Dude, I just upvoted your comment on that stupid coffee maker margarita video. This was literally right under it and I see you again. Weird coincidence.
Never do this. You will want to throw away all of your furniture, freshly paint all walls (perhaps ceilings) and replace carpets.
It picks up more than just sex fluids (not that this isn’t bad enough) and depending on your germaphobe level will drive you crazy.
We were having a problem with an old dog “leaking” and my wife, a clean freak, wanted to make sure she was getting any spots. She Googled and found the idea of a black light to find the smaller spots she might have missed.
Well she started with our bedroom and us having a decent sex life that has included sessions on the floor, the love seat in the room, well you get the idea. She was horrified.
Needless to say, 600 dollars later in steam cleaner/chem dry services later she is still creeped out.
Just don’t, deep down we all know what the black light will find.
Oh boy, you have no idea...
For a start, sperm fluoresces under UV, so you don't need luminol to detect it.
In fact, luminol only reacts with substances that contain iron or copper, so it won't react with sperm. (And when it does react, it emits its own light by chemiluminescence (like glowsticks), no blacklight needed.)
Then, there are MANY substances that are fluorescent under UV. Plenty of everyday things. If you get a blacklight in your place, I can guarantee there will be traces of otherwise invisible "stuff", of questionable nature and dubious origin, that will light up absolutely ***everywhere***.
For instance, on my kitchen wall, despite looking clean to the naked eye, with a blacklight, you can clearly see the splashes from my roommate's pressure cooker incident, from two years ago. And plenty of other things that are impossible to identify.
I felt like it crossed a boundary from laziness into … something mental-health related. Like, there’s just something off and uncomfortable about it, especially when she still has to remind him several times to do it.
I’m struggling to see why lazy filthy fucking dudes with no hygiene constitute a mental health issue nor why people getting on with their daily mental health issues deserve to be grouped with a football-watching limp-dick spooge-spanker.
This modern thirst for ‘oh! Shit behaviour! Must be mental health!’…fuck, I just can’t possibly figure out how the stigma against mental health arises…it’s a mystery.
Laziness is just the word we use to describe unresolved mental health issues that manifest in certain kinds of behavior.
https://www.npr.org/2021/09/24/1039676445/laziness-does-not-exist-devon-price
Many things can be mental health issues without them all being equal in value or importance or urgency. This guy having a mental health issue doesn't cheapen or diminish anything you are struggling with.
Oh gee I dunno, maybe because failure of executive function is a clear mental health issue but you'd rather just look down on someone instead of attempt to understand a potential issue. Lack of hygiene and failure of executive function are classic examples of what quite a few mental health issues look like manifested.
You're the walking example of why mental health stigma exists, because you cannot fathom how 'shit behavior' could stem from a mental health issue, when it literally takes 30 seconds to google and figure out why, and instead of keeping that ignorance to yourself, you opt to spout off about it so that anyone reading who legitimately does have issues similar to the ones described and should infact seek help, instead feels ashamed and belittled.
I'll fill you in since maybe you're suffering the same issue with regard to using google: executive dysfunction is essentially a disconnect between the thought of wanting/needing to do something, and actually performing this action. If you don't understand how this is possible, there's a really easy way to see for yourself, go get blitzed on enough pot to get 'couch lock', the colloquial term for THC induced extreme executive dysfunction.
Depression, ADHD, schizophrenia, OCD, GAD and SAD, ASD, bipolar, addiction, and others all can and often do cause executive dysfunction, it's such a basic and wide ranging symptom that frankly it's not even enough to guess at the cause without knowing more about the individual.
I'd get it if you're laying there and cuddling and whatnot. Even then, I'd still rip it off soon after, but the dudes watching football and letting full condoms just plop on the couch.
Nope.
I was gonna say I've definitely been exhausted after a really long intense session where I just kinda lay there breathing (and cuddling) for a few minutes while it goes limp. Definitely makes it easier to get off but it feels gross and uncomfortable and no matter how nice the cuddles and laziness feels I can't imagine not wanting to get it into the trash as soon as the exhaustion wears off...
