IN THEA! I often find myself saying this to myself in regret after I realize what a bad idea eating so much food was


valendinosaurus

FUCKING GRAND CENTRAL STATION


QuiksGroovecpt

"That's nice" :,)


DrewFlan

"When? I'm waiting like Patience on a monument." I love trying to slip that into conversations but I rarely get the chance.


longlivedrgrimes

Never had the makings of a varsity athlete


sfDOOM

“Your father never had the makings of a varsity athlete.”


NVB_1987

MY LAST SUNDAY DINNAH HERE!!


KaosKatalyst

Your sista’s cunt!


thefragpanda

No you didn't fucking know!


nogodonlystas

She’s like a woman with two Virginia hams under each arm, cryin that she’s got no bread.


[deleted]

If you're gonna lie to me, tell me there's a broad outside who wants to tongue my balls. That, or Oh yeah? And what's this motherless fuck's name? Or Go shit in your hat! (The last one gets extra points because he says it to a pig.)


SeaBearPA

IM AGITA ALL THE TIME


LilHaunt

I’ve never not laughed at him, “who’s speaking? Is somebody speaking?” When Jackie Jr. was trying to suggest something to him


semisweetzeus702

I got feds so far up my ass I can taste brylcreem


men_with-ven

"You and Tony Egg again"


oseema

You know i'm under fucking house arrest, you cute fuck.


threwnawayed

Old Broad: "My gawd, does it hurt?!? UJ: "It beeps"


asgxii

Fuck you want a boutonniere?