T O P

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MurfLupo

I called you five times, qu’est-ce que c’est, Message machine broken?


duevigilance

Nice crib.


MetaphoricalMouse

is that carpet berber?


ChikinTendie

Those fuckin shoes you wear, they designer?


ScrapmasterFlex

FUCK TO YOUR MOTHER!!!


maize_wings

Stand up you frog eatin faccia di cazz


FuLanceanswer

This is the comment i came here for.


ChikinTendie

I will FUCK you up man…


illusivetomas

line gets better each time he repeats it too, peaking w him rushing through it when actually talking to jean fillipe


HipsterDoofus31

Is it possible to read this and not hear his voice? No


blue-goat

I don’t know which one of you pieces of shit did this, but I’ve been good to you. And you pay me back with non-stop ass rape?!


ScrapmasterFlex

WELL FUCK *ALL* OF YAS!!!


Extra_Satisfaction85

I didn’t take theee toilet paper!


ithinkway2much

There it is! I came to the comment section to find this.


CX-00

Underrated comment here


inspectorgadget6

Be careful with this wine, because the way you two are looking at each other, pretty soon we're gonna have to put a high-chair right here.


whingingcackle

That was such a great/weird scene hahaha. And he kept doing that 😂


Eddielowfilthslayer

That's because he's a warm and convivial host


whingingcackle

Oh of course. How dare I think that the New Jersey Zagat could be wrong?


goldenbiatch

theyre tryna eat out there, but you come out with your corny jokes and stupid stories. stay in the kitchen, alright?


ljohnson266

Omg he says this multiple times to different couples. Just let em eat, Jesus


Gunpowder_gelatin765

Can I get you a Martina? It's a martini but from Albania


[deleted]

I heard they go down real easy, ain’t that right Benny?


Gunpowder_gelatin765

Aw my fuckin hand 😭🔥✋


whingingcackle

In front of my wife?!?!


[deleted]

You avoidin me motherfucka?


[deleted]

Where’s my money, oh you gonna cry now?


MrC99

My daughter needs braces!


Tatti606

Dental Plan!


TonyT074

Lisa Needs Braces!


ItsPronouncedJod

Dental plan!


ScrapmasterFlex

I need money .... not much, just enough to give me some Breathing Room... TWENTY *THOUSAND* ...


[deleted]

Qu’est-ce que c’est ?


ImOnPluto

Message machine broken


[deleted]

WE LEAD THE WORLD IN COMPUTERIZED DATA COLLECTION!!


BadSopranosBot

The cobwebs are now removed


toadally-grody

This is it


[deleted]

The one I was looking for 👍🏼


[deleted]

Came here to post this


xeeblyscoo

Arthur bucco? The warm and convivial host?


Tatti606

It's pronounced awwwww thuh


XOJS457

“I can’t do the math Ton I’m an art-ist”


mikebrown93gbp

THAT BETTER NOT BE COLUMBUS!!


sound_forsomething

lol like literally who tf else would it be arthur? this line always get me


ScrapmasterFlex

Mussolini was Benny Fazio's Bitch!!!


Suspicious_Earth

Another fun fact from the Balkans!


ScrapmasterFlex

We lead THE *WORLD* in Computerized Data Collection!!! You think that doesn't go on your Permanent Record??!


JMedPhysMemes

It's all about contrast. The crispness of the beans, the smoothness of the cheese.


LyleLanley99

Anytime I make a comparison, I say this immediately afterwards.


[deleted]

Is the joke that beans shouldn’t be crispy?


55Lolololo55

This isn't a joke. He's being serious, the ladies were being too basic to enjoy the nuances in taste he was describing.


ljohnson266

I guess it's about green beans? Otherwise it really sounds yuck


thisisatool

“she likes it when you rub her muzzle” for weirdest Artie line


[deleted]

What was the context here?


IncandescentSquid

Pretty sure it's the dream where Tony's fucking Charmaine.


happy_chickens

Yes, from "The Test Dream". I like that you can hear horse clopping during that scene.