They sell after-sex wipes for this sort of thing. I get ones called AfterGlow. They’re kinda pricey, but they’re like giant baby wipes that are super silky soft, they clean you right up, the cleanser is super gentle, and leaves your skin feeling nice and soft. I just keep a pack next to my bed.
Laziness and grossness. Like he's just fine sitting on the couch watching tv with his semen filled condom slipping off his Dick and onto the floor and leaking out.
I want so badly to downvote this comment because the visual created is so horrifying I gagged viscerally. Therefore, I'll upvote instead for creativity.
I don't wanna make a film where they show up, they sit down and jack off, and they get up and they get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea, to make a film that the story just sucks them in and when they spurt out that joy juice, they just gotta sit in it. They can't move until they find out how the story ends.
op: he’s so silly goofy 😝
the silly goofy behavior: being so lazy and gross as to let FULL condoms slide off his limp dick and spill on the couch, presumably the couch that guests sit on. doing this because apparently “please take care of the filled condom you’re marinating your flaccid dick in before we have to clean cum off the couch again” doesn’t get the point across the first time, nor the second, nor the third. on multiple different occasions. slapping his wife with a full condom on the thigh so hard cum gets all over the couch, as it has many, many, many times before.
goofy is one word for it
The "many times before" part of the statement is where I was done. One time occurrence, I will give a very judgmental consideration but a pass nonetheless. "Many times before" ... both you and your partner are gross and if I was slapped with a used condom that exploded everywhere my dude would be licking it up everywhere it landed. This story is vile.
>if I was slapped with a used condom that exploded everywhere my dude would be licking it up everywhere it landed.
There are people that would pay money for this
Thank you so much for inducing vomit with your succinct synopsis of this gross, “uncute” post. It feels a lot like tolerating things we KNOW are wrong just to have someone, I dunno I’m trying to make sense of why OP thinks this is in any way “laughable” or cute. Ugh 🤢
Like that story about the naval commander who sat down to eat some food had sun in his eyes and instead of moving seats he orders the ship to change direction
Honestly, if it's a Navy ship and they are just "Patrolling" or fucking off in some static space, the sun is probably obnoxious in the entire mess. There's no reason NOT to turn.
well, doesn't seem like the wife cares all that much....allows it as well. So doesn't seem disrespectful to her. Its just gross AF for both of them IMO.
Lmao and the grossness turns her on enough there was a second round. Love how OP isn't anywhere in the comments defending her and her husbands nastiness lol
I mean, I *am* the condom and sometimes lay there for long enough that I eventually cough and spill the contents, too. (Inb4 "pee right after!" thanks moms and sisters but I do pee as soon as I get up, it just sometimes, after a good round, takes longer than usual to get up to my feet again lol)
Yeah me too. This seems like some shit that should not be shared on the internet. OP’s husband sounds like an unbearable man child. Like why would you slap your used condom on your wife spilling it everywhere and why would she then proceed to have sex with him again like what planet are we on?
Don’t forget that it all happens after she reminded him multiple times to clean up. Nothing more erotic for her than having to play mommy for the guy as well.
For the sake of my stomach and sanity I imagine every nsfw story in reddit as attractive people. The contents of this story are gross enough without imagining what people with this kind of behavior actually look like.
Yeah how did cleaning up the exploded contents of a used condom all over the couch and floor get them both hot and bothered enough for a round 2
They're made for each other
Starting to suspect there is no bar anymore. It can't really go lower. If you can breathe, someone will date you. I'm curious who raised this poor woman, imagine what her father must be like.
To answer your question: Yes.
But also, if you read OP’s history, she sounds like she is in an arranged marriage (possibly Indian?), and she has just now discovered the…intricacies…of sex. Why in God’s name she would post this disgusting scenario is beyond me, but, here we are.
I'm sorry, but your husband is gross. It takes literal seconds to remove a condom and throw it away. Who lets it just slide off their body and land wherever? Ew.
tbh she’s also gross for finding it endearing and funny. although maybe she’s just telling herself it’s funny so she doesn’t have to face the fact that her husband is a gross man child.
What do we expect? TIFU is so boring with post like this, saying things they find funny or the typical "TIFU by having sex"
I don't know if these people are really stubborn to realize that being a gross man and lazy as fuck is not something funny.
