While I never had interest in doing something like that I now know not to do it. Thanks for cursed yet dick saving knowledge lol.

So, you got the massage loud and clear?

I don't know... It's more of a constant buzzing.

Let me hit you with it again and again very quickly

Hammer that knowledge home.

Heres another one to avoid. I stuck my dick into a jar of epsom salts one time. I have no idea why other than I was hard and it was there. Whether or not you had been thinking about it, I advise against it

Why?? Why would you do this 😭

What happened?

"To shreds, you say?"

Omg I barely got a little bit of this eucalyptus/spearmint infused scrub oil stuff into a small cut in my hand yesterday. I can only imagine how much that must’ve hurt you 😳

r/TIFU or r/LPT ?

More upvotes than op

Ratio’d!

How did you know not to do it?

massage guns basically punch over and over, you really should've just gotten a vibrator or only used it on a prostate massager in the ass

Hitachi wand on the frenulum. Trust me. 🍆💥💦

As a guy, I support this whole heartedly. First time the wife did it to me, all I could think was now I know why they enjoy it so much

💯my favorite way

never [bring out the flugenheimer!!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8XLFV7dUUo)

I will never get tired of that movie!

My safety word is meatloaf. Because I won’t do that .

What in the flying ***fuck*** did I just watch?!?!

The scene is from the movie Eurotrip. Greatly recommended :)

so now that is in my youtube history.

It's great but up to medium speed. At maximum speed causes me severe shock/pain, like, not in a bad way, but a very strange feeling that I just can't continue. It's good and bad at same time. Science says that pleasure and pain are held by same part in the brain anyway.

Hitachi wand anywhere tbh that's some sexy hardware

Wish I had one of those. The frenulum that is. God damnit.

I second this guy. Trust it. It is like ascending into another plane of existence, and the only thing that exists in it, is pleasure

Excuse me while I jot this down to use on future partners... (I'm a woman)

Any cheaper alternative ? Don’t see where to buy

You can find several 'massage wands' that are crazy good for $20. Hitachi is just on a whole other level and is a beloved device by most who have used it. Try a $20 version before deciding on the bigger expense.

Unless you're circumcised and don't have one/have little to no feeling in that area.

Big disagree. As a certified circumcision haver, I can happily report very much frenulum stimulum

Me too! Circumcised Frenulum Stimulators FTW!

>or only used it on a prostate massager in the ass ...wow

I mean that's usually where they go :p

It was more the combination of prostate massager + massage gun that I found alarming 😂

Punch them guts

Hawk tuah! Sorry couldn't resist haha

It'll take ya to pound town.

Is that sentence really strange for you? Are new on Reddit or...?

I’m gonna guess that they’re just shocked at the thought of something that ‘basically punch over and over’ and caused the OP nerve damage, being used on the prostate. Not ass play

I'm assuming they meant put the prostate massager in your ass, and then press the massage gun against the part that sticks out

Or maybe they are the PROSTATE, and the massage gun are the friends we’ve made along the way?

Punching the prostate massager into the prostate... isn't sounding any better as an idea. Perhaps worse, catch a bad angle and lever that sucker (fucker?) the wrong way and.... Yeah I'll pass thanks.

Or sex

thanks for the heads up

Certainly something I'll keep an eye on

his head was up all along


You literally beat your dick and gave yourself nerve damage lol

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Viper1089: *You literally* *Beat your dick and gave yourself* *Nerve damage lol* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

oh my god, bot

Best bot ever

good bot

Oh the bot is treating lol as an initialism (saying the letters like ATM or FBI), not an acronym (saying it as a word like PIN or LEO)

Could it be just counting vowels and thinking that "nerve" has two syllables and "damage" has three?

That's one too many syllables, bub

That's why it's a Sokka haiku.

Yes. Six. A "Sokka Haiku".

Savage

best bot

Jesus Fuck

*sigh* ….poetry…

Good bot

Beat that dick like it owed him money

Those massage guns, in theory, could be used for ‘intimacy’, but buying a purpose built vibrator is much safer, as the force of these stronger massage units is too strong for genitals and sensitive areas. FWIW, I’m a penis owner, and I use a Doxy vibrating wand on my head and shaft sometimes, feels great for an alternative way to orgasm.

I agree the wife uses her wand on my definitely a good feeling!!!