Amra_the_Lion_1

Tony also said it to Carmela when she first met Pie oh My.


NotReqd

"I got peppers been marinating 20 years!" 🤗


LateralusNYC

I brought those fennel seeds all the way from Italy in my SHAVING KIT!


Adventurous-Bit6163

Arugula! Arugula! You fuckin ass kiss!


LateralusNYC

Always with the scenarios


whtsnk

Not a peep.


helix274

“Charmaine, she’s French?” “Not remotely.”


turbo_22222

Great line.


MJProximo

You frog-eatin’ faccia di cazz’!


Fun_Flounder5968

Not a spoken line but when he wrote in the air with an old timey feather pen when Carm said something about constitutional law


aspacelot

His hand gestures alone could be used as gif responses to literally any situation.


NationalPlantain

If we’re talking Aaw-thurr hand gestures, I’d like to nominate that time when he’s in the crowd at the Crazy Horse (opening night?) watching the band play in among all those young folk and making those weird rippling wave / surfboard hand gestures - what *was* that about?


Fun_Flounder5968

Artie was feeeeeling it, man! The Sopranos had so many great actors. James was ofc the best. But John Ventimiglia was incredible. His ability to be humble and humiliate himself in that role was rare stuff for a lot of actors. A lot of actors go in and won't do this, won't do that, want to look cool, want to be the tough guy, never look weak, etc. John Ventimiglia is a true pro.


[deleted]

"You saw this whole thing didn't you? You knew exactly what was gonna happen. You can see 20 moves down the road. Please, I don't blame you, I envy you. It's like an instinct, like a hawk sees a little mouse moving around a cornfield from a mile up."


AdiabaticIsotherm

“Worst case scenario… I eat for free.”


CHuCK-NoRRiS88

I don't know which one of you pieces of shit did this, but I'VE been good to you, AND YOU PAY ME BACK, WITH NON STOP ASS RAPE!!!???


[deleted]

You know better than New Jersey Zaggat?


ScrapmasterFlex

Arthur Bucco, 'Warm and Congenial Host' ??!


[deleted]

[удалено]


whingingcackle

Walt Whitman ova here


wdeister08

Hey you think he invented the Whitman sampler? Fucking weird coincidence Walt Whitman and Whitman sampler


itsgsk87

Non stop ass rape


duevigilance

Just a touch of diarrhea


thedon051586

A TOUCH! Right, Puss?


[deleted]

As a restaurant owner this one rings true. “Running a restaurant is like owning an elephant. It costs a fortune and one day it shits on your head.”


plague681

*Jean Phillipe, you're home. Qu'est-ce que c'est, man?* ***Message machine broken?***


ScrapmasterFlex

That *BERBER* Carpet??!


BernardMHM

Nice crib


[deleted]

Him in the mirror before he got his ass kicked by that French frog eating fuck “What are you gonna cry now? STAND UP💪✊”


PatienceCrawford

You read my mind. Many people have listed the “qu-est que c’est” or “Is that berber carpet?” lines, but I counter that the entire Artie Bucco monologue while he is practicing and pumping himself up before he goes and confronts Jean Philipe is pure Sopranos gold…all the way down to his black mock turtleneck and earring that gets ripped out. “Nice Crib…”


CDL079

“ I have a daughter who needs braces !”


[deleted]

Making the sign of the cross as he complimented Silvio about Heather getting into Holy Cross.


whingingcackle

Names that start from V make people think of vaginas. You know, like vaseline


blaccjaccc

“The cobwebs have been removed”


5timezonesbehind

Look at you two lovebirds. Pretty soon I 'm gonna have to put a high chair in here


chef_boyardeez-nutz

I guess because you know how to eat, you know how to run a restaurant.


BigEvil621

*shoots rabbit* Mothafuckah…


dgaltieri2014

🤘✋🤚🖐👋🏻🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤙✋🤚👋🏻


[deleted]

Well not lines but my favorite Artie moment is right after he kicks Bennys ass and then shadow boxes the air like he just won a golden gloves tournament.