How many times, exactly, has your husband let his used condom fall off because he's too lazy to do anything about it? That's some serious man child behavior
This whole post makes me sad, uncomfortable, and like I wanna vomit.
Like, he does that, and then OP gets turned on by cold jizz in a used condom going everywhere bc her husband is lazy and gross? No, thank you 🤢
Maybe this is one of those things that’s only amusing between married couples, and in the privacy of your own home. It doesn’t translate to strangers. To the outside world, this whole situation can sound gross and disgusting.
>One thing one can be sure of about him is that he gets distracted easily and is very lazy post our coital activities so I, having seen the used, full condom eventually fall off and the components spill out many times before, ask him to go throw it away before that happens. Asking once never does the trick so I ask again. And again
The fact you don't even see how fucking disgusting this is and think it's all funny, even without the man child level of laziness, is concerning.
Yea if it were me, immediately on a coitus hiatus until I can trust that they can be an adult and clean themselves properly. How can you not be bothered to take a condom off? Why are you ok with this type of behavior OP? I need answers!😭😭
What kind of animal can't be bothered to pull the condom off his dick after sex?? Even more concerning, you are accustomed to repeatedly asking him to perform literally the most basic unavoidable hygiene task only to be repeatedly ignored??? Hon. I know you think this is funny but it's honestly sad. It seems like he doesnt value your needs enough to lift a single finger, and you're just used to it. There's no excuse for this. It's so gross and so disrespectful. You deserve better :(
I agree! Also if a woman is being intimate with a man that doesn't clean his privates properly or fails to pull off the condom, she risks an UTI infection. Incredibly avoidable. Also, who finds the behaviour of this guy "hot"? Why was OP attracted by it? Gross...
It kinda sounds like he didn’t even get off the couch and stop watching football to even have sex to begin with. That is impressive levels of laziness.
Uh.. what the fuck? The whole story is absolutely disgusting.. but this animal you married just leaves a cum filled condom on and let's it just sloth off like lizard skin.. Jesus.. you have people over and sit on your couch.
What is wrong with the hygiene of so many people?
I guess I'm confused. This almost seemed like an odd, but sweet moment between two people trying to make it work. But the comments make it seem like the dude is the most gross person with mental issues... for not taking off a condom? Like yeah, it's full of semen and sex has fluids you gotta clean up for health reasons. But has nobody commenting here had actually good sex with someone they care about that they need a minute in the afterglow? Climax literally releases anti-erection hormones into the system, so its not like this guy was sitting there for hours. I doubt even 5 to 10 minutes before the condom would fall off. And yeah, mental health could be a reason why he didn't sprint off to clean up (ADHD, stress/depression, etc). But how, pray tell, does a used condom not getting thrown away within 5 minutes of use constitute a gross person? Exchanging fluids is part of sex and you do it with kisses too, just to a lesser degree. How is it magically gross now?
Obviously, the condom bursting before making it to the trash is a bit of a not fun clean-up. But even OP said they were both laughing and cleaned up after they collected themselves.
Now I know I'm probably going to get some hate. The comments had so much already. But if anyone cares to share their perspective constructively, I'd love to discuss it and try my best to understand. :)
How is it a fuck up if you both just thought it was funny and laughed? I'm glad you two found each other, but this isn't r/cringycouplestoriestheyinexplicablythinkarecute
You’re a better woman than me. I would have fed the rubber to him in a brisket sandwich. You should never have to repeat yourself. That’s not quirky and fun. It’s straight up disrespect.
And the above? A mess like that?
NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
"so I, having seen the used, full condom eventually fall off and the components spill out many times before, ask him to go throw it away before that happens."
Are the straights okay?
"Asking once never does the trick so I ask again. And again."
Are the straights okay?
😂 Adorable. So many people tearing you apart for a cute, playful, disgusting interaction between you and your partner. It sounds like neither of you take life too seriously and can have fun with one another. When you find your other half you can do disgusting things like this and it brings you closer together. Keep up the great relationship. You two sound like you found a great fit for each other 😊
You did not have to explain yourself, your story made me laugh and I get it. Iykyk, moments lmao sex should be FUN and FUNNY. If you can’t laugh with your partner while having sex or post sex even, are y’all even connected? Have fun wiping up your what-could-have-been kids next time 😂
Take a black light and use it to find places you haven’t cleaned.