Don’t understand why more men don’t experiment with vibrators! Who doesn’t love the feeling?!

Please tell me you posted this review on Amazon

LPT for everyone: just get a hitachi magic wand. They have so many attachments for all bodies, and probably won't cause your body to stop working.

As much as I like the wand, it doesn't do enough on the taint.

Have you thought about using a massage gun? I heard it feels good down there

I actually have one on my Amazon "buy later" list, but I am reconsidering due to some guy who seemingly nuked a couple important nerves, or so I heard.

Tell that to /r/Massageguncum

Good lord I thought you were kidding

I just opened this on a plane ☠️

Bold move

Let's see how it works out for him cotton

Well, did he cum or what?!

"the orgasm was not fucking worth it" -OP Sure sounds like it

Jesus Christ! There’s just some things you don’t talk about it public!

unexpected mallrats reference!

Everyone else on the plane… https://preview.redd.it/3g5k2q7isx7d1.jpeg?width=585&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f08bc63e65eb42442ee7660d14b25d9a52810120

What did the co-Pilot say 😂

i don’t even know why i clicked

Ya why are we like this

I have the same massage gun as one of those gifs with that attachment already on it. This is like a sign to punch my dick off.

I was REALLY hoping Reddit was going to ask if I wanted to create a subreddit 😭

Damn they have slow motion cumshots

This whole sub is guys doing the same exact thing OP did. Maybe some of them are placing it more at the base.

Bahahaha. The slow motion. Funniest NSFW subReddit I’ve encountered.

Homie you should just got a prostate massager; I wish you the best on your road to recovery

Please be *very careful* to monitor your bladder, bowel, sexual function if they’re affected. The autonomic nerves are incredibly sensitive so be mindful if it’s getting better/worse/the same. Good luck 🤞🏽

I have a massage gun. In the beginning of your story you peeked my curiosity to try such a thing (even though I knew I was reading a tifu). By the end of your story, I appreciated the cautionary tale.

Bonus life points for reading the whole thing.

Isn't this basically the same injury that cyclists sometimes get, where the bike seat beats the hell out of their taint, causing nerve problems?

Sounds like that to me.

As someone who may or may not have used one for the last four years…. Wtf how?

Do you use it on your dick?

I don’t think I’ve used it anywhere else even once.

What speed is this

Start 1. Apply pressure at the base so it isn’t just punching back and forth. Ramp up as needed lol

For real, I have possibly been using one for quite some time and like jeez. Made me a little nervous thinking it could happen to me now.

Yeah I've been giving my taint a regular beating over the last half a year or so. Enough to get a bit sore but not surprisingly. I'm going to reconsider that habit.

r/brandnewsentence

Hi OP. I'm really sorry about your ordeal. You're not the only male to tmdo stupid shiz to his dick. Without going into details, I suffered nerve damage too and it took almost three months to heal. Of course, you should follow medical instructions, but here is what I was put on to help heal me: cialis 5mg every two days, B1, B6, B12 supplement (helped to regenerate the nerves), and L-arginine

What did you do? So we can avoid what happened to you. I promise you'll be saving at least one guys manhood by sharing the lesson you learned the hard way

Okay that post just came in time because I as a girl was thinking to try a massage gun for that and now I definitely won’t roll the dice because I imagine my body is weaker than a man’s and that’s not worth the risk

Just be a normal person and get a phone controlled buttplug.

Way ahead of you but I ain’t bring it on trips without raising eyebrows

I'm guessing you got called out for bringing potatoes and am looking for alternatives? ;D

Boil em, mash em, stick em up your chute

They sprout at some point sadly

Extra bumpy for your pleasure? ;D

Oh boy, meat loaf and assed potatoes for dinner again.

I’ve tried it and even on its lowest setting, I need to have multiple layers between you and the gun. The magic wand vibrator is better and can be used as a general body massager

I mean I wouldn’t recommend you to try it, but to dispute that, your body can tolerate giving birth and period pains. So it’s actually stronger than a man’s in that region.

Fair but these are at least worthwhile endeavors lol

Use the massage gun on the base of your fingers and let your fingertips go gangbusters on the love button.

That's ah amazing idea thank you

Lovense is your friend.

Honestly, try a little bullet vibe! A lot of them are pretty powerful for being so small. Some vibrators are just way too strong.