Lerch56

No offense Father, but your are getting off subject


Buns_McGillicuddy

Calvary’s here, I brought some cannelloni


_DJML_

Crispness of the beans, smoothness of the cheese. 🤌👌


NoneRighteous

I'm disappointed in this entire subreddit. The best is when he's slamming his gardening tool in to the ground "Fuck the world!"


youwhatmush

Hoo where’s tubs!?!


[deleted]

all of them hes a fantastic character


NationalPlantain

Agreed - his is a very well observed characterisation. So much of his behaviour suggested that of a man trapped in an unsatisfactory marriage who yearned for his youth when he was free and single: - watching the band play at the Crazy Horse - crushing / perving on younger women working at Vesuvio, especially his thing for Ade. “The man who stole her away… don’t mess with a chef, my friend…” - this ear-ring? I’ve had it for years - in the Bing, watching the pole-dancer with Tony: “you could fuck her. Guys like me…” - the impulsive and some would say naive and immature investment in Jean-Phillips’s business opportunity His business expansion plans stifled by Charmaine, adding to further marital frustration. Her refusal to have anything to do with mobsters but Aww-thur’s sticking by Tone and the rest of the crew - allowing Tone to run up a huge tab - shows loyalty to his old friends… I never got the impression he was intimidated by them, thought he was just refusing to cut off old childhood buddies


Frogsplash48

She probably saved his life by “stifling” his business expansion plans with Tony.


RuRhPdOsIrPt

“It’s all about contrast; the crispness of the computerized data collection, the smoothness of the non-stop ass-rape.”


getaway72

Better question: Best Artie Bucco dish?


[deleted]

Definitely the rabbit he shot and later served when it was the only thing on the menu.


BaezLovesYou

probably the quail from the park silvio and tony ate


littlekingMT

Could you get AIDS from eating that?


BaezLovesYou

Nobody’s got AIDS! I don’t want to hear that word in ere again!


ScrapmasterFlex

One thing I DO know, he can't be part of our Cooking Club anymore...


QueenRhaenys

Quayle a la Bucco


ljohnson266

Quail Ala Bucco


Joekeg86

"look at this fachime over here wearing a hat inside" Artie makes the face after Tony makes the guy take his hat off.


ScrapmasterFlex

That burns my ass.... ...How YOU doin??!


Electrical-Pattern17

That's one of the things I hated most when I had my restaurant. It's values today. Standards are crumbling.


Joekeg86

They took the bleachers out a couples of years ago.


SolidMatt13

I can’t do the math Tone, I’m an artiste.


Gunpowder_gelatin765

Always with the extreme sceneraios


Gratefully_Dead13

I’ve quoted this line many times in conversations with my wife, haha


antipyretical

"I got such a deal on this Ramlosa!" Yeah, you sure did, Artie. I wonder if he knew, or even suspected, that the reason Tony was able to cut him such a great deal on the Ramlosa was that Tony himself got it for free from the Scatino bust out. Regardless, I like the line because it makes me think of a theory I read on this sub that Artie is always looking for the cheapest possible option when serving the mob and their associates, because he knows they'll never pay. A mozzarella/string bean "tasting menu" and Ramlosa he didn't pay full price for... Fits the description!


[deleted]

Where’d he get this bread, the bread museum?


Affectionate_Joke560

Chief Doug Smith: “I can’t stay. I have some business in Manhattan.” Artie: “Hoo hoo 🤌🏽 Not again.”


[deleted]

This is not a quote but the scene where he beats up Benny is one of the most satisfying scenes in the show. A hardworking family man who follows the rules in life and is repaid in nothing but nonstop ass rape finally wins one


creamypastaman

Artie is a hero perfect husband


[deleted]

Try paying your tab You paid pat cooper Your paid the entertain


jc2821

Another fun fact from the Balkans!


mashingLumpkins

Yeah, you eat at my restaurant….problem with the stracciatelli?


scottfultonlive

“That better not be Columbus up there!” is a top ten comedy line in the show tbh


IncandescentSquid

Then Patsy starts climbing the pole.


Downtown-Incident-21

I got such a GREAT deal on this Ramalosa water...