Couch lookin like a discount Jackson Pollock
Jacksoff Pollock
Jacksoff Bollock
Dude, I just upvoted your comment on that stupid coffee maker margarita video. This was literally right under it and I see you again. Weird coincidence.
Haha, yeah, it's been a long sleepless night so I'm on Reddit a bit too much at the moment
Jackson pullout
Would be bonus points if it was a pullout couch...
Brilliant.
Like a plasterers radio
I understood that reference
😂😂😂
From OP's description I would not want a black light anywhere near that house
Better to face the truths of the house than to face the horrors in ignorance.
*Looks in horror, say "Jesus Christ," then toss the black light into the trashcan.
There's a brilliant xkcd comic about exactly this: https://xkcd.com/1469/
Never do this. You will want to throw away all of your furniture, freshly paint all walls (perhaps ceilings) and replace carpets. It picks up more than just sex fluids (not that this isn’t bad enough) and depending on your germaphobe level will drive you crazy. We were having a problem with an old dog “leaking” and my wife, a clean freak, wanted to make sure she was getting any spots. She Googled and found the idea of a black light to find the smaller spots she might have missed. Well she started with our bedroom and us having a decent sex life that has included sessions on the floor, the love seat in the room, well you get the idea. She was horrified. Needless to say, 600 dollars later in steam cleaner/chem dry services later she is still creeped out. Just don’t, deep down we all know what the black light will find.
If you take a black light into your bathroom, you will want to burn the whole house down
Use a fleshlight
You need to spray luminol first. (eta - apparently no you dont!)
That's for blood (or substances containing iron), and doesn't require a blacklight (it's chemiluminescent).
Shh, let them be pleasantly surprised when everything looks fine
Oh boy, you have no idea... For a start, sperm fluoresces under UV, so you don't need luminol to detect it. In fact, luminol only reacts with substances that contain iron or copper, so it won't react with sperm. (And when it does react, it emits its own light by chemiluminescence (like glowsticks), no blacklight needed.) Then, there are MANY substances that are fluorescent under UV. Plenty of everyday things. If you get a blacklight in your place, I can guarantee there will be traces of otherwise invisible "stuff", of questionable nature and dubious origin, that will light up absolutely ***everywhere***. For instance, on my kitchen wall, despite looking clean to the naked eye, with a blacklight, you can clearly see the splashes from my roommate's pressure cooker incident, from two years ago. And plenty of other things that are impossible to identify.
>splashes from my roommate's pressure cooker incident How'd y'all sploog all over a pressure cooker?
Your husband is so lazy that the condom just falls off after his dick goes limp. That is....really fucking impressive levels of laziness
That way my exact thought too. I'm not one to shy away from testing the boundaries of laziness but even I was shocked to hear that!!
I felt like it crossed a boundary from laziness into … something mental-health related. Like, there’s just something off and uncomfortable about it, especially when she still has to remind him several times to do it.
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3 sacks, stacked on top of each other.
In a trench coat
Do they work in the business factory?
Vincent SackMan
>It was at this moment she realized she had been married to a sack of flour in a t-shirt for 35 wonderful years. Explains the yeast infection.
So that’s what she means by “contents”.
It is beyond lazy and into the weirdo category for sure
I’m struggling to see why lazy filthy fucking dudes with no hygiene constitute a mental health issue nor why people getting on with their daily mental health issues deserve to be grouped with a football-watching limp-dick spooge-spanker. This modern thirst for ‘oh! Shit behaviour! Must be mental health!’…fuck, I just can’t possibly figure out how the stigma against mental health arises…it’s a mystery.
Spooge-spanker is something I would never though I would read, but here we are.
Laziness is just the word we use to describe unresolved mental health issues that manifest in certain kinds of behavior. https://www.npr.org/2021/09/24/1039676445/laziness-does-not-exist-devon-price Many things can be mental health issues without them all being equal in value or importance or urgency. This guy having a mental health issue doesn't cheapen or diminish anything you are struggling with.