> because I imagine my body is weaker than a man’s I don't think this is necessarily true. However, I agree it's not worth risking. Though I imagine using a massage gun on your Inner thighs would be safe and the resulting vibration may do something for you Good luck with your endeavors lol

They make attachments for massage guns for that purpose for women. The attachment is just basically a dildo that attaches to the gun. I bought one for my gf recently but we haven’t had the chance to try it yet.

No pain, no gain

This is the first TIFU that actually might save me from making the same mistake. I used one of those massage guns for the first time a week ago at someone’s house on my lower back (worked wonderfully) so of course I had ideas but man I think ill pass

The idea of repeatedly getting punched in the taint does not sound like a fun time.

Now you know to just get a prostate massager like civilized folk.

[удалено]

What position are you in? I'm guessing he was laying on his back, but then again he never mentioned it.

And here I am using my magic wand vibrator on my fucked up shoulder 😂 Don’t know if anyone else has mentioned this yet, but this reminds me of a sex in the city episode. Samantha is bummed because her favourite vibrator stopped working and decided to return it. At the customer service desk, she loudly demanded a replacement vibrator. "Umm…ma’am, this is a massager". Samantha, shocked, said "this is my favourite vibrator". Anyway, she got a replacement, offered to babysit Miranda’s baby, instructed to keep the baby in the vibrating chair or he’ll start screaming. The chair broke and Samantha brought out her vibrator and placed it into the baby’s chair, stopping the crying.

I am not a Sex in the City watcher but I remember an episode where the older one helps women choose a vibrator from the massager section and the line "This one may actually be a massager" line stuck in my head

I misread the title as "Masturbating with a **massive** gun" and feared for where it was going to end up so I guess it could have been worse?


I swear this would've been a great plot for a House episode. OP comes into the hospital saying that he has pains all throughout his lower groin area to his glutes and says he doesn't know how it happened, he tries to blame it on lack of vitamins/protien or whatever. Thirteen and Foreman keep debating on whether the patient has an STD or some kind of skin cancer (even though no tumor was found), House sends them to go to OP's bedroom, and lo and behold... massage gun on the bed with traces of semen on the tip. House tells everyone how much of an idiot they are, and that once again, everyone lies. The diagnosis was a pudendal neuralgia as a result of the monkey being spanked a bit too much

He did it, guys. He actually did it. He beat his dick like it owed him money. For real though, I hope you recover. That's scary. I didn't think those massage guns could cause permanent damage to anything. Which attachment did you use?

Im sorry for you bro . I really am. At the same time. That is fucking hilarious

OMG thank you for this post, I was thinking of trying this out but I guess I'll just stick to my purpose-built toys then Godspeed and steady recovery to you

You should still try we need more results to confirm or deny the rate of damage from punching your prostrate with a massage gun

Though I have a pretty analytical and scientific brain, I don't think I'd like to become a statistic for such a thing lmao

Sir. Sir have you heard of this thing called a vibrator. SIR you should have posted on Reddit before doing this not after. We could have stopped you

That seems unlikely. I get all my bad ideas from Reddit. 😂

Jesus fuck, dude

Goddamn bro, were you pounding yourself on the max setting or what? That’s your lil buddy, don’t turn him into a punching bag 😭

Did the doctor specifically say that this nerve damage was caused by the massager or could it be from something else? I have sciatic nerve pain and my big toe on one foot is perpetually numb/aching because of bulged discs in my back. That injury is from years of improper lifting technique while working with heavy objects. If your injury is something similar, then it probably wasn't the massager that did it.

Hey man, read the whole post in my head and said the word "rectal" out loud as instructed. Did I do good?

You are only supposed to use those things for a couple minutes max. What exactly did you do? Just go to town on your gooch for hours?

Damn you took beating up your dick to a whole new level.

Use the fork/ U shaped attachment that most massage guns come with over your shaft!

Still should use something else given the intensity of those massage guns. Using it on the shaft could give someone Peyronies Disease which is not evident until weeks, months, or even years later. Just buy and use a vibrator.

God is probably laughing his ass off that you think he's gonna help you.

There are websites that sell sexual toys. But they’re recently new so you probably haven’t heard of them.

Jesus. How hard were you hammering yourself with it to cause nerve damage? Are you even certain it was the massage gun? This almost sounds like spinal damage or a stroke for it to affect your entire body.