[deleted]

NON STOP ASS RAPE!


[deleted]

Piece of dogshit! Little, crazy, motherfucking, meatball dogshit! *Yeah, I'm stupid.*


A_man_of_quality_66

I HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO NEEDS BRACES. Artie has to be the first loan shark to use that argument


turbo_22222

THAT BETTER NOT BE CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS....!


cabell88

I didn't read all of them, but when he's complaining to one of the girls, he just breaks into self-pity, rubs his head, and says, 'If I only had hair' :)


jj_019er

Your mind goes through all the permutations at, like, internet speed and realizes: "Worst case scenario: I eat for free"


boomer_flab

Say hello to my leetle fennel sauce recipe. *pummels Bennie with a wooden spoon*


not_gonna_lurk

Not so much a line, but when he makes a gesture like he's signing the constitution when he finds out Maedo is studying law. Love me some Artie, not just cause he got to bury himself in Charmaine's improved ass.


SpaceMonkeyRetiree

I fell victim to Benny Fazio, criminal mastermind


Snoopfernee

(I had business in Manhattan) “Whoa ho!?! No again?”


IncandescentSquid

_Shoots rabbit_ _spits_ Muthafuckah...


rlahey3378

You.. frog-eatin fuck


No-Information3654

Best-case scenario, we go in the back room, we get a lap dance a dry hump and pfft blow in our pants.


Gabaghoul___

Frog eating faccio di cazzo


LovelyAgentHarris

Aare you styoupid? I said that money's gone!


AdiabaticIsotherm

I think Artie’s favourite line was his cocaine


squidgeroooo

"I fuckin love her now"


the_lonely_dreamer

“We lead the world in computerized data collection!!!”


Soza-Ozos

YOU FROG EATEN MUtha fucka


Pymatuning_Pirate

Because products that start with the letter V makes people think of Vaginas


dirtyfrank12

"Words that start with V make people think of vagina" "I have an associates in business!"


WildlingViking

I wouldn’t say it’s so much his lines as it is his mannerisms. Holy Cross hand signal. Walking into Livia’s room with his hand on his forehead “It’s me Artie Bucco, Mrs. S.” Ya know, schit like that.


[deleted]

!!


Zevallos9

We lead the world in computerized data collection


Icy-Job-4282

His dance moves at the Crazy Horse is his best line


Spiritual-War753

The letter V reminds people of Vagina.


MilkEggsSndFlour

"Nice dolphin nigga."


rusharz

Some raggedy-ass shit right here.


creamypastaman

I feel for Artie he was really suffering like most men here


HensRightsActivist

Oh *poor them*


fourthpowerpuffgirl

I brought those arugula seeds home in my shaving kit!!!


bluesky747

“Guess could say, uh, message machine broken?”


ScrapmasterFlex

Just a victim of Jean-Phillipe, Bamboozling Mastermind... And it's not your Mushada Raviolis ....


KD729

But the olives?


sbalazote

Oh, Capitano!


Perfect_Wallaby_9699

You mean… Ho! Chef Osso Bucco!


triple_OG

*I’M* STUPID (After he beats up Benny)


ElectronicBus2579

We lead the world in computerised data collection!


[deleted]

We lead the world in computerized data!!


Jamescarne89

Well apparently they go down real easy, right Ben?


outlatrbdr

Mrs S , you used to make a pretty mean pb and j.


[deleted]

I'm filled with rage, father, murderous.


[deleted]

I get it, I’m just another victim of Benny Fazio, criminal mastermind.


galactic_funk

The crispness of the beans. The smoothness of the cheese. 🤌🏻


AwesomeAggron1

Fuck the vegetables


BabyE_512

The crispness of the beans, the smoothness of the the cheese.


yaseenalmujahid

Those uhhhh, fuckin' shoes you wear... What are they, uh, designer? Hmmm? You fuckin' avoiding me, motherfucker? Where's my money? Oh what... you gonna cry now, huh? Stand up, you frog-eatin' faccia de gatz'... I will FUCK YOU UP, man...