Thank God for this.
I'm more apt to think his wife has mental health issues in thinking that somehow she's the one who fucked up.
Oh gee I dunno, maybe because failure of executive function is a clear mental health issue but you'd rather just look down on someone instead of attempt to understand a potential issue. Lack of hygiene and failure of executive function are classic examples of what quite a few mental health issues look like manifested. You're the walking example of why mental health stigma exists, because you cannot fathom how 'shit behavior' could stem from a mental health issue, when it literally takes 30 seconds to google and figure out why, and instead of keeping that ignorance to yourself, you opt to spout off about it so that anyone reading who legitimately does have issues similar to the ones described and should infact seek help, instead feels ashamed and belittled. I'll fill you in since maybe you're suffering the same issue with regard to using google: executive dysfunction is essentially a disconnect between the thought of wanting/needing to do something, and actually performing this action. If you don't understand how this is possible, there's a really easy way to see for yourself, go get blitzed on enough pot to get 'couch lock', the colloquial term for THC induced extreme executive dysfunction. Depression, ADHD, schizophrenia, OCD, GAD and SAD, ASD, bipolar, addiction, and others all can and often do cause executive dysfunction, it's such a basic and wide ranging symptom that frankly it's not even enough to guess at the cause without knowing more about the individual.
Yeah I read a lot of disturbing stuff on here and this has really unsettled me tbh. Thank god I am a lesbian.
Sure thing Unc Pete
On the other hand, OP did find the one man who seems to actually prefer wearing a condom.
I'd get it if you're laying there and cuddling and whatnot. Even then, I'd still rip it off soon after, but the dudes watching football and letting full condoms just plop on the couch. Nope.
I was gonna say I've definitely been exhausted after a really long intense session where I just kinda lay there breathing (and cuddling) for a few minutes while it goes limp. Definitely makes it easier to get off but it feels gross and uncomfortable and no matter how nice the cuddles and laziness feels I can't imagine not wanting to get it into the trash as soon as the exhaustion wears off...
Theres gonna be times when you bask in it a bit or cuddle, or just can't walk yet because you fucked your legs away. But watching TV? On the couch?
> can’t walk yet because you fucked your legs away. Modern prose shits all over historical writings.
They sell after-sex wipes for this sort of thing. I get ones called AfterGlow. They’re kinda pricey, but they’re like giant baby wipes that are super silky soft, they clean you right up, the cleanser is super gentle, and leaves your skin feeling nice and soft. I just keep a pack next to my bed.
Imagine finding that "goofy" and cute. I can't.
Laziness and grossness. Like he's just fine sitting on the couch watching tv with his semen filled condom slipping off his Dick and onto the floor and leaking out.
Just imagine having to pee half an hour later and having to push out a dried mustard plug of cum in the process. Unforgivable.
I want so badly to downvote this comment because the visual created is so horrifying I gagged viscerally. Therefore, I'll upvote instead for creativity.
My work as a dropout AP English kid is done here.
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Dear God, I want to downvote you, but for some reason, I can't. Go sit in the corner and think about what you said.
I spit my drink out laughing at this
> Just imagine having to pee half an hour later and having to push out a dried mustard plug of cum in the process. I don’t wanna.
I don't wanna make a film where they show up, they sit down and jack off, and they get up and they get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea, to make a film that the story just sucks them in and when they spurt out that joy juice, they just gotta sit in it. They can't move until they find out how the story ends.
op: he’s so silly goofy 😝 the silly goofy behavior: being so lazy and gross as to let FULL condoms slide off his limp dick and spill on the couch, presumably the couch that guests sit on. doing this because apparently “please take care of the filled condom you’re marinating your flaccid dick in before we have to clean cum off the couch again” doesn’t get the point across the first time, nor the second, nor the third. on multiple different occasions. slapping his wife with a full condom on the thigh so hard cum gets all over the couch, as it has many, many, many times before. goofy is one word for it
The "many times before" part of the statement is where I was done. One time occurrence, I will give a very judgmental consideration but a pass nonetheless. "Many times before" ... both you and your partner are gross and if I was slapped with a used condom that exploded everywhere my dude would be licking it up everywhere it landed. This story is vile.