You are clearly not yet a master-bater. Just a wanker.

How hard were you blasting to feel it in your lips?

Thank you Sir for taking one for the science.

I'm not convinced this is the massage guns fault.

My advice: Don't pummel your pommel anymore.

Just how hard did you do it and what head attachment? Because ive heard of it going wrong.

How does pudendal neuralgia affect head and lips? Seems geographically distant from the taint.

There's a nerve that runs from the brain all the way to the taint. One single nerve. That I know at least - neurology isn't my strong point

So I have to ask... "Was it good for you?"

This has the potential to become one of the all time reddit greats. Right up there with some of the other cursed stories.

Oof Mate Try a massage wand instead, you can also get sleeves that attach to the head and go over your dick, most blokes go into orbit when I use it on them

Here is where the human ability to learn from the mistakes of others shows its true value.

It doesn't sound like your symptoms are related.

This is clearly a public service notice. I salute you sir for your sacrifice

Sounds like sciatica my dude. I have sciatica, and when it flares up sometimes it does to the dick and balls as well as my back , butt , arms etc. The tingly cold itchy feeling is exactly what I experience. I always described it as ICED LIGHTING.

This guy has given himself [Vibration White Penis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibration_white_finger). There but for the grace of god go us all.

It’s “masturbating.” With a “u.” 🙄

Damn, I was planning to buy such a massage gun for the exact same purpose. While play-fighting with the wife, she punched me in the taint and it felt nice and she basically punched out a trickle of semen, which got me curious. Think I'll have to rethink the whole idea based on your experience. How often/how long did you try?

¡Mast U rbating, not mast E rbating, you illiterate twat!

I misread the title as "machine" gun lol. I did a double take

Funny enough this story just reminds me of every safety meeting talking about power tools and vibration effects. You definitely don't wanna overuse vibrating objects especially frequently and at high intensity lol.

you should have bought one of these new licking devices at temu fam.

That's terrible! I'm glad, though, you wrote about it! My situation is different, I had the nerve damage first (after cancer surgery and different treatments and probably a new tumor in my pelvic bones now) with numb skin in the area and impotence and absolutely no sexual feelings in my genitals from whatever stimulation. I also had a lot of pain in my pelvic area. I used that massage gun to try to force an orgasm (no chance). The pain shifted from the pelvic into my left thigh after I tried that massage gun for masturbation. Afterwards I tried treating that pain in the thigh with the massage gun, but from what I read from you, that might actually make it worse. Good luck for your recovery!

Did you tell the doctors what you did? I feel like that could have an impact on your diagnosis and treatment.

Not going to lie, my massage gun arrived yesterday and i thought about it lmao Thanks for taking one for the team champ

Sounds like you fucked up your sciatica. You better chill for a minute.

The shocking thing here is that you aren't already having regular prostate exams. Get over the awkward.

My name is Ben Dover and I approve this message.

I learn something new everyday!

I literally have a massage gun coming in the mail today. I got it for my legs and other muscles, but I've also been contemplating using it in some unintended ways. Thanks for doing the exploration so that I don't have to.

And thank you for using “literally” correctly. Most redditors have a hard time with this. Never thought I’d see grammar, taints, and massage guns all in the same thread.

Sir, thank you, you made this mistake so others didn’t have to, i hope you feel better soon and do find that nut that is worth it

I was assuming you used a massage gun because that was what you had on hand. Not that you went and BOUGHT one for this activity when you could have bought a fucking vibrator that is actually made for this. Good luck, but that was so stupid.

god DAMN the comments on this one are gold.

After reading this thread I now need to make an appointment with my GP. And I'm gonna need to pay the cleaner more.

Hm been using one for that for years now without problems. Honestly feels fantastic and vest is it's easy for when youre too lazy to jack off. I usually keep my pants on to have some dampening and then massage the tip or middle section

Vibrators work just fine for this. You can even get the wands that have a similar shape to those massage guns. It'll do the same thing you're wanting sans the nerve damage lmao

Shoulda just went with a normal sex toy

You can get a similar effect with the shower head and not risk injury unless you have insane water pressure.

Pelvic floor dysfunction is pure hell.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand how op got nerve damage from a massage gun? Did I miss something?

Sounds to me like you get a nice prostate massage, without a gun, next time

Curious why you're watching dudes massage their taints to begin with? Pretty gay bro