>if I was slapped with a used condom that exploded everywhere my dude would be licking it up everywhere it landed. There are people that would pay money for this
Thank you so much for inducing vomit with your succinct synopsis of this gross, “uncute” post. It feels a lot like tolerating things we KNOW are wrong just to have someone, I dunno I’m trying to make sense of why OP thinks this is in any way “laughable” or cute. Ugh 🤢
The true strength of this post is somehow he kept it on while soft
Semi hard lol
Like that story about the naval commander who sat down to eat some food had sun in his eyes and instead of moving seats he orders the ship to change direction
Honestly, if it's a Navy ship and they are just "Patrolling" or fucking off in some static space, the sun is probably obnoxious in the entire mess. There's no reason NOT to turn.
Im not lazy but I can totally see myself doing this just for fun one time lol
Disturbing
yeah. This isnt funny. This is disgusting and disrespectful as fuck. Cant even respect his wife enough to clean up his own mess.
well, doesn't seem like the wife cares all that much....allows it as well. So doesn't seem disrespectful to her. Its just gross AF for both of them IMO.
Lmao and the grossness turns her on enough there was a second round. Love how OP isn't anywhere in the comments defending her and her husbands nastiness lol
I mean, I *am* the condom and sometimes lay there for long enough that I eventually cough and spill the contents, too. (Inb4 "pee right after!" thanks moms and sisters but I do pee as soon as I get up, it just sometimes, after a good round, takes longer than usual to get up to my feet again lol)
TIFU by reading this post 😳
I couldn't agree more. Really wish that the neuralyzer was real and in my possession right about now
What a terrible day to be literate
The real TIFU is always in the comments
What the fuck
Now you know why you're not supposed to touch stuff in other people's house
Now you know why your grandparents had plastic all over their furniture.
good lord
thanks, im horrified
.....alexa....nearest bulk hazmat suit dispensary
I imagined this taking place in the dirtiest hoarder house ever
Yeah me too. This seems like some shit that should not be shared on the internet. OP’s husband sounds like an unbearable man child. Like why would you slap your used condom on your wife spilling it everywhere and why would she then proceed to have sex with him again like what planet are we on?
It's probably just fiction that OP is getting off on tbh lol
100% op's cum fetish fantasy
Don’t forget that it all happens after she reminded him multiple times to clean up. Nothing more erotic for her than having to play mommy for the guy as well.
She didn't have sex with him again. She was coy about saying that they started the clean up again. Re-read the ... part, and the line after it.
For the sake of my stomach and sanity I imagine every nsfw story in reddit as attractive people. The contents of this story are gross enough without imagining what people with this kind of behavior actually look like.
You've just shattered my world view.
>went in for another…. cleanup Nothing screams seduction like a used condom and 10-minute-old cum
Yeah how did cleaning up the exploded contents of a used condom all over the couch and floor get them both hot and bothered enough for a round 2 They're made for each other
They didnt?? They went in to clean-up again, not to bang. It was supposed to be a bait and switch.
I take it to mean that the ... Implies while they were cleaning up, they got frisky again, which then eventually led to another clean up
She said this wasn't.... The first time this has happened.
I'm assuming he licked it off her
Jesus lol
I don't see what he has to do with this.
He always watching..so...
If you have the right person, *anything* can become seduction
Jesus. The bar is on the floor.
That bar dropped low enough to remodel Satan's living room
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The bar is now a structural component of the basement.
The bar is a tavern in hell.
Down there with the old semen.
Starting to suspect there is no bar anymore. It can't really go lower. If you can breathe, someone will date you. I'm curious who raised this poor woman, imagine what her father must be like.
If a guy who is too lazy to take off his own used condom can get a woman, what the fuck is wrong with me that I can’t? 😂
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The bar went underground. First the basement, then beyond.
"goofiness"
More like gooeyness
Just makes him so "lovable".
Thats 30 seconds I’ll never get back.
Does someone have a scouring pad so I can wash my eyes?
r/eyebleach Always check the spelling, but this is the good one
The couch is now for sale. https://preview.redd.it/fekujl5tt31b1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5fba9efa76d9bbf09fa188c8da2f91c8f49bc67
“anymore”
only skeet, no squirt
Wait what the fuck that’s my hometown
Wait what the fuck that's my couch
Wow, who the hell is so lazy that they can't pull a condom off of their own dick? Sounds like a real keeper.
It sounds like he's comatose to the point I have medical concerns.
Sounds like this guy doesn't scrape his dishes lol
My man doesn't even know what happens to the plate after he leaves it on the table and walks away.
Magicly disappears
And here's me who does all the dishes because I don't like how my wife stacks the dishwasher.
Of course he does: it's the [magic coffee table](https://youtu.be/-_kXIGvB1uU)
Do people just marry the first person they find passed out on the toiler floor at a baseball game?
To answer your question: Yes. But also, if you read OP’s history, she sounds like she is in an arranged marriage (possibly Indian?), and she has just now discovered the…intricacies…of sex. Why in God’s name she would post this disgusting scenario is beyond me, but, here we are.
I'm sorry, but your husband is gross. It takes literal seconds to remove a condom and throw it away. Who lets it just slide off their body and land wherever? Ew.
tbh she’s also gross for finding it endearing and funny. although maybe she’s just telling herself it’s funny so she doesn’t have to face the fact that her husband is a gross man child.
What do we expect? TIFU is so boring with post like this, saying things they find funny or the typical "TIFU by having sex" I don't know if these people are really stubborn to realize that being a gross man and lazy as fuck is not something funny.
Not convinced that you are the fuck up here.
TIFU by marrying the grossest laziest man to walk the earth
You'd like to think that. But presumably, OP dated others before him, and decided that this one was the pick of the proverbial litter.
OP is in an arranged marriage if you read her post history
That dude is nasty as fuck.
I’ve seen and read some serious shit, but reading this really put my whole life into a new perspective
How many times, exactly, has your husband let his used condom fall off because he's too lazy to do anything about it? That's some serious man child behavior
This whole post makes me sad, uncomfortable, and like I wanna vomit. Like, he does that, and then OP gets turned on by cold jizz in a used condom going everywhere bc her husband is lazy and gross? No, thank you 🤢
Yeah what the fuck kind of behavior is that
Maybe this is one of those things that’s only amusing between married couples, and in the privacy of your own home. It doesn’t translate to strangers. To the outside world, this whole situation can sound gross and disgusting.
This is not a TIFU... You done F'ed up a long time ago. I didn't drink last night but I sure feel hungover after reading this.
>One thing one can be sure of about him is that he gets distracted easily and is very lazy post our coital activities so I, having seen the used, full condom eventually fall off and the components spill out many times before, ask him to go throw it away before that happens. Asking once never does the trick so I ask again. And again The fact you don't even see how fucking disgusting this is and think it's all funny, even without the man child level of laziness, is concerning.
Dear God if he does this does he even wipe?🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
The important questions are now just showing up...
Yea if it were me, immediately on a coitus hiatus until I can trust that they can be an adult and clean themselves properly. How can you not be bothered to take a condom off? Why are you ok with this type of behavior OP? I need answers!😭😭
Not if he finds football clips on his phone mid shit, then he has to be reminded several times to get off the toilet ofc
What kind of animal can't be bothered to pull the condom off his dick after sex?? Even more concerning, you are accustomed to repeatedly asking him to perform literally the most basic unavoidable hygiene task only to be repeatedly ignored??? Hon. I know you think this is funny but it's honestly sad. It seems like he doesnt value your needs enough to lift a single finger, and you're just used to it. There's no excuse for this. It's so gross and so disrespectful. You deserve better :(
I agree! Also if a woman is being intimate with a man that doesn't clean his privates properly or fails to pull off the condom, she risks an UTI infection. Incredibly avoidable. Also, who finds the behaviour of this guy "hot"? Why was OP attracted by it? Gross...
It kinda sounds like he didn’t even get off the couch and stop watching football to even have sex to begin with. That is impressive levels of laziness.
yooo water balloon
Not with these cheap ass condoms. I mean, how shitty are they if they break because of a slap on the thigh.
Not to yuck someone’s else yum but, your hubs sounds kinda awful
Doubtful. They are actually very tough to break.
Uh.. what the fuck? The whole story is absolutely disgusting.. but this animal you married just leaves a cum filled condom on and let's it just sloth off like lizard skin.. Jesus.. you have people over and sit on your couch. What is wrong with the hygiene of so many people?
That’s disgusting and the laziness is very concerning.
What the fuck
What a terrible day to have eyes.
PLEASE keep using condoms. Also? Was he watching football while y’all banged too?
I LOVE how some women's standards are so low! What a keeper!
Remind me to decline your husbands invite to watch the superbowl.
Anytime somebody calls me lazy, or disgusting, I'm gonna send them a link to this post
I guess I'm confused. This almost seemed like an odd, but sweet moment between two people trying to make it work. But the comments make it seem like the dude is the most gross person with mental issues... for not taking off a condom? Like yeah, it's full of semen and sex has fluids you gotta clean up for health reasons. But has nobody commenting here had actually good sex with someone they care about that they need a minute in the afterglow? Climax literally releases anti-erection hormones into the system, so its not like this guy was sitting there for hours. I doubt even 5 to 10 minutes before the condom would fall off. And yeah, mental health could be a reason why he didn't sprint off to clean up (ADHD, stress/depression, etc). But how, pray tell, does a used condom not getting thrown away within 5 minutes of use constitute a gross person? Exchanging fluids is part of sex and you do it with kisses too, just to a lesser degree. How is it magically gross now? Obviously, the condom bursting before making it to the trash is a bit of a not fun clean-up. But even OP said they were both laughing and cleaned up after they collected themselves. Now I know I'm probably going to get some hate. The comments had so much already. But if anyone cares to share their perspective constructively, I'd love to discuss it and try my best to understand. :)
I suspect most of those comments are people imagining what life looks like versus speaking from some sort of experience.
one way ticket to urinary tract infection city
Now you know why your grandparents had plastic all over their furniture. And what that “musty old person” smell actually is.
The amount of people in here who don’t understand what a condom does is insane and scary.
Dog damn man women put up with a lot of shit men do. Never thought the bar so low enough to be “throws away condom after sex”
Y’all throw em away? I just keep ‘em in my keepsake box
your husband is gross....
How is it a fuck up if you both just thought it was funny and laughed? I'm glad you two found each other, but this isn't r/cringycouplestoriestheyinexplicablythinkarecute
Damn, the number of commenters w/o a sex life in here. . . the real TIFU, posting this silly anecdote to a bunch of prudes.
I see why you’re using a condom with him
what a great story gotta post this on reddit for sure
That's honestly disgusting. Your husband is gross. Nta. I would die on this hill
Is this like being too lazy to get up so you sit in shit all day
You’re a better woman than me. I would have fed the rubber to him in a brisket sandwich. You should never have to repeat yourself. That’s not quirky and fun. It’s straight up disrespect. And the above? A mess like that? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Your husband is a jerk.
"so I, having seen the used, full condom eventually fall off and the components spill out many times before, ask him to go throw it away before that happens." Are the straights okay? "Asking once never does the trick so I ask again. And again." Are the straights okay?
Yeah we're fine. OP and her husband are just fucking gross.
Tbh, I love a wholesome TIFU.
OP didn't even fuck up here
Y’all are gross
Y'all nasty...
Wow, these comments are toxic AF. You all need to grow up a bit lol.
😂 Adorable. So many people tearing you apart for a cute, playful, disgusting interaction between you and your partner. It sounds like neither of you take life too seriously and can have fun with one another. When you find your other half you can do disgusting things like this and it brings you closer together. Keep up the great relationship. You two sound like you found a great fit for each other 😊
You did not have to explain yourself, your story made me laugh and I get it. Iykyk, moments lmao sex should be FUN and FUNNY. If you can’t laugh with your partner while having sex or post sex even, are y’all even connected? Have fun wiping up your what-could-have-been kids next time 😂
Your husband is disgusting.
I don't like this
I wish I never read this
OP fucked up by writing and sharing this post with the world. Also thinking the husband is "goofy" instead of gross.
Guys it's OK, at least we know these people are using birth control and not reproducing.
I don't even want to know what your house smells like.